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\n\n[url=https://www.amazon.com/Buddy-Tippet/e/B07C4VBJN9/]Click here for a list of all of my books![/url]\n\nEnjoy the show!\n\n-----\n\n[Introductory music of some kind that is happier than it should be]\n\nFerros: Being a evil ferret henchman isn't only about being evil or being a ferret. The truth is that it's about being both evil /and/ a ferret. [Pause] Wait... Was that redundant? That sounded kinda redundant.\n\nbt: Yeah, it did kind of sound redundant.\n\nFerros: Oh, so it was /your/ fault! Cool, I get to kill you now.\n\nbt: What?!\n\nFerros: Don't worry, I was gonna do it anyways.\n\n[ZAP]\n\n[Music gets louder but then lowers down to nothing.]\n\nbt: Evil. Science. Evil and science. It seems you see it everywhere these days. But what really /is/ evil? I recently visited the very notorious lair and laboratory of Nuke Tanuki... and there I learned what true evil is. [Pause] And it's pretty weird.\n\nLet's all have a look into a day in the life... of evil.\n\n[Spooky windy noises playing lightly in the background]\n\nNuke: Yeah, I'm Nuke. It's short for tanuki. I'm a tanuki... green, radioactive... evil, I guess. Been this way for as long as I can remember. I think I might have been human once. \n\nI was a real hedonist at my peak. Ruled a few worlds. Made everyone put on 100 pounds or more. I like making people fat. /Really/ fat. You know like me. I'm fat. People should be fat. Also null. Null's hot.\n\nWhat's null? Seriously? It means not having any junk between your thighs. No vagina, no dick, no nuts. Well, maybe nuts. Don't look so horrified. You'll get used to it. Doesn't mean you can't cum. Just soaks through that nice, flat patch.\n\nI probably would have done it to Ferros, but he needs to blow off steam my sticking his penis in things. Oh right. Ferros. He's my one and only evil henchman.\n\n[Mad Science Lab ambi]\n\nFerros: Yeah, as it turns out, I'm the best henchman of all the henchmen he ever had. That's what he always tells me. Ferros, of all the many, many hanchmans I've had, you are the best. You never do anything stupid, and all the inventions you make never fail. That's a lot more than my last master had to say. Pffttt. He never appreciated me. At least, Nuke understands how good I am.\n\n[Spooky windy]\n\nNuke: Ferros is an idiot. Brilliant, but also a total moron. At least, I'm pretty sure he's brilliant. That's what the voices tell me. As a magical, demonic abomination from another reality, I don't know a damn thing about science. Still, his death ray seems promising, and he's definitely immortal. I've killed him enough times.\n\n[Mad Science Lab]\n\nFerros: It was a freak accident. You see, most people don't know this about me, but I am what you might call... heh... A death ray connoisseur. I'm always trying to make death rays just a bit more deathy and a little more ray-y every time I get a chance. But one of them caused me to get put in some sort of quantum lock, so everytime I die, I reverse back to a point in my existence to which I was zapped by the problematic death ray. It's a bit like turning melted ice cream back into froozen ice cream... only it becomes pain flavored.\n\nI know it seems really unlucky, but now I have a whole eternity to figure out how to destroy the universe!\n\n[Spooky windy]\n\nNuke: The voices come from the ether. I don't know much about them, but they tell me things. Like that Ferros has some way of releasing me from this damn flesh-prison.\n\nbt: ...flesh-prison?\n\nNuke: Yeah. Tanukis are natural shape-shifters. I used to be able to look like anything, travel anywhere. I could show up in your bedroom in the middle of the night. You'd never see me coming. I'd do whatever I liked to you, turn you into the ideal toy...round, fleshy, filling. I could open my jaws wide and snap you up in a single bite.\n\nbt: Um.\n\nNuke: That was before those goody-goody dwarf wizards got me. Stuck a rune-covered ring in my septum, magiced my dick off, and made me submissive. Guess they thought it was delicious irony, turning my favorite kinks against me. I'll admit, the first few centuries were fun, but I'm over it now. Ferros is my ticket to being the monster I was again. So far he's been... unsuccessful.\n\n[Mad Science Lab]\n\nFerros: Yeah he said something about wanting a monster again. I wasn't really listening at the time because I was busy jerking off. I guess he wanted me to make a monster or something, and that's where Gordy came to be. Ah... Gordy. He's so cute. Wanna meet him?\n\nbt: Um... sure.\n\nFerros: Hey Gordy!\n\nNGordy: [Distant] Yeah?\n\nFerros: Come over and talk to this itnerviewer guy!\n\nNGordy: [Distant] Okay!\n\nbt: Oh, he's a cute little rat.\n\nFerros: Heh heh. Sure he is.\n\n[Spooky Wind]\n\nFerros says he dug him out of a graveyard and did \"science\" on him to bring him back to life. I didn't really follow any of that, but, I have to admit... kinda like it. Gordy is kind of ugly-cute. Not very useful, but I added a few mystic enhancements to make him more fun.\n\n[Mad Science Lab]\n\nNGordy: [Cute] I'm Gordy. I'm a sneaky rat monster and I love everyone.\n\nbt: Everyone? Why is that?\n\nNGordy: Cause everyonne is made out of meat. Meat is my favorite thing to touch and look at. Boy oh boy. You look like you got meat all over you.\n\nbt: [Nervous] Uhhhhh.\n\nFerros: [Distant] You might want to run away.\n\nbt: Why?\n\nNGordy: [Hulking and becoming nastier] I... I wanna... ughh! Touch.. Ugh! YOUR MEAAT! Heh Heh Heh!\n\n[Body and bone snapping sounds as Gordy changes.]\n\nbt: [During hulk faze] Oh shit! Holy shit fuck!