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Check the oil. Kick the tires.\n\nToby is going on an adventuresome jaunt across an eldritch hellscape of unfathomable grotesqueries. A quest for home, or maybe just for self-respect. There will be airplanes, bathtubs, birds, and convorines. He is with his friends. He will be safe if he follows the rules.\n\nKeep quiet in Lumbago. Don't touch anything in Marasmus. No sissies in Rhonolith. And Dysphoria... Well. You'd have to be insane to go in there.\n[/i]\n\nFEATURING THE VOICES OF:\nToby – Aaron Taylor-Johnson\nJunella – Cree Summer\nZinc – Christian Slater\nPiffle – Stevie Vallance\nDoll - ...\nGeorge – Markiplier\nLock - Robert Rourke\nTuro - Christopher Lewis\nGingerale - Arthur Payne\n\n\n\n---\nIf you'd like to recommend this story to non-furries, or people in general who might be squeamish about a 'cub site' like Inkbunny, please send them to my stories page on\n[iconname]Relee[/iconname]'s website: http://alexreynard.electricsquirrel.net\n\nOr would you prefer PDF? https://www.dropbox.com/s/ew9f9u8k5jlaxst/Phobiopolis%20-%20Book%20Three.pdf?dl=0", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Pack some snacks. Check the oil. Kick the tires.

Toby is going on an adventuresome jaunt across an eldritch hellscape of unfathomable grotesqueries. A quest for home, or maybe just for self-respect. There will be airplanes, bathtubs, birds, and convorines. He is with his friends. He will be safe if he follows the rules.

Keep quiet in Lumbago. Don't touch anything in Marasmus. No sissies in Rhonolith. And Dysphoria... Well. You'd have to be insane to go in there.


FEATURING THE VOICES OF:
Toby  – Aaron Taylor-Johnson
Junella – Cree Summer
Zinc – Christian Slater
Piffle – Stevie Vallance
Doll - ...
George – Markiplier
Lock - Robert Rourke
Turo - Christopher Lewis
Gingerale - Arthur Payne



---
If you'd like to recommend this story to non-furries, or people in general who might be squeamish about a 'cub site' like Inkbunny, please send them to my stories page on
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\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tRelee\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t		\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tRelee\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
's website: http://alexreynard.electricsquirrel.net

Or would you prefer PDF? https://www.dropbox.com/s/ew9f9u8k5jlaxst/Phobiopolis%2...", "writing": "Alex Reynard\npresents\n\n[b]~~P~H~O~B~I~O~P~O~L~I~S~~[/b]\n\nDream III: Long Dark Road\n\n\n\n\n\t[i]They say the greatest coward can hurt the most ferociously[/i]\n\t\t\t-Eurythmics, \"Miracle Of Love\"\n\n\n\n\n\n-***-\n\n[b]PART FIFTY[/b]\n\n\nThey began walking.\n\nThe base of Ectopia Cordis is wide enough that any attempt to circumnavigate it on foot will likely take the better part of a day. Thankfully, they had George. Even better, soon after heading off, they came across another parking attendant who was a tremendous help. He not only gave them directions to RB&WB's garage (on the opposite side of the citybase, unfortunately), but also rented them a four-seat wagon that George could pull.\n\nConsidering there might still be Ectopians around with vendettas against them, the quintet camouflaged themselves as best they could. Toby suggested George could grow a coat of flesh. George was not keen on the idea, and neither were the others once they saw the results. He looked like a walking catalog of skin diseases. Still, he no longer resembled a bonecuddy. The others shaded themselves beneath the biggest beach umbrella they could buy. Then they set off through the crowd, attracting no more attention than any of the other hundreds of pedestrians.\n\nToby had forgotten how expansive the parking lot was. It was a grey desert stretching out to the horizon. From this close to the city, he literally couldn't see the edge of it. As George walked on and he gradually let the tension leave his shoulders, Toby realized this was just what he needed. He'd said in the lounge how he was wishing for some cooldown time. This was it. He sat beside Junella while Piffle leaned contentedly on Zinc. None of them talked much. It would have been hard to anyway, over the omnipresent murmur of the crowd. The five friends recognized that this was an opportunity. A last calm moment before heading out on the road again.\n\nToby was content to just people-watch and let his mind wander. He saw families with kids. His heart nagged him some more. 'It's not too late. You could go back now, find that adoption center. Go back to a life of safe, consistent, boring normalcy!'\n\nHe rested his head in his hands and drew his tail around himself. The thought was agonizingly seductive. Worse, it was followed by his inner voice asking, 'What does it matter? If you reach Anasarca, you'd just be headed back to your old life anyway. You could save so much time and effort...'\n\nHe couldn't say why he needed to keep going. Not logically, anyway. Maybe he just felt swept along by the current. Events had been set in motion and now he had to ride them out. But what he'd said earlier was true too. He didn't want to leave his friends. Even if the rest of the trip threw constant misery and horror at him, could it be worse than the slow death of loneliness?\n\nHe thought back to his days in the cave. Nothing had actually attacked him there. Aside from jumping at shadows and thunder, not much of anything had happened, really. He had been safe. And it had been a living hell. There were parts of this trip he never wanted to relive, but each time he'd mulled them over, he found that the first example his memory supplied was always the cave.\n\nFor all the stress and chaos he'd been through on his journey, there was something inexpressibly enriching about it. Just having someone nearby to talk to, to touch, was wonderful in a way his earlier self had wholly forgotten. And there was the sheer exhilaration of uncertainty too. To not know what tomorrow would be. To taste foods his tongue had never known. To sleep in different beds. To dazzle his eyes with sights beyond his imagination.\n\nHe loved his books, but there was a limit to the pleasures he could experience through them. There was something unique about [i]being there.[/i]\n\nHe dwelt on that pleasant thought for a moment.\n\nBut then thought of a qualifier. 'Not just that,' he realized, 'being there [i]together.'[/i]\n\nHe took a moment just to look at each of his friends' faces.\n\nThen he looked off to the horizon. The tip of Aldridge's mountain was just barely visible beyond the clouds.\n\n\n***\n\n\nThey could tell it was coming before it came into view, just from the crowd's rising volume.\n\nUp ahead, the milieu was different than the usual background chatter. Buzzing voices from walkie-talkies. The gush of firehoses. Sounds of heavy machinery carving into mortar and metal. And an undulating chorus of weeping.\n\nNone of them wanted to see this, but it seemed they were fated to.\n\nSoon enough, as George kept on, Gyre 2 came into view.\n\nToby had forgotten its scale. The sheer enormity. Every spoke on that wheel had once held twelve apartments, and Gyre 2 had forty spokes. He tried to do the math in his head. How many tenants did that add up to? He couldn't handle the number.\n\nNow the wheel was nothing but a smoldering bent corpse. EC work crews swarmed the site like ants. Spinning orange lights formed a perimeter. Rubble was strewn for miles. Hundreds of people were here. Some were gawking or taking photos, some were waiting for loved ones to be rescued. Workers were jackhammering away to free those still trapped inside. Sometimes they'd pull a battered, blood-soaked furson out and walk them shakily down to the ground. Toby saw a few reunions. But it would take time to carve all the way down to those in the lowest apartments. And how many people had been sitting here in the parking lot when the sky fell down upon them?\n\nThere was a desk with a long line of people behind it and a sign above: 'CAR CLAIM'. Toby thought about the Fearsleigher, how much work Zinc and Junella had put into it. Everyone in that line had likely built their own vehicles from scratch, or worked hard to fill a willwell to pay for one. How many cars had been destroyed when the wheel was dropped? Toby looked down the line, seeing people's rage, frustration, and helplessness.\n\nAt first he tried not to let guilt stab too deeply into his heart. He reminded himself of what he and his friends had said at the trial. All this loss was squarely on the shoulders of... whatever-his-name-was. Cleanup Crew. The muskrat had set events in motion. He chose to involve Toby and his friends, not the other way around. And their solution to stopping Gyre 2 might not have been the best, but it was the best they could have accomplished in what little time they had.\n\nStill, their choice had been to involve themselves. There were people trapped beneath that wheel right now, and it had been his little groups' actions that put them there.\n\n'[u]My[/u] choice, really. Junella wanted us to just leave.'\n\nSo Toby took a long, deep breath and let the guilt come. For a while at least. It wanted in anyway. Why hold it back? All the rational counterarguments in the world couldn't shoo it off anyway. The emotion was insistent. It wanted into his heart so it could gnaw and tear. 'Just feel it, and let it pass,' Toby told himself.\n\nAll five of them were silent. They kept their eyes on the Gyre as George walked them past it. They had done a good thing, they had received praise, and now witnessing the aftermath was the accompanying penance.\n\n'That's something else they don't show in superhero stories,' Toby thought. 'The good guys and bad guys fight, tear up half the city, and they usually don't show the day after. The rescue workers and construction crews. They'll show the really cool part with the parked cars exploding, but they don't show the furson who owned one, and how now they can't get to work.'\n\nToby's mouth tasted bitter.\n\nAnd then, near the edge of the crowd, someone shouted, \"Is that them?\"\n\nToby sprang to alertness. Were they going to get chased again!?\n\nHe looked around and saw who'd spoken. Someone was pointing, then three furs got up from the car hood they'd been sitting on and ran over. It was a couple of male mice (from their body language it was clear that 'couple' was the right word) and a lady reindeer. The mice both had extensive facial piercings, and each one's placement mirrored the other's. The reindeer had bright green plastic suspenders. All three furs were streaked with soot and sweat, and looked tired.\n\n\"You're them, aren't you? We saw you on TV,\" one of the mice called out as he got close.\n\n\"Your horse looks different. That a disguise?\" the other asked.\n\nToby and the others looked at each other warily, not sure if they should admit anything or not. This trio didn't seem angry, but it was clear from their appearance that Gyre 2 had affected them.\n\nThe mice and doe looked expectantly at the fivesome.\n\nJunella elected to speak, \"[i]If you're asking if we're the ones responsible for that-[/i]\" she pointed to the wheel, \"[i]-there's no use denying it.[/i]\"\n\nThe trio smiled in relief. One mouse, a piebald, took his partner's hand and made introductions. \"This is Turo, I'm Lock. That's our roommate, Gingerale.\"\n\n\"Hi,\" the reindeer said. She looked too dazed to add much else.\n\n\"We were in Gyre 2 when it fell,\" Lock continued.\n\nToby and his friends all flinched.\n\nPiffle was the first to respond. \"We're so sorry!\"\n\n\"Don't be,\" Turo said immediately. \"Tumbling around in there, smashing into our furniture, dying endlessly... I can't remember anything worse we've ever been through.\"\n\nLock patted his partner's cheek and finished the thought. \"...But we would've been in there longer if it hadn't been for you. Thank you.\"\n\n\"Thank you,\" Gingerale repeated.\n\nTuro actually bowed.\n\nThe quintet were all a bit stunned.\n\nLock went on. \"We got out a few hours ago, but we've been here in the parking lot since. Just... wandering and watching. I guess we're shellshocked.\" The other two nodded. \"We're trying to help however we can. There's not much we can do, but, speaking for myself, I'm not ready to go back up and see how bad everything's messed up. Seeing our building like this is already too much to process.\"\n\nPiffle kneaded her paws. \"I understand.\"\n\nGingerale chewed her lip. \"So... did you come by to see the wreckage?\"\n\n\"No, uh... Actually we were skippin' town,\" Zinc admitted, ears drooping.\n\n\"That's probably smart,\" Lock reassured. \"We've heard other people talking. Not everyone feels like us. Some of them would happily skin you for trophies right now.\"\n\nToby blanched.\n\n\"You guys go on. We just wanted to say thanks.\"\n\n\"And, like, is there anything we could do to show some gratitude?\" Turo offered.\n\nZinc's eyebrows went so far up they nearly fell off. \"Geez, kid! You don't owe us anything! Hell, you lost your home. Thanks a million, but it's allright.\"\n\nLock chuckled. \"Thought so. And don't worry about us. We made it to Fifty-Two in the first place, right? Finding a new place isn't gonna be difficult. We'll imaginite up all our old stuff. Probly donate a good chunk to fix up the neighborhood nice again too.\"\n\n\"Good luck then, all of you,\" Piffle said warmly. She reached out her arms for a hug, and Gingerale happily accepted.\n\nThe mice came forward too and handshakes were exchanged all around. Gingerale even bumped hooves with George.\n\nThe moment had felt unreal to Toby until then, but he was powerfully moved at feeling warm paws holding his own. Looking into their eyes. These were real people. People who were thanking him for what he and his friends had done.\n\n\"You guys get going,\" Lock urged. \"Before someone else sees you and starts throwing bricks.\"\n\n\"[i]Good suggestion.[/i]\" Junella said. She patted George's neck. \"[i]Come on.[/i]\"\n\nLock, Turo, and Gingerale waved goodbye as the five travelers departed.\n\nToby looked back and forth between them and the Gyre, and felt some of his inner conflict unclench.\n\n\n***\n\n\nThey continued on in silence. Gyre 2 was behind them. The city's background noise faded into a hypnotic hum. Piffle managed to fall asleep back-to-back with Zinc.\n\nThen he jolted her awake as he suddenly sproinged up. His wrenchhands gripped the sides of the cart in anticipation. His tail began to wag.\n\nHe had seen the word 'garage' up ahead.\n\nPiffle rubbed her eyes and antennae. \"...Whuzzit?\"\n\n\"I know we had kind of a solemn moment back there,\" Zinc said to everyone, \"so I hope I'm not painting myself as an insensitive clod to point out that...\" He became too verklempt to say anything more than, \"...TH' [b]CAR!!![/b]\"\n\nJunella looked over and chuckled. \"[i]No one's gonna bitch about you getting excited, partner. Look at you. You're like a puppy waiting on his kibble.[/i]\"\n\nThe mutt bounced up and down in his seat. \"Sounds about right. I can't wait for you guys to see it! I told the mechanic he could put some of his own flair on it and surprise me.\" He bit his lip. \"My baby's gonna be all grown up now!!\"\n\nPiffle giggled and turned herself around to squeeze him. \"Thanks for being a good pillow.\"\n\n\"Pleasure's all mine, toots.\" He was a bit too excited about the car to notice, but something in her gaze had changed since the day before.\n\nThe outside wall of Ectopia Cordis is set up very much like a strip mall. Wherever there aren't entrances, there are stores. Food carts, souvenir stands, phone booths, armories, imaginite-to-luxybux exchange stations, arcades, even pet shops. To accommodate as many as possible, most of these establishments are tiny, all crammed in beside each other like cereal boxes. But standing apart from the rest was the towering marble columns and gold-plated ivy of Rippingbean & Woofingbutter's Autoparadise. A vast, open showroom where curvy hot rods and bristling safari trucks rotated on raised platforms like gladiators before battle.\n\nZinc whined with lustful desire when he caught his first glimpse of the new and improved Fearsleigher. He vaulted out of the cart, elbowing a few customers by accident, and ran over to start drooling.\n\nThe canine stood, panting hard, enraptured to the point of paralysis.\n\n\"Oh, baby. They treated you [i]good.[/i]..\"\n\nAnother parking attendant was on hand to take the cart. George unhitched himself and joined the others beside Zinc. Toby stopped dead in his tracks when he finally saw their new beast. 'Holy heck! Maybe I'm actually gonna be safe on this trip after all!'\n\nWhen he'd left the Fearsleigher three days ago, it had been mostly-silver and mostly-rumpled. Now it looked like a towering fusion of style and threat. The hood had been extended several feet by welding on the front end from a mid-fifties cruiser. The headlights looked like gleaming, sightless frog's eyes. The grille was an endless expanse of chrome fangs. Below it hung two overpowered-looking machine guns, the kind with the polka-dot perforated barrels. And below [i]them[/i] were two bayonets as big as elephant tusks. This new face had been seamlessly integrated into the original military-transport shell. Two killer fins jutted out from the back as well, with taillights like red lipstick tips.\n\nAll over it was black. Flowing, shimmering obsidian. With guest appearances by mouthwatering chrome, milky white pinstriping, and halloween-orange flames airbrushed so vividly they almost seemed to radiate heat. And the name on the side was spelled correctly!\n\nThe armaments were upgraded as well. The spikes along the sides were bigger, and curved in various directions. At the heart of each was an impaled plushie. Toby remembered Junella saying how their love energy warded off nightmares. But for uglies that didn't get the message, there were the aforementioned twin ratatats and pig-stickers, plus a painful-looking nail-studded snowplow which currently adorned the roof, creating a V-shaped shield for the other new addition: that gorgeous brass gatling gun. To make room for it up top, the harpoon turret was now mounted on a triangular platform jutting out from the back bumper. Toby noticed the brass gun had been further customized with the addition of about four extra handles. He couldn't fathom why.\n\nThe giant-size ice skates were attached differently as well. No longer was the chassis welded directly onto them. The body of the car now sat on a rotating mount with the skates emerging from a separate section below. The advantage in steering seemed immediately obvious.\n\nZinc finally snapped out of his trance and ran over to throw his arms around the right skate, smearing sloppy kisses all over the metal. \"She's BEAUTIFUL! She's STUPENDOUS! Somebody stop my heart from goin' Nagasaki!\" Just as abruptly, he spun away and piledrived Piffle in an equally passionate embrace. \"Oh THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for bankrollin' her!!\"\n\nThe hamsterfly cooed happily and kissed his cheek. \"Making you this happy was worth every nickel!\"\n\n\"Oh I am, babycakes! I am! You can't even be[u]lieve[/u]!\" He swept his arms towards the car (nearly knocking over Toby) \"This is my best Christmas morning ever!\"\n\nBecause the temptation was impossible to resist, Zinc started babbling about all the modifications. \"We got all-new, all-hog leather interior. Stuff'll damn near stop a bullet. We got new shocks, new windows, new cup holders. We got state-of-the-art Himmelman 500 headlamps on this bad mama. So-named because that's the degrees Fahrenheit they can output on anything stupid enough to stand in our way. I talked with Andy a long time about maybe slappin' an engine up inside to take the workload off George.\" The stallion looked noticeably crestfallen at the idea. \"We shot the shit back and forth over whether we oughtta go with internal combustion or a Cyrus Tear, and we did 'ventually use a small Tear for something else, but it was Junella who had the idea on how to keep our beast running on good ol' American horsepower.\"\n\n\"I don't believe I qualify as American,\" George pointed out.\n\n\"[i]Don't spoil his rhythm,[/i]\" Junella whispered. \"[i]There's nothing little pups love more than showing off their toys.[/i]\"\n\nThis was true. \"Now up top you'll see that sexy, deadly, honey-colored six-shooter we bought...\"\nZinc went on like this for quite a while. Until something peeked out from the backseat window. Something small and brown.\n\nJunella drew her cutlass. \"[i]Zinc, there's a varmint in the car![/i]\"\n\n\"What!?\"\n\nBut Piffle knew exactly what it was. She spread her wings and zoomed up to the door.\n\n\"Hello?\"\n\nA little burlap head popped up.\n\nPiffle flung open the door and divebombed in. \"Oh, [i]DOLL[/i]! It[i] is [/i]you!!\" She hugged and squoze the little plastic toy until they both nearly burst. \"I'm so sorry we left you in here all this time! And look at you! Look how smart you are! Let's go show everyone your new trick!\"\n\nThe overjoyed hamsterfly jumped out from the backseat and held up what looked like a baggy brown ghost. \"Looky, guys! Doll figgered out how to move!\"\n\nAn arm-shaped lump waved to them.\n\nJunella remembered the parameters of Doll's curse: motionless while being observed. But now that she'd found a bulky bag to slip into, no part of her anatomy was visible. \"[i]I gotta admit, that's clever. And I think she might actually be less creepy this way. She jus' looks like a wobbly potato.[/i]\"\n\nToby had a moment of confusion, until it was swallowed by overwhelming embarrassment as he realized he'd forgotten all about their plastic companion. She'd been waiting in the car this whole time! It'd been days!! The poor girl! And he was supposed to be responsible for taking care of her! Toby's cheeks burned. He felt like a heel.\n\nZinc had a spark of recognition when he saw the burlap. \"Oh, hey! I dunno how it ended up in the Fearsleigher, but remember it, Juney? That's the sack we kept Sulilong's big stupid head in!\"\n\n\"[i]Oh, right!![/i]\" She cackled. \"[i]I got a kick out of listenin' to him in the back of the Killcanoe, rolling around and swearing the whole fuckin' time![/i]\"\n\nToby gave them a quizzical look.\n\n\"[i]Old bounty of ours.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle hopped down daintily, bringing Doll over to Toby. They cuddled her between them. \"I'm really sorry we made you wait on us so long,\" Toby said. \"At least we can tell you a good story about why.\"\n\nPiffle nodded. \"Yup! We got nicked by the pigs for disturbin' the peace! But it was all for a good cause though, don't you worry!\"\n\nDoll's head turned back and forth as she listened, still silent as ever. But then from under the sack came a scribbling sound.\n\n\"Oh right, you gave her a notepad,\" Toby remembered.\n\nThey were patient as Doll wrote. In the background, Toby could see another of those cat guys: the miniature clones that had been running the automotive department upstairs. There were plenty of him running around the garage too. This one seemed to be the original, since he was twice as tall as the rest. His nametag marked him as Andy. He and Zinc started talking about the car, with the canine making lots of exuberant gestures to express his satisfaction. Several customers had to duck out of the way of his wrenches, lest they get uppercutted into next week.\n\nFinally, a slip of paper appeared from the bottom of Doll's bag. Piffle plucked it and read aloud. The handwriting wasn't the best (as Doll had been writing in the dark), but it was legible.\n\n\"I hAD A GooD rest. I hoPe no1 MInDs Me usInG the BAG. I Cant see WeLL but I Can MoVe soMe noW. GooD 2 Be toGether.\"\n\n\"And it's wonderful to see you too,\" Piffle said.\n\nToby patted Doll's head. \"We won't leave you alone again.\"\n\nShe reached out, indicating she wanted to hug them both. They held her between them.\n\nDoll had been polite and casual about her isolation, but Toby thought he felt her true feelings emerge in that hug. Enormous relief.\n\n\n***\n\n\nThe new seats of the Fearsleigher took some getting used to. The leather had come from the hog-like nightmares that patrolled the city's garbage, so it was stiff and thick. Almost like sitting on steak.\n\nThe car was still in park. Toby sat sideways in the front passenger seat with the door open, legs dangling off the side. Junella and Piffle were side-by-side, lounging on the hood, waiting for Zinc and Andy to finish talking shop. Doll was currently cuddled up in Piffle's cozy lap. And Junella must have been in a good mood since she hadn't said a word so far about Doll's proximity.\n\nZinc shook Andy's hand (carefully). \"I can't thank you enough. She's so souped up, we might reach the mountain by tomorrow.\"\n\nThe mechanic chuckled. \"I should be thanking you for letting me work on her! These scratchbuilt jobs're usually a pain in the tail, but you put her together simple and solid. Cooperative as can be. I hate to say it, but I almost hope you get banged up on the way back so you'll have reason to bring her here again!\"\n\nThe canine and feline laughed. \"You have my word,\" Zinc assured. \"Though if my aim is true, I won't let her get so much as a ding.\"\n\n\"Awww,\" Andy mock-pouted. Toby had noticed that whenever the cat talked, all the other miniatures nearby would move their lips in unison with him. It was kind of spooky.\n\nThe cat and mutt parted ways and Zinc clapped his wrenches together. \"Allright, go-cats! Deal's done and we're almost ready to vamoose. I didn't forget about grabbing us a last hot lunch. How 'bout that taco place we passed? The one with the guy in the jalapeno costume?\"\n\nJunella wrinkled her nose. \"[i]I remember saying 'not too spicy'.[/i]\"\n\n\"Chill, Lucille. I'll bring back somethin' nice for ya.\"\n\n\"I don't know what I want,\" Toby spoke up.\n\n\"I'll just get a bit of this'n'that.\" Zinc held up the roll of Luxybux. \"Gonna be a long time before we have another opportunity to spend these.\"\n\nAfter he exited, Junella bunched up her scarf behind her head and leaned back against the windshield, savoring these last few moments of calm before they'd head out into the suck.\n\n\"What's our plan once we get the ol' jalopy rollin'?\" Piffle asked.\n\nJunella cocked an eyebrow. \"[i]Weren't you paying attention when I showed Toby the map? No, wait. You weren't there. Forgot.[/i]\" She grumbled a bit, but rolled over on her side so she could gesture with her finger along an imaginary route. \"[i]Just don't laugh at me if I can't pronounce half these damn complicated names.[/i]\"\n\n\"I'd never,\" Piffle assured.\n\nGeorge leaned in to listen, wanting to make sure he correctly recalled everything she'd said back in Scrofula. Toby listened too, since he'd forgotten every word of it.\n\n\"[i]We're here,[/i]\" Junella started, pointing at the wiper fluid nozzle. \"[i]The quickest shot to the mountain's not exactly the safest, so we'll be going long for Toby's sake. And honestly, mine too. After all the bullshit we waded through here, the more road stress I can avoid, the better.[/i]\n\n\"[i]Directly from the parking lot we'll be on the main highway. The whole thing's one giant nightmare. Alive, but barely mobile.[/i]\"\n\n\"Like a coral reef?\" Toby asked.\n\n[i]\"That's just about dead on,[/i]\" she said, nodding to the mouse. He felt pleased. \"[i]Doesn't mean it's harmless though. It doesn't like people driving on it, so it reacts like anyone else when they feel a bug on their skin. It'll send out bucketloads of minor constructs to swat us. But the car'll handle 'em. The highway's a breeze if you keep up your defenses and keep moving. Should almost be fun, if you like roller coasters.[/i]\"\n\nToby winced. \"What if I don't?\"\n\n\"[i]Then try not to ralph on the seats,[/i]\" she said with a blithe smile.\n\nToby made a note to keep several baggies on hand.\n\n\"What next?