Lisa looked at Todd wide-eyed for a moment. “Not strong enough? Is… is that why you didn’t want to adopt?” she asked, her voice shaky. “You didn’t think you could do it?”  Todd didn’t miss the emphasis she placed on “you.”

“I don’t know, I didn’t think so at the time, I just… the fire, and you. And I was so scared, even with just us.” Todd stammered.  He didn’t know where this discussion was leading, but he didn’t want to lie to her.

“You put that on me.”  Lisa stood up from the cot.  “You said we couldn’t adopt because of me.”

“Yeah.” Todd swallowed, feeling a dry click in his throat. He looked down at his paws, remembering that awful discussion, recently refreshed in his memory by his dreams. 

That's really going to happen, if they show up to inspect the place, and find your pissy diapers all over the house, and a God-damn king size crib in the bedroom. Nuh-uh. No adoption, so you're getting a job. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You made me feel like I couldn’t do it.”

Todd folded his ears down, feeling the stares of everyone in the tent on his back. “Lisa...” He reached up to put his paw on hers.  She swatted it away immediately.  He winced, feeling the stone of their engagement ring dig into his paw, right above a knuckle.  Lisa shook her paw – evidently, it had hurt her, too.  She said nothing, though.  She turned, took a diaper from the small stack on the cot, and walked over to the other end of the tent, where some of the residents had set up communal changing mats.  Todd lowered his head into his paws.

A few minutes later, he felt a familiar, heavy paw on his back. “Are you all right?” Brutus asked.

“Is she still wearing the ring?” Todd asked into his paws.

Brutus peered over the cots to the other end of the tent.  “Looks like.”

“Then I’ll live.”  Todd looked up to see that Brutus wasn’t alone – Adam was next to him, looking down with a worried expression.  Todd sat up, trying to compose himself.

“Adam wanted to talk to you,” Brutus said. “It’s actually why he came down here originally, before… all this happened. Geraden wanted him to help you with your decision.”

Todd looked up at the Pine Marten’s marked face. His mouth was drawn forward in what looked like a sincere expression of concern.  “Is now really the best time?” Todd asked, hoping that Adam’s worry would provide him with an escape from this unexpected conversation.

“There’s never a best time,” Adam said. “But I do think it’s a good time, yes. Can I sit?” 

Todd cupped his ears back as he heard Lisa in conversation with someone at the other end of the tent. A little bit of her usual chipper tone had returned to her voice, and he was reminded of the day – only four days ago, he could hardly believe – when she’d told him off in the gathering hall.  She’d gone to the refuge of her friends, leaving Todd with Brutus to stew in his own frustration.  At the time, he hadn’t thought he’d deserved it. Now, he felt like he was only beginning to understand how much worse he did deserve. Abruptly, he realized Adam was still standing awkwardly next to the cot.  “Yeah!  Sorry,” he said, shaking his muzzle and scooting over to the side.  His diaper rustled as he did so, reminding him of the intimate moment he’d just shared with Lisa. How quickly it had evaporated!

Adam sat down on the cot next to Todd. Todd sighed, looking over at the bigger Mustelid.  “You don’t have to convince me.  I’ve already made my decision,” he said.

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Well, I didn’t come down here to convince you, necessarily. I wanted to help you make the right choice, whatever that might be. What have you decided, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m gonna join.”  Todd rubbed his face, trying not to hear Lisa’s voice in the background.

“Mmh.”  Adam made a non-committal sound.  “Why’s that?”

“Why does it matter?”

Adam sighed.  “I’m trying to help you, Todd. I can’t do that without knowing what you’re thinking.”  Brutus had wandered away by this point, leaving the Mustelids to talk in relative privacy.

“Look,” Todd said, trying to start his next sentence several times and stopping.  Finally, he composed a sentence that at least made sense in his head. “Last night, someone tried to take my fiancee away from me.” And they might have succeeded, said a dark, squirming part of his mind.  “You guys stand against that kind of thing, right?”

Adam raised an eyebrow.  “Well, that’s part of it, yes.  But we’re not crime-fighters. There’s a lot of outreach and service provision, both for Prey and former Pred supremacists who want to change their lives. You’re not going to get to hunt down whoever did this.”

