


Perfect Self-Destruction
by Alex Reynard


*****


Quite possibly the most significant event in Julie Madrigal Crown's life was being made aware of an even more significant event in her life. One Thanksgiving evening, at a dinner table encircled by many wagging tails and full tummies, her poppa had gotten a frisky twinkle in his eye. "Have I ever told you the story about how little Julie here almost didn't exist?" he asked with a bit of tipsiness in his voice.

A big, wide wolf paw clapped down on Julie's shoulder. Her eyes widened at his statement. It was possible for people not to exist? This was a thought the nine-year-old little wolf's brain had never encountered.

Momma drew a finger across her throat. "Howie, Ixnay!"

"No, no, babe! It's hilarious!" He turned back to the assembled cluster of lupines, grinning ear to ear. Their eyes and ears were swiveled towards him, anticipating a juicy family secret. "We had just gotten married," Daddy said, jerking his thumb at his wife as if it wasn't clear to whom he referred. "And I mean *just* got married. We'd left the reception and headed straight for the casino, tried to gamble a little but the both of us were just too damn eager to get up to mischief. We was probably soaking the carpet with pheromones! We forgot our chips on the blackjack table and flew up to our room. As soon as the door was shut, we started tearing off our clothes like when Willy got into the Christmas ham."

The boy's ears flattened in embarrassment. The things you do as a puppy they just never let you forget...

"We'd discussed kids. We wanted them, just not yet. We'd decided to wait for a year until things were more, y'know, settled. So after I threw Connie on the bed, I started rooting around my pockets for my rubbers. None. You shoulda seen my face! I rifled my bags and even the hotel dressers for some protection. Came up empty. So then I look at Connie, and she looks at me... And we gamble."

Several relatives snickered.

Daddy leaned over and planted a loving kiss between his daughter's ears. "I'd say I won."

Julie wiggled happily.

"But I got to thinking later. If I'd *found* a condom, or I'd been coherent enough to run downstairs to the lobby shop and buy some, Jules here wouldn't be here. It's crazy, innit? How one little thing like that can change life so much?"

These words had stuck in Julie's mind throughout grade school, high school, college, dropping out of college, and her first, second, third and fourth jobs.

At first she'd not really understood it. She was too young to conceive of a world without her at its center. But gradually, Daddy's story became like a catchy pop song stuck in her mind. First bringing terror at the idea that life could be so capricious. Then a kind of strange, triumphant thrill to have existed despite the odds. Then... something else.

Julie was a pureblooded extrovert. Her tail was in a constant state of wag. The tall, well-built wolf always had a smile and was always willing to share it. She was full of fizz and sunshine. Anyone who knew her would have described her as wholeheartedly loving life.

But what none of them knew was that, secretly, Julie was terminally fascinated with the exact opposite.

Her first masturbatory fantasies had involved normal things for little girls to fantasize about; teen idols, boys at school, horses, her Uncle John, etc.. But eventually, one idea nudged out all the others. It had started as a day dream about Dominic laGrange from the gas station plowing her brains out behind the air pump, but then came the intrusive image of her parents doing the plowing. Somewhere in Vegas, in a cheesy hotel room, creating little Julie in a moment of fiery passion.

What if Daddy had found a condom?

Julie's teenage paw had pounded her nethers like John Henry driving in railroad ties. Her brain fought this train of thought but was flattened like a penny on the tracks. She pictured that thin, slick latex shield surrounding Daddy's big, hot canine cock as it rammed into Mom's sloshing pussy. All his powerful seed held back and contained. Little Julie never existing.

That day she came so hard she saw spots and nearly passed out.

Since that day, the idea hadn't left her alone. As much as she truly did love her life and her friends, the thought of nonexistence turned her on like a lighthouse bulb. It was the dizzying, thrilling precariousness of it; dancing on a pinpoint above the abyss, then letting herself tip, purely to experience the fall. Whenever she'd lock the door to her bedroom and take matters into her own hands, her mind exploded with all sorts of devilish ways to travel back to the past to interrupt Mommy and Daddy's courtship, and prevent herself from ever becoming so much as an idea.

Needless to say, Julie went on to have a very active love life, and always, ALWAYS insisted her lovers use protection. Her teeth flashed in grins of evil glee as she imagined all the potential little Julies whose fantasy she was helping to fulfill. She had boyfriends, but not for long. Her true lover was the void.

As much as she studied, read, socialized, laughed, worked, and looked forward to her future, the idea of never having one wouldn't let her go. It consumed her.

