13 years have passed since Apius and Caetia was introduced to their father's sex desires. The two of them had gotten their clan markings on their face, but it was one they both decided on together. They chose the colours as each were the favourite colours of the family. Caetia always loved a particular shade of blue, it relaxed her while making her think of pristine rivers. Apius strangely liked a certain pink colour, he doesn't know whether it was from all the years of living with his mentally unstable Dad or a strong attachment to something that made him feel proud. After what he and his sister grew up with he at least discovered what sexuality he has and despite it all has left him proud to like such a colour. Both he and Caetia should have been put through the military, conscription to serve and the likes. But out of the many good things their Dad did to try to make up for everything he got them exempted. Things like that prevented Apius to hate his Dad, he however felt uncertain and extremely conflicted on everything. All his life his Dad was plain and clearly blaming himself. He never made Apius be the fault, but he could have stopped. Right? The thoughts always kept on coming back to Apius when it came, not even the times when he and his Sister were together in a moment could make those thoughts go away. His Dad was clearly ill, he clearly loved Apius and his Sister. But all these thoughts and feelings of love and care from his Dad didn't matter when it came at the cost of Apius's childhood. He actually kept some of the videos his Dad made of them. He only kept the ones that didn't want him to throw up or want to rip his own mandibles off. But some were just too nice, like a sick feeling of enjoyment that he himself likes. Apius hated the thought that he liked some of the videos because he thought it was sexually appealing. To the point that if it wasn't for Caetia he'd might have gone off and committed the atrocities on unsuspecting young turians himself. His Dad spoke to him a few times about if he ever got those thoughts to never act on them, something Apius keeps in mind. He never wanted to turn out like his Dad.

Apius felt his sister's arm embrace him from behind tightly, she rested her head against his back shoulder inhaling deeply and slowly. Apius didn't realise he was sitting on the edge of the bed facing the wall, he was sweating and breathing irregularly.
"Nightmare?" Caetia asked tiredly. Apius touched and held his sisters arms around himself and sighed deeply. He didn't realise he actually woke up, he thought he was still asleep. He remembers waking up in a split panic and faced the wall, but he thought he was still dreaming somehow.
"Yes.. I'm sorry."
"It's ok Api. I'm just glad you're here." He felt so, so safe with his sister. His Dad told the both of them that safety is them together, as if he and her needed another reason to be inseparable. Apius moved around in Caetia's arms, faced her and laided her down back on the bed to face each other. Neither of them had anything to say, but they looked into each other's eyes deeply. Caetia cracked a slightly smile causing Apius to shed a slight tear. He rubbed her cheek and mandible, she pulled him into her for a kiss. As they kissed the two of them shuddered and and quivered from the cold air going through their room. They loved the cold temperature together as it meant they could hold onto each other.
"I dreamt of Dad." Apius said with a slight rasp, he's throat was begging for hydration.
"Me too, I was just. Always worrying about him, about us. That nightmare of hoping he didn't kill himself every day. Fuck me..." Caetia huffed shakily.
"I dreamt that we were still home. Either dealing with Dad 'needing' to touch us or locking himself in his room. Then he just randomly grabbed me. Fuck it... Dad never did that but I just... fuck it all." Apius could feel his bones crack as he stretched his fingers, arms and legs.
"I miss him." Caetia's face was like she was crying but no tears came out. Apius sighed and nodded back.
"I... miss him and don't miss him. I just... am glad he isn't here." He paused and hugged his sister tighter, leaning his head into her. "I remember the happy moments, but the rest... I don't want to think about." They held onto each other and drifted back to sleep together. Until Apius woke up in a slight panic, causing the two of them jolt. "I'm sorry I'm sorry!"
"It's fine it's fine!" Caetia rubbed Apius's cheek and stroked his mandible, they both sighed feeling drained. Apius kept thinking about how much he wanted to fiddle with his own sister. Caetia kept thinking about fiddling with her own brother. The thing is, both of them knew what each other were thinking, but now was not the time. They instinctively let go of each other to get out of bed and dressed. They watched each other with a calm smile, the comfort of seeing each other dress or literally anything else made them feel relaxed. Showering, walking, eating, hell even pooping. They needed each other like a aid pet.

