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"description_bbcode_parsed": "It caught Owen by surprise, how much this could hurt. It began as a dull smolder but quickly ignited into a flash fire, roaring up his spine and searing his muscles and burning the air out of his lungs, leaving him gasping and choking and spasming. It was a roaring pain so overwhelming he could hardly speak. Yet, when he remembered this later, he was sure that he spoke. He did speak, didn't he? It became weirdly difficult to remember exactly what happened.
He was sure he asked Ben to stop. He told Ben to stop. He begged Ben to stop.
Ben didn't stop.
In that moment, it was like Ben was something else, something Owen didn't recognise. But no. No, Ben is wonderful. Ben is amazing. Ben is perfect. This isn't his fault. And if it's not his fault...
Well, Owen became something else too. Something worthy to be ashamed of. Yeah. That makes much more sense. That's where the blame belongs. Where it has always belonged.
This feeling...
This felt like when Owen's dad used to drink. Used to scream at him and hit him. It was Owen's fault for being so needy. For being fat and lazy and girly. For growing his hair. His fault. It always was.
This felt like when the kids in high school used to corner him behind the lockers, call him a faggot, grab handfuls of his clothes, push him up against the wall, and
This felt awful and horrible and scary, and so familiar and so appropriate and so right.
This was his fault. His boyfriend (who is so generous for putting up with him) got excited and carried away, and Owen was too... weak and pathetic to convey to him how much he was hurting him. He should have been louder. Should have been clearer.
But Owen failed.
Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.
Stupid cunt.
*
If you subscribe to my Telegram channel you can see all uncensored art, and see it early, alongside teasers for future content. You can also react to pics and vote in polls, and I post the occasional timelapse there.
Join here: https://t.me/+1n1FzVenMSA1ZTE1",
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