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Bates. You keep me busy with ideas.[/i]\n\nThe Springfield Elementary School Bus was on its way to the Springfield Zoo in the city of Springfield in the state of… Springfield’s state.\nIt was the Second Grade class, this time, which meant that Lisa Simpson was on that bus next to Jamey. “So, we’re headed to the zoo, then?” Lisa said to her. “Well, this’ll be a good time to protest the horrible treatment of the animals, as part of my work for Modeling Ethical Animal Treatment.”\nJaney didn’t like the sound of that. “Hey, Lisa, don’t you think your protests are getting out of hand?”\n“How so?”\n“Well, it’s just… you turned our Martin Luther King Day celebration into a civil war… you caused a Red Scare while we were learning about the Cold War…”\n“Even if that’s the case, I’m doing these things for a just cause. If I don’t get my word out, other people aren’t going to figure it out on my own. It’s like my dad said about stupid risks.”\n“And we all know how that turned out…” The memory of Homer trying to get beer straight from the factory and nearly drowning was clear as butter.\n“Okay, maybe I have gone a little far. Tell you what, I’ll go light this time.” The bus was parking at the Zoo.\n“Thanks. I don’t want you to end up like those M.E.A.T. commercials where they strip the skin off live humans.” The children stepped off the bus.\n“That was from [i]M.E.A.T.[/i]?!” But Janey was long gone.\n\nSo Lisa pulled out her bag, set up her picket, complete with sticky signs that read things like “Let’s put humans in cages, see how that works!” or “How about we put humans in make-believe homes and see what happens.” She went off on some speech about how animals were being harmed by the zoo’s activities, something that was simply too boring to be transcribed. A monkey in a trio of them covered his eyes. Another covered his mouth in shock. A third covered his ears in disgust.\nEventually, she got the picture. “This… isn’t working out. Hm… Maybe I need to go higher.”\nShe started by placing the sticky sign of humans in make-believe homes on a wall near a lion’s cage. Grampa walked up to it and got the hint. “Yeah, I’m totally with you! Those stupid retirement homes want to put me in a pretend world?! Hah! I’ll just move in with my family, see how The Man likes it!”\n“Okay, time to bring down the whirlwind. I just need an idea.” She spotted one of Nelson’s Weasels near a weasel exhibit. “Hey, Weasel, you’re a bad boy, right? I need an idea.”\n“Oh, I’m a retired Bad Boy. I’m currently in the process of learning how to become a barber. I think I’m making good progress.” He brought out a picture of some of his work, including: “The Clean Look” (a parted haircut), “The Johnny Rotten” (a spiky Mohawk with a spiky beard and moustache), and “The Fundamentalist” (Marge’s hairstyle). “If you want some advice on how to be a Bad Boy, that’ll cost ya.”\nLisa handed over some money.\nThe weasel put it in a jar absolutely full of money. “Okay, whatd’ya need.”\n“I’m looking for a way to do a demonstration against the poor treatment of animals. I’ve got some sticky signs, what should I do?”\n“I think there’s an empty cage near the penguin exhibit. You can protest inside the cage for that whole ‘humans in cages’ thingy.”\n“Hey, not a bad idea. Thanks!”\nJamey walked up to the Weasel. “You know there’s no way out, right?” she said.\n“I’m just gonna let it be a surprise,” the Weasel said.”\n\nLisa, bag in tow, began climbing the empty cage. Once she reached the top, she dropped her bag down to the other side and began climbing down herself. Unfortunately for her, her dress got stuck on a pole, and she tried to get it back in place. However, her attempts to do so only caused it to rip at the seams, and soon it ripped in half completely, leaving her in just her pearls, her panties, and her shoes, one of which she lost when she fell on her stomach and hit the mud at the bottom, the shoe landing outside the cage where she couldn’t reach.\nNaturally, once Lisa got back up, she realized she wasn’t wearing much up top, and fashioned something out of her signs to cover herself up with. “Well, at least I look the part.” She started up a protest as usual, but she only drew the Weasel and Jamey, laughing at her inside.\n“Wow! I thought things’d go badly, but [i]this[/i]… this is rich!” the Weasel said.\n“Okay, fine, I took a stupid risk, and it didn’t work out. Now get me outta here!”\n“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’m a Bad Boy, remember? I don’t play that game!”\n“I thought you said you were a retired Bad Boy.”\n“Yeah, well I came out of retirement when I saw you making a Jackass out of yourself.”\n“The correct term is Jenny.”\n“And we’re done. Have fun in there!” The Weasel waltzed off.\n“Jamey, come on! Help me!”\nJamey smiled. “Sorry, Lis! This is the only way you’ll learn.” Jamey walked off.\n\nLisa sighed. “Well, hopefully someone will come by and realize I’m a human and get me out.”