The home that Apius and Caetia live in now is completely different from the old one. It had colour, beautiful scenery, rejuvenating breezes and a small, inclusive but community. All on a planet in several star systems away from where they lived with their Dad. Apius put the necklace that his father gave him around his neck. He held it close to his heart, even remember all that his father said when it was handed to him. It was little things like that that kept Apius from hating or avoiding his Dad. Apius dressed casually with clothing that suited the climate of the planet. It comprised of a shirt and pair of pants, a dark purple was the main colour with a light cyan highlights across it. Caetia dressed in a colour splatted apparel with various shades of blue, pink and purple. Apius tried to dress modestly while his sister went for a neon punk to match her bright moods. She had the piercings to match it all as well, something of which Apius wished or desired to get. But he was adamant that it wouldn't look good on him and felt comfortable of being modest. In fact Apius absolutely loved how his sister dressed, she got the idea one time from the clan marks they had chosen. She saw the colours and immediately decided that how she was going to dress, that and she felt comfortable wearing whatever she wanted around Apius. She would surprise him at times by wearing arm and leg warmers, or fishnets of the same colour and nothing else. She would also apply a blacklight coating to her clan marks and the rest to her body to match it all. Although the first time it scared Apius because he didn't see it coming, he since then loved whatever his sister chose to wear. Caetia loved Apius for his modest clothing because she felt comfortable when he was wearing something safe. She loved wearing her dangerously provocative clothing and attires but felt uncomfortable when others do it. She didn't know why either, it was just because. This day Caetia decided to wear her blue fishnets, her pink and black arm warmers, her black, purple and green anarchy shirt and dark blue pants that stopped at her knees. The explosion of colours, to the refined and then tattered clothing she wore was just so beautiful to Apius. Apius finished dressing first and stood watching his sister waiting for her to finish. She smiled with a slight nervous twitch in her left mandible.
"Could you... do something while I finish?" Apius nodded quickly and started stretching. He first crouched down to bend his legs and followed up by cracking his fingers. Caetia wasn't too far away from finishing when she asked because by the time Apius finished cracking his fingers she walked up to him in a perky fashion and hugged him. They finished hugging and held hands as they walked out of the room. They entered a recording room with pricey gear and gadgets. Several desks with computer terminals, a large variety of game consoles and programs were stacked neatly. A comfortable lounge, a carpet were dead centre in the room with 4 purple curtains on the walls. A lot of the stuff were quite expensive, so when they inherited and received a lot of money prior leaving home to where they are now they had bought a lot in order to achieve their goals. For Caetia it was gaming professionally, for Apius it was to look after his sister and making music. Music was the way Apius could express himself without words as he was scream and yell to get out all those anguish inside him. Aside from that he loved supporting and joining in what Caetia does. Helping set up the camera, edits recorded footages for her stream channels, joins when coop is available and whatever she asks for. Sometimes she partakes in Apius's work but more often than not she just listens to the finished work. 
"Hey Api?"
"Yeah Cae?"
"I'm going to be playing Gambit today, are you going to join?" Gambit was an oldish game but still popular in the intergalactic gaming community. It was a platformer with multiple mechanic modes within it, changing to 3rd personal stealth to first person assassination. It was critically acclaimed for this and having a collection of worthwhile bosses in each of them to make all the features non-redundant. So naturally Caetia and Apius wanted to play it together.
"Of-fucking-course!" His face lit up causing Caetia to chuckle and sit down on the lounge patting next to her to invite Apius. He sat next to her and relaxed, pulling up his wrist tech to turn the air con on in the room to give it a pleasant chill. Caetia leant over to over to grab the controllers and turn on the recording display.
"We're on in about a minute." She turned to give Apius a controller and smiled at him with glee. He grabbed it and smiled back. "Cuddle?"