\n\nHGordy: Let me bite your arm off!\n\n[Crashes]\n\nbt: Get away from me!\n\nHGordy: BUT I LOVE YOU!!\n\n[CRASH!]\n\n[Spooky Wind]\n\n[Pause]\n\nNuke: Ferros?!\n\n[Distant crash]\n\nNuke: Is he dead?!\n\n[Distant crash and screaming]\n\nNuke: It's like having a kid sometimes. Only less charming, somehow.\n\n[Distant crashes and screaming]\n\nNuke: Damn it, do I need to come in there? I'll put a curse on you fucks that'll turn your dicks into buttonholes!\n\n[The sound of a mic getting bumped real bad] [Beep]\n\n[Mad Science Lab]\n\nFerros: Apparently I wasn't the first henchman who worked here. A cat, I think. He wasn't into science as much. Ah... His name is on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah. Vincent. He wasn't really into science. Something stupid called Yellow Magic. Not sure what Nuke saw in him. We had a few drinks together before he was fired, but the whole thing just sort of left me feeling bitter.\n\n[Street sounds.]\n\nVincent: I can neither confirm nor deny any association with the aforementioned ferret, silly meat puppet. I would say, however, that I would never debase myself to the status of... henchman. I am my own kitty when it comes down to things. I don't piss on anything unless I have full control over it's wetness... just like your shoes right now.\n\nbt: Oh crap.\n\nVincent: Don't worry. It'll come out... once you promise me your soul.\n\n[Spooky Wind]\n\nNuke: It just wasn't working out with Vincent. Just peeing on everything doesn't count as magic. I liked his gumption, though. I mean... when he peed on something... he put a whole lot into it. Like there was a sort of.. technique to it. It's hard to describe. Damn fascinating, though, and I'd be lying if it didn't keep me up some nights. But at the end of the day, I had to let him go. I actually sent Ferros to kill him, but he either bungled it or Vincent's just too clever. Either way, Ferros stunk like cat piss for weeks.\n\n[Mad Science Lab]\n\n\n\nFerros: After Nuke helped me escape from the planet of vicious military futa girls, he spent the first few hours killing me over and over and over again. He was really mad about something. Not sure what it was, but he stilled seemed pretty affectionate. Hey, is Gordy finished mating with you yet?\n\nbt: [Completely disgusted and groaning] Noooooo.\n\nFerros: Yeah, he can go on for hours sometimes. I'll go get the bucket. Trust me. You're going to need the bucket.\n\nbt: [Completely disgusted and groaning] Thank you.\n\nHGordy: [While raspily breathing] Hahhh you're my wife now.\n\n[Inspirational Music]\n\nNuke: You know, I've had my share of set backs. I've looked into the heart of darkness and returned with profound revelations. As it turns out, it's not as bad as people think. I mean... it's really dark. I wish I had brought a torch, damn it. I get that it's fucking evil and everything, but if you can't see the pain, suffering, and gratuitous gore, what's the fucking point.\n\nMy point, such as it is, is that I'm comfortable with who I am. I mean... I wish I still had a cock to stick in people, but I'm working on it. I'm talking about the more spiritual side of things. That thing that makes me who I am. That part's okay... although it /would/ be better with a dick between my legs.\n\n[Pause]\n\nHmmm. I wonder if I could temporarily turn Ferros into a cock.\n\nFerros: Look, let me just lay everything on the line for ya. I like me. I'm an evil ferret that absoltuely loves rape and murder. But method is everything, and I think we all can agree that there is no substitution for a giant, bulbous death ray to bring the world to its knees. Yeah... Death Rays. That's what I'm all about. Zzzzzzap. Gonna fuck this world up.\n\nNuke: Yeah, it would be hilarious to see his confused little face between my legs... My balls pumping semen through his guts until its spewing out of his gargling mouth.\n\nFerros: And you know the real reason I can get anything I want done in this world is because Nuke cares. He genuinely cares! He wants me to make my death ray!\n\nNuke: I want that fucking noodle to be my dick.\n\nFerros: And as long as I am working for him... I just know that I'll become something wonderful!\n\nNuke: A dick!\n\nFerros: Why do I feel funny. Ulp! Glub\n\nNuke: You're a fucking cock, Ferros!\n\nFerros: Ughh! Ughh! Glup! But why?!\n\nNuke: Because you're a dick, Ferros. MY dick, you noodly slut!\n\nFerros: HUP! BLLEHH! [spluttering, mouth full] I'm barfing... /cum!/\n\nNuke: You with the microphone! Ever been fucked by a Cock-Ferret?!\n\nbt: Uh, look. I think we should take a break.\n\nNuke: [Frustrated] Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've fucked something? Get over here before I turn your whole body into cake and feed it to a bunch of hungry children!\n\nbt: Oh god. This wasn't a part of the deal! AGGH!\n\nNuke: I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it further!\n\nFerros: Blub! Oh Gawd. That ass is TIIIIGHHT! MMFFF!\n\nbt: AAAHHH!!!!\n\n[Music gets louder]\n\nbt: [Exhausted and depressed] And so we finally leave these evil people to their evil acts. Despite under scrutiny by the world at large, it is clear that they still retain their love of all things bad as well as a genuine love of death and destruction. [Peeing sounds] This has been Buddy Tippet bringing you a Day in the life of ev... Uh...\n\n[Peeing sounds continue for a bit until they stop]\n\nVincent: Thank you for the use of your shoe, meat puppet. I'll be coming back for you later.\n\nbt: Wha?\n\n[Music wraps up. End.]", "description_bbcode_parsed": "HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2022!