\" Piffle asked. She'd gotten herself rotated so she was lying on her tummy with her legs kicking back and forth. Doll was seated between her wings.\n\n\"[i]From the highway, we end up at the river bridge. It's the simplest part of the journey: stay in the car and wait. The bridge'll take us to Lumbago. It's a hole. Literally. Big damn canyon with rope bridges all across. The vertigo'd be bad enough without all the biteranodons.[/i]\"\n\n\"I ate some of those!\" Piffle remembered.\n\n\"[i]And now they'll wanna eat [/i][u][i]you[/i][/u][i],[/i]\" Junella replied, pointing a finger. Then she motioned with it along the hood: the car traveling an invisible route. \"[i]Assuming we get across, we've gotta zip through a blast furnace called Fistula. After, if we're lucky, we'll run across Gilla-Gilla somewhere in the flesh forest[/i].\"\n\n\"What happens if we're not lucky?\" Piffle asked.\n\n\"[i]Then we get to sleep outside and be woken up every five seconds by constructs,[/i]\" she replied matter-of-factly. \"[i]Gilla's an old colleague and he's got his own place. Plus he's got paranoia down to an art. His shack's the safest place in the world next to Coryza.[/i]\n\n\"[i]We'll mooch some rest and breakfast off him, then it's on to...[/i]\" She stuttered a bit, having to piece together syllables to make a word that was definitely nowhere in her lyrics, \"[i]...Drapetomania. The humidity there's bad enough to make you wish for death. Also, cacti that grow like tentacles. And they'll lunge at you. Though when you crack 'em open they make a damn fine soup.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle licked her lips.\n\n\"[i]Oh and don't forget the huge invisible bees! Bet you can't guess how fun [/i][u][i]they[/i][/u][i] are! Next up...[/i]\" Another difficult word. \"[i]...Borborygmus. More desert, but drier. Almost smooth sailing if it wasn't for the Okononos.[/i]\"\n\n\"The Okononos?\"\n\n\"[i]Six-foot-tall, pink-as-hell bunnyrabbits.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle grinned at the thought. \"That doesn't sound so bad!\"\n\nJunella sneered in revulsion. \"[i]They're the biggest bunch of disgusting rapists imaginable. You do NOT want to get caught by them.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle looked quite startled. Then she blushed. \"I'm sure that would be just terrible,\" she said unconvincingly.\n\nJunella narrowed her eyes. \"[i]Suit yourself. You are dressed for bait after all. If we can toss you to 'em like meat to wild dogs, and it gets 'em to stay as far the fuck as possible away from [/i][u][i]me[/i][/u][i], I'm good with that.[/i]\"\n\n\"Then we agree!\" Piffle said with a sunny smile.\n\nJunella needed a moment to not say all the things it occurred to her to say then.\n\n\"So after the valley of the naughty rabbits, what then?\"\n\nJunella tried to remember that far out. It'd been a while. \"[i]Then there's a vomit swamp. We'll want the windows rolled up tight. Might run into cops, might not. That leads to Rhinolith, where we might be able to snag a bedtime before the maze.\" She[/i] sighed, all humor leaving her face. [i]\"I'm sure with George we'll sail right through, but it's one of the places easiest to get lost in. The walls are covered in writing, and if you read [/i][u][i]one word[/i][/u][i], you'll have to read another. And another. Forever.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle shuddered. She certainly didn't mind new experiences, but her zeal for them was within reason.\n\nJunella gestured with her hand, indicating a great big empty area. \"[i]Then... Dysphoria. Ain't nothing I can say will prepare you for it. It's not a place you ever want to go back to. It gets in your head. You can't trust your perceptions. It's...[/i]\" She threw up her hands. \"[i]It's every nightmare you've ever had. All at once. No better way to put it than that.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle tried to stay hopeful. \"But after that's the mountain, right?\"\n\nJunella nodded. \"[i]Yeah. Supposedly it's an easy climb. They say.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle rolled over onto her back, scooping Doll into her arms as she did so. She needed something to hug. \"And then we'll meet Aldridge and Toby can go home,\" she said resolutely.\n\nToby sighed. \"It still kinda weighs on my conscience that you guys are doing all this for me.\"\n\n\"[i]Well it ain't 'cause of my naturally altruistic demeanor,[/i]\" Junella reminded him. She reached out to pat George's muzzle. \"[i]You promised me a hell of a payment.[/i]\"\n\nHe whinnied, proud of his value.\n\n\"[i]Plus...[/i]\" She debated for a moment telling them this. \"...s[i]upposedly, if Aldridge is in a good mood, he's been known to hand out favors.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle sat up. \"Could he fix Doll?\" she asked immediately.\n\n\"[i]Maybe,[/i]\" the skunk acknowledged. Piffle started to bounce with glee and Junella restrained her shoulder. \"[i]Calm down, Little Miss Lollipop. I don't wanna get your hopes up. There is not a lot of recent intel on the man. We're going off what we know from events that happened before any of us were born. Fairy tales. For all anyone knows he could be dead up there. Or maybe he went back to [/i][u][i]his[/i][/u][i] home.[/i]\"\n\nToby felt his heart drop through his stomach. \"So it's possible that we could do all that work, go through all that awfulness... for nothing?\"\n\nShe leaned over on her elbow, making direct eye contact. \"[i]Yes. It's possible,[/i]\" she said in her most sincere, 'no bullshit' tone.\n\nHe looked out across empty space. \"I hadn't realized that. I thought Aldridge was a certainty.\"\n\n\"[i]He probably is,[/i]\" Junella replied. \"[i]We're not talkin' 50/50 here. This was a guy with the powers of God, who stuck around through all the worst eras this world ever saw. I can't think of anything that'd kill him or make him give up. But nothing's ever certain, mouse. Swallow that pill now and get it over with.[/i]\"\n\nToby gulped.\n\nPiffle tossed a smile his way. \"If nuttin' else, if we get to the top and see a 'gone fishing' sign, I'm sure the view from up there'll be spectacular!\"\n\nThe mouse couldn't help but smile. \"Piffle, you are just optimism incarnate.\"\n\nShe was quite pleased at that.\n\nJunella had a thought. \"[i]I know one thing I'm gonna ask him for.[/i]\"\n\n\"Whazzat?\" Piffle asked.\n\n\"[i]If he can flick his magic wand and teleport our asses back to my sweet Jennie-Mae. I am NOT looking forward to repeating this whole odyssey in reverse~[/i]\"\n\nPiffle nodded agreement. \"Especially without Toby.\"\n\n\"Aww,\" he said.\n\n\"Well of course I'll miss you when you're gone, you silly goose!\"\n\nA sombrero sailed through the air like a UFO and landed on Junella's head.\n\n\"Bullseye!\" Zinc shouted.\n\nShe turned slowly towards her partner, grumpy as a fat cat. \"[i]Te voy a apuñalar repetidamente.[/i]\"\n\n\"And I love you too, Junebug.\" He tossed two bulging sacks up onto the hood which rapidly filled the air with amazing smells. Piffle and Toby were drawn in like magnets.\n\nZinc ascended George's back to join them. \"I basically pointed to the menu and said 'All of it'. They whipped it up quick. Service was friendly. But holy shit, someone did a crime in that bathroom!\" He pinched his nose. \"Call the FBI!\"\n\n\"[i]We did not need to know that particular information, Zinc,[/i]\" Junella informed him.\n\nHe took no notice. \"How 'bout we take our seats, get buckled in, and we'll eat once we get movin'?\"\n\nToby cocked his head. \"Isn't eating while driving dangerous?\"\n\nZinc blinked, and then he grinned. He looked at Junella and grinned harder. He looked at George and grinned[b] even harder[/b][i].[/i] \"Shall we show him our little idea?\"\n\n\"I would be quite pleased to!\" the horse enthused.\n\n\"[i]Ditto for me.[/i]\" Junella gave Toby a look like she had a delicious secret, then took hold of the windshield frame and gracefully swung herself into the driver's seat. She disposed of her sombrero onto a passing Andy.\n\nPiffle handed the chow sacks to Toby, then flitted to the back seat. He climbed past the shift lever to join her.\n\nZinc poked his head through Junella's window. \"Uh-uh. I get to drive first.\"\n\nShe fixed him with a look. \"[i]You stuck me with the car while you went out callin' on Miz Millie. I know it ain't strictly your fault, but that action set into motion the whole carnival-ass rigmarole we been through the last two days.[/i]\"\n\n\"You're gonna blame me for that? Really!?\" he huffed. \"I just went and bought you dinner!\"\n\nJunella's scowl intensified.\n\nZinc clacked his wrenchtips menacingly.\n\nShe rolled her eyes. \"[i]Look at it this way: you get first dibs to hop up on the roof and use the gun.[/i]\"\n\nThis changed his mood immediately. He leaned in and kissed her nose. \"Peachy-keen, babe.\"\n\nToby asked out his window, \"So what's the surprise?\"\n\nZinc paused and thought. \"Actually, you're gonna want to see this firsthand. My mistake. Hop back out.\"\n\nToby grumbled. He'd just figured out where the seatbelt was.\n\nEveryone piled out of the car and stood in front of it. Zinc slid down from George's back and gave his ribs a pat. \"You ready for this?\"\n\n\"Without hesitation, Sir Zinc! The mechanic named Andy, by which I mean the instance of him capable of speech, allowed me to practice several times. It is actually quite invigorating.\"\n\nToby listened to this, quite puzzled.\n\nJunella chuckled at him. \"[i]Remember that thing I did with the parrot potion?[/i]\"\n\nFrom beneath the Fearsleigher, in between the skate blades, Zinc unfolded a harness rig that snapped tidily into place. George backed up into it. A snug fit. He allowed his fatty outer shell to dissolve back into his bones as the canine dashed around him, getting all the straps secured.\n\nToby noticed that the harness had several glass spheres attached. He thought at first they were lightbulbs.\n\n\"All tucked in cozy?\" Zinc asked George once he'd double-checked the buckles.\n\n\"Quite so!\"\n\n\"Then the stage is yours, my friend. You're on.\"\n\n\"I believe I need someone to break a bottle first.\"\n\n\"Oh, right,\" Zinc turned to Junella. \"Wanna do the honors?\"\n\n\"[i]Sure.[/i]\" In one smooth motion, she dumbfounded her revolver into her hand, aimed, and shot through one of the glass balls.\n\nThe gunshot drew the attention of the garage's other customers, and what they saw next dropped their jaws.\n\nTransformation potion spilled from the shattered glass all over George's flank. His bones stiffened as he felt the liquid seep in. He calmed his mind, giving no resistance, even visualizing his new shape to help it take him over.\n\nGeorge's rainbow lights changed hue. Small flickers of violet lightning traveled up and down his body like veins. They sizzled along the harness as well, up into the Fearsleigher, until both horse and cart were pulsing with a purple glow.\n\nInstead of changing shape, George was slowly pulled into the underside of the car.\n\nThe Fearsleigher seemed to suck him in and gobble him up. Toby had noticed earlier there was a hole above the front grille. He now knew what it was for, as George's skull emerged. A hood ornament. But the transformation wasn't over.\n\nPurple lightning cracked and popped like firecrackers. The potion began to swell George's legs. They bulged into oval shapes. George groaned low in his throat at the unnatural stretching sensation. Then, with a snap like a falling tree branch, each one of them split down the middle into a hoop shape.\n\nToby understood now. The car was turning George into a set of wheels!\n\nThe spectral stallion crowed with pleasure. The transformation felt like a good, deep back massage. The potion's energy tugged and molded his legs, stretching them into circles as tall as the ice skate blades. It thickened them into dense bone tires, all while lowering his hips and shoulders into axles.\n\nNow it was time for the car to transform as well. As soon as the Fearsleigher's weight was off the skates, the skates themselves began to raise. Customers on either side backed out of the way. The massive metal blades rose until they were perfectly horizontal. Then, with a '[b]KERCHUK[/b]', they retracted in to lock in place: from frictionless runners to deadly-sharp defensive weapons.\n\nOn the roof, the nail-studded snowplow began to lower on hydraulic armatures. It passed George's face, the bayonets retracted momentarily to give it some room, and with a '[b]KHUNK[/b]' it settled into place below. The car now had a face. Headlights for eyes, a skull for a nose, two steel elephant tusks, and a bristly beard.\n\nGeorge let out a bellow of raw triumph, sending jets of flame from his nostrils and exhausts. He was now the car. The car was now him. Chariot and horse had fused into an unstoppable juggernaut of bone, fire, and steel. George could feel every part of the car like his own marrow. The spikes and guns were now his flesh. It felt [i]powerful.[/i]\n\n\"I ENJOY THIS IMMENSELY!!!\" he roared at the top of his lungs. The walls and floor shook, displays trembled, and screaming customers scattered like rats.\n\nZinc giggled in total joy.\n\nGeorge popped his four doors open. \"Come, my friends! Step inside me! We have many miles to travel, and I cannot wait to start! Oh, I cannot convey to you the sheer dynamic exhilaration of this new form! I feel ten times my normal strength! Swift as the wind! [b]More mighty than God himself!!![/b]\"\n\nJunella's eyes got wide. \"[i]Might wanna ease back a bit there, George.[/i]\"\n\nHe looked around and noticed he'd scared away everyone else in the store. Even Piffle and Toby were clinging warily to each other. \"Oh. Oh my! I'm terribly sorry about that, dear companions! I assure you, I'm fine now.\"\n\nToby hesitated just a moment before stepping forward. \"You sure? You seemed to be going a bit 'mad scientist' there.\"\n\n\"Indeed, Sire,\" he said with a nod. \"It would have been hard not to. This configuration [i]does things[/i] to me. But I assure you, I am one hundred per cent in control of myself now. And considerably embarrassed!\"\n\nZinc chortled. \"No need to be! I envy you! I wouldn't mind merging with this hot piece o' steel myself.\" He leapt up into the driver's seat and slammed the door.\n\n\"[i]HEY![/i]\" Junella ran over and pounded it. \"[i]I thought we agreed I was driving!?[/i]\"\n\nZinc leaned over the side, smiling like the world champion of smug bastards. \"Yes, partner, but you forgot that I'm an asshole.\"\n\nAnd Zinc had forgotten that Junella was still holding a revolver. She shot him in the neck and kicked his body over to the passenger side.\n\nPiffle and Toby both shrieked.\n\n\"Q[i]uitcher bitchin'! Like you've never seen a little bit of blood before![/i]\"\n\n\n***\n\n\nZinc recovered quickly as usual, and if anything, had an even bigger smirk on at having teased his partner to the point of homicide. He popped the glove compartment and a swarm of gold ladybugs emerged to clean up his previous remains. Thanks to Piffle, they'd finally been able to afford the kind that returned to their box once they were done (and not eat the seats).\n\nJunella was pleased with the Fearsleigher's new layout. She finally had a steering wheel in her hands, which just felt natural. No more shouting out the window for course corrections. And if she still needed to, with George's head on the hood they could hear each other more clearly.\n\nMany pedestrians hollered, gawked, or took photos as the first-of-its-kind car/construct fusion rolled out of Rippingbean & Woofingbutter's. The crowd, for the most part, was good about getting out of the way to let George pass. Though the stallion's heart yearned for speed, he adopted a turtle's pace, as there were gobs of people and kiosks he had to avoid trampling.\n\nThe Taco Shack sacks were opened and the food divvied up. Junella gave Zinc a genuine smile at having brought her an amazing-looking avocado salad. The rest was a smorgasbord of quesadillas, tacos, empanadas, burritos, carnitas, dip, chips and cervezas. Zinc had even considered that Toby and Piffle might not want to get shitfaced and passed them some horchata. Toby drank a bottle halfway in one gulp and licked his lips. If this stuff had come from imaginite, then the chef had a really good imagination! Piffle decided to be bold and try a beer, while Junella went straight for the tequila. Piffle again expressed how sorry she was that Doll couldn't share in their feast, but a note from under the burlap assured her that she was more than happy to luxuriate in the smells. The hamsterfly called out to ask if George wanted any vittles. He said that all he hungered for at the moment was speed.\n\nSoon enough he'd nudged his way past the ring of warm bodies encircling the city into the parking lot proper. There were fewer things to dodge in the lanes, but also the occasional loose pig-thing to consider. He asked Junella which direction the highway was, and for a second she was stumped.\n\nZinc remembered the trick though. \"Look way up until you can spot Luxyland. One of the rides juts out, like a finger pointing the way.\" It was one of the few static patches of EC, and its placement on the beam was for the specific reason of directing traffic.\n\nShe smiled at him. \"Y[i]ou're bein' all kinds of helpful today, partner. I'm almost sorry I shot you.[/i]\"\n\n\"No you're not,\" he needled. They shared a grin and he went back to trying to hold nachos in his wrenches without snapping them.\n\nAs has been mentioned before, Ectopia Cordis' parking lot is a wonder to behold. Fifteen hundred square miles of grey pavement stretched out to the horizon. It is said that you can only see the edge from Bigwheel Fifty-Two. This gave George lots and lots of practice room. As enthusiastic as he was about his new form, he had to admit that enthusiasm is not the same as experience. He was so used to hooves! Having his tires in constant contact with the road was an entirely different sensation. And while driving was far easier than galloping, that also meant it would be equally easy to slip up and skid out. So once he was past the majority of pedestrians, he played a bit, taking a winding route through the parked cars, occasionally seeing how tight of a turn he could make. He hoped instinct would help him hold the road when he got fully up to speed later. And the question burned brightly in his mind: just how fast could he go now?\n\nThe food had seemed endless at first, but then dwindled so quickly that they all blinked in bafflement when it ran out, as if a magician had whisked it away. Bits of lettuce and chopped tomatoes sprinkled the seats. Everyone's bellies bulged pleasantly, their fingers dripped with oil and cheese, and their tongues dozed peacefully in heaven. Junella had blazed through the tequila like a champion and swallowed the worm without even realizing it. There were quite a few empties below Zinc's seat as well. This was yet another George-advantage: he made a perfect designated driver.\n\nToby wiped himself clean with five or so wet-naps, then balled all the wrappers and containers into a tidy lump. He wasn't sure what to do with it though.\n\n\"Over here,\" Zinc indicated. He flipped a switch on the dash and a hatch opened in the ceiling. The trash was stuffed inside while the canine explained that this was another purchase: a dandy solution to the problem of the many, many bullet casings the brass gun was gonna spit out. Any kind of waste could go in the collection hatch and get compressed into caltrops. Whenever they needed to take out some tires, they could just reach up into the ceiling for a handful. \"Works with anything! Casings, garbage, I could even stuff [i]you[/i] in there!\" he kidded.\n\n\"I don't think I'd make very good caltrops,\" Toby replied. \"Someone'd step on me and they'd just hear muffled whining.\"\n\nZinc cracked up.\n\nToby was happy with himself for that bit of self-deprecating humor. It had come naturally. Maybe he was finally loosening up a little.\n\nHe looked out the window to notice they were about halfway through the lot. Long-term parking. Getting close to permanent-term. Plenty of the cars out here looked broken into. Some were up on blocks. Toby imagined thieves working the acres of cars like a coal mine, moving inward as each layer was stripped down to nothing but chassis.\n\nBehind him the city was still bright as ever. A colossal heaven-reaching tube of sprockets and shine. Toby didn't quite know how to feel about the place. Or did he feel everything at once? Relief that he was being allowed to leave instead of sentenced to The Pipe. Regret at not having been able to see some of the sights Zinc had mentioned, like Luxyland. Unease at how different the city's principles had been from his own. Lingering dizziness from the sheer visual overload. He thought about the masked kid whose jaw he'd broken. About the pink hotel room. The spatula elevators. The loud restaurant. Mr. Roosman. Millie. Kay and Kaye. The muskrat with the screwy eyes. The fox with the messed-up face and his invisible gorilla partner. And looming over all of it, that raccoon with the smile like a mouthful of blades.\n\nToby felt a rumbling in his gut that he first ascribed to being overemotional. Nope: overfull. The payload of spicy food in his guts began to fire off, resulting in some world-class burps.\n\nZinc guffawed from the front seat. \"Ten points!\"\n\nPiffle hid her giggle and patted the mouse's arm. \"Dinner not agreeing with ya?\"\n\n\"I've probably never had a meal that heavy before. I guess even here, I can't suspend disbelief enough to think my stomach would be okay with it.\" He urped again. \"Worth it though.\"\n\nZinc got an idea, inspired by the trio they'd met beside Gyre 2. He dug out the cornucopia he'd bought and produced a bottle of ginger ale for himself. \"Want one? This stuff's always good for settling stomachs and preventing chowder showers.\"\n\nToby grimaced at that colorful term, but he knew from years of experience that ginger ale was good stuff for an upset tummy. \"Sure.\"\n\nZinc held it up. \"Just reach in and take one.\"\n\nToby squinted at the thing. It looked exactly like the big wicker cones you'd sometimes see as Thanksgiving decorations. He reached into the open end and suddenly felt cold glass fill his palm. A bottle of his favorite brand was there when he took his hand out. He narrowed his eyes. \"Wait, how's this work? Is there super-concentrated imaginite in there or something?\"\n\nZinc was impressed he'd think of that. \"Nah. Totally different principle. Take a sip.\"\n\nToby was wary of the canine's grin, but unscrewed the top from his bottle and was about to drink.\n\nZinc suddenly brought his wrenches together with a '[b]CLANGG[/b]'.\n\n\"Yaaah!\" Toby jumped at the noise. Then he fumbled his hands around, trying to catch the bottle before it fell and spilled and... Wait, where was it?\n\nPiffle could not resist a giggle at the pure bafflement on her mouse friend's face.\n\nZinc guffawed too. \"Cornucopias only make illusions,\" he explained. \"Imaginite's got substance to it. It'll fill you up. This won't. But it's great if you wanna just snack on something or get a bad taste out of your mouth.\"\n\n\"Pretty neat,\" Toby said. He reached in for another bottle, then a small box of saltines. He was mindful to keep his attention on them this time.\n\nPiffle reached past and pulled out a dish of buttermints. Junella managed to arch her arm all the way back to steal a few. She was just about to pop them in her mouth when she found herself airborne.\n\nEveryone shrieked.\n\nThe Fearsleigher landed with a hard thump on the pavement. George had been getting so confident in his new driving skills that, upon seeing a few station wagons heaped together in a ramp-like configuration, he'd decided to jump them.\n\nEveryone's food had vanished. Junella sighed in mild irk. \"[i]Are you having [/i][u][i]fun[/i][/u][i], George?[/i]\"\n\nHe was chortling with glee until he heard her voice. \"To be perfectly honest, yes. I apologize, but I found myself in high spirits.\"\n\nHow could she stay mad at that naughty schoolboy tone? It reminded her of Zinc. \"[i]Fine, fine. But save the stuntwork till after our snack. Better still, save it for the highway.[/i]\"\n\n\"Absolutely!\" he pledged. \"I cannot wait to get there!\"\n\nJunella found a line from a sea shanty on her flank. \"[i]Steady as she goes, then. Forward to the storm.[/i]\"\n\nZinc passed around the cornucopia again.\n\n\n\n\n-***-\n\n[b]CHAPTER FIFTY[/b]\n\n\n\nIt had been night for so long, Toby had nearly forgotten real sunshine. If asked, he probably wouldn't have remembered where he'd seen it last. It had been dark throughout his time in Coryza, in Amaurosis Fugax, in Polycoria, and in EC as well. At least then it had been easy to not notice due to the city's constant artificial brightness.\n\nToby was in the back seat, finishing his soda and looking out the window at the Veil Of Tears. The constellations roamed to and fro as they had for centuries. Beings of starlight, decorating the blackness around them. Toby wondered how sentient they were. Were they merely animate and reactive like nightmare constructs? Or did they have thoughts and dreams of their own? Were they souls like him, who had ended up in Phobiopolis and were changed?\n\nThese dreamy thoughts distracted him from noticing that they were nearing the edge of the parking lot.\n\nAs soon as they passed over, the sun sucker-punched Toby in the eyeballs.\n\n\"AAAIIIIGH!!\"\n\nIt was a good thing George didn't need to blink, because everyone else in the car was sure doing a lot of it. At the exact edge of the lot, they passed through the region of eternal night into a section of Phobiopolis that kept more or less regular hours. Meaning the merciless afternoon sun was directly overhead. Whether the architects of Ectopia Cordis had built the parking lot right up to an already-existing terminator, or if Phobiopolis conformed itself to a man-made boundary, no one knew. Either way, the effect was like stepping out of a darkroom into a spotlight.\n\nIt was also a good thing they had set up some automatic defenses for the car. The sextet couldn't see the nightmares that had been waiting at the edge of the daylight to ambush blinded tourists, but they all heard the squeals as the scavenging beasts leapt at the sides of the vehicle and were deterred by spikes, skates, or stuffed animals.\n\nWhen the travelers' eyes adjusted, they could see that George was ferrying them along a dirt path in the corpse of a coniferous forest. The land was scorched yellow. Trees like blackened popsicle sticks leaned alarmingly. Chunks of charred branches were all over the road. Nothing grew here but scribbled bushes, barely hanging on.\n\nThey didn't spend long in this place. Less than a mile away, the highway and the cliff came into view.\n\nToby had to shield his eyes again. He thought at first that Hypovolemia was a long bridge over an ocean. But that reflection wasn't water. As they neared, Toby leaned out the window and realized with terror that they'd be driving over an ocean of broken glass. He zipped back into his seat and rechecked that he was all belted in.\n\nThe sound beneath George's wheels changed as they left the dirt and rumbled onto a ten-lane ribbon of concrete. The dead forest ended as abruptly as the parking lot had, this time falling away into a thirty foot cliff. Below was a vast basin of shards. Windowpanes, liquor bottles, syringes, television screens. Anything broken that came to a jagged point. The glass stretched out endlessly in all directions, reflecting sunlight in daggers. It would've taken a fleet of trash trucks decades to haul it all, but Phobiopolis had brought it into existence on nothing weightier than the fears of its dreamers.\n\nJunella and Zinc tossed their empties out the window. Because, why not?