Cumdrops on noses and tears on kittens,
Hot copper kettles that warm glowing bottoms,
Wriggling packages tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cream covered pussies and harsh nettle panties,
Puppies in poverty, beaten in shanties,
Little girls pulled by their catheter rings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with bruises and slashes,
Snowflakes that settle on freezing cold gashes,
Sender white enemas, chili that stings,
These are a few of my favorite things

When the tooth bites
When the whip stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad