“I can’t believe you ran toward the fire like that.” Geraden took a packet out of the first aid kit Brutus had retrieved from the smoke-filled upper floor and tore it open. Arvetis winced as Geraden ran the disinfectant pad over the red furless patch on his arm.

“Someone had to close the doors. The smoke would have been worse otherwise, and the rafters might have caught in the inner warren.”

“It didn’t have to be you!” Geraden’s sharp tone rang off the stone walls, causing a few people to look in their direction.  “It didn’t have to be you,” he said more quietly.  “You’re eighty-two, Arvy. And look at this, half your arm is burned.”  Arvetis winced again as Geraden kept swabbing.

“Some of that is from the tea yesterday morning,” the Wolf said. “And nobody else was moving. And yes, I know how old I am.”

“This is your last chance,” Geraden said softly. “No more do-overs. The Tigers were very clear about that. You’re old now, and you have to be more careful. I don’t want to lose you.”  Geraden’s paw closed gently around the Wolf’s wrist.

Arvetis sighed, pinning his ears back, and stared down at his arm as his husband ministered to his injury.  “I know. I know I’m running out of time. That’s why I did it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… if I have to go because I was trying to save people from a fire, isn’t that better than if I go in my bed from a heart attack three years from now? We’ve already seen that; we don’t need a rerun. And either way… Separation is coming for me soon.”

Geraden’s floppy ears drooped further behind his head. “Don’t talk like that. You know I don’t like it.  You know I don’t believe in it.”

“It’s better than some of the alternatives.”  Geraden’s look only darkened at that.  “I’m sorry. Death, then. Death is coming.” Arvetis cupped a paw behind Geraden’s ear, stroking it.  “And whatever comes after for us. You’ve had a thousand lifetimes.  I’ve had two, but they’re almost up, and I’m too old to do much. Let me do what I can in the meantime.”

***

“Hey.”

Arvetis looked up and saw Todd approaching from the dimness, fidgeting awkwardly in his nakedness. “Are you… okay to talk?” the Ferret asked, glancing across the hall, where Geraden had gone to comfort a young Fox in the throes of a panic attack.

“Of course.” Arvetis slid over, patting the stone floor.  “Take a seat.”  Todd did so, leaning his back up against the wall next to the Wolf.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry for some of those things I said after the whole… you know, dream stuff.”

Arvetis smiled, the corners of his eyes wrinkling.  “Thank you. Will you tell me which statements you’re sorry for, or should I apply the apology wherever I think it’s deserved?”

Todd smirked.  “You’re not a monster.  I think. And you don’t have to live in a damn prison cell on my account.”

Arvetis lowered his ears, but he didn’t respond directly to the statement. “I’m sorry I had to miss your engagement announcement.”

“Oh, hey… the mask.  Thank you, but there’s no way I can keep that. Assuming it’s still intact up there.”

“Please, I want you to have it. I don’t need it anymore, and I want to show my appreciation. You’re a kind Ferret.”

“Pff. No, I’m not. I’m an asshole. Elyssa sees it. Don’t get me wrong, Lisa knows too.  I know I’m not fooling her for a second.”

Arvetis curled his tail around his thigh at the mention of his granddaughter. “Elyssa knows you’re not an asshole.”

“No... Arvetis, you know she didn’t leave because of you, right?” The Wolf blinked, looking taken aback.  “She left because of me,” Todd plowed forward before he lost the nerve to say it. “She sees me engaged to her friend, she knows I’m a fuck-up, and she doesn’t want to sit through everyone celebrating it.”  Todd put his face in his paws. “I’d say that I would have left instead if I’d known. But that isn’t true, because I’m an asshole.”

Arvetis put a paw on Todd’s naked shoulder and squeezed him, holding his paw there for a long moment. “You wouldn’t have left instead because you couldn’t have done that to Lisa,” he said. “I know that she didn’t leave because of me. You saw a moment of ugliness from me that I regret. Later that day, after she was done planning the feast, she came to my… my room. I apologized and sent Brutus to get some mint ice cream. It’s her favorite. I held her in my lap as she ate it, like we’ve done since she was little. She is a part of this place, too, and that means her capacity for forgiveness is high. She didn’t leave because of me alone, and she didn’t leave because of you alone or Lisa or Geraden. We should take her at her word. She left out of love for us, and she will return soon out of love for us.”