\n\nJunella had said the freeway was a gargantuan living nightmare, and while it didn't twitch or growl as they drove onto its flesh, there were still signs. Its white and yellow lines were oddly organic, like stripes. It was supported off the ground by asymmetric concrete beams that looked more like tree trunks or elephant legs. And where the road connected to the forest path, there were sun-shriveled fleshroots anchoring it in the dirt. The highway was like an insect: an exoskeleton of concrete with all its squishy innards sandwiched in between. This was visible at the edges of the outer lanes. Rebar stuck out like curly hairs, and scabs dripped oil wherever the creature's flesh was exposed.\n\n'Of [u]course[/u] there's no guardrails!' Toby thought. If they fell off this road, it would be one of the worst fates in all Phobiopolis. There would be nothing else to do but crawl towards land, bleeding to death repeatedly along the way. And what if you sank? What if you fell beneath the surface of that glass ocean, shredded to pieces again and again as you resurrected eternally?\n\nToby did not have to be told how sharp the stuff was. There were crashed vehicles all around with crimson trails leading away from them. Nightmares patrolled on bloodied feet, searching for skeletons they could tear a last few morsels from.\n\nUp ahead on the road, there were more of the hog-like things that circled EC's garbage piles. Toby also saw furry things slithering up the leg supports, and faraway, circling specks in the sky. He was struck with a memory of a science documentary about the many mites and bacteria which live on people's skin. 'Holy crap, this thing isn't just a big nightmare, it's got its own ecosystem!'\n\nAnd farther to the horizon, he could see that this ride would not remain smooth for long. This was the first time he could remember Phobiopolis throwing something at him he'd actually dreamt about before. At nighttime back home, memories of curling up in the backseat on long car trips had become bad dreams of impossibly-twisted roads with humongous bumps and loop-de-loops. Far in the distance, he could see the highway curling around like a snake, rising high up in the sky, chunks flaking down from the undersides as the creature they fell from slowly writhed like a great dormant god.\n\nThe sight alone was making Toby's saltines want to come back up, even though he knew he hadn't actually eaten them.\n\nIn contrast to Toby's increasing dread, Zinc was bouncing in his seat, giddy and eager. \"Man alive, Juney! Here come the constructs! We spent plenty on all these new toys, let's play with 'em!\"\n\nThey were closing in on a pack of pigs. Some unlucky motorist had crashed their car and now half a dozen snorting swine were crawling all over the wreckage, eating literally every piece of it. Seats, doors, windows, bodies, everything. Toby couldn't help but wonder where the folks inside had gone to.\n\nThe pigbeasts all looked up at the sound of new meat approaching on four bone wheels.\n\nGeorge called out, \"I would rather we didn't allow them to dine upon us.\"\n\nJunella figured Piffle had spent enough will on their ride, she deserved a chance to have fun with it. \"[i]See this, Piff?[/i]\" she pointed out a switch on the dash. \"[i]Headlights. Give 'em a try.[/i]\"\n\n\"But it's daytime!\"\n\nZinc chuckled; she hadn't been listening to him earlier at the shop.\n\nThey were getting closer and closer to the hogs. \"[i]Just hit the switch.[/i]\"\n\nThe hamsterfly shrugged. She strained a bit to squeeze her chubby tummy between the seats, but gave it a flip as directed.\n\nInstantly: the sound of scorching meat and squeals of pain.\n\nThe Fearsleigher's headlights came on with a brightness that made the sun look like a dead bulb, focused intensely into two tight beams. Toby didn't know if they were more like lasers or lightsabers, but they speared out ahead of the car for about half a mile. And whatever they touched started burning. Hogs became kindling as George jiggled the car back and forth to target them. Some of them ran and jumped off the edge to get away.\n\nZinc's tail wagged in sadistic glee. \"Ha! Barbecued pork!\"\n\n\"Jeepers!\" Piffle said. She knew they were nightmare constructs, but she almost felt bad for them.\n\nHe noticed her concern. \"Our first car broke down out here years ago. Imagine trying to rebuild an engine from mindfucked parts while an army of nightmares is all trying to sink their teeth into you. Ain't no picnic. So every time we come back, we like to savor our revenge.\"\n\nThe headlights were effective, but only worked in a straight line. Some of the pigs, along with a few puma-sized ratbeasts with six hips, figured out how to dodge around the beams and come charging at the car.\n\nJunella grinned. \"[i]Persistent. Shall I light 'em up, partner?[/i]\"\n\n\"Please do, m'dear!\"\n\nShe extended her pinkies as she flipped the covers off two square sections of steering wheel, revealing big shiny buttons. When she jammed her thumbs down on them, everyone's ears rang with the [b]ACKACKACKACKACKACK[/b] of gunfire.\n\nThe pigs and rats spun and danced as the machine gun's bullets tore into them like paper dolls. The nailplow handily knocked the corpses out of the way. Nightmare blood flooded the lanes and made red smeary tracks for George to drive through. \"Such an interesting sensation. Like prancing in warm mud!\"\n\nToby was very glad that his friends all seemed to have everything under control and he didn't need to do more than keep still. He held Doll, pretending to comfort her, when it was really the other way around. He tried to tell himself it wasn't his cowardice acting up, just a distaste for adrenaline after the overdose he'd endured in EC. Sitting this out sounded fine to him.\n\nHe watched from the sidelines until a smear of peripheral movement jerked his head to the window. Just in time to see another rat creature leap at the car and split itself in half along a skate blade. Black blood splattered the glass. Toby saw the rat's body go tumbling and somersaulting away behind them.\n\nAh, but he'd brought friends. Rats and pigs and other things were scrambling up the legs of the bridge and onto the road. Coarse fur, black eyes, long claws, and yellow teeth. A squirming mass of ugliness. Toby poked the two front seats. \"Um, guys? There's a whole bunch of creepy crawlies back there chasing us.\"\n\nZinc shrugged. \"Why fret about what you can outrun?\" He patted the dash. \"You [i]can[/i] outrun them, can't you, George?\" he asked teasingly.\n\nThe skull on the hood guffawed. \"What a preposterous question!\"\n\nGeorge slowed just a little to give the creatures behind him false hope. He heard their squeals of triumph as they surged forward. But then he put the pedal to the metal and tore off at double speed, leaving them screaming and howling as they watched their dinner escape.\n\nGeorge roared, \"I can't say it enough: I am entirely enraptured with this new body!!\"\n\nAhead was the first of many hills. From the window it looked as steep as a mountain, but that was mostly a perspective illusion. Once they were on it, it wasn't much worse than a normal highway bump. Toby didn't think they'd all be that easy.\n\nZinc had been sporadically poking his head out the window for a while. At first Toby thought he was just acting like a nonev dog, enjoying the wind on his fur, but Zinc was looking for something. A sudden burst of enthusiasm signaled he'd found it. \"Right on time! Bats ahoy! I knew they'd spot us eventually!\" He leaned across the center to smooch Junella's cheek. \"You were right.\"\n\n\"[i]About what?[/i]\"\n\n\"You drive, me gun.\" With that, he vaulted out the side window.\n\nToby felt a reflexive lurch of worry, imagining his friend splattering all over the pavement. But of course Zinc was fine. In fact, the Fearsleigher now had a new roof rack specifically made to facilitate someone with hands of unusual size swinging up from his seat onto the top of the car.\n\nToby looked out the side window, and in the overcast sky above he could see something circling. Jagged, dark, swooping shapes. They were turning, heading towards the car. Toby heard Zinc's feet clomping around, making his way over to the big brass gun. And then...\n\n[b]BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTT!!!!![/b]\n\nToby clamped his hands over his ears. It sounded like the devil was tapdancing!\n\nIn between bursts of the mighty gun, Toby could hear Zinc's rapturous laughter. [b]BRRRRTT! BRRRRTT! BRRRRTT![/b] The canine howled with joy at the sheer phallic power in his hands. Toby started seeing black bleeding shapes falling out of the sky to land in the glass below.\n\nOne of them even hit the road. It was gone in a flash, but the batcreature's wings looked more like trash bag plastic than flesh, dripping with greenish blood. Toby thought he'd seen these before in the swamp around Sander's shop. Back then they were far enough away to give no sense of scale. But the one that had just smacked into the cement had a wingspan of at least seven feet.\n\nJunella got a faceful of pink ruffles as Piffle squeezed by into the passenger seat. \"Well, Zinc's not using it right now.\"\n\nThe skunk snorted, not sure if the hamsterfly was gonna be a nuisance.\n\nPiffle eyed the buttons on the steering wheel. \"Mind if I give it a try? I wanna eighty-six some piggies!\"\n\nJunella arched an eyebrow. \"[i]You can be deceptively bloodthirsty sometimes.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle did a tiny curtsey. \"Why thank you!\"\n\nThat got a legit chuckle out of the skunk. She took her hands off the wheel. \"[i]Go wild, sister.[/i]\"\n\n\"Hot dog!\" Piffle leaned way over, nearly smothering the skunk with her ponytailed pith helmet, and fired the machine guns at the latest wave of snarling nightmares. \"Sooooeeey! Here pig, pig, pig!\" She giggled as the machine guns made mince meat of them.\n\n\"[i]Enough, enough![/i]\" Junella growled, shoving the hamsterfly off her. \"[i]I don't wanna die drowning in pink sequins[/i]!\"\n\nPiffle patted her paw. \"Thanks, though. You're rilly sweet!\"\n\n\"[i]Rrrrr...[/i]\"\n\nMeanwhile, Toby was looking out the back window at something he did not want to see. A tentacle had flopped up onto the road from beneath. Then another. 'Please don't let there be eight,' he whined internally. But there was.\n\nHauling its blubbery bulk up onto the highway was an arachnopus, and it was even uglier than Toby remembered. A wet sack of blubbery flesh covered in tarantula bristles, with eight protruding eyes. It moved faster on land than one would think, using its own gooeyness to slide along the road like an air hockey puck. And of course it was heading straight for the Fearsleigher.\n\nFor a heartbeat, Toby was 100% sure this was the same one whose web he'd fallen into back in the Blackdamp. It had followed him all this way. To finish the job. Or maybe it had just taken a liking to his flavor.\n\nThose hairy, suckered legs scooted it along at a monstrous speed. Its eyes jiggled. Its mandibles opened and its beak snapped. It wanted fresh, tender mouse meat. It was gaining on George. It would be close enough to grab onto the back bumper in seconds.\n\n[b]BBBRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTT!!![/b]\n\nThen it exploded like a wet pinata full of cottage cheese. The gatling gun's bullets damn near inverted its center mass. Tentacles flailed in reflexive agony. Eyeballs flew in every direction. Zinc gave it another few shots to make sure it wouldn't get up again for a while. Then it was just another sack of unmoving meat on the highway.\n\nZinc pumped his arms in the air. \"I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUN!!! I WANNA MARRY IT AND HAVE LITTLE GUN BABIES!!!\"\n\nIn the front seat, Piffle sniggered. \"With talk like that, a girl could get jealous.\"\n\nToby stared in awe as the smoking corpse of the octospider receded to vanishing in the rear window. A monster he'd feared so much upon his first encounter, and now he'd watched one die in seconds. Like swatting a fly.\n\n\"Toby, climb on up here! You gotta see this baby in action!!\" Zinc howled.\n\nAfter a show like that, the mouse was almost tempted. But his brain reminded him of how much he did not want to topple off a moving car onto a hard concrete surface.\n\nAs if reading his mind, Zinc added, \"Your belt's on a winch! It'll reel you back in if you fall!\"\n\nThe mouse looked outside at the pavement blurring past, imagining how it'd become a cheese grater to any bodily parts that made contact. But he was impressed that Zinc had foreseen his objection before he'd even made it. He gave Doll a squeeze. \"What do you think? Should I go?\"\n\nShe didn't bother with the pad and went back to her original method of communication. Toby felt 'S-U-R-E-!' spelled out on his chest.\n\n\"Allright. Thanks for the vote of confidence. But what'll you do?\" As soon as the question left his lips, his brain answered it. \"Would you mind being our chief supply officer?\"\n\nFrom beneath the burlap she gave a thumbs-up.\n\n\"Great!\" Toby remembered their fight with the Hell's Bozos and how helpful she'd been there. He unbelted and stood up, folding down the backseat to reveal a treasure trove of newly-bought weaponry. \"Here. I get the feeling we're gonna need this stuff.\" He patted Doll on the shoulder, wishing her good luck. \"And don't anyone look in the backseat while she's working!\" he reminded Piffle and Junella.\n\nThe skunk glanced up at the rear view mirror, seeing that Doll was uncovered again. \"[i]Eeeeguh. Don't want to.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle swatted the skunk's arm. \"Now don't you go back to being mean to Doll again!\"\n\n\"[i]So long as she stays back there, I won't have to. Also, Toby, if you're about to go visit Zinc, you might wanna hold off for a sec.[/i]\"\n\nHe was about to ask why. Then a glance out the windshield showed him.\n\nIn seconds, his ass was back in the seat and Doll was cradled protectively in his arms.\n\n\"Wheee!\" shouted Piffle.\n\nThis was the first of the monster hills. That earlier bump had been nothing but a baby. George whinnied as the road shot up at a sudden forty degree angle, and the incline got worse the farther up it went. Six feet, twelve feet, twenty feet high... Toby's eyes were shut tight and his claws were digging into the upholstery. George could feel the little pinpricks but said nothing. The bulk of his concentration was on getting up over the rise and not skidding backwards.\n\nForty feet above where it had started, the hill tapered off. Toby dared to open his eyes.\n\nThe freeway dropped almost straight down.\n\nToby braced his feet against the floorboards and bit back screams as George went over. There it was, the nut-punch feeling. He remembered it from long car trips through hilly areas. He moaned in pain as gravity socked him below the belt. For a moment, everything in the car that wasn't strapped down was weightless. Time stretched agonizingly.\n\nGeorge had a rare moment of panic as he fought to keep his wheels in contact with the concrete. A drop this steep would have normally sent his hooved self sprawled and crashing. But friction kept his tires kissing the road. They went down like a rocket until the pavement curled up into a short dip and leveled out. \"Thank goodness!\" he exclaimed in relief.\n\nAfter Toby was horizontal again, all he wanted was for the car to just pull over and stop. But they'd be gobbled in seconds if they did that. And he'd already told Zinc he'd be joining him on the roof.\n\nWith a queasy heart, he resigned himself to his choice. He set Doll on the seat and rolled his window down. Wind slapped him across the cheeks like it was challenging him to a duel. He looked down to see white lines zipping blurrily beneath him. He had to be insane to even consider this!\n\n'Y-O-U-C-A-N-D-O-I-T' was spelled out on his thigh.\n\nToby turned and Doll froze again. He took a deep breath. \"Thank you,\" he told her.\n\nHe checked that his belt was securely anchored. When he stood up, a sturdy cable extended from the seat. 'I'll be okay. I jumped off Bigwheel 48, didn't I? And again into the garbage. A fall won't kill me. Or rather... Ach. Never mind.' Toby got a firm grip on the window's edge and carefully eased a foot out.\n\n[b]BBBRRRRRRRTTT!!![/b]\n\nAnother perforated trash-bat fell out of the sky and went '[b]THUNK[/b]' against the skate blade. It missed Toby by mere feet. He clung to the car like his fingers were fused to the metal.\n\n\"Sorry!\" Zinc called down. \"Aiming with this thing ain't an exact science!\"\n\nToby opened his eyes and uncurled himself from the fetal position. The wind was plowing through his fur and his ears were flapping like windsocks, but he'd done it. He was outside the car. He was standing on two of the big spikes, holding onto the window frame, and the waist belt was holding him snugly. 'I'm outside,' he told himself, his brain refusing to believe it for a few seconds.\n\n\"Howdy, neighbor!\"\n\nToby looked up and instantly understood what those four newly-added handles on the brass gun were for.\n\nAs purchased, it wasn't really meant to be operated by someone with gigantic threaded metal hands. Zinc at first felt like it would be sacrilege to have someone take a welding torch to this masterpiece, but practicality won out in the end. He'd bought it. It was his now. He had all the right in the world to customize it. And what good was a toy you could only look at? So he'd asked Andy to add some sturdy grips towards the front, tailor-made to fit his wrench-jaws. As for the crank, another handle had been added on the opposite side. Affixed to both were pedals.\n\nToby couldn't believe what he was seeing. Zinc was riding the gun like a bicycle!\n\nThe canine's fur fluttered in the breeze. His tail was straight back like a rudder. It would have been impossible for him to get any happier. The gun was on a gyro mount: Zinc could point and shoot by swinging and see-sawing his body around. Constant pedaling kept the barrel spinning, and the bullets came out whenever he clamped down on his hand-holds.\n\n\"Bandit at four o' clock!\" Zinc cried. He leaned his whole body to the side to aim towards another trashbat that was zooming in for a kamikaze dive. Its lamprey-like mouth was wide open, showing a snaggletoothed circle of fangs. No eyes, no nose, no ears. Nothing but a hole to shove food into.\n\n[b]BBRRRRRRRRRRRTTT!!!!![/b]\n\nSunlight shone through the forty holes Zinc had punched through the ghastly thing. Green, toxic blood spilled in all directions as its corpse plummeted to the glass sea below.\n\nZinc laughed like a maniac.\n\nToby felt slightly ill, as if it were wrong somehow for anyone to be taking this much enjoyment out of violence.\n\nZinc noticed the quease. \"You gonna be a wet rag, Toby? After everything we've been through?\" he ribbed.\n\nThe mouse looped his arm through the roof rack to secure himself. \"I wasn't gonna say anything. I'm just... not a gun guy, I suppose.\"\n\nZinc winked and stuck his tongue out. \"Good. Means I don't have to offer you a turn.\" He scanned the skies again. It seemed like the airborne beasties were getting the message. So he swung the gun around 180 (making Toby duck) to check his six. \"Now isn't that neighborly. Look whose chums dropped by!\"\n\nThe squishing, sliding, lurching sounds gave Toby a clue before his head turned. Behind them he counted five more arachnopuses drawing near. And three of their cousins: equally-immense spiders with eight great snakes for legs. Scales covered each of these entirely. Their fangs dripped yellow poison. Each foot hissed and snapped with every step. Toby's brain immediately started imagining what that venom might do to him if it got into his blood. And which of those mouths might start taking bites out of him first.\n\nBut he looked up and Zinc was calm as an evening pond. The wind rustled the mutt's cheekfur and flapped his jacket, but the sight of an approaching horde didn't dim his grin a bit.\n\n\"There's so many of them! How can you be so relaxed about this!?\" Toby yelled.\n\n\"Would it help me any if I wasn't?\" he lobbed back.\n\n\"That's not quite...\" Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the eight-legged horrors gaining. Like birds in a swarm, they managed to move en masse without tripping one another up. Their speed was double that of the hogs or rats. \"I meant, are you really not afraid of them?\"\n\nA tiny shrug. \"If I didn't have this, I might be.\" His tail caressed the gun like a hand on a señorita's hip. \"But I do. So I'm not.\"\n\n\"It's that simple?\"\n\n\"Sure,\" he replied, with an unsaid, 'Why not?'\n\nUncountable alien eyes were fixed on them. Tentacles and reptiles reached out for them. Inches away from the back platform now. Each nightmare was vying to be the first to climb aboard and cram one of the meat-beings into its craw.\n\n\"Zinc! Aren't you going to do something about them!?\"\n\n\"No need to rush,\" he replied coolly.\n\nIn reality, he only appeared unconcerned. His eyes said boredom, but his body was keenly alert. The tendons in his legs were tight as steel cables. Waiting patiently. Purely for the sake of showing off, but what harm was there in that?\n\nThe spiderbeasts were within seconds of overtaking them. A single sucker from a single tentacle touched the car.\n\n[b]BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!!!!![/b]\n\nThey'd never had a chance.\n\nIt was over in seconds. Eyes blazing with bloodlust, Zinc swept the gun back and forth over the slimy squad and tore them to ribbons like ripping open birthday presents. Spider gore showered the harpoon turret, back window, and Toby's feet. Zinc's laughter was bestial. Rapid flashes from the six gun muzzles shone in his eyes. He bared his gleaming teeth, hoping that in their last few instants of vision before the bullets carved them up, the nightmares would see and recognize: there was only one predator here. They were never anything but prey.\n\nToby was out of breath just from watching it. Also completely deafened, hearing nothing but the piercing high-pitched tone that accompanies a sound too loud to handle. And his nose hurt from the stink of gunpowder. A gagging chemical aroma. The closest he could compare it to was tossing an armful of pencils in a furnace.\n\nHe looked up and saw Zinc's smile of perfect satisfaction.\n\nSome part of Toby envied it.\n\nThat smile didn't even budge when dozens more tentacles appeared from the edges of the road, and dozens more octospiders and snakespiders came crawling into view.\n\nZinc knew it'd take the creeps a while to catch up, so he turned his back on them, looking skywards again. The bats' circular flight patterns were starting to break up. Their tiny minds were already forgetting what had happened to their comrades.\n\nToby's attention was still fixed on the bulbous uglies behind them. Could he count on Zinc being so quick on the draw twice? \"They just keep coming!\" he wailed.\n\nOne nice thing about a land where all physics is illusory: it's easy to will your ears to stop ringing. \"Yeah. And?\" Zinc called back.\n\nThe mouse couldn't take his eyes off the nightmares, or the streaks of offal their dead kin had left behind on the highway. He stuttered, trying to find words that didn't make him sound like a complete wuss. \"How do you [i]deal[/i] with it!? How are you not as scared as I am? I understand you're more used to it, but I think I'd crack up if I had to put up with life throwing monsters at me for the rest of eternity!\"\n\nZinc could understand Toby feeling like that. As he thought about what to reply, he swung the gun around to decimate the latest wave of crawling nightmares. Both for his mouse pal's peace of mind, and to demonstrate that his aim was good at a distance as well as point blank.\n\nWhen their ears had stopped ringing, Zinc said, \"That's what life [u]is[/u], Toby.\"\n\n\"Endless giant spiders?\" he snarked.\n\nZinc chuckled. \"Nah! I mean the part you said about how it just keeps coming. I'm not one of these piss-pants pessimists who think life is all suffering and misery and then you punch your ticket to the grave. But it ain't [i]easy[/i] either. Shit keeps rolling downhill at you. You're right, it never stops. Though once you accept that, [u]you[/u] can roll too. Stay in one place? Of course it's gonna pile up. The only place you should ever sit down is the driver's seat.\"\n\nIt was not what Toby wanted to hear, but it was hard to argue with. And strangely hopeful.\n\nZinc smirked at how seriously the mouse was contemplating those words. He glanced up and noticed that one of the bats had caught stupidity. It had just begun to dive towards them. \"Hey, Toby, heads up.\"\n\nThe mouse noticed it right away. Wings folded back and mouth gaping. \"Great. More of 'em.\" He noticed Zinc had taken his wrenches off the gun grips and folded them across the barrel. \"Um, are you gonna drive me crazy and wait till the last second again to do something about it?\"\n\n\"Nope,\" he said, laying down and closing his eyes. \"You are.\"\n\n\"WHAT!?\"\n\nZinc faked a yawn. \"I repeat: you are. That is, unless you feel like letting that thing chew your whiskers off.\"\n\nToby started hyperventilating. \"Zinc, that's not funny!!\"\n\n\"Not joking.\"\n\nTrashbats hunt silently. There was no screech as it drew closer, just the wind and the rumble of George's tires on the highway. The bat's teeth curved inward like the mouth of a leech. Green drool slithered from its wide-open, hungry hole.\n\n\"I'm the client!\" Toby said desperately. \"You're supposed to do what I tell you! Didn't you say something about how it was unprofessional to let me die!?\"\n\nZinc's tin eyelids were still shut. \"You gonna yap like a poodle or do somethin' about that bat?\" he drawled.\n\nToby started climbing the car, reaching up with both hands to yank on the canine's jacket. \"ZINC, DAMMIT!!!\"\n\nThe canine yawned again.\n\nToby looked up and the bat was mere feet away.\n\nSomething in his mind switched gears. He realized that Zinc was not just teasing him. This was no joke. Zinc would not spring to action at the last second and save them. Toby could either keep trying to make Zinc do something, or he could do it himself.\n\nHe barely got his hammer in hand in time. The bat shot towards him like a bullet and Toby swung on pure instinct. A glancing blow. He felt the hammer hit flesh, but barely. The bat fell against the roof in a hissing tangle of wings and squirmed to right itself. Toby felt panic rising in his heart, trying to freeze his muscles, and realized he simply did not have time for that bullshit. He willed himself to move. Keeping one foot latched under the roof rack, he darted in as close as he dared and kicked. The trashbat's greasy plastic flesh brushed his ankle as it shuddered back, sending nausea through Toby's nerves. The bat got itself back on its scrawny legs and emitted a high-pitched squealing gasp that sounded extremely offended. Toby screamed right back and swung several times in its general direction. The bat made a lunge and caught a steel punch right in its ear. Gut-wrenching shrieks of pain came out of the thing as it fell sideways off the roof, where it suffered immediate death by road rash.\n\nToby's eyes bulged as he stared at the smear of green and black on the pavement. He was gripping the hammer hard enough to turn his knuckles white.\n\nZinc lazily opened one eye. \"What happened? I wasn't paying attention.\"\n\nRed-hot steam nearly poured out of the mouse's ears as he swiveled around and brandished his hammer right at Zinc's face.\n\nZinc raised an eyebrow. \"Damn, champ. I [i]did[/i] rattle your cage, didn't I?\"\n\nToby looked up at the raised weapon. He vanished it immediately. \"Oh god, I'm [b]so[/b] sorry!!\"\n\nThe canine let out a cackle. \"What for!? I did a rotten thing to you and you have every right to smash my bastard head in for it!\"\n\nToby deflated. What could he possibly respond to that with? He glanced down and realized how incredibly precarious his position was. Standing on the roof of a speeding vehicle, holding onto nothing, held in place by only one foot. He yelped and clutched Zinc's leather again.