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"description": "This is a continuation of story that I wrote when I was 13. Feel free to leave comments.",
"description_bbcode_parsed": "This is a continuation of story that I wrote when I was 13. Feel free to leave comments.",
"writing": " Air whipped around her face, pulling tendrils of hair out of its tail, curling and feathering over her face. The little log cabin that had been so perfect, so picturesque when she was 13 stood still against the cliff edge. It showed its age but held against those years, like a military soldier against the railing force of the enemy. The trees were bigger, limbs floating along in the gusting wind. Her ears perked up at the rustling, singing sound of the air as it passed through the trees and over the cabin's roof, along the ground, kicking up leaves. \n Years.... So many years. So many changes. So many hurts. So many fears. So many exciting new hopes and dreams. All of them could have ended here. Fourteen and a half years. All of it could have ended. Never begun. Never happened... If that moment fourteen and a half years ago had gone differently. \n Pain so deeply embeded in the the soul had been ripping through the young cougar for so long. Not knowing what depression was or how badly she struggled with it her emotions had dragged her down further and further. The scars on her skin would be a permanent reminder of her fight. \n She had stood on the edge of the cliff, 13 years old and feeling like the wieght of the world's problems were on her shoulders. It was cold. So bone chillingly cold. Just the thought of that day caused her throat to constrict in a panic attack. Celtic closed her eyes, took multiple deep breaths and waited out the panic response. Waited out the suffocation. Just because she fought them every day didn't mean that she had to let it take over her life. \n\n Her mind flew back to that day.... \n\n The cold....\n\n The despair. \n\n Her inner thighs and wrists had been bandaged. Those bandages had hidden the blood leaking trails a silver blade had caused. The blackouts that accompanied her cutting in the future had not started yet, but when she fell that low in her mind, the edges of her vision had already started to blacken... Evidence that her mind was on the way to checking out for good.\n She wore only jeans, and a hoodie. Her fur kept her warm enough, but she could feel the cold trying to seep in deeper through her foot-pads. Sobs raked her whole body, which was thin and frail as a teenager. Her mind raced with questions... All of them beginning with \"why\"? \n Her knees gave way and she fell to them on the cold ground. Wind whipped around her, gripping her body like deadly claws. She just knew they would rip theough her body any moment. \n The metal under her fingertips was warm. It had been inside her hoodie front pocket, held close to her body. It fit perfectly in her hands. Long barrel. Wooden grips. Bright cylinder that reflected the afternoon sunlight with a glittering appeal. Her body bowed around it, the mental and emotional anguish breaking her in two. She knew what she had to do. She had known for days. Had known there was no other choice. Everyone would be better off without her. Everyone would be happy when she was gone. She was a burden to her parents. A burden to her family. A burden to everything around her. If she was gone, then the pain would be gone. If the pain was gone, then she could breathe again.... But she wouldn't ever beathe again. This was her last stand againt life. She had failed and it was time to face the facts. Face her future.\n The barrel came up, resting between her lips, tapping the roof of her mouth. She finally felt like she was doing something right. She knew then that her actions were what everyone wanted. If she would just pull the trigger, then it would all be over. Her eyes closed and she sent out a silent plea to anything that would listen. She pleaded that she would just go, that she would find peace beyond this life. \n A hand flew infront of her face and the gun was ripped from her lips and hands with enough force to hurt. \n \"What the fuck are you doing?!\" The female voice cried. \n Her face looked up into the eyes of a woman who had become a sister by heart, if not by blood, and the woman's blood father stood silently behind her. The two felines were wrapped up more warmly than herself, and the looks in their eyes were firece and pissed.\n \"This is my choice!\" She screamed at them. \"Let me go!\" \n Her body slid down to the ground as her big sister walked away. The man who was more a father to her than her blood father crouched next to her on the leaves, balanced perfectly, his ears pricked forward in worry.\n \"I can not tell you what to do, but know that you would leave behind all of us that love you. We would be devestated. You may not be my child by blood, but you are my child anyway. Do not make me have to bury my own child. No one should have to bury their child.\" \n He stood and picked up the gun, pocketing the device and walking away. He knew that she wouldn't do anything. He had to trust that she would make the right decision, even if she was tempted.\n Fourteen and a half years later she stood in the same spot. This time, Spring winds were soft arms that wrapped her in comfort. A smile played across her lips as she looked out over the water. A mist so gentle her soul sighed in peace washed the tears from her face over the memory. \n \"Are you okay?\" Strong arms wrapped her up. He had helped her find peace. He had helped her find her inner self that she had tried for so long to fight. \n \"I think so. Memories sometimes just reach out and drag you into the past. Drag you back to where you don't want to go.\"\n She felt him nod against her shoulder, his body pressed to her back. She was unconciously rubbing the scars on her inner wrists. The last time she had cut he had come home, seen her and given her an ultimatum. \"I wont let our future children find their mother hurting herself. This has to stop. No excuses. No ignoring the problem. You need help.\" She had seen a depth of love in his eyes that night that had seared her deep into her soul. \n She had not hurt herself since then. Five and a half years had passed since then, and she had kept the promise she made him. She had leaned on him, on her family, blood and non, and gotten through it. She had found out how to fight the dark. Fight the despair. \n She. Had. Won. \n Now she turned in his arms and smiled, seeing her entire future in his eyes. She grinned wider when she felt his body respond to her nearness. \"Oh, really?\" She laughed. \n He grinned down at her. \"That's what you do to me, baby.\"\n Wrapped in each other on a cliffside, she was able to lock the door on that fateful day, but not forget. For that day was when she had made a decision that had changed her future forever. She never would have become his, never felt this depth of love and devotion had that day gone differently. She would have lost out on so much. Lost out on everything she had become. She fell into his kiss, his lips searing hers with his arms tight around her, protecting her, even from herself.\n",
"writing_bbcode_parsed": " Air whipped around her face, pulling tendrils of hair out of its tail, curling and feathering over her face. The little log cabin that had been so perfect, so picturesque when she was 13 stood still against the cliff edge. It showed its age but held against those years, like a military soldier against the railing force of the enemy. The trees were bigger, limbs floating along in the gusting wind. Her ears perked up at the rustling, singing sound of the air as it passed through the trees and over the cabin's roof, along the ground, kicking up leaves.
