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How can a normal sized rat become as tall as a building?\n\nDoc: It's simple, Jack. Imagine a regular sized rat, one as big as your fist.\n\nJack: I'm with you so far, Doc.\n\nDoc: Now multiple that rat a thousand times, even bigger than you can imagine.\n\nJack: [Dramatically thoughtful] I seeeee.\n\nDoc: Now take that bigger rat and picture him destroying the city, eating the population, shoving buildings into his anus, and using the local coliseum as a toilet.\n\nJack: Damn it, Doc, it all makes sense! But the question is... how do you destroy something that big and... ridiculous?\n\nDoc: Well, as it just so happens, Jack, I've put together a short film that should explain the most optimal way we can destroy the monster. But... we have a problem.\n\nJack: What sort of problem, Doc?\n\nDoc: The light bulb in my projector burned out... and unfortunately the giant rat monster destroyed the local light bulb store.\n\nJack: The fiend. It's almost as if he knew we were onto him.\n\n[Energy blast. Wall blows up and crumbles.]\n\nDoc: Good lord, Jack. That gopher just blasted that wall apart!\n\nJack: Hmmm. I never did trust gophers.\n\nFerros: I'm not a fucking gopher!\n\nDoc: My god, jack. The giant rat must have taught him how to say curse words.\n\nJack: [Aside] Just wait a minute, Doc. [To Ferros] Just who are you, and what do you want with Doc's projector?\n\nFerros: What the fuck are you talking about?! My name is Ferros, I'm a ferret, and I need access to your science lab! That giant rat out there belongs to me, and I'm here to take him out!\n\n[Theme song]\n\n[Black Smoke Hallway Ambi]\n\n[Page turn. Long Pause]\n\nNuke: You’re watching me right now, aren’t you.\n\nSurly: [Filter] Just curious what you think of it.\n\nNuke: Of \"Pack Rats of the Inside?\"\n\nSurly: [Filter] Of course.\n\nNuke: I find it very... interesting.\n\nSurly: [Filter] I thought you might. There's a squirrel in there that I think you will enjoy in particular.\n\nNuke: I would prefer you not spoil it, if you don’t mind.\n\nSurly: [Filter] Sorry. I just don't get a lot of feedback from people inside my world. I put it out there for people to read, but nobody ever says anything. It would probably sound like I was tooting my own horn, I suppose.\n\nNuke: I appreciate your situation, but you might want to let me read, for the moment.\n\nSurly: [Filter] Yeah, I get ya. You probably already know this, but I got Fluke safe and sound with me. Let me know if you want him back.\n\nNuke: Thank you.\n\nFerros: [Filter] For what? What did I do?\n\nNuke: Oh, Ferros. How are things going on your adventure?\n\nFerros: [Filter] Well, I found Gordy!\n\nNuke: Ah, interesting. I thought he was dead.\n\nFerros: [Filter] Well, having the Death Ray shoot directly into his mouth may have caused some unpredictable things to happen. Basically, he's a giant monster now.\n\nNuke: Fascinating. I assume he is causing a lot of destruction.\n\nFerros: [Filter] Yup yup! I've teamed up with two guys who have a lab. Anyways, I am building my very first shrink ray. You'd be so proud of me!\n\nNuke: I'll always be proud of you, my love. Keep me informed of your progress.\n\nFerros: [Filter] Yes, master!\n\n[Page flip.]\n\nSurly: [Filter] He's so cute.\n\nNuke: And I adore him for it.\n\n[Dramatic 50's music fades in]\n\nFerros: Okay, I just need to connect the power source, and this baby could shrink a city into a playset.\n\nJack: Did you here that, Doc? He's not a gopher after all.\n\nDoc: But how can we be sure, Jack?\n\nJack: Hmmm. There must be a way to find out the truth.\n\n[Long pause]\n\nFerros: So do you guys have some sort of brain damage or something?\n\nDoc: We can't tell. The giant monster rat destroyed the local hospital.\n\nJack: Damn it, Doc. It's like he already knew.\n\n[Loud Roar. Building collapse]\n\nFerros: Oh, fuck?! Gordy's here!\n\nDoc: It's like he already knew where we were!\n\nJack: He must be part gopher!\n\nFerros: Taking aim!\n\nGordy: [Hulked] CHOOOOCCOOLLAAATTEEE SPPPRRIINKKKLLEEESSSS!!!\n\nFerros: FIRING SHRINK RAAAAAAY!\n\n[Shrink ray noise!]\n\nGordy: \n\nFerros: It worked!\n\nDoc: Looks like the little noodle pulled it off.\n\nJack: [Dramatically] But at what cost, Doc?\n\nFerros: Seriously, what is wrong with you guys?\n\n\n[Silly vintage music]\n\nGordy: Daddy Ferros! I'm a giant monster! Wanna see me crush some building and stick little people into my butthole?\n\nFerros: Gordy, I shrunk you down.\n\nGordy: Nuh uh! I'm huge! I can roar... and... eat buildings... and pee on people.\n\nFerros: Gordy, I seriously just shrunk you back to normal rat monster size.\n\nJack: Maybe the rat monster is bigger than we can possibly imagine.\n\nDoc: I guess anything is possible, Jack.\n\nFerros: Uughhh. Never mind, Gordy, can you please eat these guys for me?\n\nGordy: Sure! I'm a giant rat monster! Raaarrrr!\n\nJack: [Struggling] AghhH! He's got me, Doc! I think he's... trying to shove me... up his butthole!\n\nDoc: As it just so happens, I have a short film I put together that will explain everythhaaahahHHHHHH!!!!\n\nGordy: OMNOMNOMOM\n\n[Messy eating sounds]\n\nFerros: [Happy] Now this is what I call entertainment right here.\n\n[Glitch sound and end.]", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Jack and Gordy were played by \n\t\t\t\t\tqsharpe
Doc and Surly were played by \n\t\t\t\t\tPervBunWalter
Nuke was played by \n\t\t\t\t\tNuke

