\n\t\t\t\t\tPervBunWalterWriting, direction, and editing was done by
\n\t\t\t\t\tNukeThe script is posted below!
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August 15th.
Dear Uncle Kai,
Welp, the shine's off the apple! I was hoping for some wild parties and a big social scene, but so far, it's been a massive disappointment. It's like these people have never heard of a good time. Lelia and Bryce are way too focused on their studies to even get a beer with me. Who does all the required reading ahead of time?
What keeps it interesting are the curses people have got. That rabbit I mentioned before can only speak in iambic pentameter. I mean, it's kind of impressive, but also super annoying when you're trying to have a casual conversation. It goes something like this: "To class I go, my books I carry hence. Now I shall see you on the morrow, thence." or whatever. I know he can't help it, but man, how am I supposed to flirt like that?
I also heard about this cheetah. He used to be on the tennis team, but he picked up a curse related to his big kink. Legs, apparently. Not one I've heard of much, but I guess he can't be around them without turning into some horny slut. Might have to look him up later. It's probably true, too. Every time I spot him, he looks my way for a second, then down at my pantsless lower half. Then he just takes off.
Anyway, I'm bored and horny as hell. I figured that going to university would be an amazing opportunity to find some hot, horny classmates, but so far, nada. Zilch. Zip. It's driving me up the wall. There's got to be someone around here who's into fat, big-balled tanukis like me, right?
My hopes are still high, though. Maybe once classes really get underway, I'll find some fuck buddies among my fellow students. Hopefully, Professor Orvin's class will be filled with students more focused on experimenting than hitting the books.
On that subject, it really is interesting. I know I'm not the best student, and my attention span is about as short as a gnat's dick, but I'm determined. Yeah, it might be tough, but I'm up for the challenge. I'm excited for my first day of classes tomorrow. Bring it on, Merlin University. This horny tanuki is ready for anything you've got to offer.
Wish me luck, Uncle Kai. And don't worry—I'll keep you updated on everything. Love you.
—Doro