Sponsored By Blobskin Contains: mlp, Derpy, macro pony, advertising Version: 2 --- Derpy Hooves finished off her coffee and washed down a last bite of muffin. That was it for breakfast. It was time for this gray pegasus to go to work. The naked mare put down her mug with an unusually large clunk on top of the warehouse roof where the rest of her dishes were. Her... employees? Partners? Friends? They had yet to agree how to describe their relationship, but Derpy personally preferred the term "friends". Anyway, the mare could trust that one of her "friends" would clean them for her while she completed her route. Just the thought of the day ahead made the pegasus yawn. Oh how she missed her old job. Delivering mail was so much more interesting than delivering... ads. Derpy's hooves left deep depressions in the soil as she stepped away from the warehouse and towards the dry dock nearby. Though this dry dock was not sunk into the ground or connected to a water source. The gray pegasus stepped between two almost free standing walls that were just taller than herself. The walls were lined with doors and walkways that were all much smaller than herself. She sighed. "Derpy Hooves is in position," she reported dutifully. Almost immediately two ponies emerged from one of the doors and stepped out onto the walkway just in front of Derpy and to her left. Looking down on her "friends" was a painful reminder of her condition after the accident. How she was stuck being large enough to hold as many as six ponies in one hoof. It made living her normal life impossible. Even paying for her meals was very difficult. But with some help from one of her "friends", a true entrepreneur earth pony named Quick Bit, they had found a way to make a living. Advertising. "Good morning Derpy!" the unicorn on the walkway greeted her cheerfully. "How are you this morning?" Derpy smiled down at the smaller mare, her eyes both managing to focus on her. "I'm good. What about you?" The unicorn, Neon, grinned back. "I'm having a pretty good morning myself. Ready to get suited up?" Derpy looked away and gave a bored shrug. She wasn't as excited as Neon. "Yeah, I'm ready." Oh how she missed her old uniform. The new one wasn't as comfortable. Neon's horn glowed with multiple rapidly shifting colors as she opened a door in the wall that was short but very long. A seemingly endless sea of cloth emerged. A pure white body suit that was meant to tightly hug every curve on Derpy's now very large body. With the unicorn's magic and the pegasus's obedient movements, she was quickly suited up. She looked ridiculous and it was only going to get worse. From a much bigger door down near the ground emerged a pair of pony sneakers, also pure white except for their thick black treads. The shoes were meant to minimize damage to roads and grass as she walked. Only Derpy's head and neck were free of the ugly white cloth. Though she had to respect this uniform because there was a good reason for the fashion disaster. The earth pony, Quick Bit, had been staring at a clipboard the whole time. He was completely lost admiring his design. Only when Neon was done tying Derpy's mane and tale back did she loudly cough to get his attention. The stallion was startled for a moment. Then took in the fact the huge pegasus was now ready for him. He cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Today's going to be a big day Derpy. We got us a great new sponsor this week whose looking forward to your services." His grin was filled with... greed. He wasn't a bad pony, but he was terrible at reading the room. Sometimes it seemed like he didn't care that Derpy didn't like being a walking billboard. However, his words got Derpy to raise a brow, even as her lazy eye gazed off somewhere else. "Who did we pick up this time?" "Princess Celestia's Royal Solar Guard!" Quick announced. Neon and Derpy gasped. A military ad?! The earth pony continued to grin. Quick pointed to another bay door on the opposite side of Derpy for Neon to open and retrieve the ads. They were all huge stickers designed to adhere to the pale cloth that now covered Derpy. It wouldn't be as white in a moment. Neon looked back and forth between the huge mare's body and Quick's outline to make sure she put each ad where it should be. The largest stickers, the military ads, were carefully stuck to both sides of Derpy's barrel. The prime real-estate that only the highest paying customers got. The other ads were then distributed based on payment across her shoulders, legs, and chest. There was an ad for roofing on her front just below her neck. There was an ad for shoes that was creatively placed right above each of her boots facing outward. The toothpaste ad went on Derpy's right shoulder. The pet hairbrush ad went on Derpy's left shoulder. The exotic mare lingerie ad was discretely placed beside the huge mare's tail. Finally, the uniform was complete. Derpy was thoroughly decorated in advertisements ready to parade by the roads and around the three closest cities. Derpy was a walking, living billboard. Quick Bit grinned with excitement. Neon tried to look happy, but couldn't help noticing Derpy's uncomfortable glances at the many stickers. Sure, this made a lot more money than using Derpy to pull huge amounts of cargo, but it wasn't her dream. Neon glanced at Quick and considered telling him, but she didn't yet have the heart to ruin this business venture, his big money making scheme. Neon sighed, put on a big forced smile, and began encouraging Derpy for her day. --- [i]Author's Note: Based on an image of a giant Derpy (I think) who took up a job as a living billboard. However, as soon as I started writing this short I began thinking, "would Derpy WANT to be a living billboard?" She's supposed to be a mailmare and love her job, right? I didn't want to say she was just a miserable wreck because I myself don't regularly enjoy stories whose only purpose is to take beloved characters and torture them, but I couldn't honestly see Derpy as "happy". So I aimed for a more somber tone. Like she is unhappy, but not necessarily miserable. Then I threw in some other original characters to be ambiguously her "friends". Overall, I don't entirely like how this one came out. I seriously considered going back and just making Derpy her classic bubbly self, "realism" be damned. But... I don't know. I myself have been in a dark mood lately and... I don't really want to change this. Also, the trio in this story could loosely be called a reference to the original trio I was going to have for Macro Mare Modeling Agency. In my first plans for that story I was going to have three ponies, one from each of the main types: an earth pony, a pegasus, and a unicorn. Though I never did come up with names for that original trio before scrapping them.[/i] --- --- --- No One Cares By Blobskin Contains: mlp, macro pony, fandom, sad Version: 1 --- [i]Colossus.