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"description": "[i]Originally Submitted to FurAffinity.net on Aug 16th, 2010 01:07 AM.[/i]\n\nAllow me to explain… all right, so I was drunk (I can probably stop there, but I’ll go on), and after snacking on a substantial amount of large pickles, I became overly curious about the stork on the jar. “He must have a name or something,” I think to myself, so I do a little research. Supposedly, he does (Jovny), and I get around to watching some of those promo videos on Vlasic’s website so I can grimace at his hideous new 3D makeover. In one of them, he mentions his favorite yoga pose is the “downward-facing stork.” \n\nThe curious cat in me said, “Gee, I wonder why…”\nThe rule 34 artist in me said, “Oh, he’s asking for it.”\nThe one-track-minded teenagers in me said, “Huh huh huh, heh heh heh.”\nThe horned purple lizard in a red suit sitting on my left shoulder said, “DO EEEEET.”\nThe robed osprey with a halo sitting on my right shoulder said, “Put the Goldschläger away, get some bread in your stomach, drink some water, and then DO EEEEET.”\n\nNice things. Vlasic can’t have them either.",
"description_bbcode_parsed": "Originally Submitted to FurAffinity.net on Aug 16th, 2010 01:07 AM.
Allow me to explain… all right, so I was drunk (I can probably stop there, but I’ll go on), and after snacking on a substantial amount of large pickles, I became overly curious about the stork on the jar. “He must have a name or something,” I think to myself, so I do a little research. Supposedly, he does (Jovny), and I get around to watching some of those promo videos on Vlasic’s website so I can grimace at his hideous new 3D makeover. In one of them, he mentions his favorite yoga pose is the “downward-facing stork.”
The curious cat in me said, “Gee, I wonder why…”
The rule 34 artist in me said, “Oh, he’s asking for it.”
The one-track-minded teenagers in me said, “Huh huh huh, heh heh heh.”
The horned purple lizard in a red suit sitting on my left shoulder said, “DO EEEEET.”
The robed osprey with a halo sitting on my right shoulder said, “Put the Goldschläger away, get some bread in your stomach, drink some water, and then DO EEEEET.”
Nice things. Vlasic can’t have them either.",
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