You know how there are just some stupid moments in your life where you take one thing, such as this joke by 'Loading Ready Run' (here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a0WAvzI-zI ) and just keep adding strange elements to it until you end up with this bizarre idea of a dragon with a human for a butt from having stuck his butt into the human dimension then having sex with his girlfriend using his human body to do it? Of course you don't, because these convoluted ideas only come to the truly weird. Maybe I need to up my meds. Anyway, to keep a long, weird and frankly mad story short, here's the end result of that madness.
(AH: This was just a quick one that I thought I'd write as a break from my large story at the time, I don't see it as one of my best works, but I still see it as an interesting one.)

Also, can I borrow a pen?


It was just supposed to be some harmless prank; stick his butt through the portal into the human dimension; turn it into a human butt; have a stupid laugh; pull his butt back through; everything goes back to normal. Of course magic has its own, convoluted form of humour and when he tried to pull his lower half back through the portal, things didn't go to plan. Where once there was a rather fine specimen of dragon hindquarters, there was now a human forearm, which was attached to an entire human body. When all was said and done, he ended up looking like a hand puppet being moved by the large creature. Fortunately for him, the human's brain was empty and this allowed him to be the puppet master. A small condolence when half your body gets turned into a completely different creature.

At first the body had mostly just been an annoyance, an inconvenience that got in the way of his life. He couldn't fly anymore, but he could still get to high up places by having his body lift him up and the body seemed quite good at walking long distances. He had to eat a lot more now, but the body had allowed him to hunt game far larger than he could before. Cleaning and maintaining it was a pest, plus it needed clothes to protect it, but its warm blood made it easier to get up in the morning. At first he had been a bit of an outcast, a freak of nature, but once others learned of the benefits a human body could bring without having to deal with a human, he was considered somewhat popular again, well except for one problem.


He gave a yawn as he blinked the sleep from his eyes and took a moment to get used to seeing things from two different perspectives again. The first morning of the snow melt was upon him, which meant his brothers and sisters of the scales would be dragging themselves out of hibernation soon. He'd been awake all winter (the advantage of having a human body to generate heat and make a fire for you,) and was looking forward to watching the mating rituals again. The females would be waking soon and start singing their mating calls, a sound that was music to at least one pair of his ears. 
But that could wait for now. He needed to feed his human body as the large stomach was growling hungrily. He'd kept some stores over the winter, but he now hungered for meat. With the snows starting to melt and the grasses returning there would be game to hunt and he'd have fresh meat to fill his human belly. Deer for breakfast was starting to sound rather tasty. He gathered his spear and went hunting.


The hunt had gone well and as he returned to his cave with a freshly killed and gutted buck over his shoulder, he could already smell and taste the freshly cooked meat. However, as he got closer to his cave he could tell that something wasn't quite right and this was confirmed when he heard the smash of one of his earthenware jars being broken. Someone or something was ransacking his cave and he didn't like it when others touched his stuff, especially when they didn't have his permission.

The buck was hung from a nearby tree and he got his human self to take the killing club from his makeshift belt and hold it ready. He peaked himself around the corner of his cave entrance to see someone was on one of his shelves and digging through the remains of one of his jars; a dragon just like him, but with her tail held high, making it easy to tell she was a female. A very hungry and randy female. With his own genitals gone, his human body started to get his erection at the sight before him. He didn't realise just how focused he was on the female until his vision cleared up as his dragon and his human eyes looked at the same thing. This female dragon would be punished for raiding his cave and he knew just what he was going to do.


He put his club down carefully so as to not draw attention to himself before quietly stepping into his cave. He resisted his urge to growl at her since he knew his human body would do the same, giving his approach away and ruining his element of surprise in the process. No, this was a time for stealth.
He got close to the dragoness and with a swift grab, clutched the female around the shoulders and neck with his human hand, gripping tight enough to hold her and just begin to strangle her. Of course her first reaction was to fight, but he knew how she'd resist and she couldn't get her talons or teeth anywhere near his soft human flesh. She roared defiantly, but all he could do was smirk at her attempt at intimidating him. He had his human body move his dragon body closer to her and into her field of vision.
"You can stop that now," he said sternly. "I've caught you fair and square in my cave."
"Oh, it's you," she hissed, "that dragon-human freak. Let me go."
"No," he replied, not intimidated by her threats as he walked on his forelegs as if he were a normal dragon again. "You were raiding my larder, and that's a punishable crime in our society."
"You have no claim to dragon law," she scoffed, trying to lash out at the dragon half she recognised, "you're just a freak."
"I am a dragon and I intend to claim penance for damages and theft," he growled at her as he got closer, ready to fight her even in his less than complete state.
Though it was weird to see the fight from two different points of view, it allowed him to see the blind-side attack she was attempting on his dragon head with her tail and he was lifted out of the way before she could get her blow to strike.
"You expect me to replace what I took?" She laughed. "You lack the tools to claim what the law says I owe you, you dickless freak."
"I assure you, slut, that I have more cock than your small body could handle."