\n\nMore chuckling. Zinc put a congratulatory arm around the mouse. \"You were keeping your balance just fine when you didn't realize it.\"\n\nToby opened his mouth, then fumed for a second, then huffed in defeat. \"Stop being right so I can argue with you properly.\"\n\nThat shit-eating grin never quit. \"Sorry to toss your ass in the deep end, my friend, but the point was illustrated, was it not? I forced you into a corner where you either had to fight or flight. You chose well. You impress me.\"\n\nToby wasn't sure if that was sarcasm. \"For real?\"\n\n\"Absolutely.\" The reply was without hesitation. He patted the mouse's shoulder. \"I tell you this as a pal, Toby. You bitch and moan a hell of a lot-\"\n\n\"Gee, thanks.\"\n\n\"Ah. But that's just talk. I've seen you whine and whine and whine, but then you do the right thing when it's time to. You did a sweet job helping us smash the Cold Coven after Fugax. You even held your own against a pack of mall cops. When you're on the spot, you pull through.\"\n\nToby blushed.\n\nZinc's expression softened into a genuine smile. \"Like I said, life never stops throwin' stuff at you. But there's a certain degree of pleasure to be found in whacking it back. Y'follow me?\"\n\n\"I suppose, for some people,\" Toby mumbled. \"I wasn't exactly ecstatic about what I did to that bat.\"\n\nZinc shrugged. \"Understandable. But if you got some practice in, and built up your confidence to the point where you could, f'rinstance, look at a dozen charging spiders and not break a sweat because you [u]know[/u] you can wipe ass with 'em easily...\"\n\nToby's mind flashed back to Trapforest Path. To how much his mood had improved when he'd made the choice to pick up his hammer. \"It's about being in control, isn't it?\"\n\nHe shook his head. \"Nah. That's Juney's style. And lookit how stressed she is all the time! For me it's more like...\" He thought a moment, then happened to notice another bat diving down. In a single motion, he swung the gun up, clenched onto Toby's vest to keep him from falling, and squeezed the left trigger. The bat was obliterated in an instant. It hadn't even gotten close. It hit the freeway and George's wheels turned it to road paint.\n\nZinc looked from where it had splatted, to his wrench-hand clutching Toby's vest. \"Like [i]that[/i], actually! I keep relaxed until I ain't.\" He narrowed his eyes, trying to put into words something that was so much a part of him he never really thought about it. \"I guess... I guess I don't care about being in control, because whatever's gonna happen is whatever's gonna happen. And I know I can deal with it. So... ehh.\" He shrugged again.\n\nToby admired Zinc's attitude. \"I think I'd have to deal with a lot more bats before I could be like you.\"\n\nZinc clapped him on the back. \"Hey, if we manage to get you home, you won't need to be.\"\n\nToby nodded.\n\nZinc's smile lit up crazily again. \"Until then, d'you wanna switch places and take a ride on this bitchin' bangcycle?\"\n\n\"Hell no!\" Toby said immediately. \"It looks really cool, yeah, but I haven't ridden a bike since I was six! And especially not one with no seat that spits bullets!\"\n\nZinc threw back his head in a laugh.\n\n[b]WHAMMM[/b]\n\nThe gun threw Zinc off the roof.\n\nToby's scream didn't even make it out of his throat as time stopped and Zinc went airborne. Something had smashed into the Fearsleigher hard enough to tip it forty-five degrees. Toby felt Zinc's jacket slip out of his grip. He reached out and felt his fingers clutch nothing but wind.\n\nThe look in Zinc's eyes was one of, 'Didn't expect THAT to happen!'\n\nJust when Toby was sure he'd have to call out a stop so they could retrieve Zinc's body before the spiders ate it, a steel wrench clamped down hard on the car's left-side skate blade.\n\nZinc's instincts had saved his pelt again. He dangled behind the car like a sports pennant. \"Whew! Cuttin' it close there!\"\n\nToby gasped out a relieved laugh.\n\nZinc reached out his other wrench. \"Mind giving me a hand up?\"\n\nToby looked at the wrench jaws, then his delicate little furless paw. \"Try not to amputate.\"\n\nThe canine snickered and tried his best not to as he hauled himself to safety.\n\nMeanwhile, as soon as she'd felt something slam into the car, Junella's eyes had darted to the rear view mirror.\n\nShe didn't even waste time cursing. Her right arm shot out past Piffle, banging on the ceiling for Zinc's custom shotgun to fall out. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to fire, but it was the closest weapon in range. Every second counted. Junella swung the gun over the dash and out the window, aiming with the mirror.\n\nThe nightmare was big, boxy and white. It didn't give a single damn about the skate blades, and had kamikaze'd itself right onto them. From where the metal had sheared through its side, its white paint began to dribble down like sentient slime. It was starting to merge with the car.\n\nJunella emptied both barrels. [b]BLAM! BLAM![/b]\n\nThe nightmare broke off, shards of its flesh flying in all directions. Some of the paint was still boiling and bubbling its way into the skate, trying to take over. Junella hadn't completely stopped its attempt at infection, but she was sure George's presence could drive it out.\n\nShe tossed the shotgun into Piffle's lap and yelled out the window, \"[i]ZINC! WE GOT AMBULANCES![/i]\"\n\n\"Gee, Juney, I couldn't tell!\" he hollered back.\n\nPiffle looked at the side mirror and her jaw dropped. It was like something straight out of a cartoon.\n\nFrom seemingly out of nowhere, a pack of ambulances had appeared behind them. Their proportions were completely ridiculous. Tiny, beady wheels. Spinning dome lights. Bulbous windshields. Trapezoidal sides with big red crosses on them. And with every bump on the road, they squashed and stretched like animation. That was surreal enough already, but then there were the grilles. The ambulance's bumpers were beestung silver lips, pulled back to reveal humongous chrome chompers. Motor oil drool splashed from those mouths and was licked away by obscene silver tongues.\n\n\"Those are some mean lookin' meat wagons!\" said Piffle.\n\nThe skunk nodded. \"[i]They're far off their usual turf. They come from this hospital in Teratoma. Seek out healthy people and drag 'em back. You get taken to surgery and, if all you lose is your limbs, count yourself lucky. You might end up stitched to whoever you came in with. Then nightmare nurses stick you in a bed and 'take care of you' forever.\"[/i]\n\nPiffle opened her mouth...\n\nJunella put her hand over it. \"[i]I can already hear what you're thinking, you masochist! And the answer is, Some Other Time!![/i]\"\n\nThe hamsterfly blushed a bit. \"Golly, we must really be becoming good friends if you can read me that easy.\"\n\nThe skunk's scowl could've soured milk. \"[i]You wanna maybe make yourself useful instead of widening my ulcers?[/i]\"\n\nPiffle perked up. \"Oh, sure! Just tell me what to do!\"\n\nJunella could not believe she was about to say this, but, \"[i]Can I trust you with explosives?[/i]\"\n\nNot a speck of fear or hesitance. Piffle simply asked, \"What kind?\"\n\nJunella jerked her head towards the back. \"[i]Hey! Creepy plastic doll! Where are you?[/i]\"\n\nTwo fist-thumps on the back of her seat.\n\nShe kept her gaze on the side mirror. \"[i]I heard Toby deputize you, so see if you can find me a box of eight or nine round, striped things. They look like bumblebees. Should be a detonator in with 'em.[/i]\" The grinning ambulances were revving up to ram them again. She listened to hear sounds of little plastic hands searching around in the backseat, then went deaf for a second as Zinc filled the closest ambulance full of lead.\n\n[b]BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTT!!!!![/b]\n\n\"Suck my undies, fuckface!!\" the canine shouted. His last blast from the gatling gun had nearly pummeled the wheeled nightmare off the road. It had flipped and landed sideways with a shower of sparks, but he knew these damn things were tough. It'd be up and after them again soon enough.\n\nA box full of round, striped things was pushed between the front seats. Doll looked up at Junella with her head tilted, as if to say, 'Did I get the right ones?'\n\nJunella grunted and grabbed the box.\n\nPiffle put her hands on her hips. \"Say 'thank you'!\" she scolded.\n\n\"[i]I am not gonna...![/i]\" Junella started to protest, but figured it was a losing battle. Her needles carved out curls of vinyl as she snarled, \"[i]Thank you, Doll.[/i]\"\n\n\"There, see? Was that so hard? Isn't it nicer when we're all nice to each other?\" Piffle beamed, batting her eyelashes.\n\nJunella grit her teeth. \"[i]Do you have an 'off' switch!?[/i]\"\n\nPiffle tittered. \"Now you oughtta've figgered out by now that I'm just teasing you 'cuz you make it so easy.\"\n\nJunella banged her head on the steering wheel a few times. Then she sighed. The munchkin princess was right. She'd been letting herself get far too irritated by the cutesy-wootsey schtick. This time she spoke to the hamsterfly as a fellow furson. \"[i]These are sound-activated grenades. I call 'em percussives. If you can keep up with the car, it would be a big help if you could fly out and slap one on each ambulance. Peel off the yellow strip and it's sticky. Just don't, for God's sake, get your hand stuck to one.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle saluted. \"I'll do my best!\" She took the box onto her lap and started filling her many pockets. \"I assume you wanna keep this?\" she asked as she handed Junella the detonator. It looked like a walkie-talkie.\n\n\"[i]Exactly. Just holler when you're done and we'll blow 'em sky high. And be quick! They'll try to smash into us again so they can merge with the car and turn it into one of them.[/i]\"\n\nGeorge overheard. \"Is [i]that[/i] what it was doing!? I felt the most hideous itch on my left side where it impacted. I can assure you both, I will not allow myself to be osmosed! I shall take evasive maneuvers!\"\n\n\"[i]Good! The less we make contact the better.[/i]\" Junella reached out the window and thumped the roof. \"[i]And Zinc, hold off on that gun! Piffle's 'bout to prove she's more than just a big pink zit ridin' my ass.[/i]\"\n\nThe hamsterfly 'hmmph'ed at that.\n\nJunella stuck her black vinyl tongue out at her. \"[i]I can tease you too. Get out there.[/i]\"\n\n\"Oh all right, you big bullyskunk!\" she said as she popped the passenger door and readied her wings. Though she was smiling as she said it, and noticed Junella had been too.\n\nToby jolted back as a fur tornado shot out of the car past him.\n\nPiffle let herself fall horizontally, just far enough to be clear of the car so she could unfold her wings to full span. They caught her like a parachute. Then she flapped hard and felt the weight of the air support her. The rumble of the road filled her ears. She pirouetted to survey the battlefield.\n\nThere were five ambulances in total, all bouncing along and jockeying for position to nip at the Fearsleigher's heels. The disturbingly-organic details of their construction, and the impossible way they moved, created a wave of surreality. Their wheels seemed to have hair. Their red crosses seemed to be scabs. And of course, there was no one driving them. The wheeled monstrosities all noticed Piffle at once. Five windshields turned towards her like clear, shiny eyes. Five wet tongues licked metal lips.\n\nPiffle gulped, but reminded herself that she was dressed for bait after all. 'And I can lick these overgrown tin toys!' she reminded herself. She dug the first bomb out of her jacket pocket and peeled it mid-dive.\n\nGeorge was glad that Madam McPerricone had diverted the ambulances' attention from himself. (He shuddered at the idea of being absorbed by one of them. 'What might I then be forced to do to my passengers!?') But still, he was worried the horrid vehicles might gang up and overpower her. That's when he noticed a little curly-haired plastic head pop out a side window. He quickly looked away, wondering what Doll had planned, and smiled when he heard the tinkling chime of caltrops hitting concrete. \"Good thinking, Madam Doll!\"\n\nDoll couldn't take credit for the idea though. A moment ago a green light had told Zinc the hopper was full. He'd kicked a lever on the roof to drop down a basketful of freshly-baked foot-piercers. Doll jumped to action, whipped off her burlap dress to gain greater mobility, and heaved the bulky basket onto the seat. She waited for just the right moment, then dumped it in the path of three of the ambulances.\n\nThe resulting pileup was spectacular. The one in front blew its tires with a splash of construct blood. No sound came from its mouth, but the silver lips stretched back in a yodel of pain. It reared up on its hind wheels, then kept on somersaulting upside down when the one in back rear-ended it. They ended up locked together, hood-to-hood. The second ambulance's windshield was smashed to shards. It swerved blindly and clipped a third. Ambulance number three skidded hard to the left, but its proportions were too top-heavy and it crashed on its side, sliding out of control. It tried in vain to chomp the edge of the road and stop its fall, but it only got a mouthful of rebar and plummeted out of sight. Then came the crash of metal on glass.\n\nOne down, four to go.\n\n\"Three cheers for Doll!\" Piffle cheered. She deviated from her mission just long enough to fly to the car and give her friend a quick hug. Then it was back to business.\n\nWith the upside-down ambulance wedged on top of the blinded one, both were ripe targets. Piffle found the bombs as easy to peel as tangerines. She dropped three of them on the struggling one's undercarriage just to be sure. For the other vehicle, she got a great shot and rolled a bomb right through its broken windshield. \"Bullseye!\"\n\nZinc was enjoying the show and Toby was enjoying a breather. The mouse didn't understand much about construct behavior, but he got a sense that there was a hierarchy among them. These ambulances were rough customers. Any time another nightmare got near, they bulldozed it right out of the way. It wasn't even malice. More like the ambulances didn't even register their presence. Toby had noticed that the arachnopuses and snakespiders seemed almost cooperative, and the pigs and rats didn't get in each other's way either. Maybe different 'breeds' had trouble sensing each other?\n\n'Or maybe the highway itself is controlling them!' he thought. 'Like smaller minds orbiting a larger one.' He wasn't sure why the ambulances seemed immune, but if he'd correctly overheard that they were from a different region, that might fill in the missing piece.\n\nWith Piffle's bombs planted on the two wounded specimens, that left another duo to chase down. She'd hoped to sneak up on them from behind, but they were already focusing on her and turning to attack. One surged forward and she had to do a barrel roll to keep her feet out of its chomping jaws. \"Bad puppy!\" she admonished. At least it had volunteered for the next target. She got two more percussives ready and swooped low over the ambulance's roof. Both bombs plopped into place right behind its spinning dome light. It gnashed its teeth and jumped straight up. Piffle had to brace herself on its roof to leap away. Just from that brief contact, she could feel its venomous paint starting to eat her paws. She winced and tried to flick the awful stuff away.\n\n\"My friends, you might want to hold on to something!\" George suddenly called out.\n\nToby looked ahead and the question 'why' was answered before he could ask it. The freeway was about to curve sideways in an insanely tight hairpin turn. He threw his arms around Zinc and squeezed.\n\nHe looked amused. \"If you wanted a dance partner you coulda asked first.\"\n\nGeorge did not have extensive experience with tires, but he'd mastered flying easily enough and still had his uncanny spacial awareness. His piercing eyes took in the curve ahead and calculated just how much to slow his speed to make it through.\n\nTo his intense embarrassment, he was wrong.\n\nFor a moment, everyone's heart skipped a beat as George's tires screeched, skidded, and the Fearsleigher tipped. Its right skate blade hit the pavement and showered sparks. George fought for friction but couldn't overcome momentum. Their arc would take them over the edge and into the glass. \"Ten thousand hells!!\" he swore.\n\nTime slowed for all of them. Junella realized she was stuck behind the wheel, completely powerless. Toby's brain told him his only hope was to jump, but his muscles were frozen. Thoughts of failure and overwhelming shame filled George's mind.\n\nSomething pink shot past like a bullet. Piffle swung herself around in a hard arc. Just before the car would have toppled off the road, she elbowed the car back on track with every ounce of her considerable willpower.\n\nHer push was just enough. The skate blade skimmed open air and gravel skittered over the edge, but the Fearsleigher stayed on solid ground. It was close though. The rims of George's tires had traced the road's edge.\n\nJunella stared out the window in astonishment. She couldn't say a word. Her hands had a death grip on the steering wheel.\n\nPiffle gave her a triumphant smile, a salute, and zipped out of sight.\n\nBoth Zinc and Toby were hooting and hollering for her. Piffle allowed a moment of internal rejoicing at having saved the day, but remembered there was still one ambulance left to play tag with.\n\nIt had not forgotten them. Being much more used to wheels than George, it took the hairpin easily and leapt towards the Fearsleigher's back platform. Its metal teeth clacked together, missing, but not by much. Piffle strafed past and Toby shouted encouragement to her.\n\nThe ambulance ignored the pink insect. It understood now that there were [i]several[/i] meat-things inside the strange vehicle. Even a nightmare's mind can understand that 'several' is better than 'one'. So while saliva splashed as it made many attempts to chew the Fearsleigher, it never felt the bombs Piffle skillfully placed on both its back doors.\n\nLike a fighter jet with bows and antennae, Piffle zoomed away from the last ambulance. Her compound eyes were perfect for keeping tabs on all her targets simultaneously, so she knew right away when the remaining three had gotten back on their wheels. They were driving in formation, catching up, and would be within gnashing range soon. Piffle buzzed close to the car, just outside Junella's window. \"All devices planted, Sergeant J.!\"\n\nJunella was so startled her head bumped the ceiling. \"[i]Don't sneak up on me like that! And if you got all four percussives in place, then getcher booty back inside![/i]\"\n\nPiffle sheepishly nibbled her index finger. \"Ummm, four?\"\n\nA growl. \"[i]Did you miss one[/i]?\"\n\n\"No, the opposite actually! I wanted to do a really good job, so I tried to use at least two for each.\"\n\nJunella's eyes got very wide. Her hand hovered over her grooves, ready to go off on a volcanic tirade. But those big, innocent ruby eyes made her hold back. 'Que sera sera,' she decided. \"[i]Fine, but you'd [/i][u][i]really[/i][/u][i] better get inside, because the freeway is NOT gonna like this.[/i]\"\n\n\"I did an oopsie, didn't I?\"\n\nJunella simply nodded.\n\nPiffle figured that one way she could make up for it would be passing the news on to the boys. She flew up beside them. \"Junella says we better take our seats. I think I used about triple the amount of bombs I shoulda.\"\n\nZinc's eyes got as big as Junella's had.\n\nAnything bad enough to make Zinc look worried was not something Toby was gonna stand around asking questions about. He held the rack to steady himself as he stepped down from the roof. However, his foot slipped and the wind nearly knocked him sideways. The waistbelt reacted to the sudden slack exactly as it was designed to and yanked him through the window. He ended up curled in a dizzy ball on the seat, wincing in pain and wondering how he'd managed to whack all of his knees and elbows simultaneously. 'Still in one piece though!' he consoled himself.\n\nPiffle reached out to help Zinc down from the gatling gun, and he was puzzled for a second by something about the gesture. It took him a moment to realize that her other arm was hanging limp as a sock.\n\nShe noticed his concern. \"Oh, this? I, um, I think I broke my shoulder when I pushed the car.\"\n\nNow that he was looking closely, he could tell she'd flat-out pulverized it. \"Geez-o-petes, kitten! Don't it hurt?\"\n\n\"Not yet,\" she said, looking on the bright side. \"But it'll probably sting like a doozy once the shock wears off!\"\n\nShe had guts. He admired that. \"Hey, I can't let a swell chicky like you suffer. Why wait to heal? Want me to kill it all better?\"\n\n\"Oh, sure! Thanks for offering!\" Piffle bowed her head to him.\n\n\"Won't take a sec.\" Zinc took aim at the top of her skull and swung his right wrench around to bash it inside out.\n\nA moment later she popped back to normal. \"Gee, thanks! Didn't hurt a bit! Although, my goodness the stars are out early today!\"\n\nHe chuckled and scooped her up in his wrenches, then deftly hopped down to land on a skate blade. He popped the door and Toby had just gotten situated enough to help Piffle in to sit beside him. She was still a bit dizzy from the bludgeoning, but her shoulder felt right as rain.\n\n\"You were incredible out there!\" Toby complimented.\n\n\"Aw, it was easy. I just hope I didn't mess up too bad with the bombs.\"\n\nZinc vaulted towards the passenger side and plopped into his seat. \"All systems go for kaboom-time, Juney?\"\n\n\"[i]Hell no! Not until we've got as much distance between us and them as possible.[/i]\" The skunk checked the backseat just to make sure everyone was accounted for, then returned her attention to the road. She soothingly patted the dashboard. \"[i]Don't beat yourself up over your little slip back there, George. You're new to driving. Mistakes happen. How 'bout you relax and let me take control?[/i]\"\n\n\"Yes, I would much prefer that. And you have my thanks for trying to help console me.\" Without knowing exactly how, he relaxed his mind's hold on his body and allowed the steering wheel to guide him. Junella flexed her fingers and tested George's responsiveness. For him the sensation was curious indeed, yet felt somehow 'right'. It was like puppet strings running through his body to Madam Brox's hands.\n\nJunella purred. She liked the feeling of handling so much horsepower. She kept her eyes focused ahead. More curves and hills were coming up. The freeway was normally smooth and straight until something bothered it. They were giving it an itch now, and it was responding. 'It's about to respond a hell of a lot more,' she thought.\n\nWhen Junella pumped the gas pedal, George let out a small shriek. It felt exactly like being goosed!\n\nThe ambulances were in hot pursuit, red lights circling. No sirens, just the wet, gnashing sounds of their metal mouths. If any of them had felt the bombs stuck to their aluminum skin, they might have tried to assimilate them before it was too late. But road debris stuck to them all the time. And the scent of flesh was diverting their attention. They could not wait to chew the strange vehicle into bits and slurp down the wriggling treats inside. Keep them safe in their metal bellies. Transport them home to the hospital so they could be cured of all their ills, permanently.\n\nToby squeezed Doll as the road threw a quarter mile of speedbumps at them. Everything in the car was jiggled higgledy-piggledy. Toby and Piffle dodged their feet away from two stray caltrops, and her ponytail ended up whapping him in the nose, making him sneeze. Junella's hands were busy on the wheel and she couldn't shout a warning when the detonator fell out of her lap. Thankfully, Zinc was quick and caught it on its second bounce. \"H-how 'b-b-bout I ho-o-old ont-t-to this-s-s?\" he said.\n\nGeorge rather liked the speedbumps. They vibrated his chassis in an amusing fashion.\n\nJunella's hands were rocksteady on the wheel. The bumps ended just as another hill began, but she was ready for it. She'd guided the late Killcanoe down this road before. Twice, even. She knew speed was less important than control. Especially when they'd come to the loops.\n\nToby peeked out the side window. \"Ambulances approaching!\"\n\nJunella goosed George again to gain speed on the downhill descent. She wanted to tell Toby she was waiting for a smooth patch to put more distance between them and the nightmares, but her hands were busy at ten and two.\n\nToby had all four limbs braced against the seat. Doll was immobile at the moment, but had managed to clutch his vest tight. Piffle was turned around in her seat, watching the ambulances through the back window. \"We're outrunning them!\" she was happy to report.\n\nJunella checked her mirrors. There was half a dozen car lengths between them and the nightmares, but she wanted more. She mentally kicked herself for not telling Piffle exactly how powerful each one of those sticky bombs was. Just one could easily turn an ambulance into a charred, smoking wreck. If Piffle had used the whole box, there was no telling how big the explosion would be.\n\nUp ahead in an S curve, an arachnopus was waiting for them. It scuttled out into the middle of the lane and raised its hairy tentacles threateningly.\n\n\"I believe I can take care of this slimy troublemaker,\" George said confidently.\n\nJunella tapped the wheel: 'Go for it.'\n\nGeorge remembered a little trick from his days tormenting the innocent. Sometimes he'd snort flame from his nostrils up onto his face, turning his skull into a fireball. Now he did the same trick, but with the nailplow. It was a glorious sight. Fire gushed from his inner furnace and coated the spiked wedge like a deadly carpet.\n\nArachnopuses are relatively intelligent by construct standards. This one wasn't. As the Fearsleigher bore down upon it, it reared up on its tentacles and bared its beak as if to swallow them up.\n\nWhen the flaming nailplow hit, the octospider burst like a water balloon. Chunks of charred calamari pelted the car and the road. Junella turned on the windshield wipers.\n\nGeorge belted out a basso laugh. There would always be a part of him that delighted in carnage, and that was fine so long as he kept it well-fed.\n\nThe road ahead was straight and clear, at least for the next hundred feet or so. They couldn't hope for a better chance. Junella slammed the gas pedal to the floor. George whinnied in alarm and doubled his speed.\n\nPiffle bounced on the backseat as the Ambulances were left in the dust. \"Hot diggity! They look like ants now! And they're all clustered together too. Go for it, Juney!\"\n\nShe swiveled around. \"[i]Hey. Only Zinc gets to call me that.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle pouted. \"No offense.\"\n\nJunella turned to her partner. \"[i]Wanna do the honors? You remember how to work that thing, right?[/i]\"\n\nHe looked positively insulted. \"Like I'd forget a weapon.\" Then he turned to the backseat passengers. \"This is your captain speaking. Please buckle all safety belts and prepare for some serious goddamn turbulence.\"\n\nToby rechecked both his waist and shoulder belts, then felt around to see if he could find any more.\n\n\"Want me to dumbfound you up a crash helmet?\" Piffle asked.\n\nHe wasn't sure if she was teasing. \"No. But thanks!\"\n\nZinc was not going to miss this show, even if the shrapnel blew his face clean off. He stood up and poked his upper half through the passenger window, looking back at the snarling, salivating ambulances. They were not happy to see their prey getting away. Zinc grinned at how much worse their day was about to get.\n\nHe gripped the detonator carefully. It would not do to accidentally drop it. Raising it to his lips, he cleared his throat. The device registered the sound, but was waiting for the magic words.\n\n\"Now, please.