So, in her spare time, she found herself researching certain 'extracurricular' topics.

It was through an occult bookstore that she first met her best friend and the key to her dreams. Belinda Calhoun was a mouse with wild red hair who was easily able to match Julie in terms of effervescence. Sometimes opposites attract, and sometimes perfect mirrors do. The two of them held conversations until sunup, frequently giggling, frequently hugging, and frequently sharing naughty ideas.

After two years of sharing an apartment and everything else of themselves, it was time for two last secrets. Belinda, wringing her tail in her hands, admitted that her last name was a false identity. She wasn't just interested in witchcraft as a fad, but was a real, actual, not-kidding-about-this witch. She had spent her childhood surrounded by magic. And for the past three years she'd been, as it were, on sabbatical from it. It was her parents' way of making sure their demigod daughter could properly empathize with mortals by living amongst them.

Belinda was not especially worried that her wolffriend would flee in terror upon learning this knowledge, but the heartfelt hug of everloving loyalty she received at the end of her tale made her cry sweetly in relief.

Then it was Julie's turn. With eyes closed, not able to bear Belinda's reaction, she retold Daddy's Thanksgiving tale and the effects it had wreaked upon her libido. When she finally dared to open her eyes, Belinda was biting her bottom lip and kneading the hem of her sweater.

"That's the hottest thing I've ever heard."

Julie was stunned that Belinda could possibly be so accepting, but the pixyish mousette reassured her with some of her own childhood tales. Like about the games she'd played with her siblings, their version of tag specifically, which involved turning each other into stone statues. How sometimes Belinda would get caught on purpose. How immobility made her feel both frighteningly helpless and frighteningly secure. How sometimes she'd manipulate her brothers into prank wars (they knew how much she hated being petrified by how entertainingly she complained after they'd spoken the releasing words). How sometimes Belinda would take the magic powder and make herself a statue, not knowing how long, if ever, it would be until one of her family members found her and changed her back. It wasn't quite the same as Julie's fantasy, but near enough in the neighborhood to understand how it might feel.

Belinda took her friend's soft paws into her own, looked deep in her eyes, and asked if she was serious about this. "I can teach you, if that's what you really want," she offered.

That moment, so many months ago, now seemed mere seconds into her past. Julie was standing in the parking lot of a Las Vegas casino. It was her birthday.

Her throat trembled as she walked towards the lobby. She had made extensive preparations to ensure that the only part of the past she'd change was her own. She was a conscientious furson after all, and didn't want to stop anyone *else* from existing.

Belinda had tutored her well in the fine arts of time travel and transformation. Her first trips were just to the paleolithic past, where no one but mammoths would be around for miles. Nothing to disturb in the timeline there. Eventually she tried retrieving a beloved bracelet she'd lost at a public swimming pool when she was eleven. It was on her wrist right now. Finally, she was ready to begin travel plans for the big trip. The last trip. Firstly, there came reconnaissance. She had to find out which room her parents had been in and what time they'd be there. There was no worry in being discreet about this, since she could simply go back a second time, give her previous self the info, then they'd both return to the future with no harm done. Julie soon had the key to room 417 in her possession, and Belinda had helpfully duplicated a copy so she could return the original to the concierge's desk. She'd even made doubly-sure the room was the correct one, by hiding in the hallway, watching her youthfully-glowing parents enter, and pressing her ear to the door once they were inside. And boy were they LOUD! Julie had slipped down to the carpeted floor and banished her panties as she jilled herself raw listening to Mommy and Daddy consummate their wedding. A bellhop had spotted her though, so she'd had to *poof* back to the present before she could finish. Though Belinda was also helpful in that regard. The duo kissed, clawed, and pressed their bodies together until Julie was so exhausted she thought her bones had melted.

Belinda and Julie said their goodbyes one week later. The mouse asked one last time if the wolf was really ready. Julie nodded. She hugged her friend and said how much she regretted that Belinda would forget all about her if their plan succeeded. Belinda just grinned and said she had her ways. She showed Julie a pocket-sized photo of the two of them together. It was slightly blurry. "Unstuck in time," the mouse explained. Whatever else vanished when Julie did, the photo would remain eternally.

One last hug, and Julie stepped into another decade.

Now here she was in the elevator. She had worn frumpy, tourist-y clothes to attract the least amount of attention. Still, her nervousness showed through. She hoped no security guards would mistake her jitters for someone participating in a heist. The elevator dinged on floor number four and Julie stepped off.

She checked her watch. Plenty of time until her parents would arrive. Room seventeen was just ahead. Her paws trembled so hard they dropped the key. Twice.

