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This is rough draft of the first chapter of my book, summer fireflies. This is not the final version so there may be inconsistencies with said final cut, if you have any questions pm me!\n\n\nDates with question marks are flashbacks or dreams.\n\nCW/ Summer fireflies is an intense book full of misery and despair. If you aren’t in a good place to read a story with themes of, suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders and just general bad vibes then you might want to look elsewhere. There are lighter moments but in general the theme will consistently be depressing.\n\n\n\nIn some places you may find that memories are scorched into their very surfaces, this is the case for a little thrice rebuilt house of the beloved Parsley Belladonna. Once a home for two young brothers who were forced to look out for themselves, now a prison for one. A place of shattered memories and tortured anguish. The summer fireflies dance in the shadow of smoke.\n\n","description_bbcode_parsed":"Hello! This is rough draft of the first chapter of my book, summer fireflies. This is not the final version so there may be inconsistencies with said final cut, if you have any questions pm me!


Dates with question marks are flashbacks or dreams.

CW/ Summer fireflies is an intense book full of misery and despair. If you aren’t in a good place to read a story with themes of, suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders and just general bad vibes then you might want to look elsewhere. There are lighter moments but in general the theme will consistently be depressing.



In some places you may find that memories are scorched into their very surfaces, this is the case for a little thrice rebuilt house of the beloved Parsley Belladonna. Once a home for two young brothers who were forced to look out for themselves, now a prison for one. A place of shattered memories and tortured anguish. The summer fireflies dance in the shadow of smoke.