\"\n\nHe could swear he saw their metal mouths start to scream just as the blast ripped them apart.\n\nThe light was like the birth of a second sun. The explosion was a sphere of fire a hundred feet across. The boom blotted out every other sound for miles around. And the shockwave was a juggernaut.\n\nToby's teeth rattled as a giant invisible hand punched the car from behind. The heat was like the world's largest oven flinging open its door. The shockwave shoved the Fearsleigher up off its back wheels entirely. The sides of the skate blades caught the hot air and for a brief, incredible moment, the car was windsurfing.\n\nEveryone inside was screaming. Obviously.\n\nNot only had the ambulances not survived, they were damn near disintegrated. The largest chunk of one flew straight up in the air and didn't come back down for forty seconds.\n\nThe freeway roared in pain as a massive chunk of itself ceased to exist. The explosion performed a complete amputation, blasting away concrete, liquefying the underlying flesh, and bending the rebar inside like pipe cleaners. Blood cascaded from the open wounds. Concrete slabs cracked and slid off into the glass sea like falling dominoes. The road's legs started buckling.\n\nToby thought nothing could have felt worse than that explosion. He was wrong. The sensation of the car tilting diagonally backwards was worse.\n\nThe freeway was rapidly collapsing. Any remaining creatures opted to leap off the edges into the glass below, rather than ending up trapped beneath the wounded concrete beast's falling body. A haunting moan came from within the freeway as it felt its exoskeleton crumbling and its raw tissues exposed to air and flame.\n\nJunella's hands were too tight on the wheel to say a word, but she put her faith in George and eased off the gas. Speed would make them lose control. What was important right now was precision. She tried to keep her heart from beating right out of her chest as she watched the road ahead rise up and start to curl. Cracks streaked like lightning through the concrete. The freeway was gearing up for one unholy hell of a tantrum.\n\nFrom the backseat, Piffle could be heard saying over and over, \"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...\"\n\nThe heat had melted the fur right off Zinc's head and turned his metal dome into a tangled, bloody mess. But it still couldn't stop his grin. \"Hot [i]damn,[/i] that looked cool!\"\n\nNot taking her eyes off the road, Junella reached out a hand to yank her partner inside, then filled her palm with pistol and blew away the remaining half of his fool head.\n\nOnce he was reconstituted, he shook his new noggin to make sure everything was in order. \"Thanks again, partner.\"\n\nShe jabbed a finger towards the headlight control, then pointed out the window.\n\n\"Yeah, yeah. Blood tentacles, I'm on it.\"\n\nIf the freeway couldn't buck them off, it'd strangle them to death. While behind them mammoth chunks of concrete snapped and folded as they smashed to the glass sea below, up ahead, boiling crimson oil came bubbling up from cracks in the monster's grey skin. Tendrils of ichor began to rise like hellish saplings.\n\nThe only good thing about this was that the freeway was too big to be fast. The travelers would have precious seconds before each tentacle grew to full height, and it was Zinc's job to prevent that. He flicked on the high beams and five hundred degrees of heat surged out. Any tentacle it touched was burnt blacker than an over-grilled hotdog.\n\nFrom all around them came that terrifying bass moan again, like an orchestra of cellos playing underwater. The freeway was in excruciating pain. Every tentacle they destroyed felt like ripping out its nerve endings.\n\nThe road ahead suddenly folded up at a nearly ninety-degree angle. Junella kept her head cool and knew exactly when to pour on the power. They shot up the incline like a rocket and were momentarily airborne. The car tilted towards the pavement as it fell. 'Sorry about your tires, George!' Junella thought.\n\nThe stallion winced, braced himself, and cursed fire when he hit. His wheels felt like they'd shattered. \"May we not do that again!?\" he whined.\n\n\"[i]Gonna be the first of many 'til we're off this road,[/i]\" she replied.\n\nGeorge flexed his axles and kept going. If there was nothing to be done about it, then he would do his best to remain stoic.\n\nJunella let everything else go. Her mind was a rat's nest of shrieking fear at seeing the coiling twists of the road ahead, but worry never helped anyone become a better driver. She did her best to blank herself. She kept her eyes peeled. She thought of a powerful song. If George could merge with the Fearsleigher, then she could too. She tried to feel the steering wheel as part of herself. The seats were her own flesh. His wheels were hers.\n\nCement chunks rained down from the freeway's supports as it writhed back and forth, trying in vain to flick away its tormentors. It stretched and heaved, throwing dips and hills and 90 degree turns at them. It cracked its own concrete in its haste to throw more tentacles at them. The wheels of the Fearsleigher felt like claws sinking into its skin.\n\nJunella had no sympathy. If they were causing it pain, tough titty. This was the only path to get where they were going, so the road was shit out of luck if it didn't like that. She kept her heart a block of ice. She took her time with each turn. Her instincts screamed to rush, but she didn't listen. Smooth. That was the key. Keep all four wheels on the road and they'd make it to the end.\n\nZinc left the headlights on and hopped out to get back on the roof. It was not an easy journey. The car bobbed and tilted like a ship in a storm. If the roof rack hadn't been bolted in place as securely as it was, he never would have made it. But finally, his wrenches clamped down on the gun grips, his feet slid onto the pedals, and he felt the gun humming to life as he kicked off and started the barrel turning. He looked ahead to the red fingers of roadblood poking up through the freeway cracks, squirming like worms and seeking blindly to curl around living things and crush them flat. \"Ah, ah, ah! Papa spank.\"\n\n[b]BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTT!!!![/b]\n\nThe sky rained blood as hundreds of bullets scorched through the air and pierced the road's pseudopods. The stumps flailed wildly and melted back into red inanimate sludge. Zinc felt the gun rumble beneath him like a well-tuned Harley. That was exactly what it felt like. Riding a motorcycle on top of a tank. Could anything top that?\n\nToby was pretty much paralyzed. He knew he was 100% at the mercy of Junella's driving skills and Zinc's aim. Whether or not he'd end up squished into spam by one of those tentacles, or sent hurtling down to the sea of shards, was completely out of his control. All he could do was hold Doll tight and wait it out. He did everything he could think of to take his mind away. He tried to remember his room, to envision his bookshelf and count the titles.\n\nPiffle leaned forward as far as her seatbelt allowed. \"Junella? Is there anything at all I can do to help?\"\n\nThe skunk spared only half a second to look up in the rear view mirror and give her a dragon's glare that said, 'SIT DOWN AND KEEP QUIET.'\n\n\"Loud and clear!\" she said, shaken by the fury in those orange eyes.\n\nJunella was quite pleased to see that the puffball could handle directions. And Toby wasn't screaming constantly. Also good. In fact, another glance at the mirror showed her the mouse had gone all glassy-eyed. Even better! A catatonic passenger is a quiet passenger.\n\nCurve after curve. Junella was starting to really feel the Fearsleigher as her own body. She leaned side to side as she turned, pouring her will into it, not knowing if it was helping but figuring it couldn't hurt.\n\nZinc swept bullets back and forth like a broom of death. He swore there were fewer tentacles now, like the freeway was finally getting the message. But maybe it was just gearing up for something different.\n\nUp ahead, he saw the first loop. He wished he'd thought to put some kind of seatbelt on the gun. \"Ah shit. Hindsight's 20/20.\"\n\nBlack sweat dripped down Junella's forehead, but her face stayed calm. The loops had terrified her the first time through, but she'd learned quickly that they were easy enough if you could keep steady and not panic. She eased off the throttle. Getting all the way up and over required a counterintuitive speed.\n\n'Easy does it...'\n\nThe road rose above them into a curving wall. Gravel and dust skittered down from the cracking concrete. Toby felt his guts churn harder the more the road tilted. He could see out the windows, he knew what was happening, but he couldn't allow himself to accept it or he'd lose his marbles. Even as terrified as he was, he was still aware enough to realize that the last thing Junella needed was a screaming lunatic in the backseat. He forced his brain to see only bookshelves. The cover art, the thickness of the pages, the smell...\n\nZinc's jaw dropped. One never got used to this. Not even in a city like EC where life was always spinning. He felt gravity reverse as the Fearsleigher went up, up, up...\n\n\"It's just like flying,\" George marveled.\n\nJunella felt her heart stop and her nerves freeze when they reached the apex. It was all about keeping a steady momentum to get them past the point of no return. She exhaled hard when she felt them start to head downwards again, but she couldn't relax entirely. There was nothing but friction and inertia keeping them magnetized to the road right now. Gravity could still decide to pluck them off and flatten them.\n\nZinc had been clutching the gun's grips so hard he was blasting bullets all over the road without realizing it. As they finally came out of the loop, the green light came on and, without thinking, he kicked the lever.\n\n'Oh shit,' he thought, as he realized what he'd just done.\n\nToby and Piffle's eyes went wide as they watched the ceiling hatch come open and a basket full of caltrops start to drop down. They'd spill all over. Spiked comets. And both rodents were belted in and unable to prevent it from happening.\n\nIn an instant, Doll realized that no one was looking at her.\n\nShe tensed her stubby plastic legs and leapt. She jumped past Piffle and Toby and felt their heads start to turn towards her. Their peripheral vision began to petrify her. But she'd calculated for that. Momentum kept her rigid body sailing towards the hatch, then she bumped it closed again. Her reward for her quick-thinking heroism was to clatter undignified onto the car's floor.\n\nBut as soon as she was able, Piffle unbelted herself and scooped Doll into her arms, hugging her with all her heart. \"Oh thank you, Doll! Thank you so incredibly much! You saved us!\" Toby reached over to give Doll even more grateful hugs.\n\nFrom the roof, Zinc called down, \"Forgive me, fellas! I wasn't thinking!\"\n\n\"I'm gonna use Doll like a nightstick and beat you in the head, Mr. Zinc!\" Piffle fumed at him. Then she petted Doll's plastic curls. \"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Yes you would.\"\n\nJunella took several slow, deep breaths as they came safely out of the loop. She didn't know what had almost happened in the backseat, but she knew she didn't [u]want[/u] to know either. They were not home free yet. There were still dozens more twists ahead, plus a second loop-de-loop before the [b]big[/b] one.\n\nSomething enormous dropped down behind them with a bone-jarring thud.\n\nIt had been perched outside the loop, gazing down like a vulture. Just waiting for tender prey to come rolling along. It hadn't managed to squash the Fearsleigher, but that was no matter. It had plenty of time to catch up and steamroll them into a delicious meat and metal sandwich.\n\nZinc swung his gun around and pissed his pants. They'd been down this road before, but they'd never encountered a twenty-foot-tall rolling ball of cat skulls.\n\nThe freeway shook from its weight. Hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of fleshless feline heads. Blank, empty eye sockets. Piranha-like snapping jaws. Gleaming teeth. The heads moved and turned in unison, all focused on the Fearsleigher. It looked like they were smiling.\n\nZinc was an icicle for a moment, a helpless little pup with his tail tucked in. Until he remembered the solid brass cylinder jutting between his legs.\n\n[b]BBBBBRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!![/b]\n\nCat heads shattered into powder as the bullets tore through. Zinc felt savage triumph for a moment, until he realized he wasn't actually accomplishing anything. The skull-ball kept on rolling. It wasn't breaking up. No matter how many heads he blasted away, more were birthed from within to take their place. \"Well that just sucks!\"\n\nPiffle looked behind her at his exclamation, then shrieked.\n\nJunella fishtailed the car for a few seconds. She gritted her teeth and tried to regain concentration for the twelve-foot dip in the road ahead.\n\n\"Whatever's behind us, I don't wanna know,\" Toby said absently.\n\n\"It's a humongous ball of cat heads!!\" Piffle yelped.\n\n\"See, I did not need that information. At all.\"\n\nFretting that she was starting to make everything worse, Piffle looked around for something to do. She spotted the ceiling hatch. Perfect! She waited for Junella to get them out of the dip before unbelting and standing up. Bracing herself against the ceiling with one hand, she unlatched the flap and took out the basket of new caltrops. The windows were already open, so she looked, aimed, and tossed the whole thing.\n\nZinc could have told her. If bullets didn't faze this thing, caltrops wouldn't either. In fact, the ball didn't even shudder as it rolled over them. The skulls on the bottom were already being crushed continuously, so a few more didn't matter. The ball's method of locomotion was to regenerate more skulls as fast as the ones meeting the road shattered. The countless jabbering jaws seemed to be laughing.\n\nPiffle was crestfallen. \"Oh shoot! Oh darn! Oh pootertoots!\"\n\nJunella steered through a curve one-handed so she could yell with the other. \"[i]Sit your spangly ass down and gitcher belt on! I'm about to do something insane and I don't need you bouncin' around like a pinball back there![/i]\"\n\n\"Sorry, Junella,\" Piffle said.\n\nJunella had too many things to concentrate on already. At least the freeway was no longer falling apart beneath their wheels. Zinc was doing a fine job getting rid of the occasional tentacles that still tried to lash out at them. And Toby might as well have been a statue. But the driving wasn't getting any easier and now she had a boulder fulla bones to deal with. She patted the dash. \"[i]George?[/i]\"\n\n\"Yes, Madam Brox?\"\n\n\"[i]I'm gonna try to euthanize those kitties behind us. It's a real dumb idea, but trust me. Don't fight it.[/i]\"\n\n\"I have seen no reason so far to doubt your skill. You are doing an excellent job of driving me.\"\n\nShe smiled. It was nice to hear a compliment every once in a while. \"[i]Awright then. Hold on to your panties everyone![/i]\"\n\nJunella launched the car into a hard turn and slammed down the handbrake.\n\nIt was like bald tires on an icy road. The Fearsleigher went into a pirouette spin and everyone inside was slammed sideways. Zinc's feet slipped off the gun's pedals and for a moment he was doing an involuntarily handstand. The car lost speed, top half whizzling around like a UFO, and the ball of skulls surged forward to pounce.\n\nExactly as planned. Because it wasn't just the car that was spinning, it was the skate blades.\n\nJunella had turned the Fearsleigher into a makeshift chakram.\n\n[u]Skulls went fucking everywhere.[/u] The spinning skate blades buzzsawed through the side of the cat-ball and carved out a nice fat chunk. For a moment it looked like a huge screaming head, spitting hundreds of broken teeth from its wide open mouth.\n\nJunella waited for just the right moment, then jerked the wheel hard, canceling the spin. Everyone's heads got knocked around, but Junella was prepared enough to goose the gas pedal and get the hell out of Dodge.\n\nThe ball had split into two hemispheres. They crashed onto the road in a tidal wave of skulls. Teeth and eye sockets littered the freeway like a carpet. Zinc could not resist adding insult to injury by blasting the pile with a few bursts from the gatling gun.\n\nJunella looked in the rear view mirror and her smile sizzled. \"[i]YES! That oughtta buy us some time![/i]\"\n\nPiffle clapped with joy, until she looked over and saw Toby's face. He looked like he'd turned into green cheese. \"Toby! Are you okay? Are you even conscious?\"\n\nHis eyes did not blink, but his lips slowly moved. \"I'm overloaded. I can't take this. It's too much to deal with. I'm gonna lose my mind.\"\n\n\"Poor mousie!\" She reached over to hug him, then had an idea. \"Hey, remember what I said about your bellybutton?\"\n\nIt took a while for that to penetrate. Then he remembered the trick she'd shown him in the hotel room. \"That's an option?\"\n\n\"Sure! I won't be offended. You can just curl up like a little pillbug and I'll keep you from rolling around too much, okay?\"\n\nThe very idea that he could escape from this situation seemed too good to be true. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten the navel-gazing trick. \"Allright,\" he told Piffle. \"Wake me when it's over.\"\n\n\"You can count on me.\"\n\nToby's muscles felt like rotted, cracking timbers as he slowly and carefully got his seatbelt off. He opened his vest and looked down at his tummy. How had he done this before? Just fall forward and...\n\nBack home.\n\nThe shelves he'd tried a moment ago to recreate in his imagination were suddenly standing tall in front of him. All his beloved books. The washable vinyl pages with their colorful covers. He reached out, then stopped himself.\n\nHow had he forgotten all the stains?\n\nHe looked down. The floor was littered with tissues. Wadded up and covered in his own snot and blood. He saw streaks on the walls and... the ceiling too? How in the...?\n\nHe looked all around, suddenly dizzy. Not just from the stench of his sickroom, but from how alien this place felt. It was impossible. He'd been in this memory just a day ago. Admittedly, not for long, but... He'd lived all his life in this room. How could it feel so wrong?\n\nToby looked around at the deflated Get Well balloons. The stuffed animals with dried bile stuck in their crevices. Sunlight struggled to make it through the room's thick curtains, oily with biological residue.\n\nHe had been avoiding turning all the way around. He did not know what he would see there. In the bed. His bed. His sickbed his\n\n[b]deathbed[/b]\n\n\"NO, I DON'T WANT TO,\" he shouted, and his voice sounded petulant and babyish. A little kid throwing a tantrum. The reek of disinfectants, medicine, and urine made his eyes sting, blurring his vision as he forced himself to turn around. No part of him wanted this, but he had to face it. He didn't even know why, but he had to.\n\nThe bed came into view. Cavernous. Sunken. An ocean of white sheets, turned yellow from years of piss and pus. An endtable filled to overflowing with emptied pill bottles, their tops encrusted with dust. Small snowdrifts of them had fallen to the floor. Somewhere lost in the center of the bed, like lying prone on quicksand, was a boy. A little mouse. Glued in place by his own secretions. His popped sores. His incontinence. He was barely visible: a skeleton with a pelt. Two long pink rodent feet jutted up like fence posts. The skin was cracked and dry, the uncut toenails long as pencils.\n\nFrom within that bed, Toby heard a slow, wet sucking sound. His own breathing.\n\nHe sat straight up, suddenly back in the car. The Fearsleigher was swerving back and forth along an impossible series of rippling curves, and the sphere of skulls was back in action right behind them. The sound of a thousand biting jaws was like bacon frying through a megaphone.\n\nBut the smell was gone. And he could no longer see that sick, dying thing that had once been himself. Toby felt himself all over. No sores. His fur was soft and clean.\n\nOf all the expressions Piffle had thought he might show upon returning, relief was not among them. \"Toby!? I don't have a clue why that keeps happening! Whenever I go in my bellybutton I end up in a candy village or a nice meadow or something. Where did you go that could possibly be worse than here?\"\n\nHe ran his hands through his hair. His mouth felt dry. \"My past,\" he said simply.\n\nPiffle scooted over to administer a first aid hug. She put Doll between them for extra comfort. \"I don't know what you saw, but I'm sorry you did. If it makes you feel better, at least you missed another big rollercoaster loop. And Junella says we're almost at the offramp!\"\n\n\"[i]That's assuming I can shake these goddamn skulls!![/i]\" she yowled from the front seat.\n\nToby could see at a glance she was on her last nerve. Her scowl seemed to swallow her face. She was driving more erratically, showing signs of mental exhaustion. Her inner tank was nearly empty.\n\n'How long was I in my memory?' he asked himself.\n\nHe hesitated, not wanting to make things worse. But then he said softly to her, \"You can do it. You can get us out of here. You're Junella Fucking Brox, right?\"\n\nShe was on a hair-trigger anyway, ready to tell him to shove his positive affirmations up his ass. But hearing him swear in that delicate little voice of his actually made her snicker. And she had to admit, the mouse had a point. She [u]was[/u] Junella Fucking Brox. She'd been through worse than this. Just reminding herself of her true name gave her a second wind. She was not helpless. Junella Fucking Brox never was.\n\nShe needed both hands to pull them through another hairpin, but she glanced at the rear view mirror and threw Toby a 'Thank you'.\n\nHe rubbed his shoulder from where the inertia had slammed him into the armrest. \"You're welcome.\"\n\nPiffle gave Toby another squeeze. \"Oh, and you might wanna get your belt back on.\"\n\n\"Why-\" His question turned to a gurgle when he saw through the front window what was looming ahead.\n\nOh, it was simply not fair. His only two choices of where to be right now were the inner hell of his fetid bedroom, or in a car that was about to enter the biggest damn loop-de-loop his mind could comprehend.\n\nTaller than Gyre 2. Easily. Maybe even the circumference of Coryza. The immense concrete circle stretched up into the sky so high it was impossible to see its top. Fist-sized crumbs of concrete littered down like dandruff with every shudder of the still-infuriated freeway. This was worse than Toby's worst driving nightmares. This was giving him heart palpitations just looking at it.\n\n\"[i]Toby.[/i]\"\n\nHe shook his head. \"What!?\"\n\nJunella had locked her right hand on the wheel so she could talk with her left. She had to make this part very, very clear. \"[i]You've been a perfect passenger back there so far, and I'm grateful, but I need you to promise me that'll continue. Because I have [/i][u][i]really[/i][/u][i] got to concentrate now.[/i]\"\n\nHe nodded. \"If I have to I'll shove myself in the storage space and just cry the whole time. But I promise, I will not freak out and be distracting.\"\n\nShe smiled, recognizing just how much bravery it took to think of someone else at a moment when you're pushed to your limits.\n\nThe wind whistled past. The road rumbled. George's tires thrummed. Junella looked ahead. She could just barely feel the tilt starting. She brought herself back to the times before. No matter what, the big loop was always here at the end.\n\nWith the Killcanoe, they'd been able to hop the gap. Jump from the start of the loop to its end, avoiding the middle. The Fearsleigher would not hop. And that posed a problem because they'd just barely skated through that last loop. It was going to take more than just steady speed and perfect control to get through this. The big one was so damn huge, gravity would rip them off before they got to the apex. They needed something more. But no new ideas were forthcoming. Whatever they did, their ride would have to remain smooth as silk from start to finish. If that cat-thing bumped them even once, they would fall and smash and die.\n\n\"[i]Piffle, do you have any percussives left?[/i]\"\n\n\"Well, sure! I didn't use the [i]whole[/i] box!\" She patted her pockets. \"Looks like there's five here.\"\n\n\"[i]Three will be [/i][u][i]plenty,[/i][/u]\" Junella replied. She locked eyes with Piffle in the rear view mirror. \"[i]I know we're not always on the best terms, but right now I need to drive, so that means I need to trust you to do something very important and very precise.[/i]\"\n\nJunella's solemn tone snapped Piffle to attention. She sat up straight with her hands in her lap. \"I'm listening.\"\n\n\"[i]You remember the harpoon turret? It's on the back of the car. I need you to fly out and get to it. If it's loaded, unload it. The last thing we need is to end up grappled to that thing. There will be regular spears with no ropes attached. Load one. Stick all three bombs to the tip. When we get to the apex, fire.[/i]\"\n\nThe hamsterfly's heart beat faster. That was a lot to remember. \"Doesn't Zinc normally do this kind of thing?\"\n\n\"[i]Yes. But if he falls off, he can't fly back.[/i]\"\n\n\"That is a good point,\" she had to admit.\n\nToby reached out to take her paw in his. \"You can do it. You've got a stronger will than any of us.\"\n\nShe smiled brightly at him for his kindness, then gave his cheek a smooch. \"Allright, Junella. I'll do it. If I follow your tune, the cat heads'll blow up and gravity will scatter 'em all over the place, right?\"\n\n\"[i]Exactly right,[/i]\" Junella sang. Plus the explosion might give them an extra push through the loop. It wasn't certain enough to count on though. She had to look away to the road then. The tilt was increasing. The real fun was about to start. But she spared a second more with her hand off the wheel to give the hamsterfly a thumbs up.\n\nPiffle took just enough time for quick Toby and Doll hugs. Then a deep breath. Then she opened the door.\n\nThey were driving at a thirty degree angle now, still at freeway speed. She needed a moment to orient herself before spreading her wings. The drag nearly yanked her into the wind, but she held on tight to the door frame. She was glad for her compound eyes. Back when she'd had eyelids, they certainly would've been watering from all the wind and road dust. From her position now she could see the harpoon turret clearly.\n\nShe let go.\n\nIt was over before she realized it. Instinct had taken over. She'd let the forward momentum of the car pull it out from beneath her, then she reached out and grabbed the turret as it passed by. Piece of cake.\n\n\"Hey, nice move!\" Zinc called down.\n\n\"Oh hi!\" she replied, waving. \"Almost forgot you were up there!\"\n\nShe had to yell a bit over the pounding drone of George's wheels and the incessant snapping smiles of the cat skulls. Thankfully, the ball had reached its top speed and couldn't do much more than keep up with them. But it was following damn close. It was trying to conserve energy for a lunge. If it could just get in a single bite, the rest of itself could swarm all over the car and devour it.\n\nPiffle ignored the construct, as she tried to do with most bullies. \"I'm glad you're here!\" she shouted to Zinc. \"Junella wants me to shoot the catball with a spear, and I don't have a gosh-darned idea where those are!\"\n\nZinc smiled back. Piffle'd been asked to fire heavy weaponry at a twenty-foot-tall monster, and was remaining chipper as ever. What a gal! He pointed to her left. \"See that tube with the hinge like a toolbox? There ya are.\"\n\n\"Thanks!\" The road was getting steeper by the second. Piffle was starting to slip, so she positioned herself behind the turret, leaning forward onto it. She opened the spear box very slowly, careful not to spill any. \"How do I unload the harpoon and swap this one out?