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His being Chirpy, mine Archibald. This is considered mostly out of canon, but hey, smut is smut. Warning: contains human on monster girl and someone who doesn't usually write smut writing smut.\n\nSince they're drunk in most of this, but I didn't write slurs, just... picture it. Also, is this technically dubious consent?\n\nThumbnail I quickly made myself.\n\nAny critique welcomed? idk, I don't write much but I like it more than drawing.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "A story I wrote for my boyfriend \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
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\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tHappyTireal\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
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of our Dark Souls inspired DnD characters. His being Chirpy, mine Archibald. This is considered mostly out of canon, but hey, smut is smut. Warning: contains human on monster girl and someone who doesn't usually write smut writing smut.

Since they're drunk in most of this, but I didn't write slurs, just... picture it. Also, is this technically dubious consent?

Thumbnail I quickly made myself.

Any critique welcomed? idk, I don't write much but I like it more than drawing.", "writing": "[i]It had been years since Archibald had seen the kingdom of Ember. Him and his travelling group had been sent on assignment farther and farther from his home to find ways to help Lord Brennin. Cliodhna meant well, surely, but he began to suspect she saw him as a ringleader, his group a circus he treated with as much compassion as his family, as to him, they were. If not for them, he would’ve still been locked up in that cell, doomed to die and return endlessly, stomach empty and heart heavy. They had been assigned to seek a treasure belonging to a noble, according to Clio “you’d recognize it when you saw it. It was adorned with the markings of home.” a stolen treasure? A gift needed to be returned? A vessel for the rebirth of his kingdom? Archibald didn’t know. But what did he know? They were stranded in an area he was unfamiliar with, something he’d gotten used to.\n\t\nThe party had found themselves in a wooded area, not a sign of civilization in sight. To cover more ground, they’d decided to split up. The Human barbarian Ustag had gone with the Tiefling Saebald; they were to explore to the west. Next, Moon, a little peasant girl who hid an unknown magical power teamed up with Hilda, a gnome priestess who was also her wife; they were assigned the east, which Saebald had to be told the difference multiple times. Finally, you had Archibald himself, a human paladin, who was partnered up with the Kenku Chirpy; they were tasked with heading through the forest directly. During this story, night had fallen after a few days of travel.\n[/i]\n\tThe forest was eerily quiet, the crackling of the fire the only man made noise. Archibald stood away from the fire, giving into a vice he had developed; crescent moon grass cigarettes. Since they were easy to find and make, he carried with him a pouch of the (normally) medicinal grass, a box of rolling papers, and a box of matches. “Lord Brennin forgive me, can’t let Chirpy see me like this. Ever since coming here, I’ve become a nervous wreck.” He took another drag, letting out a deep sigh, “More. More of a nervous wreck.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a box full of cigarettes of various other states of use, using it to extinguish the cigarette he’d been dragging off of. Once fully extinguished, he placed the box back into his pocket and made his way back to the campfire.\n\n\t“Hello Archi.” Chirpy greeted him. Being a Kenku, her speech consisted of her parroting other things she’d heard before. Archibald got used to it, even helping her by adding words to her lexicon.\n\n\t“Hey Chirpy, how’s dinner coming along?” He greeted her warmly, a smile peeking through his beard.\n\n\t“Dinner’s almost done. Roasted rat, my specialty!” She let out a proud chuckle. “Why did you leave?”\n\n\t“Oh, I just needed to be alone for a second. Don’t worry about it, Chirpy.” His tone was reassuring, but she saw through it. “Fine, I was having a quick smoke. It’s purely medicinal, I promise. I’m just… Stressed.” She huffed, puffing her cheeks in frustration. “I promise I’ll quit. Now, let’s eat.”\n\n\n\tBellies full from a banquet of rat and rations, the pair sat by the fire, the woods rustling with the movement of critters and the wind. “Can we play cards, Mr.Archi?” She motioned towards his adventuring bag. “They’re in the front pouch, right?” He nodded as she began digging through it. She found a few items; the hated cigarette container (she was tempted to pocket it and toss it into a river), a box of matches, a tinderbox, a small journal, the deck of cards, and, surprisingly, a fairly large flask. “I found booze! Let’s make this game interesting!”\n\n\t“Chirpy, just grab the cards-!” His tone was disapproving, but he changed it when he heard the second half, “Wait, what do you mean by ‘interesting’?”\n\n\t“Loser of a hand takes a shot. Sound good?” She gave a faux-innocent smile as he nodded in agreement. Satisfied, she looked at the deck, then up at him, a bit excited, “So what’ll we play?”\n\n\tArchibald proceeded to show her the cards, partly because she didn’t play often, but also partly so she could “record” the names to make playing easier. The game they’d agreed to play? Poker. While it started off as one-sided, Chirpy learned the rules quickly and she began to win a few hands.Despite owning it, Archibald hadn’t counted on the flask’s contents being fairly strong, medical grade spirits.\n\nAfter roughly thirteen shots between them, they were both making constant mistakes; accidentally showing their cards early, forgetting to draw, etc. Time passed, and the flask finally dried up. “Archiii, the flask is-” She let out a hiccup and giggle, “-the flask is empty. I wanna keep playing! Know any other rules?”\n\n\tArchibald looked at the deck of cards, then at Chirpy. A feeling welled up in him he wasn’t aware he still felt, having not felt it in years; Was it wrong for a paladin to feel this way? If it was, he wasn’t capable of denying it as he smiled drunkenly, a hidden hint of mischief unseen by Chirpy. “I’ve an idea; Ever heard of ‘Strip Poker’?” She shook her head no, “It’s quite simple. If you lose a hand, remove a piece of clothing. Sound fun?” He couldn’t believe what he was saying, but it felt right. “Good. Shuffle the cards and I’ll deal.”\n\n\tThe first hand, Chirpy won. “Do I decide what to take off, Mr.Archi?” He gave a shrug, “Well. I think that should be a rule! Take off your coat.” The request was quite tame, so without hesitation, he did so. He was almost thankful, the mixture of the campfire and the alcohol made him feel warm.