","writing":"“We will never forget you, let your light gleam forever more amongst the stars.” - line two of Parsley Belladonna's eulogy. \n\n\nJune 20 20XX\n\n\nNETTLE \n\nThe sun was held high in the sky, bearing down on the enfeebled plant life with its blazing tendrils of light. Summer was upon us again, though nowadays, it's far less exciting. No more long summer breaks, camping trips to the creek with friends, No more sleepovers. Though it's really best not to linger on those sorta things i've found. Reminiscing on the past doesn’t get you anywhere, and where I am now is my dead end job at esquepress. It’s usually rather peaceful this time of day, the morning coffee rush has passed and the highschoolers have gone off on their various mischiefs. So i'm left to twiddle with my quills, staring off into space. That is of course until.. \n\nA loud ding rings out through the store shaking me awake. “Welcome to esquepress, what can I get you today?” I droned out in my usual work tone, looking down at the register, preparing to take the customers order. I wasn’t expecting WHO exactly it was however.\n “Hm think I'll take 2 lattes, one with cinnamon and one plain.” Said a vaguely familiar voice. That order too, reminds me of the order that I used to get with..\n“Oh! Jax it’s you? Jeez sorry I didn’t notice. Always get so zoned out working here.” I said fixing up my posture, exiting the zombie mode my brain gets set to while working the register. \n“The one and only, been a while hasn’t it?” He remarked, shrugging his shoulders a bit with his usual sly grin. “Awhile” is a bit of an understatement I'd say, or maybe it's exactly right I'm not sure. Either way it had been 8 years since he moved away and here he is now. \n“Yeah yeah it has really hasn’t it? What brings you back around your home town all the sudden? Sorta figured you wouldn’t be able to stand coming back.” I asked while punching in the order, sending it to the back. \n“Didn’t have too much of a choice, college fell through and Ive basically been living paycheck to paycheck. Then my ol’ grandpa kicked the bucket and apparently most of the will went to me. More specifically the house and a huge sum of money.” He explained in a relaxed yet weary tone, it must have been a long trip.\n “Huh.. well that sucks I think? Least you got somewhere to live then? Sorry for your loss, though. Must be rough.” After saying that the drinks came out, probably a good time for a break and some catch up. Exiting the counter the two of us sat in a quiet booth nestled in the back. \n“Ehh.. I try not to let it affect me. He was old, and I barely knew him. Really I'm more happy than anything else. I got a house and security and that's more than I could really ask for you know?” He explained while sipping on his drink. The whole situation felt sorta like a lucid dream, I haven’t really seen anyone from my old group of friends for awhile now and out of nowhere here's one of them, ever since.. that.. we all sorta just drifted apart. At the time it hurt of course but at this point I just accepted that.”\n “Yeah.. I suppose that's fair. Guess it isn't all that important if you never really knew him. It's great you got a house again though, even if it's a little bit.. morbid?” Pausing for a minute, the two of us just sat there for a moment. It's a strange moment, after so long things have seemingly just fallen right back into place. It felt too easy, far too simple. Breaking the silence, I spoke “So.. you see anyone else? Like from before?” \nJax shifted in his seat, his eyes flick back and forth for a moment before responding. “Oh uh yeah. Well sorta…”\n\nJune 19 20XX\n\n\nJAX \n\nIt was a long drive to my hometown, never in my life did I ever expect I'd be coming back to this old place but some old ass relative finally croaked, which is good timing given my current living situation. Either way I guess it's not all bad, the place im moving into is some huge ranch which is nice. Driving by this all is.. certainly something though. I haven’t thought about this town pretty much since I moved out, and there's a weird sense of nostalgia despite that. I'm not sure what drove me to do it but as I was passing by an old playground I decided to stop by, I guess just to relax and have some lunch. Exiting my beat old beat up truck, I wandered over to some picnic tables with a burger I picked up along the way. It was a beautiful day for sure, those early summer kinds where you can still hang outside without your fur getting burned off, with a slight brisk spring breeze. Maybe the countryside isn't too awful. I thought to myself just enjoying the moment of silence, getting away from the rat race of the city is certainly nice. That silence however wouldn’t last forever, “Hey, do I know you?” A familiar voice rang out through the still air as I turned to see who was addressing me. A tall lizard woman was curiously observing me from a distance, almost scrutinizing my features.\n “Uh.. maybe. Feel like I've seen you before too, name’s Jax.” Her eyes lit up, a slight smile gently went across her face.\n “Woah! Yo seriously? You moved out ages ago, didn’t you? I'm not sure if you remember me but I'm Mizuna, we used to hang out back in highschool. You know, with Juniper and stuff” old memories tingled in the back of my brain as my face lit up on its own as well.\n “Oh shit yeah, that’s wildin’. I'm actually moving back in town believe it or not. Failed out of my classes, got a new place in the outskirts of town” I explained while chomping down on the last bit of my burger, feeling a little better physically.\n “Nothing changed then eh? School was never your strong suit, to be honest I'm surprised you even decided to go to college given how much you hated highschool.” She said in a jokingly mocking tone. \n“Well you know.. things can change. They didn’t. But they could have so I at least wanted to try. I didn't want to be a screw up my whole life.” I remarked in more of a defensive tone than I would have wanted, shit I mean I really tried. I wanted to succeed in college but old habits die hard I guess.\n “Woah woah chill man, I was just messing around. Didn’t think that was a nerve. My bad.” Her words seemed genuinely apologetic but the damage to my sour mood was already done, and perhaps she could tell that from my silence.\n “Er yeah well.. maybe I ought to get going. Sorry about that. Uh hey there’s someone I think you ought to see. Or I guess he might want to see you, you remember thyme right?” I froze there for a moment hearing that name, a flood of memories began washing through my head which I quickly shut off again. Not again.\n “Oh.. uh yeah I remember him. We used to be best buddies. How's he doing nowadays anyhow? Better I'm sure.” I replied hopefully, though a twinge of doubt ran through me as I clutched the old burnt friendship bracelet in my pocket. \n“I think its better if I don’t say anything about it. Same place he’s always lived, can't miss it.” She said, though I wasn’t really listening at that moment. As she walked away I pulled out the old bracelet to stare at it. It wasn’t anything particularly special but for whatever reason I couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how hard I tried to forget. So I left to get in my car, I had to see my friend. One last time couldn’t hurt could it?\n\nJune 19 20XX?\n\n\nTHYME\n\nIt was a warm summer morning as the sunlight streamed through the blinds of the living room. Everyone else was asleep aside from me and my big brother as the two of us sat quietly playing halo on our old Xbox. “Stop shooting me you dweeb, why do you think we never get past the first level?” Parsley said while playfully shoving me aside, both of us dying in the process. Parsley was always gentle with me no matter what. Even when I was mean to him he would never be mean to me back. We continued playing for a while until the others woke up, never actually getting anywhere past the first level. Juniper was the first to wake, stirring in her black and pink sleeping bag. \n“hmph can't you boys be quiet? i'm trying to get some sleep so I can have energy for my soccer game coming up!” She whined half asleep rubbing her eyes. \n“Hm, sorry juni. Can I make it up to you with some blueberry pancakes?” Parsley spoke in a soft, almost motherly tone. Her eyes immediately shot open in response, jumping up and trampling over jax as she ran through to the kitchen.\n “Ouch! You jerk you stepped on me! That hurt.. Ugh.. Parsley, juniper stepped on me!\" Jax growled while pulling himself up and crossing his arms. Parsley chuckled while getting the pancake mix out. \n“Come now juniper, you aren’t gonna get any pancakes until you apologize to jax. What did I tell you about being careful where you step? You wouldn’t like it if he stepped on you now would you?” Parsley scolded, though his voice never was raised. On these summer days he was always watching us, making sure we wouldn’t fight and keeping us in line. He was everything to us.\n “It was his fault for lying there but.. ok.” She turned to face him, though avoiding eye contact. “I'm sorry for stepping on you. I was just excited is all.” Jax turned his nose up a little in a pouty expression.\n “pffh.. barely even hurt. I bet you couldn’t hurt me if you tried. I'm way too tough for that.” He bragged while flexing his non-existent muscles. Juniper frowned and for the first time that morning acknowledged me, seeking vindication.\n “Thymeeee… tell him he’s lying! Im wayy stronger than him. Right?” As I was about to reply however I heard a knock at the door. A knock at the door. There shouldn’t be anyone coming by today, who could that be? Knock knock, knock knock. The sound was deafening. Knock knock, knock knock. I clutched my head, covering my ears to make it stop but it didn't work.. and.. \n\n\nJune 19 20XX\n\n\nTHYME\n\n\nIt was another summer morning as the sunlight wormed through the dirty blinds of the living room. I was alone in the dust covered dark room as usual. The pain of reality once again set into me like a collection of barbed spears. Hunger was gnawing at me, my head pulsed in agony. Knock knock, I heard it once again. The door.. right. Someone must be here. Weakly I rose, walking through the dust free path on the floor where I walked every day. Though this time I took a path not much traversed. Standing at the door I heard it again. Knock knock. A firm two smacks of the door knocker, A sound I seldom have heard in recent memory. I contemplated there for a moment wondering who could possibly be coming by, the mail man? He stopped knocking a long time ago. It was pointless to think any more about it I figured, its worth at least a look isnt it? In saying that I cracked the door open slowly and peered out, the bright sun nearly blinding me in the process as my eyes adjusted painfully to the light I so rarely had seen within my home.