\nShe soon attracted a class full of students, with a zookeeper narrating her cage. “If you look inside this cage, you will notice the Bald Ape, a rare species of monkey known for its spiky hair. We’ve started populating our schools full of them to provide unique animals, and not to just cover our asses about children getting locked up in our cages, so SHUT UP, OSHA, WE’RE JUST FINE!” He continued. “And if you look to the left side, you’ll see the tiny wolf, a rare species of canine that responds to the name Martha!”\nThe children cheered in joy.\nLisa slumped over, defeated.\nShe then heard Ralph’s voice. “Hi, Lisa! That’s a nice outfit.”\n“Wh-RALPH?! What’re you…”\n“The white goes really well with the yellow.”\n“I… you… shut up and help me get out of here.”\n“Can I come in there with you? I see chocolate down there!”\n“Yeah, how’d you like to be in a cage with no food or water, put on as a show for a corrupt zookeepers, who I can add [i]this[/i] to the growing list of crimes thereof.”\n“…so are you Sideshow Lisa now or…”\n“JUST GIVE ME A BOOST!”\nLisa used Ralph as a stepping stone to help her climb out, carrying her backpack of supplies with her. “Almost there…” Naturally, this made her quite a bit heavy, not helped by the fact that the foot with the shoe was right on Ralph’s head. “Almost there…”\nHer panties, beads and makeshift top got stuck on the pole next. Ralph lost his grip, and the result was that Lisa’s panties and beads snapped in half, beads flying all over the place, backpack landing on the opposite side of the cage, as she plummeted back down into her prison.\n\nAt this point, Lisa, completely naked and totally humiliated, could only just stay in the cage covering her nude body. “Well this is just great,” she mused. “Now what?”\nAnd when Ralph said “Hi, Mister Skin!” Lisa knew very well what, and it wasn’t very good.\nPrincipal Skinner had arrived, and upon seeing the totally nude Lisa, he let out a “Gadzooks, LISA?!” Naturally, this was the absolute last thing Lisa wanted happening to her, as her embarrassment went through the roof. “How in the hell did you get in there, like that no less?”\nLisa just accepted her fate. “It’s a long story.”\nSkinner began to climb the cage. “Well, you can tell me all the humiliating details later, after I get you out of there.”\n“Thanks! I’d rather wear fur than go naked…”\n“This trick got me out of a bind in ‘Nam. It should work here,” Skinner said, reaching the top of the cage.\nRalph and Lisa looked up at him, Ralph commenting “I could do that, but I don’t want to.”\nSkinner lent out his hand, “Grab my hand!”\nLisa, embarrassment levels at their highest, said “But if I move my arms…”\n“Spare me your modesty and do it!”\nFinally beyond the point of caring, Lisa said, “Eh, why not,” and grabbed Skinner’s hand.\n“Careful, you’re pulling too hard!”\nBut it was too late, and Skinner and Lisa tumbled into the cage.\n\nSkinner, having lent Lisa his coat, simply said “Lisa, has anyone ever told you you’re too much of an activist?”\n“Not really,” Lisa said.\nThe two looked to their right, and for some reason, Ralph was inexplicably in the cage, missing his shirt.\n“Ralph, what’re you doing?”\n“I wanted to go to the party, too.”\n“Really?”\n“It feels like regret.”\nDistracted, the three stooges didn’t notice the camera flash that signified a member of M.E.A.T. had taken a photo of the three. “Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!” he said. “This is the new face of our marketing I’ve been looking for years for! Okay, do one again, only without the coat on the naked kid for maximum humiliation.”\n“Don’t you think you should try and get us out of here, especially since I’m a supporter of M.E.A.T.?”\n“Eh, humans are monsters. We really only care about animals.”\n“Aren’t you human?”\n“Pretty sure in a past life I was a monkey, but hey, I’m really lookin’ forward to that virgin paradise in the afterlife when I kill ‘em all! Whoo hoo!” The M.E.A.T. member ran off cheerful.\n“Think he alerted the Zookeeper?”\n“Very unlikely,” Skinner said.\n“You’re probably right.”\nRalph, licking the mud on the ground, said “Eww, it tastes like earth!”\n\nSoon enough, the next magazine sponsored by M.E.A.T. used a campaign of putting people in cages naked, with the tagline “Yeah, it’s pretty much like that.”\nBart had a copy of the issue himself. “Heh, I didn’t know you could be such a prankster, Lis!”\n“It’s not a prank,” Lisa said, “it’s an accident.”\n“Are you kidding? Your little stunt back there led to a whole new advertising campaign! You’re famous!”\n“I… I am!” Lisa started beaming. “Well, I guess I’ll have to do it again! I hear the school’s going to the aquarium some time, maybe I can do it at the Dolphin exhibit! Thanks Bart!” Lisa ran up to her room.\nMarge walked in, hearing the conversation. “You know, that could lead to a lot of complications for Lisa’s image.”\n“I’m just gonna let it be a surprise,” Bart said.\n\n[center][b]Written by: Arc Royale\nOriginal Show by: Matt Groening[/b][/center]\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Special thanks to James W. Bates. You keep me busy with ideas.

