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characters for the fake drama portion. The fake characters will be portrayed with F- in front of their name.]\n\n[Spooky old organ music. This section has an old radio filter on it.]\n\nAnthony: Deep in the heart of Dimension 634, two evil creatures plot mercilessly to destroy all we hold dear to our hearts. Can anyone stop these vile fiends?\n\nAnthony: In our last episode, Ferros the weasel had finally managed to create the most powerful of all diabolical weapons... the death ray! And deep within their secret lab, no one more nefarious than the evil magician Nuke the Radioactive Raccoon has laid out his plans for universal domination. Will they succeed?!\n\n[Lab ambi]\n\nF-Nuke: Is the death ray ready to fire, Ferros?\n\nF-Ferros: Yes, master! I'm making the final calculations right now. Soon, the universe will be trembling at your feet.\n\nF-Nuke: Excellent. I will call the President to ask for ransom.\n\n[Old phone pick up]\n\nF-Nuke: This is the evil green raccoon known as Nuke. Put me on with the President.\n\nF-Gordy: [Sounding even more idiotic than usual] Oh, boy! I hope Mister President shows up so we can have ice cream together. \n\nF-Ferros: Silence, Gordy! Mouse monsters need to know their place!\n\n[Pause]\n\nF-Nuke: Yes, Mister President. If you do not meet with my demands, I shall have my henchman fire the death ray that will bring the universe to its knees. [Pause] Why are you laughing? [Pause] You know I am fully capable of destroying... [Hang up.]\n\nF-Nuke: It seems Mister President is not taking us seriously. Prepare to fire the death ray!\n\nF-Ferros: Yes, master! Preparing to fire!\n\n[Old sci-fi science noise whirring]\n\nF-Gordy: Duh, I wonder if there is such a thing as cheese flavored death ray. I'm hungry!\n\nF-Nuke: Quiet, Gordy! Ferros, fire the death ray now!\n\nF-Ferros: Firing! Oh, no something went wrong!\n\n[Explosion. Silly music plays.]\n\nF-Ferros: Master, something went wrong.\n\nF-Nuke: What happened now?!\n\nF-Gordy: Wow! That cheese I put in the death ray turned the whole lab into cheese!\n\n[The next three parts happen simultaneously.]\n\nF-Ferros: Gordy!! You stupid mouse! You tampered with my death ray! How many times do I have to tell you not to touch anything!\n\nF-Nuke: Ferros, I told you having a mouse monster was a bad idea! See, this is why we can never conquer the universe! Now we have to start all over again!\n\n[Funny music gets louder as the yelling fades out]\n\nAnthony: Well, I guess they can always try again next week, folks! Although I wouldn't hold my breath. Haa haaaaa!\n\n[Fun music plays out.]\n\nFerros: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK EVEN WAS THAT?!!!! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!\n\n[Theme song.]\n\n[Inside car ambiance on busy street.]\n\n[Surly has a filter on]\n\nSurly: [Frustration] None of this was my fault, Nuke.\n\nNuke: This may come as a surprise to you, Surly, but I don't fully trust you.\n\nSurly: I had nothing to do with the three of you getting separated. Sometimes that just happens with the door system.\n\nNuke: Nevertheless, I have entirely lost my ferret and his monster, and I don't know anything about the world we are currently in. Also, why can't I communicate with him with the earpieces?\n\nSurly: They were only intended to be used across a dimensional divide.\n\nNuke: [Accusatory] You just made that up right now.\n\nSurly: Look, dimensional travel can be unpredictable sometimes. I can't seem to communicate with him either. Hell, he might have taken the fucking things off.\n\nNuke: He would never... [Pause] Actually you may be right.\n\nSurly: Why does it sound like you're in a car?\n\nNuke: I'm currently using my magic to will the car into motion, but it’s rough on it. I can only hope I can find some clue as to Ferros and Gordy's whereabouts before its framework melts down around me.\n\nSurly: Well, that's fucking weird.\n\nNuke: Please, Surly, do what you can to find them.\n\nSurly: Look, I got my own problems here where I am right now. I'll let ya know if anything comes up, but you're probably on your own for now.\n\nNuke: /Probably?/\n\nSurly: As in mostly. See ya later!\n\nNuke: That's just fine. I have my own methods anyways. But first, I'll need an unwilling sacrifice--\n\n[Honking getting closer and closer]\n\nNuke: \n\n[Car wreck!]\n\n[Fade to a room with ticking clock]\n\nFerros: What kind of bullshit show are you running here, you leaf-nosed prick!\n\nAnthony: [Calmly] My name is Anthony, and I'm not sure why you're so angry.\n\nFerros: [Angry] Of course I'm angry! You made me and my master look like idiots! You also made Gordy look even more like an idiot than he is, and that takes work! What kind of asshole bat are you?! How did you even know about our operation to begin with?\n\nAnthony: Oh, well, that's easy. Here, let me show you something.\n\n[Drawer opens. Object placement sound]\n\nFerros: Oh my... is that...\n\nAnthony: Look familiar?\n\nFerros: That's my recording device! I thought it was destroyed! I /saw/ it get destroyed.\n\nAnthony: Maybe it was. It's hard to say how these things play out on the quantum level. The point is, however, that I have it, and it has inspired our world's most popular radio show.\n\nFerros: [Very serious] Give it to me, Anthony.\n\nAnthony: No.\n\nFerros: You don't understand. I /really/ want that back. I'll do whatever I can to get it back.\n\nAnthony: Hmm. Ferros, this recording device has a strange power to it. Just holding it in my hand fills me with a strange power... a power I can use to captivate an entire world... and all I need to do is simply show the world how unbelievably stupid you and your master really are.\n\nFerros: [Trembling with hunger and rage] I'm going to murder you in that fancy chair of yours and then rape your fucking corpse.\n\nAnthony: Hmmm. Really?\n\n[Click. Strange noises with filter over it.]\n\nAnthony: But how are you going to do that when you're a duck.\n\n[Click. Sound stops.]\n\nFerros: Quack.\n\nAnthony: Sorry. Did you have something to say, Ferros?\n\nFerros: Quaaaack.\n\nAnthony: Heh. Oh, I'm going to make use of you, my little birdy.\n\nFerros: Quack quack.\n\nAnthony: And if I find your master. I'll make sure you both fall under my spell... and once that is complete... I'll have this entire universe eating out of my hand. Speaking of which... would you care for some bird seed, stupid?\n\nFerros: Quack quack quack!\n\nAnthony: \n\n[Radio static. End.]", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Anthony and Fake Ferros was played by \n\t\t\t\t\tqsharpe
Fake Gordy and Nuke was played by \n\t\t\t\t\tNuke
Surly was played by \n\t\t\t\t\tPervBunWalter

