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That almost gave me a scratch. I must be weaker in this world than in others. But who was it who ran into me? That honking sounded... somehow… familiar.\n\nGordy: [Distance] Daddy Nuke! Daddy Nuke! It's me! Gordy! Remember me?! Hellooo!\n\nNuke: What... How... [Calling to Gordy] Gordy, what are you doing in this universe?!\n\nGordy: [Distance] I ran into your car! Didn't you hear me honking my horn?!\n\nNuke: [Calling to Gordy] Why did you do that?!\n\n[Pause]\n\nGordy: [Distant] What?!\n\nNuke: [Grumbling to self.] Why am I doing this? [Calling to Gordy angrily] Come over here!\n\nGordy: [Distant but gets closer as he talks] Oh, that's a good idea, Daddy Nuke. I could bearly hear you from waaaay over there where I wrecked my car. I never drove one of those before. I usually just eat them. Vroom vroom! [dumb laugh] Hehehahaha.\n\nNuke: Gordy, why are you even here right now?\n\nGordy: [Yelling as if he was still distant] I told you, I ran into your car!\n\nNuke: Stop shouting.\n\nGordy: [Firmly, cheeful, excited.] Oh-kay!\n\nNuke: I left you back in the Black Smoke Hallway. How did you get here?\n\nGordy: Oh, I woke up and went looking for chocolate and internal organs. I found a door and went into it. I didn't expect to run into you though, Papa Nuke.\n\nNuke: [Annoyed] Of course.\n\nGordy: But where's Daddy Ferros? I wanted to pull his spine out and play jump rope with it. Ferrets have such fun spines. Hehehe.\n\nNuke: He's gone missing. I was looking for him until you ran into me.\n\nGordy: Oh! Did you find him?\n\n[Long Pause]\n\nNuke: [Trying to hold back rage] No.\n\nCivilian 1: Hey, look! It's the monsters from that radio show!\n\nNuke: /Radio/ show?\n\nCivilian 2: Everybody, we gotta stop them from destroying the city!\n\n[Angry crowd builds up]\n\nGordy: Look, Daddy Nuke! Yummy looking people I can murder and eat!\n\nNuke: [Serious] No time for that, Gordy! There's far too many of them. We're at a disadvantage. We'll have to make an interspatial leap to a random location! Take hold of my hand, Gordy!\n\nGordy: Okay, Daddy Nuke! Will it taste like ice cream?\n\nNuke: \n\n[Deep bass magic teleporty sound followed by explosion]\n\n[Theme song]\n\n[Appropriate comedy music for classic comedy radio show. Filters apply.]\n\nAnthony: Coming soon to Anthem Radio, it's everyone's favorite idiot ferret, Ferros!\n\nFerros: My secret formula is almost complete. I just have to add one more drop of compound three.\n\n[Explosion]\n\nFerros: Something went wrong!\n\nAnthony: Come join the fun as Ferros ruins everything over and over for your own personal enjoyment!\n\nFerros: Aha! Now I can spawn hungry mutant lions all over the world. Get ready to die!\n\n[Tons of lions]\n\nFerros: Something went wrong! [Explosion]\n\nAnthony: Laugh as he cries! Enjoy hours of violent comedy in The Stupid Ferret Show!\n\nFerros: Ah, what a nice and relaxing morning. I think I'll have some coffee.\n\n[Coffee drips for a bit and then explosion]\n\nFerros: Something went wrong!\n\nAnthony: Tune in soon for The Stupid Ferros Show only on Anthem Radio!\n\n[If music isn't finished yet, it is okay to sudden cut it off in the middle. Replace with static noise.]\n\nAnthony: [Voice is strangely filtered. Also he is dead serious here.] And if you happen to see a fat green tanuki and a monster rat running around. You should probably kill them.\n\n[Status clicks off]\n\n[Clock in background]\n\nFerros: What are you doing to me?!\n\nAnthony: Relax, I just have complete control over your mind is all. You'll get used to it.\n\nFerros: How can you tell me that and I still can't control myself?! This is madness!\n\nAnthony: As long as I have your quantum enhanced recording device, I will not only control you, but everyone in Radio Land. Now be a good idiot and run into that wall.\n\nFerros: \n\n[Thunk.]\n\nAnthony: Good boy.\n\nFerros: [Angry and sad at the same time. Feelings hurt.] You have no fucking idea the things me and my master will do to you for this. Nuke loves me! He'll give you a fate more horrible than you can even imagine.\n\nAnthony: I am perfectly aware of how powerful he is, which is why I am taking precautions. I am no fool, you idiot. When The Stupid Ferret Show finally airs, I will take full and complete control of this universe, and from there, I will begin spreading out like a virus to the far corners of the multiverse itself.\n\nFerros: No! That was meant for me!\n\nAnthony: You work for me now, idiot.\n\nFerros: \n\nAnthony: Admit to it. Admit that you are a stupid ferret and that when the time comes, you will turn against your master... and serve only me for eternity!\n\nFerros: [Really struggles to speak here.] AAH nhnnggg ughh! Duuuuhhhhhh! Yes... Master! I'm just a stupid ferret! I will turn...ughhnn… against Nuke... and serve ughnn only yooouuu!\n\nAnthony: What a little brown-noser you are. In fact...\n\n[Clothing sound]\n\nFerros: \n\nAnthony: How about you plant a few friendly kisses on my ass, stupid.\n\nFerros: Uughhhhh. Ughhh. I'm... I'm so stupid. Mmfmmmmsllllppppp.\n\nAnthony: How very pathetic you are.\n\n[Glitch sound followed by a disturbing ambi]\n\nNuke: [Very intense and angry. Breathing heavily throughout] What is this powerful presence? What is he doing to my dearest love? [Long Pause] A name. I need a name. What is your name! [Long Pause] Anthony. [Pause] I am coming for you... and I will not be kind.\n\n[Static interference and then end.]", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Nuke was played by \n\t\t\t\t\tNuke
Gordy, Anthony, and one of the civilians were played by \n\t\t\t\t\tqsharpe