"Cuddle." They embraced each other and grunted in satisfaction. They mashed their nose plates together but did not kiss, things like this brought them such joy that words couldn't describe. They pulled themselves back, grabbing their controllers and faced forward as the timer closed near to finished. The timer clicked and the monitor in front of them lit up.
"Yello all! It's me Caetia and my big brother Apius today. I hope you all are ready becausssse..." Caetia picked up a packet and showed it to the camera. "It's Gambit! Fuck yeah! This fucking legend of a game and we're gonna play it today. Gonna have to start a new game obvs, so we gotta get our characters sorted. Api, who are you going to be?" Caetia spoke so confidently and relaxed, not her reluctant and twitchy self. Maybe she was just so relaxed and comfortable with her brother being there, or she was just acting. She spent so much time in her life pretending things were alright, she was alright. It worn her out so much that she had an emotional break down, several weeks before their father attempted suicide several times and that led him to turn himself in. Caetia sees herself as the trigger of their father's sudden decline and blames herself for making everything wrong. But as he was taking himself away he assured the both of them.

"This was coming for the longest time. I can't take this anymore, hurting you two, abusing you two. None of this is your fault remember that and I wish the two of you the best when I'm gone. It will be better that way." That was the last they heard of their Dad that day. Caetia spent all day crying and throwing her stuff at the walls, Apius desperate to calm her down kept trying to hug her. Laius was gone from their lives leaving Caetia a massive hole in her heart and Apius shattered. They felt free and not opposed upon but, they loved their Dad still. He was ill, mentally and physically. At least they got each other now. Apius loved watching his sister smile, but was often anxious that she was putting on an act. He wanted her to be happy, not look happy. As she kept talking to the camera Apius kept looking at his sister and the ground. He just couldn't look at the cameras nearly as much as he use to. He heard his name, faced the camera and smiled. It was time to play. He knew that Caetia's followers were friendly or gamers at heart, so he felt right at home with the whole thing. As they played for hours it was finally time to wind down the session. As they stopped the stream the both of them sighed and laid back on the lounge. It was so much fun but it felt so exhausting. Apius felt compelled to read the comments, he liked getting compliments and reading the ones about Caetia. But he saw a few that startled him.
"Are they really brother and sister?"
"Yeah they are."
"Cause they look like they fuck each other."
"Wtf"
"I mean they are close."
"No you disgusting cube head they most certainly dont"
"I'd find it hot if it were true."
"Yeah me too."
"Fuck you guys im trying to enjoy this game and sick fucks are talking shit like this." The comments went on and on. Apius's heart felt cold and quiet, was it really that obvious? Worse, the comments flamed on for 24 minutes. He felt his sister embrace him from the side, it soothed him a bit but he started crying.
"These fucking comments... this was all fun, most fun I've had in a while and this just.." He felt his sister lean him over to lie down on the lounge with her holding him from behind. 
"I saw. I just tried to ignore it."
"Are we monsters? Freaks?" His works choked a little bit, he stroked his sisters hands around his abdomen.
"I don't think so. We're just.. different Api."
"Do we... announce about us?"
"Of course not."
"Thank fuck." He chuckled in a huff, Caetia joined in. "But what do we do with all the comments?"
"Ignore them, Api. If they become convinced, we can joke or play along. Because at the end of the day, the intergalactic net will believe any kind of shit they see."
"Since when did you become big sister?" 
"You don't need an answer for that you dummy." They chuckled together with Caetia resting her chin on Apius's shoulder.

A few hours passed with Caetia jumping from a dream she had, waking the both of them up.
"Fucking hell!" The both of them yelled, Apius rolling off the lounge and Caetia sitting upright. The both of them spent a bit breathing heavily until they faced each other.
"I'm so sorry Api. Shit!"
"It's ok! Are you alright?" Apius sat up back on the lounge and they both embraced each other.
"Just a really bad dream." She paused and sighed for a long time, quivering and shaking. "Fuck... I hate it. But I'm so glad I have you." They held each other for a little bit more until Apius let go to stand up.