Nuke was played by \n\t\t\t\t\tNuke:
Gordy was played by \n\t\t\t\t\tqsharpe

The script is posted below!

Keep in mind that I, Buddy Tippet, also am an author of some very dirty books published on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

Click here for a list of all of my books!

Enjoy the show!

-----

[Introductory music of some kind that is happier than it should be]

Ferros: Being a evil ferret henchman isn't only about being evil or being a ferret. The truth is that it's about being both evil /and/ a ferret. [Pause] Wait... Was that redundant? That sounded kinda redundant.

bt: Yeah, it did kind of sound redundant.

Ferros: Oh, so it was /your/ fault! Cool, I get to kill you now.

bt: What?!

Ferros: Don't worry, I was gonna do it anyways.

[ZAP]

[Music gets louder but then lowers down to nothing.]

bt: Evil. Science. Evil and science. It seems you see it everywhere these days. But what really /is/ evil? I recently visited the very notorious lair and laboratory of Nuke Tanuki... and there I learned what true evil is. [Pause] And it's pretty weird.

Let's all have a look into a day in the life... of evil.

[Spooky windy noises playing lightly in the background]

Nuke: Yeah, I'm Nuke. It's short for tanuki. I'm a tanuki... green, radioactive... evil, I guess. Been this way for as long as I can remember. I think I might have been human once.

I was a real hedonist at my peak. Ruled a few worlds. Made everyone put on 100 pounds or more. I like making people fat. /Really/ fat. You know like me. I'm fat. People should be fat. Also null. Null's hot.

What's null? Seriously? It means not having any junk between your thighs. No vagina, no dick, no nuts. Well, maybe nuts. Don't look so horrified. You'll get used to it. Doesn't mean you can't cum. Just soaks through that nice, flat patch.

I probably would have done it to Ferros, but he needs to blow off steam my sticking his penis in things. Oh right. Ferros. He's my one and only evil henchman.