\n “hey.. uh long time no see right?” He spoke quietly, though for awhile I wasn’t sure if what I was seeing was even real. My scars itched under the sunlights vicious caress. \n“p..pardon?” I managed out in a meek tone. The raccoon shifted around a little bit as if he was looking into my home, a certain sense of fear began to permeate throughout my body as I started to shake uncontrollably. He stared at me, surely in disgust or shame.\n “I just came by the check up on you.. um im your old buddy remember? Jax? You know im moving back into town if you wanted to hang out or something.” He said in what I was now sure to be a mocking tone. \n“Yo..you think you can just come back now like its nothing? You abandoned me jax.. now leave me be.” With that I shut the door again. In recent times I had never been so outwardly offended, anger and emotion I hadn’t felt in a long time seeped its way throughout my body. It was surprising to me, it had been awhile since I felt more than the deep emptiness which infects my core. At that moment all I wanted to do was break something, however I lacked the strength to do so. A gnawing clawing feeling began ripping at my stomach again, guess it is time to eat. I shuffled through to the kitchen, searching through the all but empty cabinets to fetch the pancake mix. The box was nearly empty, and it was the last one. I stared at it for a while with my spoon before I shoveled the last of it into my mouth. Eating the last of my food came with some level of hesitation, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get more.\n I wasn’t going to go out, that never ends well and even if I did there was no money to speak of. I would just have to rely on my garden. Speaking of which, After my breakfast there was only one thing left to do today. I walked through my empty home, following the tracks from the previous day, repeating the same motions as any other until I entered the greenhouse. \nThe stagnant dust filled air of my home left my lungs for the sweet summer air of the outdoors. Taking a deep breath and grabbing my watering can, plant shears and gardening boots I wandered out to the planter boxes. I looked upon the various arrangements of flowers and produce with pride, the sunflowers were always my favorites. There's just something about a flower who always faces the sun, always reaching for the light; that speaks to me. I wish I was like a sunflower. Parsley taught me how to garden, we did it together every day. So I always follow the order that he taught me. First I pruned any weeds which managed to show up, pulling them out by the roots. Second I checked for any ready produce, a single blueberry was picked and placed into my pocket. Lastly I water the plants, nurturing them like they were my own children. For the first time all day I felt myself smile. Only in the garden could I truly find happiness. So I lie there in the dirt amongst my flowers and produce, eating my blueberry. Slowly drifting back to sleep.\n\nJune 19 20XX\n\n\nJUNIPER\n\nIt was about 9 AM and I was occupied with my morning run. I’ve always been rather fit, was huge into soccer back in the day. Though since parsley died I turned to exercise and sports as an outlet. Never before did I see the weakness of my team or the incompetence of the other as clearly as I did then. Even now im still dedicated to that self improvement grind, something I feel many others have abandoned. Sitting by the wayside, rotting away. Nothing enraged me more than someone I had at some point called a friend. Thyme.\n He and many of the others never faced up to the facts of what happened, dwelling on themselves rather than working to achieve something. When it first happened I was empathetic, supportive even. We all were. Then that sniveling coward Jax left and the rest began to disperse in turn. I was the last one left who was there for him. Dropping off food, talking to him every day, hanging out in that home so full of horrible painful thoughts. Even still he never made an effort to improve, it was all doom and gloom. Slowly yet surely he rotted, despite the direction I gave him. In culmination after all I had done for him, the last time I went there for once I wanted to talk about perhaps how this all had affected me and in response he snapped at me. Shouting how I didn’t get it, how I wasn’t helping anymore. It was then I learned some people don’t want help. For if he is comfortable in his wretched stagnation then why should I have to deal with it? Lost in thought during my run I bumped into someone snout first.\n “Ah! Fuck hey watch it!” I shouted at the black and white fuzzy mass in front of me. Adjusting my glasses I felt confusion then a white hot rage boil up from inside of me. “YOU!” I exclaimed while pointing firmly at him.\n Jax the coward had returned to his town it seems. “Wo.. woah juni whats uh up? What's got you so riled up?” He said in his usual infuriatingly lax voice. Didn’t he take anything seriously? \n“What's up? You think you can just walk up to me and say “What's up” after what you've done? What the hell are you even doing here? Thought you were a big city college student. Or did you leave that behind too?” I sneered at him. To be honest I was surprised he had returned in the first place, but I wouldn’t be one to say that. \n“Look juniper it's not my fault, I had to move out of town.. this fuckin place I couldn’t think straight around here. I just wanted to try and forget. So don’t get on my ass about trying to make a positive change in my life.” His words felt shallow as you can come to expect from a people pleasering narcissist, though to be honest I just didn’t feel like arguing about it anymore.\n “All you ever think about is yourself. That's how you've always been. I don’t even know how I could stand being around you for all that time. I.. er HE needed you. You were his best friend and when he needed him most you left. All so you could “get away” fuck you.” I shouted at him shaking my head, after all this time he thinks he can just come back and everything will be okay? How oblivious or stupid does someone have to be. The brisk spring breeze was blowing more loudly now, as if the very land was flaring with my temper. \n“Look juni-“ as he spoke I delivered a hard and fast slap to the sideof the muzzle.\n “Dont fucking call me that!” He reeled from my blow, rubbing the side of his face tenderly. \n“Fuck! That hurts! I was just trying to tell you I was going to see Thyme.. I was going to check up on him. Ever since I left this backwater town ive felt fucking awful about it is that not good enough for you? Nothing is ever good enough for you.” He said in a defensive and pained voice. His words continued to fuel my anger, of course it wasn’t good enough. Too little too late. \n“You want to just come back after 6 whole ass years and expect things to be better? Fine. Go and see him, but the thyme you knew is dead. All that remains is a shambling corpse.” With that I continued my run, I had better things to do rather than beat the shit out of losers like him. If he really cares about thyme then that will be much worse than anything I could do.\n\nJune 8 20XX?\n\n\nJUNIPER\n\nWe were playing hide and seek in the woods behind Parsley's house but I think I might be lost.. it suddenly got all dark. I.. im scared and im not gonna be able to get back.. the trees shadows are so long when I shine my flashlight at them and all the paths look the same.. at this point i've stopped moving, just curled up in a ball next to a tree. The cold air is blowing through my wool and the noises of forest made me jump, frantically looking around it seemed like the shadows were closing in on me. Monsters in the night finally coming to eat me up. The shapelessness of darkness weaved all around me, reaching its claws out to get me. A twig snaps behind me, turning around with a high pitched scream. My flashlight illuminated not a monster but jax and parsley. \nThey were standing there with their hands clasped together. Tears were streaming down jax’s face as he ran over to embrace me, squeezing the life outta me. “Juni juni! A..are you okay? We've been looking all over for you..” he whined out through tears while squishing me. \n“H..hey you’re hurting me.. blech.. i..im happy to see you too” I choked out while he squeezed me. I didn’t notice it before but tears were running down my cheeks as well, not of fear but of happiness. I couldn’t hold back my emotions as I raised my arms up to hold him back. Parsley stood there with a smile though he was seemingly getting slightly chilly. \n“I told him to go to bed but he refused to go until we found you. We ought to get going back home, dinner is probably already cold.” He laughed lightly while thankfully pulling me apart from the crushing hug and grabbing my hand. “just keep holding my hand and we will make it back safely. Okay?” He said in a reassuring tone of voice as I wordlessly nodded my head trying not to look at the scary woods around me. The way back was long and dark as I tightly gripped parsley and jax’s hands while staring down at the dirt. I didn’t realize just how far out I had gone. I only looked up when I saw the familiar light of Parsley's house. “Look juni here we go, back home. Let’s just get inside now and get you two a nice cup of coco.” Parsley said while squeezing my hand, smiling warmly. He was very calming, never was there a time when he failed to console us. I didn’t want to say it because it was too embarrassing but I was happy to see jax too. Really he has always been there.. even when i've wanted space. I guess that's what best friends do.