~~~~~




PART EIGHT
~~~~~

"Here we are." Thanophile got out and slammed the car door. "You have to give it a bit of a shove; she's old."

Lily swung her door shut so hard the car shook.

"Not _that_ hard." They both laughed.

They were standing outside Thanophile's apartment complex; an amazingly normal-looking three-story structure shaped like half a letter 'H'.

As they walked up to the door, Lily realized something. "Hey, you never did tell me your real name. We're not on the internet anymore, it should be safe."

He stumbled for a second, then looked back with embarrassment clearly on his face. "Um..."

"Well?" Lily gave him her most persuasive stare.

He sighed. "...It's Gordon Delevane."

Lily's eyebrows went up. "Really? I never pictured you as a Gordon."

He fumbled his key into the lock. "Me either. Quite frankly, I try to keep as many of my friends as possible from finding out my first name. It just sounds dumb to me; I hate those 'o' sounds. I much prefer Thanophile."

"I do too," Lily assured him.

As they stepped inside, into the relief of a warm hallway, Thanophile paused just a moment to check his mail. Lily noticed a black label on the mail slot reading: DELEVANE. It seemed so strange to think of him with any other name but Thanophile.

'Just further proof this ain't the internet anymore,' she thought.


~~~~~


The lock made a crunching noise when Thanophile turned the key.

"It always does that," he assured.

Lily was excited to finally see where her idol lived. Considering how un-spooky his life had turned out to be so far, she kinda doubted there's be skulls on the walls or a guillotine in the living room. 'Although that would be really, really cool,' she mentally added.

The door opened on a short, dark hallway. Thanophile closed the door behind them, then flicked on the light. "You can hang your jacket up here, shortcake."

"Hey..." She gave him a look as she sloughed her hoodie off.

He returned a warm smile and patted her ears. "It wasn't a height joke. I'm just saying you look sweet enough to sink my teeth into."

"Oooooooh!!" That cheered her up right away!

Lily looked beyond him to the rest of the apartment. She could see a normal-looking bathroom done in sea-green tile, a normal-looking office-type-place where Thanophile kept his computer (which was much nicer-looking than hers, she thought with a bit of envy), a chest-high cabinet that hosted a phone and uncountable sheets of paper; obviously a message center, and part of a normal-looking kitchen with a really tall refrigerator in it.

Thanophile shook out his fur after hanging up his jacket. Underneath he was wearing an equally green shirt and a dark brown vest, buttoned down the front. "I know it's not much, and probably a lot less exciting than you were expecting, but I try to keep as much of my weirdness in here," he tapped his forehead, "instead of out in plain sight."

Lily thought that was reasonable.

"Um, could you scoot into the livingroom for a second? I have something I want to set up in the bedroom," he asked.

Lily's ears perked up. "In the _bedroom_?" she asked with a flirty lilt.

He 'beep'ed her on the nose. "In the bedroom," he confirmed.

As Thanophile turned and slipped behind the closed door opposite the bathroom, Lily peeked around the hall corner. The livingroom was as unremarkable as the rest of the apartment, but appeared quite comfortable. Thanophile had a big, fat squashy faux-leather sofa that looked like she'd sink half a foot into it if she sat on it. There were several bookshelves, a flat screen TV, a pretty big collection of DVDs and music, plus what appeared to be a foot massager. At the far wall, a wide window looked out across a scenic chunk of the city. She hadn't realized until now that they were on the top floor. Just high up enough to get a really nice view. Lily might've leaned on the sill to look down and see how far up they were, but most of the space there was taken up by a collection of houseplants. In the corner, hanging from the ceiling, a spider plant's dreadlocks hung down almost to the floor.

"Lily? I'm ready."

Lily turned around and forgot about the window in a flash. "Coming!"

She stepped into the bedroom. And for a moment, she froze up like a store mannequin.

There was no way she could possibly believe that what her eyes were looking at was really real.

"It's... it's..."

"Do you like it?" Thanophile asked.

"It's BEAUTIFUL!!!" she exploded.

Set up in the middle of the room, in a place of honor like a shrine, was the coffin of Lily's dreams. It was just like she'd described to him. *Exactly* how she'd described. Dark and light shades of warm, inviting brown chased each other through the whorls in the shiny smooth lacquered wood. The gold handles gleamed regally. The top was open, showing off the cotton-candy pink interior: fluffy silk sides and an equally fluffy head pillow. It looked like the most comfortable place in the world to lie down and sleep forever. It looked like a slice of Heaven made real. And it looked exactly her size.

Weeping tears of unbelievable joy, Lily flung herself at Thanophile and hugged him so hard she left little round impressions of his vest buttons in his flesh. "It's GORGEOUS! Oh my God, HOW did you ever...!?"

"It wasn't easy," he said. He stroked the back of her head lovingly, feeling a deep satisfaction inside at having made her so happy. Watching her face as she walked in was one of the greatest moments of his life. He was exhilarated to have given her this moment; seeing her fantasy come true.

Thanophile's warm, rich voice whispered ticklingly in Lily's ear. "You can't imagine the trouble I went through getting that thing. I had to tell the funeral home this elaborate lie that I was a theater director and we were putting on a play that required a real coffin as the central prop. It was the only way I could think of to buy a little girl's coffin and not arouse suspicion! Not to say they *weren't* suspicious. They asked me a million questions, and I've never been more grateful to be such a good liar. I made up all sorts of stuff right there on the spot. In fact, the plot of the play I made up was so good, I even wrote it down when I got home!"

Lily looked up. "Will you read it to me later?"

"Sure, sweetheart." He tenderly kissed her forehead. Then he hooked a thumb at the casket. "That thing nearly cost me more money than my *car* did when I first bought it. And getting it up the stairs was an absolute nightmare!" She chuckled, and he gently removed her glasses, set them aside, and kissed the bridge of her nose. "But it was all worth it to see you so happy. Every penny, every ounce of effort. All worth it."

Lily let out a small whimper of pleasure and hugged him again. She held him for a very long time.

Finally, he said, "Would you like to try it out?"

Her head popped up like it was spring-loaded. "More than anything!!"

Smiling at her exuberance, he stood up, cracked his knees, and stretched a bit. "Well then, let me take your shoes off first."

Lily started untying her left. "Oh, I can do that."

He knelt down in front of her, looking fidgety. "Um, actually, I'd like to. If you don't mind."

"Ohhh... Is it like, a fetish thing?" she said, making it clear from her tone she didn't mind.

Thanophile took her little shod paw in his hands. "A little. I've just been curious, you know?" He leaned in closer and rubbed his cheek on the scuffed, soft leather. Lily giggled.

Almost reverently, Thanophile finished untying the laces, then did so for the other shoe. He slowly pulled them off, getting a whiff of female squirrel foot odor.

"Whew! Sorry," Lily said, a bit embarrassed by their bouquet. She *had* been walking around rather a lot today.

He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent. "Actually, I don't mind at all. I like it. It's strong, but it's you. Do you understand?"

"You like how I smell because it's *my* smell?" she asked.

He nodded, implying that 'like' was an understatement. He leaned in again and pressed his moist, wide nose right in the middle of her socked left sole.

Lily squealed out a delighted giggle.

He grinned, glad she was enjoying this too. He placed his nose on her other sole and inhaled again. After running his muzzle along and around her sock fabric for a minute or so, he pulled them off to get a look at Lily's hindpaws.

"They're like little works of art," he told her.

She burst out laughing. "Really? Seriously? I mean, they're just feet."

"They're _your_ feet," he corrected. "That makes them the most wonderful feet in the world to me." The fur on Lily's petite paws was a bit lighter than on her legs; the difference between a shiny new penny and an old, worn one. Each of her toes had a little dark pad on the underside, and her soles were furless too. They wrinkled cutely when she flexed her feet. Thanophile closed his eyes again and covered Lily's soles in tiny kisses, inhaling deeply with every breath.

Lily let herself fall back on the bed, as her arms couldn't hold her up anymore. She put her paws over her muzzle to keep her giggles in. Thanophile's gentle movements down there were delightful, but extremely tickly!

After nearly five minutes, Thanophile paused. "Well, I guess that's enough. I don't want to keep you from enjoying your new coffin any longer."

"It's okay; I was enjoying that just fine," she reassured him. Then grinned. "But yeah, I can't wait to get in there!" She sat all the way up and put her arms around him. "Plus, you can kiss my feet for as long as you like once I'm a corpse," she said with a sultry lilt.

Thanophile's grin grew so wide it nearly split his head in half. "I should let you know; I'm having a hard time restraining myself right now!"

"Why bother?" she replied flirtatiously. "We're here because we both want to live out our fantasies. You don't have to be shy. I know you've probly got a great big huge boner right now. I don't mind."

He flinched. "Heh. Well, um, it's not all that big, really."

She bit her lip in an extremely cute expression of interest. "Can I see...?"

Taking deep breaths, clearly nervous, Thanophile stood up in front of her. 'I am really about to take my clothes off in front of a twelve-year-old girl,' he thought. 'But she's not *just* a twelve-year-old. She's Lily. We've discussed this. She's right; we both know why we're here and what we want." Shaking a little, he slipped off his vest, then his shirt.

Thanophile's fur looked really fluffy and soft, Lily thought. Quite snugglable. "The pants, the pants!" she cheered.

Blushing even more now, but glad she wasn't anywhere as timid as he was, he undid his belt. He dropped it to the floor, pulled down his zipper, and with a whoosh of fabric, revealed his boxers.

Lily tumbled backwards laughing.

"I told you I keep my weird stuff where most people can't see!" he said with a grin.

"Where did you FIND those!?"

Thanophile's boxers were dark navy blue, covered in little grey tombstones, each one with a full moon behind it. "I was out clothes shopping around Halloween a few years back and they were right there on the shelf! It was perfect."

"They look great on you. The blue goes nice with your brown fur," she said. "And I just *knew* sooner or later you'd stop being so darn normal!"

"This is pretty much it for me. I've always been a bit over-paranoid about people finding out about my fetishes. Aside from some other halloween-type stuff that makes me think naughty things, the only other non-normal stuff in the house is on my computer. One year I found a plastic window hanger-upper thing of this incredibly cute little zombie girl. I bought it in a heartbeat."

"Ooh, I'd like to see that later!" Needless to say, Lily had always liked Halloween decorations, and had even encountered a few of her own that had made her think naughty thoughts. "You're still wearing them though," she reminded him, pointing to the boxers.

"Right. Okay then..."

"Leave the socks," she said before he could go further. "Um, I think someone naked except for their socks is really hot. Dunno why, but..."

"Will do, sweetheart." He stepped out of his shoes, then shuffled off his pants. Now it was time for the boxers. Wincing in embarrassment, he pulled them down.

Lily shut her mouth tight to keep from saying anything. It really was quite little.

Thanophile shrugged. "What can I say? I'm actually only a bit below normal. The problem with the internet is that in all the pictures you see, everyone has these monster cocks and it's really unrealistic."

Lily looked at it, appraising it like a piece of fine art. Despite its size, it was actually quite aesthetically pleasing. "Your sheath looks like a little turtleneck!" she pointed out.

"In this weather, is that surprising?" he quipped. They both broke up. "Hey, that wasn't bad! I might write that down later."

He turned and sat down on the bed beside her, glad to see that she didn't flinch in the slightest. She wasn't scared. She didn't mind that he was naked. His relief was nearly tangible. "And also... Um... It's kind of a good thing it's so small," he said quietly.

"Why?"

"Be... Because if we decide to yiff later..." He softly patted her thigh. "It won't hurt your little muff."

'What a cute word!' Lily immediately thought. She thought Thanophile's nervousness was cute too. She reached over and boldly placed her paw over his genitals. "Plus, that also means it'll be easier to fit it all in my *mouth*."

She felt his cock twitch! "Cool! You like that idea, huh? That I totally wanna blow you and yiff you and whatever else we can think up?"

Thanophile was almost *vibrating*. "You are a dream come true, Lily."

"So are you," she told him matter-of-factly. His shyness was cute and all, but they only had so much time left together to do fun stuff.

"Um... Wo... Would you like to... To take your..." he stuttered.

"You want me to get naked too?"

"Only if you're comfortable with that," he replied instantly.

Lily sighed. "You know I really don't like how I look, but okay..." She began to shuck off her shirt.

"Why wouldn't you like how you look, sweetheart?" he said softly. "I do."

She gave him a bashful little smile. "I know. And thanks. But for starters, I wish I didn't have this tummy." She gave it a pat and was embarrassed by how much like Jell-o it moved.

He shrugged. "I've got one too if it makes you feel better."

"True. I guess everyone wishes they looked different, huh?"

"Almost everyone," he concurred.

Lily stood up and slid her sweatpants down. She liked seeing her clothes and his lying in a pile together.

"Your panties are incredibly cute. It looks like they're made of strawberry ice cream."

Lily giggled and hesitated a bit before pulling the pink garment down. There. Now they were both nude. 'Except for his socks!' she reminded herself.

Thanophile took a moment to stare. He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You're an angel," he finally said. "Your muff looks even pinker than your panties. You're perfect."

Lily tensed, so unused to physical complements that they made her a little uncomfortable. She squirmed a bit, feeling exposed.

He picked up on her self-consciousness. He held up his paw and made his fingers into a gun. He pointed it at her forehead. "Bang," he said lovingly.

Lily picked up on the game immediately. "Ugh!" She fell back dramatically on the bed. "Am I dead now?" she whispered out of the side of her mouth.

"Yes, but you're a special magic voodoo kind of dead where you can still carry on a conversation."

She giggled. "How convenient!"

"Absolutely!" He leaned over and slid his hands under her back and legs. He braced himself, knowing he wasn't in the best shape possible and certainly not wanting to drop her or have his back go out. He gritted his teeth and lifted. She was a bit heavier than he'd prepared for. He stumbled a bit, but was able to stand up straight.

"You know, it's true," he remarked. "People *are* heavier to lift when they're dead!"

"Hee hee hee!" Lily tried her best to keep her eyes closed and remain motionless like a good little corpse.

"Here we go. Time to get you into your coffin before you get all rotty and stinky." Lily giggled some more as he gingerly crossed the room towards the casket. He prayed he'd have enough strength to let her down gently. It wasn't that she was too chubby, just that he was pretty much a bona-fide wimp.

Thankfully for both of them, Thanophile settled Lily in for a perfect landing. She cooed when she felt the cushiony cool silk touch her fur. She could feel the smoothness with her pawpads. It was like lying on a bed of whipped cream. It really _was_ the most comfortable thing she'd ever lain on. 'And soon I'll be in the ground, lying here forever!' she thought, then shivered with pleasure.

"Comfy?" he asked, once he'd gotten his breath back.

"More than I've ever been in my whole life," she replied, eyes still closed.

"Makes me happy to hear that. I actually ripped up the inside and put down a layer of that memory foam stuff before replacing the silk. It was hard as a plank before." He took one of the handles at the end and began to scoot the coffin across the room, over to the bed. He'd rearranged the whole bedroom so he'd have the space necessary for them to lie face to face. His bed rested flat on the floor anyway, which made it easier. "Get ready for a little bump," he warned. A moment later, he lined the coffin up against the side of his mattress and nudged it flush with the wall. "That's better."

He flopped down on the bed and wriggled over beside her, as close as possible. "Boo."

She opened one eye, just for a second, and was surprised to see him so close. "Good idea. It's like we're sleeping together, but I'm in my cozy coffin and you're in your bed."

"Exactly. Just seeing you in there makes me stiff as a barbell. You are absolutely gorgeous, Lily. You look like you and that coffin were destined for each other."

She chittered and wiggled around. The silk made pleasant shuffling sounds whenever she moved.

"So," he said, "have you given any thought to how you'd like to die?" He reached over to brush his fingers through her hair.

"I told you I don't mind if you decide. In fact, I want you to. Please, surprise me. I don't want to know when it's coming or how you'll do it. I just want it to be exciting and close, something where we can both savor it."

"And painless?"

She nodded, before realizing dead squirrels weren't supposed to do that. "Yes."

"That shouldn't be a problem. Did I tell you I'm a pharmacist?"

"Nuh-uh." There was another thing she would never have expected about him.

"I could potentially get in a lot of trouble for this, but considering how far we're going with this whole thing, I think it's worth it. Y'see, I've 'appropriated' several drugs from where I work. Anesthetics, and... Other things."

"Ooh!" The way he'd said that made it sound exciting! Like a mad scientist planning to inject her with secret, deadly serums.

"You have nothing to worry about. I was always pretty close to the top of my class in college and I do my job exceptionally well. Not to brag, of course. I'm just letting you know; if you want it to be painless, it will be. You won't feel a thing."

"...Except horny." she added.

He snorted laughing. "Yes, well, that. I gotta admit, my fetish is one of the reasons I ended up with this job. Even when I was younger than you, I was fascinated by death and anatomy. I used to read medical textbooks in grade school. For fun! And it's kind of exciting, knowing I work with all these deadly poisons. If I wanted to, I could place just one little drop on someone's sandwich and, *boom*, they'd drop down dead."

Lily murred, agreeing that that was pretty exciting. And also knowing Thanophile well enough that these were only fantasies and he'd never _ever_ hurt or kill anyone without their explicit consent.

"It's not even really a temptation. I'd never do anything like that for real, not even sprinkling some Dantrophol in Shirley's coffee for a prank."

Lily furrowed her brow. "'Dantrophol'?"

"Most powerful prescription-strength laxative in the world," he clarified. "And I only ever *thought* about it!"

Lily giggled so hard the coffin shook.

"I don't have any trouble keeping my thoughts from becoming more than just that. I think the reason some people snap and do all sort of perverted shit in public is that they *deny* their fantasies. They think, 'Oh, that's horrible! I'm a bad furson if I let myself think about that!'. So they ball it up inside them until it blows up. But we can't control our thoughts. They're just there. In fact, have I told you how proud I am of you for being brave enough to accept yours?"

"Yep. In an email," she replied.

"Good. Just wanted to be sure. Because I *am* proud of you. There's nothing wrong with thinking outrageous thoughts and letting them pass. Like, if I see an adorable little girl come in and her mommy's filling her bronchitis prescription, I might think about giving her cyanide tablets instead. And it's only a thought. I have an evil chuckle about it and get on with my day. I don't even need to paw off in the breakroom. ...Except for that one time."

She chuckled. "When was that?"

"When I was thinking about you," he replied straightforward.

She sighed. "Awww. That's so sweet."

He remembered something then. Something he'd been wanting to talk with her about for some time now. He'd wanted to wait until they were face to face to bring it up, and now they certainly were. He paused for a moment, choosing his next words very, very carefully. "Lily... When you took off your clothes for me..."

"Yes?"

"You seemed..." He hesitated. "Lily, do you think you're ugly?"

Her little face darkened to a frown. She didn't reply for several seconds. Then she said, almost silently, "Yes."

He nodded, knowing already. "Do you think you're too fat?"

This time she didn't hesitate. "Yes."

He hated hearing her say those words. Hated knowing why she felt that way about herself. "Lily... Listen to me carefully."

Her ears perked up.

He took a deep breath, then came out with it. "You _are_ ugly and you _are_ too fat."

Lily's whole body stiffened. She gasped sharply, unable to believe what he'd just said. Was this all some trick? Some horrible mind game like what her parents did to her!?

She opened her mouth to speak, but felt a gentle finger touch her lips and keep them closed. "Just listen for a second, sweetheart," he said, as tenderly and lovingly as she'd ever heard him speak before.

"What I said is true, but it's also not true. By society's standards, yes, you are ugly and fat. By the anatomically-impossible standards of a bunch of coldhearted men who decide how *they* want women to look, you are ugly. And by the standards of stick-thin models who are killing themselves with eating disorders, you are too fat.

"But in MY opinion, you're the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen."

He moved closer to lean into the coffin and kiss her forehead. "Now, whose opinion do you think is more important?"

Lily was crying. She turned over and reached out to hug him. She put her face on his shoulder and sobbed.

"Lily, sweetheart, little angel, I want you to accept what your body looks like. Accept that you'll never meet some ridiculous, cruel, nonexistent ideal, and be happy with that. Be happy that you look the way a normal, healthy girl your age should look. Say to yourself, 'I don't care that stupid ads on TV and magazines are telling me I'm ugly or fat. I don't care that my stupid, awful parents call me those things. I like how I look.'"

"...I like how I look," Lily whispered, barely louder than a breath.

"And I like how you look too," he said.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Thanophile did not move a muscle, even when his foot fell asleep. He held her while she cried as long as she needed him to.