\n\nPlaying another hand, Archibald suffered another loss. “Okay, this time… Remove your tunic.” Her voice dropped off as she said the last few words, possibly from embarrassment, but he began removing his tunic slowly. Peeking through some holes in the fabric, he could both see and practically feel her eyes exploring his toned, scarred body. “Curious? Most of these I got before adventuring, I guess. Couldn’t tell while I was just skin and bones… Regardless, wanna keep playing? We can stop here.” Her face was noticeably flushed, but she shook her head no.\n\n\tExpecting another loss, Archibald was surprised when Chirpy finally made a mistake, possibly from a mixture of embarrassment and drunkenness. “D-dammit… Well, I guess it’s my turn.” She smiled nervously.\n\n\t“Let’s be fair, I removed my coat, so... remove your feathered cloak.” She did so, placing it onto her backpack. It didn’t take long for her to lose another hand; nervous, she felt her heart begin to pound as she looked at Archibald, who met her gaze. “Well, you know what I’m going to say; remove the vest. Need a hand with it?” His familiar helpful tone shone through, minus the occasional slurred word. Chirpy shook her head and began to doff her vest, revealing a part of her Archibald never thought he’d see; a pair of perky breasts peeked through the feathers. Chirpy’s heart rate sped up. Feeling confident, Archibald’s tone turned playful, “Ha. Never thought I’d see those. Much like the resta you, they’re cute.” She hid her normally pale face, now burning from embarrassment (beating the campfire in warmth), in her hands.\n\n\t“Stop, you’re embarrassing me, Mr.Archi!” She peeked through her fingers. “N-not that I have a problem with it.” Her heart kept pounding. “C-can we just keep playing?”\n\n\t“If you’re still willing, sure.” With a quick shuffle of the deck, hands were dealt. Whatever ‘poker face’ Chirpy had was gone, Archibald could now read her like an open book. Despite this, he found himself losing. “Welp, you earned this,” he muttered drunkenly. Chirpy felt her cheeks flush, but exclaimed a panicked cry as her friend stumbled a bit thanks to his minor inebriation. “Ah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Now, for your reward.” Expecting to hear the sound of his belt unbuckle, Chirpy peeked through her fingers. A feeling of frustration and disappointment filled her as he kicked off his boots and sat down, a smug smile peeking through his beard. He could see her brows furrow through her black hair, “What, you expected me to remove these?” He motioned towards his pants, his tone growing very matter-of-fact, “Sorry, you know I keep them tucked into my boots, so they needed to go first.”\n\n\t“You butt! That’s not very funny!” A feathered coat suddenly hit him directly in his face. “Don’t tease me like that!” Her annoyance only made him burst into laughter, pulling the coat down and blowing loose feathers out of his face.\n\n\t“You almost sound disappointed. It’s okay, The socks’re in the boots too, so one more loss and you’ll be ‘rewarded’, paladins honor.” He held one hand to his chest while he handed Chirpy back her coat. Admittedly it was kind of mean, but he loved her reaction; he rarely got to be less serious, so he reveled in it a bit as he began dealing another hand, as well as tossing another bit of kindling into the fire. “Don’t get too excited, nothing to lose your head over…” Chirpy replaced a bit of her cards, grumbling. “Or I suppose, your pants.” Again, he let out another laugh, Chirpy groaning and mimicking a booing audience.\n\nThe chilly wind howled through the trees as the two sat there in silence, the camp’s flames lighting up the scene. Chirpy decided to break the silence, clearing her throat. “Well, what’s your hand look like, Archi?” He placed down three of a kind, the other cards unimportant. “Not bad… But I’ve got a full house!” Her tone was fairly excited, something she didn’t mean but couldn’t hide.\n\n\t“Fine, fine. No tricks; here you go.” Without hesitation, Archibald stood up again, but began fiddling with his belt buckle. Normally he wouldn’t struggle, but he believed the drink had finally hit him. While she offered to help, Archibald finally managed to unhook his belt, the pair of pants almost dropping due to the pouches on the sides of the belt weighing them down. “Gods dammit… Mood’s been ruined.” He took a second to fully remove the pants, placing them on top of the rest of his gear. “Well, there you go, you won. Good work, Chirpy.”\n\n\tChirpy lost focus as Archibald began to congratulate her, eyes focused on the paladin’s full body. She hadn’t won, a set of linen, tented slightly, blocked the real prize. “We’re n-not done yet!” Archibald looked at her, puzzled. “I… I mean, you still have one more article of clothing. And so do I… S-so it’s not over yet, right?”\n\n\t“I suppose not.” He sat back down, giving the deck one more shuffle as Chirpy handed him her old winning hand. “Also you only have one more? Wow, you dirty bird.” A light chuckle escaped him, “I guess it makes sense though; it’d get in the way of your tail feathers. You only wear the pants to be a bit more ‘proper’, right?” A nod from her confirmed it. “Alright. One more hand. Winner takes all, I suppose.” He began dealing the final hands, slightly excited.\n\nChirpy’s face was normally fairly emotionless, so Archibald couldn’t use that to determine her hand. Her flushed cheeks didn’t help either, as they’d been like that since he’d removed his pants. Was he actually that good looking? Surely she could do better. Regardless, he checked his hand. A pair. He peeked over his hand again, seeing the still stone-faced Chirpy focused on her cards. She replaced two cards and looked at him. “Well, Mr.Archi?” With literally nothing left to lose, he replaced his whole hand, surprised by the outcome.\n\n“Four of a kind! I guess I wi-” Chirpy began, but was interrupted by…\n\n“A Royal Flush. Talk about blessed luck!” She couldn’t believe it. Archibald had won. “Sorry, Chirpy, but you lost. Now come on, fulfil your end of the deal.” Her face reached a new shade and temperature as she stood up, face flushed from both embarrassment, frustration, and… a feeling of excitement. Her clawed hands began undoing her own buckle; needing to fully slide off the belt so she could get her tail around it, the pair of pants falling at her feet. Much like the rest of her, she had a fair bit of feathers adorning her lower half, enough of her still exposed to the air, the fire, but most important, Archibald.