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"description_bbcode_parsed": "If you're following my feed, you probably know about the great Christmas Lapdragon Surprise of last year, and how we're planning on topping that this year with the Reindeer program.
Our Reindeer are getting a very special version of the Jellybean implants; while they wean our volunteers off testosterone gently just like the normal ones, they continue to provide specialty steroid hormones to help our volunteers maintain muscle mass and tone for between one and two months, and the Warm Happy Tingly Feelings continues to be released for just as long, ensuring our customers get to see how a Christmas Lapdragon acts whenever they should meet our volunteers. That's fine for intact volunteers, but we've had quite a bit of interest from existing lapdragons, so we decided to make a second variant of the implant without any testosterone that can be placed with a simple injection.
I borrowed a phone from our newest nurse - a four-foot-nothing elf fresh out of training - to take a quick snap of how it works. A little painkiller, one needle, quick and easy and painless. And Marie may look nervous, but I speak from experience when I say her technique with a needle is marvelous.
Bonus Dragon Fact: Like elves, dragons are both universal transplant donors and recipients. Unlike elf limbs, dragon limbs are quite obvious on a human transplant recipient, though internal organs are pretty well undetectable. Some will have these transplanted on electively and cosmetically, others because the body bank ran out of cosmetic matches, and others because they just lost an arm to a chainsaw accident and why not? (Some of these will blame painkillers after the fact, whether or not it’s true. The limb will grow into the stump a few inches, and then regenration will slow markedly; it’s debateable whether it actually stops, or whether it continues to grow and replace the host’s tissue gradually as the host tissue ages. These operations haven’t been happening very long, and there’s no long-term cohort to study yet. ",
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