The script is posted below!

Keep in mind that I, Buddy Tippet, also am an author of some very dirty books published on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Click here for a list of all of my books!

Also consider buying me a coffee to help keep me going.

https://ko-fi.com/buddytippet

Enjoy the show!


-----

[Loud metal crunch]

Nuke: <Grunting as he pushes a piece of broken automobile away.>

[Street sounds ambi]

Nuke: <Grunts grumpily> Well, that was annoying. That almost gave me a scratch. I must be weaker in this world than in others. But who was it who ran into me? That honking sounded... somehow… familiar.

Gordy: [Distance] Daddy Nuke! Daddy Nuke! It's me! Gordy! Remember me?! Hellooo!

Nuke: What... How... [Calling to Gordy] Gordy, what are you doing in this universe?!

Gordy: [Distance] I ran into your car! Didn't you hear me honking my horn?!

Nuke: <Annoyed groan> [Calling to Gordy] Why did you do that?!

[Pause]

Gordy: [Distant] What?!

Nuke: [Grumbling to self.] Why am I doing this? [Calling to Gordy angrily] Come over here!

Gordy: [Distant but gets closer as he talks] Oh, that's a good idea, Daddy Nuke. I could bearly hear you from waaaay over there where I wrecked my car. I never drove one of those before. I usually just eat them. Vroom vroom! [dumb laugh] Hehehahaha.

Nuke: Gordy, why are you even here right now?

Gordy: [Yelling as if he was still distant] I told you, I ran into your car!

Nuke: Stop shouting.

Gordy: [Firmly, cheeful, excited.] Oh-kay!

Nuke: I left you back in the Black Smoke Hallway. How did you get here?

Gordy: Oh, I woke up and went looking for chocolate and internal organs. I found a door and went into it. I didn't expect to run into you though, Papa Nuke.

Nuke: [Annoyed] Of course.

Gordy: But where's Daddy Ferros? I wanted to pull his spine out and play jump rope with it. Ferrets have such fun spines. Hehehe.

Nuke: He's gone missing. I was looking for him until you ran into me.

