"Dude, I told you that you shouldn't have picked up that crystal!"

Finn glared over at Short, who held the glimmering crystal skull in both hands. Their gaze met for a second or so, and all the red panda could offer with an apologetic grin. Above them, the ceiling quaked and shook, and Finn reached above his head to avoid getting hit by rocks. Short dodged to the left and right, briefly wincing as a rock the side of a golf ball landed on his shoulder, dirtying his shirt.

"B-But it was so shiny! And pretty! And..." Short trailed off as the booby trap they had activated approached-- zombies, of all shapes and sizes, lunged and lumbered across the small rocky chamber as Finn whirled his head around in a desperate attempt to find an exit.

"Keep them busy." Finn demanded of the red panda as he turned and patted down the rock face behind them, trying to find any spots that were hollow. The zombies slowly approached, groaning under their breath, their eye sockets hollow. The red panda let out a squeal and hopped on one foot as a zombie, legless, had somehow managed to drag itself towards him and was grabbing to his leg. He wildly shook his leg to throw of thing off, but his already torn trousers ripped some more, tearing near the hip. He didn't know whether to hide his now exposed privates, hold the skull or throw his brimmed hat at the creatures before him.

"Why do I have to keep them busy?!" He exclaimed, and Finn let out an exasperated sigh.

"Oh, I'm sorry," The hybrid retorted. "Why don't I hold the skull and you find us a way out?"

"Okay, fine, I'll do it!"

"It was fucking sarcasm, Short! Throw that damn skull away before you kill us both! What the hell happened to your pants?"

"I don't know dude, these zombies are...fuckin' horny!" Short kicked at one of the zombies and grimaced as it squished and rolled across the chamber. 

He turned to Finn, who continued to pat at the wall, and let out a frustrated cry. In a panic, he lifted the skull above his head and slammed it against the wall. The crystal shimmered and shone, blinding them for a brief moment, as the rock wall before them crumbled. 

The two looked at each other in bewilderment, but neither of them were about to question it. Finn went first, squeezing himself in between the pile of rocks, and he turned to gesture Short through. The red panda slides his hands through the narrow gap first and then wriggles, unable to find purchase because his hands are full.

"Dude, just drop the skull." Finn demanded, and Short pouted, tugging the crystal close to his chest, his bottom half sticking out the back.

"Nuh-uh," He insisted. "My crystal got us out of that mess, so I'm keeping it. You're just jealous because my crystal is so cool and fun and destructive."

"For fuck's sake, Short--" Finn was about to scold him when the red panda suddenly screams, straightening up and arching his back. Finn's eyes widened and a tingle of panic rushed over his system, before his face smoothed out into an exasperated expression as Short began to giggle, sagging slightly with his gaze lidded over.

"O-Oh, that tickles..." Short squirmed in his stuck position, and with a groan and a roll of his eyes Finn reached out, grabbing him by the arms and pulling hard. Short grunted and tried to resit Finn's grip a little, but the red panda's body eventually loosens from the rocks and the two are sent tumbling backwards, with Short landing on top of the hybrid man. Finn groaned and sat up, only to grimace when he feels an obvious mass poking his clothed leg.

"Oops," Short began with a grin, hands still clutching the crystal skull. "Is that a gun on my pocket, or am I just happy t--"

"It's your dick, I'm not a fucking idiot," Finn shrugged the red panda off and gets to his feet. "Besides, your trousers are basically ruined. Come on, they're going to break through that in no time."

With a grumble, Short clambered to his feet and followed along behind the hybrid as they ventured deeper into the cave beyond. At first, there's nothing but darkness, save for the glowing illumination of the crystal skull in Short's hands, but after a while the cave seemed to open out into another chamber, filled with a near-blinding light. Finn had to cover his eyes for a moment just to adjust, and before he could truly recognise what was around them he stepped forward, wincing when pain shot through his paw and up his leg. He looked down and gawked at the sight of crystals beneath his feet...and not just there, but everywhere. The entire chamber is filled to the brim with them.

"Woah..." Short mumbled as he stepped in beside Finn, doing the exact same thing that he did. "Ow, fuck! What is this place...?"

"I don't know," Finn muttered. "Moreover...what's that?"

Finn pointed across the room to a crystalline mass at the far end, a good 20 or 30 metres in front of them. As soon as he'd pointed it out, the shape began to move, slowly rising up and filling the entire space of the back wall. It's head would have hit the ceiling...if it had one. For whatever reason, it's head was missing...but it's other head, however, remained. Short giggled on the spot and Finn reached up to cover the red panda's eyes from the sight of a large, swinging crystal dick.

"What do you think it wants?" Short asked. "I've got a few ideas..."

"That thing in your hands, probably," Finn pointed out. "This is like every fucking cliché Indiana Jones movie ever."

"You think if I give it the head back it'll let me go for the other one?"

"Short, for fuck's sake, our life is on the line here. We should just retreat."

"But there's zombies the other way!"

"Then...fuck," Finn sighed. "We're just going to have to improvise."

And they were never heard from again. Some say they can still hear the giggles of a Red Panda in those caves for years to come.