With his human hand holding his prize to the ground, he had the arm he was attached to move his dragon torso around so he could undo the rope belt that held the clothing on his human form and let the trousers fall to the floor. He came face to face with the monstrous and erect cock his human body sported and felt a sense of pride. It was an unpleasant thing in comparison to the cock he'd had on his dragon hindquarters, but he couldn't question its size.
"Yes slut," he said as he stroked the throbbing cock of his human body, "by the time I'm done with you, you're going to be a gaping, cum-filled mess."

She'd certainly picked the right shelf for what he had planned for her and as he dragged her back a bit so her hindquarters were closer to the edge of the shelf, she was at the right height for him to simply slide his dick into her. She kicked her hind legs fruitlessly as they were splayed out behind her and though she tried to hide her sexual slit with her tail, he simply moved his dragon torso in to grab and lift up her tail.
"I hope you are quite the slut," he warned as he prodded the head of his human cock against her vent, smearing the precum that was dribbling forth over her crotch. "I hope you've felt dozens of males inside you before, because I'm about to put them all to shame."


The head of his human cock popped in with surprisingly little resistance, but this first penetration made her howl out and he felt her passage clench around this intrusion. Her body was hot, wet and needy due to it being the beginning of the breeding season. He could feel her try and get away from his human cock, but her body opened up in that way all females did when a male they craved was atop their backs; there was no way his draconic mind couldn't resist.
His human hips pushed forward slowly, resisting his urge to shove all he had into her in one go. It had been years since he'd felt a female on either of his cocks and the sensation was better than he remembered it to be, but though he was using his human self to fuck this insolent dragoness thief, he couldn't ignore his urge to mate with her as properly as he could. He had his dragon torso moved so he was laying atop her top half, now able to bite the back of her neck with his draconic jaws and grip her scales until she bled, the sign of his dominance over her. He closed both pairs of eyes so he didn't have the two perspectives of his vision in his mind and began to thrust in and out of her with short strokes, but ones that must have felt quite impressive to her.
"I must warn you female," he growled as best he could with her neck in his mouth. "I also last much longer than most other male dragons now."
The whimper that filled her throat made him smile as it wasn't a whimper of fear, but one of desperate lust. She was getting into this strange, seemingly unnatural breeding and enjoying the human cock inside of her.
"Faster," she whined as she stopped trying to fight against her captivity and wriggled to try and get more out of what she was experiencing. "Deeper."
"You desire a clutch, don't you?" He growled as he let go of her neck and got his mouth closer to her ear. "You want to find out what happens from this unnatural sex, isn't that right?"
She growled and hissed as if disgusted by this idea, but it only came out as desperate purrs and whines.
"Say the words thief," he growled into her ear. "Say that you want my clutch."
"I want your eggs," she whimpered as she let her head lay against the shelf, unable to do anything except enjoy the sensation of being fucked by such a large cock.

Those beautiful words were all he wanted to hear, the tight passage of the thief around his human cock was hard to resist after being denied mating for so long and now he couldn't resist it any longer. He gripped behind her head with his teeth again as his human body began to thrust faster and faster, almost pulling back far enough to have the head of his cock come out before thrusting so deep that the tip of it pressed against the insides of her egg chamber.

The thief was about to get what she craved.

The small body of a dragoness was never designed to hold the seemingly large quantity of cum a human produced, so while the first would have been ample to fill her up and leave just enough for a small trail to drool from her lips when he pulled free, the second and third squirts of cum flooded her body and the hot human spunk was soon dribbling out around his cock. His human eyes looked down at this interesting sight of the tight dragoness pussy leaking cum from around his human cock, causing both of his mouths to smile.


"Yes, you will have a large clutch from me," he said after he go of her neck, "and no other male will have a chance of siring anything from you this year."