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This is a case where inability is actually hiding great ability. The idea to keep in mind is that nothing is what it seems. A report can be a harlot, the harlot a lover, and a guy who blows his wad too soon could be a sexual dynamo nobody as figured out how to plug into until now... This story could most likely use a little work now that I've looked back on it. the basic premise is done pretty well but a few of the lines in the sentences could be a little redundant. some of that is on purpose to bring home the fact that because of certain obstacles Mickey isn't all there when he is having sex. this is also in part what makes this story funny in some ways. Keep in mind as I mentioned, nothing at all in this story is exactly what it seems.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "     Rimshot is not what it first seems to be.  This is a case where inability is actually hiding great ability.  The idea to keep in mind is that nothing is what it seems.  A report can be a harlot, the harlot a lover, and a guy who blows his wad too soon could be a sexual dynamo nobody as figured out how to plug into until now...  This story could most likely use a little work now that I've looked back on it.  the basic premise is done pretty well but a few of the lines in the sentences could be a little redundant.  some of that is on purpose to bring home the fact that because of certain obstacles Mickey isn't all there when he is having sex.  this is also in part what makes this story funny in some ways.  Keep in mind as I mentioned, nothing at all in this story is exactly what it seems.", "writing": " Mikey Tasakova lived to be on stage. The lights shining in his face as they put him in the spotlight entranced him. That echoing laughter of the intoxicated lounge lizards and warm blooded guests pumped his blood in his veins all the harder. Mikey loved every moment he killed them with laughter except one thing. It is true that pride for a hyena was in essence inconsequential but, his stage name was also his greatest shame. “RIMSHOT!” It was a glory, it was his bane. “RIMSHOT!” it was an anxiety and a reminder. “RIMSHOT!” That self hating joke passed on to every one night stand and lovely lass he almost hit third base with. None of that really mattered. Mikey fed on that masochistic glee. The pain of the laughter drove him. He could only focus on that one moment always coming when the joke of his life exploded in his face and brought out the very best of himself to battle it.\n The crowd was laughing so hard half of them were would be walking out of the place with soaked pants. Urine, spewed booze, or lord only knew which. Mikey smiled to himself as he made his way back to his dressing room. As he turned the corner in the hallway heading to his dressing room door his eyes stopped on a luscious white furred fox wearing a shapely and close fitting outfit covered in pink tinted diamonds. Beneath the layer of diamonds the cream colored silk outfit hugged her snug breasts like two hands pulling those fluffy pillows up and apart. All he could think about was his hands pulling that envious silk off and taking their place with his own wanting hands and hungry tongue. \n Her voice was sultry and wanting, “Mikey Tasakova? I’m Sylvia Stern with The Daily Minx, I’m supposed to interview after your show tonight. May I come in with you?”\n He looked away for a moment to organize his mind. Normally a member of the press was off limits in his book. This was especially true of someone working for a voyeur magazine like The Daily Minx. One look at those bedroom eyes almost made him melt before he could even make up his mind on what he was going to do. Mikey was so stiff just from looking at her outfit that he wanted to scream from the pain of the pressure building up inside him. Just walking the rest of the way to the door without blowing his load and soaking his pants was a miracle he had never experienced before.\n He took a deep calming breath to steady himself while his head felt ten times too big and finally answered, “Alright, come on in.”\n Mikey watched her hungry eyes as she licked her sultry lips and watched the thumping yard arm nearly piercing his pants. All he could think as they entered his room was, oh god what the hell am I getting myself into now?\n*************************************************************************\n As the door closed behind them and he turned around he realized just how short the skirt section of her shining outfit really was. While she bent low to move the chair into a better position she watched him out of the corner of her eye and smiled while her bending back and lifting tail exposed her dripping wet and bare pussy.\n He gasped and choked as he inhaled in reaction to that wonderful sight. Her tight lips were simply soaked with her animal lust. She laughed, a crystalline music filling his ears as he nearly cried in wanton lust. She turned and smiled as she sat with her skirt hiking up and displaying that tender pink line slowly opening like the pink petals of the rarest and most expensive flower he could imagine.