Gordy: Oh! Did you find him?

[Long Pause]

Nuke: [Trying to hold back rage] No.

Civilian 1: Hey, look! It's the monsters from that radio show!

Nuke: /Radio/ show?

Civilian 2: Everybody, we gotta stop them from destroying the city!

[Angry crowd builds up]

Gordy: Look, Daddy Nuke! Yummy looking people I can murder and eat!

Nuke: [Serious] No time for that, Gordy! There's far too many of them. We're at a disadvantage. We'll have to make an interspatial leap to a random location! Take hold of my hand, Gordy!

Gordy: Okay, Daddy Nuke! Will it taste like ice cream?

Nuke: <Rising growl>

[Deep bass magic teleporty sound followed by explosion]

[Theme song]

[Appropriate comedy music for classic comedy radio show. Filters apply.]

Anthony: Coming soon to Anthem Radio, it's everyone's favorite idiot ferret, Ferros!

Ferros: My secret formula is almost complete. I just have to add one more drop of compound three.

[Explosion]

Ferros: <Coughing> Something went wrong!

Anthony: Come join the fun as Ferros ruins everything over and over for your own personal enjoyment!

Ferros: Aha! Now I can spawn hungry mutant lions all over the world. Get ready to die!

[Tons of lions]

Ferros: <Screams> Something went wrong! [Explosion]

Anthony: Laugh as he cries! Enjoy hours of violent comedy in The Stupid Ferret Show!

Ferros: Ah, what a nice and relaxing morning. I think I'll have some coffee.

[Coffee drips for a bit and then explosion]

Ferros: <Coughing> Something went wrong!

Anthony: Tune in soon for The Stupid Ferros Show only on Anthem Radio!

[If music isn't finished yet, it is okay to sudden cut it off in the middle. Replace with static noise.]

Anthony: [Voice is strangely filtered. Also he is dead serious here.] And if you happen to see a fat green tanuki and a monster rat running around. You should probably kill them.

[Status clicks off]

[Clock in background]

Ferros: <Screaming.> What are you doing to me?!

Anthony: Relax, I just have complete control over your mind is all. You'll get used to it.

Ferros: How can you tell me that and I still can't control myself?! This is madness!

Anthony: As long as I have your quantum enhanced recording device, I will not only control you, but everyone in Radio Land. Now be a good idiot and run into that wall.

Ferros: <Screams which get farther away>

[Thunk.]

Anthony: Good boy.

Ferros: <Whimpering as he walks back> [Angry and sad at the same time. Feelings hurt.] You have no fucking idea the things me and my master will do to you for this. Nuke loves me! He'll give you a fate more horrible than you can even imagine.

Anthony: I am perfectly aware of how powerful he is, which is why I am taking precautions. I am no fool, you idiot. When The Stupid Ferret Show finally airs, I will take full and complete control of this universe, and from there, I will begin spreading out like a virus to the far corners of the multiverse itself.

Ferros: No! That was meant for me!

Anthony: You work for me now, idiot.

Ferros: <Struggles with himself>

Anthony: Admit to it. Admit that you are a stupid ferret and that when the time comes, you will turn against your master... and serve only me for eternity!

Ferros: [Really struggles to speak here.] AAH nhnnggg ughh! Duuuuhhhhhh! Yes... Master! I'm just a stupid ferret! I will turn...ughhnn… against Nuke... and serve ughnn only yooouuu!

Anthony: <Chuckles> What a little brown-noser you are. In fact...

[Clothing sound]

Ferros: <Trembling whimpers>

Anthony: How about you plant a few friendly kisses on my ass, stupid.

Ferros: Uughhhhh. Ughhh. I'm... I'm so stupid. Mmfmmmmsllllppppp.

Anthony: How very pathetic you are.

[Glitch sound followed by a disturbing ambi]

Nuke: [Very intense and angry. Breathing heavily throughout] What is this powerful presence? What is he doing to my dearest love? [Long Pause] A name. I need a name. What is your name! [Long Pause] Anthony. [Pause] I am coming for you... and I will not be kind.

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