"I should get dinner ordered and such. The usual?" Caetia nodded back and smiled. She stood up and followed Apius to the dining room. He touched a pad that brought up a menu, he touched a few options and it lit of green. The two of them sat down at a table facing each other. The room was nicely lit, small potted plants neatly arranged around the room, a window open letting in the breeze from outside enter. It didn't have much else in the room but they were thinking about getting a few tanks for pets like reptiles and fish. They smiled at each other politely as lights from the roof appeared and food transfered to the table before them. This piece of technology was a new contraption, something the Salarians had made along side turians and human alike. So long as you had the credits to burn, it will transfer meals, cooked or unprepared if desired, across galaxies so long as a satellite was installed on the planet. Apius and Caetia got their pizza and hot chips. As they ate they watched each other to make sure the other was eating. When they had finished Caetia kept her eyes on Apius as he got up to put the rubbish into the trash disintegrater. When he was done he noticed Caetia watching him with a slight grin. He could feel the tension and he approached her.
"Api, I need you to fuck me."
"Yeah?" He had a sneaky suspicious that she had a sudden urge spike.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I really need you right now. Let's shower and get ready." She paused for a bit, "Are you ok with this?" Her words were rushed and stilted. Apius nodded nervously and played with his own fingers. As Caetia got up she felt how nervous her brother was and walked up to him to hold his hands. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah, of course Cae. I mean, I'm happy to help." They both leaned in for a kiss, and they walked off to the shower room. As they stripped they watched each other, Caetia looked at Apius's junk and couldn't help but think of how much she wanted to hold it. To lick it, suck it. Apius looked at Caetia and kept looking at her pelvic area. He only ever rubbed it, stroked it, licked and sucked it. The only furthest he had ever gotten was to finger her. She was so hell-bent that her ass was for penetration, something that Apius wouldn't complain about. Whenever he saw her butt he just had this strong primal urge to grab it, kiss it and of course to fuck it. Caetia walked up feeling shy and holding around her self while Apius had one arm around his chest and one over his junk. The both of them were so use to each other naked in the past, but still found it breathtaking and nerve-wrecking when they were like this together. They dropped their guards to hold hands and walked into the shower. Later on was to release from built up sex trauma pent. They were on the road to recovery, maybe never ever able to fully recover but the positive differences were making it all the better.

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Caetia woke up in her bed, the temperature was freezing with her brother holding her from behind. She swallowed her saliva and sighed softly, letting off some tension that she was holding onto. Her thoughts were in a frenzy and felt compelled to remove her brother's arms away from her.  She gripped onto his hands around her abdomen and gave up quickly. She covered her face in her hands to block out her vision, she breathed deeply and whined softly to herself. She couldn't stop thinking about her Dad, she wanted to see him again and hoped desperately that he wasn't dead. She feared for his life, but she didn't really want to live with him again. She can't bare deal with living with him, but wanted him to be happy elsewhere. But she knew it was hopeless to wish something good but she desperately wanted a happy ending.
"Are you ok Cae?" Whispered Apius concerned.
"You're hugging me a bit too tight, Api." Caetia sniffed in response, Apius apologised and let go of her entirely. "No! Hold me, just not so tight." Apius apologised again and held onto her with less grip. Caetia kept sniffing and whining softly. "I can't stop thinking about Dad. I just can't stop thinking about him. I want him to be ok but he's probably getting beat up, bullied or already dead. I don't want him to die, I want him to be alright." Apius remained silent but stroked his sister's chest comfortingly in response. "I know you don't want any more to do with him, I know he did more to you. But I fucking miss him, I want him to be happy without us."
"It's ok, Cae." Apius rested his head against Caetia's head. He could feel her heart beat fluctuate between erratic to sudden cold pauses.
"What's ok?"
"Cae..." Apius paused, took a deep breath and sighed. "It's ok to be sad, it's ok to worry about him. But I need you to keep me going as much as you need me. Yes he did more to me but it doesn't mean it invalidates how you feel."
