Horny Slob

Sighing as he sat behind the wheel of his car, Gerald shuffled in his seat for a few seconds, trying to find a comfortable pose with his underwear riding up his crack, his tight belt squeezing his crotch, the sweater vest making him sweat. The great horned owl hated the stuffy attire forced on him on his job, wishing he could just rip it off and stroll around stark-bollock-naked, his earth-tone feathers fluffing up slightly as he groaned and adjusted his glasses. The man wasn't exactly fond of all the social obligations that came with everyday life, even hating all the small talk and chatter he had to endure at work. Thankfully, his job as an IT admin meant that he could hide out in some backroom for most of the workday, but even still the strictness and the responsibilities wore the plump avian down day by day. The showers, the grooming, the ill-fitting clothes, the commute, the boredom, it was all driving the owl crazy, even with the looming weekend giving him a tiny bit of respite from it all. Just before Gerald was about to take off from the parking lot of the office building, he decided to check his phone one last time, spotting a notification about an email he'd gotten from his boss, quickly skimming the first few lines as a spark of an idea glimmered in his eyes, 
“Hey everyone! As usual, we'll be doing our yearly inventory next week while our clients close down office for their summer break. You all know what to do, and may direct any inquiries to department heads if you've got any questions about procedure.”
A smile slowly formed on the horned owl’s beak as he thought about what an opportunity he'd been given, realising that he had just been handed about a week's worth of free time and zero obligations. Since his little IT nook was so organised already, with the bird preferring to mull over inventory and to keep everything in line rather than mingling with his coworkers, the task of inventory was practically already handled, easily finished up with an hour of paperwork which he could do remotely from home. This meant that the weekend, as well as the entire week after it, would be nothing but free time for the man, free from all the responsibilities and expectations from work and life that were weighing on his shoulders. Suddenly getting very giddy at the idea of finally being able to properly kick back, Gerald quickly took off, intending to head to a grocery shop before going straight home, wanting to stock up on enough food so that he wouldn't have to step foot outside of his house for the next week. 

Waking up, the owl slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times as he rolled over in bed, giving a light groan. Heavy blackout curtains were drawn over all the windows to his bedroom, his alarm clock turned off and his phone set on silent, leaving the man completely unaware of how long he'd slept, whether it was the middle of the night or day, or if it was even actually Saturday like he was guessing it was. The bird didn't care at all however, flopping to his back and taking a moment to stretch before finally tossing aside his blanket, wearing nothing but a pair of slightly tattered boxers underneath. Almost immediately, the man's nostrils were hit by the faint hint of musk, sweat that had been stewing under his covers for the entire night, with him having skipped the usual evening shower before heading off to bed. Gerald just smirked, scratching at his ass as he rose from bed, sniffing his finger as his talons clicked against the wooden floor. Free from any social obligations, the horned owl intended to be as big of a slob as he always wished he could be, disregarding any thoughts of work or chores, even taking a shower. With his plans of lazing around for a week straight and just relaxing, Gerald waddled out of his bedroom, only managing to get down the hallway and into the living room before he decided that he'd gotten enough exercise for the morning, or evening, or whatever time of day it might've been outside of his home. Collapsing on the sofa with a burp, the man scratched his bare belly as he reached for the remote, turning on the TV while tossing his feet up on the coffee table, wiggling his talons as he sighed happily. 

Without the blanket to cover up his sweaty loins and feet however, Gerald’s attention quickly shifted away from the television and to the tantalising scent of sweat wafting up from his lower half, smirking as he felt his dick pushing out of his sheath the more he sampled his own ripe aroma, reaching a hand down to rub the tented front of his damp boxers. Free to jerk off and fully enjoy himself whenever and whenever he wanted to, the avian slipped a thumb down the front of his underwear, pushing the pair down to reveal his pink, tapered cock, almost fully out of his sheath already, resting atop a pair of plump balls. Wanting to get a better whiff of his own scent, the horned owl proved just how flexible he was for such a stocky guy, lying down on the sofa as he grabbed one of his ankles, bringing his right foot all the way up to his face, grabbing his own beak with his talon as he sniffed the sweaty bottom, moaning and wrapping a fist around his manhood. Unable to resist the urge, Gerald stuck out his tongue, giving the bottom of his foot a lick, shivering as the ticklish sensation combined with the salty taste and acrid smell made his dick throb in his hand, precum bubbling up from his tip and running down his smooth shaft, making it difficult for him to jerk off the slippery length. With just a few more sniffs and licks being enough to push him over the edge, Gerald didn't bother reaching for napkins or towels, just moaning against his own foot as he fired off several ropes of cum directly over his own belly and chest, letting the ropes soak into his feathers as one particularly powerful shot of seed even reached his own face, a wad of cum draped over his beak as he smiled, panting as the scent of his musk filled the air. 