\n\nJune 20 20XX\n\n\nNETTLE\n\nIn the chilly coffee shop I was shook back into focus with the almost distant voice of jax. “Nettie? you there?” He said with an almost concerned tone to his voice, shaking me by my shoulder. Fuzzily I looked around as my mind slipped back into the driver's seat of my body. \n“Uh.. oh sorry. I must have dozed off. Been workin.. late shifts. Were you saying something?” With a puzzled expression he stared at me with a raised eyebrow.\n “Are you alright? I mean I don’t often fall asleep with my eyes open. But hey that might just be me.” He said dryly while shrugging. I shook my head trying to smile, Usually this sorta thing doesn’t happen around people. “Right.. sure. Anyhow. I was just talkin about how I had talked to some of our uh old friends. Didn’t notice you were “sleeping” til I finished my exhilarating tale.” His doubt was clear however seemingly he wasn’t going to press me further on it. Our friends, yeah, that's a good topic. \n“Oh really? My bad. Mind going through it again for me? Promise I won't slip off again.” Without missing a beat he nodded. Seems he hasn’t gotten tired of the sound of his own voice yet. \n“Well firstly I met up with mizzy. You two still uh, a thing? I haven’t heard anything about it from her.” My heart dropped while a lump formed in my throat. Why'd she have to find him first.. ugh. At Least it seems she didn’t say anything about me.\n “No, and frankly I don’t want to discuss it any further.” I snapped quickly at him.\n “alright alright.. relax I won't bring her up again. Her parts are over though. Basically I was told to go check up on thyme and well I ran into juni on the way. She was pretty pissed at me for some reason. Still not exactly sure why buuut after I got past her gets to the actually important part. Have you seen thyme lately? I mean.. its gotten worse. He’s practically a skeleton.” He said with a tone of somber sadness. I suppose I hadn’t seen him for a while. I knew things were bad but to be honest things were bad for all of us. I could never understand his pain, I wouldn’t claim that but I wasn’t exactly in the right headspace to help him either. \n“Oh man thats fucked up.. I thought he was living off the state, you know unemployment and all that. I know it isn't much but it certainly is enough to live off of.” I remember juniper set him up on that awhile ago, though I guess I haven’t seen him in years. I never thought about it but I suppose that isn't exactly a good sign. \n“Well whatever money he’s getting he clearly isn’t eating much of anything. Frankly, I'm worried. He didn’t seem to wanna talk to me and I get that. but maybe he’ll talk to you? Im not really asking much, if for nothing else for old times sake?” He beseeched with a look of deep sorrow in his eyes. Jax and thyme were always close, it almost felt like he was begging me to do it. \n“Welll… I can try. There's no guarantee though, if he wont talk to you his previous best friend why would he talk to me? I mean we knew each but you know..” I caved, I mean what else was I going to do? I needed to see how bad things were first though. If he truly needs the help than the effort of what it will take to get it to him might be worth it. So with that I stood up and stretched. \n“Lets get going then.” It was time to do what we all should have done a long time ago.\n\n\nJune 19th 20XX\n\n\nSYN(SEPALUM)\n\nThere wasn't a single day that it was easy to get up. Everything in my head told me to lie down in my bed, shrivel up and then die. For awhile this was what I did, I let it consume me. But in due time I was reminded that despite my pain I had work to do. My sister, poor little juni. She tried so hard to keep everybody together, while the rest of us were stuck in our own little worlds. It was that tenacity which reminded me that this wouldn’t be what he would have wanted. Even if it was just her, I would keep my sister safe and always be there for her. At Least that's what I told myself. In reality what that meant is that I would return to work and resume my classes, there was really not much time for that sorta thing anymore. \nSpending time at home during the summer is nice, and it always puts a smile on her face but it pains me to remember that it is fleeting. I will have to go back to college eventually, and then what will she have? Each day these thoughts plagued me, yet each day I was reminded of why I keep living.\n “Synnnn I made you breakfast, you gonna be getting up or what?” Juniper whined while crossing her arms. Sitting up in my bed I gave her a good smile, stretching my arms with a yawn.\n “Mh, sorry Juni, I was just sleeping in a little. Its nice to be able to catch some real Z’s in my own bed you know? I thought I told you i'd be making breakfast anyhow.” I said with a light chuckle. Regardless of what was said the gesture was always appreciated. “Just give me 5 minutes to get dressed, promise i'll be out soon as I can.” I followed up in a slightly horse voice. \n“Hmm.. ok. But if the food gets cold before you come out im gonna be real pissed, so hurry up already.” She said in a rather familiar tone of sass. It was nothing I wasn’t used to, she’s always been like that. A real big personality as our grandpa used to say. With her leaving the room I got up, looking at the photo of me and Parsley on our trip to the nearby falls. Why did it have to be him? My heart felt as if it were about to shatter all over again each time I looked at his face. Looking on the back of the photo something fell out from the frame, a second photo I had never seen before. My face grew red at the contents as I quickly shoved it back into place. It wasn’t exactly surprising, that was certainly something he would do. After that I quickly got changed, trying not to think about what I had just seen. Walking into the kitchen I saw a nice homely breakfast laid out on the old dining room table, with juniper looking rather miffed in my direction. I suppose I had lost track of time. \n“About time, what in the world were you doing in there that it took you 10 minutes to get out here?” She looked at me with suspicion, though not entirely unwarranted.\n “Nothing really, was just trying to figure out what attire to wear to your grand feast here. Its quite the occasion isnt it little miss chef.” I said in an over exaggerated tone taking my spot at the head of the table. Eggs, blueberry pancakes and a hefty salad, all the usual ingredients I'd expect from her at this point. \n“I'm not a kid anymore.. you don’t gotta treat me like one. But yeah, it is quite the occasion isnt it? Your first day back, I just wanted to surprise you with something nice you know?” She exclaimed with a sense of pride. Juni learned how to cook from Parsley, or I suppose I should say tried to learn. She never really got anything down other than pancakes, salads and a couple other things but i'm not going to complain.\n “Well.. can’t argue with that. Thanks, I really appreciate it. Especially given how rough classes have been lately. Speaking of which, hows work for you been lately?” I asked while chomping on my slightly cold pancakes, the look in her eye got noticeably more annoyed. \n“Same as ever. Those morons couldn’t load the shelf properly if I beat them over the head with it. Fucking hate it.” She said, rubbing her forehead in frustration. Back when juni got that managerial position I remembered her being pretty happy about it, the job fits her but I guess I should have seen this coming. \n“Relax Juni, I mean they probably don't mean to piss you off. Those kids don’t really get paid enough to give a shit, don't you remember working that same position?” I reasoned, finishing up the last of my pancakes. Juniper was always a rather intense girl, but if there was anyone who could calm her down it was me. I knew better than anyone that she HATED shelving. \n“Well atleast when I did it I did it right. Doesn’t mean I had to like it. Can't they at least TRY to do it right? I mean come on..” she whined, while crossing her arms defiantly. This I wouldn’t deny, she did do a good job. However it was partially due to her good relationship with the previous boss, the same boss that promoted her to the position after leaving.\n “Juni, you ever wonder why that might be? All you do is yell at them. I'm sure they might work a little harder if you just relax a bit. I know you are trying your best but a different angle might make things work a little better dont you think?” Juni could be stubborn sometimes, to a fault even. When she gets her mind stuck on something it’s unlikely anything will change her mind. \n“I mean I guess. I don’t know, just feel like no matter what I do nobody ever listens to me. Even if what i'm saying makes sense, the only way I can get people’s attention is by forcing them to. People don’t take me seriously until its too late.” She explained in a frustrated yet deeply troubled voice. It always hurt me to see her like this, it wasn’t often but occasionally something slips in her mind. I like to think it’s just mood swings, though I'm well aware it's much much worse. It was in these moments I asked myself “What would Parsley do? '' though the answer did not come easily to me. I could never be him, and I never wanted to be him. All I could do was try my best to comfort her. \n“Well.. I mean thats their loss isn't it? I’ve always followed your advice and looks where that's taken me, all the way to work on my masters degree. If they don’t want your help then why give it to them? Aside from.. your professional duties of course. You should spend time with people who care about what you have to say. Okay?” Immediately I doubted my words, was that even good advice to give? Though I didn’t let that doubt show, I never did. Looking up at her she seemed to be deep in thought, processing what was said and without warning she got up and walked out the door. This wasn’t anything particularly new, she took a morning walk everyday. Though that didn’t stop me from worrying. Was it something I said? I sure hope not. I can only pray she was going on a thought journey and would come out on the other side in a positive light.\n","writing_bbcode_parsed":"“We will never forget you, let your light gleam forever more amongst the stars.” - line two of Parsley Belladonna's eulogy.