Todd drooped his head forward. “I know. But it’s about doing the right thing, right? Especially for Prey? Well that’s what I want to do. I want to find a purpose. I’d like to be something better than a failed writer and a shitty ex-husband. And I want to know what the hell is going on in my dreams.”

Adam put his paw on Todd’s shoulder.  “You’re already more than that to her.”  Todd glanced over at Lisa and saw her looking curiously over at him and Adam.  She looked away as soon as their eyes met.  “And to the warren,” Adam continued.  “But I think you’re making the right choice, and for something close to the right reasons.  We’ll talk more at the end of the month. Geraden doesn’t want you making any moves about this until then.” He patted Todd’s shoulder and stood up.  “Oh, and… just to be sure. You know about...” He glanced over to a cot halfway across the tent.  Todd followed Adam’s look and saw Geraden sitting up, rubbing Arvetis’s upturned belly, the Wolf fast asleep.

Todd blinked.  He realized that he had no way to be sure exactly what Adam was referring to.  He thought he knew, of course, but… he arched an eyebrow.  “I don’t know what you mean.”

One side of Adam’s mouth rose in a hint of a smile.  “Good.”  He turned to leave.  Todd noticed that the Pine Marten was still wearing the jeans he was in this morning, and his bottom was flat.

“Hey, Adam.  Do you want...” he held up one of the diapers Lisa had brought over.  Adam turned, and this time his grin was on both sides of his face.

“Er… no. I’m a member of the Order, and Brutus’s partner, but I’m not a member of the warren.  To tell you the truth, I don’t get the whole diaper thing at all. But I don’t judge you! You do what makes you happy.”

Todd felt his ears and cheeks burning. He heard the familiar snorting sound of a barely-restrained laugh, and turned to see Lisa padding back up behind him.  “Thanks for understanding, Adam. We crinklebutts appreciate it,” she said, sitting back down on the cot next to Todd.  Adam grinned and walked back over to Brutus.

“Lisa...” Todd was caught off-guard by her return so soon; he had already been planning on sleeping on a different cot, if she seemed to need it.

“Ssh. I’m sorry I hit you.”  She took his paw in hers and squeezed it.  Todd’s fur stood on end.

“I’m so sorry, Lisa.”

“Yeah, yeah.  You don’t have to keep saying it. Just because it’s called the Contrite Order doesn’t mean you have to be sorry all the time.”

“You heard?” Lisa nodded.  “And you’re okay with it?”  She nodded again.

“I wasn’t really into the idea before,” she said.  “But I think it would be good for you. Get out there in the world and do some good, yeah?  Besides,” she looked over at Adam, now in conversation with Brutus. “Those scars are kinda hot on a weasel.”

Todd’s fur stood again, this time in fear. “That’s not my favorite part of the whole idea. I don’t even have any tattoos. I’m gonna go the rest of my life with my face scarred...”

“I’m pretty sure you get a car insurance discount...” 

Todd looked over at her and smirked, nudging her with his elbow. The calm ease between them felt like cool water on a sunburn, and he knew it was almost entirely because of her. This moment came from her strength, not his, and he was intensely grateful for it. 

Still, that night, after the lights were dimmed in the tent, they laid back to back rather than in each other’s arms. Todd knew that forgiveness without time elapsed would only go so far, and he didn’t try to put his arm on her. He also knew that he’d screwed up badly with the adoption thing, and it terrified him that it had taken this long for his error to come to fruition. As he hugged a hospital pillow to his chest, he wondered what other landmines he might have planted without knowing, and when he would stumble onto them. He drifted off to sleep and dreamed of a bare, sterile-tiled room.

***

Todd woke early the next morning, just after dawn, to the sun filtering through the white tent roof. His back hurt from sleeping on the cot, but he was beginning to feel sentient again after a night’s rest. He turned to his side and realized the cot was empty next to him, but not cool. Lisa’s warmth was still on it.  He yawned, sitting up, barely noticing his wet diaper. Several others were already up as well – Arvetis was snoring loudly on his cot, but Geraden, Adam, Lisa, and a few others were gathered and talking in quiet voices. He stood, tugging his diaper up.