Leaning back, propping his head up against the armrest of his sofa, Gerald laid flat on the couch, one hand dangling off the side as he huffed and puffed, watching with a smirk as his cock slowly softened, drooping down as a bead of cum glimmered on the tip. Enjoying the scent of his fresh load so much that he decided to really work it into his coat, the owl slapped a hand onto his bare belly, smearing the ropes of cum across his feathers, really letting it soak in, feeling the warm and slimy mess glazing his fingers. Having emptied his sack, Gerald sighed and closed his eyes, letting the low sound of the TV drone on in the background as he decided to maybe take a bit of a nap, having already been awake a grueling fifteen minutes or so. The bird's rest was quickly disturbed by something however, his morning wood having concealed something that now quickly rushed to the surface with his erection taken care of, letting out an annoyed groan as he felt his full bladder troubling him. There was no sensation the avian man hated more than that of a terrible need to take a leak right as he'd gotten comfortable, forcing him to get up right away. Intent on not letting anything ruin his relaxation, really pushing all the boundaries that his daily life forced him to stay within, Gerald just grinned and slipped his hands behind his head, lounging back on the sofa with his half-limp cock resting against his plump belly, relaxing his bladder and making no attempt to hold anything back. Within just a few seconds, a little trickle of golden yellow sprayed from his tapered tip, dribbling onto the feathers on his crotch, leaking down his shaft. Moments later, the dribble intensified to a full on stream as piss began raining down on the owl’s chest and belly, staining his feathers in a yellow tint as he huffed, his tail feathers shivering as he felt the steaming hot liquid soaking through his coat. The pungent stink was the next thing that hit Gerald, his beak hanging open as he took a deep breath of the unmistakable aroma, arcing his back slightly to aim the stream closer to his face, watching the fountain of piss inching towards him as he opened his mouth, letting his dirty and degenerate urges take over him. With urine staining the couch cushions and trickling onto the floor, the avian man moaned as the stream strayed over to his open beak, splattering on his tongue as he had a taste of the slightly salty and musky nectar, flinching lightly as the droplets of pee splashed on his face, forcing him to close his eyes as he leaned into the cascade. Gerald let his mouth fill up with his own piss before gulping it down, coughing slightly as he felt the warm liquid pouring down his throat, spluttering as the piss leaked down his chin, catching a quick gasp of air before opening his maw wide again for another mouthful of the delicious drink. 

Swallowing down several gulps of his piss, conveniently quenching his thirst and emptying his bladder both without even needing to get off the sofa, Gerald panted as his stream finally began to die down, the large arc of urine tapering off until a few final drops dripped onto his belly. Wiping off his chin as he grinned, the man leaned back, stewing in the pool of pee, sighing and patting his soaking wet belly happily. Closing his eyes, all the avian could smell was the aroma of his urine combined with a faint undertone of sweat, stinking like the urinals at the local bar, a perfume he could most certainly get used to. Feeling a stirring in his loins, the bird glanced down, realising he was almost rock hard again with his dick throbbing against his wet feathers, having gotten all excited from being such a dirty slob. With the taste of urine still strong on his tongue, Gerald reached a piss-soaked hand for the TV remote, only needing a few clicks to switch from the channel he was watching to the smut he already had queued up in the video player. The screen changed from a rerun of some boring movie to a scene of a sweaty and muscular tiger walking into a sauna, dropping his towel as a bear was already waiting for him inside, naked and on all fours, beckoning the feline porn actor to stuff a tongue between his plump ass cheeks. Reaching for his erection, the owl chuckled, his vacation having already gotten him very reinvigorated. 

