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Dwayne had to park in the parking lot of the gas station across the street.  \n\nIt was the longest signal change Dwayne had ever had to wait through, and even when he got the all clear, and was carefully hobbling across the road, he still almost got run over by a massive 80s thunderbird. He had to dive, rolling over the sidewalk on the 'safe' side of the street, feeling his balls compress painfully between his thighs. He clamped his hands around the tight denim bulge of his crotch, fighting back tears as his innards rolled with the crushing pain.\n\nAfter a while, it subsided, and the stag carefully, gingerly stepped towards the main entrance doors. There were people, male and female, in orderly uniforms and lab coats, and a few people in biohazard suits. As he approached, he saw that a line had formed, at the entry way door, of antlered and horned men such as himself.\n\nHe had to wait in line?\n\nSigh.\n\nHe moved to the back of the line, standing behind an antelope who somehow was still managing to prance from side to side, despite having two mangoes dangling between his legs. Most of the males had removed their clothing, and a squirrel had even offered to take Dwayne's, but he found the confining, squeezing feel of his pants to be almost soothing. \n\nA shriek of shock and a strange sound, a visceral organic sound, echoed from inside the school. Dwayne shivered, and pushed against the antelope, urging the line to move faster. Had someone exploded? Could this be real?\n\nThe line moved as fast as a bunch of aching, fat-nutted bovids could move, and when Dwayne finally got to the front, a smiling, perk bunny nurse pushed a set of papers to him.\n\n\"I don't know if my insurance is up to date,\" he murmured, kicking himself for not having sent in his premium on time.\n\n\"That's perfectly fine - this is not your typical check up! The state is going to pay for any proceedures and medication that you receive today.\"\n\n\"... wow. Really? It's that bad?\" Dwayne glanced around him, at the other males, realizing just how many there were here. This was only one of the local high schools, too. \n\n\"Hurry up buddy, it's more than just your balls on the line!\" snarled a ram from behind, pushing at Dwayne's shoulder. It nudged his crotch into the desk, and his head swooned at the blossom of fresh pain. He had to hold back what was left of his lunch. \n\nHe scribbled his name on the consent form, his adress, his phone number, and then he was told to take a seat. A bunch of chairs had been set up, and Dwayne carefully stepped around the ones that were already full. The place reeked of ball musk and fear and pain. It wasn't pleasant.\n\n\"Hooves, shit, it got you too, huh?\" It was Blammo, the goat delicately cradling his massively swollen goatnuts in his lap. Dwayne sat down next to him, his eyes shifting from his friend's naked testicles to the.. pile of gore next to him.\n\n\"Yeah.\" He said, swallowing hard. He was so thirsty. \"Umm... shit, what is that, Blammo?\" He nodded to the empty chair with the pile of crud underneath it.\n\n\"Oh, man, I saw it happen, you know Shims, that yoga instructor down at the gym? Dude was like, passed out, leaningn against me, and kind of moaning in his sleep, really weird stuff.\" Blammo stroked his balls, as if that would help to soothe them, licking his lips as he recounted the experience.\n\n\"I didn't want to wake him up, because, I mean, what would we talk about, right? But his nuts, man, they looked really weird, like, they were twitching, and getting really dark, and stuff. And then, all of a sudden, he  sits bolt upright, and just shrrrrrieks like someone is setting him on fire, you know!? And then BOOM! His balls, they just..\"\n\n\"They exploded?\" Dwayne asked. His nuts seemed to convulse, and that dull ache returned, throbbing more powerfully than before.\n\n\"Yeah. Like, all over me. I had like, just washed that buff's nuts off of me, and now- oh, hey, wow, do you think that guy infected us?\" \n\n\"Well... he must have, I mean, I don't know how else we could have both gotten infected.\"\n\n\"Yeah. They gave me a friggin' toilet wipe to clean up with. Ugh. I'm gonna smell like that guy's nut for days.\"\n\n\"I feel for ya, man.\"\n\nThe bull sitting on the other side of the empty chair was called, and he stood up, his balls so grotesquely swollen that it made the stag's eyes boggle. They were each the size of Blammo's head, if not more, and seemed to nearly drag along the ground as the bull shuffled into the clinic to be treated.\n\n\"So what are they doing in there? They have a cure?\"\n\n\"I dunno, man, guys keep going in, I guess they're giving some sort of anti inflammatory or something?\"\n\n\"I heard they're doing forced milkings,\" said an elk sitting across the aisle from them. \"Like, hooking vacuum tubes up and just pulling the cum out before it makes your balls explode.\"\n\nDwayne bit his tongue, but nodded. Cum was, of course, stored in the prostate, not the testicles. Whatever was making their nuts swell, it was probably some sort of inflammation, not seed. But hey, if thinking that made some of the guys sit there quietly, patiently...\n\n\"OH GOD! IT'S HAPPENING!