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"submission_right_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5246/5246285_BuddyTippet_prettynukiething-hd.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5246/5246285_BuddyTippet_prettynukiething-hd.jpg", "submission_right_thumb_huge_x": "120", "submission_right_thumb_huge_y": "120", "submission_right_thumb_large_x": "120", "submission_right_thumb_large_y": "120", "submission_right_thumb_medium_x": "120", "submission_right_thumb_medium_y": "120" } ], "description": "The original song is called Tall Cotton. It was by the late, great Count Basie and recorded in 1975. The lyrics, however, were entirely written and performed by fa!BuddyTippet I basically created lyrics for an instrumental piece that never needed any. That's just the sort of dumb person that I am. By the way, this is actually the majority of the music I listen to. I have always been into classic big bang jazz from the likes of Count Basie, Sammy Nestico, and Buddy Rich. It was fun making this.\n\nThe script is posted below!\n\nKeep in mind that I, Buddy Tippet, also am an author of some very dirty books published on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. \n\n[url=https://www.amazon.com/Buddy-Tippet/e/B07C4VBJN9/]Click here for a list of all of my books![/url]\n\n[center][b]Also consider buying me a coffee to help keep me going.[/b]\n\n[url=https://ko-fi.com/buddytippet]https://ko-fi.com/buddytippet[/url]\n\nEnjoy the show![/center]\n\n-----\n\n[Music has a light opening that isn't appropriate for singing. Donkey will talk here as an intro.]\n\n[Spoken] Hey there folks. Just a poor ol' mule here, one half donkey and one half horse if you will. Just showin' on up to lamment his life for all it's worth. Why not just sit a spell so I can tell you mah story. A warning though... it sure ain't a good one!\n\n[Sing] There ain't no fella out there for an old faggot mule like me.\n\nI've search up the highs and lows, but there ain't no one I can see.\n\nEvery time I find a man, All he does is smile and shake my hand\n\nBut there ain't no fella out there for an old faaaaaaaag donk like me.\n\n-----\n\nThere ain't no fella out there for an old faggot mule like me.\n\nI've checked all the dating apps for someone that I can see.\n\nIt ain't fair cause I got needs that only a man can rightly please.\n\nBut there ain't no fella out there for an old faaaaaaaag...\n\n[Spoken] And it ain't for a lack of tryin, lemme tell ya! Just nobody fuckin' wants me!\n\nThere ain't no one there for-a... dumb fag like me!\n\n-----\n\n[Spoken] I don't really know why it has to be this way. I'm not that ugly. And being a mule like I is, I can't even get one of them females pregnat anyhow. Might as well be gay as far as I can figure. Problem is that everytime I meet someone, it won't ever work out. Don't even make it into bed with 'em. I tried all the different apps on my celly phone. Tried that Grindr thing. Got a whole bunch of hits until I added mah picture. Don't even know what happened there. Can't a donk get some dick in his ass? What the fucking hell! What even is this? I got a cock. I got balls. Somethin' wrong with me? Seriously I'm asking! Is somethuing wrong with me? 5 foot 7. Dick's like a foot and 2. It ain't no horse dick, but I ain't a horse. You want a horse? I mean, I can role play a horse, but it ain't gonna make this thing any bigger. Come on, guys. What do ya want from me?!\n\nI got needs man! I got big boy needs. I can't just spend my whole life on the internet looking at porn. I gotta be /in/ the porn once in a while. I don't even care what ya look like. Big and fat, don't care! I got a gut on me that would make Santy Clause blush. Ain't no surprise I eat as much as I do. Gotta fill the void someplace. Gotta get me stuffed in one hole if not the other.\n\nGawdamn. If you only knew how lonely I was. I'm /sooo/ lonely. I need a man in mah life. I need a whole lotta D! This donkey ain't got no prospects for anything else. I got nothin! Not a gawdamn thing! Just me and this here dick that nobody wants! Just tell me what ya need, man! You want me to crossdress or somethin'?! 'Cause I'll do it!\n\n[Orchestra blast]\n\nI'll wear panties and let you make fun of me and everything... as long as you make love to this butthole when you all through. I don't got no dinity after all this. Life just done and gone ripped it all away from me. Everybody's pointing and laughing. So if you want me to trus myself up in a silly fem outfit, then I'll fuckin' do it. But you got to promise me yer gonna take advantage of the situation. I got no dignity or pride, but I sure as hell got needs!\n\n[Orchestra blast]\n\nI'm not trying to force nobody or nothing. Just life's got me down. I spend every night all alone with nobody to cuddle or mess around with. It's not my fault that I'm just a nothin' donkey. Can't help the hand I was dealt. Just is what it is. But you know what? I'm gonna keep tryin'. Probably not gonna go nowhere, but I'm just too horny and desperate to care. This is my song and I got no choice but to sing it.\n\n[Sing]\n\nIt's not fair but I'm makin aware that I'm right here.\n\nAll my troubles come from being a donkey who happens to be queer\n\nI plant my seed all over the place and nothing will sprout.\n\nI guess there just ain't a place for a donkey like me [Shouts] and I can't just figure it out!\n\n-----\n\nThere ain't no fella ooout there for dumb ol' me!\n\nSearched up the highs and lows, but there ain't no one that I can see.\n\nNot on Facebook! Not on Twitter! Not on Grindr! And I really thought I'd find 'em!\n\nThere ain't no one there for Fag Donkey like me!\n\n-----\n\n[Sing] There ain't no one there...\n\n[Spoken] And I gotta tell ya, I don't think it's gonna get any better. No, sir. Not gonna happen. Story of my life.\n\n[Sing] There ain't no one there for an old faggot mule like me!\n\n[End.]", "description_bbcode_parsed": "The original song is called Tall Cotton. It was by the late, great Count Basie and recorded in 1975. The lyrics, however, were entirely written and performed by \n\t\t\t\t\tBuddyTippet I basically created lyrics for an instrumental piece that never needed any. That's just the sort of dumb person that I am. By the way, this is actually the majority of the music I listen to. I have always been into classic big bang jazz from the likes of Count Basie, Sammy Nestico, and Buddy Rich. It was fun making this.

