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  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Word count: 339<br /><br />This is just a short story I whipped up on a whim after I got a fun idea. I hope I can inspire others with the thought of tigers eating children.</span>",
  "writing": "Are daycare and babysitting costs draining your wallet? Are you looking for an affordable childcare alternative? Feed your toddler to a tiger today!\n\nThanks to the consistent efforts of our organization, more than 95% of zoos across the country now have a program to feed young children alive to their predator species, and they'll gladly take your little one, too!\n\nFeeding your child to a tiger has many benefits!\n-Most participating zoos will feed your child to an animal free of charge after admission\n-You'll never need to worry about daycare, babysitting, diaper, baby food, or any other parenting costs for your child again\n-You can smile knowing you've helped keep an animal's belly full\n-Their desperate squirms make for a great spectacle for yourself and other guests alike\n-If you have multiple children, you can ensure none of them will ever act up again after feeding just one to an animal on your next trip to the zoo, or you can offer all of them up to give a lucky critter a full buffet\n-Remains may be swept up and returned to you for burial with a small fee, air freshener included to keep the tiger shit smell from ruining their funeral\n\nMany participating zoos offer an optional animal stress relief program prior to feeding your child to a predator species of your choice. Animal stress relief programs require only parental consent and will utilize your little one and their holes to the fullest to help stressed zoo animals blow off steam! Animal stress relief is handled by trained professionals who will ensure no fatal harm comes to your child prior to their subsequent ingestion, ensuring you'll still get a lovely show from their struggles inside!\n\nWhat are you waiting for? Feed your small child to an animal today! Just visit your nearest participating zoo and locate a predator dietary specialist or Child Servers pavilion to sign them up! They'll be in an animal's gullet within the hour, guaranteed!\n\nThis message produced by the Child Servers Zoology Division\n",
  "writing_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Are daycare and babysitting costs draining your wallet? Are you looking for an affordable childcare alternative? Feed your toddler to a tiger today!<br /><br />Thanks to the consistent efforts of our organization, more than 95% of zoos across the country now have a program to feed young children alive to their predator species, and they&#039;ll gladly take your little one, too!<br /><br />Feeding your child to a tiger has many benefits!<br />-Most participating zoos will feed your child to an animal free of charge after admission<br />-You&#039;ll never need to worry about daycare, babysitting, diaper, baby food, or any other parenting costs for your child again<br />-You can smile knowing you&#039;ve helped keep an animal&#039;s belly full<br />-Their desperate squirms make for a great spectacle for yourself and other guests alike<br />-If you have multiple children, you can ensure none of them will ever act up again after feeding just one to an animal on your next trip to the zoo, or you can offer all of them up to give a lucky critter a full buffet<br />-Remains may be swept up and returned to you for burial with a small fee, air freshener included to keep the tiger shit smell from ruining their funeral<br /><br />Many participating zoos offer an optional animal stress relief program prior to feeding your child to a predator species of your choice. Animal stress relief programs require only parental consent and will utilize your little one and their holes to the fullest to help stressed zoo animals blow off steam! Animal stress relief is handled by trained professionals who will ensure no fatal harm comes to your child prior to their subsequent ingestion, ensuring you&#039;ll still get a lovely show from their struggles inside!<br /><br />What are you waiting for? Feed your small child to an animal today! Just visit your nearest participating zoo and locate a predator dietary specialist or Child Servers pavilion to sign them up! They&#039;ll be in an animal&#039;s gullet within the hour, guaranteed!<br /><br />This message produced by the Child Servers Zoology Division<br /></span>",
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