“Hey,” Lisa said quietly as she saw him. “We were just about to go check out the warren, or at least the parts we can get to.”  Todd thought he might have caught the flicker of a wince in her eyes, as if she had hoped to get away from the tent before he woke. She didn’t say anything as he joined the group, though, and even took his paw in hers.

“Can we do that?” Todd yawned.  “Won’t the police stop us?”

“Better to ask forgiveness than permission,” Geraden said. “Most of the burned area isn’t taped off.  We’re going to see what we can recover. You want to come?”

Todd frowned. His and Lisa’s room was in the burned part of the warren, and he wasn’t looking forward to seeing it – or its effects on Lisa.  Something occurred to him, though, and he nodded.  “Yeah.  I think there’s something I want to look for.”  He grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the stack of folded-up clothing next to the diapers and pulled them on.

Geraden held open the flap, and the little group walked out into the dawn air. Fog hung low over the ground as they walked up the street in silence for the couple of miles it took to get back to the warren.  They smelled it long before they saw it, like a wood-burning fireplace but with a nasty undertone, like burnt plastic.

“Adam,” Geraden said, breaking the contemplative silence of the long walk, “I believe Elyssa is visiting your neighbors at the Westriver Order site. It’s nothing urgent, but when you get a chance, could you call them on your cell phone? I’d love to speak with her.”

Adam nodded.  “Sure, Gerry. We’ll wait until the sun has been up a bit longer, though.  Most of those guys don’t get up until the crack of ten thirty.” He smirked.

As the tall stone edifice of Warkyn Warren came into view through the fog, Todd realized that they weren’t alone. There were two Predators – a Fox and some kind of brown-furred Canine – standing thigh-deep in the burned ash next to the oak doors.  Both had Contrition marks on their long faces. “Are they… guarding it?” 

“Yes,” Geraden said, waving to the Order members.  “The police are intent on inspecting the warren before we’re let back in. The Order is dealing with that.”  The Predators nodded back at Geraden as he stepped into the field of blackened rubble.

“Over here!” Lisa called, stepping through the wreckage.

“Careful!” Todd called back.  “Some of this stuff doesn’t seem very safe...” He walked along the remnants of a wall, the charred wood shifting under his feet.  Lisa was more dexterous than him, though, and made her way easily to a spot halfway between the sidewalk edge and the surviving stone walls.  “Here,” she said softly as Todd caught up. “This was our room, I’m pretty sure.”  She turned around in a slow circle, taking in the shapeless black remnants.

“Are you sure? I can’t tell...” Todd began, but then Lisa bent down, fishing something out.  It was a bronze mask. “Oh no,” she said.  “I think it’s damaged...”

She held it out and Todd took it.  The basic shape of the mask was intact, but the edges wobbled in a way they hadn’t before. The mask must have melted a little around the rim.  The inscription was completely lost.  Todd folded his ears back and sighed.  “Yeah, a little…” He was upset about the damage to the artifact, but more, he was discouraged about the chances of the thing he’d hoped to find here still being salvageable. If bronze could melt in that fire, so could gold.

“Oh, look!”  Lisa bent over, lifting a long, flat bit of charred rubble.  “It must have fallen off the wall face-down!”  As she turned it over, Todd saw the painting of the Mouse boy, still mostly preserved.  The edges were browned, but the picture itself survived. He didn’t respond, though – something else had caught his eye.

Todd bent down, holding his breath. He picked up a half-burned slab of wood and recognized the pull-handle on the front – Lisa’s dresser. He tossed it to the side and began digging around in the ashes beneath it. “Come on...”

His paw closed around it. A small jewelry box, singed and sooty, but intact. Its velvet surface was black enough that he could have imagined it was unburnt, but the crisp feel of the cloth told him that it had been singed, at least. He lifted it up, opened it, and let out the breath he’d been holding.  Lisa’s wedding band glinted in the morning sun.

“Oh!”  She was looking at Todd.  “You found it.  I was wondering...”

Todd looked up at her.  The look on her face was inscrutable. As she realized how intently he was looking at her, she smiled, but Todd could tell it was forced.  His ears drooped.  “I still have mine,” he said.