The script is posted below!

Keep in mind that I, Buddy Tippet, also am an author of some very dirty books published on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Click here for a list of all of my books!

Also consider buying me a coffee to help keep me going.

https://ko-fi.com/buddytippet

Enjoy the show!


-----

[Music has a light opening that isn't appropriate for singing. Donkey will talk here as an intro.]

[Spoken] Hey there folks. Just a poor ol' mule here, one half donkey and one half horse if you will. Just showin' on up to lamment his life for all it's worth. Why not just sit a spell so I can tell you mah story. A warning though... it sure ain't a good one!

[Sing] There ain't no fella out there for an old faggot mule like me.

I've search up the highs and lows, but there ain't no one I can see.

Every time I find a man, All he does is smile and shake my hand

But there ain't no fella out there for an old faaaaaaaag <Moan> donk like me.

-----

There ain't no fella out there for an old faggot mule like me.

I've checked all the dating apps for someone that I can see.

It ain't fair cause I got needs that only a man can rightly please.

But there ain't no fella out there for an old faaaaaaaag...

[Spoken] And it ain't for a lack of tryin, lemme tell ya! Just nobody fuckin' wants me!

There ain't no one there for-a... dumb fag like me!

-----

[Spoken] I don't really know why it has to be this way. I'm not that ugly. And being a mule like I is, I can't even get one of them females pregnat anyhow. Might as well be gay as far as I can figure. Problem is that everytime I meet someone, it won't ever work out. Don't even make it into bed with 'em. I tried all the different apps on my celly phone. Tried that Grindr thing. Got a whole bunch of hits until I added mah picture. Don't even know what happened there. Can't a donk get some dick in his ass? What the fucking hell! What even is this? I got a cock. I got balls. Somethin' wrong with me? Seriously I'm asking! Is somethuing wrong with me? 5 foot 7. Dick's like a foot and 2. It ain't no horse dick, but I ain't a horse. You want a horse? I mean, I can role play a horse, but it ain't gonna make this thing any bigger. Come on, guys. What do ya want from me?!

I got needs man! I got big boy needs. I can't just spend my whole life on the internet looking at porn. I gotta be /in/ the porn once in a while. I don't even care what ya look like. Big and fat, don't care! I got a gut on me that would make Santy Clause blush. Ain't no surprise I eat as much as I do. Gotta fill the void someplace. Gotta get me stuffed in one hole if not the other.

Gawdamn.  If you only knew how lonely I was. I'm /sooo/ lonely. I need a man in mah life. I need a whole lotta D! This donkey ain't got no prospects for anything else. I got nothin! Not a gawdamn thing! Just me and this here dick that nobody wants! Just tell me what ya need, man! You want me to crossdress or somethin'?! 'Cause I'll do it!

[Orchestra blast]

I'll wear panties and let you make fun of me and everything... as long as you make love to this butthole when you all through. I don't got no dinity after all this. Life just done and gone ripped it all away from me. Everybody's pointing and laughing. So if you want me to trus myself up in a silly fem outfit, then I'll fuckin' do it. But you got to promise me yer gonna take advantage of the situation. I got no dignity or pride, but I sure as hell got needs!

[Orchestra blast]

I'm not trying to force nobody or nothing. Just life's got me down. I spend every night all alone with nobody to cuddle or mess around with. It's not my fault that I'm just a nothin' donkey. Can't help the hand I was dealt. Just is what it is. But you know what? I'm gonna keep tryin'. Probably not gonna go nowhere, but I'm just too horny and desperate to care. This is my song and I got no choice but to sing it.

[Sing]

It's not fair but I'm makin aware that I'm right here.

All my troubles come from being a donkey who happens to be queer

I plant my seed all over the place and nothing will sprout.

I guess there just ain't a place for a donkey like me [Shouts] and I can't just figure it out!

-----

There ain't no fella ooout there for dumb ol' me!

Searched up the highs and lows, but there ain't no one that I can see.

Not on Facebook! Not on Twitter! Not on Grindr! And I really thought I'd find 'em!

There ain't no one there for Fag Donkey like me!

-----

[Sing] There ain't no one there...

[Spoken] And I gotta tell ya, I don't think it's gonna get any better. No, sir. Not gonna happen. Story of my life.

[Sing] There ain't no one there for an old faggot mule like me!

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