[/i] The great towering mare of earth and devastation. Once a celebrity who was swarmed wherever she went. Today the mare who stood as tall as an elephant was bored. She lay on the ground behind her booth lazily propping her head up on a hoof. There had been a couple guests and even a few autographs. But the gray mare just wasn't as popular as she once was. She sighed. What she was couldn't even be called "popular". She had drifted into obscurity. There wasn't a lot of work for an over-sized pony to do outside monster movies, but the age of films staring giant creatures fighting for the right to destroy cities was over. The age of the "Superhero" had come like a storm. There hadn't been a giant monster movie in five years. And there had yet to be a superhero whose power involved becoming giant. So there was no place for her anymore. She was an actor with only one real gimmick and the world wasn't interested in that gimmick any more. Her fans had grown and moved on, leaving Colossus alone at her booth which was moving increasingly to the edges of conventions. Soon she probably wouldn't even be able to afford a stand at the smallest cons. Colossus looked at the tiled floor in front of her stand. No line. No visitors for several minutes. Should she give up on the celebrity thing? Simply admit that her golden days were behind her? The merchandise she had ready to sell... wasn't selling. She hadn't managed to sell a full box of anything in two years. So why did she bother trying anymore? For her few remaining die-hard fans? Because she didn't want to admit she was irrelevant now? Probably a little bit of both if she was being honest. --- --- --- The Last Barrier By Blobskin Contains: mlp, drama, philosophy, comedy, macro, insertion Version: 1 --- The atmosphere in the Control Room was a dark mix of despair, rage, and embarrassment. The room was large and arranged like a staircase with the back of the room higher than the front. There were four levels each lower than the previous as you moved down the shallow steps toward the front screen which covered the entire wall. Each level was lined with computer terminals and their respective operators. The overhead lights were dim at the moment, so most of the ponies in the room were only illuminated by the red flashing alerts from their screens. At the front of the room was a single slim pony in a button shirt standing straight and stoic. His cutie mark was the top half of a star with the bottom half seeming to dissolve into smaller fragments. Star Dust was the head of the Space Program. A genius in multiple fields of science. Star Dust cleared his throat and turned away from the main screen to address the room of distressed ponies. Some of the brightest minds in the world were in that room waiting for his order. "Gentlemen," he began with a sagely nod. "We ponies have faced innumerable barriers in our journey of evolution." He gazed around the room, judging whether he'd managed to capture all of their attention. He hadn't, but he would. "Once upon a time our kind lived in caves and feared the teeth of predators. It took muscle, wings, and horn to overcome that weakness. Once the separate races of pony were divided. It took a war and a brutal century long winter to cure us of that weakness. Once we were ruled by the false gods, the alicorns, and our great intellect was held back by their ignorance and conservatism. It took us two thousand years to muster the strength to overcome that weakness. "For as long as any pony can remember we have struggled against the barriers of nature itself to reach higher levels of existence. To obtain knowledge and understanding that always rivals that our previous best could ever obtain. The universe has always seemed like it was designed to hold us down, filled with obstacles to keep us in our primitive caves. But our kind did not get where it is today by cowering in the dark!" he suddenly yelled, definitely getting the last few ponies in the room to look at him instead of their screens. Star Dust began to pace on the bottom level of the room from one side to the other, head still held high and proud. "We have proven time and again that we are more than animals. We are sentient beings capable of far more than base instinct and emotion. We sculpted intellect and reason with our own hooves and created nations. We crafted tools. We harnessed electricity. We split the atom. And now we strive for the final frontier: space!" He stopped with a loud stomp and a dramatic turn toward his audience. "For countless millennia our kind has looked to the skies and wondered what mysteries hid in the dark spaces between the stars. Yet our progress towards ever greater feats has once again been blocked. Another obstacle has arisen to prevent our ascension to the outer limits. It is this next weakness that we must overcome, and that we WILL overcome. Because we are ponies and that is what ponies do. We conquer. We break through barriers. We become greater." Star Dust didn't expect an applause, but the complete silence he received for his motivating speech was a bit insulting. Instead, everypony immediately returned their attention to the main screen. The scene it displayed was... A pony as large as a skyscraper, one of the infamous Titans, was currently using the space shuttle as a dildo. About two-thirds of the rocket were buried in her pussy right now as she crouched over the launch sight. Her feminine juices were flooding the empty field and washing away the ruins of support vehicles and structures she'd crushed earlier. Her eyes were rolling back in her head as she built towards her orgasm and the air was filled with both her musk and her lustful moans. Luckily the sound in the Control Room had been muted a minute or so after the... show... started. Needless to say, the launch was aborted. --- --- --- Dealing With Size-Shifters 1 By Blobskin Contains: mlp, size-shifters, realism, dark Version: 1 --- [i]Author's Note: After publishing my short story "Big Mares Don't Need You" I got into a bit of back-and-forth about the world building with an interesting fellow. While I really didn't give the world of the story much thought when I wrote it, this guy was REALLY interested. Here I like to think of myself as a professional with a high degree of skill, but this guy was asking basic questions and I only had the dumbest answers to offer. So embarrassing. So I started to really think about it. How would the military/government deal with size-shifters? What are realistic counter-measures? I came up with two simple solutions. Here is one of them.[/i] --- Single Leaf lazed on the couch. His gentle snoozing filled the air. The earth pony dreamed of his next giant rampage. Maybe somewhere with wider streets. Yes. He mumbled something as he squirmed and adjusted himself to get more comfortable. It had been a good day of destruction and he certainly needed his rest now. In the time it would have taken Leaf to blink he had been violently yanked off the couch, thrown to the floor, and a heavy weight snapped around his neck with a loud metallic clunk. The stallion was suddenly awake and wildly looking for his attacker. But... the room was empty? He was the only one there. Then they appeared. As though a cloth had been pulled down, the room was filled with ponies in S.W.A.T. uniforms. And a particularly large pony was sitting on Leaf's back with an angry scowl on his face. "You have the right to keep your mouth shut!" the officer barked. For a moment Leaf was speechless. Then he snorted. Then he laughed. "You're actually trying to arrest me?" "If you cannot afford an attorney, then that's too bad for you," the presumed commander of the squad continued. Leaf rolled his eyes. "Stupid little ponies," he grumbled. "You have five seconds to get off me and beg for mercy. I might even give you a few seconds head start before I start--" the rest of his mocking was cut off when a large hoof grabbed the back of his head and slammed his muzzle into the wooden floor below. "You are charged with mass destruction of public and private property, mass murder, reckless--" Leaf roared with rage. "That's it!!" Then he began to grow. The rampage was going to start again and his first victims would be these idiot law ponies who dared to challenge a size-shifter! He would stomp them. And crush them. And eat them. He was a god and he would not be denied his right to do whatever the HELL he wanted!! Leaf's expansion rapidly came to an end when an unbearable pressure squeezed his neck from all sides. The earth pony glanced down in confusion at why he suddenly couldn't breathe and was stunned to find a huge metal collar fastened around his throat. The thing was made of thick steel. If he'd been standing the weight alone would have pulled most ponies to the ground in seconds. But Leaf was