“I don’t think he’s coming back” “No! My love has to come back! He promised…” “But big tree completely swallowed him up” “Be patient, the search team is doing their best” “That selfless fool, always thinking about others! I still don’t believe that fiend deserves anything!” “...” “It’s only been a day… but I’ll wait for you, no matter how long” It’s been 2 days since we stopped Kuja and the fall of the Iifa tree… and just about every nation is working together to search the remains of the Iifa tree for any signs of life. I couldn’t speak a word during our loud arguing… I didn’t think I could contribute anything at that moment… I missed you… I still remember the last words you said to me that day. “I have to face up to it, just like Vivi did when he confronted his fears to find out about himself. That was a big decision for Vivi.” He… saw me as a role model, even for that single aspect. I was being humble at the time, saying it wasn’t a big deal, but it really was. We both learned something from being with each other. The value of life and the courage to do what’s right… So, I’ve decided, in my short remaining life, I will live. Live to the fullest and hopefully… leave a legacy. By day, I’d explore the world. See sights, meet people, explore unknowns. But all the while, still keeping in touch with my friends; Garnet, Steiner, Freya, Eiko, Amarant, Quina, Puck, the Tantalus group, and many others… By night, I bury myself deep in study, mountains of books from so many places, mostly from Kuja’s study about the creation of black mages. Any new discoveries I had during the day would also be added to my studies. I’ve learned so much in the few months of research I was engrossed in. The first topic I researched thoroughly was about Black Mages and myself, I learned what being a prototype meant for me. For one, I was created in a smaller stature, and physically equivalent to a 9-year-old. The reason for this was that originally, they planned Black mages to be much more human, being able to grow from childhood to adulthood. That naturally meant that we were supposed to have a much longer lifespan than merely a year or two. Along with that, they gave me more human traits that were restricted from the mass-produced variants, primarily much more realistic anatomy… which oddly enough included genitals. I didn’t question having a… penis all my life. Growing up with Grandpa Qu, he taught me of course it was a natural thing to have for a boy. It was also the organ I used to pee, so it had its functions. But after I learned the truth about black mages, it dawned on me on why I had it in the first place. If Black Mages were supposed to be weapons of Alexandria, why bother giving them a digestive system, or genitals. This must be what they thought, resulting in what the mass-produced designs are now. Naturally, after learning that, I wanted to learn more about humans, and human anatomy. There were quite the many details about the human body I learned from my research. But most of those details and functions were almost completely simplified for my case. As if they wanted to keep a prototype as simple as can be while mirroring real humans. Most of my organs inside me were simplified in functions, most full-blown organ groups were shrunk down to single simple organs. Like my digestive track simply goes into a single stomach that would digest anything I consume doing the functions of all the internal organs of the digestive system in one. However, there was oddly enough 1 organ that was completely untouched and practically copied directly from humans. It was my genitals. I had a penis that wasn’t just for urinating, but also for reproduction. I had testicles which were able to produce sperm and semen. My penis had the ability to become erect, and… it had the capability to ejaculate as well. This fact gave me an idea of a potential replacement ingredient for mist in the creation of Black Mages. The instructions, and recipe to create a black mage were written down by Kuja and given to Queen Brahn. I had that recipe in my hands, I toiled away to try and recreate just a single copy of myself… All that was missing was that last ingredient. “All right… What made me erect again those few times?” I pondered, trying to remember what caused my penis to start standing. I then recalled, yes that’s what caused my first ever erection. “Ah… I guess I’m ready…” I say looking down to myself, pants less with an erect member. My penis was small, barely 5cm long even erect, as to be expected from the body of a 9-year-old. It was purely black in colour, just like the rest of my body, but beneath the foreskin, it glowed a slight hint of yellow, just like my eyes. “I suppose I should start…” I say readying myself to masturbate. I reach the covered tip of my shaft between my thumb and index and middle fingers, as I slowly try and peel the foreskin down, attempting to reveal my glans.  “Ugh… ow…”  Barely halfway down and it started to hurt. I couldn’t pull it down even halfway. But even that revealed the shining yellow glow of the tip of my glans. I could see the hole of my urethra at least. “I guess I’ll try touching it in a different way” As I reached the tip of my glans with my fingers.  “Agh…” I yelped, as my fingers barely tapped the glans. It was sensitive, too sensitive. I wasn’t sure if I liked the sensation or not, I felt somewhat betrayed by my readings. But I didn’t want to give up yet, I still haven’t even attempted the main and most common method of masturbation. I then started to cover my entire penis with my whole hand. It was warm, both my hand and member, a nice relaxing feeling. And then I started to stroke. At first, I don’t think I felt much from it, aside from a tight squeezing feeling. But as I continued to stroke, an odd… ticklish sensation slowly grew at the tip of my member. “Ugh… Is this how it’s supposed to feel?” I wanted to know if I was doing it right, so I tried to change how I stroked. I tried a harder grip; I tried to pick up the speed. My poor arm could barely keep up… “Hah… Agh… I can really feel how ticklish and tingly it is now…” I say as my penis started to throb, and gave my body signals of wanting more.  