The script is posted below!

Keep in mind that I, Buddy Tippet, also am an author of some very dirty books published on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Click here for a list of all of my books!

Also consider buying me a coffee to help keep me going.

https://ko-fi.com/buddytippet

Enjoy the show!


-----

[In this audio, everyone will be playing the wrong characters for the fake drama portion. The fake characters will be portrayed with F- in front of their name.]

[Spooky old organ music. This section has an old radio filter on it.]

Anthony: Deep in the heart of Dimension 634, two evil creatures plot mercilessly to destroy all we hold dear to our hearts. Can anyone stop these vile fiends?

Anthony: In our last episode, Ferros the weasel had finally managed to create the most powerful of all diabolical weapons... the death ray! And deep within their secret lab, no one more nefarious than the evil magician Nuke the Radioactive Raccoon has laid out his plans for universal domination. Will they succeed?!

[Lab ambi]

F-Nuke: Is the death ray ready to fire, Ferros?

F-Ferros: Yes, master! I'm making the final calculations right now. Soon, the universe will be trembling at your feet.

F-Nuke: Excellent. I will call the President to ask for ransom.

[Old phone pick up]

F-Nuke: This is the evil green raccoon known as Nuke. Put me on with the President.

F-Gordy: [Sounding even more idiotic than usual] Oh, boy! I hope Mister President shows up so we can have ice cream together. <Stupid laugh>

F-Ferros: Silence, Gordy! Mouse monsters need to know their place!

[Pause]

F-Nuke: Yes, Mister President. If you do not meet with my demands, I shall have my henchman fire the death ray that will bring the universe to its knees. [Pause] Why are you laughing? [Pause] You know I am fully capable of destroying... <Groan> [Hang up.]

F-Nuke: It seems Mister President is not taking us seriously. Prepare to fire the death ray!

F-Ferros: Yes, master! Preparing to fire!

[Old sci-fi science noise whirring]

F-Gordy: Duh, I wonder if there is such a thing as cheese flavored death ray. I'm hungry!

F-Nuke: Quiet, Gordy! Ferros, fire the death ray now!