a size-shifter! He cracked the pavement when he walked. He ripped open busses like they were tin cans. This thing was a flimsy piece of wet tissue paper to him! So he tried to grow again and snap the worthless thing. It didn't work. His growth halted once more and he couldn't get any air. Pain radiated to his whole head from his neck and dark spots started to appear in his vision. He struggled and squirmed, but he couldn't even get his hooves free from the officers to grapple with the collar. He could only vaguely make out their words as unconsciousness threatened to take him. "He's still trying to grow? He'll kill himself at this rate." "The second lesson when dealing with size-shifters private, they're stupid." "What's the first lesson?" "They're as helpless as anypony else as long as they're small." --- --- --- Dealing With Size-Shifters 2 By Blobskin Contains: mlp, size-shifters, realism, dark Version: 1 --- Golden Petal stirred her morning tea with a pleasant smile on her face. Around and around the spoon went as it glowed in her beautiful gold aura. Then she levitated the spoon out of the mug, tapped the rim twice, and set the metal utensil aside. The happy mare inhaled deeply the delicious scent. Then she took a sip. Perfect. Like herself. She filled her mouth with more of the precious tea and basked in the euphoria that rushed through her body. Petal's eyes drifted closed and her mind wandered away from the now. What should she do today? The big question that had plagued her every morning for the last month. Ever since she had discovered she was a size-shifter. That day had been chaotic and scary, but the door was now opened for her... to be free. The world and everypony in it now belonged to her. Nothing but her playthings. Her boss? Crushed underhoof. Her two ex-boyfriends who'd gone on to wed other mares? All four ponies were nothing but shit in her toilet when she was done with them. That stupid bitch at the local grocery store always claiming her coupons were expired? Petal had decided she didn't need her limbs anymore. Those ugly billboards that blocked her view of the sunset? Rubble. Not to mention the random one-off events she couldn't even recall. Like that time she totally caught a stallion eyeing her flanks. She enjoyed crushing him slowly. His screams were funny. Everywhere she went ponies fled these days. Even her apartment. All the other residents had disappeared. Probably because she had ripped the landlord in half. Golden Petal wasn't interested in paying her rent anymore was all. Why didn't the others thank her? Ungrateful. Oh well. Thinking about the past wasn't answering the current question. What should she do today? She didn't have to work anymore. She could just take whatever she wanted and crush anypony stupid enough to try and stop her. She didn't have any more grudges to deal with. Was there anypony left she didn't like? Sometimes having absolute power could leave you totally bored. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a whizzing noise that seemed to fly right behind her. Like a bee going very fast. Or a gnat. And there was a sensation of being poked in the ear. Golden Petal grunted and raised a hoof to rub her now mysteriously aching ear. Before she even touched it she felt an abrupt headache hit her and a numbness in her face. It made her pause as her thoughts next started to cloud. Like she had been drugged or something. The mare eyed her tea. Huh? Where was her mug? She had just been holding it. Her gaze drifted to the floor as her vision began to darken. Who closed the blinds? Her mug was shattered on the floor and her precious drink was everywhere. What a mess. Wait... why was there red on her chest? Blood? She always showered after going on a rampage. She couldn't have missed it. Where did that blood come from? She followed the steady stream of crimson up her neck and realized... it was coming from her head. Specifically her ear. Petal touched her ear and felt a squish even as her senses all began to dull. She was barely able to glance at her hoof now soaked in blood before... "Confirmed, target is down. Good shot Strike One. You saved a lot of lives today." The bolt-action clicked as the stallion pulled back the lever and a single casing was ejected. He then pressed the button on his headset to respond. "Copy that. It was my pleasure." The sniper then began taking apart his rifle and returning it to its case. Another successful operation. Too bad it had taken so long to get the paperwork through. If the monster had been a bit more aggressive the kill order would have come through much sooner. Damn bureaucrats. Only really cared when they started losing tax revenue or voters. Or when they were the ones the size-shifters targeted. --- --- --- [i]Author's Note: And the second episode of "how would the real world deal with size-shifters". I actually found myself wanting to explore this idea even more with a short about a size-shifter who is afraid of their powers and has to visit a psychologist every week to constantly monitor them. Or a short about a celebrity who is a size-shifter and how they use their power in movies. But I stopped myself here. Can't go down that rabbit hole right now. I do like these two flash fics though. I always hated the idea that just because something is large magically makes it invulnerable. So it is cathartic to show "macros" who are not invincible and getting what they deserve for their cruelty.[/i] --- --- --- Princess of Mants By Blobskin Contains: mlp, micro humans, Celestia, Twilight, parody Version: 1 --- [i]One week after Twilight became an alicorn...[/i] Twilight stepped into Celestia's personal chambers with a nervous gulp. Being called to your teacher's room was usually a very good thing or a very bad thing. Twilight wasn't sure which this was yet. So her new wings fidgeted and her eyes jumped from one object to another. "In here my faithful student," Celestia's heavenly voice called from the next room. Twilight perked up and quickly made her way to the open door. Celestia didn't sound mad at all, so that was a good sign. The violet mare emerged in the princess's study. Filled with books, a large fireplace, and a comfy lounging carpet, the space was particularly nostalgic. Where was the solar monarch of the sun though? "Come here Twilight," Celestia called again. "I have something I'd like to show you." Twilight couldn't help the rise of curiosity. Tucked into the corner of the room was what looked like a large fish tank, but it clearly didn't have any water in it. This was new. What did her teacher want her to see? The pony approached slowly. The reveal was both amazing and confusing. "Ants?" Twilight blurted in confusion. Celestia giggled and shook her head. "No my loyal student. These are creatures called Mants. Tiny bipedal beings from another realm." Twilight blinked in shock. "I've never heard of these creatures." She leaned in close to the glass and focused on a group of the creatures as they seemed to... look back at her. They were bipedal alright and seemed to have very pale shells. These strange bugs didn't have antenna or compound eyes. In fact, if she didn't know better, their heads had manes and normal eyes like a pony. "What are they? These are the most peculiar insects I have ever seen." "That is because they are not insects at all," Celestia explained with a smile in her voice. "On their homeworld they are known as 'Humans', however I have come to calling them 'Mants' once they enter our realm. In their world they would be proportionally a bit taller than us ponies, but as you can see there is some kind of magical phenomenon at work whenever they cross into ours." Twilight gasped and turned back to her teacher. "Is it a curse?!" she blurted. Was this why Celestia summoned her? To cure these poor creatures? The white alicorn shook her head. "No my