I woke up to the sound of light snoring, and a comfortable warmth against my chest. [i]Oh right, David wanted to stay over last night..[/i] I looked down at the grey cat cuddled up against my chest. I sighed and closed my eyes again. "Rye? You up?" I gave out a low groan, and a nod. I wasn't the best with mornings. He was. I could hear him giggle a bit, and felt him shifting upwards. Opening my eyes a little, I saw him face-to-face with me, a soft and genuine smile directed at me. "Thanks for letting me stay over last night, Ryder." If I'd been fully awake, I'd have known something was up when he used my full first name. As it was, I could only muster "No prob..." before he leaned in, closing the distance between us, and giving me a kiss on the lips. The memory of the kiss from last night flooded back to me, and I was alert in an instant, rolling off the side of the bed in confusion and hitting my head on the ground as a result. 

"Fuck! Ow..." I rubbed my head and heard David shuffle over to the side of the bed. "Oh my god! Ryder, are you okay?" I shook my head, as if to clear my thoughts like clearing an etch-a-sketch. "No, no I'm not." I raised up, looking at him with uncertainty. "You kissed me." I don't know what reaction I expected from David at that point, but it certainly wasn't the one I got. "Yeah...I did last night too but..you didn't freak out then. I thought it was okay?" I stared at him, not quite sure what to say. [i]Is it really that big of a deal? It was just a little peck. But he's never done that before...[/i] I furrowed my brow and looked him in the eyes, more confusion than any form of anger. "Why do it though?" He cocked his head to the side and smiled, his eyes closing in a happy expression. "Because I like ya!" [i]Because he likes me? There has to be more to it than that.[/i]

"Because you like me? David, I don't think people typically kiss each other just because they like each other." Now he looked confused. "But...I like you, and I wanted to do it, so I did. Rye, I know kissing's not just something you do with anyone, but you're not just anyone. You're my best friend." He gave me a smile, and it was hard to argue with his logic. [i]It...didn't hurt anything, right? It was just a way for him to show his thanks.[/i] "And besides, I can't help it if you're just so darn kissable!" My face went red, and I was certain he could see it under my fur. He giggled, looking at me. "What, didn't know? You have a super kissable face." I couldn't believe this. David was...teasing me? "David, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that stuff." His eyes seemed to sadden a little. "What do you mean? Rye, I know I'm not the first guy you've kissed, you've been with men before, so...what's bugging you about it?" How did he not understand? "Yeah, and I was dating them! You...You're not my boyfriend, my husband, not even my friend-with-benefits! You're my best friend, yeah, but best friends don't kiss! Most don't, at least..." I could see that I'd struck a chord in him, his expression softening and his eyes shifting to look at the floor. "Well...I could be if you wanted..I just thought that it was okay..even though I'm not." 

My eyes went wide. [i]Did he just...say he'd be my boyfriend? If I wanted? Okay, no. No, no, no, no, NO.[/i] "David, listen to me. I'm not entirely sure what's going on with you, but at the very least, I need time to process this. You can't just...say this shit and expect me to be perfectly okay with it all. I don't play that game." I kept my eyes focused on his, and when he refused to face me, I put a hand under his chin, lifting up to make him look me in the eyes. "David. I'm not saying no. I'm not saying never. But you can't spring this on someone and expect them to be perfectly fine with it right then and there. Last night I thought you were just exhausted and not thinking. Now I know the truth, and I need time to understand it and think on this. Until then, why don't you go home? You can take my truck. I don't have any work today anyways."

I could see the pain in his eyes, and watched as he stood, making his way out of the bedroom. I hated to see him this way, but all these years he'd never once broken into my personal space like that without knowing if it was okay, nor had he ever gone that far before. I couldn't quite think about how he was feeling at the moment. I lay back on the bed, hearing my door shut as I closed my eyes. [i]That really just happened. So...David's had a crush on me all this time? Or is it recent? Or did he just...decide he wanted to be more? Gah! When did this happen??[/i] I tossed and turned, thinking over what was said and what had happened, unable to make sense of it. [i]Why would he just...say something like that? David's never been shy or anything, why hide that from me?[/i]

I decided laying in bed was no use, so I got up and made my way to the kitchen, walking up to the fridge. I was greeted by a familiar sight, a photo from school picture day in fifth grade. David was only in fourth grade at the time, and back then he was one of the most shy kids in school. So shy, in fact, he refused to get his picture taken unless he could take it with his mom. Who wasn't there. Or available. She'd had to work that day, and I'd finally given in and taken the photo with him in her stead. It was annoying at the time, but looking back it was one of the first times he and I really noticed how close we were. I opened the fridge, looking through and deciding on one of the cheap steaks I'd set in there to thaw. While I cooked, I kept my mind focused on David, and what had gone on. I wanted to sort through this as soon as I could, and find out how I really felt on the matter. I didn't want to like it. I didn't want to be happy. I'd read so many sappy love stories, and seen so many crummy romcoms that I knew how stupid it was to act all giddy right away. I wanted to be sure it wasn't just the lack of romantic attention I'd had recently. 

I thought about it the rest of the day, and the next when David brought my truck back, taking a cab home. I thought about it the next day as well. A week went by, then another, all without hide nor hair of David. Having him be gone so long was...uncomfortable. I knew he was okay, I'd seen him working at the cafe the day before, but it felt wrong to not be around him. That feeling only got stronger the more we were apart. I'd decided I wasn't going to contact him until I sorted this out. If he called, or came by, I'd welcome his company, but I wasn't going to make the first move until I knew I wanted to. Finally, after three weeks of being away from him, I caved.

Dialing his number, I realized just how eager I was to hear his voice. How excited I was at the idea of seeing him again. [i]Riiiing....Riiiiiing.....Riiiiiiiing[/i] My heart sped up, the room getting warmer. [i]Riiiiiiiiiiiing.....Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.........Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing[/i] It seemed like it was taking forever for him to answer. Did he not want to talk to me? Was he ignoring me? [i]Riiiiing....Riii-[/i]

"Rye? What's up?"