\"\n\n\"The big red button fires it. DON'T push that! Flick the square switch to the right of it.\"\n\nPiffle looked around on the control panel and found it. This released the turret's hold on the harpoon and, due to their forty-degree angle, it slid out to clang against the road.\n\n\"Oh poop!\" she exclaimed.\n\nZinc laughed. The harpoon was dancing around behind them, still attached by its rope. \"Not a problem! Just reel it in!\"\n\nPiffle did so, then tucked it away in the spear box. Now came the problem of getting a new spear into the turret. She figured it'd be easier to ready the explosives first. She carefully pulled a percussive from her pocket and started peeling. \"Gosh I hope this thing doesn't go off early!\"\n\n\"It won't,\" Zinc assured. \"I've used 'em before. They don't pop until they hear the go phrase: 'Now-\"\n\nPiffle looked up and shook her head violently. \"No!\"\n\nHe chuckled and grinned at her. \"I wasn't really gonna say it, c'mon!\"\n\n\"Ooooh, you're naughty!\" she said, laughing too. The bit of humor actually helped to steady her nerves. She peeled the grenades as easy as pulling off candy wrappers, then arranged them nicely on the spear tip.\n\nUnder normal conditions, loading the turret would have meant taking a few steps along the platform and sliding the ammunition down the barrel. But considering how close to vertical they were by now, Piffle didn't want to chance falling off. That meant flying. She took another deep breath and spread her wings.\n\nWhen the ball of skulls saw her jump from the car, it reacted like any predator to the movement of its prey. It pounced. The toothy mass moved like a swarm of birds, stretching forwards to snare her.\n\nZinc was not about to let that happen. He'd already been pedaling the cranks, and the instant he saw movement from the catball, he pounded it with a hailstorm of hot lead. [b]BRRRRRTTT![/b]\n\nThe whole ball shuddered and shed skulls like dandruff. Zinc dared to hope he might have unbalanced it enough to send it rolling back down the loop, but things were never that easy.\n\nPiffle buzzed along behind the car with the spear out ahead of her like she was a pole vaulter. It took several tries to thread the end into that itty-bitty barrel hole, but finally the shaft sunk in with a satisfying clamping sound. She happily returned to her perch behind the turret and held on tight. \"Whew! Mission accomplished!\"\n\n\"Not yet, pet. You still gotta fire it!\"\n\n\"That's right!\"\n\nMeanwhile, Junella had been calmly explaining their gravity predicament to George.\n\n\"Yes, Madam Brox, I did feel my wheels sliding precariously through that last loop. I had hoped you would have some idea on how to increase the down force upon the road.\"\n\n\"[i]I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'.[/i]\"\n\n\"We do not have much time before we'll need to act.\"\n\nShe banged her fists on the steering wheel. \"[i]I KNOW![/i]\"\n\nGeorge had another thought. \"I could retake driving duties if you need your hands free. All it would require is to keep a consistent speed, correct?\"\n\nShe reigned in her temper. George was just trying to be helpful. \"[i]Thanks, but I'm in the zone here. I've got the feel. I'd worry about any slip-ups if we switched gears.[/i]\"\n\n\"I trust your expertise.\"\n\n\"[i]No worries, hoss. You've been golden this whole time. You're getting' a big fat kiss on the lips when we can finally stop.[/i]\"\n\n\"I have no lips, but that would be very pleasant nonetheless.\"\n\nJunella chuckled. George's smooth voice helped ease her stress. \"[i]Toby? You still sane?[/i]\"\n\n\"Barely.\" He looked out the window at the horizon slowly turning over. He felt gravity sucking him back into his seat, pooling his blood away from his face and fingertips. His brain was slowly filling up with static. \"I think I might be going into shock again. Feels nice.\" \n\n\"[i]Try not to. Do you think you can handle a small job?[/i]\"\n\nHe blinked in surprise. What could she possibly need him for? \"I... Maybe?\"\n\nJunella knew that the feeling of helplessness increased the chances of a freakout. Having something to do helped a furson keep their head. She reached over to Zinc's seat for the detonator, then tossed it in Toby's lap.\n\nHe caught it clumsily, then stared at it. \"You want me to...? I don't know, Junella! I'm a wreck right now! What if I stutter!?\"\n\nShe locked eyes with him in the rear view mirror. \"[i]You won't. Just two little words. You remember them, right?[/i]\"\n\nHe stopped himself in time from saying them aloud. That would have been a Very Large Oopsie.\n\n\"[i]I'd do it myself, but I want both hands on this wheel, understand?[/i]\"\n\nToby nodded.\n\nAnd as Junella turned her focus back to the road, a humdinger of an idea popped into her brain. Letting the problem simmer had produced a solution. \"[i]George!! The car's your body, right? How much can you customize it?[/i]\"\n\nHe wasn't sure how to answer that. \"I am uncertain. I cannot alter my shape or mass, but-\"\n\nThere was no time for idle words. They'd have to implement this idea before they hit the rapidly-approaching ninety degree mark. \"[i]The plow goes up and down. Can you get it up and [/i][u][i]over[/i][/u][i] the gun turret!?[/i]\"\n\nThe request seemed insane, until he envisioned exactly what he'd be reshaping it into. \"A spoiler! Madam Brox, you are a genius!\"\n\n\"[i]Can You DO It!?[/i]\" she exploded.\n\n\"I see no reason why not!\" he shouted back with optimism.\n\nJunella reached out the window to thump the roof and get Zinc and Piffle's attention. \"[i]Allright! This is the plan! We're gonna be upside down soon. If we get past the apex, that bunch of skulls could pounce right on us. That'd be undesirable. So when we're close, Zinc: you count down from ten. Piffle: when he gets to zero, you fire right into the heart of those bony fuckos. Toby: when you hear the turret fire, you count to one and say the words. George: you keep us on the road. I'll keep us steady. All clear!?[/i]\"\n\n\"Roger that, Cap'n!\" Zinc shouted.\n\n\"Roger!\" Piffle followed.\n\n\"I'll do my best!\" Toby said.\n\nJunella glanced back and flashed him a teasing grin. \"[i]You'll do perfect or I'll feed you to that thing back there with barbecue sauce.[/i]\"\n\n\"Thank you for that pleasant thought,\" he gurgled.\n\nGeorge didn't have many seconds to spare, so he did some body calculations. The nailplow was raised and lowered by a pair of hydraulic arms. They could get the plow to the back of the car, but there wouldn't be enough clearance to pass it over the gun turret. He'd end up shearing it right off the back, and with Sir Zinc currently astride it, that would not do.\n\nCloser and closer towards the ninety degree mark.\n\nA Gordian Knot solution occurred. George grunted heartily as he ripped the plow in half down the middle. The whole chassis shook. Sprinkles of wood and metal clattered all along the bottom of the car between the wheels. It was his own flesh; he felt no pain.\n\nGeorge swung the lifting arms up and back, rotating the plow-halves on their mounts. \"DUCK, Sir Zinc!!!\" he called out.\n\nZinc sure as hell did. Two jumbo slices of nail-studded pizza whizzed past his head as he skroonched himself down tight against the gatling gun.\n\nGeorge locked the now-flat-side-up plow sections into place. Instantly he felt a strong gusty hand shove his backside against the road. The skate-blades had already given them some downward push, but the spoiler was the extra added 'oomph' they needed. He cackled in triumph, leaned his weight forward for balance, and sped forward.\n\nJunella held her breath as he approached the ninety line\n\n...and zoomed right past, slick as butter.\n\n\"[i]YEAH!!![/i]\" she hollered. \"[i]Dynamite job, Georgie![/i]\"\n\nGetting all the way through the loop would still require incredible skill, but this was a very good start. \"Your idea was brilliant, Madam Brox! I feel like I'm glued to the road!\"\n\nShe lovingly thumped the glovebox. \"[i]Then go, go, go! Pour on that speed nice and slow and thick, like maple syrup![/i]\"\n\nGeorge snorted agreement. He chained his focus to the road then, letting it whisper in his ear exactly how much more force and velocity he needed to keep racing onward.\n\nThey passed one hundred degrees. Then one hundred and thirty. The blood was rushing to their heads now. Nothing but friction and momentum were holding them to the road. They were a fly walking across a ceiling. The sea of glass had become the sky. If George's wheels lost their grip for an instant, there would be a gut-churning instant of weightlessness, followed by the fall.\n\nThe catskulls were keeping pace effortlessly. Grinding their ivories. Clinging to the pavement like velcro. Getting hungrier and hungrier by the mile. Zeroing in on dinner.\n\nZinc had his feet hooked around the crank pedals, acutely aware of how much gravity wanted to snatch him off. He looked below at the seeming miles of empty air between him and the bottom of the loop. Inverted like this, it was hard to swing the gun around to look forward, but he managed. They were not far from zenith point. Now or never. \"Ten!\" he shouted.\n\nToby heard the countdown begin and felt his throat close up. His mouth upholstered itself in sandpaper. It seemed impossible he could speak one word into the detonator, much less two. Impossible!\n\n\"Nine!\"\n\nJunella could feel sweat beading on her skin and sliding towards the ceiling. Her hands had an iron grip on the wheel. She could feel every tiny crack and bump in the road's surface, as if her feet and George's wheels were one and the same.\n\n\"Eight!\"\n\nPiffle steeled herself, finger over the big red button. She had the turret pointed just right. Into the heart of the thousand-jawed nightmare. Their empty eyeholes were all pointed directly at her. 'Criminy, something about that makes my skin crawl!'\n\n\"Seven!\"\n\nToby envisioned himself choking at the final moment, unable to speak, unable to set off the bombs, dooming himself and everyone else. But he couldn't let that happen, no matter how much his cowardly core seemed to crave it. He searched his brain for a way to cancel his stage fright.\n\n\"Six!\"\n\nDoll was not having a good time. The belts were holding Toby in place, but she was loose and once again immobilized. She slid up the seats and onto the back window. There was nothing keeping her from the cat skulls but a thin pane of glass. She could see her burlap sack a foot away. So close, and yet infinitely out of reach due to her curse.\n\n\"Five!\"\n\nGeorge reassured himself that even if they failed they were not necessarily doomed. He knew about the other addition to his chassis that Zinc had insisted upon. Junella did not trust the mechanism, else she would have engaged it earlier when she'd had a perfect chance. He guessed she felt better entrusting herself to her skills, rather than a machine. But it might save them if they fell. The only worry then would be the many-skulled nightmare falling upon them from above and devouring them in midair.\n\n\"Four!\"\n\nPractice. That was what Toby needed. Do it by reflex. He parted his lips and started mouthing the words, over and over and over, trying to keep his mind blank. If he could set his mouth to automatic, then all he'd have to do was breathe. 'Now please now please now please now please now please...'\n\n\"Three!\"\n\nZinc kept his eyes latched to the road ahead, to the apex. But he could hear the deafening chatter of teeth behind him, clawing for his attention, daring him to look back. Were the skulls laughing at him?\n\n\"T-two!\"\n\nPiffle buzzed her wings to keep herself in place. She was hovering upside down with her hand above the button. Tense as a racehorse waiting for the starting gun.\n\n\"One!\"\n\n'nowpleasenowpleasenowpleasenowpleasenowpleasenow'\n\n\"ZERO!!!\"\n\nPiffle slammed her palm down. The turret let out a hiss of compressed air that shoved the spear out nearly as fast as a bullet. The deadly length sailed across the gap between the car and the cats. Their dead eyes turned towards the tiny toothpick, then their mass swallowed it whole. The skullball laughed unmistakably. Thousands of juddering jaws, teeth clacking together at the utter hilarity of these meat-beings. Thinking something so tiny could possibly pose a threat!\n\nToby's ears perked at the sound of the spear being launched. He counted 'now please now please now please.' His lips moved automatically. He breathed.\n\nHe spoke, clear as a bell: \"Now please.\"\n\nThe skullsphere transformed into a thousand flaming calcium missiles.\n\nThe percussives' shockwave rippled the air and tore through bone as easily as newspaper. The nightmare legion's jaws were wrenched open in howls of surprise as the explosion shattered the collective. Their hivemind broke into a billion feral fragments, none able to register anything more than primal pain and fury.\n\nPiffle was the only one looking backwards and thus the only one to take in the awesome sight: a fiery mass of bone falling from the road and plummeting towards, to her, the sky. It lost its shape as it fell, crumbling into smaller and smaller chunks. The spear had gutted it internally. The center could not hold.\n\nJunella felt the blast reach out and shove the car. She felt the wheels slip. With no conscious thought, moving like flowing water, she eased the wheel and the gas pedal to compensate. She felt the Fearsleigher correct its speed, stabilize, and coast through the apex.\n\nAll of them felt it internally: the moment when their guts became weightless. They hung there an eternity, waiting to fall or sail through.\n\nJunella held her breath. It took all the effort in the world not to reflexively hit the gas.\n\nToby felt a shudder of relief bolt through him when he felt the familiar tug of friction's reassertion. Junella had pulled them through. Blood was pooling in his head, and the seatbelts were digging into his skin, but all he could feel was amazement that they'd made it.\n\nThen he felt small plastic fingers touch his shoulder. Y-O-U-D-I-D-I-T.\n\nA smile broke over the mouse's face.\n\nThis second explosion had reawoken the freeway's rage. The loop began to tremble now. George felt it in his tires. The road was going to crack again. He looked all around, scanning for falling chunks of concrete, and wondered if it was even possible to dodge them while keeping their steady speed.\n\nZinc saw what was happening too. He started pumping his pedals. Readying the gun. If he saw even the tip of a tentacle, he'd blast it to kingdom come.\n\nJunella watched the road preparing for a tantrum. The freeway's last ditch effort to punish those who caused it pain. She willed herself not to blink, not to think. She foresaw a coming crack and dared to ease the car gently to the left. 'Steady speed, steady speed... Past it. Good.' Now all she had to do was pull off that same impossible trick twenty more times until the road was finally flat again.\n\nWhite lines shattered. Hunks of cement shook loose. Patches of red flesh and rebar started to burst through. Freeway blood began to slide and pool and drip through the cracks.\n\nZinc's eyes were built to stay open. He kept a hawk's watch on the blood. Waiting for movement. His wrenches trembled as they held the gun grips, ready at a millisecond's notice to squeeze.\n\n'Ease left, ease left, ease left,' Junella told herself. 'Nice and slick. Wall off your fear. Yes, the road ahead is falling apart and you are on that road, but you are also Junella Fucking Brox, and you are going to get through this because, goddammit, you say so.'\n\nSometimes the most powerful thing in the world is remembering who you are.\n\nThe car slid like butter in a skillet along the road, past all its hurdles. Junella had chosen the loop's tippy-top to fire the spear for another reason: the scattering remains of the cat sphere would fall straight down, while the Fearsleigher's path was curved. It was simple math to see which one would reach the bottom first. Junella had foreseen this. She knew the skulls might still be dangerous if they landed en masse on top of the car, but maybe not if the skulls hit first and the Fearsleigher slammed right through. 'That'd be a fine time for George to get the nailplow back down,' she thought to herself.\n\nThe Fearsleigher was now almost perfectly horizontal. George looked up to see hundreds upon hundreds of cat heads raining down upon the freeway below. Most turned to powder upon impact, though plenty landed with inaudible crunches in the glass sea below. There was still going to be a snowdrift of shattered fragments for them to plow through at the bottom. Snow drift. Plow through. Oh, that gave him an idea! He waited to coast past the danger zone. Then as soon as he felt the car settle back into gravity's grip, he retracted the two halves of the nailplow, jammed them back together as best he could, and belched up a fireball to light them aflame.\n\nA grin stretched across Junella's muzzle. 'I think I love you, Georgie.'\n\nShe was finally able to give the car some gas. They were past the worst three quarters of the loop and her guts were settling back into normal positions. Now that constant velocity was no longer a need, she could dodge the heaving chunks of road no sweat. She felt the heat from George's flames and they suited her mood nice and sweet.\n\nZinc was almost disappointed. The road ahead was churning itself into casserole, but wasn't spewing up any more tentacles for him to shoot at. Awww. Maybe the freeway was tired. Well, at least there was that minor mountain of wriggling skull chunks up ahead. Couldn't hurt to put some bullets into it.\n\nGeorge could see the pile of bone too. Moving. It was beginning to heal itself. \"Madam Brox, do you think it would be advisable to go 'full steam ahead'?\"\n\n\"[i]Eat your heart out,[/i]\" she crooned. \"[i]Hell, I'll even let you take the wheel. You've earned it.[/i]\"\n\nGeorge felt control come back to his wheels and he skidded, but only for an instant. Then he was back in command. He flexed his steel and bone, reaffirming his love for this body. \"Smashing!\" he bellowed. Then chuckled at the inadvertent pun.\n\nZinc shouted down, \"Go, George, go! I'll tenderize, you pulverize!\"\n\n\"That sounds most agreeable, Sir Zinc!\"\n\n[b]BBBBBRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!![/b]\n\nIf the cat skulls thought their bad day was about to turn around, a blistering metal slap knocked that notion right out of their heads. Newly regrown skulls that had just pushed their way to the front of the pile were churned to splinters by Zinc's bullets.\n\nAnd then here came a great big flaming nailplow.\n\nTo the sound of George's overjoyed cackles, the Fearsleigher bulldozed through. And for the second time that day, the sky rained skulls.\n\nBarbecued bits of bone flew in every direction. The car juddered at the sheer heft of heads it had to punch out of its way, but they made it through easily. The Fearsleigher had become an unstoppable force, powered by the unbreakable will of its passengers.\n\nAll of them cheered their throats raw as they sailed through. Back on solid road again. With the offramp finally in sight.\n\nHundreds of skulls clattered onto the glass ocean below, sprinkling the landscape white. Some of the minor nightmares, the ones with a taste for marrow, descended and began a crunchy feast.\n\n\n\n\n-***-\n\n[b]CHAPTER FIFTYSEVEN[/b]\n\n\n\nThe offramp.\n\nPicture a whale's tail rising up out of the ocean after a dive.\n\nHypovolemia's freeway did not end with a sensible exit onto solid ground. Instead it curved upwards. Not into a new loop, but into a multi-headed ski jump. The ten lanes split like a bouquet in ten different directions. Beyond the ramps was nothing but sky above and endless shattered glass below.\n\nSomehow, this didn't surprise Toby. He was starting to get the picture by now that Phobiopolis had its own version of Murphy's Law. Anything that could be made as terrifying as possible, would be.\n\nConcrete shook and crumbled. The freeway was throwing a hissy fit at realizing the pain-insects on its skin were about to escape scot-free. There were less than two miles between the carload of irritants and open air. The freeway surged flesh out from within its cement skin to grasp and clutch and squeeze.\n\n\"Now that's what I've been waitin' for!\" Zinc cheered.\n\n[b]BBBRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!!![/b]\n\nA low, agonized groan came from beneath them. The road had sent out its bloody tentacles to capture the insects, and now their metal-spitting scorpion tail was chewing through them like a lead lawnmower.\n\nZinc watched blood fly like confetti as he razed the tentacles on every side of the car. \"GIVE UP YET!?\" he hollered.\n\nJunella could not wait to be off this road, even if all she had to look forward to was the acrophobia of Lumbago. There were no more 'good' places left on the path; just trading one rotten situation for another. Looking ahead, she nudged George into the right lane and goosed him for more speed.\n\n\"[i]Hey, Toby![/i]\" she called out. \"[i]George too! This is important! Once we go off that ramp, you gotta close your eyes and keep 'em closed.[/i]\"\n\n\"That probably won't be hard,\" said Toby, rather relieved at being given permission to cower.\n\nA note of worry was in George's voice. \"Madam Brox, I have neither eyes nor eyelids. I'm not sure I would be capable of 'closing my eyes'.\"\n\nShe gritted her teeth. This could be a deadly problem. \"[i]You'd better think of a way real quick. Because each lane on that ramp points towards a different place. You only get there if you don't see the crossover. If even one of us peeks, the magic doesn't happen and we plunge straight down. It's like how Santy Claus won't come down the chimney 'till you're asleep.[/i]\"\n\n\"Oh dear heavens,\" said George. He envisioned himself and his friends smashing to bits in the shattered ocean, no choice but to crawl the agonizing miles back to Ectopia Cordis on bloody hands and knees. And all because his species couldn't blink! He felt a thunderbolt of rage and frustration rip through him at the unfairness of it all. Then suddenly a perfectly simple solution kicked him in the head. \"This should work!\"\n\nJunella saw through the windshield as George pulled his skull back through the hole in the hood like a turtle.\n\n\"[i]It should![/i]\" she agreed. And that reminded her, \"[i]Doll? Burlap time.[/i]\"\n\nToby leaned over to grab the bag and scoop Doll inside. No time to waste looking away and letting her do it on her own. Safely covered, she gave him a thumbs-up.\n\nMeanwhile, Zinc was still trying to educate the freeway. His lessons consisted entirely of bullets. Tentacles were shooting up like weeds now. They'd become a forest if he didn't keep sweeping the gun back and forth to prune them. The tentacles speared towards them, seeking. They quivered and burst into frothy dreck as the bullets ripped through. The Fearsleigher was splashed with so much red it looked like it'd rear-ended a tomato truck.\n\nZinc happened to glance up ahead. There was only one thing that could have made him leave his perch on the gun. He saw it.\n\n\"Piff, take over for me!\" he yelped as he clambered off the pedals.\n\n\"What!?\" she squeaked. She'd been catching her breath since firing the spear and thought her part in all this was over. But the hamsterfly was loyal above all else, and in the blink of an eye she was fluttering roofward.\n\nZinc was poised at the edge, ready to jump down to the skate blade. He could see the tentacles rising up as soon as the bullets stopped. \"Just point, pedal, and squeeze! Nothin's easier!\" They were half a mile from where the offramp began to curve towards the sky. \"I gotta go chat with Junebug right this second.\"\n\nPiffle hefted her plump rump onto the gun. \"Ooof!\" She started pedaling as soon as her feet were in place, just as she was told.\n\n\"Thanks loads, kitten!\" Zinc leapt and landed on the skate blade with an impact that sent them swerving. \"Oh, and as soon as we're off the ramp, shut yer eyes and keep 'em shut if you like your ass uncontaminated by glass!\"\n\nPiffle rolled her eyes at him. \"Obviously!\" As if she'd never been on a perception-bent road before. \"Waddaya think I am, a tourist?\"\n\nThat got a grin out of him. Which grew even bigger when Piffle practically strangled the handgrips and sent a firehose spray of hot lead into the creeping batch of tentacles reaching out for them. 'My gun's in good hands,' Zinc thought to himself as he darted for the passenger door.\n\nJunella was less than happy to see him. \"[i]What the fuck you doin' not on the roof!?[/i]\"\n\nHe held up his wrenchhands. \"Chillsville! Piffle's got it covered. I just came down because you're in the wrong lane.\"\n\nThe road was starting to tilt upwards again. In less than a minute they'd be flying.\n\nJunella made a face like sucking lemons. \"[i]I am not.[/i]\"\n\nZinc reached for the wheel. \"Hate to break it to ya. Fifth lane from the left is where we wanna be!\"\n\nShe gnashed her teeth and slapped away his wrenches. \"[i]Fifth from the [b]right! [/b]I remember from last time![/i]\"\n\n\"That's what you [u]said[/u] last time!!\"\n\nToby had one hand over his eyes and the other holding onto Doll. The argument from the front seat was sending his confidence plunging.\n\n\"Which lane should I be in!?\" George wailed, starting to panic.\n\n\"[i]Keep it steady![/i]\" Junella commanded.\n\n\"Not if you don't want us ending up in the middle of nowhere! Or worse!\" Zinc shouted.\n\nJunella snarled, clutching the wheel like a mother lion protecting her cub. \"[i]I know this road! I've driven on it since before we even met![/i]\"\n\nPiffle was whizzing around like a helicopter blade and the tentacles still kept coming!\n\nZinc's heart was a jackhammer. \"Juney, I love you, but you're misremembering. We've only got seconds left to change course!\"\n\nToby stared in horror out the window, at the thumping, curling, dripping red arms converging all around them.\n\n\"[i]I REMEMBER JUST FINE!![/i]\" Junella screamed.\n\nZinc reached across to the dashboard. \"Really? Because you forgot to turn the headlights on.\"\n\nPiffle gushed a sigh of relief as the freeway shrieked in agony. The Himmelman 500 headlights blazed to life, burning through the tentacles in front of them like twin scalpels of fire.\n\nClearing away the creepers had also cleared the way to see how much of the ramp was left.\n\nAbout twenty feet.\n\nZinc's eyes widened and his ears flattened. \"Well this argument just became academic.\"\n\nSeconds later, George's wheels left the road and they shot towards the clouds like a bladed cannonball.\n\nToby's brain could not resist the morbid impulse to swivel his head towards the back window and watch solid ground recede away. He saw the blood tentacles writhing petulantly, cheated of their prey. But phasing through them fast came something else. Something that made his already-overworked heart thud faster.\n\nA shimmering ghost of the Fearsleigher. Following them.\n\nHe shut his eyes, for several reasons.\n\n\n***\n\nNothing below them but acres of air and an ocean of deadly, lacerating shards.\n\nToby heard the wind whistling outside the car. Felt the emptiness beneath their feet. Felt the cold chill of knowing that, in any world that actually paid attention to physics, the only place they were headed was straight down into glass. He had to trust faith that they'd end up somewhere less immediately fatal. Though, depending on whether Zinc or Junella was right about the lanes, that could be anywhere.\n\n\"[i]EYES SHUT!!![/i]\" Junella screamed.\n\nEveryone obeyed. Even Doll, inside her burlap, put her hands over her face.