The Springfield Elementary School Bus was on its way to the Springfield Zoo in the city of Springfield in the state of… Springfield’s state.
It was the Second Grade class, this time, which meant that Lisa Simpson was on that bus next to Jamey. “So, we’re headed to the zoo, then?” Lisa said to her. “Well, this’ll be a good time to protest the horrible treatment of the animals, as part of my work for Modeling Ethical Animal Treatment.”
Janey didn’t like the sound of that. “Hey, Lisa, don’t you think your protests are getting out of hand?”
“How so?”
“Well, it’s just… you turned our Martin Luther King Day celebration into a civil war… you caused a Red Scare while we were learning about the Cold War…”
“Even if that’s the case, I’m doing these things for a just cause. If I don’t get my word out, other people aren’t going to figure it out on my own. It’s like my dad said about stupid risks.”
“And we all know how that turned out…” The memory of Homer trying to get beer straight from the factory and nearly drowning was clear as butter.
“Okay, maybe I have gone a little far. Tell you what, I’ll go light this time.” The bus was parking at the Zoo.
“Thanks. I don’t want you to end up like those M.E.A.T. commercials where they strip the skin off live humans.” The children stepped off the bus.
“That was from M.E.A.T.?!” But Janey was long gone.

So Lisa pulled out her bag, set up her picket, complete with sticky signs that read things like “Let’s put humans in cages, see how that works!” or “How about we put humans in make-believe homes and see what happens.” She went off on some speech about how animals were being harmed by the zoo’s activities, something that was simply too boring to be transcribed. A monkey in a trio of them covered his eyes. Another covered his mouth in shock. A third covered his ears in disgust.
Eventually, she got the picture. “This… isn’t working out. Hm… Maybe I need to go higher.”
She started by placing the sticky sign of humans in make-believe homes on a wall near a lion’s cage. Grampa walked up to it and got the hint. “Yeah, I’m totally with you! Those stupid retirement homes want to put me in a pretend world?! Hah! I’ll just move in with my family, see how The Man likes it!”
“Okay, time to bring down the whirlwind. I just need an idea.” She spotted one of Nelson’s Weasels near a weasel exhibit. “Hey, Weasel, you’re a bad boy, right? I need an idea.”
“Oh, I’m a retired Bad Boy. I’m currently in the process of learning how to become a barber. I think I’m making good progress.” He brought out a picture of some of his work, including: “The Clean Look” (a parted haircut), “The Johnny Rotten” (a spiky Mohawk with a spiky beard and moustache), and “The Fundamentalist” (Marge’s hairstyle). “If you want some advice on how to be a Bad Boy, that’ll cost ya.”
Lisa handed over some money.
The weasel put it in a jar absolutely full of money. “Okay, whatd’ya need.”
“I’m looking for a way to do a demonstration against the poor treatment of animals. I’ve got some sticky signs, what should I do?”
“I think there’s an empty cage near the penguin exhibit. You can protest inside the cage for that whole ‘humans in cages’ thingy.”
“Hey, not a bad idea. Thanks!”
Jamey walked up to the Weasel. “You know there’s no way out, right?” she said.
“I’m just gonna let it be a surprise,” the Weasel said.”