~~~~~




PART NINE
~~~~~

A paw jostled her shoulder. "C'mon, sleepypaws. Time to wake the dead."

Lily blinked, then let out a great big yawn. "Where am..." The coffin! She remembered now. She looked up to see Thanophile standing above her, fully clothed again. He was smiling, and holding a giant spoon for some reason.

"I guess I cried myself to sleep..." she said bashfully.

He knelt down closer. "You certainly did. And there's nothing wrong with that. I think you needed to."

She sat up a little. "Thank you for telling me all that stuff. I was really shocked when you first said it, but then I understood why. And you're right; I shouldn't let my dumb parents decide whether I like myself. I mean... I *do* still wish I was prettier. But I'm never going to be; not by any kind of magic. This is how I look. Total permanent forever. And if you like it... Then I'm happy."

He hugged her, immensely proud. "I think maybe the reason you cried so hard is that you've finally accepted that just wishing won't make you look different, and it was kind of like grieving for that lost idea. When we dream of something for a long time, even if it's hurting us to do so, it still also hurts to give it up."

Lily nodded solemnly.

"You also understand why I wanted to wait and tell you this in furson, right? There's no way I could say the same things in an email and have you understand them. They'd sound cruel. I had to let you know that I was telling you because I love you so much."

"I understand completely," she said. She gave him another quickie hug. "Now, why do you have a spoon?"

He looked down at his hand and was startled to find it there. Like it had appeared by magic. "Well, I'm almost done with dinner, and I've been stirring for half an hour now. Reflex, I guess."

Lily licked her lips. "What're we having?" She sniffed the air. "Wow, it smells good!"

"Ever had homemade ravioli? Not frozen ones heated up, but actual seasoned ground beef rolled up in little pasta blanket-thingies? I even made the sauce from scratch."

Lily's eyes bugged out a little. "Damn, that sounds good!!"

He chuckled. "I imagine *cardboard* must sound good after your mother's cooking. Come on." He grasped her forearm and helped her get up out of the coffin.

Once she'd stepped nimbly down off the bed, she reached over to the clothes pile for her panties.

"Why bother?" he said.

She thought a bit. "Yeah, good point!"


~~~~~


Thanophile walked through the livingroom, a naked squirrel cub in tow. He showed her to the small dining nook, which was arranged next to the kitchen but also close enough to the living room that he could watch TV if he desired. The table was already set for two. He pulled out Lily's chair like a gentleman and she sat down with a grateful smile in response.

"Gimme just a second and I'll finish up and turn the stove off," he said.

"Okey-dokey pukey-dukey," Lily replied.

Thanophile paused for a second, puzzled. "...What was that?"

Lily suddenly burst out giggling. "Oh my god, that's something I used to say when I was in second grade! I don't know how I even remembered it now!" She heard him chuckle from the other room.

He came out a few seconds later bearing a steaming plate of pasta-pillows in one hand, an equally-steaming pot of sauce in the other.

"Don't trip!" she cautioned.

"I'll try," he said through gritted teeth as he nervously sat the sauce down on the table. "I'd be cleaning this out of the rug for weeks..." He positioned the ravioli as well, then dashed back to the kitchen, this time reemerging with two bottles of dressing and two bowls of romaine salad. "Hate to admit it, but this stuff's not homemade. Came from a bag. Fresh produce is getting mucho expensive these days. Italian or bleu cheese?"

"Uh... bleu cheese, I guess. I've never had it before." He nodded and set the bottle in front of her.

He sat down on the opposite side of the table and tucked a napkin into his collar. "Wish we had some candles."

"It's romantic enough like this," Lily said.

"Glad you think so. Here, let me..." He reached across to take her plate. He placed three raviolis on it an an aesthetic arrangement, then drizzled sauce over each, ending with a sprinkle of parmesan and shredded parsley.

Lily was impressed. "It looks almost too good to eat now! Like something I'd expect from a fancy restaurant."

He shrugged modestly. "What can I say? I like to cook and I like to show off."

Lily's eyes sparkled. "Are you gonna poison my food?" she inquired with a naughty grin.

He slyly arched an eyebrow. "Mmmmmaybe..."

She squealed in delight.

"Actually, I have another surprise," he told her as he finished serving himself. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," she said immediately.

He nodded. "Then hold your paws out over my plate."

Curious, she reached over the table. "Like this?"

He took her paws in his and positioned them the way he wanted, the brief touch giving both their hearts a spark. "Paws up," he said, turning them over. Exposing her wrists.

Lily's eyes widened when he reached in his breast pocket and pulled out a straight razor.

He opened it. The brand-new metal gleamed bright.

Neither spoke. Lily held her breath as Thanophile touched the deadly blade ever-so-gently to her left wrist. He did not have to tell her to keep still. He drew the razor swiftly across her skin; so quick she didn't feel a thing. Then he did the same with her right.

He took her paws in his again and eased the flesh open.

Two perfect pearls of red appeared on Lily's wrists.

Thanophile turned her paws over and squeezed her wrists. Tiny trickles of blood fell onto his meal, the bright crimson lost immediately in the darker shade of the tomato sauce.

Lily was trembling slightly as she watched. She was breathing hard. It was like she was under a spell.

The raccoon measured out exactly as much as he wanted, then turned Lily's paws over and, like magic, produced two band-aids and placed them tenderly over the cuts he'd made. Lily drew her shaking paws back. Thanophile looked at her calmly, asking her what she thought of what he'd just done.

When she finally found the voice to speak, she gulped and said, "That was _way_ more romantic than candles!"

He smiled, pleased.

"That was... Wow! For a second there, I thought you were gonna just slash 'em to the bone!"

He clucked his tongue. "That would have drowned out the flavor of the parmesan," he quipped.

Lily giggled. "Seriously though, that was *super* hot. I'm probably getting girl-juice all over your chair now."

He flicked his tongue at her. "Dessert for me."

She squirmed, imagining him doing that and trying not to get so horny she'd cum right here and now. "So, how do I taste?" she asked.

Thanophile picked up his fork, sliced off a corner of one ravioli, dipped it directly in the spot where her blood had fallen, swirled it around with the sauce a bit, then lifted it to his mouth.

He closed his eyes.

"Exquisite."


~~~~~


The before-meal entertainment had been one thing, but the food was so good it was damn near orgasmic too. Lily ate huge helpings of everything until she was stuffed tight as a beachball, shouting out compliments the whole time. Thanophile mostly kept quiet and blushed, but did answer her questions about his preparation. She could see he really did want to brag about it for a few hours or so, but was too polite to bore her.

During the meal, Lily supplied plenty of war stories about her mother's Kitchen O' Terror. She remarked that just being in the presence of Thanophile's cooking would probably make the ol' hash-slopper burst into flames. He said he'd love to see that.

He asked her several questions about her home life. How her parents made her feel, what was school like, etcetera. Lily replied with complete honesty, even though some of the questions were a little uncomfortable for her. It was easy to be honest with him though. With her parents, she'd always had to be constantly on guard. Wary of ever saying too much, of giving her true opinion, of showing her real feelings. She knew through years of experience that it was best to keep her heart hidden from them. The more they knew about the things she loved, the greater the risk they'd find some way to snatch them away just to hurt her. It was like going through life in a bulletproof vest you didn't ever dare take off.

Eventually, Lily's plate was empty and she was reduced to tracing little patterns in the remaining sauce with her fork. She stared absent-mindedly at the table, looking pensive.

Finally she spoke her mind. "Um... D'you think that our fetishes make us weirdos? Like, I know I'm not a *bad* furson because I think funerals are yiffy, and you're not a bad furson either. But do you think we're kinda like freaks? Like there's hardly anyone else out there like us?"

Thanophile 'hmm'ed. His expression clearly read; 'That's a fair question'. "In our cases? Possibly. That should be evident just from how hard it is to download any good porn of it! I think the rest of the internet sees us as a 'fringe' fetish, and one that seems to make a lot of people uncomfortable. Me with my necrophilia and you with your... ah... funeralophilia."

Lily snickered.

"But we're probably nowhere *near* alone if you think of us as part of the whole huge collection of people with strange fetishes. I've been on the net a long time, and I'm a curious guy. I've seen examples of fetishes so bizarre they've left me slack-jawed."

That made Lily curious too. "Like what?" she asked, leaning over the table at him.

He thought a bit. "Oh, um... Les'see... Toilet cleaning, plaster casts, sticky floors, wheelchairs, forced haircuts, stepping on bugs..."

"You're kidding!" she burst out.

"Not at all," Thanophile said matter-of-factly. "I've personally seen examples of each of those. There's even more out-there ones, too. More than I could list if I tried..." He rustled around in his memory further. "All the body-related ones, of course... I read a bellybutton fetish story once, and I've seen more than a few vomit ones. I've seen furs photoshop extra heads or limbs onto photos. Or erase body parts. I saw a whole site that was nothing but pictures of girls with their eyes erased."

Lily felt her brain boggling. Then she remembered an experience of her own. "I saw a sneezing fetish page once! It was actually kinda cute. I couldn't wrap my brain around why anyone could find sneezing sexy, but it was like, 'Okay, this furson enjoys it, and it's harmless, so why not?'"

Thanophile grinned. "Congratulations, Lily. You're more mature than a significant fraction of the rest of the internet. Many people coming across a site like that, their first instinct would be to troll it 'n trash it. Anonymity makes people jerks. It makes them think it's alright to try to eradicate anything they personally dislike or don't want to be bothered learning anything about."

Lily nodded fiercely. "AMEN!! I remember that asshole who called me an 'emo bitch' on the messageboard the first time I posted."

"I heard he got banned for that. Good riddance."

"Damn straight." She put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her paws. "Can you think of any more weird fetishes? I find this subject really interesting. It feels like my brain's fulla carbonation, trying to just deal with the idea that people paw off to this stuff."

He chuckled. "I don't know how many more I can remember! Uh, geez... There was the site about sniffing other people's dirty laundry. The site with all the latex mask stuff. Furs who like to play in garbage. LOTS of stuff about furries turning into food or other inanimate objects..." He started counting things off on his fingertips. "Melting, shaving, ear-fucking, farting, roadkill, balloons-"

"Balloons?" Lily perked up.

"Do I detect a hint of interest?" he asked slyly.

Lily bit her lip. "Maybe. A little. I never really thought about it before. Wait; do you mean like inflation? Furries drawing their characters blowing up real big? I've seen that. I don't get it, but I've seen it."

"Nope, I just mean people who think regular ol' party balloons are sexy."

Lily stared into space for a second as she considered the idea. It completely baffled her, and yet intrigued her. "I remember I used to love chewing on balloons when I was a kid. After they'd pop or deflate, I'd chew 'em like gum. I can really remember the texture. And the smell!"

Thanophile nodded as if that didn't surprise him. "I read a book on fetishes, and the author said that any object that has strong tactile qualities and a strange, unique odor can be a candidate for a fetish. I think since scent is the sense most strongly tied to memory, those smells probably bring up emotions that remind the furson of something happy."

Lily mulled it over. "Makes sense, I s'pose. So, *anything* with a unique feel and smell...?" She thought a bit. Then perked up. "Dryer lint," she said challengingly.

He barked out a laugh. "That actually wouldn't surprise me a bit! We'll have to get online later and do a search for hot triple-X laundry lint porno." That made Lily cackle.

Thanophile glanced at the clock. "Yeeps. If we're going to do anything at all later, I'd better start on the dishes."

"I'll help," Lily immediately offered.

Thanophile stood up and pushed his chair in. "No bother. I'll handle it. You're my guest, remember?" He picked up her plate and his, balanced their glasses and silverware on top, and headed for the kitchen.

As the raccoon left, Lily stared back at her placemat and thought about fetishes. She could hear the sink filling up in the other room. 'I'm not a weirdo,' she thought. 'If all those things he mentioned are real fetishes, then there must be *thousands* of furs who get off on weird stuff. Maybe millions. And my fetish isn't any weirder or worse than any of theirs.' It occurred to her that maybe everyone, or pretty close to almost everyone, had some secret desire they kept to themselves. Something they'd never tell anyone about. Something that made them cum like a tsunami when they thought about it. She giggled, liking the idea that the whole world was secretly populated with perverts.

"Lily?" came the raccoon's voice.

She sat up. "Yeah?"

"Actually if you don't mind, I *could* use your help."

"Sure!" She bolted out of her seat and ran around the corner. She didn't mind doing some dishes if it meant spending more time with him. She knew she'd probably be deliciously dead by tomorrow night, so she wanted to pack as much conversation and cuddling into her remaining hours as possible.

She found Thanophile standing over his double sink, full of sauce-soiled cookware on one side, hot water on the other. "Just stand right here. I'll wash; you dry and put them in the drainer, okay?"

"Not a problem!" She stepped up and marvelled at the huge pile. Cooking ravioli took a heck of a lot more paraphernalia than she'd imagined.

Thanophile pointed past the sink, down the counter. "The dish towel's right there."

Lily leaned over to get it.

Immediately, Thanophile reached out with his spread hand and shoved her head into the sink.

Water flew everywhere. Lily flailed about in a panic. Not only was he pressing her head down with steely firmness, his other hand was gripping her by the forearm, making it impossible to escape. Bubbles rose all around her as she thrashed and screamed inaudibly.

'Wait!' she thought. Her rational mind finally kicked in. 'Why I am I struggling? This is it! He's doing it! He's really doing it! He's killing me Right Now!!' She couldn't stop her body from involuntarily wriggling, but she could cease most of her struggles. Enough to let him know she understood and she was more than willing to let him continue.

The response was immediate. She felt fabric brush against her naked hiney. He was standing right behind her. He pushed forward, grinding his crotch into her rear.

'Oh my god! He's humping me! He's humping me while he drowns me in the sink! That is SO HOT!!!' Lily bucked and squirmed, no longer trying to get away; trying to push back against him and urge him on! She could feel his bulge, not seeming so small at all now as it ground insistently against her ass. Her cunny was dribbling down her leg, the moisture lost in the flood of flying splashes from the sink. 'Do it! Drown me! Kill me! Love me to death!!' her mind screamed.

Even in her death throes of passion, Lily's mind was still analytical enough to realize that Thanophile had set this up from the start: the water was pleasantly warm, not boiling, and he hadn't added any soap. 'What a guy!' she thought. 'He's the most considerate executioner I could've hoped for!'

His hand was like iron on the back of her head. Not clutching tight, just impossible to break free from. Impossible to resist. She hadn't realized he was so strong! The power in his hands... Forcing her down, keeping her from breathing... Taking the life she so desperately wanted to give him...

By now her lungs were starting to burn. She'd exhaled almost as soon as her face went under and now had to be careful not to suck down any water and choke. Instead, she shut her mouth tight and tried to concentrate everything on her pleasure. His hot, strong body rubbing against hers, her lust overwhelming, her greatest fantasy fulfilled. And just as she'd wanted, he'd surprised her. Shocked the hell out of her, actually! But that was fine. The fear made it sexier. She knew that she was his to do whatever he wanted with. And once she was dead, he would use her for all sorts of unspeakably sexy purposes...

It felt like little firecrackers were going off behind her eyes. Her brain felt wrapped in fog that was growing denser by the second. Her lungs were screaming for air. She told them to shut up and just accept it.

She was getting giddy now, feeling strangely numb.

'This is it... Here I go...'

Just as she was sure she was going to black out, she came. Her body gave a sudden shudder.

Thanophile immediately lifted her out.

Her head flew back, flinging water droplets across the whole kitchen. She gasped. Her body greedily gulped air, not caring what her mind desired.

Thanophile gave her several firm pats on the back. She coughed up some water, then stood there breathing hard for several seconds.

She looked up at him. And her first question was, naturally, "Why did you stop?"

He smiled. "Well, I thought we hadn't had nearly enough fun together yet."

She grinned and hugged him, getting his shirt all wet. Not that he minded in the slightest. "I didn't go too far, did I?" he asked.

She was panting and quaking, almost glowing with sexual energy. She'd never felt her heart beating so fast in her life! "No, that was *AWESOME*!!" she gushed. "I came like a firetruck! Oh my god, that was the sexiest thing ever! I loved when you were all bumpin' up against me. I thought you were really going to do it! I thought you were really going to kill me for real!!"

Thanophile gave her a kiss in the midst of her wet hair. "And I will. Soon. But not yet. I thought you might like to be teased a little before I do. Keep you on your toes."

She murred, letting him know she heartily approved of the idea. "So, did you come, too?"

"Right in my boxers!" he said proudly.

"Sweet!"

"Actually, I'm sticky, and you're wet already. Wanna go take a shower together?"

Lily did a little jump of joy. "Definitely! But wait, what about the dishes?"

Thanophile 'hmmph'ed. "Fuck 'em. We've got more important things to do."