dear Twilight, they will be restored the moment they return to their world. The same is true for us as well." Twilight felt her jaw drop. "We would shrink if we went to their world?" Celestia shook her head. "No. We would emerge in their world as titanic beings. Your mere steps would create earthquakes." Twilight stepped back and gaped. "Wow," she mumbled. Then it finally hit her. "Wait, another world?!" Celestia tittered. "Yes, Twilight. Other worlds exist and there are a few means of reaching them." Twilight's mouth opened and closed several times like a stranded fish. So Celestia continued. "This is the matter I would like to discuss with you. The responsibility I now believe you are ready to undertake." "Wha-? New responsibility?" "Yes. You are an alicorn now and therefor a princess. But every monarch needs a territory and subjects to rule. I have done the hard part of finding you some land to guide and adorable little creatures to lead into a glorious new age." Twilight's neck squeaked like a rusty iron gate as her gaze drifted to the... mants in the tank. "My... subjects?" "No need to thank me Twilight," Celestia gushed with a big grin. "And don't worry, you'll do fine as the new Princess of Mants." "Princess of Mants?" Twilight echoed in disbelief. --- --- --- [i]Author's Note: In case you've never heard of it, there is a subgroup of the macro/micro fandom that calls little humans mants. Usually they are only men, hence the name, but whatever. Thought it'd be funny to make a little reference to it. This was supposed to be stupid. So if you think that, then I succeeded.[/i] --- --- --- Rampage Addiction Therapy By Blobskin Contains: mlp, macros, funny, references, therapy Version: 1 --- Broken Quill made his way through the empty fields and over the small hills. The clouds were still in the blue sky above the pony's head and the temptation to fly up and move them was strong. But the pegasus didn't have time for that right now. He had a... [i]meeting[/i] to get to. He gave his blood red mane a flick and ignored the sweat that was building up in his black fur as he trudged toward his destination. He came to the top of a larger hill and spotted one of his fellow students. He didn't know her very well, but that odd color scheme was unforgettable. A baby blue mane and a coat of golden brown. Baroness Moonstone. Unicorn and total bitch. At least he wouldn't be alone on his way to class. He hurried down the hill, cutting grooves in the delicate ground as he did so. Not that he cared or anything. "Hey Moonstone!" he called. Her ear perked and her head snapped in his direction. "That is BARONESS Moonstone to you," she snorted and turned her nose up. Quill rolled his eyes and stepped up beside her. "Yeah yeah your highness." "And commoners are supposed to either lead the way or stay behind those of royal blood," she growled. "To stand beside me is to--" "Not one of your subjects," Quill cut her off with a smirk. "I can stand where I want." Moonstone glared and her lip quivered. "I aught to tear out your... your..." "Mane?" he offered teasingly. Moonstone huffed and looked away. "You are insufferable." "That's me!" he cheered with a smug grin. "The Insufferable Lord of Broken Quills!" Moonstone eyed him from under her mane. "Your humor is truly that of a court jester." Quill didn't know if that was supposed to be a compliment or not, but he felt he had antagonized the mare enough. So he didn't respond. The two of them walked together in silence for a while. There was no road to their destination. It was an isolated place. And for... good reason. He guessed. "Why are we doing this?" Moonstone asked suddenly. Quill raised a brow. "I don't know. Because we want to become better ponies?" "Is that why you are going?" Moonstone glanced at him incredulously. He thought about that for a moment. "I... think so. I don't know. Isn't that why you're going?" Moonstone's eyes widened in surprise at him tossing the question back at her. Then she looked away. "My lands are... failing. The ponies are leaving in large numbers. Soon I will be the baroness of empty towns. Some pathetic fool told me that the cause was my... recreational activities." She swallowed. "I want to rule. So I must be... cured." Quill blinked in surprise. It took a lot for a proud pony like her to admit she needed to change. Impressive. She knew why she was going, yet he didn't? This total bitch could describe in detail why she needed this lesson and all he could say was "I want to be a better pony"? His ears dropped and he bit his lip. What did that say about him? He wasn't stupid. While he was lost in his thoughts they arrived. A patch of rocky terrain. Dirt and stones making up a circle almost a kilometer wide. Six stones in particular were large enough for the ponies attending today's meeting to use as seats. Two ponies were already here when Moonstone and Quill arrived. Already seated and already talking. The third student was another mare named Mellow Doll. The name suited her well from what he knew of her personality. Her mane was chocolate brown and her coat was a dark blue, almost purple. Mellow's eyes were always half-lidded. Even now. The fourth pony was not a student, but the teacher. A changeling with a pink shell and large compound green eyes. Miss Azalea. The only thing he knew about her was the name. Miss Azalea stood from her rock seat and clapped twice. "Good, the other two have arrived. Should we do introductions?" Quill chuckled. "I've already met Moonstone and Mellow before. Plus, I don't think any of us needs an introduction. We all have a bit of a reputation you know." Moonstone huffed once. "Well I haven't met this 'Mellow' before and it is only proper for royalty to be announced upon entering a room." Azalea nodded to Moonstone. "I think we should do introductions just to be safe. That way nopony feels left out. Who should go first?" Mellow just blinked slowly and silently. Quill shrugged, not really caring. That left Moonstone and Azalea to stare at each other, having a silent debate who should be first. The teacher or the royal. Eventually Azalea conceded with a nod and Moonstone proudly raised her head and cleared her throat. "I am Baroness Moonstone!" she declared. There was an awkward silence after that and the mare shifted uncomfortably upon realizing she was expected to say something more. But before she could the only stallion in the group decided to jump in. "My name is Broken Quill!" he shouted and raised a hoof dramatically. Moonstone glared at him as he held the pose and Azalea giggled. Then the teacher glanced at the last mare. The blue mare sighed in boredom or disgust. "Mellow Doll. Happy to be here." She sure didn't sound happy to be here. "And I will be your spirit guide through this journey. You may call me Miss Azalea. I look forward to our time together." Her smile was so genuine and friendly. Her voice was overflowing with kindness and understanding. She made Quill cringe. "How long is this going to take?" Mellow asked. "That depends on you," Azalea explained patiently. "These lessons will be as long or short as they need to be to help you three." Quill glanced at the two empty seats in their... classroom? "We're the only students?" "For now," Miss Azalea nodded. "The last two..." she looked down sadly, "canceled. So we're going to have some empty seats." There was a brief period of silence before the changeling took a breath and clapped her hooves. "Alright, let's get started. The first thing we need to do is realize why we are all here." Why did that question make Quill uncomfortable? "We know why we're here," Mellow mumbled. Azalea nodded. "Yes, but I think it would be a big help to the others if each of you [i]stated[/i] why you are here." Mellow rolled her eyes and spoke with the most monotone voice he had ever heard. "We are here because we each have an