Todd looked up at the old Wolf, taking in his solemn face in the lantern light. “You think so?”

“I do.  Thank you for telling me your thoughts, though. I appreciate that you didn’t want me hurting in that way.”

“All right.”  Todd took in a deep breath through his nose.  “That’s what I came over here to say, but… as long as I’ve got my courage up, can I ask you something?  Something I should have asked a while ago.”

“Go ahead.”

“What do those scars mean to you? What did Gel-Herathin do to you, exactly?”

Arvetis’s ears swiveled forward, and he considered his answer for a few moments.  “I don’t know. Neither does Geraden, I think.  Not exactly.  Sometimes I think he carved something out of me.  Sometimes I think he put something of himself in. Before the marks, part of me felt weak, both scared of failure and certain of it. When I felt that way, which was almost always, I would become cruel. After the marks, that part of me was still there, but the rest of me knew it was all right. I could be weak, as long as I was weak in the right places. I could fail, as long as I failed in the right direction. If I learned the right places and the right directions, I could forgive my own weakness.”

Todd cupped his ears toward the Wolf, looking at his paws in his lap. “You put a lot of stock in forgiveness, huh?”

“I sort of have to.”

“You’re Leporidan, right? Like Brutus?”

“Yes.  You?”

“Agnostic, at most. I’d probably say Atheist, most days. I know a lot about some religions, though. Lisa’s United Church of Christ, so I try to keep up with that. And a few years ago I wrote a series of articles on Leporidan cathedrals. I had to learn a lot of of your dogma and terms in order to explain the stained-glass story windows.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Terms like... Separation.”

Arvetis’s ears flattened against his head. “That was a private conversation.”

“I know. I just-- I didn’t mean to--” he cut himself off.  “I’m sorry, I was about to tell a lie. But I did overhear.  You said that you think Separation is coming for you.”

Arvetis sighed, looking past Todd. “I did. And I do. Can you imagine anything else for me?”

“You’re preparing to go to Hell.”

Arvetis flicked his old, bright eyes back toward Todd.  “If you want to be dramatic about it, I suppose. We Leporidans have a pretty lenient version of it, compared to some faiths. There’s no lake of fire or whips or chains. Just… Separation. Maybe that’s why I was attracted to the faith in the first place.”  He leaned his head against one paw.

“Then what’s the point?” Todd sounded like he was working to keep irritation out of his voice. “If you think you’re going to Hell, why the marks? Why the Order? Why any of this? Isn’t the whole point of your Order redemption?”

“Geraden told me you’ve been reading up about that. You know how much it all adds up to, on balance. It is worthy work, but insufficient. I do it because it’s what I’m here to do. That’s what’s important, Todd.  You find your purpose and you do it, whether you get the reward or not.  And if you fail, that’s fine – you do it again. And sometimes you do get the brand new car, or the loving spouse, or the ticket to Heaven, and that’s all gravy. But if you’re doing something for that reason, you’re wasting your time.”

Todd sighed and leaned back against the wall.  “That’s… depressing.”

Arvetis shook his head. “It’s liberating. And it’s not so bleak as all that. I have had two lifetimes full of more love than I could have asked for.  And I don’t pretend to know what the future holds for me. I hope for the best, like anyone, but I prepare for… well, not the worst. But the likely, I think. Besides...” The Wolf looked across the hall at Geraden, who was holding the trembling Fox in his lap. “For me, Heaven would be a separation, too.”

***

Lisa watched Todd talking with Arvetis and sighed. “They look like they’re being friendly, at least,” Brutus said.

“Yeah. I hope that’s a good thing.”

“Nervous about what decision he’s going to make? About joining the Order?” Brutus sat down next to Lisa.  The Mouse shrugged.  “I guess. Less so than I was before. I think tonight has made it clear what the right decision is, even if it scares me.”

Brutus nodded. “It’s a high honor to be invited. Even people outside the warren recognize the good work the Order does.”

“I think that’s one reason he’s hesitating,” Lisa said, rolling her eyes a little bit. “He’s nervous about that kind of thing. He’s not a joiner. And the other reason...”

“Yeah,” Brutus said. “It’s unfortunate he had to learn about those things so quickly.”

“How did you learn about Arvetis and Geraden?”