~~~~~




PART TEN
~~~~~

In the bathroom, Lily watched with fascination as Thanophile got undressed again. The little room was bright, yellow-tiled and severely cramped. But that just meant they kept bumping into each other, rustling their fur together, feeling each other's warmth. Lily didn't mind the small space in the slightest.

Thanophile stepped out of his tombstone boxers. Grinning like an imp, Lily suddenly snatched them up and gave them a sniff. "Whew! Strong. I didn't know cum smelled like that. Mine doesn't, at least."

"It's not *too* gross, is it?" he asked, his cheeks reddening a bit.

"I didn't say it was gross at all." She took another appraising whiff. "I could get used to it." She turned the boxers inside out and looked at the dark, sticky patch where he'd ejaculated. It made her both proud and horny that she was looking at tangible proof of how he felt about her. Tentatively, she brought the undergarment closer and experimentally touched her tongue to the wet spot. "Not bad. I expected it to be much ickier."

She looked up and saw his penis was so hard it was almost pulsating.

She giggled coyly and hid her blushing cheeks behind her paws. "My brain still kinda can't believe you think I'm that sexy."

He bent over and gently pulled her paws away. "Your brain should learn to look at the evidence."

Lily perused his schwanz. "That's some pretty nice-looking evidence!"

He grinned and tickled her under her armpits a little, making her squeak and chitter.

Thanophile pulled back the frosted-plastic shower door and stepped in. "Join me, sweetheart?"

She obeyed, holding her hand out for him to gentlemanly assist her entrance. She liked him treating her like an honored guest. Like a princess.

The tub was just big enough for them both to comfortably stand in, but it meant elbowing the wall or the shower doors every few moments. "Watch out for that soap dish," he pointed out. "I've barked my knee on that thing more times than I can remember."

"I'll just hold onto you and stay out of its way, okay?" Lily took a step forward, opened her arms, and slowly enfolded him in their first naked hug.

A rush of warmth rippled through both of them at the contact. Lily closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest. She rubbed her cheek slowly against the chocolately-colored fur. She felt his arms move to reach down and hold her around the small of her back, then carefully, asking permission every step of the way, migrating south, until his strong paws rested on her soft, pillowy bottom.

"What a nice big butt..." he whispered lovingly in her ear.

She giggled. "I guess there are some advantages to being plump, huh?"

"I think the term 'pleasingly plump' fits you quite well, my little cuddlesquirrel."

She sighed. Letting out a peaceful, contented chitter, she nuzzled her nose into his chestfur. She found a nipple, and playfully tweaked it with her nose, then gave it a little bite. "Found an M&M," she joked.

"Don't bite it too hard. Those kind aren't supposed to come off, you know."

"Wanna bite these ones?" she asked. She reached down to take his paws in hers and guide them along the curve of her hips, up her round tummy, to her small but squeezable breasts. She moaned softly as she gave her nipples a little pinch. Then he softly rubbed them in gentle concentric circles.

"Very soft... Very beautiful..." he whispered.

"I love it when you say stuff like that."

"I love _you_, Lily." He knelt down, not as gracefully as he'd wanted; due to the slippery tub, but at least it brought their muzzles closer together so they could kiss.

Both were silent.

The kiss was simple. No magic, no cartoon fireworks exploding behind her. Just their lips touching. But Lily still couldn't imagine feeling more full of joy. Throughout her life, she had never experienced physical contact like this. Had never known what the touch of someone who truly, deeply cared about her felt like.

When the kiss ended, Thanophile suddenly looked quite nervous. And ashamed.

Lily's happiness fell. "Did I do something wrong?"

He put his paws on her shoulders. "Absolutely not! Lily, you're perfect. You couldn't be any *more* perfect. You're my dream come true." He paused and bit his lip. "...I was just thinking of something I'd maybe like to try, but I'm not really sure if you'll like it or think it's gross."

She gave him a warm, lop-sided smile. "Well *ask* me, dum-dum. You won't know until you do. And odds are, I'll at least give it a try. I've _loved_ all your surprises so far."

She could see that made him feel better right away. He touched noses with her. "Glad to hear it. So, um, I thought that, since we're in the shower and we're about to get cleaned up anyway... Would you like to maybe try some pee play?"

Her ears perked and her tail stood straight up. "Heck yeah!"

"Oh, good! That's a relief. I just... You know. I just didn't want to bring up something that'd spoil the moment."

"You worry too damn much. Pee on me!" she ordered playfully.

From his reaction, Lily could tell Thanophile had expected that *she* would be the one doing the peeing. "You really...?"

"Sure! Remember that email where you asked me what my very favorite fantasy was? When I got to the part about you peeing in my coffin, I had to stop and paw off because I was too horny to type anymore!"

Thanophile laughed and pulled her into another hug. "I love you Lily! You are so accepting and enthusiastic and open to new experiences!"

"I love you too. Now bring on the pee, silly!"

"Actually, I just had an idea..." He stood up. "Can you stand on the edges of the tub there with your back to the wall?"

She looked behind her. "I think so." It looked kinda narrow, but wide enough to plant her paws. She braced herself against the wall and the shower door frame and stepped up.

Thanophile held out his paws. "I won't let you fall."

Lily nodded: 'I know'. "Now what?" she asked when she was in place.

Thanophile came closer and reached down around her legs. "Brace your back against the wall and I'll try to lift you up, okay?"

Another nod. Thanophile gave a grunt and a mighty heave. Lily felt a brief second of fear when her feet left the porcelain, but her legs were soon settled comfortably around her raccoon lover's waist. "Ooooh! Comfy."

"That worked out pretty good, eh?"

"Worked out great! So, do you want to pee on me now, or I pee on you, or what?"

He nuzzled her nose. "You pee first, little angel. I want to feel your warm water running down my fur. Feel it splash all over my cock."

She shivered in naughty pleasure. "I'll try." She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on making herself pee. She leaned forward, her back still braced against the wall, to rest her chin on his wide shoulder. She took deep breaths. "I'm not feeling it yet."

"Take your time, sweetheart."

Lily tried her utmost to pee. She thought about waterfalls, fire hydrants and Super Soakers. Her bladder was being a stubborn jerk.

Thanophile shifted his grip on her. He hoped his arms would hold out and that he wouldn't accidentally drop her.

They waited like that for an excruciatingly long time.

Finally, Lily said sadly, "I'm really sorry. I guess I just don't have to pee right now."

He kissed her forehead, letting her know it was okay. "If you can't perform on command, it's no problem. We have plenty of time. I'll try to set you down gently, okay? I hope your legs didn't fall asleep."

She pointed her foot down to seek out the edge of the tub again. "No, it's fine. I... Wait..." She grinned. "Pick me up again!!"

Thanophile quickly hefted her into position. "It's coming?"

"I think so!" Trying to keep her enthusiasm from cutting off her flow a second time, Lily blanked her mind and let her body do what came naturally.

She felt Thanophile's diamond-hard cock poke into her butt cheek when she finally let loose.

Rivers of gold poured down their fur. Lily forced it out hard, trying to soak them both. It felt almost burning hot. The hiss of her piss echoed off the tile, sounding loud as a running faucet. Thanophile could feel the strong jet of urine blasting into the skin just above his genitals. He could feel the trickles running through the fur of his ballsac.

Growling with lust, he held Lily tight and rubbed his head up against her cheek. His eyes were shut tight and his teeth were grit.

Lily squeaked when she felt him cum all over her ass! "Oh my god! That was freakin' incredible!" she shouted.

With not a moment to spare, Thanophile landed Lily safely right before the last of his strength left him. Like a ragdoll, he slumped to the bottom of the tub and panted.

Pee still trickling out of her, Lily reached back to touch the sticky spot on her behind. "Your cum..." she marvelled. "Whoa! I guess this means I'm officially not a virgin anymore!" She grinned proudly, and slightly giddy.

"But isn't your li'l hymen still intact?" Thanophile pondered between gasps of breath.

Lily hid a snorting giggle behind her paws. "Oh HECK no! I popped that with a cucumber last year!" She thrust her nether-portions at him and spread her lips with a 'V' of her fingers. "See?"

With shaky arms, the raccoon hoisted himself up in a sitting position. "It's gorgeous, Lily. What more can I say? And I'm glad, too. I know we planned to yiff for real later. I was worried I'd hurt you."

Lily carefully stepped over his legs and let herself down slowly to lie beside him in the tub. Even though his feet had ended up dangling off the edge, she fit in the space next to him like a finger in a glove. "It'd only hurt for a minute anyway. I'd heard horror stories before. I thought it was gonna be like the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life. But when I went ahead and did it, it was unpleasant, but nowhere near that bad."

Thanophile reached out a finger. "May I...?"

"You don't have to keep asking me," she said, and pushed his hand towards her sex. He caressed the outer lips with a single fingertip, making Lily shudder all over. She cooed. He made lazy circles around her vulva, exploring every area with a gentleness that bordered on feather-light.

He poked his finger in just a little. Then a little further. "Nope, no hymen here."

Lily squirmed her arm underneath his shoulders to hug them both closer together. "Do you still want to pee on me?" she asked. "I say go for it."

"Mmmm, hearing you say that... Good thing I already came or I'd be so stiff there's no way anything would come out!" He reached down and fiddled with his soft weiner, trying to coax it to do his bidding. "Oh! I think it's ready, actually!"

"Good! It took way too long last time!" She spread herself out as best as she could, making an inviting target. "Fire away!"

Thanophile's first 'shot' went wild and ended up hitting him in the shoulder. "Heh. I'll try to control it better next time." He pointed it towards Lily's creamy-furred tummy. A squirt of pee flew and scored a direct hit.

Lily wriggled and cheered. "Oh, that felt *great*! Even better than I expected. And more *forceful*, too. Like one of those massaging shower heads."

He smiled. "Hey, how about you point to a spot, and I'll try to aim there?"

"Okay!" Lily first pointed to her feet.

A tricky shot, but he thought he could make it. He aimed and let go. It missed her hindpaws, but did manage to spray her shins.

"Good enough!" she giggled, and pointed to her breasts.

He sent a squirt right at them, aiming true this time. Lily moaned and rubbed the hot piss into her fur. Then she pointed at her hair.

"You sure?"

"Completely! I wanna be wet head-to-toe! I wanna *reek* of your sexy pee!"

He 'hrrrrr'ed deep in his throat. "Lily, you are nothing short of astonishing!! Close your eyes now!" He let loose like a firehose, clenching down hard and sending a torrent blasting out and splashing all over Lily's lovely face.

She sputtered a bit. "More!!"

Trying desperately to keep from getting hard again before he could finish, Thanophile forced his every last ounce out. So hard he could actually feel his pee-hole stretch. Piss ran through Lily's hair, her cheekfur, over her eyes and nose, and even trickled into her ears, which tickled like crazy! Giggling, she shook her head and yellow drops went everywhere.

Thanophile's bladder was empty and his dick was once again solid as marble. The sight of this beautiful young squirrelette glistening with droplets of his urine was the second most erotic sight he'd ever beheld. (The first, of course, was seeing her lying in her pretty coffin.)

"That was awesome," Lily said, sounding exhausted from pleasure. She kissed him on the cheek, leaving tiny beads of pee behind. The sight made her giggle.

"I hope none got in your mouth," he said, always concerned about her first.

"A little bit." She stuck her tongue out and licked around her lips. She made a face. "_Salty_! Bleah. I wouldn't wanna drink a glass of it, but it's nowhere near as bad as my mom's borscht."

"...Was that the stuff that stained almost every dish you owned pink?"

Lily nodded. "Exactly. Damn beets..." Forgetting that unpleasant memory, she concentrated instead on the present. The feeling of snuggling in a cool tub with the raccoon she loved, covered in both her and his tingly piss. She could feel the tiny dribbles of it streaming through her fur, tickling her, making her shiver. The smell was pungent and strong, but also undeniably, primally sexual. It made her want to paw off, so she did. She fiddled idly with her cunny and nuzzled Thanophile's shoulder.

"Wanna rinse off now?" he asked, hoping the answer would be no.

"It's still nice 'n warm," she replied. Sighing in contentment, she reached over and took his penis in her other paw. She ran her fingers along it gently, like petting a cat. He turned slightly to caress her cheek. Then he kissed her on the lips. He could taste his liquid gift on her muzzlefur. Feel the heat the tiny drops still held. He ran his fingers through her wet hair and did everything possible to let his body show how much he appreciated her.

That moment in the bathtub seemed to last a hazy eternity.


~~~~~




PART ELEVEN
~~~~~

They cuddled for quite a while in their porcelain cocoon, but eventually the pee got cold and became very uncomfortable soon after. No problem though, since they were shower-ready anyway. Thanophile slid the door shut and turned the water on. He let Lily choose the temperature, which was a little hotter than he was used to. But he didn't mind.

Soon they were both sudsy with fur shampoo. Lily squeaked and giggled and made happy squirrel sounds as Thanophile washed her fur by fondling every last inch of her. His wonderful hands felt like a sculptor kneading clay. Lily felt them travel all around her body; firmly, gently, squeezing her everywhere. He rubbed the shampoo into her breasts, her buttocks, her lovely hair, and even the little furless soles of her feet. He even took the time to massage each toe.

Lily had more surface area to work with when it was her turn, but she met the challenge with zest. After soaping them up good, she ran her nimble paws over and around Thanophile's every grownup, masculine curve. Sometimes she even just hugged him and let her whole body act as a loofah. And not surprisingly, she spent quite a lot of time making sure his fascinating penis was clean all over.

Inevitably the hot water started to run out, and so the two emerged, still giggling, and Thanophile wrapped them both up in fluffy towels. They snuggled and ruffled each other all over, working the soft towels into their dripping fur. Lily wrapped part of hers around her head like a hood to dry her hair and Thanophile said she looked like a little Eskimo.

When they'd both gotten their fur as dry as it was going to get, Thanophile told Lily to go lie on the couch in the livingroom and he'd set up his next surprise. Lily excitedly dashed off, wondering what it could be. Everything he'd planned for them had been a blast so far. This was _definitely_ the best sleepover ever.

Lily located her glasses, then curled up and got cozy, still wrapped in her towel. Soon she began to smell butter. Towel-clad as well, Thanophile emerged from the kitchen, saying he'd just popped in some microwave popcorn to munch while they watched some movies. Lily asked which ones. He handed her two rental DVDs; she squealed in delight and immediately hugged him.

One of them was a comedic slasher picture that was a mutual favorite. There were *tons* of yiffy death scenes in it, several of which they had both admitted masturbating to. The other film was one they'd only heard of and had been unable to track down until now. It was a foreign film, considered both shocking and artistically brilliant. Of course, it also contained lots of furs shuffling off their mortal coil. Lily had read about it on an internet movie site and was excited to learn it also had sexy female ghosts and zombies. Maybe there'd be someone in a coffin, she hoped. Lily decided to watch the slasher film first. She popped it in the player while Thanophile went to check on the popcorn.

Thanophile soon returned and set a bowl full of white, fluffy kernels down on the floor in easy reach. He hopped onto the sofa and laid down lengthwise. Lily spooned in front of him, snugging her bottom quite comfortably into his crotch. He gave her a kiss between her ears and selected 'play movie' on the DVD menu.

They watched mostly in silence. They'd mentioned before in emails that they were both the type of fur who _hated_ people who talked during movies. Still, Lily couldn't help squirming and squeaking a little when one of the actresses got beheaded by a window pane. She fidgeted not out of fear, but because she was pawing off beneath the blanket! Thanophile heartily approved, and thrust his semi-firm member languidly against her toweled tush.

When the movie ended, Lily got up for a pee break and Thanophile asked if he could watch. Grinning slyly, she said yes. She went into the bathroom and sat down naked on the cool seat. He squatted in front of her, eyes fixed on her little pink tulip. Lily spread her legs and let go. Her urine made musical tinkling sounds in the echoing bowl. Thanophile could not resist moving closer until he could actually smell the beautiful pale amber liquid as it emerged from her body. To Lily's surprise and delight, he even darted out his tongue to taste some!

After their little pee adventure, they put their towels on the rack and went nakedly back to the couch. Now they could cuddle in just their fur. Thanophile started up the second film. Lily curled her tail around herself like a blanket, as squirrels often do. She enjoyed the feeling of Thanophile's tail easing around to join hers, keeping the two of them doubly warm.

The second movie was spooky, and a little sad, but undeniably arousing for them both. They paused and rewound at the good parts. They wriggled slowly against each other, getting warmer both physically and euphemistically. By the time it ended, they were both buzzing with sexual excitement. They reached a consensus without even having to say a word. Thanophile paused only briefly to eject the movie and put it back in its case before speeding to the bedroom after Lily.


~~~~~


Thanophile found her already spread on her back in his bed, her glasses placed safely on the bedstand. He nearly skidded into the door at the sight. He felt his heart skip a beat. Even though she'd been here the whole day, it was *still* a wondrous shock to find a willing, loving, eager young squirrel in his bedroom wearing nothing but a playful smile.

He approached. "Just lay right there. Let me do all the work."

"You don't have to," she said.

"I want to," he replied.

He walked over to the end of the bed, stepped aboard and knelt in front of her slightly spread legs. Lily knew immediately what he was planning and had to force back a squeal of excitement. She'd heard from many sources on the net that cunnilingus was supposed to be a divine treat.

Almost reverently, Thanophile eased down onto all fours, his gaze never leaving the furless spot between her legs. He reached out to caress her thighs, then slipped his hands underneath her bottom. He brought his nose to within a centimeter of the pink petals... And inhaled. He took in a deep, deep breath, savoring every last molecule of her scent. "...Magnificent" he whispered.

Lily felt like royalty. Like a goddess being worshipped. She didn't say a thing, just watched. Thanophile looked like he was experiencing nirvana. Perfect contentment.

Then he kissed her, perfectly, on her lips.

Lily gasped at the sudden, airy touch.

As if a starting gun had gone off, Thanophile dove in and began to ravage and relish Lily's cunny like the finest meal of his life. Lily grabbed handfuls of pillow in both her paws, her eyes shut tight and her mouth opened in a moan.

Thanophile used every part of his muzzle to bring them both a maximum of pleasure. He nudged at her tiny clitoris with his nose. Drove his tongue as deep as he could into her folds. Used his sharp teeth to deliver tiny nips to her labia that made her twitch. But her body language clearly asked him for more. Thanophile obliged with enthusiasm. His sensitive tongue had been transported to Heaven. Lily was absolutely delicious. He could even detect a hint of her savory pee. Just enough to taste.

Lily ground the fabric of the two pillows in her paws, actually leaving several clawmarks. Her head whipped from side to side. She did not speak words, but strange sounds came from her throat. Primal sounds of pleasure.

And then she farted.

*PHFWOOT* Right in Thanophile's face.

Lily recoiled instantly, her eyes going wide as saucers and her paws darting to her mouth. "Oh my god!! I am SO sorry!" she squeaked, mortified beyond words. She felt like the biggest retard on earth for spoiling such a perfect moment.

To her relief though, Thanophile just chuckled. "It's no problem, sweetheart. Your body's just doing what comes naturally. I didn't mind. It was a little surprising, but not the end of the world."

Lily still looked pretty flustered. "Okay. I'm still sorry though. It just... came out!"

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," he reassured. "Remember, I've been to med school. There's nothing your body could produce that could surprise me. I've seen it all. Anatomy fascinates me. And that goes double for *your* anatomy."

Her embarrassment ebbed and she smiled. "Thanks. You're so good at sayin' stuff to make me feel better. And here I am constantly worried I'm gonna do something to spoil all this..."

His eyes were warm and welcoming with compassion. "There's almost nothing you *could* do to spoil this. You don't have to be ashamed of every little thing you do. I'm not your mother or your father. I won't get angry at you over trivial things that aren't even your fault."

The words affected her so much she shivered a little. Living with her parents meant being on constant alert. Trying to fully relax, even when they weren't around, was next to impossible.

Thanophile grinned slyly. "In fact, I dare you to do it again."

"What?"

His smile got big and goofy. "Fart, my darling! Fart right in my face! I dare you!"

Lily cringed and giggled. "I couldn't! There's no way!"

"Aw, come on! It wasn't that bad. Everyone's smelled a few farts before. Yours was actually quite nice. Like lilacs and fresh-baked cookies!"

"Now you're just lying!" she challenged, still giggling.

"I'd never lie to you!" He protested dramatically. "I love absolutely every part of you, top to bottom, Lily. And that includes your dainty little air biscuits."

At that, Lily laughed so hard that she released another toot completely by accident. "Oh no!!" she wailed.

Thanophile inhaled, still grinning. "Well, there goes the myth that cute girls don't fart."

"You're terrible," she kidded. "You're a sicko who gets off on little girls' ass-trumpets."

"Only yours," he clarified. Then he surprised her by planting a tender smooch right on her little pink anal pucker.

"Yeep!!" Lily said.

"Surprised?" he asked. "Every inch of you is perfect to me, Lily. There's not a single spot on you I'd consider dirty. I'd even kiss your armpits if you let me."

She looked down the length of her tummy and smiled at him. "I don't know whether that's really sweet, or gross. But I'll go with sweet." Lily propped herself up on her elbows. "So... you watched me fart. Was it what you expected?"

He made a 'somewhat' gesture with his hand. "Partly. It was kind of exciting, but mostly in an 'I haven't done this before' way. And I was surprised by how warm the little puff of air was on my nose. And it really didn't smell that bad. On the whole, I think it was a worthwhile experiment."

Lily chuckled. "You sound like a scientist! Actually, I kinda enjoyed it too. It was weird, but it felt kinda fun to do something I'd never do ordinarily."

Thanophile crawled forward to lie down on the bed beside her. "I'm glad to hear that. Although on the whole, I think I like cuddling you a lot more." He put one arm around her, then reached out with the other to click off the light.

Lily wiggled a bit, getting comfortable. She felt Thanophile slide the sheet and blanket over them. "Me too." she said softly.


~~~~~


In the darkness, the duo let their paws roam freely.

They uttered soft moans and loving whispers as they sleepily explored each other's furry selves. Their movements seemed almost like slow motion.

As they were both starting to yawn, Lily decided to give Thanophile a thank-you present for eating her cunny, making dinner, buying her a coffin, and all the other wonderful things he'd done for her so far.

She shuffled herself under the covers. Beneath the blanket, it was like a hot, stuffy little cave. But in a nice way. Her nose was treated to the strong scents of her lover's body and the fur shampoo they'd both used. Lily felt around before grasping something furless. She could feel Thanophile's heartbeat when she squoze it tight, and that excited her. She opened her mouth and slipped the tip inside.

A paw floated across the back of her head, stroked her ears, and gently encouraged her.

With her eyes closed, she concentrated solely on touch, taste and smell. She simply held the penis in her mouth for a few moments, letting her tongue examine it, then began to bob her head. She licked at it. She bit lightly at it, like he had done for her.

Thanophile's hand spoke for him, letting her know how much he was enjoying her efforts.

She found it was easy to fit it almost all the way inside her mouth. She tried to take in the sheath too, but choked a little when the tip touched her throat. Thanophile patted her back and she said, "I'm okay." Wanting him to know she was no quitter, she immediately went back to tasting and teasing the savory meat in front of her.

Moments later, Thanophile made a noise and Lily tasted something new in her mouth. There wasn't much. Not the huge pools like she'd seen in drawings on websites. Just a small mouthful of thickish liquid. A little salty, a little sweet. Lily was largely neutral towards it. She swallowed, then licked out the inside of her mouth to get rid of the aftertaste.

Thanophile's gentle fingers caressed the inside and outside of her ear. "Thank you," he said softly.

She replied with a kiss on his tip.

Not needing to say anything more, Lily rubbed her cheek on his stomach, settled in, and was soon asleep.