addiction to rampaging in little pony cities." Miss Azalea nodded. "Yes, that is the general reason. But I want to hear why each of you [i]specifically[/i] came today. Why do you rampage? Why does it appeal to you? How did it become a problem for you?" Mellow's eyes widened. Quill coughed into a hoof discretely. Moonstone sat up straighter while looking away. What a way to start. Miss Azalea pointed her muzzle at Mellow. "Come now deary, why don't you tell us your story. We won't judge you here. This is a place of compassion and healing. Your fellow ponies know how you feel." Mellow glanced at them. Took a breath. Closed her eyes. Then regained her composure. "I am not addicted to rampaging. I do not rampage. I just... have places to go. And other ponies are always... [i]in my way[/i]," she growled. Quill thought that was actually pretty reasonable. Azalea nodded. "We'll have to talk about what 'rampaging' means in a bit, but that's a good start. Now what about you Baroness?" Moonstone tensed. "I... am of royal blood. I have subjects that must... be reminded of their place. Below me. Less than me. I rule them and must instill that in them." Azalea nodded twice. "But your attitude of superiority went too far." Moonstone looked like she was about to challenge the teacher, but stopped herself. "Yes. My subjects flee from me. And not in a good way." "Good good, realizing that our behavior is damaging our relationships and responsibilities is the first step towards repairing that damage." Moonstone shifted uncomfortably but didn't say anything to that. Then the changeling was looking at Quill. It was his turn for the guillotine it seemed. "What about you mister Quill? Why do you rampage? What about it excites you?" The stallion scratched his leg. "Well... I'm bigger. So... I should be allowed to do what I want?" The teacher raised a brow. "Is that really why you rampage? Because you can?" "I... don't know," he admitted with a shrug. "It's just... fun. I like breaking stuff." "Your cure might be as simple as getting a new hobby," she commented in a gentle scolding tone. Moonstone buried her giggling behind a snort. Quill felt himself blush. Therapy was going to be tough. --- --- --- [i]Author's Note: Each character in this story is sort of a half reference to famous rampaging macros in the fandom over the years. Broken Quill = Snap Feather. Baroness Moonstone = Starlight Dazzle. Mellow Doll = Ultramare. Even took their color schemes and inversed them to get new colors. Though Starlight looks weird with inverted colors, Ultramare actually looked kind of badass. Especially when her trademark uniform turned bright orange. When I decided on the premise, macros addicted to rampaging going to therapy, I had the [b]brilliant[/b] idea to reference famous OCs from the macro/micro pony fandom. But when I went to write this short I had the crisis that... I couldn't actually remember many such ponies besides Starlight and Snap. I know there were other well-known rampagers, but I could not recall a detail or a name about them. So, in desperate need of a third reference, I grabbed Ultramare. Doesn't really fit, but whatever. Good enough.[/i] --- --- --- Fluff Is Here By Blobskin Contains: mlp, Fluff Puff, macro, funny Version: 1 --- An enormous earthquake struck the Northwest region of Africa. It was the greatest quake ever recorded and in the aftermath the cause seemed obvious. A mountain of pink had simply appeared in the desert. It was among the tallest mountains in the world and the crater around the object suggested an impact. That it was some kind of meteor that had crashed. Yet as obvious a conclusion as that was to make, it was also completely impossible. There was no way a meteor this large could have been missed by the world's many telescopes and satellites. Not to mention if something this huge had crashed into the Earth it wouldn't have left a mild depression, it would have caused extinction! So why did it look like the object was merely dropped? Why did it look so artificial? What was it? It was time for science! The team was assembled, briefed, equipped. The world's greatest climbers armed with the most advanced mountain scaling technology. It was their duty to explore this anomaly and learn everything they could about it. With salutes and hugs and promises to return, the brave team went out to conquer this new "mountain". The entire climb was... odd. A solid week climbing up sheer walls, struggling to maintain their balance against the constantly shifting ground, and trying to navigate the endless forest of thin pink stalks that towered so high above them. They truly felt as though they had stepped onto an alien planet. Their various scanners and probes produced a stream of bizarre readings that kept the scientists completely puzzled. Chemical analysis determined that everything... was organic. Even the "rock" beneath their feet. What was this thing? They were nearing the end of their adventure, the final ascent that would take them to the highest peak, when it happened. Another tremor, but this one was larger than any they had fought before. The landscape didn't quiver, it actually shifted. The mountain was moving. "It's a landslide!" someone screamed. Everyone clung to a pink stalk and prayed. Then there was a stillness. Everyone was high on adrenaline and their breathing was fast. The many humans turned to one another, mentally counting the faces. Was everyone accounted for? A woman screamed. Everyone jumped, looking in the woman's direction. They saw her finger pointed up at the sky. They turned to see what had frightened her. Had the peak fallen away? No. It was far more... bizarre. A great equine face hovered in the air above them. Massive beyond measure. Large enough to shadow the largest city. The data suddenly made sense. It wasn't a mountain. It wasn't weird pink tree stalks. It wasn't "ground" beneath their feet. The whole thing was one massive organism. A huge pink fluffy pony. It was a god. An alien being comparable to landscapes and regions. There would be no opposing whatever its will might be. There was no hope for humanity against something so great. But what did it want? What had it come here for? What terrible things would it wrought upon the world?! For too long the face seemed to stare down at them, judging them small and unworthy. The expression was blank, a mask hiding a higher level of intelligence that man could not dream of understanding. What would their fate be for touching its holy body? The huge fluffy pink pony god stuck out its tongue and blew a raspberry. What could this mean? --- --- --- [i]Author's Note: So I recently found myself thinking about famous OCs from the fandom over the years and good old Fluff Puff popped into my head.