{"submission_id":"2708957","keywords":[{"keyword_id":"21443","keyword_name":"brown fur","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"3809"},{"keyword_id":"5931","keyword_name":"brown hair","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"2094"},{"keyword_id":"24302","keyword_name":"brown shirt","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"3"},{"keyword_id":"303","keyword_name":"canine","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"138524"},{"keyword_id":"88151","keyword_name":"cream fur","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"376"},{"keyword_id":"653874","keyword_name":"czechoslovakian vlcak","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"1"},{"keyword_id":"173078","keyword_name":"czechoslovakian wolfdog","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"7"},{"keyword_id":"26541","keyword_name":"defeated","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"310"},{"keyword_id":"3","keyword_name":"dog","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"125795"},{"keyword_id":"165","keyword_name":"male","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"933089"},{"keyword_id":"53745","keyword_name":"numb","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"21"},{"keyword_id":"1862","keyword_name":"shirt","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"7114"},{"keyword_id":"17278","keyword_name":"simple background","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"8761"},{"keyword_id":"2492","keyword_name":"solo","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"72463"},{"keyword_id":"2162","keyword_name":"t-shirt","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"1787"},{"keyword_id":"31105","keyword_name":"venting","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"156"}],"hidden":"f","scraps":"f","favorite":"f","favorites_count":"1","create_datetime":"2022-05-06 01:46:19.038337+02","create_datetime_usertime":"06 May 2022 01:46 CEST","last_file_update_datetime":"2022-05-06 01:29:18.27138+02","last_file_update_datetime_usertime":"06 May 2022 01:29 CEST","username":"ChunkleChip","user_id":"826797","user_icon_file_name":"233266_ChunkleChip_a86e0ea9e123a45dd63372214ca41884-custom.png","user_icon_url_large":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/usericons/large/233/233266_ChunkleChip_a86e0ea9e123a45dd63372214ca41884-custom.png","user_icon_url_medium":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/usericons/medium/233/233266_ChunkleChip_a86e0ea9e123a45dd63372214ca41884-custom.png","user_icon_url_small":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/usericons/small/233/233266_ChunkleChip_a86e0ea9e123a45dd63372214ca41884-custom.png","file_name":"4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.png","file_url_full":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/full/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.png","file_url_screen":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.png","file_url_preview":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.jpg","thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.jpg","thumbnail_url_large_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783_noncustom.jpg","thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783_noncustom.jpg","thumb_medium_noncustom_x":"80","thumb_medium_noncustom_y":"120","thumb_large_noncustom_x":"133","thumb_large_noncustom_y":"200","thumb_huge_noncustom_x":"200","thumb_huge_noncustom_y":"300","files":[{"file_id":"4012132","file_name":"4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.png","file_url_full":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/full/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.png","file_url_screen":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.png","file_url_preview":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.jpg","mimetype":"image/png","submission_id":"2708957","user_id":"826797","submission_file_order":"0","full_size_x":"853","full_size_y":"1280","screen_size_x":"853","screen_size_y":"1280","preview_size_x":"200","preview_size_y":"300","initial_file_md5":"8e1bf54ee32a8151bd36767a32f448b9","full_file_md5":"2b72e7dd7fb3849ca0da7b7589e39512","large_file_md5":"2b72e7dd7fb3849ca0da7b7589e39512","small_file_md5":"661f65ca620ec50db993e9a02cc8d46d","thumbnail_md5":"79fd07df2639539d0b570d1da741b476","deleted":"f","create_datetime":"2022-05-06 01:29:18.27138+02","create_datetime_usertime":"06 May 2022 01:29 CEST","thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783.jpg","thumbnail_url_large_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783_noncustom.jpg","thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/4012/4012132_ChunkleChip_photo1651725783_noncustom.jpg","thumb_medium_noncustom_x":"80","thumb_medium_noncustom_y":"120","thumb_large_noncustom_x":"133","thumb_large_noncustom_y":"200","thumb_huge_noncustom_x":"200","thumb_huge_noncustom_y":"300"}],"pools":[],"description":"I've been in a sort of chaotic mood these past couple of days. One moment I'll be happily singing along to my music, and the next I'll be talking myself down from a ledge. Things have been extremely hellish these past 2 years, and I just don't know how much more I can take.\n\nNobody in my family, aside from my brother, understands half the shit that goes down in my mind, so they think that I'm sitting in my room all day wasting the days away. My therapist seems very disinterested in seeing me, judging by how last Monday was the 3rd time in 2 months that he's mysteriously called out for no reason.\n\nThe world keeps getting more and more violent as the days pass, and I just want it to stop. Things have never been like this before. So many people are quick to blame technology for emboldening terrible people by allowing them to hide behind a screen, and it's not fair because I have met tonnes of terrific people who I wouldn't have been able to had it not been for the internet.\n\nMy main problem is that I don't know how to open up to people without feeling the immediate urge to run away. I find a group of people that I get along with well, then a couple weeks later subconsciously and frantically scavenge for a reason to disassociate with them. Most of the times, the people I find who I can safely call friends feel betrayed when I do this, but I just can't help it. Even if they understand the eccentricities of my chaotic mind, they can't help but feel let down. That's why I can't and don't make friends.\n\nWhy am I writing this here? I don't know, but I feel like I'm going to have another panic attack if I stop typing. Guess I'm just going to have to stop typing and see.","description_bbcode_parsed":"I've been in a sort of chaotic mood these past couple of days. One moment I'll be happily singing along to my music, and the next I'll be talking myself down from a ledge. Things have been extremely hellish these past 2 years, and I just don't know how much more I can take.
Nobody in my family, aside from my brother, understands half the shit that goes down in my mind, so they think that I'm sitting in my room all day wasting the days away. My therapist seems very disinterested in seeing me, judging by how last Monday was the 3rd time in 2 months that he's mysteriously called out for no reason.
The world keeps getting more and more violent as the days pass, and I just want it to stop. Things have never been like this before. So many people are quick to blame technology for emboldening terrible people by allowing them to hide behind a screen, and it's not fair because I have met tonnes of terrific people who I wouldn't have been able to had it not been for the internet.
My main problem is that I don't know how to open up to people without feeling the immediate urge to run away. I find a group of people that I get along with well, then a couple weeks later subconsciously and frantically scavenge for a reason to disassociate with them. Most of the times, the people I find who I can safely call friends feel betrayed when I do this, but I just can't help it. Even if they understand the eccentricities of my chaotic mind, they can't help but feel let down. That's why I can't and don't make friends.
Why am I writing this here? I don't know, but I feel like I'm going to have another panic attack if I stop typing. Guess I'm just going to have to stop typing and see.","writing":"","writing_bbcode_parsed":"","pools_count":0,"title":"Current Mood","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"image/png","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"0","rating_name":"General","ratings":[],"submission_type_id":"1","type_name":"Picture/Pinup","guest_block":"t","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"0","views":"7"}