F-Ferros: Firing! Oh, no something went wrong!

[Explosion. Silly music plays.]

F-Ferros: <Coughing 10 sec> Master, something went wrong.

F-Nuke: <Coughing 10 sec> What happened now?!

F-Gordy: <Coughing 10 sec> Wow! That cheese I put in the death ray turned the whole lab into cheese!

[The next three parts happen simultaneously.]

F-Ferros: Gordy!! You stupid mouse! You tampered with my death ray! How many times do I have to tell you not to touch anything!

F-Nuke: Ferros, I told you having a mouse monster was a bad idea! See, this is why we can never conquer the universe! Now we have to start all over again!

[Funny music gets louder as the yelling fades out]

Anthony: <Chuckling> Well, I guess they can always try again next week, folks! Although I wouldn't hold my breath. Haa haaaaa!

[Fun music plays out.]

Ferros: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK EVEN WAS THAT?!!!! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!

[Theme song.]

[Inside car ambiance on busy street.]

[Surly has a filter on]

Surly: [Frustration] None of this was my fault, Nuke.

Nuke: This may come as a surprise to you, Surly, but I don't fully trust you.

Surly: I had nothing to do with the three of you getting separated. Sometimes that just happens with the door system.

Nuke: Nevertheless, I have entirely lost my ferret and his monster, and I don't know anything about the world we are currently in. Also, why can't I communicate with him with the earpieces?

Surly: They were only intended to be used across a dimensional divide.

Nuke: [Accusatory] You just made that up right now.

Surly: <Groan> Look, dimensional travel can be unpredictable sometimes. I can't seem to communicate with him either. Hell, he might have taken the fucking things off.

Nuke: He would never... [Pause] Actually you may be right.

Surly: Why does it sound like you're in a car?

Nuke: I'm currently using my magic to will the car into motion, but it’s rough on it. I can only hope I can find some clue as to Ferros and Gordy's whereabouts before its framework melts down around me.

Surly: Well, that's fucking weird.

Nuke: Please, Surly, do what you can to find them.

Surly: Look, I got my own problems here where I am right now. I'll let ya know if anything comes up, but you're probably on your own for now.

Nuke: /Probably?/

Surly: As in mostly. See ya later!

Nuke: <Groans> That's just fine. I have my own methods anyways. But first, I'll need an unwilling sacrifice--

[Honking getting closer and closer]

Nuke: <Bracing deep breath>

[Car wreck!]

[Fade to a room with ticking clock]

Ferros: What kind of bullshit show are you running here, you leaf-nosed prick!

Anthony: [Calmly] My name is Anthony, and I'm not sure why you're so angry.

Ferros: [Angry] Of course I'm angry! You made me and my master look like idiots! You also made Gordy look even more like an idiot than he is, and that takes work! What kind of asshole bat are you?! How did you even know about our operation to begin with?

Anthony: Oh, well, that's easy. Here, let me show you something.

[Drawer opens. Object placement sound]

Ferros: Oh my... is that...

Anthony: Look familiar?

Ferros: That's my recording device! I thought it was destroyed! I /saw/ it get destroyed.

Anthony: Maybe it was. It's hard to say how these things play out on the quantum level. The point is, however, that I have it, and it has inspired our world's most popular radio show.

Ferros: [Very serious] Give it to me, Anthony.

Anthony: No.

Ferros: You don't understand. I /really/ want that back. I'll do whatever I can to get it back.

Anthony: Hmm. Ferros, this recording device has a strange power to it. Just holding it in my hand fills me with a strange power... a power I can use to captivate an entire world... and all I need to do is simply show the world how unbelievably stupid you and your master really are.

Ferros: [Trembling with hunger and rage] I'm going to murder you in that fancy chair of yours and then rape your fucking corpse.

Anthony: Hmmm. Really?

[Click. Strange noises with filter over it.]

Anthony: But how are you going to do that when you're a duck.

[Click. Sound stops.]

Ferros: Quack.

Anthony: <Chuckling.> Sorry. Did you have something to say, Ferros?

Ferros: Quaaaack.

Anthony: Heh. Oh, I'm going to make use of you, my little birdy.

Ferros: Quack quack.

Anthony: And if I find your master. I'll make sure you both fall under my spell... and once that is complete... I'll have this entire universe eating out of my hand. Speaking of which... would you care for some bird seed, stupid?

Ferros: Quack quack quack!

Anthony: <Pleasant laughter>

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