The script is posted below!

Keep in mind that I, Buddy Tippet, also am an author of some very dirty books published on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Click here for a list of all of my books!

Also consider buying me a coffee to help keep me going.

https://ko-fi.com/buddytippet

Enjoy the show!


-----

[Dramatic 50's music]

[Jack should sound like Zap Branigan.]

Jack: I don't understand it, Doc. How can a normal sized rat become as tall as a building?

Doc: It's simple, Jack. Imagine a regular sized rat, one as big as your fist.

Jack: I'm with you so far, Doc.

Doc: Now multiple that rat a thousand times, even bigger than you can imagine.

Jack: [Dramatically thoughtful] I seeeee.

Doc: Now take that bigger rat and picture him destroying the city, eating the population, shoving buildings into his anus, and using the local coliseum as a toilet.

Jack: Damn it, Doc, it all makes sense! But the question is... how do you destroy something that big and... ridiculous?

Doc: Well, as it just so happens, Jack, I've put together a short film that should explain the most optimal way we can destroy the monster. But... we have a problem.

Jack: What sort of problem, Doc?

Doc: The light bulb in my projector burned out... and unfortunately the giant rat monster destroyed the local light bulb store.

Jack: The fiend. It's almost as if he knew we were onto him.

[Energy blast. Wall blows up and crumbles.]

Doc: Good lord, Jack. That gopher just blasted that wall apart!

Jack: Hmmm. I never did trust gophers.

Ferros: I'm not a fucking gopher!

Doc: My god, jack. The giant rat must have taught him how to say curse words.

Jack: [Aside] Just wait a minute, Doc. [To Ferros] Just who are you, and what do you want with Doc's projector?

Ferros: What the fuck are you talking about?! My name is Ferros, I'm a ferret, and I need access to your science lab! That giant rat out there belongs to me, and I'm here to take him out!

[Theme song]

[Black Smoke Hallway Ambi]

[Page turn. Long Pause]

Nuke: You’re watching me right now, aren’t you.

Surly: [Filter] Just curious what you think of it.

Nuke: Of "Pack Rats of the Inside?"

Surly: [Filter] Of course.

Nuke: I find it very... interesting.

Surly: [Filter] I thought you might. There's a squirrel in there that I think you will enjoy in particular.