[Mad Science Lab ambi]

Ferros: Yeah, as it turns out, I'm the best henchman of all the henchmen he ever had. That's what he always tells me. Ferros, of all the many, many hanchmans I've had, you are the best. You never do anything stupid, and all the inventions you make never fail. That's a lot more than my last master had to say. Pffttt. He never appreciated me. At least, Nuke understands how good I am.

[Spooky windy]

Nuke: Ferros is an idiot. Brilliant, but also a total moron. At least, I'm pretty sure he's brilliant. That's what the voices tell me. As a magical, demonic abomination from another reality, I don't know a damn thing about science. Still, his death ray seems promising, and he's definitely immortal. I've killed him enough times.

[Mad Science Lab]

Ferros: It was a freak accident. You see, most people don't know this about me, but I am what you might call... heh... A death ray connoisseur. I'm always trying to make death rays just a bit more deathy and a little more ray-y every time I get a chance. But one of them caused me to get put in some sort of quantum lock, so everytime I die, I reverse back to a point in my existence to which I was zapped by the problematic death ray. It's a bit like turning melted ice cream back into froozen ice cream... only it becomes pain flavored.

I know it seems really unlucky, but now I have a whole eternity to figure out how to destroy the universe!

[Spooky windy]

Nuke: The voices come from the ether. I don't know much about them, but they tell me things. Like that Ferros has some way of releasing me from this damn flesh-prison.

bt: ...flesh-prison?

Nuke: Yeah. Tanukis are natural shape-shifters. I used to be able to look like anything, travel anywhere. I could show up in your bedroom in the middle of the night. You'd never see me coming. I'd do whatever I liked to you, turn you into the ideal toy...round, fleshy, filling. I could open my jaws wide and snap you up in a single bite.

bt: Um.

Nuke: That was before those goody-goody dwarf wizards got me. Stuck a rune-covered ring in my septum, magiced my dick off, and made me submissive. Guess they thought it was delicious irony, turning my favorite kinks against me. I'll admit, the first few centuries were fun, but I'm over it now. Ferros is my ticket to being the monster I was again. So far he's been... unsuccessful.

[Mad Science Lab]

Ferros: Yeah he said something about wanting a monster again. I wasn't really listening at the time because I was busy jerking off. I guess he wanted me to make a monster or something, and that's where Gordy came to be. Ah... Gordy. He's so cute. Wanna meet him?

bt: Um... sure.

Ferros: Hey Gordy!

NGordy: [Distant] Yeah?

Ferros: Come over and talk to this itnerviewer guy!

NGordy: [Distant] Okay!

bt: Oh, he's a cute little rat.

Ferros: Heh heh. Sure he is.

[Spooky Wind]

Ferros says he dug him out of a graveyard and did "science" on him to bring him back to life. I didn't really follow any of that, but, I have to admit... kinda like it. Gordy is kind of ugly-cute. Not very useful, but I added a few mystic enhancements to make him more fun.

[Mad Science Lab]

NGordy: [Cute] I'm Gordy. I'm a sneaky rat monster and I love everyone.

bt: Everyone? Why is that?

NGordy: Cause everyonne is made out of meat. Meat is my favorite thing to touch and look at. Boy oh boy. You look like you got meat all over you.

bt: [Nervous] Uhhhhh.

Ferros: [Distant] You might want to run away.

bt: Why?

NGordy: [Hulking and becoming nastier] I... I wanna... ughh! Touch.. Ugh! YOUR MEAAT! Heh Heh Heh!

[Body and bone snapping sounds as Gordy changes.]

bt: [During hulk faze] Oh shit! Holy shit fuck!

HGordy: Let me bite your arm off!

[Crashes]

bt: Get away from me!

HGordy: BUT I LOVE YOU!!

[CRASH!]

[Spooky Wind]

[Pause]

Nuke: Ferros?!

[Distant crash]

Nuke: Is he dead?!

[Distant crash and screaming]

Nuke: <Annoyed sigh> It's like having a kid sometimes. Only less charming, somehow.

[Distant crashes and screaming]

Nuke: Damn it, do I need to come in there? I'll put a curse on you fucks that'll turn your dicks into buttonholes!

[The sound of a mic getting bumped real bad] [Beep]

[Mad Science Lab]

Ferros: Apparently I wasn't the first henchman who worked here. A cat, I think. He wasn't into science as much. Ah... His name is on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah. Vincent. He wasn't really into science. Something stupid called Yellow Magic. Not sure what Nuke saw in him. We had a few drinks together before he was fired, but the whole thing just sort of left me feeling bitter.