~~~~~




PART TWELVE
~~~~~

In the morning, Lily opened her eyes. It took her a few moments to be properly alarmed that they didn't seem to be working. She was shrouded in pitch black.

She tried to sit up and immediately her forehead bumped into something silky. 'Oh! Duh, okay. I'm in the coffin again. Thanophile must've gotten up first and put me in here.' She wiggled her feet against the smooth, ruffly material lining the inside. A tiny shaft of orange light glowed from where the lid had been propped open with two rubber stoppers. Otherwise, the coffin would have had only an hour's worth of air, tops, and she would have suffocated. 'That was really sweet of him,' she thought. She didn't mind the idea of the coffin itself killing her (in fact, it made her pretty darn yiffy!), but she wanted to be awake and aware of every glorious second of her death when it came. Passing away in her sleep didn't hold much appeal for her.

Lily wriggled her arms up towards her chest to get enough leverage for pushing the lid open. It was heavier than she'd expected. As soon as the coffin opened, morning sunshine and the smell of coffee flooded in. Lily smiled and yawned. She sat for a moment and just watched the dust motes floating in the bedroom window's sunbeam.

Her tummy rumbled. Thanophile was probably having some breakfast right now, so it was off to the kitchen with her. She wondered if he'd made pancakes or eggs or something. She scooted backwards in the coffin until she could flop over onto the bed. Her nose hit the sheet and was momentarily filled with smells of last night's cuddling. Lily took a moment just to inhale the wonderful, sexy aromas. Then she skittered off the bed and got to her feet. She stretched and felt her spine pop a few times. Overall though, she felt very rested.

"Lily? Are you up?" came the voice from the other room. Just quiet enough to not disturb her if she'd still been sleeping.

The young squirrel padded swiftly to the kitchen. Thanophile was sitting at the table holding a steaming mug of coffee. "Yup! And I had a great night's sleep, too. Thanks for putting me in the coffin. It really was comfy. I could sleep in it forever!"

He reached out to ruffle her hair. "And you probably will, too," he said slyly.

She shivered deliciously at the thought. "That's right! You're probably gonna kill me today, aren't you?"

The eagerness in her voice was adorable. "I certainly plan to! Just think; that means by this time tomorrow, you'll be dead. A beautiful corpse for me to cuddle like a teddy bear."

Lily chittered wildly. 'He's so good at finding my hot spots!' she thought. She gave him half a dozen little kisses on the side of his face.

He giggled and placed one big smooch on her cheek in response. "Pull up a seat and I'll pour you some cereal," he said as he stood up. "Sorry it's not as fancy as last night, but the sink's full enough."

She looked over and yes, the mountain of dishes was still there. "Wouldn't it be nice if there was some kind of dishwashing fairy who'd just come during the night and make all of that go away?"

"Ha! Absolutely! Hell, I'd even leave twenties out for her." He got a bowl from the cupboard, slung some flakes into it and went to the fridge for the milk. "Orange juice?"

"Yes please."

"Comin' up." He reached for a tumbler, realized they were all dirty, and hunted for one in the sink. He rinsed it out and filled it with juice. "Actually, sweetie..." The sunny tone left his voice, replaced with mild worry, "I've been having some second thoughts about how to... um, 'dispose' of you, once I snuff you."

She gave him a quizzical look. "I thought we had all that settled. You kill me; have fun yiffing me for a while, then slip me in my coffin and bury me somewhere."

"That's the thing," he replied as he handed her the juice and cereal. "It was an absolute nightmare getting the coffin *into* the apartment. Getting it *out* with you inside, without anyone seeing us... Not going to be easy."

Lily frowned. He had a point there. She looked down at her cereal and blinked. "Spoon."

"Oh, sorry." He jumped up to get her one. "Trying to eat cereal with your paws is an exercise in futility."

She took the spoon and started munching. "Thanks. So then, if we can't do the coffin, how exactly are you gonna get rid of me once I start getting all stinky and rigor-mortis-y?"

"I didn't say we *couldn't* do the coffin; it's just that it's impractical. Still a possibility though." He took a sip from his mug. "I thought over as many different options as I could. Dissolving your body with lye, throwing you in an incinerator, or sinking you in the lake are all plausible ideas, but still too complicated. And _really_ unromantic."

Lily nodded agreement. "Yeah, none of those sound very fun. What else?"

"Welllll... You might not like this, but the simplest and safest option would be to throw you out with the trash."

"The trash!?" she wailed. "Aw, man! That sucks! I don't want my funeral to be in a garbage dump."

He patted her shoulder. "I know. I'm sorry. But I can't think of a better way! I'm going to have to make your pretty little body disappear in a way that won't land me in jail forever." He shrugged. "Butchering you, bagging you and taking you down to the dumpster in the middle of the night before trash day seems like the most logical plan."

Lily was plainly disappointed, but one thing he'd said had aroused her interest. "Wait, did you say *butcher* me?" She grinned a little. "That sounds exciting. Are you gonna, like, chop me to bits in the bathtub?"

He nodded. "That'd be the most likely place. After I'd thoroughly used you for my perverted whims..." They both giggled. "I'd probably skin you first. I mean, look at this beautiful fur!" He ran his fingers through her bushy tail. "How could I just throw it out? I know some basics about tanning, and with some luck and some careful trimming, I could probably make you look enough like, say, a coyote pelt to not be suspicious."

Lily murred. That did sound like an enjoyable way to end up! Turned into a snuggly soft pelt that Thanophile could rub against and maybe even jerk off with whenever he wanted. She gave Thanophile a broad grin and took a swig of OJ. "What'll you do with the rest of me?" She suddenly got a sizzling idea. "Wait, you like to cook, right? *Please* tell me you'll eat some of me!!"

"Exactly what I was planning, sweetheart."

"YESSS!!" Lily shouted. "Oh, I'm sure I'll be delicious! I'm sure you'll find some great recipes for me!"

Thanophile could not resist scooting his chair closer to hug her. "I promise I will. I'm thinking about roasting your cute feet, chopping up your plump, perky ass for stew meat. Maybe fileting your breasts."

"What about my pussy?" Lily asked.

"That, I will pay extra special attention to. I still haven't decided on what exactly, but I'll do my best to find the fanciest recipe in all my cookbooks. Something truly worthy of your delectable little mound. Maybe I'll even eat it raw..." He reached down and gave her vulva a playful squeeze, inspecting her meat, and Lily had a mini-orgasm.

"I take it you like that idea?" he asked suavely.

"Absolutely!! Dang, it gets me so hot thinking about you cutting me up and actually *eating* me!" She patted her thigh. "This is actually gonna go in your oven in a few days!" She wriggled in her seat and chittered.

"You know something else I considered? I don't have the skills to really do it, and I wouldn't trust anyone else to, but it was a sweet little thought."

"What?"

"Turning you into a plush," Thanophile responded.

Lily perked right up! "Oooooh! I actually pawed off a few times thinking about you doing that! So, how?"

"Well, like I said, I just don't have the patternmaking skills. But if I *did*, I'd cut up your fur..." He made scissoring motions with his fingers over her skin; Lily got goosebumps. "...and stuff you. And make you into a cute cartoon of yourself. You'd be adorable, soft and cuddly forever, and I could snuggle with you every night," he said, adding emphasis with a kiss.

Lily sighed and melted in his arms. "That is soooo cute! Oh, I wish you could really make that happen! I'd love to be your plush! Would you fuck me?"

"Every day," he replied, and nuzzled her nose.

"I would _love_ that," Lily swooned. She could perfectly picture herself as a stuffed squirrel, with plastic eyes and pudgy abbreviated limbs and a great big floofy tail.

"Me too. I truly wish I could..." Thanophile tenderly kissed her temple, then whispered in her ear. "But, if it's at all possible, I _really_ want to try preserving your pretty head."

Lily gasped. "Do you think you can?"

He nodded. "I have read some books on taxidermy, and I think I know enough to give it a try. It'd be a challenge, but not impossible to just..." he encircled his hands around her neck and gently jerked upwards, "...*pop* this right off and turn it into a permanent sex toy."

Lily nearly swooned at the idea of becoming a beautiful, sexy ornament for him to use whenever he wanted. She could picture herself perfectly; eyes closed, mouth open. Maybe even open at the neck too so he could enjoy both holes!

In a flash, her paws were at her honeypot. "Sweet damn, I'm getting hot! I still wish I could've ended up buried in that gorgeous coffin, but now I _totally_ want you to behead me! Just cut me up in little bitty pieces, tan my hide and cook the rest!" She groaned loudly and dribbled on the chair. "Then toss my bones out in the trash! Just bag 'em up and toss 'em out! Make me a toy, make me a skin, make me a meal! Do whatever you want with me!!" She wasn't even speaking *to* him anymore, just pumping her fingers in her pussy and impatiently envisioning her inevitable demise.

Then out of nowhere, a strange sensation overtook her. She felt as if a fog had wrapped around her head. Like a thick, wet washcloth was squeezing her brain.

She fell forward in her seat. Thanophile caught her deftly.

She burped, then held a paw to her head. "Ohhhh... Geez, I feel funny all of a sudden..."

"Funny? How?" He asked, his voice tickling the fur inside her ear.

"Like, lightheaded, kinda. Sleepy."

He nodded, unsurprised. "That's probably because I poisoned your orange juice," he said casually.

"You what...?" For a second, a wave of horror flooded over her. Her primal survival instincts surged. But she forced them to back off. "You poisoned me?"

"Mm-hmm. I'm a pharmacist, remember?" He nuzzled between her ears and held her closer. She fit perfectly against his chest with his muzzle resting on her shoulder. "It took about as long as I expected for it to kick in. It starts suddenly, but from there on it's not too fast and not too slow. Just enough time to realize you're dying. And that there's absolutely _nothing_ you can do about it..."

Lily moaned in arousal. He had tricked her again! Oh, he was so wonderfully devious! What an exciting way to die!

She could feel the poison working already. Slowing her down, making her feel like she was about to drift off to dreamland and never, ever come back.

Her senses were beginning to get blurry. She felt like she was floating through clouds.

"Are you surprised?" he asked.

"Yes... Oh, thank you, thank you..." Lily squirmed against him. Her muscles weren't responding very well anymore, but she managed to put her arm around his waist and tuck the other paw between her legs. She tried to masturbate, but her fingers had already gone numb.

"Here, let me," he said lovingly. He brushed her paw away and began to pleasure her cunny.

She twitched and cooed. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest.

She was sinking deeper now. It felt like her arms and legs were being slowly dipped into some cold liquid, like freshly-poured concrete. It was getting hard to think. In her time left, she tried to concentrate as much as she could on Thanophile's soothing voice and his gentle fingers inside of her. "Thank you... I love you... I'm so happy..."

"I'm glad," he whispered. "I wanted your death to be wonderful. Like slipping into your very favorite dream."

"It *is* wonderful... I love it. I'm dying... I'm really dying..."

Lily sighed. Her smile was beautiful; pure contentment, pure fulfillment. Pure ecstacy. Pure love.

"I can _feel_ myself dying... It's so nice... "

Sensing she was close to the edge now, and about to tip over, Thanophile sped up his stimulation.

"I love you..." Lily said.

Thanophile caressed her clit with his thumb and that was enough.

She made a single soft sound, almost like a yawn. Lily's whole body twitched as she came.

It was like popping a bubble. Her orgasm seemed to use up the last of her energy. Lily slumped in Thanophile's arms like a ragdoll.

'This is it...' she thought. Her body had gone completely numb by now, but she still had a little bit of her mind left. Her orgasm had not been her most intense ever, but it had still been her favorite. Because it was her last. Because this was as perfect a final moment as she could have ever hoped for; sitting on the lap of her favorite author and dearest friend, safe in his arms. Knowing he had given her this gift.

Darkness was swallowing Lily rapidly. She felt like she was travelling backwards through a long, dark tube. 'I'm going now... Bye-bye...'

And then, just before she blacked out completely, fuzzy but still discernable, Lily's last sensation was the sound of Thanophile telling her he loved her.

Lily had never been so happy.


~~~~~




PART THIRTEEN
~~~~~

Lily had a dream she was dancing with the grim reaper.

They were in a ballroom. The biggest ballroom she'd ever seen. It looked like an enormous music box. The floor was covered in intricate, mosaic patterns of vivid color. From the ceiling dangled a chandelier with dozens and dozens of lights.

Lily was wearing a white dress that appeared to be nothing but ruffles and sparkles. Like a cartoon exaggeration of a fancy princess' dress. On her head was a tiara. Her hair was long and curly, cascading down her back. She didn't need her glasses anymore.

Strangely, she couldn't hear any music. But that didn't matter; they were dancing anyway.

She and the grim reaper twirled and spun like clockwork figures. They never tired. Lily got the sense that they had always been dancing, and would continue on forever too.

The grim reaper slipped back his hood and, of course, it was Thanophile. His face looked leaner, but still full of gentle compassion. Lily could see beneath his black cloak when it flapped open as they turned. He was a skeleton inside, but his head was normal. And his hands were bones, yet they felt warm as she held them.

The two of them danced, and danced, and danced...

Lily had only one single thought, and this was it; 'This isn't a bad way to spend eternity...'

She rested her head on death's soft dark robe.

'...Not bad at all...'


~~~~~




PART FOURTEEN
~~~~~

'Huh?'

"Nrrr mrph nrrmrrrrr."

It sounded like a voice, but none of the words made sense. Her awakening mind was still too foggy to process them properly.

"Lllyy? Rrr nn awwk?"

Almost... She could almost make it out. She thought her eyes were open, but couldn't tell for sure. Everything was grey.

"Lily? Taa ih eeesy. Ca nyoo unnnnorstand me?"

Lily husked a tiny, "Uh huh" without really being aware of it. She could feel warmth now. Her vision was still blurry, but shapes were beginning to approach through the mist. Shapes of a face.

Thanophile brushed his paw across her cheek. "Can you see me yet?"

"Mnnnh," she replied.

"Was that a yes?"

"Uh... Yuh..."

He kissed her forehead. His eyes clearly showed how glad he was to see she'd made the return trip safely. "You're doing fine, little Lily. Take it slow. No hurry."

Things were starting to make sense again. Lily could feel the scattered pieces of her mind coming together like a jigsaw puzzle. Her senses were almost reliable now. She could almost remember...

And then, bitter disappointment. "But... I wuh dead," she said sadly. Her words were slurred, but clearly conveyed that she felt cheated, and wanted to go back to that dancing place.

Thanophile shook his head. "Sorry. Not yet." He caressed the side of her face compassionately, knowing she was disappointed, but hoping his next surprise would make up for it.

She pouted. She still wasn't back 100%, but she could feel his paw resting on her cheek, feel the couch fabric with her paws, taste something strange in her mouth. Realize she was still naked. "Why?"

He kissed her nose. "Because I'm still not done making you happy, sweetheart. We still have so much to do."

She blinked and thought it over. "Okay."

"You still feelin' groggy?"

She nodded cutely. "Mm-hmm."

"That's because you've been asleep for a long while now."

"How? Did th' poison not work?" Her mind was clear now, but her tongue hadn't completely caught up yet.

"Nope. It worked exactly how I planned. It was never _meant_ to kill you; just put you in a little bitty coma while I set up your next surprise."

She smiled. "How ma'y more s'rprises do you have for me?"

His grin grew. "Lots. And if your mouth tastes funny, it's because of the drug I gave you to bring you back. Here." He pressed a small paper cup of water to Lily's lips and she drank. "Actually, I may know a lot about medicine, but I'm not a certified anesthesiologist. I'd say there was perhaps a twenty to twenty-five percent chance you could have really died."

Lily perked up a little. "Really?"

"Uh-huh. I figured it was worth the risk, and that you'd be happy with either outcome."

She giggled. "It is pretty exciting knowing I really could've. But I thought I _was_! I mean, I was happy dying like that. If that had been it for me, I wouldn't have minded at all. I had a dream, and it was nice there."

"I wasn't sure if you'd be able to dream. I'm glad to hear it. What was it like?"

Lily furrowed her brow. "I remembered it for a second there... It's gone now. Just a feeling left. And I think there was dancing. All I know is, I wouldn't have minded staying there forever."

His eyebrows went up in playful mock surprise. "And leave me here by myself? We haven't even yiffed yet!"

"Oh, right!" She giggled. "Well, okay. Yeah. I would've been sad we hadn't done that."

He chuckled and gave her tummy a playful tickle. "But now we can," he purred smoothly.

"That's why you brought me back?"

He smiled craftily. "Nope. I brought you back so I could show you a little video I took while you were temporarily departed. Roll over, honey."

Lily wasn't sure her wobbly muscles were ready to work yet, but she tried and found they were willing to cooperate. She wiggled until she was facing the television. "What's it of?"

Thanophile reached out with the remote control. "You'll see."

The screen went from black to white. Then the image cleared, and Lily gasped.

First Thanophile had delivered her dream coffin, and now she felt a second wave of joyful unreality.

Just like she had fantasized countless times, Lily was now looking at her own funeral.

She couldn't tell what part of the apartment it had been shot in, but there she was in her gorgeous, welcoming coffin, lying still as a statue. Her eyes were closed. No more glasses. A soft, dreamy smile was on her lips. The perfect picture of serenity.

She wore a simple white dress that seemed to glow in the sunlight. The fabric looked smooth as milk. Small lace ruffles decorated her sleeves and neckline. Her paws were arranged on her chest, holding a single white instance of her namesake.

The outside of the coffin was surrounded by even more flowers, more than Lily had ever seen before in her life. None silk; all real. Little purple blossoms. Big yellow petals. Cascades of white. Sparkles of pink. And well over a dozen lusciously-red roses. The colors created a strong feeling of happiness; the feeling she'd always wanted for her funeral. She was happy to have passed away, and wanted everyone else to be too.

Lily had begun to cry. She pointed at the screen. Her mouth opened, but she couldn't find words.

"Is it what you dreamed?" Thanophile whispered in her ear.

"YES!" Lily shouted. She twisted around as best she could to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him deeply on the muzzle. She thanked him, told him how perfect it was, told him how beautiful it was, but her words were drowned by her kisses.

Thanophile gently nudged her, then gestured with his shoulder in the direction of the screen. "Keep watching, sweetheart. There's more..." His smile had the eagerness of watching a loved one open a gift on Christmas morning.

Lily turned around again. Her eyes shone with euphoria as she watched her fantasy coming true. There she was, as lovely as she'd always hoped. Silent, still and perfect. (She must have really been in a deep coma, since she couldn't even see her whiskers twitching.) Her face looked like an angel's. And Lily, who had thought of herself as ugly and chubby and unattractive for so many years, finally saw herself as Thanophile saw her. She was finally looking at undeniable proof that she was beautiful.

On screen, a paw reached past the bountiful bouquets to stroke the pretty dead girl's forehead. The paw played with her hair; a finger circled her ear. It was exciting for Lily to see him touching her and to see herself not responding in the slightest.

Up until now, only the top half of the coffin lid had been open. The black-furred paw was joined by its twin and together they lifted the bottom lid. Lily gasped anew at seeing her whole body perfectly motionless and decorated in white. The magical dress ended just below her knees in a simple, dignified ruffle. Her hind paws were bare and resting on her fluffy tail.

"I cannot imagine a more beautiful sight," said Thanophile.

Lily couldn't speak above an awed hush. "Me either. I'm so... I can't even think of a word! Where did you get that dress? I love it! It makes me look so pretty."

"*You* make yourself look pretty," he corrected. "And the where is not important. I deduced your size over the course of our emails, asking tiny questions here and there so you wouldn't get suspicious."

"I love it," Lily repeated. "So where is it now?" A reasonable question, considering her current nudeness.

"Lying on my bed, waiting for you," he replied. "You can put it back on later if you like. I'm not sure whether I prefer you with it on, or like this." He gave her hip a gentle pat, then rustled the fur there.

Lily reached a conclusion. "Hey... While I was out of it, you must have put that on me, then took it off. I must've been totally limp." She grinned. "I bet that got you pretty yiffy, huh?"

He chuckled. "Can't you tell?" Just then, she felt something cylindrical, and *very* hard, press itself against her bottom.

Lily chittered and pressed back against it. "Oh good! I'll bet seeing me all almost-dead like that probably gave you the biggest hard-on ever. I'm surprised you didn't cum all over me."

Thanophile kissed behind her left ear. "Who says I didn't?" he asked, and pointed at the screen.

Lily gasped in naughty expectation. She looked back. She hadn't noticed that the two paws had left the screen. Even though there was no sound with the video, she could tell from how the camera moved that the furson behind the lens was very obviously pulling down his pants zipper.

Lily's paws were at her cunny before she was even aware of it. If what happened next was what she thought was about to happen next, it would be the yiffiest thing she had ever seen in her life. She thought she might actually explode. Thanophile snuggled her closer, looking over her shoulder to watch.

In the video, Lily saw a very familiar cock emerge at the bottom of the screen. It was pointing right at her peaceful face. She moaned, digging her fingers in deep. The sight of her serene, perfect funeral invaded by that nasty penis got her hot, wet and euphoric. What she had only ever imagined, she was seeing for real now.

Just like Lily was masturbating, the paws onscreen were too. Lily's eyes were wide, glazed with arousal. She was silent as her sleeping image, except for her quick, panting breaths. She could feel Thanophile's warm hands slowly caressing her stomach and thigh; the same hands that were stroking his cock in the video; the same cock that was nudging at her tailbase right now.

The notion that this had already happened, that Lily had slept through it all and had been powerless to prevent it, sent burning flames of arousal shooting through her mind. She had no idea *why* it was such a powerful turn on; it just was. The thought of being totally out of it, and Thanophile taking advantage of her... doing all sorts of naughty things to her that she wasn't even aware of... She loved the idea, and loved the idea that he wanted to do things with her sexy, unconscious self. Feeling helpless made her feel... strangely powerful.

It didn't take Thanophile long. Lily had a feeling he'd probably been right on the brink throughout his whole preparation. How he'd kept from creaming so far was beyond her. But then, he released. It happened so fast she barely caught a glimpse. On the video, Lily watched, holding her breath, as a thin stream of sticky cum launched from Thanophile's cockhead and landed right across the bridge of her nose.

Lily felt like a lust bomb had just gone off in her cunny. He was cumming on her in her coffin! Just like in her favorite fantasy ever! Her paws were a blur of motion, sticky all the way to her wrist.

The penis shot forward and another volley fell on her, this time making little round dots on her throat.

Lily moaned long and low in her throat. She didn't dare take her hands away from her burning sex, but she knew that if she felt around her face now, she would be able to feel the dried seed on her fur. Proof that this had really happened to her. Not a dream any more. Finally, wonderfully, real.

Onscreen, a third ejaculation fell like a kiss on her cheek.

Lily's beautiful corpse in her coffin. Lily naked on the couch. Thanophile standing over her, giving her his gift. Thanophile on the couch, holding her in his arms.

When Lily felt a weak but still definitely noticeable splash of cum hit her under her tail, she came too. Like a bolt of lightning had shot straight up her spine. The orgasm was almost painfully hard, intense beyond description.

Her whole body stiffened, then fell completely limp. Like all her bones had melted.

On the screen, Thanophile's paws reached out to close the coffin lids over Lily. She could imagine spending eternity in there, buried in the cool, dark ground, the proof of his love forever painting her features.

Whimpering from exhaustion and eros, Lily turned back around and snuggled into Thanophile's furry chest. She closed her eyes and just hugged him.

Barely audible, she whispered, "Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you..."