Lisa, bag in tow, began climbing the empty cage. Once she reached the top, she dropped her bag down to the other side and began climbing down herself. Unfortunately for her, her dress got stuck on a pole, and she tried to get it back in place. However, her attempts to do so only caused it to rip at the seams, and soon it ripped in half completely, leaving her in just her pearls, her panties, and her shoes, one of which she lost when she fell on her stomach and hit the mud at the bottom, the shoe landing outside the cage where she couldn’t reach.
Naturally, once Lisa got back up, she realized she wasn’t wearing much up top, and fashioned something out of her signs to cover herself up with. “Well, at least I look the part.” She started up a protest as usual, but she only drew the Weasel and Jamey, laughing at her inside.
“Wow! I thought things’d go badly, but this… this is rich!” the Weasel said.
“Okay, fine, I took a stupid risk, and it didn’t work out. Now get me outta here!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’m a Bad Boy, remember? I don’t play that game!”
“I thought you said you were a retired Bad Boy.”
“Yeah, well I came out of retirement when I saw you making a Jackass out of yourself.”
“The correct term is Jenny.”
“And we’re done. Have fun in there!” The Weasel waltzed off.
“Jamey, come on! Help me!”
Jamey smiled. “Sorry, Lis! This is the only way you’ll learn.” Jamey walked off.

Lisa sighed. “Well, hopefully someone will come by and realize I’m a human and get me out.”
She soon attracted a class full of students, with a zookeeper narrating her cage. “If you look inside this cage, you will notice the Bald Ape, a rare species of monkey known for its spiky hair. We’ve started populating our schools full of them to provide unique animals, and not to just cover our asses about children getting locked up in our cages, so SHUT UP, OSHA, WE’RE JUST FINE!” He continued. “And if you look to the left side, you’ll see the tiny wolf, a rare species of canine that responds to the name Martha!”
The children cheered in joy.
Lisa slumped over, defeated.
She then heard Ralph’s voice. “Hi, Lisa! That’s a nice outfit.”
“Wh-RALPH?! What’re you…”
“The white goes really well with the yellow.”
“I… you… shut up and help me get out of here.”
“Can I come in there with you? I see chocolate down there!”
“Yeah, how’d you like to be in a cage with no food or water, put on as a show for a corrupt zookeepers, who I can add this to the growing list of crimes thereof.”
“…so are you Sideshow Lisa now or…”
“JUST GIVE ME A BOOST!”
Lisa used Ralph as a stepping stone to help her climb out, carrying her backpack of supplies with her. “Almost there…” Naturally, this made her quite a bit heavy, not helped by the fact that the foot with the shoe was right on Ralph’s head. “Almost there…”
Her panties, beads and makeshift top got stuck on the pole next. Ralph lost his grip, and the result was that Lisa’s panties and beads snapped in half, beads flying all over the place, backpack landing on the opposite side of the cage, as she plummeted back down into her prison.