"But I'm afraid of constantly bringing him up and having you go 'oh shut up Caetia'!"
"Cae if it bothered me that much I probably would but I don't!"
"But every time I talk about him your mandibles twitch and your eyes look down. You also push me away when that happens."
"I can't help it Cae. I just... I don't know. Please... can we stop talking about this?" Caetia sighed and flopped her arms in front of herself.
"You do that an awful lot as well." She could feel tears forming on her face and felt some on the back of her neck.
"I'm sorry." Apius choked on his words and held onto his sister a bit tighter. "I don't like conflict, I just want things to go by without any."
"But I need to talk Api! I need to get this all out of my system!" She removed her brother's hands from their grip around her, Apius retracted his arms back to himself feeling immense worried and sorry. Caetia shuffled over and faced Apius, Apius couldn't help but look down and not into his sister's eyes. Until his felt his sister's hands on the side of his head as she drew him towards her. "I don't like seeing you suffer when I open up, Api." Apius hugged his sister once more and kept staring into his sister's eyes.
"Cae... I really can't help but react that way, but I will always be here for you. Because even when I try to avoid things I don't leave. I stay with you as long as possible because I can't bare to just walk out on you." Tears poured from both their eyes, "I may not have an answer but I'm always will be listening. I know I need to work on dealing with conflict, I'm sorry. I can only promise to try."
"Thank you, Api." They stared at each other for several minutes letting the situation calm down. Caetia smiled causing Apius to return the favour. "Maybe we should stop calling each other Api and Cae."
"Nah, I like calling you Cae."
"But when I call you Api I think of 'A-pee'. I thought I annoyed you with that."
"When you put it like that it does sound really weird. But I was only ever annoyed when you said it rapidly. Kept making me think of fire boss on that 'Technomagno' game."
"Oh gooooood that fucking guy. APIAPIAPIAPIAPI!" Mocked Caetia,
"BURN BURN BURBURBURBURBURNNN" The two of the laughed together, mimicking the sounds of a gaming classic. Both returning with another zinger and hilarious anecdote to keep each other distracted. They once again fell asleep in bed.

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Caetia woke up to the sounds of whimpering, crying and heavy breathing. She could feel the bed thump next to her. In a spark of fear she jumped out of bed onto her feet, took a few steps back and heaved her breathes loudly.
"Api, are you ok!?" He voiced waned and wobbled with shock and concern. Apius was stabbing his pillow with a knife with tears saturating the sheets below him. There were blue stains scattered about his pillow and side of the bed, he was bleeding at the forearms and upper thigh with his blood slightly coated in his blood.
"I don't...! I don't know, I fucking don't know I just want to stab the shit out of something!" He couldn't speak properly without phlegm clogging his nose and throat. He was sweating all over despite the air conditioner being really cold. He turned to Caetia. His eyes were widened, snot slightly dangling from his nose with his mandibles out and down. Caetia covered her mouth holding back her breaths trembling, the cold didn't help how frightened she was. Apius dropped the knife on the bed as he stared back at his sister. He could feel his body perpetually straining harder to not cry causing his body to shake. Caetia crouched down, hunching inwards to herself and moaned loudly in distress. She was paralyzed, so terrified with indecision and feeling outright hopeless. Apius staggeringly got out of bed and stumbled to her in a desperate attempt to help calm her. As he knelt and embraced his sisters they quivered and shook in unison. Apius muttering how sorry he was with Caetia whimpering she was afraid, hopeless and how sorry she was. Apius didn't care how much his slash wounds hurt while hugging his sister, blood crept on the floor and stuck to Caetia on contact. Eventually Caetia calmed down, whimpering more and sniffling loudly. He squeezed her brother's arms that were around her.
"Why... why did you do this?"
"I don't know... I just wanted to fucking stab something. I slashed myself, it woke me up but I still wanted the stab something. I'm so sorry Cae." More moments passed as they sat on the ground. Caetia finally noticed the blood of her brother and snapped out of her shock.