~~~~~




PART FIFTEEN
~~~~~

For a very long time, they held each other on the couch and cuddled. Their world became their sense of touch. Their hands, feet and tails slid across fur and flesh. Aside from occasional tiny involuntary whimpers, moans and sounds of breath, they were silent.

Lily could feel and hear the couch squeak and shift beneath her as she writhed against Thanophile's body. Him so much bigger than her. Enveloping her in his fur. Body heat like an oven. Uncomfortably hot in a comfortable way. She touched him all over, wanting to melt into him and be absorbed.

Thanophile held his little furry lover close. Making her dreams real had made him happier than he'd ever thought possible. He couldn't deny that the physical sensations of caressing and kissing her small nude form were more pleasurable than anything else he'd experienced in his life, but that wasn't the only reason he'd wanted to be with Lily, and wanted her to stay with him now. His life had been solitary for a very long time. It was good to be holding proof in his hands that the rest of the world was real, that he wasn't alone, and that he had the ability to make someone else happy.

Thanophile's onyx nose travelled through Lily's raspberry hair. He breathed in her scent. Their scent. Her nose was close to his armpit. Musky. Comforting. Their paws met and took hold of each other. They were so close, they could feel each other's heartbeats.

Thoughts of death had brought them together, yet now they simply celebrated the sensations of being alive.


~~~~~


Eventually, their muscles started to get a bit stiff and Lily's foot fell asleep. They both got up to stretch, fluff their fur, and take a potty break. Lily grinned in the mirror as she felt all the places on her fur and neck where Thanophile's spooge had landed. She liked teasing the little spots of hardened fur with her fingers. Thanophile recommended some liquid soap to wash it off with, and she looked at him like he was crazy.

He showed her the dress. It was spread out serenely still on his bed, just like Lily knew she had been earlier. Just looking at the dress made her yiffy. It was like a stand-in for her soon-to-be-dead self. She said she might try it on later, but for now she preferred to remain invigoratingly naked. (The flowers, by the way, were currently clogging up a lion's share of the dining nook.)

When they returned to the couch, they both felt fizzy and refreshed. Their sleepy, sexual mood had shifted into a giggly one. They poked at each other's tickly spots, laughed a lot, and eventually Lily asked about Thanophile's video camera.


~~~~~


In the video, which was later recovered by police after the bizarre incident in Officer Lemke's squad car, the first thing seen is a naked male raccoon backing away from where he has obviously just set a small video camera to record. Judging from the angle, it has probably been set on top of the television set in the living room of his apartment.

The raccoon male then sits down on a sofa next to a preteen female squirrel, also naked. They are both grinning. They look into the camera lens and begin to speak. From here on, what follows is a transcript of the recording:

RACCOON: It's on.

SQUIRREL: Okay. So, you talk first, then I go?

RACCOON: [nods] Right. [looks directly into camera lens] Hi there! My name is Thanophile. I'm a necrophiliac pedophile, and this is my victim, Lily. [puts arm around her shoulder]

SQUIRREL: [smiles broadly] Hi!

RACCOON: And by the time you see this, she'll be dead!

SQUIRREL: [shivers, apparently in anticipation]

RACCOON: Yup, I'm gonna kill her pretty soon. But before I do, I wanted to take this opportunity- Well, actually Lily had the idea to fool around with the camera some more. -take this opportunity for you all to get a good look at me. I'm a sick deviant. A monster! A freak of nature! [his tone is obviously sarcastic] And you know what? No different from you, probably. Sure, I'll bet you don't have any desire to kidnap little defenseless squirrels and subject them to erotic torments culminating in their yiffy demise...

SQUIRREL: [giggles and hugs him]

RACCOON: ...but I am willing to bet there's something you jerk off to that you don't tell anyone else about. Something that maybe you share with your spouse or lover, and that's it. Or maybe you even hide it from them. If you have the internet, then I'm certain of it. Admit it! You like vore porn, or diaper porn, or piss porn. Maybe even snuff porn like me. It makes you feel horribly guilty afterwards, but yet you just keep on goin' back to those websites, don't you?

SQUIRREL: [snorts laughter]

RACCOON: Maybe it's something simple and widespread. Maybe you like to put on your wife's undies when you go out. Heck, bondage and S&M are so mainstream they're barely kinks anymore. And foot fetishes are so common, probably everyone's at least thought about it. So just admit it. There is no other world out there hiding below the surface of normality. There is no sub-species of freaky sex perverts. It's YOU. All of you. All of us. We just don't want to admit it. The news makes it seem like most of us are decent, God-fearing citizens, hiding in our nice suburban homes from all the pedophiles and sex maniacs out there. So where are the pedophiles and sex maniacs? Right next door. And maybe in your own house. Maybe in your own bedroom. We all have desires, whether we want the ones we end up with or not. We don't choose them. They just happen. And they're not evil. Not unless you act on them in a way that harms someone else. Lily and me talked out all our fantasies long before we met, and we both want me to snuff her more than anything. [looks at the squirrel] Right?

SQUIRREL: [looks up at him and nods vigorously] Right!

RACCOON: [pats her on the back] So where's the harm? Who are you to call us sick freaks just because we accept who we are and you don't? If you don't like the thought of snuff sex, then don't participate in it. But unless it's directly affecting you, what gives you the right to try to eradicate something just because you don't like it? You can be disgusted by me all you want; that's your right. But don't try to pretend your soul's any more pure than mine. And for those who would say, 'But she's too young to understand her actions' or 'what about her parents?', I will yield the floor to Lily. Lily?

SQUIRREL: [nods] Thank you. [looks into camera lens] I know exactly what I'm doing and I _want_ to die. I cum almost every time I think about it! When I first went online and started talking to Thanophile, he let me decide how far we were gonna go. He even made me wait a month, almost two months, before he'd even think about us meeting face to face! I scraped together enough money to buy a cell phone to call him. He sent me bus tickets and I travelled all the way out here all by myself to meet him. If I can do all that, then what makes you think I can't decide for myself how I wanna end my life?

RACCOON: Well said, sweetheart. [puts paw on back of her head]

SQUIRREL: Thanks! And as far as my parents... I hope you two are listening because YOU'RE the ones who made me do this! You're the ones who teased me and insulted me night and day for years and made me feel like shit about myself. You made me hate myself. You called me worthless and lazy and stupid and fat and ugly and everything else you could think of! You made me want to kill myself. But I decided for myself that that could be a good thing. I pawed off every single night while you two were sleeping, thinking about my funeral and wishing I could just go in the ground and get the heck outta here! Your stupid-ass parenting made me run away with a guy who's gonna kill me. And he loves me more than you do, and I love him more than I love you. [stands up and points at the camera] You guys SUCK! I hate you both! You're the worst parents EVER! I hope you both get some horrible disease that'll make your junk go all spotty. I hope your house burns down. I hope bugs crawl up your assholes!

RACCOON: [stifles laughter]

SQUIRREL: I hope you see this and get scarred for life. What's it like, knowing your daughter's dead and there's nothing you can do about it? 'Cuz in just a few hours, Thanophile's gonna snuff me and then he's gonna fuck my corpse! Yeah! [makes thrusting gestures with her pelvis] How's that sound? I love it! I want him to! Maybe you'll see this and both drop dead from shock. That'd be cool! [starts giggling and sits back down]

RACCOON: Is that everything you wanted to say?

SQUIRREL: [appears to be thinking] Um, yeah: [looks back at camera] Eat a bunch of turds with broken glass sprinkled on top!

RACCOON: [laughs loudly] Bravo! I think they got the message. We all done now?

SQUIRREL: [nods] I think that's it.

RACCOON: [gets up off the couch and walks towards the camera until the image goes dark] Alright then. I hope this thing recorded it all. The battery-

Video ends here.


~~~~~


As Thanophile shut off the camera, Lily was rolling on the couch and laughing so hard she could barely breathe. "I can't believe we just did that! I can't believe I just *said* all that stuff!!"

"How'd it feel?" Thanophile asked over his shoulder.

"It felt GREAT!!" Lily shouted. She felt energized and full of glee.

Thanophile checked the camera's memory. "Oh, fantastic. It got everything! I'm kinda surprised."

"And we did it all in one take!" Lily added.

Thanophile popped out the memory card. "Yepper."

Lily knelt on the cushions and got serious for a second. "And, just so we're clear, we're not ever gonna show this to _anyone_, right?"

Thanophile paled. "Oh, of *course* not!"


~~~~~




PART SIXTEEN
~~~~~

It wasn't too long afterwards that Thanophile glanced at the clock and pronounced it close to dinnertime (which gave Lily an idea of how long she'd been out after he'd poisoned her and played funeral dress-up games). He said he didn't much feel like cooking and would she mind if he treated her to a night out? Lily surprised him, not by agreeing, but by asking if they could go to the same fast food place by the bus stop where they'd first met. He asked why. She told him that ever since her bus ride, she'd been looking forward to having a meal with him there and talking while they ate. It was a simple thing, but they'd made so many other of their dreams come true so far, why not? Smiling, he told her he thought it was a wonderful idea.

Lily considered for a moment going out in her beautiful funeral dress. What a head-turner she'd be in that! But practicality overcame pride. It would attract *too* much attention, and she certainly didn't want anyone butting in on her and Thanophile's fun before he got a chance to deliver her coup de grace. Lily's sweatpants and hoodie were still laying in a pile by the foot of the bed. She sniffed them; found them a bit stinky. Thanophile said that he liked their sweaty girl scent and didn't care what anyone else thought. Blushingly grateful for the compliment, Lily put her old clothes on (but couldn't resist leaving off her panties; which Thanophile then crumpled and stuffed down the front of his boxers).

The sun was already down and the evening air was much colder than yesterday when she'd gotten off the bus. Yesterday? It seemed impossible. These last two days had felt to Lily as long as a whole season. She couldn't remember life before Thanophile. As she stood in the frosty apartment building parking lot, listening to her lover swear discreetly as he tried to jam his key in the car lock, Lily looked to the black velvet sky and wished there was some way for her to still die and yet stay in this moment forever.

Dinner was magical. True, it was only burgers and fries, but it was exactly the moment Lily had hoped for. They chose a booth by the window and watched cars, buses and people hustle past as they ate. Since they were out in public they could no longer discuss their yiffy interests, so they limited their conversation to all the small, fun, personal stuff they didn't yet know about each other. All the little stories that made up their lives. The kind of moments you'd never guess just from looking at a furson. Lily told about the time when she was five and the blue frosting on her birthday cake had made her throw up all over her presents. About the time she won a gold ribbon in the school science fair for the homemade electromagnet she'd built all by herself. About the time she'd been on the news when she was interviewed at a local mall as to whether or not she believed in Santa Claus ("No, but I do believe in Mommy's credit cards," had been her out-of-her-mouth-before-she-realized-it response). Thanophile in turn had told her about the summer he spent in a cast after falling down a twenty foot ravine during a hiking trip in junior high. About searching for his name online and discovering there were two more Gordon Delevanes right here in his home state, and apparently no more in the rest of the country. About the time in med school when his class had observed their first live autopsy. He'd gained the nickname 'Stony' after that for being the only one of his classmates not to flinch, shout or puke when they peeled the skin back.

They stayed so late, Lily's drink turned completely to ice water without her realizing. Eventually the dinnertime crowd thinned out and they were two of only five customers in the whole place.

They cleaned up their trash and walked back to the car. The weather was bitingly cold, but Lily almost wished they could just leave the car and walk home. She liked seeing her breath make cottonballs in the air when she spoke. And she liked holding Thanophile's paw in hers as they walked.


~~~~~


"I wish I could eat you," Thanophile muttered as he twirled his finger in her hair.

They were naked again now. Almost as soon as the apartment door closed behind them, they'd shucked off their coats, dispensed with their clothes and headed for the bedroom. They were lying face to face on the bed now, warm and dreamy. Lily's dress was lying in her coffin in the same pose she hoped she'd soon be in.

Lily murred.

"Really. I wish I could just unhinge my jaw like one of those pythons and swallow you whole," Thanophile told her lovingly. He touched her nose, then tapped his throat and drew a line all the way to his stomach. "It'd be cozy and safe in there. Like a little room just for you. You could stay in there as long as you liked, and I'd keep you safe."

Lily closed her eyes and chittered at the sweet thought. She could see herself in her imagination, curled up in a little furball inside him. Eyes closed and at peace. Surrounded by his warm pink flesh. Held tight, but gently. Slowly digesting and becoming a part of him. "I'd like that," she said.

He grinned. "Really? You'd like to be my little entree? Should I start preparing a marinade for you?"

She giggled. "If by 'marinade' you mean you wanna spooge on me again, then go right ahead!"

He giggled too and pulled her close, nuzzling her hair and ears and tickling her bottom.

Lily wished briefly to be a cat so she could purr. "I really do like that idea; being inside you. I wish you could just gulp me and I could stay in your belly from now on. I'd never have to go home or go to school again. I could just sleep, knowing I was safe. Knowing how much you love me. And when I woke up, I could hear your heart beat." She put her ear to his chest. Pum-pum. Pum-pum. Pum-pum. "...Just like that."

Thanophile took in a long breath, held it, felt his own heart beat, then exhaled. "I wrote a little poem for you this morning as I was getting you ready for your funeral. Actually, it's not much. Doesn't rhyme. It's just something I thought of off the top of my head."

"I'd love to hear it," she said earnestly.

Thanophile looked up at the ceiling as he tried to remember all the words. "Wait, give me a moment..." She watched his lips move as he rehearsed it. "Okay, I think I got it." He looked in her eyes and recited:

   "Soon I'll snuff my little girl, then she'll be my little angel.
   "The ground will hold her safe and tight, and she will move no more.
   "Never speak or see or cry again, but dream in peace forever."

When he finished, Lily had tears in her eyes.

"That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard," she said.

"For real?" he said modestly. "It... I just sort of thought of it on the spot."

"I like it 'cause it's so heartfelt. It's like a little snuff lullaby." She smiled. "A snuffabye!"

He nuzzled her cheek, feeling a tiny spot of moisture from her happy tear. "I'm glad you like it then." He paused, and his expression turned more serious. "I've also been doing some thinking about you. About maybe why you want so much to be snuffed."

Lily was interested. "Okay. Go ahead 'n psychoanalyze me."

He chuckled. "I'm just a pharmacist, not a shrink. But I have been thinking a lot about you, your family life, all the stuff you wrote me in your emails. Even some of the things you told me tonight."

He propped himself up a bit more on his elbow. "Lily, I read a book about abnormal parental psychology a few months ago, and it said that a lot of times in an abusive household, there will be unspoken rules. Rules that everyone follows on a gut level, but they're never spoken of. Usually, the people in the house don't even realize what they are."

Lily's interest was piqued.

"In your case, I think your parents are giving you two very strong, contradictory rules. Rules that, if you obey one, you automatically break the other."

"Like with whether I should shut up or be honest about my mom's cooking?" she guessed.

"Exactly! In fact, that's what started me thinking about this. In your case, I think that what your parents are telling you is, one: 'you must always be perfect and never make any mistakes', and two: 'you must constantly make mistakes so that we can always have a reason for yelling at you and insulting you'. Does that ring true?"

Lily stiffened up and felt a chill up her spine. "That... Geez, that rings *spooky* true! I never thought of it before. But that's *it*! I mean, that's totally it. That's exactly what I feel like they're telling me. Like, 'Don't you dare screw up, Lily!' But then they set all these traps for me to try to trick me into screwing up!"

"The book said it happens a lot," Thanophile concurred. "That probably every family has unspoken rules, even positive ones sometimes. And that it's not at all uncommon for them to conflict with each other. So, now that you're older and smarter, you're starting to catch glimpses of those rules and see for yourself how crazy your life is. Before, you were too little. You didn't have any reference points to realize that this isn't how normal families are supposed to act."

Lily was nodding like a bobblehead, almost freaked out. Thanophile was reading her like a book. Way more accurate than a psychic.

"So, naturally, you want to rebel. You want to get out of there. And since you also started to learn about 'down there' around the same time..." He reached over to teasingly tickle her vulva, which made her flinch and grin and giggle. "...it's also not surprising that this desire to rebel showed up in your yiff fantasies. Only you know why you like the thought of funerals so much; why your mind chose that instead of some other fetish. But death can certainly be a metaphor for escape. If you were dead, that would mean running away to a place where your parents could never find you."

"Wow... Yeah." Lily felt almost foolish for not realizing all this on her own. It seemed so clear now, she didn't understand why her mind hadn't pieced it together before.

Thanophile's gaze became more intense. He put his arms around Lily and pulled her closer, letting her know that this was the most important part. "But Lily, because they've given you two paradoxical rules all your life, you still want to obey both of them. Even as you want to rebel, there's still a part of you that can't quite let go. You still want your mom and dad to love you. You still remember what few good times you've had with them, and wish it could always be like that. Am I right?"

Eyes wide, Lily mutely nodded.

"So, you want to rebel, but you also want to obey. But what if *you* weren't the one who rebelled? What if someone else did it for you? Then you wouldn't have to feel guilty. You want to die, partly because you want to escape from your parents and piss them off, but they still have enough hooks in you that you can't quite break free of them all the way. But what if you found someone *else* who could kill you? Who could make the choice for you instead...?"

Lily gasped. "Ohmygosh... I- Wow. Oh, geez. So... I'm just using you?" she said, sounding horrified at her own selfishness.

"Not at all!" he quickly reassured her. "I've got my own death fetish too, and I made my own choice to help you live out your fantasy. Don't feel ashamed, Lily. These are things your subconscious mind is deciding without letting you in on the process. You don't have to feel bad about things you're not even aware of."

"Alright," she said meekly.

He put a paw on her cheek. "Remember, I _want_ to help you. I know your emotions are all locked up inside. I know you couldn't make the choice to break away from them all on your own. I know you needed me."

"But _how_ did you know?" Lily asked.

Thanophile smiled slyly. "Because in all the time we've known each other, in all your fantasies about dying, I have never once heard you mention suicide."

Lily blinked. Was that possible? She combed through her own memories. "I... You're right. I don't think I've _ever_ really thought about killing myself. I mean, I've thought about it. But it was just like I had the idea and then went, 'Nah. Don't want it. Not for me'."

Thanophile looked like he could not have been less surprised. "See how torn up and tied up your little heart is?" he asked, touching a fingertip to her chest. "You couldn't even let yourself consider the possibility. They've kept you down for so many years, they've made you believe you're powerless. That you can't make choices on your own without doubting them so much you end up gridlocked. It's easier to control someone when they feel that way about themselves. You were thinking, 'I want to rebel, but I can't rebel. I want to die but I can't leave them.' They hurt you _deeply_, Lily. They took away the part of you that lets you make these kinds of decisions on your own."

A long, deep, whimpering sigh. Lily felt torn open, her insides exposed. Like a book with its cover torn off. It hurt, but she didn't blame Thanophile for it. Like before, when he had told her she was ugly, it was a truth that hurt at first, but made her feel better later. Like getting a shot at the doctor's.

Thanophile could see the sadness and hurt on her face. He massaged her shoulder. "I don't know... Do you still want to go through with it now? Me snuffing you? We could stop. I could-"

Lily looked up suddenly and cut him off. "No. I want to do it even _more_ now!"

Her reaction surprised him. "Why's that?"

She bit her lip, unsure. "I kinda don't know. Like, I sort of know. I think... I think, like, you said about me wanting to die but not being able to do it myself so I need you?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Then... Then that's what my heart knows it wants, right? I _know_ I want to die. I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life. I feel good and happy when I even just *think* of dying. I know I want it. And if my heart knows I can't do it myself, and that I need you, then... I trust it. I trust my heart. If it says I need you, then I need you."

Lily placed her small paw on his chest, feeling his fur. "And I trust _you_. Everything you've done so far has been exactly what I've wanted. Even when you've surprised me and tricked me. *Especially* then! I love it when you do stuff like that. You've been so thoughtful. You've gone so far to make me happy. I know there's no one else on Earth who could give me the wonderful, happy death I've always wanted. So, if that will make you happy too, and if it's not asking too much, then that's what I want. My life is yours."

Thanophile exhaled, closed his eyes, and pulled Lily close. His hug was his reply.

Lily was surrounded by his fur and warmth again, like on the couch after they'd watched the video. "Do it now..." she whispered. "Yiff me, then snuff me. Please. I know I told you I wanted you to surprise me, but now I want this moment to be my last. I've never been happier. I want to die right here and now, on this bed, with you."

Eyes still closed, Thanophile spoke softly in her ear. "Are you sure? One hundred percent sure? I have to ask first; you know that."

"I know," she said, understanding perfectly that he could not go through with it unless they were both totally committed to seeing it through. "And I am."

He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Alright then, sweetheart. But first I have to get up and get something. I'll be right back." With that, he pushed himself up on his arm and left the room.