\n “I’ve heard a lot about you, Rimshot…” She smiled almost mocking him.\n He closed his eyes in humiliation at the sound of his stage name that hated reminder of his internal inadequacies. He cleared his throat and tried to think of anything he could that wasn’t sex related. Damn his mind all he could think about was to wonder what kind of panties she wore if Sylvia wore any at all; god what he wouldn’t give to be her panties… he opened his eyes to see her deliberately playing with herself in front of him. He turned away trying to get his mind on the interview, anything to get his mind off his increasingly uncomfortable boner and the depraved want, no need for sex he could never actually get.\n Sylvia reached around his waist as she laughed silently tickling his neck with her breath and almost sending him over the edge before he could even think about getting pleasure. Her experienced paws had his pants opened and his throbbing penis free before he could even realize what she had just done, “I think before we begin the interview we should relieve a little pressure for both of us, but first, I’ve heard a little rumor about you and have an answer. Close your eyes until I tell you to open them.”\n As he nodded and obeyed that simple order Mikey just tried to concentrate on keeping his breath going slowly instead of that rapid heart rending gallop that always tumbled him over the edge of self control before he could help himself. Those smooth, long paws of Sylvia worked a form of magic he had never experienced before. Mikey could feel the sudden sensation of something clamping over his monster erection and squeezing it like a glove. A moment later the feeling increased and intensified creating a near numbing sensation over his tender prick.\n ”Open your eyes.” She almost whispered.\n As his eyes opened he realized Sylvia had double wrapped his member in oily condoms. He looked at her questioningly.\n “I’ve heard you’re a sure thing when it comes to certain items. Since you’re so sensitive that should let you complete the deal.”\n At this point Mikey just didn’t even care anymore. He couldn’t speak, his size and girth was practically draining all the blood out of his brain and taking away his voice. His mind was filled with the scent of her dripping honey running down her legs as he stood, kneeled, then pulling her legs apart he began to show her his one redeeming feature. The one reason the girls who knew his problem kept coming back over and over. His talented tongue began to slide and flick across her hardening clitoris has he began to tease her with it. The thick girth of his tongue penetrated her like the solid shaft of his throbbing penis soon would be. She squirmed and shrieked with the sound proof walls of the room keeping the noise of their consensual bonding from escaping the room. Sylvia’s own tongue began to loll out of her mouth as her body spasmmed and quivered from an intense orgasm that flooded his mouth with her sweet nectar as he sucked and drank those juices pouring into his mouth. He smiled as she moaned out four beautiful words.\n “Oh god, fuck me!” She sang it, she panted it, she spasmmed and screamed it in a nearly blind fury of wonton lust.\n His reaction was to stand and grab her rump pulling her off the seat and over to the wall where he placed her back against the solid surface. He placed his mummified cock against her boiling cunt and felt it sink mercifully into her soaking clitoris. It felt so very warm. The tight folds squeezed against his boiling cock as it filled her trembling body and pushed itself ever deeper into her body. Mikey was only half inside her when she began to orgasm all over again. The double condom was the only thing keeping him from losing it entirely before he could fully enter her. He had never made it this far into a girl before, the sensation, the warmth and the trembling of her body was something he had never known. He wanted more of it, had to have it all deep within her. He clenched her spasming body and held her tight against him until Sylvia began to come down from the sexual high.\n “Oh god, I can’t take it, stop teasing me and just push it all in, oh god push it all in!” She reached down as he did, her paws grabbing his firm buttocks as he grabbed her tight ass in return, together they both pulled toward each other as he was pulled, pushed into her like a javelin coming home to rest in fertile soil.\n All he could think about was the pounding of his heart in his ears as he found himself firmly rooted to the hilt in her throbbing snatch. The end of his massive boner was deep in her cervix, she could feel it nearly splitting her in half as he began to slowly pump it in and out of her, the knot popping deep into her and joining them together before either knew what was happening.