\n\n“H-how long do I have to stand here?” She shivered a bit, the cold of the night mixing with her already mixed emotions. Archibald stood up, startling her as she was picked up and carried to the tent they’d set up before the sun went down. She was set down onto a sleeping bag, confused as Archibald lay down closer to her lower half. “W-what’re we gonna do in the te-” Her question was cut off as he part her legs, his somehow soft hands pleasant against her skin. Without warning, he inched closer to her, resting his head between her thighs. Before she could ask, his fingers and tongue began exploring, causing her to fall back, a shocked gasp escaping her. The softest utterance of “A-archi!-” escaped her upper lips as he explored her lower pair.\n\nBefore he’d become a paladin, before he’d even become a cavalryman, he had a fling that ended in a way that caused him to go down that path. He remembered her coaching him in the act he now did, a foul but now helpful memory. Placing his hands on her inner thighs, he let his tongue finish its maiden voyage, savoring her taste as Chirpy now let out soft moans. Her hands grabbed the top of his head, her mind still cognizant enough not to grip too hard, not wanting the pleasure to end. But end it would, as her legs wrapped around his head, a loud cacophony of random noises escaping her as she lost control of her voice. With one final grip, she felt her body tense up and finally released the pent up pleasure she’d built up, now lying there almost limp as Archi undid her legs from him, wiping his face.\n\n“Sorry, something came over me, Chirpy. I just… Had an urge. I still had room after dinner, I guess.” He let out a weak chuckle, barely aware if Chirpy could hear him as she lay there, still awash with satisfaction and pleasure. “Glad you enjoyed it, now excuse me.” He began to stand up as her foot talon grabbed him, giving him a sudden shock.\n\nArchibald stood hunched over, body partially in the tent. He waited with bated breath and an erection he hadn’t noticed until he’d been found in this position. “D-don’t leave yet… Please. I should return the favor, right?” She sat up, releasing his leg and moving aside the hair in front of her eyes, panting slightly. “Give me a second, I need to catch my breath.” Back beginning to ache, Archibald sat down, reaching for his adventuring bag.\n\nA tossed waterskin landed on Chirpy’s stomach, which she proceeded to drink greedily. With a final deep breath, she leaned forward to meet her companion’s gaze, taloned hand reaching for his crotch. Despite the risk he felt remotely calm, possibly due to being inebriated, as she freed his cock, along with some accidental ripping (despite what you’d think, it was from her talons, nothing more). “I… I’ve never seen one before,” she paused as it twitched, giving her a minor startle. “What do I do?”\n\n“I’d suggest starting with your hand but-” He met her eyes and they nodded in agreement, “would… not be wise. Start with a lick, I’d reckon.” He shifted his weight, holding the rod in his freed hand. “I’ll keep it steady. Oh, and Chirpy? I know you’re smart but… No biting.” From her delicate licking, he could tell she lacked experience which, while usually a negative, put the caregiver part of his mind at ease. Despite this, he let out hushed groans as he stroked himself with her rhythm. Her expressions almost killed his lust as he held back laughter, but it returned as she began to attempt fellatio. The tent filled with sloppy sucking noises, Chirpy slowly getting into the movements and rhythms, mostly thanks to the helpful hand movements. \n\nExpectedly, the act lasted a much shorter time span, Chirpy pulling back in surprise as cum landed on the ground, dribbling out slowly. “Ew, this milk’s gross.” Her use of milk showed she didn’t know the word, so he didn’t bother correcting her. “But it was… enjoyable I guess. Not as much as what you did.” She sat back, taking another swig from the waterskin, relaxing from the anticlimax. Archibald let out a deep sigh, sitting up. “Anything else? That first thing was kinda fun.”\n\nArchibald thought for a second, wondering if he should. Alcohol and lust clouding his judgement as his erection jumped to life. “Well, I have an idea… but you have to trust me, Chirpy.” He gave a slight pause, “Do you?” She nodded in between taking a drink when suddenly her friend lunged on top of her, the waterskin dropping, it spilt down her front and soaked into the tent’s bottom. “My tongue and fingers felt good, right?” She gave him a meek nod; He was so close she could smell the alcohol on his breath, he was barely recognizable as the same Archibald she shared dinner with. “Let’s try… something more intimate. Last chance to back out.” Despite his offer, she didn’t back down, excited to see where it’d go. As if to answer her internal questioning, Archibald’s hand darted for her nethers, loosening her for the impending actions.\n\nChirpy let out a moan of pleasure, glad to receive the attention, but it was soon turned into surprise as her friend’s member rested on her stomach, twitching against her wet entrance. Seeing up from this angle, it seemed larger than she thought; Archibald was at full mast and it caught her off guard. With precision, Archibald’s cockhead entered her, a shriek of delight and surprise escaping her. He forced himself to take it slow, not wanting to hurt Chirpy, silencing the drunken, carnal part of him. Her lack of experience with oral told him to go slow, moving his hips in a slow rhythm. “A-archi. Wait..!” he pulled out, panicked as she said this. But his fears were unjustified, not a drop of blood in sight. “You were… crushing me.” They exchanged embarrassed looks as he apologized profusely. “I’m sorry, you’re just… too big for me.”\n\nAn idea struck the lewd paladin; “Wait, I guess that was a bit difficult, given our… size difference. No amount of alcohol could make it easier. Maybe we could try with you on top?” She looked at him, puzzled. Figuring it’d be easier to show than tell, he picked her up easily and lay down, resting her on top. “Now, you just have to ride it like a horse. Simple, right?” She looked at him, at his twitching member, then back at him, flustered. “Look, don’t worry. Just take your time, Chirpy. Trust me, it’ll be better this way.” His tone reassured her as she stood up, avoiding digging her talons into him, positioning herself.\n\n“Deep breaths, Chirpy. You got this. Just like a horse… Like a horse…” She repeated this as she moved her hips down, feeling his head against the entrance again. Archibald provided her his hands so she could balance, as well as explaining that she needed to move her hips. With a nod, she began her movements, she forced herself down further, prodding deeper cautiously. She focused on her movement, moans escaping both her and Archibald, Chirpy’s noises becoming a bit more random. The tent filled with the sounds of their drunken sex until it was silenced by Chirpy moving too far down, feeling a sudden pain, letting out a panicked gasp.