~~~~~


Lily felt incomplete until he returned. She felt his footsteps behind her, then heard his voice. "I have to give you a shot first. I was saving this until now. It'll keep you from feeling too much pain, sweetheart. You'll still feel a little, but not as much. Okay?"

"Okay," Lily said.

"Keep still. It'll be over in a second."

Lily felt a paw on her thigh, then a tiny pinprick on her buttock. She 'Eep'ed and jerked a little, less from the pain and more from the surprise at where he'd stuck her.

Thanophile chuckled. "Your hiney just made such an inviting target," he explained.

She smiled, then her smile became a wide grin as he walked around the bed into her field of vision. His cock was out and erect, and thoroughly covered in lube. But what made her even more excited was that he was carrying a violet silk scarf stretched tightly between his fists.

"You're gonna strangle me?" she asked eagerly. "While we have sex?"

He nodded. "Exactly. When would you like me to?"

She thought for a second. So many delicious possibilities! Her heartrate was speeding up just thinking about them! Should it be while he was cumming in her? Or while she came? Or after? "Um... How about right after both of us come? Like, have the scarf around my throat the whole time, then pull it as tight as you can right after we finish!"

He grinned sinfully. "Sounds good to me." He advanced towards her and gave the scarf two sharp tugs. Lily could see his arms bulge when he did. Her cheeks were red hot now. She was feeling hornier than she could remember in weeks.

Thanophile knelt down and knee-walked closer to her on the bed. He laid himself down by her side. Then, looking into her eyes the whole time, he unraveled the silk from around his paws, torturously slow, and reached behind Lily's head. When she felt the silk touch her throat, she came very close to having an orgasm on the spot. "Ohhhh... You're really gonna do it this time!"

"Yup. For real. Still sure?" he said with a smirk.

"Quit asking and start yiffing me!" she whined, transparently needful.

Grinning wider now, he let go of one end of the silk and pulled their hips together. Lily chittered cutely when the tip of his penis touched her tummyfur. "I'm going to put it in nice and slow so I don't hurt you," he told her.

"I don't care if you shove it in and it hurts!" she whimpered. "Just yiff me! And don't worry about hurting me. I kinda want you to. Be rough. Like when you were grinding up against me when you pushed my head in the sink."

Thanophile took hold of his rock-solid slippery cock and guided it towards her entry. "Really? That's what you want?"

"Uh-huh. I like feeling helpless with you. Like, remember what you said about me needing you to do it? You're taking the choice away from me so I won't feel guilty. And I want that. But also because I know you won't *really* be rough, and if it hurts it'll only be for a second 'cause you really do love me and you want to be gentle with me."

"Sounds like you're pretty insightful yourself," he told her, proud of her for accepting herself and what she wanted.

"It's just roleplay. It's just a game. Like you said," Lily told him. "I can pretend you're the big mean killer who's taking me and I don't have a choice. But really, I know that's not at all true and... And that..." Epiphany sparkled in her eyes. "I really am in control, aren't I?"

He nodded. "You have been from the start. I guess you just couldn't quite accept it until now."

"It really *is* my choice," Lily marvelled. "I *am* doing it on my own, I'm just asking for your help. And because it's so much better with you than by myself."

"It makes me feel good to hear that," he said. "I can't imagine ever doing this with anyone but you."

"Then do it!" Lily said, smiling bright as starlight. "Yiff me and kill me! Fuck me silly, then strangle me 'till my head pops off!" she cried lustily, then giggled like a shower of tiny bubbles.

"Whatever you say!" Thanophile took hold of Lily by her hips, then rolled them both over so she was on top of him. He cupped her perfectly squeezable buns in his paws and pushed her down onto his penis.

"Oh!!" Lily cried.

Thanophile felt himself sheathed in warm, wet, gripping silk. He shut his eyes and grimaced at the intensity of the sensation. "Lily... You are *tight*!"

She was breathing hard. She sat up on his lap so she could feel it within her, spearing her. Impaling her like a knife. (That thought made her dizzy for a second from its sheer hotness) "It does kinda hurt... A little. But it's going away."

"Should I...?"

"No! Just let me get used to it." She shifted around experimentally. Even with it being smaller than average, it was still a grownup cock and she was still not quite out of cubhood. It burned in her. Her cunny felt sore, but in a good way. Like how sometimes it hurt her tummy to finally eat after being hungry for a long time. Pain mixed with satisfaction.

The scarf had fallen away from Lily's neck when she sat up. Thanophile reached up to wrap it around again. She cooed at the feel of the supple fabric. He wrapped the other end tightly around his other hand, then gave a slow tug. "How's that feel?"

Lily moaned; a sound so blatantly sexual he had no doubt as to her answer.

"Tighter," she said. "I want to gasp for breath while you yiff me."

His eyes lit up at the idea. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to keep from cumming right this second!"

"Then hurry up!" she urged. "It feels good now; go for it!"

Trusting her, he pulled back his hips, then shot them forward.

Lily squeaked! The scarf had tightened as he'd bucked. An extremely enjoyable sensation! "Again!!"

With all hesitation finally out of the way, Thanophile let himself go. He thrust his hips hard, sending Lily up at least an inch. He kept the scarf taut; he could see the fur on her throat fluffed out around its edges.

Lily was mindless with ecstacy. This was it. The climax of her life. The perfect ending. As soon as she came, that would be her death sentence. Like the executioner pulling the rope on a guillotine. Once she came, her life was over forever. That frightening, inescapable deadline made her moist as a fresh peach.

Thanophile's paws caressed her firmly, as if sculpting her every curve. He bounced her hard, and her cunny held onto him tight as a fist. He could feel sweat all over his face. He didn't think there were words for pleasure like this.

The tight silk around Lily's throat indeed made her fight for each breath. Thanophile's cock was thick, filling her painfully, marvelously tight. With every thrust, she felt herself fly for a heartbeat, then crash into his lap, the pain and pleasure spiking together, intertwined.

"Yiff me!" she shouted, her voice choked by the silk. He loosened it just enough for her to talk. "Yiff me hard and promise me you'll yiff me even more after I'm dead! Even if I don't exist anymore and never even know it, promise me you'll use me and enjoy me for as long as you can!" She was almost delirious with lust, her thoughts of being loved, owned and useful overpowering her.

"I promise!" he growled back, his concentration and control almost more than he could bear. His member wanted to go Krakatoa any second now, but he forced it with all his might to hold off just a little longer.

"Kill me and yiff me and then cut me up into bits! Make me a pretty pelt that you can hang on your wall! Cook my meat and eat me! Love me with your tummy! Digest me! Throw my bones away! Put them in the coffin in my gorgeous dress, or put them in a trash bag and send me to the dump! I don't care, just get rid of me! Cut off my head and make it your toy! Use me all the time! All the time! Use me till I'm worn out! Cut me, kill me, destroy me, love me! Anything you want is okay and I want it too because I want you to be happy and I LOVE YOU!!!"

Lily's scream of raw, unrestrained passion shattered Thanophile's ability to control himself any longer. His semen boiled out of him in an unimaginably powerful orgasm. And at the same time, he reflexively pulled the scarf tight.

Pain scissored through Lily like a thousand tiny lightning bolts. Her vision went nearly black. It was almost too intense a sensation to process, but she did. She knew what it meant. It meant he loved her too, and was showing it by not backing down.

He did back down though, but only for a moment. Once he realized he'd promised to wait until Lily came too, he loosened the scarf just enough for her to speak. Already he could see how red her throat was, right through her fur.

"Lily," he gasped, "If you have any last words, you'll never get another chance to tell me them." His tone made it clear; he could barely control himself anymore. He was trembling from the effort of restraining his lust. His arms wanted to pull the scarf with all their might and watch Lily's face turn black.

Lily gathered her senses just long enough to look in his eyes. Her smile was radiant with devotion. "Everything I've ever said to you has been my last words."

For a second, their bodies ceased to exist. In that moment while their gaze was locked, their souls connected perfectly. In the reflections of their eyes, they saw each other come together in a quiet, gentle hug, and kiss each other goodbye. They both knew this was the end, and that it was not a sad farewell.

Thanophile gripped the silk in his fists and yanked it in opposite directions as hard as he could.

Lily came.

Her throat exploded in pain again. She welcomed the sensation, made love to it. She felt something hot splash inside her. Honey poured down Thanophile's cock. She knew this was it. Her last moment alive. Her time was up. No more Lily.

She was happy.

She spiralled so suddenly into unconsciousness that Thanophile had to catch her when she fell forwards, limp as a corpse.


~~~~~




PART SEVENTEEN
~~~~~

Much later, after the deed was done, Thanophile sat on his bed, head down, and wished he was a smoker.

It was over. He had done what he had to and now it was over. He felt nothing but bitterness towards his actions. Loss. Regret.

He was happy for Lily though. That at least called a small smile out of hiding for a second.

He took a deep breath, then got up and went to the phone to do what he'd been planning to do all along.

He held the receiver in his hand for a long time before he'd worked up the courage to punch in the numbers. Eventually, that squawking voice started up with, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again..."

Thanophile hung up, picked up the receiver again, and dialed.

He waited a few seconds. Then a young woman's voice was in his ear. "911; what is your emergency?"

He thought at first his voice would go out and he'd end up just standing here holding the phone like a wooden statue. But somehow his lips bypassed his brain and he found himself saying, "Please connect me to the police. I've just killed a little girl."

Just like that. It was done. He'd said it as calmly and with as little emotion as the lady who'd asked him to hang up and dial again.

The woman on the other end of the line was flustered for a second. "C-could you repeat that, sir?"

"Get me the *police*! I just strangled a little girl to death!!" he barked harshly.

The woman said nothing. The phone went dead for a second, then he heard a dial tone.

A bored-sounding male answered this time. "This is the police. Fifth precinct."

"I just murdered a little girl."

"You WHAT!?" Thanophile thought he could hear food flying out of the man's mouth.

Thanophile felt his cheeks burning. "How many goddamn times do I have to repeat myself? I just killed a little girl! I strangled her! I did it while I was *fucking* her, do you comprehend that!?"

"If this is a-"

"No, it's not a joke or a hoax or any other bullshit! I live at 614 Peregrine avenue, apartment 3C. I'm not going anywhere. Figure out what you're going to do with this information and get a move on doing it!!" Thanophile slammed the receiver down hard, nearly cracking the plastic.

He stood there, naked, panting, heart pounding, barely believing he'd had the balls to actually go through with it.

'They're on their way,' he told himself. 'This is it. Your life is now over. You knew it had to end this way, so don't just stand here. Remember what you planned.'

Thanophile nodded, and followed his own good advice.

He took a small tour of the apartment, making sure everything was in place. He watered each of his plants. He tidied up a few things. Ate a handful of cookies. He paused to stare at Lily's coffin for a few moments. Finally, he sat down on the bed and put on his shoes.

He stood up and walked to the livingroom. He sat on the couch with both arms out in front of him. He would remain motionless until they came. He wanted them to see his hands; see that they were empty. He would cooperate with everything they said, but he would force them to arrest him if he had to. Just in case they thought he was some loon lying for attention and couldn't see the evidence in plain sight all over his apartment.

"Fuck it," he said, smiling strangely. "When they get here and ask why, I'll just tell 'em I didn't feel like doing the dishes..."


~~~~~




PART EIGHTEEN
~~~~~

Lily awoke to cold.

She came out of her sleep slowly, groggy like last time. And the first thing she was aware of was how badly she was shivering.

'I'm outside,' she thought.

She waited a few moments for all her sensory apparatus to come back online, to see if things would start making any more sense. They didn't. She was still freezing. 'I don't remember hearing about Heaven being cold. And I know Hell wouldn't be. Maybe I'm in limbo? Or what's it called... purgatory?'

Lily blinked, saw only darkness.

She sat up; realized she'd been asleep with her arm over her eyes. Unfamiliar fabric creaked when she moved. She was back in her sweatpants and hoodie again, but someone had also put an oversize winter coat on her, along with a scratchy wool cap and a pair of mittens with something square in her left palm. From the straps over her shoulders, she also deduced she was wearing a backpack.

Reality coalesced to the point where she finally knew where she was, but not why.

She was back at the bus stop. Street lamps glared down at her; their light as cold and heartless as the weather. She'd been lying down on the bench, asleep. So deeply asleep, in fact, that the wrinkles on her sleeve had left impressions in her cheek.

In front of her was the dark, silent city. For things to be this quiet, it had to be way early in the morning. Well past midnight. She looked behind her and saw that the fast food place's lights were off except for a dim one way in the back.

For a second, her insides clenched horribly at the thought that it had all been a dream.

But no, this was real. And there was something square in her palm. Something that felt like paper.

She pulled off her mitten and a small white square came out. Typing paper. Folded up as tightly as possible. "Lily, I'm sorry" was written on it.

She understood enough now for her to start crying.

Slowly, she unfolded the note. She almost didn't want to read it at first, afraid of what it would say. What possible reason could he have had for rejecting her like this? Her mind could not comprehend why a second ago she'd been wrapped in the purest bliss of her life, and now she was cold and shivering on this icy metal bench that was freezing her butt right through her sweatpants.

She wiped her tears off on her sleeve and started reading anyway.

   I'll bet you're really starting to get sick of waking up like this, huh?

She sniffed. Almost laughed.

   I'm so sorry. So sorry I can't say it enough. I wanted to go through
   with it, like you wanted. I wanted to go all the way and really snuff
   you and then have fun with your beautiful little body and do all the
   things I promised. But I couldn't. I chickened out. I don't know if my
   reasons are good enough or if I'm just a coward.

   That shot I gave you? The same stuff I put in your orange juise, just
   diluted a little so it'd take longer to work. I knew it'd make you go
   unconscious long before you would have run out of breath. I even
   checked to make sure you were still breathing after you collapsed.
   After I finish this letter, I'm going to dress you and take you back
   to the bus stop. I didn't plan this out enough to buy you a ticket,
   but there's $500 in your coat pocket. (Actually it's my old coat; I
   didn;'t want you to get cold) If I've timed this right, the bus
   should be showing up soon. Tell the driver you need to get to
   Jurrensville. Show himt he money and tel him you'll pay for the
   ticket once you get there. I've given you five hundred dollars. One
   because it's all I had in my savings stash, two because I don't ever
   want you to go home again. The last sheet of paper here is information
   on a shelter for runaways that's not too far from here. They'll take
   you in for free. don't let them see how much money you have at first.
   Keep it hidden just in case. And make DAMN SURE they don't try to
   contact your parents. I'm sure they won't, after you tell them all
   that you've been through, but you still have to be careful.

   I'm writing this as fast as I can to make sure I get you to the bus
   stop in time. After that, thats the last I'll see of you. I hate that
   fact, but this is the way it has to be. I don't feel like I can trust
   myself anymore. I'm afraid of myself.

   I'll try to explain. Okay, see, I've always wanted to snuff a pretty
   little girl like you, and for my whole life up until I met you that was
   all just fantasy. Harmles, safe fantasy. But with you, it turned real.
   And I realized that if I went through with it with you, I'd want to do
   it again. That's how it is almost every time you fantasize about a
   fetish for a long, long time and then try it in real life. It never
   lives up to your expectations. No matter how much you plan. I realized
   that once you were dead for real, it wouldn't be like when I

Lily looked up suddenly as a bright light reflected off the glass walls of the bus stop into her eyes. Headlights.

Dammit! She was only halfway through the letter (which he really must've written hastily since she'd never seen him make so many typos before). She stood up so the driver would see her. The big silver bus crawled to a stop and braked with a hiss. The door opened. Lily ran over to it.

Her shoes clunked on the big steps inside. It was warm in here, and nearly empty except for one sleeping woman in the back in a green overcoat.

The driver, a badger, was portly and had a nice smile. "Ticket, little girl?"

Lily didn't have to act confused and scared to gain his sympathy; she already was. She quickly folded the note and stuffed it in her pocket. "I don't have a ticket. But just give me a second..." She rooted around in the big coat's pockets before her paw fell on something her mind couldn't believe at first. She'd never felt a stack of bills so thick in her life. She pulled it out and was amazed a second time to actually see it. "I've got money."

The driver's eyes bulged a little. "Woooo-wee! Girl, you sure do! Where you headed?"

"Jurrensville," Lily remembered.

At the mention of the word, the driver's demeanor immediately changed. "Put your money away, honey. I know what's there," he said gently. His voice was warm like honey.

Lily froze for a second in disbelief. "You're sure?"

"Is it the shelter?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Ride's free then," he stated, his tone making it clear the matter was settled. "I'll take you right to the doorstep and drop you off. You just go on back there and find you a seat. Make yourself comfortable."