\n She could feel it gorging her already swollen and well stretched insides as the condom began to expand and fill with his first successful joining. He pushed ever deeper into her as his body released, Sylvia was shaking. Oh god! She had never expected what she had just encountered to actually happen. All the stories talked about a guy who had never been able to even make an entry into a girl without blowing his wad before he had even begun. Her mind was going blank. The power of his first real intercourse was something she hadn’t expected. The only thing Sylvia still held deep in her mind as they both collapsed onto the ground and his knot released separating them was one thing. This was one story she was going to keep to herself…\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "     Mikey Tasakova lived to be on stage.  The lights shining in his face as they put him in the spotlight entranced him.  That echoing laughter of the intoxicated lounge lizards and warm blooded guests pumped his blood in his veins all the harder.  Mikey loved every moment he killed them with laughter except one thing.  It is true that pride for a hyena was in essence inconsequential but, his stage name was also his greatest shame.  “RIMSHOT!”  It was a glory, it was his bane.  “RIMSHOT!” it was an anxiety and a reminder.  “RIMSHOT!” That self hating joke passed on to every one night stand and lovely lass he almost hit third base with.  None of that really mattered.  Mikey fed on that masochistic glee.  The pain of the laughter drove him.  He could only focus on that one moment always coming when the joke of his life exploded in his face and brought out the very best of himself to battle it.
     The crowd was laughing so hard half of them were would be walking out of the place with soaked pants.  Urine, spewed booze, or lord only knew which.  Mikey smiled to himself as he made his way back to his dressing room.  As he turned the corner in the hallway heading to his dressing room door his eyes stopped on a luscious white furred fox wearing a shapely and close fitting outfit covered in pink tinted diamonds.  Beneath the layer of diamonds the cream colored silk outfit hugged her snug breasts like two hands pulling those fluffy pillows up and apart.  All he could think about was his hands pulling that envious silk off and taking their place with his own wanting hands and hungry tongue.  
     Her voice was sultry and wanting, “Mikey Tasakova?  I’m Sylvia Stern with The Daily Minx, I’m supposed to interview after your show tonight.  May I come in with you?”
     He looked away for a moment to organize his mind.  Normally a member of the press was off limits in his book.  This was especially true of someone working for a voyeur magazine like The Daily Minx.  One look at those bedroom eyes almost made him melt before he could even make up his mind on what he was going to do.  Mikey was so stiff just from looking at her outfit that he wanted to scream from the pain of the pressure building up inside him.  Just walking the rest of the way to the door without blowing his load and soaking his pants was a miracle he had never experienced before.
     He took a deep calming breath to steady himself while his head felt ten times too big and finally answered, “Alright, come on in.”
     Mikey watched her hungry eyes as she licked her sultry lips and watched the thumping yard arm nearly piercing his pants.  All he could think as they entered his room was, oh god what the hell am I getting myself into now?
*************************************************************************
     As the door closed behind them and he turned around he realized just how short the skirt section of her shining outfit really was.  While she bent low to move the chair into a better position she watched him out of the corner of her eye and smiled while her bending back and lifting tail exposed her dripping wet and bare pussy.
     He gasped and choked as he inhaled in reaction to that wonderful sight.  Her tight lips were simply soaked with her animal lust.  She laughed, a crystalline music filling his ears as he nearly cried in wanton lust.  She turned and smiled as she sat with her skirt hiking up and displaying that tender pink line slowly opening like the pink petals of the rarest and most expensive flower he could imagine.
     “I’ve heard a lot about you, Rimshot…”  She smiled almost mocking him.
     He closed his eyes in humiliation at the sound of his stage name that hated reminder of his internal inadequacies.  He cleared his throat and tried to think of anything he could that wasn’t sex related.  Damn his mind all he could think about was to wonder what kind of panties she wore if Sylvia wore any at all; god what he wouldn’t give to be her panties…  he opened his eyes to see her deliberately playing with herself in front of him.  He turned away trying to get his mind on the interview, anything to get his mind off his increasingly uncomfortable boner and the depraved want, no need for sex he could never actually get.