“Well…” Brutus took a moment to gather his thoughts.  “I already knew Arvetis from his Order work.  My great-grandmother lost her home in the razing of Westriver. My grandmother was born homeless and stayed that way. My mom too, for all of her childhood. Finally, the Order started a Prey-only housing project downtown, and my mom was eligible for her own home. That was when I was a kit. Arvetis was in charge of that project – no mask, by then; he was just another marked Wolf. He’d bring me ice cream from the truck on the corner whenever he was on-site.”

Lisa smiled.  “That’s sweet.”

“Yeah. He stayed a family friend. So, when I was sixteen and my mom found my diaper stash, she complained to him about it.”

Lisa smirked and elbowed him.  “Brutus! You never told me you had a fetish. Most of the bunnies here came to diapers from the historical side.”

Brutus’s blush was visible even through his dark fur. “Yeah, well. Doesn’t really fit the somber-pious-Rabbit image I’ve been cultivating. And it became so much more than a fetish after Geraden invited me to the warren.  I was twenty years old, and I started having the dreams immediately. I didn’t see much of Arvetis directly, but I could see enough of Skander, Hanze, and Geraden that it was pretty easy for me to put the pieces together. Arvetis knew what I was guessing, and after I’d been here a week, he sat down with me and told me the truth.”

“How did you take it?”

Brutus sighed, leaning back on his paws.  “I am one of two Rabbits in history to have beaten the shit out of Arvetis Agathos.”

Lisa squeaked and put her paws to her muzzle.  “Oh!”

“Yeah. I’m not proud. Sometimes I still catch a little fear in his eyes, and the fact that I know it’s justified kills me.  He’s always been one of my best friends, before and after.  I love him.”

Lisa put her paw on Brutus’s. “Well, they let you stay!  That says something about how he feels about you.”

Brutus sighed. “Sometimes I hate him, still. And he knows it. He did a lot of good when he was younger, like my mom’s house. But now he can’t move as well, and he spends a lot of time lying around with Geraden.”

Lisa frowned.  “Doesn’t he deserve to?”

“No,” Brutus answered immediately.  Lisa folded her ears back.

“I hope Todd makes the right choice,” she said after a long while, looking over at the Ferret, still deep in conversation with the Wolf.

“Not everyone can forgive Arvetis,” Brutus said.  “Not everyone should.  It would be monstrous to expect that.”

“Todd should,” Lisa said.

***

Geraden sat against the wall beside the ladder. He looked haggard, his fur going in every direction and his eyes long since turned into drooping half-crescents. Todd remembered that he’d seen the prison cell’s lamps on when the fire started, and now it must be past dawn. The Rabbit had probably not slept at all. Still, he looked up at Todd as the Ferret approached and gave him the closest thing to a smile he could manage. “I hope your evening has been more productive than mine,” he croaked, looking upward.  Above him, several Rabbits were doing something with the hatch, banging together a side-facing extension to the ladder with wooden and metal poles.

Todd got down on his knees, bringing himself level with the sitting Rabbit.  “It has, actually.”

“Is Lisa all right? I saw her crying.”

“Yeah. It’s been a tough night. We held each other, and we’re both feeling better.”

“Good.  I saw you talking to Arvy, too. Judging by his ears and tail, you apologized.”

Todd blushed. “Can you really tell that?”

“Yes. When you live with someone as long as I have with him, you learn to read them quite well. Plus, your words have been weighing on him.”

“I know. I didn’t say them lightly, and I didn’t take them back lightly.”

“Good.  Does this mean you’ve reached a decision?”

Todd was silent for a long time. He tried to say something, but it only came out as a choked sound. He began to tremble.

“Come here,” Geraden said softly, putting an arm around Todd.  The Ferret let himself be guided into Geraden’s lap, where he drew up his legs.  He tensed and let out one hitching sob.  Geraden stroked his back and wiped the Ferret’s wet cheeks with his bare paw. They sat like that for a while until Todd’s shaking began to subside.  He made another choking sound, this time with more voice behind it. “Uhn… I know what’s right,” he rasped.  “I know what I should do. But I’m so scared, Geraden. God, I’m crying.” He wiped his face with his own paw.

“It’s all right to cry.”

“I have to do it, don’t I?”

Geraden only looked down into Todd’s eyes.

“I have to do it.”