\n\n“Good lords, are you okay, Chirpy?!” Archibald stopped to notice the trickling of blood on his member. “I see… I had no idea, Chirpy. You okay?” His tone was almost like that of a concerned father, but Chirpy shook her head through some tears. Archibald cursed himself under his breath, not wanting to be her first, but it couldn’t be helped now. If it were a cliche romance novel, they’d be in sync but the two drunks were offbeat from each other, Archi more concerned if he should clean the act with what was left of the waterskin’s contents.\n\nThe sounds and smells of amateur sex returned to the tent, Chirpy getting back into it as she felt Archibald hit deeper with each one of her movements. The longer it went on, the more her focus shifted, her noises returning to their randomized ‘playback’ of things she’d heard. She’d never be able to fit his whole length, but it felt good enough for her purposes. Archibald’s grip loosened, his carnal needs returning as he began thrusting into her. Moans and noises filled the tent, reaching past their encampment, but the two didn’t care; it helped to let loose, and how much more loose could you get? In his last act as Archibald, not his lust, he forced himself to lift Chirpy, confusing her as a wet feeling went up her back. “Not inside… Can’t ruin your life yet, Chirpy…” She didn’t know what he meant, or cared as she ground herself against the rod to her own completion, not even noticing her companion had passed out. With a final climax shaking her body, she went limp on top of her companion, joining him in sleep.\n\nIn her dreams, Chirpy’s mind swam with new thoughts from her experiences. All of this had started because of a card game. She’d seen a side of Archibald she didn’t know about, and she couldn’t tell if she liked it or found it too different. Would their relationship change after this night? Her thoughts drifted, as she tossed and turned inside the tent, not noticing Archibald waking up hours before her. She dreamt that their sexual escapades continued, but it was nothing but a dream.\n\nChirpy awoke to the smell of breakfast and the chirping of wild birds. She sat up, realizing she had been wrapped up in blankets, her clothes lay next to her. She wiped her eyes and stood up, slipping back into her casual gear, noticing she had also been slightly dressed in her sleep. “Archi? Are you out here?” She noticed her friend hunched over the fire, stick in hand with a plucked bird on the end of it. She ran over to him, draping herself over him for a hug, accidentally startling him awake. “Wait, you were asleep?”\n\nHe let out a small chuckle. “I was up a bit late after… last night.” He looked somewhat embarrassed and ashamed. “You were out like a light, so I cleaned us up, then made sure our noise didn’t attract any unwanted attention.” He pulled out another skewered chunk of meat, its source unknown. “Hope you slept well.”\n\n“I did. Last night was… something else.” She smiled. “Not something I’d not do again, but hey, I enjoyed it. Didn’t know about that side of you, Archi.” Her words made him wince a bit. “What, I say something wrong?”\n\n“Chirpy, I’m a paladin.” He let out a tired sigh, his tone apologetic, something she didn’t get. “I thought becoming one would free me from those needs. I guess not, however. I apologize.” With that, he passed her the roasted bird. “I didn’t mean to use you like that.. Now, eat up, we got a long walk ahead of us.”\n\n“Okay, but look, don’t be sorry, please? I don’t know anything about this whole paladin thing but it was fun. You gotta not stress so much. Live a little, you know?” She took a bite of the bird, smiling. “Besides, you’re acting like a dad, and considering last night…” He shot her a look. “What? I’m not wrong. You really know how to treat a bird.” He facepalmed as she let out a laugh. “We don’t gotta tell the rest of the group if it makes you uneasy.”\n\n“Thank you. Next time, if you do something like that, please do it with someone you love. And do your research…” Archibald scratched his chin hair, feeling old saying that.\n\n“But I do love you, Archi.” Chirpy’s tone was more friendly, but he felt himself heat up.\n\n“Not like that Chirpy. Like… Romantically. I don’t have to spell it out, do I?” He held his waterskin to his lips, gulping loudly.\n\n“Oh. You mean like Moon and Hilda?” She tossed the remains of the bird she didn’t eat into the fire.\n\n“Yes. Yes, like them…” He had a brief pause, before turning towards her, puzzled. “Wait, you’re interested in women?”\n\n“Gods Archi, you’re so awkward sober!” She gently slapped him as he laughed, she hid her face in her feathers.\n\n“What, I’m just curious? If you were-” He was cut off as she raised her wing over his face.\n\n“ENOUGH! LET’S-” she lowered her wing, clearing her throat. “Let’s just pack up and go. No more dad jokes, please… Each one feels painful.\n\n“Fine, fine. Let’s go.” He tussled her hair, his face beaming. “But remember, I’m always here for you.”\n\n“Thanks, Archi. I really appreciate it.” Returning his smile, they began to pack up their camp, ready for whatever shenanigans the two’d encounter.\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "It had been years since Archibald had seen the kingdom of Ember. Him and his travelling group had been sent on assignment farther and farther from his home to find ways to help Lord Brennin. Cliodhna meant well, surely, but he began to suspect she saw him as a ringleader, his group a circus he treated with as much compassion as his family, as to him, they were. If not for them, he would’ve still been locked up in that cell, doomed to die and return endlessly, stomach empty and heart heavy. They had been assigned to seek a treasure belonging to a noble, according to Clio “you’d recognize it when you saw it. It was adorned with the markings of home.” a stolen treasure? A gift needed to be returned? A vessel for the rebirth of his kingdom? Archibald didn’t know. But what did he know? They were stranded in an area he was unfamiliar with, something he’d gotten used to.
\t
The party had found themselves in a wooded area, not a sign of civilization in sight. To cover more ground, they’d decided to split up. The Human barbarian Ustag had gone with the Tiefling Saebald; they were to explore to the west. Next, Moon, a little peasant girl who hid an unknown magical power teamed up with Hilda, a gnome priestess who was also her wife; they were assigned the east, which Saebald had to be told the difference multiple times. Finally, you had Archibald himself, a human paladin, who was partnered up with the Kenku Chirpy; they were tasked with  heading through the forest directly. During this story, night had fallen after a few days of travel.