     Sylvia reached around his waist as she laughed silently tickling his neck with her breath and almost sending him over the edge before he could even think about getting pleasure.  Her experienced paws had his pants opened and his throbbing penis free before he could even realize what she had just done, “I think before we begin the interview we should relieve a little pressure for both of us, but first, I’ve heard a little rumor about you and have an answer.  Close your eyes until I tell you to open them.”
     As he nodded and obeyed that simple order Mikey just tried to concentrate on keeping his breath going slowly instead of that rapid heart rending gallop that always tumbled him over the edge of self control before he could help himself.  Those smooth, long paws of Sylvia worked a form of magic he had never experienced before.  Mikey could feel the sudden sensation of something clamping over his monster erection and squeezing it like a glove.  A moment later the feeling increased and intensified creating a near numbing sensation over his tender prick.
     ”Open your eyes.” She almost whispered.
     As his eyes opened he realized Sylvia had double wrapped his member in oily condoms.  He looked at her questioningly.
     “I’ve heard you’re a sure thing when it comes to certain items.  Since you’re so sensitive that should let you complete the deal.”
     At this point Mikey just didn’t even care anymore.  He couldn’t speak, his size and girth was practically draining all the blood out of his brain and taking away his voice.  His mind was filled with the scent of her dripping honey running down her legs as he stood, kneeled, then pulling her legs apart he began to show her his one redeeming feature.  The one reason the girls who knew his problem kept coming back over and over.  His talented tongue began to slide and flick across her hardening clitoris has he began to tease her with it.  The thick girth of his tongue penetrated her like the solid shaft of his throbbing penis soon would be.  She squirmed and shrieked with the sound proof walls of the room keeping the noise of their consensual bonding from escaping the room.  Sylvia’s own tongue began to loll out of her mouth as her body spasmmed and quivered from an intense orgasm that flooded his mouth with her sweet nectar as he sucked and drank those juices pouring into his mouth.  He smiled as she moaned out four beautiful words.
     “Oh god, fuck me!”  She sang it, she panted it, she spasmmed and screamed it in a nearly blind fury of wonton lust.
     His reaction was to stand and grab her rump pulling her off the seat and over to the wall where he placed her back against the solid surface.  He placed his mummified cock against her boiling cunt and felt it sink mercifully into her soaking clitoris.  It felt so very warm.  The tight folds squeezed against his boiling cock as it filled her trembling body and pushed itself ever deeper into her body.  Mikey was only half inside her when she began to orgasm all over again.  The double condom was the only thing keeping him from losing it entirely before he could fully enter her.  He had never made it this far into a girl before, the sensation, the warmth and the trembling of her body was something he had never known.  He wanted more of it, had to have it all deep within her.  He clenched her spasming body and held her tight against him until Sylvia began to come down from the sexual high.
     “Oh god, I can’t take it, stop teasing me and just push it all in, oh god push it all in!” She reached down as he did, her paws grabbing his firm buttocks as he grabbed her tight ass in return, together they both pulled toward each other as he was pulled, pushed into her like a javelin coming home to rest in fertile soil.
     All he could think about was the pounding of his heart in his ears as he found himself firmly rooted to the hilt in her throbbing snatch.  The end of his massive boner was deep in her cervix, she could feel it nearly splitting her in half as he began to slowly pump it in and out of her, the knot popping deep into her and joining them together before either knew what was happening.
     She could feel it gorging her already swollen and well stretched insides as the condom began to expand and fill with his first successful joining.  He pushed ever deeper into her as his body released, Sylvia was shaking.  Oh god!  She had never expected what she had just encountered to actually happen.  All the stories talked about a guy who had never been able to even make an entry into a girl without blowing his wad before he had even begun.  Her mind was going blank.  The power of his first real intercourse was something she hadn’t expected.  The only thing Sylvia still held deep in her mind as they both collapsed onto the ground and his knot released separating them was one thing.  This was one story she was going to keep to herself…
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