Years.... So many years. So many changes. So many hurts. So many fears. So many exciting new hopes and dreams. All of them could have ended here. Fourteen and a half years. All of it could have ended. Never begun. Never happened... If that moment fourteen and a half years ago had gone differently.
Pain so deeply embeded in the the soul had been ripping through the young cougar for so long. Not knowing what depression was or how badly she struggled with it her emotions had dragged her down further and further. The scars on her skin would be a permanent reminder of her fight.
She had stood on the edge of the cliff, 13 years old and feeling like the wieght of the world's problems were on her shoulders. It was cold. So bone chillingly cold. Just the thought of that day caused her throat to constrict in a panic attack. Celtic closed her eyes, took multiple deep breaths and waited out the panic response. Waited out the suffocation. Just because she fought them every day didn't mean that she had to let it take over her life.
Her mind flew back to that day....
The cold....
The despair.
Her inner thighs and wrists had been bandaged. Those bandages had hidden the blood leaking trails a silver blade had caused. The blackouts that accompanied her cutting in the future had not started yet, but when she fell that low in her mind, the edges of her vision had already started to blacken... Evidence that her mind was on the way to checking out for good.
She wore only jeans, and a hoodie. Her fur kept her warm enough, but she could feel the cold trying to seep in deeper through her foot-pads. Sobs raked her whole body, which was thin and frail as a teenager. Her mind raced with questions... All of them beginning with "why"?
Her knees gave way and she fell to them on the cold ground. Wind whipped around her, gripping her body like deadly claws. She just knew they would rip theough her body any moment.
The metal under her fingertips was warm. It had been inside her hoodie front pocket, held close to her body. It fit perfectly in her hands. Long barrel. Wooden grips. Bright cylinder that reflected the afternoon sunlight with a glittering appeal. Her body bowed around it, the mental and emotional anguish breaking her in two. She knew what she had to do. She had known for days. Had known there was no other choice. Everyone would be better off without her. Everyone would be happy when she was gone. She was a burden to her parents. A burden to her family. A burden to everything around her. If she was gone, then the pain would be gone. If the pain was gone, then she could breathe again.... But she wouldn't ever beathe again. This was her last stand againt life. She had failed and it was time to face the facts. Face her future.
The barrel came up, resting between her lips, tapping the roof of her mouth. She finally felt like she was doing something right. She knew then that her actions were what everyone wanted. If she would just pull the trigger, then it would all be over. Her eyes closed and she sent out a silent plea to anything that would listen. She pleaded that she would just go, that she would find peace beyond this life.
A hand flew infront of her face and the gun was ripped from her lips and hands with enough force to hurt.
"What the fuck are you doing?!" The female voice cried.
Her face looked up into the eyes of a woman who had become a sister by heart, if not by blood, and the woman's blood father stood silently behind her. The two felines were wrapped up more warmly than herself, and the looks in their eyes were firece and pissed.
"This is my choice!" She screamed at them. "Let me go!"
Her body slid down to the ground as her big sister walked away. The man who was more a father to her than her blood father crouched next to her on the leaves, balanced perfectly, his ears pricked forward in worry.
"I can not tell you what to do, but know that you would leave behind all of us that love you. We would be devestated. You may not be my child by blood, but you are my child anyway. Do not make me have to bury my own child. No one should have to bury their child."
He stood and picked up the gun, pocketing the device and walking away. He knew that she wouldn't do anything. He had to trust that she would make the right decision, even if she was tempted.
Fourteen and a half years later she stood in the same spot. This time, Spring winds were soft arms that wrapped her in comfort. A smile played across her lips as she looked out over the water. A mist so gentle her soul sighed in peace washed the tears from her face over the memory.
"Are you okay?" Strong arms wrapped her up. He had helped her find peace. He had helped her find her inner self that she had tried for so long to fight.
"I think so. Memories sometimes just reach out and drag you into the past. Drag you back to where you don't want to go."
She felt him nod against her shoulder, his body pressed to her back. She was unconciously rubbing the scars on her inner wrists. The last time she had cut he had come home, seen her and given her an ultimatum. "I wont let our future children find their mother hurting herself. This has to stop. No excuses. No ignoring the problem. You need help." She had seen a depth of love in his eyes that night that had seared her deep into her soul.
She had not hurt herself since then. Five and a half years had passed since then, and she had kept the promise she made him. She had leaned on him, on her family, blood and non, and gotten through it. She had found out how to fight the dark. Fight the despair.
She. Had. Won.
Now she turned in his arms and smiled, seeing her entire future in his eyes. She grinned wider when she felt his body respond to her nearness. "Oh, really?" She laughed.
He grinned down at her. "That's what you do to me, baby."
Wrapped in each other on a cliffside, she was able to lock the door on that fateful day, but not forget. For that day was when she had made a decision that had changed her future forever. She never would have become his, never felt this depth of love and devotion had that day gone differently. She would have lost out on so much. Lost out on everything she had become. She fell into his kiss, his lips searing hers with his arms tight around her, protecting her, even from herself.
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