\n\nSuddenly there came a loud thump at the side. Toby thought at first they were being attacked in mid-air. A last grasp of the freeway tentacles? Instead, the wind howled when the door popped open and Piffle tumbled through. Toby could not stop himself from a split-second peek: one arm was over her eyes while she fumbled with the other to get the door re-latched.\n\n\"Did you actually just get back here from the roof, blindfolded!?\"\n\n\"Sure did!\" she said, panting a bit. She wiggled her antennae at him. \"Having an extra sense helps a bunch!\" The hamsterfly skootched in beside him, Doll between, and took Toby's paw in hers. \"One hand for my eyes, one hand for you. So we won't be scared.\"\n\nThere was no way a single touch was going to erase the tonnage of terror weighing down on his heart. But it did help a little. There was always the comfort of knowing he wouldn't die alone.\n\nSomething that also helped was the realization that they hadn't yet started to fall. Ever since they'd left the ramp, they'd been arcing up, up, and away. In fact, not only could Toby tell that they were still rising, their speed was [i]increasing.[/i] As if they'd passed close enough to a comet to hitch a ride in its orbit.\n\nZinc was not calm. He had no idea where they were heading, and to avoid the compulsion to look ahead and find out, he popped his eyes out and dropped them in his jacket pocket. His leg jittered, fidgeting. \"Christ, Juney, I hope I'm wrong and not you. I sure as shit don't want us ploppin' down in some place like Teratoma or Polydactyl.\"\n\n\"[i]We will be fine,[/i]\" she replied. Her tone was fierce, but there was a quaver in it. Her fingers had trembled over her grooves.\n\n\"Sounds t'me like you're not fully confident on that point.\"\n\nShe was glad he couldn't see, because she'd reflexively raised her hand to give him a needle-filled slap. But she stopped herself, singing, \"[i]You'll see. Any moment now we'll end up on the river bridge. Smooth as silk. Just like normal.[/i]\"\n\n\"For what it's worth,\" came George's muffled voice from inside the hood, \"if I was at fault in any way, I hereby apologize.\"\n\n\"[i]No, no,[/i]\" Junella reassured. \"[i]You were solid, slick, and superfine.[/i]\" She realized he'd been trying to take the heat off her and felt cruddy about that.\n\nPiffle spoke up. \"How much longer are we gonna be in the air?\"\n\nJunella bit her lip, feeling even worse now about acting like a brat to Zinc when they had an audience in the back. \"[i]Shouldn't be long.[/i]\"\n\n\"Does it...\" Toby started, not sure if it was worth mentioning or not, \"Does it mean anything that I saw, like, another us just after we went off the ramp?\"\n\n\"YOU [i]WHAT!?[/i]\" Zinc and Junella sputtered simultaneously.\n\nToby immediately regretted opening his mouth. Even with his eyes covered he could sense their incredulous looks. \"Maybe it was nothing! Maybe I was just hallucinating!\"\n\n\"[i]Let's say you weren't. What [/i][u][i]exactly[/i][/u][i] did you see?[/i]\" Junella demanded.\n\nToby could feel the car continue to accelerate towards wherever or whatever was pulling them in. \"It was like a mirage. The car, with us inside. Shimmery like a ghost.\"\n\nZinc sighed in relief. \"Allright. I thought for a sec the bastard ambulance that got a taste of us figured out how to copy the car.\"\n\n\"[i]Same here,[/i]\" Junella sang.\n\n\"So then what was it?\" Toby asked.\n\nPiffle squeezed his hand a little harder as a sudden memory poked her. \"Oh cripes, I might have an idea...\"\n\nJunella did not like the worried shiver in the hamsterfly's voice. \"[i]If you can contribute to this discussion, then please-[/i]\"\n\n[b]WHAMMM[/b]\n\n\n***\n\n\nEveryone's bones rattled. Their guts jumped. Their teeth clacked. Doll smacked into the ceiling and everyone's seatbelts nearly sliced them in half.\n\nFor a few moments they were all disoriented from the sudden resurgence of gravity. They had landed, but it hadn't felt like they'd smashed into the ground. More like something enormous had spontaneously appeared beneath them.\n\n\"Oh my tires! Oh my skull!\" George moaned.\n\n\"Is it safe to open my eyes now?\" Toby whimpered.\n\n\"Should be,\" Piffle said warily.\n\nEveryone checked themselves out, searching for broken bones or, in George's case, busted shocks. Everyone ached, but didn't seem to be grievously damaged.\n\nToby risked a peek out the window.\n\nWell, this was a pleasant change. Outside was the most refreshingly normal setting he'd seen in Phobiopolis so far.\n\nThey were in a wide field of healthy green grass, punctuated by perfectly average-looking trees, all spaced evenly apart. 'Must be an orchard,' he thought. The sky above was blue and bright, not abnormally overcast like everywhere else. About the only odd thing to note in this pastoral place; there sure were a whole lot of airplanes up there. Flying so high among the clouds they looked like specks. Like dust among cotton.\n\nThe air was quiet. Not even the sound of wind.\n\nToby felt his relief sour.\n\nNo, no, he couldn't be this lucky. This was just a mask, waiting to rip away and reveal this place's true, nasty nature. Just like everywhere else in this nightmare world.\n\nGeorge's skull cautiously emerged from the hood. His perceptions were keener than Toby's and he noticed right away there was something decidedly unusual going on here. The leaves of grass were all exactly the same shade. Not just mostly: [i]exactly[/i]. They all pointed in the same direction too. And there were really only two trees, one a bit shorter than the other. Both were copied over and over again endlessly, laid out in a grid stretching to the horizon. There was something wrong with the horizon as well.\n\nJunella leaned forward, scanning the sky. \"[i]See, Zinc? I told you I knew what lane we were in. I dunno how, but we must've skipped over the bridge and gone straight to Lumbago.[/i]\" \n\nZinc reinserted his eyeballs, took a look around, and cringed. \"You think this is Lumbago?\"\n\n\"[i]Sure, sure.[/i]\" Her song was not confident. She sounded like she was trying to convince mostly herself. \"[i]It's a part we haven't been to before, that's all. See? Look up. Sky's full of biteranodons, just like always.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle had been so busy tending to Doll, making sure her plastic companion hadn't gotten squashed on re-entry, that she hadn't looked outside yet. At the mention of biteranodons, she did. Her expression curdled into outright terror. \"I was right!!\"\n\nZinc turned around in his seat. \"Yeah, you were gonna say something 'bout that. Just before the ground interrupted us.\" His jocular smile died out in an instant as he saw Piffle's face.\n\nShe grabbed at his shoulder. \"This is a really bad place! We hafta get out of here [u]right now!![/u]\"\n\nJunella looked skeptical. \"[i]Doesn't seem all that bad.[/i]\"\n\nPiffle didn't even glance at her. She poked her head out the side window, staring up at the sky at the slowly swimming shapes in the clouds. \"Trust me. I found this place by accident one afternoon when I was trying to see how far up I could fly.\"\n\nThe wind arose, running its airy fingers through her hair.\n\nPiffle pointed skyward. \"LOOK!!\"\n\nThey all craned their necks. For a moment, none of them had any idea what had gotten Piffle into such a commotion. There was nothing alarming above them except the endless blue and the clusters of airplanes.\n\nThough, wait... Were the airplanes turning?\n\nSlowly?\n\nAll of them?\n\nALL of them!?\n\nIn an instant everyone understood Piffle's panic, as an uncountable number of nosecones turned to point towards the Fearsleigher. Zeroing in like a platoon of hunting dogs.\n\nAnd then they began to descend.\n\nA trapdoor opened under Toby's heart, plunging it down into cold blackness. Time slowed to a stop. He was frozen. Eyes wide, mouth gaping open. All those silent shapes up in the sky. Hundreds. Like a flock of birds communicating soundlessly mid-flight. They had all received some secret signal. Down below was their target. Hundreds of noses dipped. Hundreds of dark, birdlike shapes began to grow larger. They were no longer flying. There was no sound of engines. They were falling. Like leaves. Like javelins. They only seemed slow because of how far they had to fall.\n\n\"GEORGE, DRIVE!!\" Piffle screamed.\n\nHe did not waste a second hesitating. Tires growled on grass and flung dirt behind them as he dug in and peeled out.\n\nToby and Piffle nearly lost their heads as their necks slammed into the window frames.\n\nPiffle yanked her mouse friend back inside.\"Are you okay?\"\n\nThe mouse's vision swirled, but he managed to squeeze a sound out. \"...ai-airplanes.\"\n\nPiffle nodded. \"Yup. They've smelled us. It didn't take long, did it?\"\n\nToby looked again, hoping his eyes had lied the first time. No such luck. The sky was starting to dim with the presence of even more flying in from all corners of the sky.\n\nGeorge shouted, \"Madam McPerricone! Please let me know exactly where it is I'm trying to get to!\"\n\n\"Just drive straight!\" she yelled back. \"See how curved the horizon is? It's like a tiny little planet! The only way out is to circle all the way 'round and look for a shiny spot where we first showed up!\"\n\n\"C[i]an't we just turn back now and try to find it?[/i]\" Junella protested.\n\nPiffle shook her head. \"No dice. I tried that the first time. It's all-the-way or nothin'.\"\n\nThe vinyl skunk looked up through the windshield, seeing the swooping flock of white vultures getting closer by the heartbeat. Her face melted into utter regret and self-hatred. This was 100% her fault. Her stupid stubbornness. \"[i]George,[/i]\" she sang softly, \"[i]would you like to see just how fast you can pull this car? Because I think we'd all really appreciate that right about now.[/i]\"\n\nThe stallion had been feeling despair himself, but the request ignited a spark in him. On the freeway, he'd spent most of his time regulating his speed. Going fast, but not [u]too[/u] fast. It had been a torturous denial of his real desire: to go all out and really see what this new body could do.\n\n\"Madam Brox, I believe I would enjoy that very much.\"\n\n\"Brace yourselves!\" Zinc shouted.\n\nGeorge whinnied, blasted fire from his nostrils, and prepared to chase his limits.\n\nWhen he took off, the five passengers were all punched back in their seats so hard they saw stars.\n\nPast the Fearsleigher's windows, the trees became blurs. Brown and green smears. George's tires shredded the immaculate grass in his attempt to put as much distance between himself and the falling nightmares as possible. He knew from the curve of the horizon he could not circumnavigate this place quickly enough to evade the crashes entirely. They would come. At best he could get a head start.\n\nAbove, the planes fell without a sound. They were shaped like passenger jets, but their windows were merely spots on their hides and their turbines never spun. They were nightmare constructs in the skin of airliners. They would never carry customers or cargo. They did not even have mouths to devour their prey. Their single instinct was to spot a living soul and smash into it. Their minds were simple, even by nightmare standards: Seek. Drop. Embrace in fire.\n\nToby stared at the rain of aircraft. It brought him back to memories of sitting at his bedroom window, seeing helicopters and passenger planes skimming by through the clouds. Watching a faraway, toylike flying machine and having that awful thought of, 'What if it suddenly... fell?' To have that fear magnified a hundredfold right in front of his eyes was almost too surreal to deal with. From this distance, he had no sense of scale. But he knew how big an airplane was. He'd seen them on TV. A direct hit would obliterate the Fearsleigher and all its contents. There would be fire, smoke, and then a million bits of wreckage no bigger than a tinfoil ball.\n\nJunella stared straight ahead, hands at her sides, face slack. One hand weakly scratched her leg, \"[i]You can go ahead and say it, partner. 'I told you so'.[/i]\"\n\nZinc looked away from the approaching hellstorm, almost offended. \"You think I'm gonna gloat at a time like this? People make fuckin' mistakes, Juney. Boo hoo! George'll pull us through, we'll get back on the road, and that'll be the end of it.\"\n\nGeorge spoke up from the hood, \"I am glad to hear you have such confidence in me, Sir Zinc.\"\n\nZinc tickled the glove compartment handle. \"Shouldn't I?\"\n\nThat got a throaty chuckle from George. He appreciated Zinc's words, but couldn't spare any more attention on a reply. His focus was on the grid of trees. There was ample space between them for three Fearsleighers to pass side-by-side. But he knew this would not be a simple straight shot. There were ever more aircraft crawling in from every corner of the sky. All falling. He knew he would need to dodge impacts eventually. So he timed the trees. He would have to be very, very precise to thread himself through them. A crash at this speed would turn his passengers into paste.\n\nToby was terrified, as always, but showed no outward sign except for his stricken posture. His fate was entirely out of his hands. He was stuck in a metal box traveling at 200 miles per hour, targeted by a swarm of kamikaze nightmares, and he wasn't screaming. He felt like he [i]couldn't[/i] scream. Maybe he'd already reached the limit of what his mind could stand in Hypovolemia. Maybe he was just numb. 'Or maybe you're adapting,' a part of him whispered.\n\nHe did not see the first crash, but he felt it. A second later he heard it.\n\nA violent vibration shook the car, followed by a faraway boom.\n\nThen came a second. And three more, one right after another.\n\nThen more, and more. They were getting louder. They were getting closer.\n\nToby and Piffle could see, in the tiny reflection of the front seat's rear view mirror, that the trees behind them were turning into blossoms of flame.\n\nGeorge readied his shocks for a pounding.\n\n[b]SSSSSSHHHHHH[/b][i][b]THAMMMM[/b][/i]\n\nThe next plane hit closer than any of them were prepared for. Toby felt the Fearsleigher's back wheels lift off the ground. A shockwave grabbed him by the shoulders and shook. The window filled with searing orange. The sound nearly burst his eardrums.\n\nIn slow motion, in excruciating detail, Toby watched a turbine engine the size of a refrigerator sail past his window like a car in the passing lane. He could see the inner blades, the shredded skin, the mechanical guts, the tendrils of trailing smoke. Almost beautiful, like a painting.\n\nGeorge fought weightlessness, slamming his back end down on the ground where it belonged. He pumped more power into his all-wheel drive and kept on, steady as an arrow.\n\nAnd now the air rippled with the painful pulses of aircraft crashes all around them. Like a giant's footsteps. An apocalyptic drunkard wobbling around, stomping the forest flat with every burning footstep. Chunks of wing sliced across the sky. The colors of fire were everywhere.\n\nAntennae clutched in her fists, Piffle blocked her ears and tried to hide her eyes under her hat, shivering in her seat as one of her worst memories replayed itself.\n\nToby eventually noticed she wasn't holding his hand anymore. He was able to rip his eyes away from the ragnarok outside to see her curled up beside him, shellshocked. He wrapped himself around her in a hug.\n\nJunella had not said so earlier, but she could empathize deeply with Toby's frustration at the lack of control in a bad situation. She could only stare at the steering wheel in front of her. George was fully in the driver's seat here. She knew the highway, but she wouldn't have dared to try navigating through the trees like he was doing. Whenever debris landed in front of them like a blazing meteor, George would adjust course quicker than she could blink, zipping through the forest like a champion slalom skier. It was breathtaking. And his moves were not jerky either. She didn't go ricocheting around in her seat with every sharp correction. George wasn't just driving, he was [i]flowing.[/i]\n\nThe nightmare stallion's skull was empty. There was no room for thought. All energy was directed to pure automatic instinct. George was as mindless as his days before his burial. Only now, his purpose was to protect instead of pursue. All around him, explosions shoved at his sides and white-hot metal stung his skin. But he felt no pain. Pain was for later. Right now, all that existed was his vision and his wheels. He diverted course before he was consciously aware of doing so. His perceptions were a hundred feet ahead, trying to predict the debris before it fell. Playing chess with it. He had never felt more at one with the car. It was as if he'd been born in this body. Like his calcium had always been merged with steel.\n\nJunella and Zinc both jumped in their seats when the headlights came on by themselves and blasted a clump of fallen branches into charred twigs.\n\nThe mutt and skunk looked at each other. George was a quick learner.\n\nZinc looked towards the roof. \"I wonder if he can... No way, it's not-\"\n\n[b]BBBRRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!!![/b]\n\nThe canine's jaw dropped as he watched a falling chunk of fuselage get swatted out of their way. Shoved by a pummeling blast of bullets from the gatling gun.\n\nZinc stared, gobsmacked. \"I've been replaced by automation.\"\n\nMeanwhile, small burlap-covered hands were massaging Piffle's shoulders. The hamsterfly reached up to pat Doll's head, then thanked her with a kiss, though her gaze seemed glued to the floor. \"I was trapped here for hours. Felt like days. Months,\" she said in a husk of a whisper.\n\n\"We'll make it out,\" Toby assured her.\n\nW-E-W-I-L-L, Doll concurred.\n\n\"I know,\" she said, a tear falling from her ruby eye. \"I know we will now. We've got George. But back then it was just me by myself. The planes were falling all around me. I was so scared. I died so many times. It burned. Hellfire. I couldn't find my way out.\"\n\nToby squeezed tighter. He'd never seen Piffle this way. Even when Amaurosis Fugax had fucked with all their heads and hearts, this was different. 'There must be a limit to everyone,' he thought.\n\nThe hamsterfly stared hollowly at the car's floor for a long time, trying to block out the flashes and bangs from outside. But then out of the blue, a small smile broke through her clouds. \"Actually... I'm glad.\"\n\nToby was taken aback. \"How!? About what?\"\n\nPiffle sat up a little straighter. \"I'm glad I got snagged here before. I'm glad. Because, even though it was so awful and frightening, it taught me. I told George to drive. I gave us a head start.\" Sunlight broke over her face as she spoke, and she visibly returned to her normal self. \"Because of the first time, I knew how to get us out this time!\"\n\nToby was somewhat awed. Piffle's power to see the best in all things had been tested, and emerged victorious yet again. \"That's right,\" was all he could say.\n\n\"I dunno if everything happens for a reason,\" she said, \"but maybe there's always a way to take some good outta the bad if you can find it.\"\n\n\"Piffle, you are amazing.\" Toby leaned on her shoulder and held her tighter. Doll did too.\n\nA burning hot rivet crashed through the window like a bullet.\n\nPiffle shrieked, then realized she was unharmed. The rivet sizzled on the carpet and glass littered their backs, but it hadn't hurt anyone. She chuckled. \"Gee whiz, that was close!\"\n\n'And there she is, back 100%,' Toby marveled.\n\nMeanwhile, the driving was getting a bit more difficult for George. The crashes were coming closer, and quicker. He was having to dodge bigger and bigger chunks of wreckage. A swift diagonal turn kept a wing from clipping the gun turret off. Landing gear, seats, and other smaller detritus were knocked away by the nailplow. He was, at least, having success blowing up larger bits with the heated headlights and gatling gun, but it was a lot to juggle. Without fully realizing it, he'd been seeing 360 degrees by unconsciously appropriating the side mirrors as a second pair of eyes.\n\nWhen it rains, it pours. More and more planes fell from the sky. Arrows of steel and glass and fuel, turning the ground to craters and the sky to smoke. George’s only advantage was that, once the planes picked their target and started to fall, they couldn't change course. They kept hitting where the Fearsleigher had already been. It was child's play to predict where they'd hit. The problem was their sheer damned numbers.\n\nEvery window was shattered by now. Piffle, Doll and Toby were huddled densely on the floor while Junella and Zinc tried to shield themselves behind the dashboard. Occasionally they'd risk a peek outside. Every glance showed a worse hell than the last. George was doing the impossible, guiding them through an unfathomable inferno.\n\nShattered shards littered their backs with tiny cuts. Flaming hot debris hit the floor faster than they could chuck it back out. The forest fires' heat was making blobs of black vinyl drip down Junella's legs to pool on the floor mat. Zinc hissed in pain when an icicle of bent aluminum sailed through the empty window and into his shoulder.\n\nJunella reached out a comforting hand to him. Her voice was slurred due to melting. \"[i]How 'bout I buy dinner next time to make up for this?[/i]\"\n\nThrough his pain, he managed to grin. \"Sounds fair, babe. But this time I'm gettin' steak.\"\n\nThe endless green of this unknown planetoid had turned into volcanic reds. The trees were torches. More and more airliners seemed to spawn in the skies, relentlessly hammering down all around them.\n\nGeorge was running out of room to maneuver. The more crashes that came, the fewer options he had to avoid them. A scythe of fuselage tore a gash along his hood. Letting it wound him was safer than getting too close to the impact blasts on the opposite side. Pain was easy to ignore. He could be repaired. His priority was his passengers. And though he knew they could resurrect, there was a principle involved.\n\nWhat drove him more than necessity was guilt. His memories replayed at the back of his thoughts: the long nights when he and his old herd would stalk, trample and devour unwary souls. How he relished the sensation of a mighty hoof crushing a spinal column. But he was something new now. To banish his old self, he had to drown it in fire. Every slash and dent in this beloved metal form was penance. As if he were reaching back into the past to take the suffering from his long-ago victims and place it upon himself where it belonged.\n\nHis pinprick eyes blazed brighter and hotter than the headlights. His body was illuminated with purpose. Trees and wreckage scattered away from the force of his bullets and plow. His wheels were like water. Shifting fluidly, drifting, skating frictionlessly between the trees. He had attained the same state of perfect purpose as Zinc slipped into when he'd been chopping down the mall.\n\nAnd then something ahead grabbed his attention. \"Madam McPerricone!!\" he bellowed.\n\nPiffle's head popped up. A smoldering piece of wood grazed her pith helmet. \"Need some help, George?\"\n\n\"You said you saw a shimmer where the exit was?\"\n\nHope rose in her heart. \"Yes! Like a wobbly place in the air! Like a funhouse mirror! I could see back home through it!\"\n\nFar ahead, hundreds of feet away, something glimmered like a ripple in a pond. George corrected course and made a beeline for it.\"It lies ahead!!\" he shouted triumphantly.\n\n\"YES!!\" Piffle exploded.\n\nZinc and Junella dared to look. They could see it too, the shimmer.\n\n\"Go for it, George!\" Zinc cheered. \"You're faster than the Daytona 500! Faster than a space rocket! Faster than the motherfuckin' speed of light!!\"\n\nGeorge had a straight shot. Plenty of splintered tree trunks and twisted, flaming airliner corpses along the way, but nothing he couldn't handle. He aimed for the shimmer and focused his attention in all directions around it, making sure the path was clear.\n\n\"Damnation,\" he snarled.\n\nOne last jet. Maybe smarter than the rest, maybe just lucky. But it was on target to impact the ground mere feet in front of the shimmer. It would hit before they could get through. George saw the wind tearing chunks away from its aluminum hide as it plummeted. Saw its expressionless black windows. It would eviscerate them.\n\n\"My companions,\" George spoke, \"any spare willpower you could lend me right now...\"\n\nHe didn't even need to finish his sentence. Junella gripped the steering wheel in her melting hands, pushing her soul into it as hard as she could.\n\nThe others saw and followed. Zinc clamped his wrenches on the dash and doorframe. Toby wasn't sure where or how to help, but he scooped up Doll in the crook of his arm and they both touched the side door.\n\nPiffle laid hands upon the front seat headrests. She had her eyes closed, ignoring the battlefield outside and the shaking of the car. All her thoughts were on George.\n\nDid he feel more power surge into his wheels? Did he just imagine it? Did their confidence and support help him find hidden reserves?\n\nGeorge did not know. He only knew that somehow, his wheels seemed to glide easier. The air resistance lessened. His speed crept past what he thought had been his maximum.\n\nHe became a bullet.\n\nReality seemed to warp around him. The trees were not just blurs, but swirls. All sound vanished. George's sense of touch melted away. Nothing mattered except racing that plane to be first through the shimmer. He was literally trying to outrun gravity.\n\nGravity was a hard opponent. The feral airplane began to slowly spin, then pick up speed, turning itself into a gigantic drill bit.\n\nThrough the shimmer, George could see vague images of concrete and white stripes.\n\nZinc's wrenches dented the doorframe.\n\nPiffle kept her eyes shut even when her hat caught fire.\n\nToby looked out through watery eyes. They were flying through a furnace.\n\nThe shimmer was a hole through reality. A wobbly-edged funnel through which light and matter melted and curled inward.\n\nTwo hundred feet away... one-seventy... one-thirty... eighty...\n\nThe airliner was close enough for George to see the seams in its metal nose. Its hollow black eyes seemed to grin at him. It was a shark. They were its minnows.\n\nGeorge felt the limits of physics holding him back by the shoulders. He snorted fire in defiance and shook them away.\n\nThe shimmer was so close he could smell it.\n\nThe airliner loomed.\n\nJust before he shot through, George could swear he felt something scrape across his roof.\n\nThen he was surrounded by some uncanny ether, like reality made liquid. He and his passengers stared in astonishment as time slowed to a stagger.\n\nBehind them, the airliner dove nose-first into the dirt, its seams splitting, its panels shearing away, vomiting fire from its metal intestines. The sound was slowed and muffled. Impotent. The shockwave of the crash did little more than nudge them.\n\nTheir attention was elsewhere anyway. They saw, through the flickering, flowing walls of the shimmer, themselves. Up ahead on the offramp. About to go flying off into the sky to land on an unknown sphere where airplanes fell.\n\n\"Is that what you saw, Toby!?\" Zinc breathed.\n\nThe mouse was pretty sure his heart had stopped, but tried not to let it bother him. He could see through the shimmer, across the concrete, through the back window of the Fearsleigher, into his own wide eyes. \"Sort of,\" he croaked out.\n\nThe slo-mo ended just as suddenly as it began. They were shooting up the offramp at several hundred MPH. George's tires caught fire from the friction of the concrete.\n\nNo time to celebrate. Junella and Zinc both broke free of their awestruck paralysis to slam their hands down on the steering wheel and shove the car into the correct lane. No disagreement this time.\n\nThe blood tentacles were so flabbergasted they didn't even try to stop them.\n\nFor the second time that day, the Fearsleigher zoomed off the edge of the offramp like a shuttle to the moon.