\tThe forest was eerily quiet, the crackling of the fire the only man made noise. Archibald stood away from the fire, giving into a vice he had developed; crescent moon grass cigarettes. Since they were easy to find and make, he carried with him a pouch of the (normally) medicinal grass, a box of rolling papers, and a box of matches. “Lord Brennin forgive me, can’t let Chirpy see me like this. Ever since coming here, I’ve become a nervous wreck.” He took another drag, letting out a deep sigh, “More. More of a nervous wreck.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a box full of cigarettes of various other states of use, using it to extinguish the cigarette he’d been dragging off of. Once fully extinguished, he placed the box back into his pocket and made his way back to the campfire.

\t“Hello Archi.” Chirpy greeted him. Being a Kenku, her speech consisted of her parroting other things she’d heard before. Archibald got used to it, even helping her by adding words to her lexicon.

\t“Hey Chirpy, how’s dinner coming along?” He greeted her warmly, a smile peeking through his beard.

\t“Dinner’s almost done. Roasted rat, my specialty!” She let out a proud chuckle. “Why did you leave?”

\t“Oh, I just needed to be alone for a second. Don’t worry about it, Chirpy.” His tone was reassuring, but she saw through it. “Fine, I was having a quick smoke. It’s purely medicinal, I promise. I’m just… Stressed.” She huffed, puffing her cheeks in frustration. “I promise I’ll quit. Now, let’s eat.”


\tBellies full from a banquet of rat and rations, the pair sat by the fire, the woods rustling with the movement of critters and the wind. “Can we play cards, Mr.Archi?” She motioned towards his adventuring bag. “They’re in the front pouch, right?” He nodded as she began digging through it. She found a few items; the hated cigarette container (she was tempted to pocket it and toss it into a river), a box of matches, a tinderbox, a small journal, the deck of cards, and, surprisingly, a fairly large flask. “I found booze! Let’s make this game interesting!”

\t“Chirpy, just grab the cards-!” His tone was disapproving, but he changed it when he heard the second half, “Wait, what do you mean by ‘interesting’?”

\t“Loser of a hand takes a shot. Sound good?” She gave a faux-innocent smile as he nodded in agreement. Satisfied, she looked at the deck, then up at him, a bit excited, “So what’ll we play?”

\tArchibald proceeded to show her the cards, partly because she didn’t play often, but also partly so she could “record” the names to make playing easier. The game they’d agreed to play? Poker. While it started off as one-sided, Chirpy learned the rules quickly and she began to win a few hands.Despite owning it, Archibald hadn’t counted on the flask’s contents being fairly strong, medical grade spirits.

After roughly thirteen shots between them, they were both making constant mistakes; accidentally showing their cards early, forgetting to draw, etc. Time passed, and the flask finally dried up. “Archiii, the flask is-” She let out a hiccup and giggle, “-the flask is empty. I wanna keep playing! Know any other rules?”

\tArchibald looked at the deck of cards, then at Chirpy. A feeling welled up in him he wasn’t aware he still felt, having not felt it in years; Was it wrong for a paladin to feel this way? If it was, he wasn’t capable of denying it as he smiled drunkenly, a hidden hint of mischief unseen by Chirpy. “I’ve an idea; Ever heard of ‘Strip Poker’?” She shook her head no, “It’s quite simple. If you lose a hand, remove a piece of clothing. Sound fun?” He couldn’t believe what he was saying, but it felt right. “Good. Shuffle the cards and I’ll deal.”

\tThe first hand, Chirpy won. “Do I decide what to take off, Mr.Archi?” He gave a shrug, “Well. I think that should be a rule! Take off your coat.” The request was quite tame, so without hesitation, he did so. He was almost thankful, the mixture of the campfire and the alcohol made him feel warm.