[Street sounds.]

Vincent: I can neither confirm nor deny any association with the aforementioned ferret, silly meat puppet. I would say, however, that I would never debase myself to the status of... henchman. I am my own kitty when it comes down to things. I don't piss on anything unless I have full control over it's wetness... just like your shoes right now.

bt: Oh crap.

Vincent: Don't worry. It'll come out... once you promise me your soul.

[Spooky Wind]

Nuke: It just wasn't working out with Vincent. Just peeing on everything doesn't count as magic. I liked his gumption, though. I mean... when he peed on something... he put a whole lot into it. Like there was a sort of.. technique to it. It's hard to describe. Damn fascinating, though, and I'd be lying if it didn't keep me up some nights. But at the end of the day, I had to let him go. I actually sent Ferros to kill him, but he either bungled it or Vincent's just too clever. Either way, Ferros stunk like cat piss for weeks.

[Mad Science Lab]

<HGordy is making creepy breathing for 20 seconds with small breaks throughout>

Ferros: After Nuke helped me escape from the planet of vicious military futa girls, he spent the first few hours killing me over and over and over again. He was really mad about something. Not sure what it was, but he stilled seemed pretty affectionate. Hey, is Gordy finished mating with you yet?

bt: [Completely disgusted and groaning] Noooooo.

Ferros: Yeah, he can go on for hours sometimes. I'll go get the bucket. Trust me. You're going to need the bucket.

bt: [Completely disgusted and groaning] Thank you.

HGordy: [While raspily breathing] Hahhh you're my wife now.

[Inspirational Music]

Nuke: You know, I've had my share of set backs. I've looked into the heart of darkness and returned with profound revelations. As it turns out, it's not as bad as people think. I mean... it's really dark. I wish I had brought a torch, damn it. I get that it's fucking evil and everything, but if you can't see the pain, suffering, and gratuitous gore, what's the fucking point.

My point, such as it is, is that I'm comfortable with who I am. I mean... I wish I still had a cock to stick in people, but I'm working on it. I'm talking about the more spiritual side of things. That thing that makes me who I am. That part's okay... although it /would/ be better with a dick between my legs.

[Pause]

Hmmm. I wonder if I could temporarily turn Ferros into a cock.

Ferros: Look, let me just lay everything on the line for ya. I like me. I'm an evil ferret that absoltuely loves rape and murder. But method is everything, and I think we all can agree that there is no substitution for a giant, bulbous death ray to bring the world to its knees. Yeah... Death Rays. That's what I'm all about. Zzzzzzap. Gonna fuck this world up.

Nuke: Yeah, it would be hilarious to see his confused little face between my legs... My balls pumping semen through his guts until its spewing out of his gargling mouth.

Ferros: And you know the real reason I can get anything I want done in this world is because Nuke cares. He genuinely cares! He wants me to make my death ray!

Nuke: I want that fucking noodle to be my dick.

Ferros: And as long as I am working for him... I just know that I'll become something wonderful!

Nuke: A dick!

Ferros: Why do I feel funny. Ulp! Glub

Nuke: You're a fucking cock, Ferros!

Ferros: Ughh! Ughh! Glup! But why?!

Nuke: <Laughing gleefully> Because you're a dick, Ferros. <More laughter> MY dick, you noodly slut!

Ferros: HUP! BLLEHH! [spluttering, mouth full] I'm barfing... /cum!/

Nuke: You with the microphone! Ever been fucked by a Cock-Ferret?!

bt: Uh, look. I think we should take a break.

Nuke: [Frustrated] Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've fucked something? Get over here before I turn your whole body into cake and feed it to a bunch of hungry children!

bt: Oh god. This wasn't a part of the deal! AGGH!

Nuke: I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it further!

Ferros: Blub! Oh Gawd. That ass is TIIIIGHHT! MMFFF!

bt: AAAHHH!!!!

[Music gets louder]

bt: [Exhausted and depressed] And so we finally leave these evil people to their evil acts. Despite under scrutiny by the world at large, it is clear that they still retain their love of all things bad as well as a genuine love of death and destruction. [Peeing sounds] This has been Buddy Tippet bringing you a Day in the life of ev... Uh...

[Peeing sounds continue for a bit until they stop]

Vincent: Thank you for the use of your shoe, meat puppet. I'll be coming back for you later.

bt: Wha?

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