“I know. It’s good! We won’t need to buy new ones.” Her voice was flat and inflectionless. She reached out and took the box from him.  He let her – it was hers, after all.  “I’ll put this under our cot, along with the mask,” she said.  Todd dropped his paw to his side and stared down at the wreckage of their lives.

After a few moments, he took in a breath and looked up, staring at the back of her head. “After we’re married, do you still want to adopt?”

“Todd, please...”

“We still can.”

Lisa sighed and turned to face him, her arms folded.  She peered at him over her stubby muzzle. “We can, huh?”

“Yeah,” Todd said, hearing the quaver in his own voice.  The weakness.

“We live in a diaper commune,” she replied deadpan.  “Assuming it’s even still livable in there anymore.  You’ve lost the house. How are we going to adopt? Who would approve us?”

Todd fidgeted with his empty paws, staring down at them. He knew that it was only fair for her to send those words back at him – he had given them to her in the first place.  “We… we could ask Geraden. Maybe it’s been done before. Lisa, I dreamed...”

That made her look up into his face.  “What kind of dream?”

“I don’t know.  There was a field, and… I don’t really remember, but I felt such…  I don’t know.”  He let out an exasperated sigh.  Lisa stepped forward and took his paws into hers, tucking the objects she was carrying under one arm.

“Hey… it’s okay. We’ll figure something out, yeah?  And fine, we can ask Geraden about it later, if you want to.”

Todd nodded silently, biting his lip, and rubbed the backs of Lisa’s paws with his thumbs. He found the engagement ring on her finger and fidgeted with it. Lisa rolled her eyes. “Dear, you’re being obvious,” she said.  She leaned against him, though, and pressed her nose into his shoulder as he hugged her.

***

When they found Geraden around the side of the stone building, he was in heated discussion with two police officers. They turned and walked away before Lisa and Todd approached, but Geraden still seemed upset.

“What is it?” Lisa asked as she climbed over the remnants of a desk.

Geraden sighed.  “Nothing… I think. Have either of you noticed anything odd about the police?”

Lisa blinked.  “Uh… no? What do you mean?”

“They’ve all been Predators.  Every single one we’ve interacted with here.”

Lisa took in a careful breath and raised her eyebrows, sharing a look with Todd.  “Gerry, you haven’t slept a lot in the past couple days,” she said.  “I think you’re being a little paranoid.”

Geraden sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Probably. I think they’re going to let us back into the warren in the next couple of days, at least. It seems they regard us as a bit of a cult, and the higher-ups don’t want to get too involved.”

Todd winced a little at that. “A cult? We’re not a cult,” he said, sounding defensive.  Lisa glanced at him with a triumphant smirk, and he felt the tips of his ears warm. “I mean… you.  You’re not a cult.”

“Geraden, we have a question for you,” Lisa piped up.  “Has anyone ever raised kids in the warren before? Since it’s been… converted, I mean.”

Geraden nodded.  “Yes, of course. Arvetis and I were raised there. And we raised Elyssa. Others, too, over the years.  Some of our members are slightly… libertine right now, with no children around, but that can be contained easily.” He seemed to think that they were worried about the adult nature of the warren.

“And has anyone ever adopted here? From an agency, I mean,” Todd asked.

“Hmm… not that I can remember.” Geraden noticed Todd’s ears lowering. “Which isn’t to say it couldn’t be done. We are registered as an official Traditionalist warren, which means most agencies would not dig too deeply into lifestyle questions, I think.”  He put his paw on Todd’s shoulder.  “Whatever you want to do, we can figure it out. I think you two would make an excellent mother and father.”

Todd smiled and looked hopefully over at Lisa.  She had her arms crossed again, though, and was looking down at the outer stone wall of the warren. They were standing directly in front of the two low barred windows, now facing the outside air once more.

“Geraden!” Adam’s voice carried across the open air as he walked toward the group, holding his phone in one paw.   Geraden looked over and smiled. “Oh, do you have Elyssa on the line?” His ears drooped as soon as he saw Adam’s expression, though.

“She’s not there,” he said, keeping his voice low. “She e-mailed them the night she left, but she never arrived.”