Gerald gave his shaft a few slow strokes, eyeing up the porn playing on the TV, before the man suddenly stopped, panting softly as he looked around, deciding that he wanted something more than just his own right hand to get him off. Thankfully for the owl, he didn't have to go far to find that something, reaching for a small box he'd stashed underneath the sofa, yanking it out and slipping the lid off, revealing several naughty toys hidden within. Gerald immediately reached for a dildo resting atop the pile of sex toys, a slender and smooth pink shaft mimicking his own cock, stiff and molded with a few veins to give some added texture and realism. Without skipping a beat, the bird opened his beak again, stuffing the dildo within, suckling and licking on it to get it lubricated, too lazy to even reach for the bottle of lube sitting in his lewd stash. As soon as he'd gotten the toy covered with his spit, Gerald tossed one leg up over the backrest of his couch, his cock in one hand and the dildo in the other as he was spread eagle, slipping the toy between his ass cheeks and holding his breath as he felt the tip rubbing against his pucker, sliding in with relative ease with just a little force. The horned owl moaned as he crammed the silicone manhood into his asshole, jerking off at the same time, his belly giving a light grumble as soon as he'd gotten the dildo about halfway into his rear. 

With his bowels seemingly stirred awake by the toying he was giving himself, Gerald suddenly felt a buildup of gas in his guts, grimacing and squirming gently as he groaned, reaching down to spread his ass cheeks and push the toy in further. A fart squeaked out of the man's hole as he let out a grunt, twisting the toy stretching out his hole before pulling it back slightly, a more bolstrous gust of gas rumbling out as a relieved gasp left the bird's beak, a smirk creeping on his face as he caught a whiff of his own stench. The owl gave his asshole a few more good thrusts with his toy, continuing to fart and squeak out gas with every push, panting as he finally popped the toy out his rump, a light blush flashing on his cheeks as he noticed the smears of brown smudged all along the length of the shaft. Having seemingly been a bit more dirty and backed up than he'd thought, Gerald brought the stained toy closer to his face, a reek very reminiscent of his flatulence but twice as potent instantly making his nostrils twitch, panting with lust as his own cock throbbed in his hand. Fully giving in to his dirty desires, the avian brought the shit-stained dildo right next to his manhood, wrapping a fist around both, jerking the two side by side as his slippery and soft scat smeared across his cock, staining it with the same shade of brown as the toy. Getting close to another climax, needing just a bit more to push himself over the edge, Gerald quickly pressed the dirty toy against his chest, rubbing his sensitive nipples with the tip of the dildo, bleating out a cry as his cock almost instantly began to spasm in his hand, spraying several more ropes of cum over his belly. Unloading all over himself once more, the owl kept kneading his nipples with the toy as he gripped the base of his manhood, moaning as the stink continued to grow worse. 

Basking in the afterglow of his climax, Gerald huffed, letting the soiled dildo rest against his chest as he held his dick in his hand, smatterings of brown smeared across some of his white feathers from the dirty fun he'd had. The great horned owl caught his breath for a while, closing his eyes and just taking in the rancid smell, a few farts squeezing out of his gaped asshole as he panted, smirking as his talons gently twitched whenever his pucker flexed open. After a few minutes, Gerald just casually yanked his boxers back up, dropping the dirty dildo into the box of sex toys as he sat up, yawning as he felt his underwear sticking to the smears of shit staining his ass cheeks. Drenched in piss and cum, a few brown smudges adorning his sweaty coat as well, the avian hopped up from his sofa, leaving the gay porn to play in the background as he strolled a few steps away to his computer desk, sitting down with a huff, booting up the machine. Intending to waste a little time by just browsing the Internet, Gerald didn't get far before he felt yet another urge calling for his attention, trying to draw him away from his relaxation as his belly let out another gurgle, this one a whole lot more threatening. The owl didn't bat an eye however, shuffling in his seat slightly as he lifted up one of his butt cheeks, blasting his chair with a long, drawn out fart, keeping his eyes on the computer screen as the rumbling flatulence suddenly turned wet. Sticking his hand under his rump and down the back of his underwear, sliding a finger into his stretched out ass, Gerald moaned under his breath as he drove his digit knuckle deep, giving it a quick wiggle before pulling it out, spotting it was caked over with shit, just chuckling at the mess he'd just made in his boxers. Without any hesitation, the avian stuck his finger into his beak, licking it clean as he reclined in his seat, suckling on his dirty digit as he gave a strained push, a wet spluttering sound filling the room as he emptied his bowels right into his boxers. Moaning as he felt the warm and mushy mass spilling into the underwear, making them puff out as the rank smell invaded his nose once more, Gerald just rocked his hips back and forth, smearing the load of shit around as he squished the pile under his ass, making sure his ass cheeks were nice and covered with the mess, a trickle of piss spilling into the pair and down his thighs as well. 