Then she was inside. Just a perfectly normal room. Burgundy carpet, thick as a bathmat. A huge bed with gold-colored sheets. Dingy little kitchen, tiny bathroom. And a dresser. Julie tipped her head back and dropped the key past her lips. She winced and felt the bulge in her throat as it went down. The key was not meant to exist either, as any duplicate matter, even something so small, might disrupt more than she intended.

Taking a deep breath, she crossed the room to the dresser drawers and hopped up, buttfirst, onto the wooden rectangle. Her pussy was angrily demanding she play with it right this very second, but Julie knew she'd have plenty of time for fun soon enough. Besides, she didn't want to cum and fall off and knock herself unconscious on the bedpost. That *might* stop her parents from having sex and conceiving her, but she wanted to be awake to appreciate it.

Instead, Julie drew up her feet, opened a drawer, and lightly stepped in. Her modest heels clonked against a Gideon Bible and some pamphlets for nearby attractions. The wolfess reached into her jacket and found the little vial of potion she and Belinda had brewed together. Their last. They'd made so many and had so much fun drinking them. One time Julie ended up so ticklish that she'd had to lay flat on her bed unmoving for five hours otherwise she was certain she'd asphyxiate from laughter. Another one had turned them both into cute little octogenarians, and they'd gone out on the town, having fun talking about big cocks in front of scandalized pedestrians. They'd done the same thing in line to see Santa when they'd made themselves seven.

But this last little potion was something special. Julie closed her eyes and began to meditate. She'd need to be calm and concentrate for this. Magic depended, to a large extent, on the mental state of whomever it was acting upon. This particular transformation required a sharp, calm mind to make sure every detail came out right. Temporary spells among friends were easier, but a permanent transformation, like this one, required an adamant willingness.

When she was ready, she drank the potion. It tasted like used bubble gum.

A shudder ran through her body. Her fur stood on end. She smiled as she let her mind guide the magic fluid inside her. "Yes, that's right. I won't resist. Do what we made you to do," she murmured encouragingly as she felt her flesh loosening. Her clothes began shifting around.

She kept herself still and did not open her eyes as the changes began to take place. She wanted to concentrate entirely on touch. She felt her fur melting, dripping, turning slippery on her skin. Her facial features and digits started getting softer, less distinct. Timing was crucial here; she had to make sure she'd end up *within* the dresser, not on top of it. Otherwise Daddy might think she was something another couple had left behind, not a complementary gift from the hotel staff. She didn't want to end up in the wastebasket.

Her clothing crinkled as it crept up her legs and over her face. She did not let herself worry as it covered her nose and blocked off oxygen; in a few moments she wouldn't need it anyway. She could already feel her organs turning into air. It was a lovely sensation. Like soda bubbles popping on her tongue. She felt her heart, lungs and brain whisper away, and her bones start losing their strength too.

Now! Now when she could still move, but didn't weigh enough anymore to worry about breaking the drawer. She pulled herself onto its thin surface and it only creaked a little. Her legs were collapsing in on themselves. Her outfit had become an aluminum sleeping bag. With her last few moments of ambulatory motion, she did her best to close the drawer as far as she could. Her hands melted into her arms soon enough, but she'd succeeded fairly well. And this way there was still a crack left to let in sound.

Proud of herself for her excellent timing, Julie settled in and let the potion finish. Her muzzle smoothed out into shiny flatness. Ditto her cunny. Her legs became a firm rubber ring and her arms became nothing. She felt the top of her head form into a reservoir tip. The pleasant scent of lubrication surrounded her, though how she was still able to smell was unclear. She could still hear a bit too, though the condom wrapper blacked off her vision. She wondered what brand she'd ended up as.

Now all she had to do was wait. The drawer was cozy, her wrapper cozier still. Julie felt safe and snuggly in her little foil packet. Happily immobile, slick and jiggly. A perfectly ordinary little pink condom, no different from a million others.

She continued meditating, since there was nothing else to do until her parents showed up.

And soon enough they did. Julie grinned without a mouth as she heard a key turning in a lock. Then came the thumping, wobbly footsteps of a panting husband carrying his giggling bride across the threshold. Mommy and Daddy chitchatted a blue streak, interrupting each other's sentences with kisses. 'I suppose it's incorrect to call them Mommy and Daddy,' Julie thought, 'since if I succeed they won't be.'

That brought her another thought. Maybe her parents would become parents again later. They'd said they planned to. Maybe, by stepping out of the way now, Julie was allowing a baby sister or brother to take her place. That thought made her feel good.