[/i] --- --- --- Revenge of the Snack By Blobskin Contains: mlp, anthro, vore, revenge Version: 1 --- Clean Whistle fell into the acid with a defeated flop. He floated on the surface, on his back, limp and ready for death. The burning was mild, but that would pick up in an hour or so. The darkness was only a bit scary and the organic noises were disgusting. But the worst part was the betrayal. Eaten by the very girl he'd asked to the prom. Whistle felt sleepy. Even as his clothes, fur, and flesh just began to melt, his mind delved into silly philosophy. He considered the world and the two true races who inhabited it: the norms and the tinies. He considered also the cruel ridiculous lie both sides played. How everyone pretended that the two could ever peacefully coexist. All tinies heard about the disappearances. The mixed schools where more than half of the smaller class simply vanished between freshman and senior year. Everyone knew what was happening. But the investigations and questions always went in circles. The truth was obvious, but proving a student had been eaten was literally impossible. Yet the tinies did not withdraw. The smaller folk did not flee from the mixed schools or the norm's society. The number one cause of death for a tiny was "disappearing", but they all knew it was murder. The tinies pretended. The norms pretended. It was wrong. So wrong. "Equality" was a joke. "Coexistence" was a joke. "Peace" was a lie. The wars never ended. They were just fought in more subtle ways. But both sides could play that game... Lazily, Whistle reached down into his back pocket. Through the muck he drifted on he easily found the capsule and pulled it up in front of his face. In a few moments the acid would have breached the thin shell anyway, but there was something about breaking it open with his own hands that felt so satisfying. With a bit of strength, the test tube sized canister split in two with a snap and a white powder began to spill out. Whistle grinned darkly and tossed the thing into the distance where it made a wet splat and began to dissolve. Retaliation. She killed him, that was certain, there was no escaping once you went down a norm's throat. But he had killed her too. The poison was special. A Super Vitamin capsule. A concoction of pure "healthy" powders. The problem was the dose. It might have seemed like only a pinch, but it was so concentrated that by tomorrow morning his "love" would be suffering multiple organ failures as the vitamins clogged everything. She had a little less than 24 hours. The best part? The doctors wouldn't be able to determine she'd been poisoned. Her tests would all read "higher than normal" vitamin levels, but by the time the tests were run the mix would have dispersed enough that only the most well-trained specialist would be able to determine the true cause of death. This was the future. How tinies would fight back. It was a new trend spreading in secret amongst their kind. Always carry a Super Vitamin capsule. That way if you were ever eaten, your killer would follow shortly. A norm's death was always well reported. The mystery would drive the story even harder. Meanwhile, the tinies would also note the disappearance and know what had happened. The nature of the poison ensured the most amount of time before the norm's figured it out and developed countermeasures, but by then they too will have lost an entire generation of children. The norm parents will have felt the sorrow of losing a child and not knowing why. Of demanding the police punish someone, only to be told they have no clue who to punish. Norms and tinies will always be at war. Peace was a farce concocted by the dreamers and the delusional. The only difference between the past wars and the moderns ones was the style. And tinies always were good at subtle. The next day another norm died and parents wept. The norms had no explanation. They were confused and angry. Norms weren't supposed to die mysteriously. But the tinies knew. And the tinies bowed their heads solemnly at Whistle's funeral. He died a martyr. At least he was able to punish his killer before he disappeared... --- --- --- [i]Author's Note: There are a number of stories with a premise of "norms" (macros) and micros going to the same school and the norms just... kill indiscriminately. They crush, eat, and kidnap the norms in droves in these stories. And every time I encounter these stories I'm just like, "what kind of retarded micro parent would send their kid to mixed school when the death rate for their kind is so high?" Because the law requires kids to go to school? With a fatality rate that high the tinies would say, "if we obey your law we will be extinct in 20 years max. Fuck your law." It makes no sense. It's ridiculous. This kind of thing would NOT last. The tinies would simply withdraw from schools and even society in general if this was allowed. Even if it wasn't allowed and still happened. So I wrote a short about it.[/i] --- --- --- Eris the Genie By Blobskin Contains: mlp, Eris, Anon, exposition dump Version: 1 --- The hardest part about living in Equestria was the sheer innocence of ponies. The naive way they went about life. They were so... dumb. Their "Friendship Problems"? Every time they came up Anon wanted to role his eyes so hard he'd pull a muscle. The solutions couldn't have been more blunt if a brick had fallen from the sky. No doubt after Pinkie Pie's tail started twitching. But the human was dedicated to a simple personal mission: to interfere as little as possible. Did it matter? It was impossible to know. But Anon felt like he shouldn't ruin their cute pony lives with his dark humor and critical perspective of events. He was a being from a world where life wasn't fair and morality wasn't so black and white. In a way he agreed with Celestia's initial assessment of him. "He had the potential to change the world," though what she meant by those words was probably very different from how he quickly came to understand them. He chose to stand back and serve as a mere observer, only contributing when one of his friends directly came to him for advice. He sort of became the sagely mentor character whose wisdom no one understood until it didn't matter anymore. There was a certain loneliness to Anon's life. He couldn't express his true thoughts or share with anyone how he saw this strange colorful utopia. He was sure that doing so would only hurt the friends he'd made. Then Eris came into his life. The details were unimportant. Something about "reforming her" or some nonsense. Anon was sure this was the dumbest plan ever concocted. Another example of the ponies being too naive for their own good. The first time he'd met Eris had been thankfully brief because she was busy tearing reality apart. What could have possibly convinced Celestia to even try "reforming" her? Then he and the Goddess of Chaos hit it off. Maybe this is what Celestia had meant when she first met Anon. She had realized his unpredictable nature was much like Eris's chaotic personality and therefor the man had an in to connect with and tame her wild urges. The plan worked if that's what it had always been. Though Celestia probably wouldn't like how the two of them clicked. Eris understood that everyone in this world was an idiot except for her. She could see the overwhelming simplicity of everything. How every problem could be solved with barely any effort. How stupid all this world's "villains" were. How childish the populace was. Eris was both frustrated and amused by it. So she toyed with it. She poked at the edges of the world's innocence. Eris purposefully antagonized the black and white nature of things. It was how she coped with the loneliness she felt. Then Anon made one of his subtle jokes about Applejack and Rainbow Dash being a couple and Eris couldn't stop laughing. It was that moment that launched their friendship and the Goddess of Chaos "reformed". Slowly the two probed the other's ability to see the "truth" about the world and those around them. And they both quickly realized just how in-sync they were. So it became a regular thing for Eris and Anon to crack increasingly inappropriate jokes when the naive ponies weren't around and to discuss how the various "friendship problems" could have been solved so much faster and easier. It was their game and they loved it. However their bond started to stir feelings, and a question, in Anon. Did he love Eris? Not wanting to beat around the bush, he confessed. Instant friend-zone. However, Eris did really like him and felt bad turning him down. So she began asking a different set of inappropriate questions. She wasn't interested in being his lover, but she was determined to make it up to him by unleashing a little chaos tuned to his desires. In other words, she wanted to know his fetishes so she could prank the unsuspecting ponies with them. Anon had never told anyone he was a macrophile. He liked women who were [i]much[/i] larger than himself. Eris