Taking a deep breath after he'd emptied his bowels, basking in the disgusting scent wafting from underneath him as he shuffled around in the pile of soft dung, spreading his legs and peeking between his thighs to see the mud squishing through the legs of his boxers, Gerald smirked and stroked at his newly stiffening erection through his underwear. Still casually scrolling through his feed with one hand, the owl reached for the box of naughty toys he'd left over on the floor with his talons, reaching out his foot to grab the stash and drag it over to him, digging through it for a moment before snatching out a length of girthy anal beads. Lifting one foot up on his computer desk, tugging his underwear down his thighs and letting a big pile of dung splatter out onto his chair, the man reached behind him and slipped the first bead between his ass cheeks, moaning as he pushed it into his tailhole, shivering as he felt the shit squeezing out the way as he buried one bead after another inside of himself. With his dick getting hard enough to push the band of his boxers off of his waist, the horny owl gasped, still pushing more of the string of beads into his pucker as he reached his other hand into the same box of toys, pulling out a fleshlight nestled near the top. Shoving his undies all the way down to his ankles this time around, his plump balls nestled in a mound of shit as more scat squished out from between his thighs, the bird slammed the fleshlight down onto his cock, hilting it in a single thrust as he chirped loudly, no need to try to keep himself quiet. Plunging the final bead inside of his asshole as he bucked up into his slippery toy, his hands and most of his crotch utterly coated in fresh shit, Gerald grunted as he came once more, giving the cord of the anal beads a hard tug just as he felt himself teetering on the edge. One by one, at a rapid pace, the girthy beads popped out of the shivering and shaking avian’s pucker, his hole clenching down hard as he came in his fleshlight, trying to cling onto the balls. Lubed up by the soft scat smeared onto the set, buried underneath enough brown sludge that the string looked more like one continuous log of shit as he pulled it out of himself, the horned owl’s beak hung open as his gaping asshole only added to the intensity of his climax. 

Reclining in his seat as he gasped for air, feeling the feathers on his rump sinking into the big mound of shit he'd left underneath him, grunting as his dick twitched while still buried balls deep in his toy, Gerald panted as he recovered from his orgasm, feeling utterly drained. With sweat practically pouring down his bare and filthy body, the bird slowly and carefully pulled the fleshlight up off of his cock, watching with a smirk as his shit-smeared shaft left brown stains all over the opening of the silicone hole. Bringing the toy up to his face as soon as he'd popped his tip free of the fleshlight, stuffing his beak into it before all of his precious seed had the opportunity to leak out, Gerald moaned as he dug his tongue deep into the warm and creampied slit. Lapping up the load he'd pumped into the toy, happily slurping down the mess of cum mixed with his own shit, the dirty owl swallowed down several mouthfuls of his seed before he'd finally sufficiently cleaned out his fleshlight, taking a deep breath and wiping his chin as he dropped the toy back into the box, along with the string of shit-covered anal beads. Finally feeling a little more relieved, both in terms of his horniness as well as his bowels and bladder, Gerald flopped back in his seat, licking his fingers clean as he resumed casually scrolling on his computer. Nestling his rear deep into the pile of shit he'd left behind, getting comfy with the extra padding he'd added to his chair, the bird sighed happily as he settled in for a wonderful evening.