It also made her feel good to listen to the two wolves in the room clawing at buttons and tossing shoes to and fro. Julie could feel their passion. She nearly vibrated with joy to be so close to their love. She wished she could cheer them on with flips and pompons.

Soon there came a thump and a chortle as a lady wolf was tossed onto a gold-colored bed. Then the frantic patting of pockets. Then the unzipping of a suitcase.

"Howie, what is it?"

"I, uh... They've gotta be somewhere, dammit, I *know* I brought 'em... Just a minute, moon pie. I'm looking for some rubbers."

"It won't kill us if we don't find any," his wife replied softly.

There was a pause. "But... We discussed..."

"I know. And I still agree. But I need you right now so much that if it means taking a risk..."

Julie could feel the smile he gave her.

"Allright, puddin' buns. But let me check the dresser first."

Julie tensed in anticipation.

"Maybe the hotel provided so- Well hot dog! Looky here!"

A giant paw descended towards the excited little condom.

"Now that's thoughtful service! *Whew*! We woulda had to roll the dice otherwise."

Julie could hear the tiniest splinter of disappointment in his voice, but it didn't stop him from tearing open her wrapper.

Light poured in as he pulled her out. Ohhh, his warm fingers felt nice on her! His fingerprints felt like they were ribbed for her pleasure. Julie looked around to see her mother with a ferociously needy look in her eye, and her father's cock already concrete-hard and red as a beetroot.

Clawtips touched her latex sides oh-so-gently as she was slowly rolled onto her father's enormous erection. Julie was damn glad she didn't have a mouth anymore, because her howls of bliss would have surely caused her parents some alarm. Her rubbery body was unrestrained by a skeletal structure, free to move and stretch in every direction. Daddy's dickflesh felt boiling hot, filling her up more fully than any boy or dildo she'd ever had. His fat tip snuggled up inside her head where her brain used to be. Her body was his shaft. Nothing she'd ever done to herself had ever felt so fulfilling. The only thing better would be the inevitable climax.

Howie pounced onto the end of the bed and crawled up towards his new bride. He grabbed her by the shoulders and piledrived his muzzle into hers. They kissed hard and fierce, like their nonev ancestors tearing into a tasty rabbit's underbelly. Tonight they were each other's prey, and each other's predators. Connie's slender paw reached down to grant her husband access to the vault.

Julie cooed to feel her mother's touch one last time. It reminded her of all the lullabies she'd been sung, all the hugs, all the perfect moments. 'Sorry for erasing that, Mom,' she thought. 'You too, Daddy. But then, you won't miss me. And I couldn't stop myself now even if I wanted to. I don't think I ever could have. My destiny was always this. My destiny was to be my own undoing.'

That thought filled her with an odd rush of calmness. She shivered and wondered if Daddy felt it. She looked up ahead to see her mother's pink petals in bloom, drenched in dew. She was thrusting right towards the center. There was no turning back. She knew she'd made the right choice.

Knowing she wasn't audible to either of them, she let herself scream as loud as she wanted as she and Daddy plunged into Mommy's hot darkness. The tunnel she'd been born from, that she'd never be born from. Julie's latex flesh glided frictionlessly along the insides of the coral cavern. Then she was exiting again, and entering again, over and over.

She could hear Mommy growling lustily, sounding like the she-wolf in heat she was. Daddy bit gently at her neck, snorting hot breaths through his nose. He pounded into his beloved like he was digging to China. Julie loved being along for the ride. She felt like dual fires were raging inside and outside of her. Blood-swelled flesh pulsed with passion and need all around her. She worried she might break, but then stopped herself. A good condom could stretch far enough to fit an arm inside. And Daddy wasn't *quite* that big.

Back and forth, in and out, making the bedframe creak and bash rhythmically against the wall. Connie bit her lip to stifle her howls and drew a bead of blood. Howie kissed her and tasted it. Between breaths, barely-discernible iloveyous poured out of their mouths into each other's ears.

Julie kept having to drag herself back to her senses. She couldn't lose herself in the moment when she was so close to losing herself forever! She had to savor this. Every sight, sound, scent and sensation. This was IT! The big it! The ultimate moment! Her absolute favorite fantasy made real. She was literally living the dream. And when big Poppa popped, so would she. She had no idea what it would feel like, but she knew for sure it was worth giving up everything to find out. 