didn't criticize or mock. She quirked a curious brow, but otherwise nodded along. Then she grinned. Then she cracked her knuckles and got to work. Poor Ponyville never knew what hit it as random size-related shenanigans began to plague the clueless citizens. Anon felt a little guilty for the confusion and terror some of their hi-jinks caused, but this was Ponyville. They were supposed to be used to weirdness. Eris made a great genie and she granted as many wishes as he wanted. The only thing she asked for in return was his company. Not to mention she also came to enjoy the random panicking when a pony was suddenly turned into a giant as they entered the market. Though Anon soon discovered an unfortunate side-effect of regularly seeing his fetish was a constant boner. Eris had become a relentless teaser... --- --- --- [i]Author's Note: Originally this was going to be a quick of Anon asking Eris to be his girlfriend and her turning him down gently while offering him a fetish inspired wish. He'd ask for a random pony to be giant and the story would briefly follow that madness. Then I realized that was just too much for a flash fic and I really didn't want to write a whole story, one-shot or not, about this right now. So instead I took more of an exposition dump / world building thing that sets up a running narrative the reader can simply imagine. I think it's a great starting point for many wacky flash fics. The only problem is how condescending I think I made Eris and Anon come across. They almost seem like assholes, but I couldn't think of another quick way to explore the perspective of two "mature" characters trapped in the world of a little girl's cartoon show.[/i] --- --- --- First World Problems By Blobskin Contains: mlp, macro pony, slice of life Version: 1 --- "So what's it like being a macro?" the reporter asked with excitement. No doubt she was thinking about the ratings this interview would get and not really considering how vague the question she had just asked was. But that was okay. Fiasco was used to this kind of carelessness. The little ponies could get away with it. She couldn't. She always had to put the well-being of others first, but maybe this interview would change that. "It's full of daily challenges," Fiasco said with a dramatic sigh. "The trouble starts as soon as I head to work." "And how does a pony as big as you get to work? I can't imagine you take the bus." Was that a joke? Fiasco wasn't sure if that was meant to be funny or insulting. She shrugged it off for now. "No, there is no transportation large enough for me. One of my hooves by itself is bigger than any car. So I have to walk anywhere I want to go." "No wonder you're in such good shape," the blonde little earth mare complimented. Fiasco suspected she fulfilled the old stereotype about blonds. Her charisma was... lacking, to put it gently. "The distance isn't really the problem," Fiasco explained patiently. "I'm about five times the size of you normal ponies, so in a way the world is only a fifth the size to me. A trip that would take you 20 minutes takes me about four, for example. Even less if there are obstacles you'd have to navigate around that my longer legs can simply step over." "Seems like an advantage. I wouldn't mind cutting my commute to work short." The reporter pouted. "Except I have to deal with my own obstacles. It's hard to get around the city because I have to wait for ALL the traffic to clear before I can use a street. And don't even get me started on how narrow some of the roads are. You have no idea how embarrassing it is when I have to slip between two buildings and my... flanks... brush against the glass on either side." Fiasco blushed at the thought. "Oh my. Being so big must give you a very different perspective of the city." "You're telling me," Fiasco grumbled and rolled her eyes. "I'm just glad I have a normal job. Well... as normal as I could hope for." "What do you do for a living Miss Fiasco?" "Construction. I move materials around the site and aid in building. Most ponies will be familiar with me from the big renovation project downtown. A lot of demolition and construction going on down there needs heavy lifting and a mare like me is pretty useful." "They have you knocking down buildings?!" the reporter gasped. Uh oh, damage control mode. "Nope," Fiasco shook her head, projecting a calm atmosphere as best she could. "Too dangerous. My boss is afraid of flying debris. I just move the rubble after the demolition is done." The reporter breathed a sigh of relief. "Then you must do the work of an entire team by yourself. You must be rich." "Sort of," Fiasco cringed. "I make a lot more than your average pony, but I also spend a lot more. Do you have any idea what my grocery budget is like? And don't even get me started on rent. Or the regular fines I have to pay for the... accidents that happen whenever I go to work." "Accidents?" the reporter froze up. "At least once a week, sometimes twice, I step on... something," Fiasco explained nervously. "I've broken lamp posts, carts, benches. I even cracked the pavement a few times." "What about... ponies?" Fiasco licked her lips. This wasn't going in a good direction. Should she lie or tell the truth? She really wanted to lie for this question, but would it come back to bite her if she did? Being a macro in a tiny world was hard. --- --- --- [i]Author's Note: I intended for this to be more of a silly story, something that makes you laugh, but it turned out a bit more serious than I planned. Oh well. The name of the hero, Fiasco, is simply a synonym for "disaster" which thesaurus.com spit out for me. I admit that I immediately fell in love with the name. It really rolls off the tongue and works so well for a big mare just trying to live her life without hurting anyone. Hope you enjoyed![/i] --- --- --- Pony Crossing By Blobskin Contains: mlp, micro humans, macro ponies Version: 1 --- "Come on, we've got to hurry!" Tai shouted through the trees and underbrush. "What's the rush?" Bob groaned, shoving a branch out of his face and snapping it off the tree it came from. The two boys were fairly deep in the forest and it had just started to rain. The ground was slowly turning to mud beneath their feet as Tai repeatedly scrambled ahead only to have to stop and wait for his lazy partner-in-crime to catch up. "I told you that it's really far and we need to hurry if we're going to get there with enough time left to do anything before we have to go back." Tai had found something [i]amazing[/i] deep in the woods and was desperately dragging his best friend Bob off to see it. But Tai refused to tell Bob what it was. An abandoned building, a cool tree, maybe even a lost logging truck left to rust long ago. The overwhelming curiosity was about the only reason Bob was still going. He could have been at home right now playing video games, but instead he was wandering around in the forest in the rain with his crazy friend. Such was the life of a child. Bob caught up with Tai only for the manic boy to dash ahead yet again. Even with the wet leaves and uneven ground, he flew between the trees like he'd been doing it his whole life. Though to some degree he had. However, what caught Bob's attention this time was the wall of light piercing through the trees ahead. They had crossed the entire forest? That couldn't be! Bob found himself speeding up for the first time, suddenly sure that their long journey must be over. Maybe this was what Tai wanted to show him. The edge of the woods. It was a pretty cool thought. Like those ancient explorers who dared to venture beyond the end of the map. That wasn't quite what it was. A line three kilometers (two miles) wide cut through the forest. A field of grass, mud, and a handful of young saplings that couldn't be more than two or three years old scattered in groups across the