\" \n\nBrought out of his reverie, Dwayne stared at his friend. Blammo's back was arched, his hands desperately trying to hold his balls together. They had turned a terrifyingly dark maroon, not black, but nearly, purplish and glossy and shiny. They were trembling between the goat's fingers.\n\n\"SOMEONE!! HELP ME!\" the goat bleated, and Dwayne could only watch as they swelled up even further.  There was a strange crackling sound. Dwayne could look away.\n\nDwayne remembered where he had heard that sound before, as his friend and teammate's scrotum exploded in front of him. He had been to a Gallagher show, back in the 90s, and the sound of a watermelon's juices and pieces splattering on the floor - that was the sound that they had made.\n\nBlammo's hand had fortunately spared the stag from the bulk of his explosion, but his body was covered in pieces of nut and seed. A peculiar scent was coming from his ruined nuts, not a sickly scent, not a rotten scent, it was a scent he knew but couldn't place. He looked like he had been part of a bukakke party gone wrong, sprawled out, exhausted, his mouth slack.\n\n\"My balls..... my balls....\"\n\n\"Mister Dwayne Hooveson?\" said a smiling chipmunk attendant, and Dwayne shot his hand up into the air.\n\nThank God he was going to get help!\n\n- - - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - -- - -- - -\n\nPart Two of the \"Exploding Hoofers\" comic I commissioned from the amazingly talented and equally devious :iconLenexwants:\n\nThe third page will probably be posted tomorrow. :3\n\nWhat will happen next??? Will out poor hero be helped in time, or is he gonna be leaking bits of balls down his pantsleg on his way back to the car?\n\nStay Tuned!\n",
  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'><a href=\"https://www.furaffinity.net/view/12374997/\" rel=\"nofollow\">First Page!</a><br /><br />Dwayne was having a hard time getting a place to park in the high school. His groin was dully aching, an unpleasant throb that kept focussing on any one thing almost impossible. His crotch had ballooned out to an embarassingly, almost comically large size, his nutmelons swelling more with each passing minute. He had seen several accidents on the way, and people were driving over sidewalks, the wrong way up streets, it was just madness.<br /><br />For the first time in his life, he would have killed someone to be able to park in a handicapped spot, but the whole area around the entry way was crammed with cars, left idling, flashers running. Dwayne had to park in the parking lot of the gas station across the street.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /><br />It was the longest signal change Dwayne had ever had to wait through, and even when he got the all clear, and was carefully hobbling across the road, he still almost got run over by a massive 80s thunderbird. He had to dive, rolling over the sidewalk on the &#039;safe&#039; side of the street, feeling his balls compress painfully between his thighs. He clamped his hands around the tight denim bulge of his crotch, fighting back tears as his innards rolled with the crushing pain.<br /><br />After a while, it subsided, and the stag carefully, gingerly stepped towards the main entrance doors. There were people, male and female, in orderly uniforms and lab coats, and a few people in biohazard suits. As he approached, he saw that a line had formed, at the entry way door, of antlered and horned men such as himself.<br /><br />He had to wait in line?<br /><br />Sigh.<br /><br />He moved to the back of the line, standing behind an antelope who somehow was still managing to prance from side to side, despite having two mangoes dangling between his legs. Most of the males had removed their clothing, and a squirrel had even offered to take Dwayne&#039;s, but he found the confining, squeezing feel of his pants to be almost soothing. <br /><br />A shriek of shock and a strange sound, a visceral organic sound, echoed from inside the school. Dwayne shivered, and pushed against the antelope, urging the line to move faster. Had someone exploded? Could this be real?<br /><br />The line moved as fast as a bunch of aching, fat-nutted bovids could move, and when Dwayne finally got to the front, a smiling, perk bunny nurse pushed a set of papers to him.<br /><br />&quot;I don&#039;t know if my insurance is up to date,&quot; he murmured, kicking himself for not having sent in his premium on time.<br /><br />&quot;That&#039;s perfectly fine - this is not your typical check up! The state is going to pay for any proceedures and medication that you receive today.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;... wow. Really? It&#039;s that bad?&quot; Dwayne glanced around him, at the other males, realizing just how many there were here. This was only one of the local high schools, too. <br /><br />&quot;Hurry up buddy, it&#039;s more than just your balls on the line!&quot; snarled a ram from behind, pushing at Dwayne&#039;s shoulder. It nudged his crotch into the desk, and his head swooned at the blossom of fresh pain. He had to hold back what was left of his lunch. <br /><br />He scribbled his name on the consent form, his adress, his phone number, and then he was told to take a seat. A bunch of chairs had been set up, and Dwayne carefully stepped around the ones that were already full. The place reeked of ball musk and fear and pain. It wasn&#039;t pleasant.