Lily smiled, and felt her frozen cheeks burn a little. "Thank you very much, sir," she said as politely as she could.

He reached out with a big grin and patted her on the head. "Go on now. I'll get you there before sunup."

Buoyed by this sudden magical display of goodwill, Lily walked past the driver and took a seat a few rows down. She snugged her rear into the corner of the seat between the vinyl and the crinkly-textured metal wall. The window felt nice and cool on her cheek.

The driver started the bus up again. Soon they were moving.

There was enough light from the streetlamps to continue reading. Lily pulled out Thanophile's note again and found her place.

   I realized that once you were dead for real, it wouldn't be like when
   I set you up for your funeral. You weren't going to wake up this time.

   Ad I couldn't deal with that. I couldn't deal with the finality of
   that. No matter how good that moment would be when I snuffed you, no
   matter how intense the orgasm was (and it WAS a really good cum, by
   the way!), afterwards, nothing would change the fact that you'd be
   nothing but a shell from then on. As many times as I jerked off
   imaginign doing sexy things to your sexy dead body, you were always
   alive the next time I wated to fantasize again. Do you understand now?
   If I had killed you for real, I know I would have inevitably been
   disappointed. I'd never be able to smell your lovely scent again. Hear
   your pretty voice. Listen to you tell me your own fantasies. YOU would
   be gone, and all I'd have would be your fur, your meat and your bones.
   And then, inevitably, I'd want to do it again. I'd grieve for a while,
   but then myfantasies would start up again, I'd go online again, and
   I'd find someone else. And maybe that someone else wouldn't be quite
   as willing as you were. Maybe I'd have to coax them into it. And then
   after they were dead, I'd want to do it again. And again and again and
   again until I either got caught or had become so addicted to it that
   I'd lose my soul and end up a monster. The possibility exists that
   someday I could actually force someone to submit to me murdering them.
   And I can't let that happen to me. I love myself, and I love you, too
   much to let that happen.

   You won't see me again. Google my name in a couple of days. I've
   already planned out what I'm going to do so it'll be easy to find a
   news story about me. I can't tell you, because you might try to stop
   me. And I can't even let MYSELF stop me.

   Again, I'm sorry. I hate that I cheated you out of your happiest
   moment, but consequences are more important than a single moment's
   pleasure. I tried to make up for it though. There's the money, and your
   white dress is folded up and sealed in a bag in that backpack. I wish
   I could have seen you try it on for yourself. Also, my flash drive's
   in there. Don't Ever Let Anyone See It! It's got the video of us
   yelling stuff at the camera and, of course, your funeral. I even
   remembered to put your backup disk in there. That was smart of you,
   making that!

   I know you're sad right now and maybe even really pissed off at me. but
   think about this and be happy: you have your fantasy, right there in
   the backpack. Whenever you want, you can watch that video and see
   yourself looking more beautiful than any other little squirrel in the
   world in your coffin (I wish there was a way for me to give you that,
   too!). A lot of times, fantasy is better than reality. In fantasy, you
   can control it and have it end any way you want. In real life, we're
   very rarely that lucky.

   I will alwyas love you, Lily. More than anything else forever.

   -Thanophile.

By the time she finished, Lily had fresh tears pouring down her cheeks. And yes, some parts of her were bitterly disappointed and furious at Thanophile. But much more of her knew that he'd done the right thing. Even without the video clip on the flash drive, she still had her memory. She had lived out her two biggest, most yifftastic fantasies: seeing her own funeral, and getting to spend a magical weekend with her very favorite author.

From what he'd written, Lily was able to infer that Thanophile was very likely going to kill himself now. In fact, it was possible he'd already done so. That made her sad. But she also realized that she always had the option to join him later on.

It was her choice. Her life. She could live it, or end it, any way she wanted.


~~~~~


After about two hours, the bus stopped in front of a slightly large but relatively normal-looking residence. There was a sign out front that said 'The Lighthouse' and beneath that, 'Lighting the way for those in the dark'.

"This is it," the driver said from up front. "You're not asleep are you?"

"Nope, I'm awake." Lily stood up, stretched hard (not realizing until just now how cramped her legs felt), and walked up to the front of the bus. "Thanks again. That was really nice of you."

He nodded and touched the brim of his cap. "Anyone going to this place needs a little helping hand, catch my drift?"

She nodded.

He opened the doors for her. "Good luck, little girl."

She stepped off and turned back to give him a parting smile. "Goodbye! Thanks again!"

He grinned, shut the door, and the bus rumbled slowly away.

Standing in the street in the frozen morning, Lily watched the bus disappear from sight. Then she turned and looked at her new temporary home. A light was on in the window. She wondered who'd be there to greet her. She wondered if there'd be other kids.

'Geez, I hope they have a computer!' she realized. 'A flash drive's about as useful as a toenail clipping without something to plug it into!'

Then she heard a sound behind her.


~~~~~




PART NINETEEN
~~~~~


Handcuffs hurt like hell, Thanophile realized.

"Move it, you sick fuck!!" Officer Schultz screamed in the raccoon's face as he frog-marched him down the hall. Thanophile felt the man's spittle hit his cheeks.

"I *am* moving it. I've been walking at the same pace since we left my apartment," he said reasonably.

"Then move FASTER!!" The feline officer tightened his grip on the rubber device that was wrapped around Thanophile's hand. It had looked like nunchuks to him at first, but then he very quickly realized that their purpose was to cause maximum pain while leaving no visible marks. He winced and hissed back a cry of pain. His thumb had gone completely numb by now. This loud sonofabitch hadn't let up on him for a second. His partner, while still thuggish and brutal, was mercifully less so.

"No funny shit," Officer Lemke advised as the trio exited Thanophile's apartment building. The raccoon didn't have to look behind him to know that four or five more officers were in his home right now, overturning all of his possessions and probably stealing whatever they could get their hands on that wouldn't be missed.

The two officers led him to their squad car where another cop holding a styrofoam cup of coffee helpfully held the door open for them. Officer Schultz yapped, "Head down!" while shoving Thanophile into the backseat so hard the raccoon hit his temple on the doorframe and saw stars.

"Asshole," Thanophile growled.

In less than a heartbeat, Officer Schultz was in his face. "Do you know what's going to happen to you, pedo? Huh!? You are going to prison. Even if all it's for is for filing a false report. And do you know what is going to happen to you there? You're gonna get raped! That's what happens to sick pedophile monster motherfuckers like you! You are gonna get raped so hard, your asshole's not gonna stop bleeding from the time you enter to the time you get shanked in your sleep!!"

Looking him directly in the eye, Thanophile replied pithily, "Sounds better than spending five minutes with you."

Officer Schultz punched him in the face. Hard enough to knock him across the backseat and hit his skull on the opposite door.

When his head stopped buzzing, he was at least rewarded by the sound of the coffee cup cop chuckling. Thanophile looked up and saw Schultz was Not Happy. That made him smile.

Officer Lemke got behind the wheel, put the car in drive, and eased out of the parking lot. Thanophile was not surprised to see that most of his neighbors were gathered out on the lawn or at their windows, wondering what all the sirens and flashing red and blue lights were about. He supposed it was cruel of him to deal them such an unpleasant surprise. Undoubtedly, some would demand out of their leases immediately after learning they'd been living in the same building as a pedophile. As if proximity made it contagious.

As the cop car drove off, Thanophile smiled to himself as he imagined what would happen when they tried fiddling with his computer. The software had been extremely pricey (and highly illegal), but would hopefully prove well worth the expense. First, it erased all his data. Then he'd set it so that the next time it turned on, the hard drive would irreparably corrupt itself. Then, if anyone at the police station tried to divulge what had been on it, it was set to infect their computers with a nasty little worm. Thanophile thought of it as a parting 'fuck you' present.

"What the fuck are you smiling about!?" Officer Schultz screeched, banging hard on the wire window separating them.

Thanophile shrugged. "Little girls' pussies. Or whatever else it is you think pedophiles think about."

Officer Schultz was getting dangerously angry. "I could shoot you in the balls, claim it was an accident, and all I'd face is a bunch of paperwork."

"I'm sure that's true," Thanophile agreed with a perfect poker face. 'Gotta love that Blue Wall Of Silence...' He decided to leave the wired feline alone for a while. No sense tipping the prick over the breaking point too soon. He reached down to tie his shoe, then was silent.

A few minutes later, Officer Lemke turned to his partner at a red light. "I didn't catch it all; what'd this guy supposedly do?"

Schultz snorted. "Called up saying he raped a little girl and then killed her. We haven't found a body yet, but the lab fags say there's body fluids all over the place."

Thanophile spoke up politely. "Um, excuse me. I didn't rape her. As a matter of fact, she was an extremely willing partner."

Officer Schultz immediately rammed his elbow into the wire grille. "SHUT UP!!! You fucking freaks are all the same! 'They loved it, they loved it!' Yeah, and what other fuckin' delusions do you have!?"

Thanophile thought the setup was perfect. He sat back coolly. "Oh, how about the delusion that you'll never get me back to the station. How's that?"

Officer Schultz laughed like a teakettle. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Wanna wager? I'll bet you both five bucks I will never walk into that station you're driving me to. I will never go before a judge. I will never go to prison. Whaddaya say? Five bucks on that?"

Lemke chortled, obviously thinking that their perp was insane. "I'll take that."

Thanophile smiled. "Pay up."

And then he tipped sideways and slid down the backseat to the floor.


~~~~~


Officers Lemke and Schultz initially had no idea what had happened to the raccoon in their custody. It took days to piece it all together, especially considering the massive tech repairs they had to call in after a careless computer geek had forgotten to check for malicious software before diving into the suspect's home computer.

The autopsy showed that the suspect, a pharmacist, had created a few tablets of an incredibly toxic poison while at work, then smuggled them home. He had hidden them in a small depression in the heel of his left shoe, which was covered by his insole. He had kept them there for days, possibly weeks, making it clear that this had all been part of a meticulously thought-out plan. In the back of the car, he had slipped the two tablets into his hand, then into his mouth. When he bit through the coating, he had died almost instantly.

The suspect must have had a perverted sense of humor, because he was apparently well aware that the poison had a side effect of loosening all his body's muscles, including his sphincters.

Officer Schultz was reported as saying, "I'm not cleaning that up! You are!"


~~~~~




PART TWENTY
~~~~~


Thanophile awoke with a start, like being wrenched out of a bad dream by a wailing alarm clock, and the first thing he realized was that he couldn't move his arms. The second thing he noticed was that he was sitting naked on a wooden chair. The third thing he noticed was that whatever room he was in was nearly pitch-black, lit only by a dim bulb several feet directly over head.

"Time to rise and shine, sleepyhead."

The voice sent needles down Thanophile's spine. It was reptilian, snippy and bloodless, like some kind of mincing, merciless snake.

"Do you know where you are, snookums? Any ideas? What's the last thing you rememberrrrr?" The voice lingered on that last 'r', trailing it out for almost five seconds.

"I..." Thanophile gasped. "I killed myself in the back of that cop car." There was no way the poison could have failed. He'd perfected it for exactly this occasion! It was supposed to stop his heart *instantly*! Now here he was, tied up naked in some warehouse with a lisping sadist looming somewhere in the shadows!

"Oo, clever boy! Yes, that *was* quite the ingenious bit of handiwork. Proud of it? I'd be."

"Who Are You!?" Thanophile roared.

He heard the owner of the voice 'tsk tsk'. "Not yet, silly. First, you have to guess where *you* are."

Snarling, he rattled his securely-bound arms against the chair frame. "I don't know! Hell?"

The voice grinned audibly. "Bing-go."

Thanophile froze. His jaw fell open. "No..." He'd never believed in this place. Always thought the afterlife was either a myth or something so incomprehensible he didn't even bother trying to imagine it. Hell? That was ridiculous!

The voice slithered out into the light, and Thanophile let out a very womanly shriek when he saw its owner.

It was sort of a blood-red fox, but with the body design of a lizard. There were places with fur, places with scales, and at least six arms. The thing was small and spindly, yet still looked like it could rend him to shreds in mere seconds. It's eyes were fuchsia, the inside of it's mouth day-glo green. On it's furred head were two silver horns that looked disturbingly like knife blades.

"Ta da!" it said.

The fox/lizard/demon sashayed over to cup Thanophile's chin in one of its hands. "Believe me now, sweetie?"

Thanophile screamed. He jerked away, purely on instinct, and very nearly toppled the chair over.

The red thing rolled it's eyes. "Rude, rude, rude! What a beastly attitude!"

Thanophile faced the thing, his heart thudding and his breath coming in ragged fragments. He stared at it, forcing himself to acknowledge its existence. It was just so *wrong* though. So hideously unearthly. Its existence caused a primal revulsion. This thing spat on all the laws of physics just by standing there and talking to him.

"Do you know why you're here?" it asked primly.

'I should really stop calling him an 'it',' Thanophile thought, given that the thing's very red genitals were prominently swaying between his legs. "...I have an idea," he finally managed.

The demon narrowed his eyes. "Do you deny obtaining sexual gratification from thoughts of death, corpses and murder?"

The thing obviously knew already, so what was the sense in lying? "No," Thanophile said quietly.

"Do you deny making contact over the internet with a twelve-year-old cub and indulging in sexual dialogue with her?"

Thanophile winced. "No."

"Do you deny arranging to meet her for the express purpose of having sex with her and then killing her?"

Thanophile winced harder. "No."

"Do you deny raping this g-"

Thanophile's head shot up and his eyes were blazing with rage. "YES I deny raping her, you red-scaled piece of shit!!! I *love* Lily! The only reason I ever agreed to do *anything* with her is that she wanted me to and I wanted to make her happy. Say I raped her again and I will break these ropes and rip your tongue out!"

The demon merely arched an eyebrow. "Such theatrics. Careful, you'll make me moist," he quipped.

"I mean it," Thanophile said, his voice gravelly with hatred. "Punish me all you want, torture me forever, but you will never get me to say I raped her. I *killed* myself to keep from ever going that far!!"

"Did you? Are you sure? Search your heart now, is that the only reason?"

Thanophile took in a deep breath. "I think so. I don't know," he admitted. "I'm much better at understanding other people's problems than my own. I can only hope I did it for the right reasons."

The demon smiled slyly. "So... do you deny that you fully planned to kill this girl, then stopped yourself at the crucial moment?"

"I knew _hours_ in advance that I couldn't go through with it."

"But you didn't tell her the real reason why in that letter you wrote," the demon returned.

"What!?" Thanophile was pissed again. "I was nothing but honest in that letter! I'd never lie to her!"

The demon put his hands up. "Simmer down, cutie! Simmer down! I never said you lied. Only that you didn't know the real reason yourself. Want me to tell you?"

Thanophile sneered. "Why should I believe you?"

The demon grinned. "Let me just lay it on you and you tell me if it feels right, m'kay?" He waited for a response, got none, and continued. "The reason you couldn't kill Lily is because you could never hurt her. All the other times, you knew the risk was minimal. You even fibbed to her when you said there was a twenty to twenty-five percent chance that little OJ cocktail could have done her in. What was the real percentage, mmm?"

"Two point six," he admitted.

The demon patted him on the head like he'd been a good pupil. "And you only exaggerated so much because you knew that'd make her horny, right? So there you go. You couldn't kill her because there were too many uncertain variables."

Thanophile furrowed his brow. "Come again?"

The demon came even closer, and for the first time his blazing purple eyes showed a trace of compassion. "If you had killed her, she might have gone to Heaven to dance about forever on little fluffy clouds. Or her soul might have stayed with her body to enjoy all the lascivious things you intended to do with it. Or she might have ceased to exist. Or she might have been sent here, to burn for all eternity like naughty girls do.

"Because there was that unknown chance that killing her might cause her to suffer, you couldn't go through with it. Do you deny this?"

Thanophile was quiet for a second as he slowly realized that the demon was right. Totally and completely right. He hadn't been able to put it into words himself, but it had been a feeling. And now he knew. "No. I don't deny it."

Bright lights came on, klaxons blared, Thanophile was showered in confetti and the demon did a backwards cartwheel and threw his hands in the air, shrieking gaily, "Then congratulations!!! You've passed with flying colors!!!"

Needless to say, Thanophile was a bit disoriented by this.

But then he heard the sound of a metal door rising open somewhere behind him, and an unmistakable voice shouted his name in joy.

He swivelled around in his seat, the ropes binding him having disappeared. "...Lily!?"

The plump little naked squirrel ran like a rocket and hurled herself at him in a hug so fierce it tipped them both to the ground.

"THANOPHILE!!!" she squealed again. "Holy poop, I can't tell you how glad I am to see you!!" she covered his face in a multitude of happy little kisses.

"Wha-? I-!?" he sputtered.

"I *love* what you've done with your fur!" she gushed.

"What? I haven't..." That was when he looked down and finally took the time to look at himself. He was struck silent. All of his brown fur had turned jet black, and all of his black fur had turned milky-white. And as expected, he was barely able to see the diamond-shaped patch of bright crimson just below his throat. "How the...?"

"You look just like the main character of 'Razors Need To Eat Too', right?" she already knew, of course, since she'd read that one at least three times.

Finding yourself suddenly looking like a character from one of your own stories, a character you've wanted to look like for more years than you can remember, creates an interesting blend of disbelief and euphoria. This can be heightened by realizing that a little squirrel girl you love is not only still featuring her glasses, but also a pair of stubby rubber-looking black horns. "Whu- I- Oh, I am so confused right now! Lily, why are you *here*!? I made sure you were breathing after I strangled you. I made sure-" Realization hit and terror flooded his eyes. "Oh, sweet Jesus. You froze to death at the bus stop, didn't you?"

She giggled. "No way. I got hit by a truck!" The glee with which she related this last sentence was both counterintuitive and quite adorable.

"Perhaps I can clear things up, hmmm?" the demon said as he approached the pair. "By the way, my name's Sargonicus; Hellguardian and total bitch. Pleased to meet you." He held out two paws to each of them for a quadruple-shake.

"Where's Zylth?" Lily asked.

"Oh, you'll meet up with her again later. Probably at Orientation."

"Who's Zylth?" Thanophile naturally asked.

"The nice demon who explained stuff to me when I first died. She told me you'd be along in a little while and gave me some cookies while I waited."

Thanophile blinked. Then he looked at Sargonicus. "...You were saying something about an explanation?"

The demon tittered. "Oh, you mortals! You're so cute when you first get here and I fuck around with your widdle headsy-weadsies!" He rolled his eyes. "Aaaaaanyway, it goes like this. Stop worrying immediately. We're not pissed at you and no one's gonna throw you into a lake of fire. Heck, we *like* perverts down here! And because I can see into your heart and I know you're being truthful about genuinely loving Lily and never doing anything to hurt her, you two have Hell's blessing to stay together until the end of time, yiff each other senseless, and kill each other as many times as you like."

"Yay!!" Lily shouted.

A goofy grin appeared on Thanophile's face. "This can't be real, can it?"

Lily patted his cheek. "Why? Don't you want it to be?"

"Of course I do!" And with that, he finally let his confusion go and focused on the most important thing in front of him: the most wonderful little squirrel in all the world. He hugged Lily tight, rocking her gently and crying happy tears into her shoulder. Her fur was as soft as he remembered, and she still smelled as sweet.

Sargonicus gave them a few moments to enjoy their reunion. He always got sentimental over such things, and was soon crying too. "Oh, you two are just TOO cute together!"

Thanophile broke the hug and held Lily at arm's length just to look at her and cement the fact in his mind that this was real and so was she. "I don't care how any of this is happening, I'm just glad to see you. But how the heck did you die exactly? A truck?"

Lily nodded happily. "Yup! Almost as soon as I got off the bus, I heard this 'ZOOOOMMM!' and I turned around and all I had time to realize was that I must have had a _ton_ of blood in me, 'cause it went _everywhere_!"

"Oh, geez!" He hugged her again. "I hope it didn't hurt too much!" he fretted, kissing her cheek and petting her hair.

"It didn't hurt at all!" she giggled. "It was over too quick. I do hope the poor driver wasn't too traumatized though. I wish I could've told him I totally didn't mind."