space. And there were huge circular depressions all over the place, particularly where the budding trees weren't. There was no fence. There was no sign. There was no explanation, but the two of them knew immediately what this was. A pony crossing. Bob gulped. "Tai? Is this what you wanted to show me?" Tai shook his head. "Nah. This is pretty cool though, right?" He glanced at Bob with a toothy grin. "But we've got to go further." Bob choked. "W-what? How? There's no way through?" Tai blinked at him. "Sure there is." The boy glanced both ways like he was supposed to do before crossing the street, then casually stepped past the treeline and headed for the other side. Bob raised a hand and lunged forward to grab his shoulder, but stopped a single step beyond the trees. "What are you doing?!" he hissed after his friend. Tai paused and glanced back. "I'm headed for the other side. Come on!" he explained simply and waved Bob after him. Bob stared. "Are you crazy?! What if a pony comes through?" Tai raised a brow that clearly asked if Bob was joking. Then he pointedly looked both ways. "Nothing's coming. Let's go now so we don't have to wait." The kid then started walking away again. Bob felt his heart beating heavily. He didn't want to look like a coward, but this was super dangerous. Yet Tai looked completely chill. Bob glanced both ways too. He didn't see anything but fog in the distance. He gulped. His legs were shaking and his fingers were getting sweaty. The rain beat down on his head as he became painfully aware of how alone he was. He whined in frustration and charged forward, eager to catch up to his friend and prove he wasn't a coward. Several minutes passed and they were almost to the other side. Nothing bad happened. Tai had not only been brave, but right. Bob was embarrassed. There was nothing scary about the pony crossing. He wondered how long he would have to endure teasing for this. The ground vibrated. It was incredibly subtle. Neither of them would have noticed if it wasn't for the puddle that was forming in one of the many shallow craters. Instead of the numerous little ripples of rain drops, one big wave brushed across the surface. The boys froze. Bob could see his breath. It was cold. He was cold. He glanced at Tai. Their eyes didn't meet. Tai was completely focused on the puddle. The water splashed and the ground shook. One. Two. Three. "Tai?" They both looked up and saw it. A pony that loomed much higher than any tree. There was no skyscraper that could compare either. It was some pale shade of purple, but that might just have been the fog. It was still some distance away, but ponies were fast. Another hoof lifted. Then it dropped. The two felt the land shift under them and even heard a muffled rumble. They ran. --- --- --- The Mystery of the Giant Hole By Blobskin Contains: mlp, parody, funny, stupid Version: 1 --- The hole was strange. Strange and absolutely HUGE. It must have been the size of a football stadium. It would require special equipment just to measure the diameter. It was difficult to even see the far side it was so large. Shake hummed thoughtfully. The white stallion was standing on the edge of the cliff brushing some of the dirt with a hoof. He lifted a clump to his face and inspected it for a moment. He carefully tilted his hoof and let the sandy earth slide off and be blown aside gently by the wind. Shake's beady black eyes narrowed in concentration. Then he grunted, stood tall, and turned to face his audience confidently. "Meteors did it," he stated with absolute certainty. "That'll be 20 dollars." Carl was a pudgy human currently wearing a yellow safety jacket and a hard hat. The man raised a doubtful brow. "Meteors? Are you sure about that Mr. Detective?" "Just Shake is fine," the stallion grinned arrogantly. "And I've never been more sure of anything in my life. The case is solved." "I'm not so sure," the second pony in the group spoke up. He was a crimson colored unicorn with a dark trimmed goatee. "This hole isn't shaped like any crater I've ever seen." Shake immediately glared at his partner. "A crater is a big hole in the ground made by a falling rock, Fry," he explained aggressively. "I [i]know[/i] what a crater looks like." "But where's the meteor then?" Fry challenged, pointing down toward the center of the pit with his horn. "This crater isn't the right shape either. The bottom is flat. If a meteor had done this the floor would be--" "It's a sinkhole then!" Shake barked. "Case closed!" He then faced Carl the work foreman. "I'll take my 20 dollars now. Cash will be fine." Carl ignored the angry stallion. "I thought it might be a sinkhole too, but it's too perfect. The walls are straight and smooth all the way down, you see? Sinkholes form caves and tunnels." Fry nodded thoughtfully. "And it's far too big to have been dug overnight. No equipment in the world could move this much earth in only a few hours. And where would they put all that dirt?" "It's a rare bat-pony pit trap!" Shake announced suddenly. "Subterranean ponies burrowed up from the core of the planet and are getting ready to invade the surface. The case is now solved. Can we go now?" he asked with a frustrated grumble. Carl only gave the white pony a glance before turning back to Fry. "There was also the huge earthquake that hit in the middle of the night. But that don't make no sense either." Fry rubbed his chin, eyes still staring into the hole. "The nearest fault line is 300 kilometers (200 miles) west at least." "These mountains do have their rare tremors. Rock slides and stuff. But nothing above a 4.0 on the scale, you know?" "How big was the one last night?" "It lasted only a few seconds and it was so strong none of the equipment could measure it right. Unless it was the largest quake ever recorded. All the lines went off the scale." Carl quickly removed his hard hat to scratch his bald head. "Earthquakes have been migrating for years," Shake hissed. "Obviously building a dam here has angered the Earth gods and this is their holy punishment." "You know, you might be right Shake," Fry said with a glint of an idea in his eye. Shake seemed confused for a moment. Then quickly puffed out his chest and smirked. "Of course I'm right. I'm a detective. I deal with this kind of stuff all the time." Fry turned back to Carl. "Has there been a lot of protests? I understand there are some groups who don't approve of the dam." "We've had a couple of yocals breaking into the camp to steal keys or deflate our tires. Nothing serious though. And I don't see how some dumb kids could do... that," Carl huffed as he vaguely gestured to the enormous hole in the ground. Fry groaned. The foreman was right. And, despite his wild suggestions, Shake had a point. There was no normal explanation. Only something supernatural could have done this. And a powerful one at that. This was most likely the greatest display of supernatural strength ever. Something had created an enormous hole in the middle of the desert in just one night. No one had seen it and, thankfully, no one had been hurt. But what could do something like this? --- --- --- [i]Author's Note: Two references in one silly tale! The characters are obviously a reference to "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", possibly the most bizarre animated adult comedy show ever. I think I did a fairly good job capturing the nonsensical laziness of Master Shake, though I just couldn't find room for a Meatwad character. The story was already getting towards the flash fic limit of 1,000 words. The second reference is to a story by Arilin on furaffinity.net called "Smoke". In that story an identical mystery is afoot. An earthquake and an unexplained crater/depression in the middle of the desert. Strange, what could have done this? Though Arilin obviously did a far better job with the mystery and story than I did.[/i]