June 20 20XX


NETTLE

The sun was held high in the sky, bearing down on the enfeebled plant life with its blazing tendrils of light. Summer was upon us again, though nowadays, it's far less exciting. No more long summer breaks, camping trips to the creek with friends, No more sleepovers. Though it's really best not to linger on those sorta things i've found. Reminiscing on the past doesn’t get you anywhere, and where I am now is my dead end job at esquepress. It’s usually rather peaceful this time of day, the morning coffee rush has passed and the highschoolers have gone off on their various mischiefs. So i'm left to twiddle with my quills, staring off into space. That is of course until..

A loud ding rings out through the store shaking me awake. “Welcome to esquepress, what can I get you today?” I droned out in my usual work tone, looking down at the register, preparing to take the customers order. I wasn’t expecting WHO exactly it was however.
 “Hm think I'll take 2 lattes, one with cinnamon and one plain.” Said a vaguely familiar voice. That order too, reminds me of the order that I used to get with..
“Oh! Jax it’s you? Jeez sorry I didn’t notice. Always get so zoned out working here.” I said fixing up my posture, exiting the zombie mode my brain gets set to while working the register.
“The one and only, been a while hasn’t it?” He remarked, shrugging his shoulders a bit with his usual sly grin. “Awhile” is a bit of an understatement I'd say, or maybe it's exactly right I'm not sure. Either way it had been 8 years since he moved away and here he is now.
“Yeah yeah it has really hasn’t it? What brings you back around your home town all the sudden? Sorta figured you wouldn’t be able to stand coming back.” I asked while punching in the order, sending it to the back.
“Didn’t have too much of a choice, college fell through and Ive basically been living paycheck to paycheck. Then my ol’ grandpa kicked the bucket and apparently most of the will went to me. More specifically the house and a huge sum of money.” He explained in a relaxed yet weary tone, it must have been a long trip.
 “Huh.. well that sucks I think? Least you got somewhere to live then? Sorry for your loss, though. Must be rough.” After saying that the drinks came out, probably a good time for a break and some catch up. Exiting the counter the two of us sat in a quiet booth nestled in the back.
“Ehh.. I try not to let it affect me. He was old, and I barely knew him. Really I'm more happy than anything else. I got a house and security and that's more than I could really ask for you know?” He explained while sipping on his drink. The whole situation felt sorta like a lucid dream, I haven’t really seen anyone from my old group of friends for awhile now and out of nowhere here's one of them, ever since.. that.. we all sorta just drifted apart. At the time it hurt of course but at this point I just accepted that.”
 “Yeah.. I suppose that's fair. Guess it isn't all that important if you never really knew him. It's great you got a house again though, even if it's a little bit.. morbid?” Pausing for a minute, the two of us just sat there for a moment. It's a strange moment, after so long things have seemingly just fallen right back into place. It felt too easy, far too simple. Breaking the silence, I spoke “So.. you see anyone else? Like from before?”
Jax shifted in his seat, his eyes flick back and forth for a moment before responding. “Oh uh yeah. Well sorta…”

June 19 20XX


JAX

It was a long drive to my hometown, never in my life did I ever expect I'd be coming back to this old place but some old ass relative finally croaked, which is good timing given my current living situation. Either way I guess it's not all bad, the place im moving into is some huge ranch which is nice. Driving by this all is.. certainly something though. I haven’t thought about this town pretty much since I moved out, and there's a weird sense of nostalgia despite that. I'm not sure what drove me to do it but as I was passing by an old playground I decided to stop by, I guess just to relax and have some lunch. Exiting my beat old beat up truck, I wandered over to some picnic tables with a burger I picked up along the way. It was a beautiful day for sure, those early summer kinds where you can still hang outside without your fur getting burned off, with a slight brisk spring breeze. Maybe the countryside isn't too awful. I thought to myself just enjoying the moment of silence, getting away from the rat race of the city is certainly nice. That silence however wouldn’t last forever, “Hey, do I know you?” A familiar voice rang out through the still air as I turned to see who was addressing me. A tall lizard woman was curiously observing me from a distance, almost scrutinizing my features.
 “Uh.. maybe. Feel like I've seen you before too, name’s Jax.” Her eyes lit up, a slight smile gently went across her face.
 “Woah! Yo seriously? You moved out ages ago, didn’t you? I'm not sure if you remember me but I'm Mizuna, we used to hang out back in highschool. You know, with Juniper and stuff” old memories tingled in the back of my brain as my face lit up on its own as well.
 “Oh shit yeah, that’s wildin’. I'm actually moving back in town believe it or not. Failed out of my classes, got a new place in the outskirts of town” I explained while chomping down on the last bit of my burger, feeling a little better physically.
 “Nothing changed then eh? School was never your strong suit, to be honest I'm surprised you even decided to go to college given how much you hated highschool.” She said in a jokingly mocking tone.
“Well you know.. things can change. They didn’t. But they could have so I at least wanted to try. I didn't want to be a screw up my whole life.” I remarked in more of a defensive tone than I would have wanted, shit I mean I really tried. I wanted to succeed in college but old habits die hard I guess.
 “Woah woah chill man, I was just messing around. Didn’t think that was a nerve. My bad.” Her words seemed genuinely apologetic but the damage to my sour mood was already done, and perhaps she could tell that from my silence.
 “Er yeah well.. maybe I ought to get going. Sorry about that. Uh hey there’s someone I think you ought to see. Or I guess he might want to see you, you remember thyme right?” I froze there for a moment hearing that name, a flood of memories began washing through my head which I quickly shut off again. Not again.
 “Oh.. uh yeah I remember him. We used to be best buddies. How's he doing nowadays anyhow? Better I'm sure.” I replied hopefully, though a twinge of doubt ran through me as I clutched the old burnt friendship bracelet in my pocket.
“I think its better if I don’t say anything about it. Same place he’s always lived, can't miss it.” She said, though I wasn’t really listening at that moment. As she walked away I pulled out the old bracelet to stare at it. It wasn’t anything particularly special but for whatever reason I couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how hard I tried to forget. So I left to get in my car, I had to see my friend. One last time couldn’t hurt could it?