Playing another hand, Archibald suffered another loss. “Okay, this time… Remove your tunic.” Her voice dropped off as she said the last few words, possibly from embarrassment, but he began removing his tunic slowly. Peeking through some holes in the fabric, he could both see and practically feel her eyes exploring his toned, scarred body. “Curious? Most of these I got before adventuring, I guess. Couldn’t tell while I was just skin and bones… Regardless, wanna keep playing? We can stop here.” Her face was noticeably flushed, but she shook her head no.

\tExpecting another loss, Archibald was surprised when Chirpy finally made a mistake, possibly from a mixture of embarrassment and drunkenness. “D-dammit… Well, I guess it’s my turn.” She smiled nervously.

\t“Let’s be fair, I removed my coat, so... remove your feathered cloak.” She did so, placing it onto her backpack. It didn’t take long for her to lose another hand; nervous, she felt her heart begin to pound as she looked at Archibald, who met her gaze. “Well, you know what I’m going to say; remove the vest. Need a hand with it?” His familiar helpful tone shone through, minus the occasional slurred word. Chirpy shook her head and began to doff her vest, revealing a part of her Archibald never thought he’d see; a pair of perky breasts peeked through the feathers. Chirpy’s heart rate sped up. Feeling confident, Archibald’s tone turned playful, “Ha. Never thought I’d see those. Much like the resta you, they’re cute.” She hid her normally pale face, now burning from embarrassment (beating the campfire in warmth), in her hands.

\t“Stop, you’re embarrassing me, Mr.Archi!” She peeked through her fingers. “N-not that I have a problem with it.” Her heart kept pounding. “C-can we just keep playing?”

\t“If you’re still willing, sure.” With a quick shuffle of the deck, hands were dealt. Whatever ‘poker face’ Chirpy had was gone, Archibald could now read her like an open book. Despite this, he found himself losing. “Welp, you earned this,” he muttered drunkenly. Chirpy felt her cheeks flush, but exclaimed a panicked cry as her friend stumbled a bit thanks to his minor inebriation. “Ah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. Now, for your reward.” Expecting to hear the sound of his belt unbuckle, Chirpy peeked through her fingers. A feeling of frustration and disappointment filled her as he kicked off his boots and sat down, a smug smile peeking through his beard. He could see her brows furrow through her black hair, “What, you expected me to remove these?” He motioned towards his pants, his tone growing very matter-of-fact, “Sorry, you know I keep them tucked into my boots, so they needed to go first.”

\t“You butt! That’s not very funny!” A feathered coat suddenly hit him directly in his face. “Don’t tease me like that!” Her annoyance only made him burst into laughter, pulling the coat down and blowing loose feathers out of his face.

\t“You almost sound disappointed. It’s okay, The socks’re in the boots too, so one more loss and you’ll be ‘rewarded’, paladins honor.” He held one hand to his chest while he handed Chirpy back her coat. Admittedly it was kind of mean, but he loved her reaction; he rarely got to be less serious, so he reveled in it a bit as he began dealing another hand, as well as tossing another bit of kindling into the fire. “Don’t get too excited, nothing to lose your head over…” Chirpy replaced a bit of her cards, grumbling. “Or I suppose, your pants.” Again, he let out another laugh, Chirpy groaning and mimicking a booing audience.

The chilly wind howled through the trees as the two sat there in silence, the camp’s flames lighting up the scene. Chirpy decided to break the silence, clearing her throat. “Well, what’s your hand look like, Archi?” He placed down three of a kind, the other cards unimportant. “Not bad… But I’ve got a full house!” Her tone was fairly excited, something she didn’t mean but couldn’t hide.

\t“Fine, fine. No tricks; here you go.” Without hesitation, Archibald stood up again, but began fiddling with his belt buckle. Normally he wouldn’t struggle, but he believed the drink had finally hit him. While she offered to help, Archibald finally managed to unhook his belt, the pair of pants almost dropping due to the pouches on the sides of the belt weighing them down. “Gods dammit… Mood’s been ruined.” He took a second to fully remove the pants, placing them on top of the rest of his gear. “Well, there you go, you won. Good work, Chirpy.”

\tChirpy lost focus as Archibald began to congratulate her, eyes focused on the paladin’s full body. She hadn’t won, a set of linen, tented slightly, blocked the real prize. “We’re n-not done yet!” Archibald looked at her, puzzled. “I… I mean, you still have one more article of clothing. And so do I… S-so it’s not over yet, right?”

\t“I suppose not.” He sat back down, giving the deck one more shuffle as Chirpy handed him her old winning hand. “Also you only have one more? Wow, you dirty bird.” A light chuckle escaped him, “I guess it makes sense though; it’d get in the way of your tail feathers. You only wear the pants to be a bit more ‘proper’, right?” A nod from her confirmed it. “Alright. One more hand. Winner takes all, I suppose.” He began dealing the final hands, slightly excited.

Chirpy’s face was normally fairly emotionless, so Archibald couldn’t use that to determine her hand. Her flushed cheeks didn’t help either, as they’d been like that since he’d removed his pants. Was he actually that good looking? Surely she could do better. Regardless, he checked his hand. A pair. He peeked over his hand again, seeing the still stone-faced Chirpy focused on her cards. She replaced two cards and looked at him. “Well, Mr.Archi?” With literally nothing left to lose, he replaced his whole hand, surprised by the outcome.