Faster, Longer, Tighter, strokes. It’s what I wanted as the tension continued to build and build in my loins. And as I reach a plateau, the building urge closing in to its climax… I got scared. “Hah… hah… this feels so weird…” And then I stopped. At the edge, a feeling similar to needing to urinate, scared me to go over the edge. All I've learned in life, how I’ve lived, to not pee just anywhere you want. That urge scared me not to make a mess… even if I knew what I was trying to do… “Uuuugh… I can’t do it…” I sobbed in disappointment. And not just that I failed to do it, my penis now uncomfortably throbbed and felt almost sore. It was almost painful to reach that point only to leave my member at that state… But I just couldn’t finish. “I’ll try again tomorrow maybe…” I whispered under my breath hopefully. The next night, I tried again… only to result in just the same result. Another day passed, same ending. Some days, I couldn’t finish from being too tired, how I didn’t even reach that plateau again before tiring. Until a full week passed… My demeanour has changed in the day from how… pent up I was from being on the edge for so long… It was obvious to everyone that knows me, how I acted so weirdly. It wasn’t until Puck figured out what my problem was and spoke up so boldly about my problem, he read me like an open book. “Are you pent up dude?” He asked boldly “What!? I… umm… yes…” I admitted sheepishly “Woah, I didn’t know you could even get horny, so do you masturbate?” He pried further “Yes… I do, but… I… can’t finish” I answered “What? How can you not finish?” He asked in surprise I explained my problem, my anxiety on the sensation and how I sometimes just have trouble reaching it even. “Hmm… Have you been getting any encouragement?” He further investigated “Encouragement?” I asked back, trying to find the meaning of his statement “Well, if you’re having trouble getting turned on, why not look at some illustrations of some sexy ladies? Or just imagine it in your mind even? Whatever that you’re interested in” Puck explained That gave me a revelation. How did I start it all, what gave me my erection when I wanted to try masturbating… Why don’t I just keep imagining myself in that fantasy. And so, a new night has set. This time, it has to happen, I will finish. I prepared myself with all the things I do usually. But after a week of self-exploration and experimenting, some things have changed, I made some progress. I could peel my foreskin just barely before the full glans open and I could occasionally touch my glans, specifically when it starts to get covered by my pre-seminal fluids. The slick and smooth feeling completely changes the slightly painful feeling of touching it dry into even more ticklish pleasure.  I’m reaching my plateau again, but this time, in my mind, I had him in my mind. “Agh… Zidane… Hah…” I moaned In my mind, I would imagine Zidane grabbing hold and stroking my penis… He was the one person I admired most; he taught me so much. He showed me sights I only dreamed of seeing… I wanted to see you again one last time. I wanted to touch you, feel you, be with you… “Hah… ugh…” My breathing became ragged; my body began trembling and quivering. I was close once again, but this time, in my mind, I had his help… “You can do it, Vivi” “Hnggh AAAAAAGH” A week of tension was finally released. A wave of pleasure coursed through my whole body all coming from my pulsing and throbbing member. As my penis began to shoot bits of white, milky liquids, that only got a bit of air and soon dribbled down my shaft. In reality, it lasted about 10 seconds, but in that moment, it felt like minutes of me, my throbbing penis finally getting the relief it wanted for a week… and an imaginary Zidane. “Hah… Hah…” I panted in exhaustion and relief. It was such a sweet and wonderful sensation. Like my whole body being tickled from the inside yet at the same time, the relieving feeling of finally emptying my bladder after holding it for an hour. By the time I came back to my senses, and I stared at my semen covered hands, I remembered what was the purpose of me doing this in the first place… “Ahh… Where’s my beaker!?” I panicked as I searched my study while the bits of semen began to dry and dribble down to the ground. I was so engrossed in the action, in my needs from the sensation that I didn’t even ready a beaker when I actually did it… I was too late that first time when I did find a beaker. The semen was effectively impossible to collect. But I wasn’t worried, knowing what I know now. Having the experience, I was ready for the next attempt. And also, I knew I would want to do it many more times. I did my next attempt immediately the next day, and I successfully collected my semen into a beaker, though not elegantly. The final ingredient, the substitute for mist is finally ready. And so, I begin my final experiment. It was a success, a complete perfect clone of me, my son. In appearance and personality, he was an identical copy of me. But he doesn’t have my memories or knowledge… and one final difference. With the change of ingredient from mist to my own essence, he was not given a limited lifespan, at least not as short as mine. He will be able to live a much longer and fulfilling life than I ever will. But being effectively a newborn, my last duty, was to be a father, and a teacher. The most important lesson was the importance of life, to live true to yourself, and the second that also related to the first lesson, was the method of creating more of us. So, in my remaining life, I continued to make more and more children, and taught each and everyone of them every lesson I believed they need to live. Finally, the final day of my life has dawned… I felt it, how my body was starting to fail, how I began to lose my mobility and clarity. In my final moments, I was surrounded by my children, worrying about my imminent eternal rest, however, they weren’t in denial, as they were all fully aware and warned of my short remaining life… In my last moments though, I still had many things in my mind; My friends, my experiences, the joy, sadness, and every emotion I’ve felt in my short life. I also had a few regrets; of things I couldn’t do. But my final thoughts, were of you… I think I’ll write a letter… “I always talked about you, Zidane. How you were a very special person to us, because you taught us all how important life is. You taught me that life doesn’t last forever. That’s why we have to help each other and live life to the fullest. Even if you say goodbye, you’ll always be in our hearts. So, I know we’re not alone anymore. Why I was born… How I wanted to live… Thanks for giving me time to think. To keep doing what you set your heart on… It’s a very hard thing to do. We were all so courageous… What to do when I felt lonely… That was the only thing you couldn’t teach me. But we need to figure out the answer for ourselves… I’m so happy I met everyone… I wish we could’ve gone on more adventures. But I guess we all have to say goodbye someday. Everyone… Thank you. Farewell. My memories will be part of the sky…”