"Actually..." Sargonicus stepped in with a wicked smirk, "...we set up the whole thing. Demons can only interact with Earthlings on very rare occasions, but this one was too scrumptiously ironic to pass up!" He knelt beside Lily and patted her on the shoulder. "You see, honey, the man who hit you was a fucking dirtbag sonofabitch who deserved exactly what he got. The man drove drunk practically every day of his life, and was convicted for it twice. Yet he just kept right on chuggin'. So, when we spotted him weaving along, and you standing in the road looking all thoughtful-like, it was too perfect to resist! We gave him a little nudge in your direction and the rest is history. Trust me; that man deserves none of your sympathy and all of the prison sentence he'll eventually get after the cops found your blood splatted all over his fender!"

"You mean he just drove off after hitting me?" Lily asked, incredulous.

"Honey, he thought you were a squirrel." The demon did a double take and giggled. "A nonev, sweetie. You know what I mean."

"What a dick!" Lily said vehemently.

"But that means... You did get to read my letter, right?" Thanophile asked. "You know why I had to just... drop you off like that?"

She nodded and hugged him again. "Uh-huh. And I'm not mad at all. I was a little at first, but you made the right decision and everything worked out in the end."

"Indeed," Sargonicus added, sounding serious for the first time. "The biggest reason we let that truck hit you was because the odds were overwhelming that you'd eventually end up back with your parents and live there in misery into your thirties."

Lily gulped in horror. "No! But I was just about to go to that shelter place!"

Sargonicus shook his head sadly. "Honey, instinct makes us almost always return to whatever we perceive is normal. Even if that normal hurts us terribly."

Thanophile knew that was true. "Well, at least here you're as far away from them as possible, right?"

That drew a grin out of her. "Right!"

Sargonicus grinned too. "Oh, by the way, this'll make you happy. See, time works funny here, so even though it only seems like hours to you, it's already been a few _days_ back on terra firma. It took a while to identify your body, since it was all mangled up 'n nasty, but eventually they did. And your parents are Soooo Pissed at you for making them spend so much on funeral arrangements! I can't even describe!"

Lily laughed out loud. "That's GREAT!!"

"It gets better!" the demon said with glee. "Not only was it a *very* closed casket funeral, so those bastards didn't get the honor of beholding your glamorous little corpse..." Lily giggled bashfully at that, "...but the police turned over 'your' backpack to Mommy and Daddy." He let it drop, letting them figure it out on their own.

"So, wait..." The flash drive! The backup disk!! Lily gasped. "How much did they see!?"

The demon's eyes were dancing with naughty glee. "The disk got crunched to bits-o, but the flash drive was fine as wine. They plugged it in, and when they watched that video of you and Thanny here telling them off, your mom got so furious she actually pissed herself!"

Lily howled with laughter and fell over backwards. Thanophile caught her in time, just barely, since he was chortling almost as hard. "Oh, WOW! I wish I could've seen their reactions!" Lily said.

Sargonicus giggled. "Who says you can't? We got it all on tape!"

"Excellent!!" she exploded.

"I will make popcorn for that," Thanophile added. "And, um, Sargonicus? Just out of curiosity, why do I look like The Nameless Slasher from my story? Not that I don't like it..."

"You look that way because you wanted to look that way," the demon explained. "You're not flesh 'n bone anymore. You two can transform yourselves into any form you desire, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon!" he said theatrically, while making appropriately swishy hand gestures.

"Nifty," Thanophile assessed. But then he looked at Lily. "Wait... So how come you look the same, sweetheart? I thought you wanted to be slimmer and lose your glasses?"

She smiled warmly at him, her buck teeth peeking out cutely. "I didn't change, because I knew you like me this way. And I like me this way too." Lily put her arms around him and squeezed.

Thanophile returned her hug. Tenderly he whispered, "You're beautiful even with horns, my little Lily."


~~~~~


PART TWENTY ONE
~~~~~

Soon after, Sargonicus shuffled them out a side door with a friendly "Toodle-oo!" and a portal made of undulating black jellylike stuff spat them out in a humongous auditorium. The noise level was tremendous. The audience was filled nearly to capacity with other naked newly-dead souls, all of them sporting horns. A bird-demon whose feathers looked like they were made of tree bark showed Lily and Thanophile to their seats. They waited for a little while, looking around at everybody else the way everybody else was doing, and eventually the seats were full and the lights went down.

Bright red velvet curtains parted to reveal a silver screen. Loud, cheerful brassy music exploded out of the sides of the theater, and a grainy retro-style educational film began to play. A handsome sounding voice boomed, "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to HELL!"

Lily guffawed in astonishment.

A sprightly little cartoon devil popped up and explained to everyone the rules of the abyss. For starters, yes, they really were dead and this was not a dream. But everyone should put on a happy face because they'd been sent to the second-best level in all of Hades. The little devil told them about the true history of God, Lucifer and the Fall, then described some of the many fun and naughty adventures that awaited them here. By the time the film was over, Lily was so excited she could barely keep still. This place sounded better than her wildest, yiffiest dreams!

After the house lights went up, a pretty ferret demon with stone hands the size of watermelons told everyone to line up neatly by the exit and prepare to be processed. Neither Lily or Thanophile knew whether that meant they'd be divided into groups, given instructions, or turned into sausages.

The line moved faster than anyone expected. When it was their turn, Zylth; the purple-furred alligator/jaguar Lily had met earlier, explained that they had already been assigned living quarters and that there was only one more little formality to take care of.
"What's that?" Thanophile asked.

"Oh, I just have to rip both your hearts out," she said, trying to make it sound like no big deal.

To no one's surprise, Lily thrust out her chest and said, "Do it!!"

Chuckling, Zylth plucked out the little squirrel's heart with practiced efficiency. Lily shuddered and leaked girlhoney all down her thighs.

Thanophile bravely offered his chest as well, and was totally unprepared for the erotic sensation that followed. He looked at the gaping hole in his chest, then at Lily's. "Groovy!"

Then with a smile and a wave, Zylth bade them enter the portal ahead. Thanophile and Lily held hands and stepped forward into their new destiny.


~~~~~


Neither of them expected to emerge standing on the sidewalk in front of a perfectly maintained two-bedroom house in the middle of suburbia. Red brick, two shrubberies, picture window, TV antenna on the roof. There was even a white picket fence.

"Th' heck?" Thanophile said.

"I think it's ours," said Lily. "Look, it's got our names on the mailbox." And indeed it did.

As the two of them tried to decide whether or not they should just walk right in, a head popped up over the hedge next door. "Oh, hi! New neighbors?" The head belonged to a smiling red panda woman in her thirties who was holding a pair of hedge clippers and was wearing nothing more than a hat and gardening gloves.

That was when Thanophile and Lily remembered that they were naked as well. Right out in the open! They both squeaked and tried to cover themselves.

The panda chuckled. "You ARE new, aren't you? This is Hell! We don't worry about clothes here. Wear 'em if you want, leave 'em if you don't."

The raccoon and squirrel relaxed a little. "So, um... You are?" Thanophile asked.

"Your new neighbor!" she replied with a sunny grin. She extended her paw over the tall greenery. "Tamara Wilcox. I'm happy to be the first to welcome you to Deathville."

Thanophile walked over to shake. Lily had to reach up a little, but was able to as well. "Deathville?" she asked.

"Yup. I take it you two are both necrophiles?" Tamara inquired, as casually as you'd ask someone for a stick of gum.

Thanophile flinched hard for a second, then realized the obvious. "...You are too?"

She nodded without the slightest bit of reluctance. "Mm-hmm. So's my husband and our two boys. In fact, the whole town is!"

Lily's eyes went wide. "Seriously!? That's *awesome*!"

Tamara chuckled. "Take a look around. See if you don't spot some signs."

The street was mostly quiet, since it appeared to be early afternoon in this part of Hell. The day was bright and warm, but the sky overhead was a swirly, ominous grey that seemed to herald doom. Thanophile didn't see anything out of the ordinary at first, until he spotted one house with a gallows where a basketball hoop would normally be. On the road here and there were dark spots that could have been bloodstains. And Lily eagerly pointed out a front lawn that had been decorated with severed heads instead of pink flamingos.

Thanophile turned slowly back to Tamara, barely believing this could all be real. It felt like some kind of surreal cartoon. "So... everybody's like us?"

"Of course! See, where we are is called the Naughty level for a good reason. They do everything possible here to help us feel comfortable with being as yiffy as we want. And in the case of certain fetishes that tend to upset a majority of furs, we get our own separate community. We're not held here; we're free to travel anywhere we like. Just last week, Joseph and I took a trip down to New Nyarlahotep. But this is our home. And it's wonderful knowing we don't have to hide ourselves anymore while we're here."

Lily was overwhelmed. She gave Thanophile's paw a squeeze. "We're gonna be so happy here!"

"I hope so!" Tamara said. "You two make a really cute couple. Nice fur, by the way," she told Thanophile.

He grinned bashfully. "Thanks."

From the side of Tamara's house, a slim, grey-furred mouse with glasses a lot like Lily's emerged wearing only a sky-blue tank top. "Oh, fantastic! New neighbors already? Hi, I'm Joseph. Welcome to th-"

He was cut off quite abruptly when Tamara shoved her hedge clippers deep into the side of his neck. Blood went everywhere.

Both Lily and Thanophile gasped as the sheer suddenness of it. The mouse went down and Tamara pounced on him. The hedge blocked most of the view, but from the sounds and the arterial spray, it was pretty obvious that she was stabbing him at least a dozen more times (and enjoying every one).

Lily and Thanophile glanced at each other, exchanging an 'Is this what living here's always gonna be like?' look.

Then Lily giggled. "Boner," she pointed out.

Thanophile was indeed displaying a fine thigh-high salute. "Heh."

Tamara stood up again with a sharp exhale, sounding like she'd just completed a satisfying workout. She was shiny with sweat and crimson with blood, and had also just very obviously had an orgasm. "Whew! That was fun!" She wiped her forehead with the back of her arm, succeeding only in getting half her face red. She smiled apologetically at her new neighbors. "Couldn't help myself."

"I'm guessing you do that a lot?" Lily ventured.

"All the time! I tend to be the more aggressive one in the relationship, although he has snuck up on me with the piano wire a time or two." She pointed back and forth between the two of them. "Let me guess; you're the killer and she's your victim?"

Thanophile nodded, putting his arm lovingly around Lily. She beamed and proudly said, "Absolutely!"

"Aww, that's cute!" Tamara said. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta drag this big sexy man carcass back inside and 'do stuff' to him, if you know what I mean. I'm sure we'll see each other later after supper."

"Oh?" said Thanophile.

She nodded. "Yep, that'll be about when the whole town comes by to welcome you with a good old-fashioned public execution."

"Execution!" the coon said, alarmed. "What for?"

Tamara looked at him like he wasn't too bright. "Why? Because it's fun! And a good way to get introduced around. We'll all have torches 'n rakes and things. You'll be up in front of everybody with nooses around your necks. We'll all tell you how happy we are to have you here, then it's pull the lever and down you go! I hope you like dangling!"

Lily bounced on her heels with enthusiasm. "Sounds fun!!"

"Afterwards, you'll get a chance to visit our town cemetery," Tamara continued, her voice brimming with civic pride. "It's a great big grassy circular patch right in the middle of downtown. Very pretty. Your tombstones probably showed up there the same time you did. In fact, we all love it so much, at any given time half the city's buried there." She glanced at her watch. "...Including my two boys. And if they don't get themselves dug up and home in time for supper, I'll march down there and exhume them myself!"

Thanophile thought that living next door to this family was going to be extremely interesting. Lily was just amazed at the thought of other kids who were as into death as she was. Maybe she'd finally make some real friends!

From down on the lawn, something gurgled. "Ugghhhh... Honey, did you just stab me with the-"

Tamara was on her knees in an instant, jamming the hedge clippers into her husband half a dozen more times to finish him off properly. "Yes dear, I did." She stood up and grinned at Lily and Thanophile. "You know what they say; you can't keep a good man down!"

Thanophile facepalmed at the awful pun. Lily doubled over laughing.

As Tamara gathered up her beloved mouse's ankles and started dragging him back to the side door, she said seeya-laters to Lily and Thanophile and told them she hoped they'd both be very happy living here. They waved back, then decided to finally find out what was waiting for them inside their new home.


~~~~~


They stepped through the front door and both said simultaneously, "Wowww..."

It was everything a modest fur with a death fetish could want in a home. Great big livingroom. Fireplace. Tall, full bookshelves. A TV twice as wide as Thanophile's old one. Racks of swords on the wall. He and Lily both noticed their possessions from back on Earth were already neatly arranged on the shelves. In the spotless kitchen, they found a fridge full of food and a countertop full of razor-sharp cutlery, plus a complete range of exciting-looking shiny surgical implements. The bathroom medicine cabinet was stocked with every type of poison a pharmacist/murderer could want. Thanophile discovered his own little quiet writing studio (with convenient noose hanging from the ceiling fan in case of writer's block). In the garage, Thanophile's car had been returned to pristine showroom condition. Additionally, all sorts of lethal goodies were waiting for them here. Including three different chainsaws, a guillotine with Lily's name carved above the lunette, a basket of assorted explosives, and a taxidermy workshop in the corner. It was perfection. Everything they could have ever hoped for.

Lily was not surprised to see it there, but when she opened the door to her new bedroom, she still let out a shriek of joy to see her dream coffin waiting for her in place of a bed. Its polished wood gleamed like glass and was surrounded by dozens of flower bouquets. All her old books and toys and clothes were here too (Plus her computer, which she was sure would contain a fully restored hard drive). It was the room she'd always dreamed of.

She turned to Thanophile and leapt into his arms. To his surprise, he caught her easily and had no trouble holding onto her. Her smile radiated total contentment. "It's wonderful. It's even better than the best dream I've ever had! I'm so happy! And I'm even happier that I get to stay in this cool new house with *you*! From now on!" She hugged him around his neck and planted a big kiss on each cheek.

His heart singing in joy, Thanophile turned her head and gave her his own kiss, this time on the lips. Slowly, lovingly, he told her of his happiness without needing a word.

The kiss ended and they looked into each other's eyes, feeling giddy, fresh and effervescent.

"I have a feeling that everything bad is over now, Lily," Thanophile told her softly. "You can finally be as happy as you've always deserved to be."

"_We_ can," she corrected.

Thanophile held her close, tucking her head over his shoulder and patting her on the back. "I love you, Lily."

She nuzzled into his soft fur. "I love you too, Thanophile. More than anything."

And that was when she felt the butcher knife slide in through her back, up into her ribcage.

She could feel her own hot blood pouring out from the wound, sliding down the blade; could hear it dripping on the hall carpet.

She looked up at Thanophile, her eyes sparkling in delight at such a wonderful surprise.

"You're so tricky..." she said. And quietly died.

Thanophile chuckled and kissed her forehead. He withdrew the knife and gave it a lick. He had to shut his eyes and murr at the impeccable flavor. He tossed the knife aside and carried Lily to her bedroom.

Before, he'd been unable to go through with it. But here he had no hesitation. Killing Lily just now was nothing like he'd predicted it would be back in reality. There, it would have been brutal, messy and ultimately devastating. For all the reasons he'd described in his letter, and for the one Sardonicus had shown him. He knew he could never have had his cub and killed her too. Not while he was alive. But now, here, in this place where nothing was forever and pain was nearly nonexistent, he wasn't just holding a corpse in his arms; merely an inanimate hunk of meat. He could feel Lily's spirit inside. Silent now, but ready to wake up at any time for more hugs and cuddles and laughter and love. This had always been his true fantasy, one he'd never imagined possible until now. Snuff with no harm. Death that never had to be permanent. Here in the realm of the impossible.

He took Lily into her bedroom, carrying her like a bride on her honeymoon. He knelt down and laid her body on the soft carpet beside her coffin. He took a moment just to soak up her beauty. Still as ice, warm as toast. Her fur shimmering as the light touched it. Her mouth still open in the most adorable expression of surprise.

"Happy, my little angel?" he whispered.

'I can't imagine being happier,' came a reply inside his mind.

"Telepathy too?" he asked, surprised.

'Why not? After all, little dead squirrels can't talk!' followed by a ghostly giggle.

Thanophile chuckled and tickled her tummy, loving how he could hear her laughter but her beautiful body remained inert.

He turned to the coffin and lifted the lid, intending to slip Lily inside for a pleasant afternoon nap while he sat by her side and simply enjoyed watching her sleep.

But it turned out the coffin was already occupied.

Inside was a shoe box that was still smudged with dirt in a few places. Not realizing the significance at first, Thanophile picked it up, dusted it off and opened it.

Inside, lying on a bed of easter grass, was a little fox with fur the colors of vanilla ice cream and raspberry sherbert. He grinned, understanding now.

He lifted Lily up and laid her down gently on the pink silk, then tucked her favorite plushie beneath her arm.

Even though she was supposed to be dead, she couldn't resist a smile.



The End
...for now





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AUTHOR'S NOTES:

I never intended to write this one, but my muse knows better than me, and it can be one persistent mofo when it wants.

Lying in bed night after night, masturbating merrily away, my brain conjures all sorts of worlds and characters and scenarios that will never become written stories. Maybe there's nothing to them that could be turned into a linear plot. Maybe there's not enough internal logic. Maybe the characters are too similar to others I've created. Maybe the subject matter is simply too extreme to present to an audience. (Think I'm exaggeratin'?)

But one night I started thinking about a sweet, pudgy little squirrel girl who got off on imagining her own funeral, and about the internet friend she finds to help her make her dream come true. I fell in love with Lily. She charmed me from the start. I came in my hand and I thought that was the end of it. Yet my mind kept returning to her over the next few days. I didn't think there was enough there to base a story on however, even though her character, and Thanophile's, grew more clearly defined every time I thought about them. Eventually though, it got to the point where I could imagine whole conversations between them, for hours, and would completely forget to jerk off! That's when I finally got the message that my muse would not let me alone until I told their story.

I've never been more hesitant when starting a project. Even after exploring my garbage fetish in Down In The Dumps, and doing the hardest hard vore scene I've ever written in All You Can Eat, I still thought this story might make people cringe. Death is simply not a subject a lot of people find sexy. Yet when I finally told a friend about it, his immediate reaction was, 'I want to read that.' Other people expressed similar interest. So, I kept writing. For the most part, this story is set more firmly in reality than my others. I wanted the reader to feel like they had something in common with Lily. And what's more universal these days than meeting a friend on the internet? Like with a lot of my works, I wanted to present an unpopular fetish in a way that says, 'You don't have to like it, I only ask that you try to empathize with those who do'. Even though I don't agree with everything Lily & Thanophile say in the video they make together (their statements are a bit too broad, but I believe in letting my characters say and do whatever's true to their own nature, not necessarily mine), I do think that there's a very strong possibility that ALL of us are perverts on the inside. And that means it's pure foolishness for us to squabble over individual wanking preferences. Picture a million pots and a million kettles, all yapping endlessly about shades of black. That's what kinkbashing looks like to me.

Overall though, I love Lily and Thanophile, just like all my other characters. And the biggest reason I wrote this was to see them happy.

Enormous thanks go to Wolfblade, who I discussed this with over the phone in its very early stages and he had the guts to tell me the original too-simple ending just didn't work. And he was right. I wasn't even sure about it myself. With his help, I changed it, and it made the story about a billion times better. Thank you, Wuffy. :)

Thanks of equal enormousness go to my ever-faithful editor, Alfador. I hope he will not mind me relating that, when I first sent this to him, he sent me a quick reply a short time later, telling me he hadn't done any proofreading yet because he'd been pawing off continuously through the whole thing and his hands were too sticky to use the keyboard! Can you possibly think of higher praise for a porn writer!? I was tickled pink, and still am.

P.S. It took me _months_ to decide on a title for this one. Alfador and I went through dozens. I was originally going to call it "I Love You To Death", but then I remembered that's the name of a Kevin Kline movie. I very nearly went with Alf's suggestion of "I'll Be There When Your Heart Stops Beating", until I found out that's a song title and that the song itself makes me cringe. Something about 'heart' stuck with me though, and a week or so later it just came to me. Further proof that you always find what you're looking for when you finally stop trying.

P.P.S. If this were animated, I'd totally want John Waters to do Sargonicus' voice.



"Love Me Till My Heart Stops"
Started 11/27/07, Finished 12/31/07 (which just happens to be my birthday. Woohoo!)