“Four of a kind! I guess I wi-” Chirpy began, but was interrupted by…

“A Royal Flush. Talk about blessed luck!” She couldn’t believe it. Archibald had won. “Sorry, Chirpy, but you lost. Now come on, fulfil your end of the deal.” Her face reached a new shade and temperature as she stood up, face flushed from both embarrassment, frustration, and… a feeling of excitement. Her clawed hands began undoing her own buckle; needing to fully slide off the belt so she could get her tail around it, the pair of pants falling at her feet. Much like the rest of her, she had a fair bit of feathers adorning her lower half, enough of her still exposed to the air, the fire, but most important, Archibald.

“H-how long do I have to stand here?” She shivered a bit, the cold of the night mixing with her already mixed emotions. Archibald stood up, startling her as she was picked up and carried to the tent they’d set up before the sun went down. She was set down onto a sleeping bag, confused as Archibald lay down closer to her lower half. “W-what’re we gonna do in the te-” Her question was cut off as he part her legs, his somehow soft hands pleasant against her skin. Without warning, he inched closer to her, resting his head between her thighs. Before she could ask, his fingers and tongue began exploring, causing her to fall back, a shocked gasp escaping her. The softest utterance of “A-archi!-” escaped her upper lips as he explored her lower pair.

Before he’d become a paladin, before he’d even become a cavalryman, he had a fling that ended in a way that caused him to go down that path. He remembered her coaching him in the act he now did, a foul but now helpful memory. Placing his hands on her inner thighs, he let his tongue finish its maiden voyage, savoring her taste as Chirpy now let out soft moans. Her hands grabbed the top of his head, her mind still cognizant enough not to grip too hard, not wanting the pleasure to end. But end it would, as her legs wrapped around his head, a loud cacophony of random noises escaping her as she lost control of her voice. With one final grip, she felt her body tense up and finally released the pent up pleasure she’d built up, now lying there almost limp as Archi undid her legs from him, wiping his face.

“Sorry, something came over me, Chirpy. I just… Had an urge. I still had room after dinner, I guess.” He let out a weak chuckle, barely aware if Chirpy could hear him as she lay there, still awash with satisfaction and pleasure. “Glad you enjoyed it, now excuse me.” He began to stand up as her foot talon grabbed him, giving him a sudden shock.

Archibald stood hunched over, body partially in the tent. He waited with bated breath and an erection he hadn’t noticed until he’d been found in this position. “D-don’t leave yet… Please. I should return the favor, right?” She sat up, releasing his leg and moving aside the hair in front of her eyes, panting slightly. “Give me a second, I need to catch my breath.” Back beginning to ache, Archibald sat down, reaching for his adventuring bag.

A tossed waterskin landed on Chirpy’s stomach, which she proceeded to drink greedily. With a final deep breath, she leaned forward to meet her companion’s gaze, taloned hand reaching for his crotch. Despite the risk he felt remotely calm, possibly due to being inebriated, as she freed his cock, along with some accidental ripping (despite what you’d think, it was from her talons, nothing more). “I… I’ve never seen one before,” she paused as it twitched, giving her a minor startle. “What do I do?”

“I’d suggest starting with your hand but-” He met her eyes and they nodded in agreement, “would… not be wise. Start with a lick, I’d reckon.” He shifted his weight, holding the rod in his freed hand. “I’ll keep it steady. Oh, and Chirpy? I know you’re smart but… No biting.” From her delicate licking, he could tell she lacked experience which, while usually a negative, put the caregiver part of his mind at ease. Despite this, he let out hushed groans as he stroked himself with her rhythm. Her expressions almost killed his lust as he held back laughter, but it returned as she began to attempt fellatio. The tent filled with sloppy sucking noises, Chirpy slowly getting into the movements and rhythms, mostly thanks to the helpful hand movements.

Expectedly, the act lasted a much shorter time span, Chirpy pulling back in surprise as cum landed on the ground, dribbling out slowly. “Ew, this milk’s gross.” Her use of milk showed she didn’t know the word, so he didn’t bother correcting her. “But it was… enjoyable I guess. Not as much as what you did.” She sat back, taking another swig from the waterskin, relaxing from the anticlimax. Archibald let out a deep sigh, sitting up. “Anything else? That first thing was kinda fun.”

Archibald thought for a second, wondering if he should. Alcohol and lust clouding his judgement as his erection jumped to life. “Well, I have an idea… but you have to trust me, Chirpy.” He gave a slight pause, “Do you?” She nodded in between taking a drink when suddenly her friend lunged on top of her, the waterskin dropping, it spilt down her front and soaked into the tent’s bottom. “My tongue and fingers felt good, right?” She gave him a meek nod; He was so close she could smell the alcohol on his breath, he was barely recognizable as the same Archibald she shared dinner with. “Let’s try… something more intimate. Last chance to back out.” Despite his offer, she didn’t back down, excited to see where it’d go. As if to answer her internal questioning, Archibald’s hand darted for her nethers, loosening her for the impending actions.

Chirpy let out a moan of pleasure, glad to receive the attention, but it was soon turned into surprise as her friend’s member rested on her stomach, twitching against her wet entrance. Seeing up from this angle, it seemed larger than she thought; Archibald was at full mast and it caught her off guard. With precision, Archibald’s cockhead entered her, a shriek of delight and surprise escaping her. He forced himself to take it slow, not wanting to hurt Chirpy, silencing the drunken, carnal part of him. Her lack of experience with oral told him to go slow, moving his hips in a slow rhythm. “A-archi. Wait..!” he pulled out, panicked as she said this. But his fears were unjustified, not a drop of blood in sight. “You were… crushing me.” They exchanged embarrassed looks as he apologized profusely. “I’m sorry, you’re just… too big for me.”