Nuke: I would prefer you not spoil it, if you don’t mind.

Surly: [Filter] Sorry. I just don't get a lot of feedback from people inside my world. I put it out there for people to read, but nobody ever says anything. It would probably sound like I was tooting my own horn, I suppose.

Nuke: I appreciate your situation, but you might want to let me read, for the moment.

Surly: [Filter] Yeah, I get ya. You probably already know this, but I got Fluke safe and sound with me. Let me know if you want him back.

Nuke: Thank you.

Ferros: [Filter] For what? What did I do?

Nuke: Oh, Ferros. How are things going on your adventure?

Ferros: [Filter] Well, I found Gordy!

Nuke: Ah, interesting. I thought he was dead.

Ferros: [Filter] Well, having the Death Ray shoot directly into his mouth may have caused some unpredictable things to happen. Basically, he's a giant monster now.

Nuke: Fascinating. I assume he is causing a lot of destruction.

Ferros: [Filter] Yup yup! I've teamed up with two guys who have a lab. Anyways, I am building my very first shrink ray. You'd be so proud of me!

Nuke: I'll always be proud of you, my love. Keep me informed of your progress.

Ferros: [Filter] Yes, master!

[Page flip.]

Surly: [Filter] He's so cute.

Nuke: And I adore him for it.

[Dramatic 50's music fades in]

Ferros: Okay, I just need to connect the power source, and this baby could shrink a city into a playset.

Jack: Did you here that, Doc? He's not a gopher after all.

Doc: But how can we be sure, Jack?

Jack: Hmmm. There must be a way to find out the truth.

[Long pause]

Ferros: So do you guys have some sort of brain damage or something?

Doc: We can't tell. The giant monster rat destroyed the local hospital.

Jack: Damn it, Doc. It's like he already knew.

[Loud Roar. Building collapse]

Ferros: Oh, fuck?! Gordy's here!

Doc: It's like he already knew where we were!

Jack: He must be part gopher!

Ferros: Taking aim!

Gordy: [Hulked] CHOOOOCCOOLLAAATTEEE SPPPRRIINKKKLLEEESSSS!!!

Ferros: FIRING SHRINK RAAAAAAY!

[Shrink ray noise!]

Gordy: <Hulked screaming that slowly alters into little Gordy. He then pants goofily for 15 seconds>

Ferros: It worked!

Doc: Looks like the little noodle pulled it off.

Jack: [Dramatically] But at what cost, Doc?

Ferros: Seriously, what is wrong with you guys?


[Silly vintage music]

Gordy: Daddy Ferros! I'm a giant monster! Wanna see me crush some building and stick little people into my butthole?

Ferros: Gordy, I shrunk you down.

Gordy: Nuh uh! I'm huge! I can roar... and... eat buildings... and pee on people.

Ferros: Gordy, I seriously just shrunk you back to normal rat monster size.

Jack: Maybe the rat monster is bigger than we can possibly imagine.

Doc: I guess anything is possible, Jack.

Ferros: Uughhh. Never mind, Gordy, can you please eat these guys for me?

Gordy: Sure! I'm a giant rat monster! Raaarrrr!

Jack: [Struggling] AghhH! He's got me, Doc! I think he's... trying to shove me... up his butthole!

Doc: As it just so happens, I have a short film I put together that will explain everythhaaahahHHHHHH!!!!

Gordy: OMNOMNOMOM

[Messy eating sounds]

Ferros: [Happy] Now this is what I call entertainment right here.

[Glitch sound and end.]", "writing": "", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "", "pools_count": 3, "title": "Ferros and Nuke Beyond, Episode #2", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "audio/mpeg", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "2", "name": "Nudity", "description": "Nonsexual nudity exposing breasts or genitals (must not show arousal)", "rating_id": "1" }, { "content_tag_id": "3", "name": "Violence", "description": "Mild violence", "rating_id": "1" }, { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" }, { "content_tag_id": "5", "name": "Strong Violence", "description": "Strong violence, blood, serious injury or death", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "10", "type_name": "Music - Single Track", "guest_block": "f", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "1", "views": "88" }