At this point, Lisa, completely naked and totally humiliated, could only just stay in the cage covering her nude body. “Well this is just great,” she mused. “Now what?”
And when Ralph said “Hi, Mister Skin!” Lisa knew very well what, and it wasn’t very good.
Principal Skinner had arrived, and upon seeing the totally nude Lisa, he let out a “Gadzooks, LISA?!” Naturally, this was the absolute last thing Lisa wanted happening to her, as her embarrassment went through the roof. “How in the hell did you get in there, like that no less?”
Lisa just accepted her fate. “It’s a long story.”
Skinner began to climb the cage. “Well, you can tell me all the humiliating details later, after I get you out of there.”
“Thanks! I’d rather wear fur than go naked…”
“This trick got me out of a bind in ‘Nam. It should work here,” Skinner said, reaching the top of the cage.
Ralph and Lisa looked up at him, Ralph commenting “I could do that, but I don’t want to.”
Skinner lent out his hand, “Grab my hand!”
Lisa, embarrassment levels at their highest, said “But if I move my arms…”
“Spare me your modesty and do it!”
Finally beyond the point of caring, Lisa said, “Eh, why not,” and grabbed Skinner’s hand.
“Careful, you’re pulling too hard!”
But it was too late, and Skinner and Lisa tumbled into the cage.

Skinner, having lent Lisa his coat, simply said “Lisa, has anyone ever told you you’re too much of an activist?”
“Not really,” Lisa said.
The two looked to their right, and for some reason, Ralph was inexplicably in the cage, missing his shirt.
“Ralph, what’re you doing?”
“I wanted to go to the party, too.”
“Really?”
“It feels like regret.”
Distracted, the three stooges didn’t notice the camera flash that signified a member of M.E.A.T. had taken a photo of the three. “Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!” he said. “This is the new face of our marketing I’ve been looking for years for! Okay, do one again, only without the coat on the naked kid for maximum humiliation.”
“Don’t you think you should try and get us out of here, especially since I’m a supporter of M.E.A.T.?”
“Eh, humans are monsters. We really only care about animals.”
“Aren’t you human?”
“Pretty sure in a past life I was a monkey, but hey, I’m really lookin’ forward to that virgin paradise in the afterlife when I kill ‘em all! Whoo hoo!” The M.E.A.T. member ran off cheerful.
“Think he alerted the Zookeeper?”
“Very unlikely,” Skinner said.
“You’re probably right.”
Ralph, licking the mud on the ground, said “Eww, it tastes like earth!”

Soon enough, the next magazine sponsored by M.E.A.T. used a campaign of putting people in cages naked, with the tagline “Yeah, it’s pretty much like that.”
Bart had a copy of the issue himself. “Heh, I didn’t know you could be such a prankster, Lis!”
“It’s not a prank,” Lisa said, “it’s an accident.”
“Are you kidding? Your little stunt back there led to a whole new advertising campaign! You’re famous!”
“I… I am!” Lisa started beaming. “Well, I guess I’ll have to do it again! I hear the school’s going to the aquarium some time, maybe I can do it at the Dolphin exhibit! Thanks Bart!” Lisa ran up to her room.
Marge walked in, hearing the conversation. “You know, that could lead to a lot of complications for Lisa’s image.”
“I’m just gonna let it be a surprise,” Bart said.

Written by: Arc Royale
Original Show by: Matt Groening

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