An idea struck the lewd paladin; “Wait, I guess that was a bit difficult, given our… size difference. No amount of alcohol could make it easier. Maybe we could try with you on top?” She looked at him, puzzled. Figuring it’d be easier to show than tell, he picked her up easily and lay down, resting her on top. “Now, you just have to ride it like a horse. Simple, right?” She looked at him, at his twitching member, then back at him, flustered. “Look, don’t worry. Just take your time, Chirpy. Trust me, it’ll be better this way.” His tone reassured her as she stood up, avoiding digging her talons into him, positioning herself.

“Deep breaths, Chirpy. You got this. Just like a horse… Like a horse…” She repeated this as she moved her hips down, feeling his head against the entrance again. Archibald provided her his hands so she could balance, as well as explaining that she needed to move her hips. With a nod, she began her movements, she forced herself down further, prodding deeper cautiously. She focused on her movement, moans escaping both her and Archibald, Chirpy’s noises becoming a bit more random. The tent filled with the sounds of their drunken sex until it was silenced by Chirpy moving too far down, feeling a sudden pain, letting out a panicked gasp.

“Good lords, are you okay, Chirpy?!” Archibald stopped to notice the trickling of blood on his member. “I see… I had no idea, Chirpy. You okay?” His tone was almost like that of a concerned father, but Chirpy shook her head through some tears. Archibald cursed himself under his breath, not wanting to be her first, but it couldn’t be helped now. If it were a cliche romance novel, they’d be in sync but the two drunks were offbeat from each other, Archi more concerned if he should clean the act with what was left of the waterskin’s contents.

The sounds and smells of amateur sex returned to the tent, Chirpy getting back into it as she felt Archibald hit deeper with each one of her movements. The longer it went on, the more her focus shifted, her noises returning to their randomized ‘playback’ of things she’d heard. She’d never be able to fit his whole length, but it felt good enough for her purposes. Archibald’s grip loosened, his carnal needs returning as he began thrusting into her. Moans and noises filled the tent, reaching past their encampment, but the two didn’t care; it helped to let loose, and how much more loose could you get? In his last act as Archibald, not his lust, he forced himself to lift Chirpy, confusing her as a wet feeling went up her back. “Not inside… Can’t ruin your life yet, Chirpy…” She didn’t know what he meant, or cared as she ground herself against the rod to her own completion, not even noticing her companion had passed out. With a final climax shaking her body, she went limp on top of her companion, joining him in sleep.

In her dreams, Chirpy’s mind swam with new thoughts from her experiences. All of this had started because of a card game. She’d seen a side of Archibald she didn’t know about, and she couldn’t tell if she liked it or found it too different. Would their relationship change after this night? Her thoughts drifted, as she tossed and turned inside the tent, not noticing Archibald waking up hours before her. She dreamt that their sexual escapades continued, but it was nothing but a dream.

Chirpy awoke to the smell of breakfast and the chirping of wild birds. She sat up, realizing she had been wrapped up in blankets, her clothes lay next to her. She wiped her eyes and stood up, slipping back into her casual gear, noticing she had also been slightly dressed in her sleep. “Archi? Are you out here?” She noticed her friend hunched over the fire, stick in hand with a plucked bird on the end of it. She ran over to him, draping herself over him for a hug, accidentally startling him awake. “Wait, you were asleep?”

He let out a small chuckle. “I was up a bit late after… last night.” He looked somewhat embarrassed and ashamed. “You were out like a light, so I cleaned us up, then made sure our noise didn’t attract any unwanted attention.” He pulled out another skewered chunk of meat, its source unknown. “Hope you slept well.”

“I did. Last night was… something else.” She smiled. “Not something I’d not do again, but hey, I enjoyed it. Didn’t know about that side of you, Archi.” Her words made him wince a bit. “What, I say something wrong?”

“Chirpy, I’m a paladin.” He let out a tired sigh, his tone apologetic, something she didn’t get. “I thought becoming one would free me from those needs. I guess not, however. I apologize.” With that, he passed her the roasted bird. “I didn’t mean to use you like that.. Now, eat up, we got a long walk ahead of us.”

“Okay, but look, don’t be sorry, please? I don’t know anything about this whole paladin thing but it was fun. You gotta not stress so much. Live a little, you know?” She took a bite of the bird, smiling. “Besides, you’re acting like a dad, and considering last night…” He shot her a look. “What? I’m not wrong. You really know how to treat a bird.” He facepalmed as she let out a laugh. “We don’t gotta tell the rest of the group if it makes you uneasy.”

“Thank you. Next time, if you do something like that, please do it with someone you love. And do your research…” Archibald scratched his chin hair, feeling old saying that.

“But I do love you, Archi.” Chirpy’s tone was more friendly, but he felt himself heat up.

“Not like that Chirpy. Like… Romantically. I don’t have to spell it out, do I?” He held his waterskin to his lips, gulping loudly.

“Oh. You mean like Moon and Hilda?” She tossed the remains of the bird she didn’t eat into the fire.

“Yes. Yes, like them…” He had a brief pause, before turning towards her, puzzled. “Wait, you’re interested in women?”

“Gods Archi, you’re so awkward sober!” She gently slapped him as he laughed, she hid her face in her feathers.

“What, I’m just curious? If you were-” He was cut off as she raised her wing over his face.

“ENOUGH! LET’S-” she lowered her wing, clearing her throat. “Let’s just pack up and go. No more dad jokes, please… Each one feels painful.

“Fine, fine. Let’s go.” He tussled her hair, his face beaming. “But remember, I’m always here for you.”

“Thanks, Archi. I really appreciate it.” Returning his smile, they began to pack up their camp, ready for whatever shenanigans the two’d encounter.
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