"Api! We need to give you medical attention." Apius became alert immediately, he looked at his wounds and the blood he had left around. He let go of Caetia and fell backwards, he finally felt lightheaded from the bloodloss. Caetia frantically stood up and ran out of the room to grab supplies. Apius was still calming down from the experience, he kept rubbing up and down his wounds. Caetia called Apius over to take care of his wounds. She sat him down on a chair while she worked on him, in the midst of it all Caetia kept talking to Apius to make sure he was alright. He tiredly smiled and chatted back, trying so hard to hold back his tears. Disinfectant was sprayed and then wiped over his wounds to which after layers of gauze rolls were wrapped around his wounds. It stung like crazy, it didn't even hurt all that much before it was cleaned and patched up. He was overcome with a mass amount of guilt and shame. He had wondered if this was like what his Dad went through? It was different but the feelings and his own reactions felt similar. He knew it wasn't the same but he kept thinking of it to calm himself, comparing things put him at ease because he'd just keep thinking on and on about any old crap to keep his mind busy. He knew one thing for sure, psychotic episodes like this can happen. He just prayed he wouldn't hurt his sister.

After he was taken care of, Caetia embraced her brother and cried softly.
"Don't do that again, Apius."
"I... I can only promise to try, Cae. I just..."
"No need to explain, really. I get it, I really get it. Just don't fucking slash yourself."
"I needed to see blood, I needed to feel like I was fighting back. I felt like... if I saw my blood it put me into a mode to fight back the thoughts." Caetia let go of her brother and sat in front of him on the ground.
"Don't do this to me Api." She sniffed and sighed. "I can't handle another suicidal family member."
"I'm... not suicidal Cae. I just have all these pent up feelings and thoughts. I needed to do something to take it out on."
"Slashing yourself can lead to death Api." She paused and rubbed her forehead. Apius didn't know what to say, he felt absolutely awful. It didn't feel like a big deal to him at all, if anything he felt better getting those violent thoughts out of his system. But he saw his sister distressed. It was just like how she was with their Dad around them and it scared him seeing his sister break down like she did all that time ago.
"I'm so sorry Cae. I didn't really think of you when I felt compelled."
"You didn't think at all."
"That's not true. I got a lot out of my head, i just... forgot how Dad made you feel. I just did that to you... didn't I?" Caetia looked away momentarily and then faced him once more.
"Yes."
"Then I'll try to do something else next time. I don't know how or what, but believe me when I say that it helped."
"I find that so hard to believe, Api. I just don't see h-"
"I just imagined the times I really wanted nothing to be done to me. All the times I put up with it and how much I wished it never happened. I wanted to scream bloody murder fight back with whatever I grabbed, a knife, a gun, a controller. I wanted to see blood to feel like I was succeeding, to give it a feeling of any kind to make it feel like it's real. I needed to stab something to silence the voices and noises out of my head, I needed... I just needed something." He paused feeling the tension in the air. he hated it, he didn't want to make his sister upset but it felt like everything he was saying wasn't helping.
"Did you imagine doing all that to Dad?"
"...I won't deny I thought of him... he wasn't the only one who did stuff to me but... but I don't know if I really thought of him being the victim. I don't want to actually hurt or kill Dad, it's just all these thoughts and feelings... a lot of them came from thinking of him." Caetia nodded softly, she could see now even just a little bit. She was glad that he realized how much this scared and hurt her. Apius sat down from his chair to be at the same level with Caetia. "I'm going to need your help, I'm sorry."
"It's ok, really. I'm happy to help, I just wish I knew how."
"I'm sure we'll think of something." Apius scooted over to be next to Caetia, she rested her head on him in response. "We're going to need new pillows and bed sheet."
"Maybe mattress as well. I think I stabbed through the pillows and ripped it up." Apius looked away feeling a tad embarrassed. Caetia sighed and followed with a chuckle.
"That's fine. I'm sure we can get a new one. Promise me you won't ruin the new one."
"I promise I won't."