June 19 20XX?


THYME

It was a warm summer morning as the sunlight streamed through the blinds of the living room. Everyone else was asleep aside from me and my big brother as the two of us sat quietly playing halo on our old Xbox. “Stop shooting me you dweeb, why do you think we never get past the first level?” Parsley said while playfully shoving me aside, both of us dying in the process. Parsley was always gentle with me no matter what. Even when I was mean to him he would never be mean to me back. We continued playing for a while until the others woke up, never actually getting anywhere past the first level. Juniper was the first to wake, stirring in her black and pink sleeping bag.    
“hmph can't you boys be quiet? i'm trying to get some sleep so I can have energy for my soccer game coming up!” She whined half asleep rubbing her eyes.
“Hm, sorry juni. Can I make it up to you with some blueberry pancakes?” Parsley spoke in a soft, almost motherly tone. Her eyes immediately shot open in response, jumping up and trampling over jax as she ran through to the kitchen.
 “Ouch! You jerk you stepped on me! That hurt.. Ugh.. Parsley, juniper stepped on me!" Jax growled while pulling himself up and crossing his arms. Parsley chuckled while getting the pancake mix out.
“Come now juniper, you aren’t gonna get any pancakes until you apologize to jax. What did I tell you about being careful where you step? You wouldn’t like it if he stepped on you now would you?” Parsley scolded, though his voice never was raised. On these summer days he was always watching us, making sure we wouldn’t fight and keeping us in line. He was everything to us.
 “It was his fault for lying there but.. ok.” She turned to face him, though avoiding eye contact. “I'm sorry for stepping on you. I was just excited is all.” Jax turned his nose up a little in a pouty expression.
 “pffh.. barely even hurt. I bet you couldn’t hurt me if you tried. I'm way too tough for that.” He bragged while flexing his non-existent muscles. Juniper frowned and for the first time that morning acknowledged me, seeking vindication.
 “Thymeeee… tell him he’s lying! Im wayy stronger than him. Right?” As I was about to reply however I heard a knock at the door. A knock at the door. There shouldn’t be anyone coming by today, who could that be? Knock knock, knock knock. The sound was deafening. Knock knock, knock knock. I clutched my head, covering my ears to make it stop but it didn't work.. and..


June 19 20XX


THYME


It was another summer morning as the sunlight wormed through the dirty blinds of the living room. I was alone in the dust covered dark room as usual. The pain of reality once again set into me like a collection of barbed spears. Hunger was gnawing at me, my head pulsed in agony. Knock knock, I heard it once again. The door.. right. Someone must be here. Weakly I rose, walking through the dust free path on the floor where I walked every day. Though this time I took a path not much traversed. Standing at the door I heard it again. Knock knock. A firm two smacks of the door knocker, A sound I seldom have heard in recent memory. I contemplated there for a moment wondering who could possibly be coming by, the mail man? He stopped knocking a long time ago. It was pointless to think any more about it I figured, its worth at least a look isnt it? In saying that I cracked the door open slowly and peered out, the bright sun nearly blinding me in the process as my eyes adjusted painfully to the light I so rarely had seen within my home.
 “hey.. uh long time no see right?” He spoke quietly, though for awhile I wasn’t sure if what I was seeing was even real. My scars itched under the sunlights vicious caress.
“p..pardon?” I managed out in a meek tone. The raccoon shifted around a little bit as if he was looking into my home, a certain sense of fear began to permeate throughout my body as I started to shake uncontrollably. He stared at me, surely in disgust or shame.
 “I just came by the check up on you.. um im your old buddy remember? Jax? You know im moving back into town if you wanted to hang out or something.” He said in what I was now sure to be a mocking tone.
“Yo..you think you can just come back now like its nothing? You abandoned me jax.. now leave me be.” With that I shut the door again. In recent times I had never been so outwardly offended, anger and emotion I hadn’t felt in a long time seeped its way throughout my body. It was surprising to me, it had been awhile since I felt more than the deep emptiness which infects my core. At that moment all I wanted to do was break something, however I lacked the strength to do so. A gnawing clawing feeling began ripping at my stomach again, guess it is time to eat. I shuffled through to the kitchen, searching through the all but empty cabinets to fetch the pancake mix. The box was nearly empty, and it was the last one. I stared at it for a while with my spoon before I shoveled the last of it into my mouth. Eating the last of my food came with some level of hesitation, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get more.
 I wasn’t going to go out, that never ends well and even if I did there was no money to speak of. I would just have to rely on my garden. Speaking of which, After my breakfast there was only one thing left to do today. I walked through my empty home, following the tracks from the previous day, repeating the same motions as any other until I entered the greenhouse.
The stagnant dust filled air of my home left my lungs for the sweet summer air of the outdoors. Taking a deep breath and grabbing my watering can, plant shears and gardening boots I wandered out to the planter boxes. I looked upon the various arrangements of flowers and produce with pride, the sunflowers were always my favorites. There's just something about a flower who always faces the sun, always reaching for the light; that speaks to me. I wish I was like a sunflower. Parsley taught me how to garden, we did it together every day. So I always follow the order that he taught me. First I pruned any weeds which managed to show up, pulling them out by the roots. Second I checked for any ready produce, a single blueberry was picked and placed into my pocket. Lastly I water the plants, nurturing them like they were my own children. For the first time all day I felt myself smile. Only in the garden could I truly find happiness. So I lie there in the dirt amongst my flowers and produce, eating my blueberry. Slowly drifting back to sleep.