She stretched and strained and moaned as Daddy's freight train of a cock tried to punch its way through her thin, quivering sides. But her rubber held strong, doing what it was meant to do. Her purpose was to prevent pregnancy. To prevent Julie. This was the coolest kamikaze mission in all the universe.

"HOLY FUGGIN' SHIT, CONNNIE, I LOVE YOU!!!" Howie roared like an unhinged feral beast.

"FUCK MY PELVIS IN HALF, YOU MONSTER!!!" she screamed back, and savagely kissed him.

"So close! So c-c-close!!" he whimpered.

"Give it to me, Howie! Make me your queen!"

Julie begged, just as fervently, for oblivion to come and claim her as his own lover.

And then her father tensed. She felt the shudder ripple all through his length. It was happening! She fought to control her heartbeat until she remembered she was only imagining hers. The gargantuan wolfmeat inside her clenched, then the vein underneath seemed to inflate...

Then Julie was bathed in the most mind-obliterating pleasure she had ever experienced. Gallons upon gallons upon TONS and TONS of thick, beautiful, hot white wolfcum! Creaming her from head to toe! Filling her up like a water balloon! Her purpose fulfilled! Her destiny fulfilled! The white torrent washed over her and through her, wiping away everything she had ever been.

Her vision dulled and danced with sparkles. She felt lightheaded. It was almost exactly like the first time, when she'd nearly masturbated herself into unconsciousness imagining this moment. Except now it was here and real! She was right on the edge of being fucked into nonexistence! First Mommy and Daddy had made love to create her, and now they'd made love to annihilate her!

Julie felt her consciousness spinning. She could feel the threads of her infinite soul unraveling. Each string plucked sent vibrations ringing through her, like the universe had made her a violin. She could feel her memories, her senses, her everything coming apart. Blasted irretrievably across time and space, permanently dissipating into cosmic droplets of energy.

'Thank you, Daddy! Thank you, Mommy!'

Julie wasn't just cumming, she _was_ cumming. She had become the very concept of cumming. Orgasm incarnate! Nearly everything else had been erased but her ability to feel pleasure. She was exploding at her soulseams with the perfect thrill of ultimate destruction.

Her last thought: 'WORTH IT!'

And then her threads snapped, and every facet of herself evaporated away across the emptiness like beads from a broken necklace scattering across a wooden floor. The void pulled her into its cloak and kissed the life eternal out of her.

Julie ceased existence as the happiest being in the cosmos.









*****









Consciousness.

'Dammit.'

It was no fun if she survived, she thought. But somehow she had. Thought was all she seemed to be at the moment, then tactile sensations started coming through too, like voices on a staticky radio.

Stickiness. Warmth. Floppiness. And she had a heckuva leg cramp.

It wasn't too long before she figured it out. She was still a condom, filled with sloshy white frosting, tied in a knot and thrown away in a hotel wastebasket.

She wondered how, but then her question was answered by the sound of bedsprings.

She should have turned herself into a whole roll of condoms, she realized with a sigh. Because Mommy and Daddy had caught a second wind and, obviously, decided to risk a second round. Which would inevitably result in a little wolf girl floating in Mommy's tummy.

'Gee, I wonder what I'll be named this time,' thought Kelly.

She considered her situation. It might be possible to try again. The potion hadn't left her after all. Maybe, if she really concentrated, she could get herself into a quasi-wolflike form, enough to make the gestures necessary to draw the time circle and return to her present and Belinda, then come back to try again later.

Or maybe not. She'd lived her greatest fantasy. And it was WONDERFUL!!! Everything she could have hoped for. She'd toppled off the precipice over ultimate nothingness and somehow still existed to enjoy it. Maybe she'd go back to her old life, apologize to her boss for quitting just before a weekend shift, and see what else life had in store for her. Maybe Belinda had even arranged this; unwilling to truly lose her best friend forever.

'Then again,' Kelly considered, 'I could just stay here.' That was an option. Having a roundly-stretched tummy full of Daddy's exquisitely tasty cum was an absolute treat. She liked how it looked through her pink, translucent skin. And there was no real hurry. With time travel, you had *more* than all the time in the world. 'Yes,' she decided. For now she'd just rest in this cozy little bin, amongst the candy wrappers and room service menus, enjoying her fullness and the sound of her parents loving one another.

She suddenly wondered how long she had until the maids came in and emptied the garbage. 'Oh dear,' she thought. 'I hope this hotel doesn't have an incinerator.'

'...Or *do* I?'





 ~~~~~
THE END?
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started 04/06/2014, 10:29pm, ended 04/07/2014, 12:55am, editing completed 05/20/2014
