Squeaky Sour **Squeaky Sour Cocktail Recipe:** *Ingredients:* • 2 oz vodka • 1 oz fresh lemon juice • 1/2 oz simple syrup • 1/2 oz blue curaçao • Ice cubes • 1/4 oz triple sec • 1/4 oz white rum • 1/2 oz cheese-infused syrup* • Lemon twist or wheel, for garnish • Grated cheese, for garnish (optional) *Cheese-Infused Syrup:* • 1/2 cup water • 1/2 cup sugar • 1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese *Instructions:* 1. Begin by making the cheese-infused syrup. In a small saucepan, combine water and sugar over medium heat. Stir until the sugar is dissolved. 2. Add grated cheddar cheese to the saucepan and continue to heat, stirring occasionally, until the cheese is fully melted and incorporated into the syrup. 3. Remove from heat and strain the syrup to remove any solid cheese particles. Allow it to cool before using in the cocktail. 4. In a cocktail shaker, combine vodka, fresh lemon juice, simple syrup, blue curaçao, triple sec, white rum, and cheese-infused syrup. 5. Add ice cubes to the shaker. 6. Shake vigorously for about 10-15 seconds to chill the mixture and infuse it with cheesy goodness. 7. Strain the cocktail into a chilled coupe glass. 8. Garnish with a lemon twist or wheel on the rim of the glass and, if desired, a sprinkle of grated cheese on top. 9. Serve immediately and enjoy responsibly. The cold winter wind blew through me as I walked through the outskirts of Wolf’s Corner. The lightly frozen lake I currently walked beside looking like a black tar pool covered in a thin but disgusting film. My hastily grabbed hoodie did nothing to fend the weather around me. I had just walked in on my girlfriend of 2 years cheating on me with another man. Walking out in a huff after angrily telling her to have her stuff out by the morning, I now was in the following moment. Tears had already stopped rolling down my face and a need arose. A need to forget, a need to lose the emotions and just be. I needed a drink, well I needed a change of perspective but a drink would do for now. I looked at my surroundings spying a local bar I’d heard about recently, Enchanted Simmers. “To New Experiences,” had been their slogan. It looked to be your average Irish bar, just the right amount of grunge, a multitude of ads from times since gone and my favorite thing at the time, alcohol. I walked in, greeted by a brick red and gold dalmatian dressed in a cheap yet well made suit minus the suit jacket. Something seemed off about him as it seemed he talked to himself a few times. As I walked up, I heard him whisper firmly, “Stop it. You know we can’t do that here.” I sat down on a bar stool that somehow felt both greasy and yet entirely clean. “What can I get you, sir” they said in a tone that was firm and sounded like it wasn’t directed at me like the question itself was. “Something alcohol heavy. I’ve had a night,” I said, schlumping forward a bit re-creasing my already creased suit. I watched as the canid bartender poured me a drink with gin, fresh squeezed lemon juice, simple syrup, and champagne. Before setting it in front of me, they garnished it with a twist of lemon peel. “A French 75, sir,” he said as he set down the drink in front of me. I snatched it up and downed it, slamming down the glass with a breathless, “Another!” While they made me another, I looked over at the TV hung in the corner for those of us who had come alone. A game of sportsball was playing, nothing I particularly cared for, but it got my mind off of recent events. After about 3 more French 75s I was cheering like I knew how the game worked. At some point the dalmatian bartender had left because a squirrel with strange lines all over his body with fur colors that could only be described as moonlight was now standing behind the bar. Drunkenly I whooped out an additional, “Another,” as I tried to slam down my glass but ended up looking like a toddler fumbling with a sippy cup. The squirrel grabbed the cup and said, “I think you’ve had enough of that. How about I give you something sobering.” “Ya knows my girlfriend cheated on me with a hyooman. A HYOOMAN. In a town of people like you. I could understand if it was with a horse or summin’ BUT SHE CHEATED ON ME WITH A HYOOMAN. I’m a hyooman. Whats wrong with me,” slurred as I played with an ice cube on the wooden counter. The squirrel bartender looked concerningly at me while grabbing a coupe glass with a faint blue glow. I sobbed on the counter while he worked at my next drink. Pulling drinks, I’d seen time and time again and then one I hadn’t seen before. After assembling the drinks, they got to work pouring into a shaker. With great vigor they shook the shaker vigorously afterwards they poured the now blue and orange drink into the coupe glass. A white head rose to the top after he stopped pouring. It seemed to be a thing he was waiting for as he suddenly pulled out a back of grated cheddar, quickly sprinkling it across the top like cinnamon. Without even a thought about the fact that the glass was glowing without the use of UV lights or that the drink had literal cheese in it, I downed the drink in seconds flat. The coupe glass glowed brighter as I drank and faded to a faint glow as I set it down. My clothes suddenly felt like they were a perfect fit for my body, every crease, every wrinkle, every button in its place. Then the warmth came, enshrouding my body in what felt like a warm hug at the time. Unbeknownst to me the warmth was actually my entire body being numbed for the next step. Becoming dinner plates, my ears grew up and out into my short chestnut brown hair. That very same hair quickly shifted from chestnut to dirty blonde to a beautiful golden color befitting the name Goldilocks. Moving like it just woke up, that hair retextured to waves. Those yellow waves continued across my body as short wavy fur grew in like wildfire in open plain. The skin on my hands and feet grew tough as each in turn grew claws, my feet and toes stretching to better support my body. Directly at the front of my pants, the warmth homed in, my balls swelling to match my now rodential DNA while my pecker slid into a brand new sheath as it double in girth and added another 2 inches. Every limb of my body shrank to leave me at a proportional 4 feet, legs dangling from the stool. Pants somehow reality shifting themselves to allow it, a long rope like tail slithered out to about 3 feet, lightly swaying back and forth behind me. Whiskers sprung out of my face as the crease between my nose and mouth split down the middle. My pupils enlarged while my eyes shrunk to become beady. I quickly felt a tingle on my nose and inhaled before sneezing myself a new snout, face pushing out to a point. The final change was my 2 front teeth growing larger and longer in my mouth. As quickly as it came on, the warmth began to recede from my extremities into my core. Next it centered on my abdomen and then my bladder. Before my brain could take stock of my new body, I hopped down off the stool and waddled my adorable self to the bathroom. Going to the smaller urinal without thinking, I undid my fly and pulled my unsheathed shaft out, sighing as I relieved myself. After I finished and somehow successfully zipped my fly up, I drunkenly stumbled over to the sink that I just barely stood over now. Reaching out to wash my knobby little hands, I caught a glimpse of myself. “Woo! Maybe that guy was right, I think I did have too many,” I said as I looked at the adorable mouse staring back at me in the mirror. Rushing out in a stumbled walk, I haphazardly paid the bartender, drunkenly singing ‘We Are the Champions’ down the street. I sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from my tired eyes as I said, “Babe, I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed you had….” My voice trailed off as I saw what my hands looked like. In seconds I threw back the covers and ran to the bathroom. Standing there looking back at me was the same adorable golden mouse from when I was at the bar. My body readied itself for a scream but was denied as the ears took over and heard a voice coupled with a knock. *Bang bang bang* open up asshole let me get the rest. Somehow the fear of my new life as a mouse faded away.