June 19 20XX


JUNIPER

It was about 9 AM and I was occupied with my morning run. I’ve always been rather fit, was huge into soccer back in the day. Though since parsley died I turned to exercise and sports as an outlet. Never before did I see the weakness of my team or the incompetence of the other as clearly as I did then. Even now im still dedicated to that self improvement grind, something I feel many others have abandoned. Sitting by the wayside, rotting away. Nothing enraged me more than someone I had at some point called a friend. Thyme.
 He and many of the others never faced up to the facts of what happened, dwelling on themselves rather than working to achieve something. When it first happened I was empathetic, supportive even. We all were. Then that sniveling coward Jax left and the rest began to disperse in turn. I was the last one left who was there for him. Dropping off food, talking to him every day, hanging out in that home so full of horrible painful thoughts. Even still he never made an effort to improve, it was all doom and gloom. Slowly yet surely he rotted, despite the direction I gave him. In culmination after all I had done for him, the last time I went there for once I wanted to talk about perhaps how this all had affected me and in response he snapped at me. Shouting how I didn’t get it, how I wasn’t helping anymore. It was then I learned some people don’t want help. For if he is comfortable in his wretched stagnation then why should I have to deal with it? Lost in thought during my run I bumped into someone snout first.
 “Ah! Fuck hey watch it!” I shouted at the black and white fuzzy mass in front of me. Adjusting my glasses I felt confusion then a white hot rage boil up from inside of me. “YOU!” I exclaimed while pointing firmly at him.
 Jax the coward had returned to his town it seems. “Wo.. woah juni whats uh up? What's got you so riled up?” He said in his usual infuriatingly lax voice. Didn’t he take anything seriously?
“What's up? You think you can just walk up to me and say “What's up” after what you've done? What the hell are you even doing here? Thought you were a big city college student. Or did you leave that behind too?” I sneered at him. To be honest I was surprised he had returned in the first place, but I wouldn’t be one to say that.
“Look juniper it's not my fault, I had to move out of town.. this fuckin place I couldn’t think straight around here. I just wanted to try and forget. So don’t get on my ass about trying to make a positive change in my life.” His words felt shallow as you can come to expect from a people pleasering narcissist, though to be honest I just didn’t feel like arguing about it anymore.
 “All you ever think about is yourself. That's how you've always been. I don’t even know how I could stand being around you for all that time. I.. er HE needed you. You were his best friend and when he needed him most you left. All so you could “get away” fuck you.” I shouted at him shaking my head, after all this time he thinks he can just come back and everything will be okay? How oblivious or stupid does someone have to be. The brisk spring breeze was blowing more loudly now, as if the very land was flaring with my temper.
“Look juni-“ as he spoke I delivered a hard and fast slap to the sideof the muzzle.
 “Dont fucking call me that!” He reeled from my blow, rubbing the side of his face tenderly.
“Fuck! That hurts! I was just trying to tell you I was going to see Thyme.. I was going to check up on him. Ever since I left this backwater town ive felt fucking awful about it is that not good enough for you? Nothing is ever good enough for you.” He said in a defensive and pained voice. His words continued to fuel my anger, of course it wasn’t good enough. Too little too late.
“You want to just come back after 6 whole ass years and expect things to be better? Fine. Go and see him, but the thyme you knew is dead. All that remains is a shambling corpse.” With that I continued my run, I had better things to do rather than beat the shit out of losers like him. If he really cares about thyme then that will be much worse than anything I could do.

June 8 20XX?


JUNIPER

We were playing hide and seek in the woods behind Parsley's house but I think I might be lost.. it suddenly got all dark. I.. im scared and im not gonna be able to get back.. the trees shadows are so long when I shine my flashlight at them and all the paths look the same.. at this point i've stopped moving, just curled up in a ball next to a tree. The cold air is blowing through my wool and the noises of forest made me jump, frantically looking around it seemed like the shadows were closing in on me. Monsters in the night finally coming to eat me up. The shapelessness of darkness weaved all around me, reaching its claws out to get me. A twig snaps behind me, turning around with a high pitched scream. My flashlight illuminated not a monster but jax and parsley.
They were standing there with their hands clasped together. Tears were streaming down jax’s face as he ran over to embrace me, squeezing the life outta me. “Juni juni! A..are you okay? We've been looking all over for you..” he whined out through tears while squishing me.
“H..hey you’re hurting me.. blech.. i..im happy to see you too” I choked out while he squeezed me. I didn’t notice it before but tears were running down my cheeks as well, not of fear but of happiness. I couldn’t hold back my emotions as I raised my arms up to hold him back. Parsley stood there with a smile though he was seemingly getting slightly chilly.
“I told him to go to bed but he refused to go until we found you. We ought to get going back home, dinner is probably already cold.” He laughed lightly while thankfully pulling me apart from the crushing hug and grabbing my hand. “just keep holding my hand and we will make it back safely. Okay?” He said in a reassuring tone of voice as I wordlessly nodded my head trying not to look at the scary woods around me. The way back was long and dark as I tightly gripped parsley and jax’s hands while staring down at the dirt. I didn’t realize just how far out I had gone. I only looked up when I saw the familiar light of Parsley's house. “Look juni here we go, back home. Let’s just get inside now and get you two a nice cup of coco.” Parsley said while squeezing my hand, smiling warmly. He was very calming, never was there a time when he failed to console us. I didn’t want to say it because it was too embarrassing but I was happy to see jax too. Really he has always been there.. even when i've wanted space. I guess that's what best friends do.

June 20 20XX


NETTLE

In the chilly coffee shop I was shook back into focus with the almost distant voice of jax. “Nettie? you there?” He said with an almost concerned tone to his voice, shaking me by my shoulder. Fuzzily I looked around as my mind slipped back into the driver's seat of my body.
“Uh.. oh sorry. I must have dozed off. Been workin.. late shifts. Were you saying something?” With a puzzled expression he stared at me with a raised eyebrow.
 “Are you alright? I mean I don’t often fall asleep with my eyes open. But hey that might just be me.” He said dryly while shrugging. I shook my head trying to smile, Usually this sorta thing doesn’t happen around people. “Right.. sure. Anyhow. I was just talkin about how I had talked to some of our uh old friends. Didn’t notice you were “sleeping” til I finished my exhilarating tale.” His doubt was clear however seemingly he wasn’t going to press me further on it. Our friends, yeah, that's a good topic.
“Oh really? My bad. Mind going through it again for me? Promise I won't slip off again.” Without missing a beat he nodded. Seems he hasn’t gotten tired of the sound of his own voice yet.
“Well firstly I met up with mizzy. You two still uh, a thing? I haven’t heard anything about it from her.” My heart dropped while a lump formed in my throat. Why'd she have to find him first.. ugh. At Least it seems she didn’t say anything about me.
 “No, and frankly I don’t want to discuss it any further.” I snapped quickly at him.
 “alright alright.. relax I won't bring her up again. Her parts are over though. Basically I was told to go check up on thyme and well I ran into juni on the way. She was pretty pissed at me for some reason. Still not exactly sure why buuut after I got past her gets to the actually important part. Have you seen thyme lately? I mean.. its gotten worse. He’s practically a skeleton.” He said with a tone of somber sadness. I suppose I hadn’t seen him for a while. I knew things were bad but to be honest things were bad for all of us. I could never understand his pain, I wouldn’t claim that but I wasn’t exactly in the right headspace to help him either.
“Oh man thats fucked up.. I thought he was living off the state, you know unemployment and all that. I know it isn't much but it certainly is enough to live off of.” I remember juniper set him up on that awhile ago, though I guess I haven’t seen him in years. I never thought about it but I suppose that isn't exactly a good sign.
“Well whatever money he’s getting he clearly isn’t eating much of anything. Frankly, I'm worried. He didn’t seem to wanna talk to me and I get that. but maybe he’ll talk to you? Im not really asking much, if for nothing else for old times sake?” He beseeched with a look of deep sorrow in his eyes. Jax and thyme were always close, it almost felt like he was begging me to do it.
“Welll… I can try. There's no guarantee though, if he wont talk to you his previous best friend why would he talk to me? I mean we knew each but you know..” I caved, I mean what else was I going to do? I needed to see how bad things were first though. If he truly needs the help than the effort of what it will take to get it to him might be worth it. So with that I stood up and stretched.
“Lets get going then.” It was time to do what we all should have done a long time ago.


