\n\t\t\t\t\tqsharpeWebby Laurel was played by
\n\t\t\t\t\tNukeThe script is posted below!
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[Music plays in]
Robby: Welcome back to the program, folks. I'm Robby Fox and you're listening to the Robby Fox Show.
[Music]
Robby: We got a doozy for you this time, if you can believe it.
[Music]
Robby: Remember that time we brought an Otter on the show? //Yeah, pretty much the same one who has been living with me ever since.// Well, apparently there is an entire group of people who think otters are... a bit more than just a cute species of furry.
Robby: Don't get me wrong. I love 'em. Otters make the world a little brighter, at least in my opinion. And even Yours Truly has been having fun with one on a regular basis. But how far can one's dedication to otters really go?
Robby: You might have noticed that on the east side of town, there is a rather large building with the symbol of a webbed paw with a starburst in the center. That building hosts nearly daily meetings of a group known as The Sacred Webbies of Infinite Light. The individuals in this group like to call themselves Webbies after the unique paws that otters have.
Robby: As it turns out, these people have formed an entire religion. They see these cute little guys as gods among mortals. Although you shouldn't just take my word for it. Here in the studio is one of its members, Chief Webby Laurel, a squirrel. Thanks for coming in today, Laurel.
Laurel: Thanks for having me here, Robby. Hope you and RudderTail have been having a lot of fun back at your place.
Robby: I can certainly attest to that. You know, he's been asking me about The Sacred Webbies of Infinite Light for a while now.
Laurel: Oh, gosh. He's welcome at our church as much as he likes. Any otter who shows up will be treated like a god and worshipped both verbally and physically. There's no favor we won't do for them.
Robby: [Chuckling as he replies] Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
Laurel: Oh, I'd hope so. In my opinion and the opinion of all the other Webbies, we see otters as the one, true and perfect good in our world. No matter what they do, whether it is perceptively good or evil, it can only bring more light and love into the world, therefore making all actions made by an otter actually good.
Robby: Seems almost like a double standard. How can something be both good and evil at the same time?
Laurel: Oh, no. You don't understand, Robby. Nothing truly bad has ever come from otters. Their very presence on this planet is a blessing. And we should do anything and everything to make them happy. When an otter does something that most would think mean or cruel, we probably deserve it. We should let them do those things as much as they want and pray for their blessings in the future. Many of us even like when we are mistreated by them, though.
Robby: There were a few times RudderTail tried to be naughty at my place. One time I came home and found my bathtub filled with fish.
Laurel: [Squeeee] Oh my gosh! That's so adorable! I hope you let him use it as an aquarium!
Robby: [A little uncomfortable] Uuumm. Well... I needed it to actually... you know... bathe.
Laurel: [Judgmental] Well... you are not yet a Webby, so you don't understand. The way of the Webby is to let the otters do whatever they want. We firmly believe that if all the not-otters in the world let the otters do whatever they want, giving them infinite freedom, that this world would change to become a much better and wonderful place. A pure utopia... an /Ottertopia/ if you will. That is the actual goal of The Sacred Webbies of Infinite Light. It's sort of built into our title. Infinite freedoms for otters leads to Infinite Light.
Robby: I mean... making the world a better place is not a bad goal, to be honest.
Laurel: There is nothing any otter can do that's bad. Robby, you should really consider coming to one of our ceremonies. Bring RudderTail and apologize to him for taking away his aquarium. You should probably also let all the otters in the building anoint you with their holy seed.
Robby: [Uncomfortable] Uuuhhhh... that kinda sounds like bukake or something.
[Pause]
Laurel: [Energetic] Uh huh!
[Music]
Robby: Well, hey, I'll consider it, Webby Laurel. Either way, that's all the time we have for now. Thanks for listening in to another full episode of The Robby Fox Show. Tune in tomorrow for more fascinating content.
Laurel: [Rather seriously and with concern] Seriously, you need to let them cum all over you for your sins.
Robby: Have a good day, everybody!
[Music plays out. End.]