<br /><br />&quot;Hooves, shit, it got you too, huh?&quot; It was Blammo, the goat delicately cradling his massively swollen goatnuts in his lap. Dwayne sat down next to him, his eyes shifting from his friend&#039;s naked testicles to the.. pile of gore next to him.<br /><br />&quot;Yeah.&quot; He said, swallowing hard. He was so thirsty. &quot;Umm... shit, what is that, Blammo?&quot; He nodded to the empty chair with the pile of crud underneath it.<br /><br />&quot;Oh, man, I saw it happen, you know Shims, that yoga instructor down at the gym? Dude was like, passed out, leaningn against me, and kind of moaning in his sleep, really weird stuff.&quot; Blammo stroked his balls, as if that would help to soothe them, licking his lips as he recounted the experience.<br /><br />&quot;I didn&#039;t want to wake him up, because, I mean, what would we talk about, right? But his nuts, man, they looked really weird, like, they were twitching, and getting really dark, and stuff. And then, all of a sudden, he&nbsp;&nbsp;sits bolt upright, and just shrrrrrieks like someone is setting him on fire, you know!? And then BOOM! His balls, they just..&quot;<br /><br />&quot;They exploded?&quot; Dwayne asked. His nuts seemed to convulse, and that dull ache returned, throbbing more powerfully than before.<br /><br />&quot;Yeah. Like, all over me. I had like, just washed that buff&#039;s nuts off of me, and now- oh, hey, wow, do you think that guy infected us?&quot; <br /><br />&quot;Well... he must have, I mean, I don&#039;t know how else we could have both gotten infected.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Yeah. They gave me a friggin&#039; toilet wipe to clean up with. Ugh. I&#039;m gonna smell like that guy&#039;s nut for days.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I feel for ya, man.&quot;<br /><br />The bull sitting on the other side of the empty chair was called, and he stood up, his balls so grotesquely swollen that it made the stag&#039;s eyes boggle. They were each the size of Blammo&#039;s head, if not more, and seemed to nearly drag along the ground as the bull shuffled into the clinic to be treated.<br /><br />&quot;So what are they doing in there? They have a cure?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I dunno, man, guys keep going in, I guess they&#039;re giving some sort of anti inflammatory or something?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I heard they&#039;re doing forced milkings,&quot; said an elk sitting across the aisle from them. &quot;Like, hooking vacuum tubes up and just pulling the cum out before it makes your balls explode.&quot;<br /><br />Dwayne bit his tongue, but nodded. Cum was, of course, stored in the prostate, not the testicles. Whatever was making their nuts swell, it was probably some sort of inflammation, not seed. But hey, if thinking that made some of the guys sit there quietly, patiently...<br /><br />&quot;OH GOD! IT&#039;S HAPPENING!&quot; <br /><br />Brought out of his reverie, Dwayne stared at his friend. Blammo&#039;s back was arched, his hands desperately trying to hold his balls together. They had turned a terrifyingly dark maroon, not black, but nearly, purplish and glossy and shiny. They were trembling between the goat&#039;s fingers.<br /><br />&quot;SOMEONE!! HELP ME!&quot; the goat bleated, and Dwayne could only watch as they swelled up even further.&nbsp;&nbsp;There was a strange crackling sound. Dwayne could look away.<br /><br />Dwayne remembered where he had heard that sound before, as his friend and teammate&#039;s scrotum exploded in front of him. He had been to a Gallagher show, back in the 90s, and the sound of a watermelon&#039;s juices and pieces splattering on the floor - that was the sound that they had made.<br /><br />Blammo&#039;s hand had fortunately spared the stag from the bulk of his explosion, but his body was covered in pieces of nut and seed. A peculiar scent was coming from his ruined nuts, not a sickly scent, not a rotten scent, it was a scent he knew but couldn&#039;t place. He looked like he had been part of a bukakke party gone wrong, sprawled out, exhausted, his mouth slack.<br /><br />&quot;My balls..... my balls....&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Mister Dwayne Hooveson?&quot; said a smiling chipmunk attendant, and Dwayne shot his hand up into the air.<br /><br />Thank God he was going to get help!<br /><br />- - - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - -- - - -- - -- - -<br /><br />Part Two of the &quot;Exploding Hoofers&quot; comic I commissioned from the amazingly talented and equally devious :iconLenexwants:<br /><br />The third page will probably be posted tomorrow. :3<br /><br />What will happen next??? Will out poor hero be helped in time, or is he gonna be leaking bits of balls down his pantsleg on his way back to the car?<br /><br />Stay Tuned!<br /></span>",
  "writing": "",
  "writing_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'></span>",
  "pools_count": 4,
  "title": "Orchiedema Epidemic! Part Two",
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  "type_name": "Comic",
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