June 19th 20XX


SYN(SEPALUM)

There wasn't a single day that it was easy to get up. Everything in my head told me to lie down in my bed, shrivel up and then die. For awhile this was what I did, I let it consume me. But in due time I was reminded that despite my pain I had work to do. My sister, poor little juni. She tried so hard to keep everybody together, while the rest of us were stuck in our own little worlds. It was that tenacity which reminded me that this wouldn’t be what he would have wanted. Even if it was just her, I would keep my sister safe and always be there for her. At Least that's what I told myself. In reality what that meant is that I would return to work and resume my classes, there was really not much time for that sorta thing anymore.
Spending time at home during the summer is nice, and it always puts a smile on her face but it pains me to remember that it is fleeting. I will have to go back to college eventually, and then what will she have? Each day these thoughts plagued me, yet each day I was reminded of why I keep living.
 “Synnnn I made you breakfast, you gonna be getting up or what?” Juniper whined while crossing her arms. Sitting up in my bed I gave her a good smile, stretching my arms with a yawn.
 “Mh, sorry Juni, I was just sleeping in a little. Its nice to be able to catch some real Z’s in my own bed you know? I thought I told you i'd be making breakfast anyhow.” I said with a light chuckle. Regardless of what was said the gesture was always appreciated. “Just give me 5 minutes to get dressed, promise i'll be out soon as I can.” I followed up in a slightly horse voice.
“Hmm.. ok. But if the food gets cold before you come out im gonna be real pissed, so hurry up already.” She said in a rather familiar tone of sass. It was nothing I wasn’t used to, she’s always been like that. A real big personality as our grandpa used to say. With her leaving the room I got up, looking at the photo of me and Parsley on our trip to the nearby falls. Why did it have to be him? My heart felt as if it were about to shatter all over again each time I looked at his face. Looking on the back of the photo something fell out from the frame, a second photo I had never seen before. My face grew red at the contents as I quickly shoved it back into place. It wasn’t exactly surprising, that was certainly something he would do. After that I quickly got changed, trying not to think about what I had just seen. Walking into the kitchen I saw a nice homely breakfast laid out on the old dining room table, with juniper looking rather miffed in my direction. I suppose I had lost track of time.
“About time, what in the world were you doing in there that it took you 10 minutes to get out here?” She looked at me with suspicion, though not entirely unwarranted.
 “Nothing really, was just trying to figure out what attire to wear to your grand feast here. Its quite the occasion isnt it little miss chef.” I said in an over exaggerated tone taking my spot at the head of the table. Eggs, blueberry pancakes and a hefty salad, all the usual ingredients I'd expect from her at this point.
“I'm not a kid anymore.. you don’t gotta treat me like one. But yeah, it is quite the occasion isnt it? Your first day back, I just wanted to surprise you with something nice you know?” She exclaimed with a sense of pride. Juni learned how to cook from Parsley, or I suppose I should say tried to learn. She never really got anything down other than pancakes, salads and a couple other things but i'm not going to complain.
 “Well.. can’t argue with that. Thanks, I really appreciate it. Especially given how rough classes have been lately. Speaking of which, hows work for you been lately?” I asked while chomping on my slightly cold pancakes, the look in her eye got noticeably more annoyed.
“Same as ever. Those morons couldn’t load the shelf properly if I beat them over the head with it. Fucking hate it.” She said, rubbing her forehead in frustration. Back when juni got that managerial position I remembered her being pretty happy about it, the job fits her but I guess I should have seen this coming.
“Relax Juni, I mean they probably don't mean to piss you off. Those kids don’t really get paid enough to give a shit, don't you remember working that same position?” I reasoned, finishing up the last of my pancakes. Juniper was always a rather intense girl, but if there was anyone who could calm her down it was me. I knew better than anyone that she HATED shelving.
“Well atleast when I did it I did it right. Doesn’t mean I had to like it. Can't they at least TRY to do it right? I mean come on..” she whined, while crossing her arms defiantly. This I wouldn’t deny, she did do a good job. However it was partially due to her good relationship with the previous boss, the same boss that promoted her to the position after leaving.
 “Juni, you ever wonder why that might be? All you do is yell at them. I'm sure they might work a little harder if you just relax a bit. I know you are trying your best but a different angle might make things work a little better dont you think?” Juni could be stubborn sometimes, to a fault even. When she gets her mind stuck on something it’s unlikely anything will change her mind.
“I mean I guess. I don’t know, just feel like no matter what I do nobody ever listens to me. Even if what i'm saying makes sense, the only way I can get people’s attention is by forcing them to. People don’t take me seriously until its too late.” She explained in a frustrated yet deeply troubled voice. It always hurt me to see her like this, it wasn’t often but occasionally something slips in her mind. I like to think it’s just mood swings, though I'm well aware it's much much worse. It was in these moments I asked myself “What would Parsley do? '' though the answer did not come easily to me. I could never be him, and I never wanted to be him. All I could do was try my best to comfort her.
“Well.. I mean thats their loss isn't it? I’ve always followed your advice and looks where that's taken me, all the way to work on my masters degree. If they don’t want your help then why give it to them? Aside from.. your professional duties of course. You should spend time with people who care about what you have to say. Okay?” Immediately I doubted my words, was that even good advice to give? Though I didn’t let that doubt show, I never did. Looking up at her she seemed to be deep in thought, processing what was said and without warning she got up and walked out the door. This wasn’t anything particularly new, she took a morning walk everyday. Though that didn’t stop me from worrying. Was it something I said? I sure hope not. I can only pray she was going on a thought journey and would come out on the other side in a positive light.
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