\n\nThey were all too dumbstruck by their escape to do much more than stare out the broken windshields as they sailed weightless through the air.\n\nDoll suddenly covered her face with her hands.\n\n\"Oh crap, that's right!\" Toby shouted, nearly dropping her in his haste to get a paw over his eyes.\n\nThat reminded everyone, and in an eyeblink Junella had ducked her head under the dash, George retreated into the hood, Piffle hid behind the front seats, and Zinc threw his eyeballs into the glove compartment.\n\nToby could still envision the expression on his face, staring out from the back seat at himself staring back at himself. \"So... time travel. Does that happen often in Phobiopolis?\"\n\n\"[i]Two words,[/i]\" Junella replied, \"[i]FUCK and NO! Whatever the hell that was, Zinc and I've never seen it before, and that's saying something![/i]\"\n\nA voice from under the hood: \"To be perfectly honest, Sire Toby, neither have I.\"\n\nToby didn't know how to feel about the fact that there were things in this land that went beyond the knowledge of even his fearless companions.\n\n[b]thump[/b]\n\nThere was a minor jolt, no worse than a speed bump, and suddenly they were perfectly stationary. Before he opened his eyes, Toby could smell salt and feel moisture in the air.\n\nHe raised his head. Outside was a shimmering blue blanket that stretched as far as the eye could see.\n\n\"The river bridge,\" Zinc introduced.\n\n\n\n\n-***-\n\n[b]Part Fifty-Three[/b]\n\n\nToby guessed that \"the river bridge\" was a name chosen out of ironic inappropriateness, or simply because it sounded good. It was certainly a lot better than, \"the bridge hanging out by itself smack dab in a kazillion miles of open water\".\n\nIt was conspicuous in its normalcy. Six lanes, surrounded by crisscrossing diagonal support beams and gleaming white guardrails. Many structures in Phobiopolis appeared ancient or timeless, but the river bridge looked like someone had reached down to Earth, picked up a modern-day highway bridge by its trapezoidal handle, then plopped it down in a giant bathtub. \n\nOn all sides was a proper ocean. Water, not glass. The surface was a rich, intense blue, like lapis lazuli. The water rolled and sloshed. Its waves were content and lethargic. The air was invigorating, full of salty smells and soothing sounds. Toby knew in his gut that there were probably all sorts of untold horrors lurking just below the surface in the unseen deep, but for now, the water was calm and pretty, and that was just what his nerves needed.\n\nPiffle pulled her arms away from her face like a self-unwrapping Christmas present. She poked her head up, periscoping around. \"We made it!!\" she shouted joyfully. \"We're all still here!\" She swept Doll into her arms for an extra-big hug, then pounced on Toby and peppered his cheek with kisses.\n\nJunella flicked a short smile in the direction of the rear view mirror.\n\nGeorge took in a deep sniff of sea air and sighed deeply. He was banged up, pockmarked, overheated, and his wheels ached like hell, but he was happy. He'd fulfilled his mission. He'd raced against impossibility and won. He'd pulled off a genuine miracle. No need to brag about it to the others, but he did cheerfully dwell on the pleasant feeling for a while. \"I hope everyone inside me is relatively unscathed?\" he asked.\n\n\"Near 'nuff,\" Zinc said, pulling out the shard of fuselage. \"You did a fuckuva job back there, George. You beat the devil.\"\n\nThe car rocked side to side a bit as the praise made him wiggle in happiness.\n\nPiffle's smile was gargantuan as ever, but Toby could feel her muscles fluttering. She'd really been shaken by the experience, and her relief eclipsed even his. He gave her another big squeeze, then reached for the door handle.\n\n\"[i]I wouldn't do that if I were you,[/i]\" Junella barked.\n\nToby looked up, a little shocked. \"What did I do? I was just gonna go thank George.\"\n\n\"[i]Nothin' wrong,[/i]\" she reassured. \"[i]And I think that's something we all ought to do. Just not [/i][u][i]yet[/i][/u][i]. Wait for the spinning to stop.[/i]\"\n\nWell that was a nice little chunk of dread to fling at him. \"What spinning?\"\n\nZinc checked his seatbelt again, just to be sure. \"Oh, you'll see in a moment.\"\n\nGeorge snorted. \"Botheration. More perils?\"\n\n\"[i]Naw. This is the easiest part of the trip. Just keep still. You'll know exactly when it's safe to move around,[/i]\" Junella replied.\n\n\"All bridges take you somewhere. This one just does it more literally,\" Zinc quipped.\n\nThe bridge was not free-floating. It did not shift with the waves. It was anchored to something deep below. Soon they felt a shudder come from beneath. Some great mechanism struggling to life. The water began to bubble at the sides of the bridge.\n\nThe juddering increased until everyone in the Fearsleigher was holding onto their seats and trying not to bite their tongues. Then some unfathomably huge cog below them managed to finally overcome inertia and engage. Waves crashed and water splashed up onto the road surface. As if attached to some gargantuan drive shaft, the bridge began to rotate. Slowly at first, like a ferry pulling out of the harbor, but then it began to gain speed.\n\nToby held Doll tight in his lap, ashamed that he'd let her go bumping around the interior before. He could feel the rotation of the bridge starting to churn his stomach acid. He had a feeling that if he ever went to a carnival, he would not enjoy the rides.\n\nGeorge could feel increasing G-forces tugging at him. \"I'll slide right off!\"\n\n\"No you won't!\" Zinc reassured. \"Just keep cool and ride it out!\"\n\nFaster and faster they spun. The water turned to sprays of white foam all around. The bridge's unseen mechanism made deep, rumbling roars beneath the water. Sounds that vibrated through the asphalt and up their spines. Everyone in the car was leaning hard to the side as the velocity of the spin kept rising and rising.\n\nRising and rising... literally!\n\nToby felt the difference when the harsh shaking of colossal machinery smoothed away into a stable spin. He could see the horizon drop outside and feel the change in weight beneath his feet. The bridge was flying! The machine below had spun it up to speed like a gyroscopic top, and now they were whirring in place, hovering above the surface of the water!\n\nThe river bridge continued to ascend. Floating on thin air, held aloft by momentum alone, it climbed to twenty feet above the water, then began to slide sideways. Without any landmarks around, their direction was unknown. But the bridge seemed to have one in mind.\n\nJust when the spinning was starting to become unbearable and Toby was worrying he'd need to whip off Doll's bag to be sick in, he felt it start to ease.\n\n\"R-r-right on t-time,\" Zinc stuttered.\n\nAs slowly as the spin had begun, it reversed. But only for the car and its passengers. The bridge itself was still impersonating a berserk merry-go-round. Yet through some inexplicable means, the Fearsleigher's rotation steadily decreased until it finally eased down to a perfectly smooth stop, leaving all of them frazzled but unharmed.\n\nIt didn't help Toby to look out the window and see the bridge still buzzing in circles around them like they were its axis. Had a section detached to stop them spinning? He hadn't felt anything like that. It seemed like they were gliding in place on a cushion of frictionlessness.\n\n\"This is more like it,\" Zinc said. He popped his door open. \"Now we can get out and stretch our legs.\"\n\nToby was about to cry out, worried the centrifugal force would fling Zinc away like a tornado.\n\nInstead, the canine calmly stepped out onto the skate blade. He gave it a stomp. \"Rock solid. Anyone wanna join me out here? Great weather for a beach party.\"\n\nJunella slid out to join him. She stood up and cricked her back. \"[i]Uhhhgh. Fuckin' seat...[/i]\"\n\nPiffle perked up. \"Let's go give George a hug!\" She opened her door and, with a mischievous grin, grabbed Toby by the shoulders to yank him and Doll out with her. A short squeaking flight later, they were plopping down on the hood. Piffle crawled on all fours over to the stallion's skull and threw her arms around it, bombarding George with love. \"You're the tops, Georgie! I love ya to the moon and back! Thank you, thank you, thank you!\"\n\nThe construct was delighted. \"Goodness, Madam McPerricone! You will make me blush!\"\n\n\"Then we'll both be pink,\" she said with a giggle.\n\nToby looked over the hood to see the white lines on the asphalt whizzing around underneath them. They really were keeping still in one spot while the entire bridge rotated around them. \"How...?\" he muttered to himself.\n\n\"C'mon, Toby! Get over here and hug this horsie hero too!\"\n\nHe chuckled. \"Just a moment, Piffle.\" He was still holding Doll and tried to keep her safe while scooting himself in tiny, careful steps across the hood.\n\nI-C-A-N-D-O-I-T, Doll spelled out.\n\n\"Well... okay.\" He didn't want her to go skidding off and get flung across the ocean, but he also didn't want to overprotect her. He set her down on her little plastic feet and, without an ounce of fear, she toddled over to join Piffle's hug. 'I have literally less courage than a baby doll,' Toby thought, feeling his cheeks flush. He awkwardly shuffled over to give the skull a pat as well. \"You're really something special, George.\"\n\n\"Thank you very much for saying so, Sire Toby. I was just as surprised as you at how far I was able to exceed my own capabilities. I am glad we all made it through safely.\"\n\nAt that, Toby looked down to the gash in the metal his hand was resting upon. He sat up, finally taking in the damage the airline nightmares had wreaked.\n\nIt was bad, but not as bad as he'd imagined. Every single window was completely gone. The paintjob was scratched all to hell. Uncountable divots, shrapnel holes and slashes. But the Fearsleigher, and George, remained structurally intact. They'd lost every one of the nightmare-repelling plushies though. (Toby thought that must have happened a lot earlier, considering how up close and chummy the ambulances were acting back on the highway. Or maybe they were just too mean to be affected.)\n\nZinc balancing himself with his wrenches at the far edge of the skate blade, leaning far back to survey the aftermath. He whistled. \"Luck? Skill? I dunno what you've got George, but I'm impressed as hell by it!\"\n\n\"[i]That goes double for me,[/i]\" Junella sang sincerely. \"[i]Thank you for pulling us out of my stupid mistake.[/i]\"\n\nAny remaining pain from his battle scars faded to null. George was awestruck at this outpouring of gratitude. He didn't think his species could cry, but he wouldn't have minded if he did. This was such a new feeling from anything in his old life. He felt overwhelmed, unprepared, and deeply appreciative. \"You are all welcome. I did my best for you, and am glad it was enough. We are all together, safe and sound. I could not be more pleased.\"\n\nZinc nodded. \"Now, while we've got time, let's see if we can't get a few repairs in before land ho.\"\n\nPiffle kissed George's temple. \"Absotivey posilutely! We'll give you the royal spa treatment!\"\n\n\"That would be simply stupendous, Madam McPerricone.\"\n\nZinc popped into the back seat to root around for supplies. Amazingly, the cornucopia had survived. Splintered and stepped on, but still intact. \"Eyyy! Anyone else for a snack? Stress makes me ravenous.\" He reached inside and the first thing that touched his hand was a pack of Red Apple cigarettes. He looked surprised, but not too surprised. He stared at the pack for a moment with wistful nostalgia, then turned and chucked them far into the ocean. He went back to the cornucopia and this time found a wrenchful of red licorice. \"That's more like it.\"\n\nThe dented cornucopia was passed around. Toby calmed his nerves with a can of cool rainwater.\n\nGeorge turned his head. \"I do not require food or drink, Sire Toby, but I think I would find it rather refreshing to have some of that poured on top of me.\"\n\n\"No problem.\"\n\nToby upended the rest of the can over George's skull and the bonecuddy sighed blissfully. \"Mmmm. More please?\" he gently requested. Toby and Piffle both pulled out cans and started giving their nightmare friend an invigorating shower.\n\nSoon Zinc whistled for them. \"Time to punch the clock, comrades.\"\n\nPiffle jumped off the hood and flitted right over, eager as could be. \"Whaddaya need me to do?\" Zinc said her wings would be perfect for the job and presented her with what looked like a toothpaste tube. She knew just what it was for and buzzed on over to the back window frame, starting to squeeze out liquid glass. Junella selected a soldering torch from the mat, grabbed Toby's seatbelt, secured herself, and hopped off the blade to dangle below.\n\nZinc noticed Toby was standing on the edge of the hood and staring down, trying to build up the courage to jump to the skate blade. \"Lemme assure you that your worst fears are completely founded.\"\n\nHis head jerked up. The whirling pavement was mesmerizing. \"Um, don't you mean 'unfounded'?\"\n\nThat grin again. \"Nope!\"\n\n\"I thought not.\"\n\n\"Our first time through here, I got some real bad stupid in me and thought I'd hop outta the Killcanoe and check out the scenery.\" He made a gesture with his wrenches like flicking a marble: \"P'chooo! Straight off the side! I managed to grab onto a chain and was dangling at the end of it for dear life! The spinning nearly knocked my whole face off!\"\n\nToby's eyes were wide. \"Geez, how'd you get back on?\"\n\n\"I didn't! I fell off and died,\" he said nonchalantly.\n\nFrom below came Junella's voice. \"[i]You cannot believe the pain in my ass trying to rescue him. I had to drive the car off the bridge, splash down, hunt around with the metal detector, throw out some rope, then wait for his dumb dead ass to reanimate so he could clamp hold of it.[/i]\"\n\nZinc busted a gut laughing. \"Neither of us can swim worth shit! I sink like a rock and Juney's too buoyant. All she can do is float like a rubber duck. I hadda lock my wrenches on the rope and get towed to shore, drowning to death every coupla minutes!\"\n\nJunella could not help a snigger.\n\nToby was once again discombobulated that they could be so jolly about something that would have been a psyche-destroying nightmare for him.\n\n\"By the way,\" Zinc added, \"you don't have to jump here from the hood. Try sliding down through the busted windshield.\"\n\nToby looked to his right and, indeed, there was a perfect pathway there. 'Great, now I feel cowardly AND unobservant!' The little cubes of spilled safety glass made him nervous, but he'd rather deal with them than jumping.\n\n\"In fact...\" Zinc had an idea. He dug into the storage space and brought out a shopping bag. \"Here ya go, boss. You and Doll can fill this up with all the glass bits and other crap. That way you can help out without having to watch the bridge do the twist.\"\n\nToby took the bag. \"That's very considerate of you.\"\n\nZinc punched the mouse's shoulder. He smiled, and this time it was completely genuine. Like how a big brother might smile. \"I tease ya, but it does take some time buildin' up an immunity to this place. The constant horrorshow. You're coming along a lot better than you probly realize, Toby. You're a different mouse already from when we first met.\"\n\nToby felt warm. Part of him wouldn't believe Zinc's kind words, but the rest of him was simply grateful. \"...Thank you.\"\n\nThe canine grinned. \"Besides, this leaves all the fun jobs for me!\" He lightly tugged on the mouse's tail, then snatched up an imaginite welding cannon and gave it a few loud revs.\n\nToby chuckled and went to work.\n\n\n***\n\n\nUnsurprisingly, Doll was very good at hunting down all the little bits of debris that were hidden beneath the seats. Toby did his best as well. If he couldn't be brave or skilled, he could at least be meticulous. No cube of glass or scrap of metal escaped his sight.\n\nThey all chatted as they worked. Though Junella not so much, as she tended to have her hands full most of the time. They could all hear her climbing around below the blades, her torch going 'fwoosh' and sending bits of slag dripping down. George cooed and squirmed the whole time. The heat eased his tension marvelously.\n\nIn between zaps from his cannon, Zinc gobbled more illusory snacks and rambled on about whatever topic came to mind. He talked about some of the nightmare beasts they might face ahead, about his favorite music, about past jobs, and about how he could see up Piffle's skirt whenever she flew by. She made sure to wiggle her fanny at him a few times. She also helped Toby by flicking loose bits of the old windows into his bag as she filled in new ones.\n\n\"It gets off to a rough start, but man does this bridge save time,\" Zinc said. \"I'll take a short whirly flight over hours of boating any day. No clue why this's here or how it works though. Some say all of Phobiopolis was a blank sheet until people started exploring it. That whatever they expected to find out here was what they found, and it stays like that because everyone else who comes by expects it to too. I can't cogitate on eggheady stuff like that for very long. Like, if we'd all concentrated real hard on landing on a giant rib roast instead of a bridge when we left the offramp, would it change?\"\n\nToby chuckled at the image. \"Don't ask me. I'm just vacationing here.\"\n\nThinking about geography reminded Zinc of something else. \"Say, that place with all the airplanes... That's not on any map I ever seen.\"\n\n\"I bumped into it near Stoma. Maybe it moves around,\" Piffle said.\n\n\"Like a moon,\" Zinc considered.\n\nThat was a bizarre idea, Toby thought. A moon that orbited within the atmosphere. But it certainly wasn't too impossible a concept compared to everything else in the realm. \"Do you think we're the first to discover it?\"\n\n\"By the law of probability, nah,\" Zinc said. \"Although...\" A lightbulb went off above his head. \"...we might be the first to claim credit! Hot damn! We could get our names in the hist'ry books!\"\n\n\"That'd be swell!\" Piffle said.\n\nHe bowed to her. \"And you're the one who found it first, so the honor of naming it would go to you.\"\n\n\"Me?\" Piffle fidgeted bashfully. \"Golly, I wouldn't be able to decide on a name for a whole big moon. Toby? How 'bout you?\"\n\nHe set down his bag (which had gotten pretty full, he was proud to say). \"Me?\"\n\n\"Sure! You told me about how you used to get the sniffles all the time. I'm sure you'd know lots more medical words than I would.\"\n\n\"Yeah,\" Zinc added, \"you could uphold the Phobiopolan naming tradition better'n any of us.\"\n\nBoth the canine and hamsterfly were surprised when this suggestion sent Toby rigid with shock. The mouse froze with a rictus stare, like he'd just had cold water splashed over him. \n\nPiffle fluttered down to touch his shoulder. \"Toby? Did I bring up bad memories or somethin'?\"\n\nHe was still staring off into space. \"No, no... It's not your fault, it's just...\" The mouse seemed to be coming awake after a sudden, intense hallucination. \"It's just that I'd been noticing it all along. The names. Everywhere we've been to, it's all been old, obscure names for diseases and injuries and things like that. Even the words I'd never heard of, I could guess they followed the same pattern. I'd actually been keeping my mouth shut about it this whole time.\"\n\nPiffle cocked her head. \"Why?\"\n\nToby looked embarrassed, uncomfortable, and strangely guilty. \"I thought... It's crazy, I know, but I thought that it was just too perfect a coincidence. Someone like me, who's had every illness under the sun, somehow ends up in a place where everything's named after illnesses? I thought maybe it was a sign this was all a dream. Maybe this was all here for me. Like, I'm in a coma somewhere and making it all up as I go along.\" He shook his head. \"I don't know why it seemed to make sense, but on some level I was convinced that, so long as no one ever brought it up, I could keep holding onto it as 'proof' none of this was real.\"\n\nPiffle's antennae drooped. \"Sorry to pop your bubble.\" She leaned in for a hug.\n\nHe patted her back. \"No, it's okay. I kinda already knew I was lying to myself. No dream I've ever had has lasted this long or felt so real. And honestly, I'm glad in a way. I'm glad you're all real.\"\n\nZinc and Piffle smiled at him. George craned his neck to do the same. Doll lightly touched Toby's arm. And beneath the car, Junella chuckled silently.\n\nToby went on. \"I'll even admit, there's some parts of Phobiopolis that aren't so bad. Like all the food I've never tried before, and all the amazing things to see in Coryza and EC. But... can you blame me for holding out hope that maybe I'd just wake up one day? That I wouldn't have to keep on trudging to Anasarca, chased by monsters and ambulances and airplanes and things?\"\n\n\"Yeah, I copy,\" Zinc said softly. For just a moment, he looked out past the clouds. \"Though I dunno how it got in your head that us not talking about the names proved you were havin' naptime.\"\n\nToby sighed. \"Dream logic, I guess? It was like I knew a secret everyone else didn't, and they [i]should[/i] have been, and that didn't fit, so...\" The theory seemed to make less sense the more he tried to explain it. \"...So it really is just a coincidence.\"\n\n\"They happen,\" Zinc said with a shrug.\n\nSomething else occurred to him. \"Actually, now that I think of it, the only place I've been to that I know breaks the pattern is Phlogiston. I saw that in a book. It's a nonexistent substance people used to think made things catch fire.\"\n\nZinc suddenly looked sheepish. \"Yeah... heh heh. Juney and I chose that when we moved in. We were kinda cocky and wanted to claim the place for the queen of Spain, get me? But we, ah, misremembered what the word meant and by then it was too late. We'd already painted the sign.\"\n\n\"And misspelled it,\" Toby remembered. \"'[i]Baware[/i]' of Tinder Fingers?\"\n\n\"Hey, I was still teaching myself to write with these things!\" Zinc clanked his wrenches. \"I was paying more attention to penmanship than spelling. Heck, for how clumsy I was back then, that sign's a flippin' masterpiece.\"\n\nPiffle giggled behind her paws.\n\nShifting the focus, Zinc pointed out, \"You never did give us an answer, Toby. Naming rights to a moon. Anything that strikes your fancy. What'll it be?\"\n\n\"Uh...\" The mouse sputtered for a second. He put his trash bag aside and cleared his mind, trying to remember a lifetime's worth of doctor's appointments. All the long, complicated names of conditions he'd once had. He'd neglected to mention what was truly the best about Phobiopolis. He was healthy here. He'd been symptom-free for so many days now, he was beginning to forget what sickness had felt like.\n\n\"Kartagener,\" he said absently. It came to him without thought as he rustled through his big box of diseases. \"From my Kartagener's Syndrome. It sounds as much like a place as anywhere else, I guess.\"\n\n\"I think it's a very nice name,\" Piffle said. \"Prolly too nice for a place like that to deserve,\" she added.\n\n\"Kartagener it is then.\" Zinc leaned over to pluck an ice cream cone for Toby from the cornucopia. \"Mazel tov.\"\n\nToby took a lick and Piffle darted in to steal one too. They both giggled.\n\nThen they were interrupted by George clearing his throat. \"Excuse me, but I have been waiting for a natural break in the conversation to point out that I believe I can see our destination.\"\n\nEveryone craned their necks.\n\n\"And congratulations, Sire Toby. It is a fine name.\"\n\nToby gave the window frame a 'thank you' pat.\n\nPhobiopolis was back to doing its unseen scene transitions. Toby wondered if the scenery waited for everyone to be distracted before it changed, or if there was a fuzzy place in the middle where one place blurred into another. Either way, the bridge had carried them very high up into the sky amongst endless foamy clouds of fog. Many yards ahead, just barely visible, was a dull orange rock formation. A lone pillar amongst cotton candy.\n\n\"Looks like we got just enough time to pack up the tools 'fore we dock,\" Zinc said.\n\n\"I'm almost done with the windows!\" Piffle said, dashing back to work.\n\nBelow, they could hear Junella's torch roar its raspy hiss. \"[i]Just a few more spots, Georgie-sugar. I'll get you all patched up 'n shipshape.[/i]\"\n\n\"I appreciate everyone's attention very, very much,\" he told her.\n\n\"[i]Least we can do for my favorite tank,[/i]\" she replied.\n\nToby handed his bulging trashbag to Zinc. \"Here. I think Doll and I got everything.\"\n\n\"Good job, both a ya.\" He gave Toby his equivalent of a thumbs-up (extending the screw on his wrench), then patted Doll on the head.\n\nShe seemed a bit stunned at the friendly touch.\n\nOnce Zinc had clambered up onto the roof to feed the garbage into the casing chute, Toby bent down and whispered to her, \"I think you're starting to fit in.\"\n\nShe looked up to him. It was hard to read her expression from the tiny eyeholes in the bag, so she bent over and scribbled on her pad for a moment. She handed Toby the paper:\n\n\"I'm HAppy. ALL I've wANTed THIs wHoLe TIme Is To NoT maKe peopLe scareD.\"\n\nToby gave her a warm smile.\n\nShe put her writing pad away and opened her arms.\n\nToby picked her up and sat her on his shoulder so she could see across the rolling white mists. \"We'll get you all fixed up when we reach Anasarca. I'm sure Aldridge will be able to help.\"\n\nDoll nodded. B-O-T-H-O-F-U-S, she spelled.\n\n\"You can be who you used to be, or choose a whole new look. But you'll have a face again. And a voice. I don't know if I can promise it, but I'll do everything I can for you to make it come true.\"\n\nA tiny finger wrote on his shoulder, T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U-T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U-T-H-A...\n\n\n***\n\n\nPiffle, Doll, and Toby were all buckled in for docking. They could see the rock plateau much clearer now. It was the color of pumpkin pie and, though there was no telling how tall the pillar was, the space on top was roughly equal to a parking lot. (Though not EC's.) Junella and Zinc weren't in their seats. They stood on either side of the front doors, gazing ahead through the fog and hoping to spot any danger signs before they became actual danger.\n\nGeorge was feeling rather well, all things considered. A nice clean interior, new windows, and most of his scars sealed over. He was slightly embarrassed to be seen in public with a ruined paint job and flecks of silver sealant along his hide, but he reasoned to himself that performance was more important than looks.\n\nThe river bridge's spinning slowed steadily. It eased up to the rock plateau and finally bumped against it with barely a jolt. Like it'd done this a thousand times before.\n\nJunella thumped the roof. \"[i]Roll out, George! Before it decides we want to head back for a swim![/i]\"\n\n\"Straight away!\" Though when he rolled forward he winced, as his tires were still a bit sore from the rough ride Kartagener had given him. Thankfully the flat, sandy rock was not too coarse beneath his tender treads.\n\nOnce they were off, the river bridge waited around a few moments more, as if checking whether anything else wanted to debark from it. Then it gave a shrug as if to say, 'Not my problem', and began again to rotate. The six travelers watched it spin back up to its previous velocity and vanish away into the clouds. Piffle waved out the window and thanked it.\n\nJunella hopped down from the skate to scout around, making sure everything was as she remembered it from last time. No more unexpected unpleasantries. She drew in a deep breath through her nose, then coughed. \"[i]Yep. Same stink.[/i]\"\n\nThat left Zinc to resume his role as tour guide. \"Welcome, welcome, welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the charming vacation paradise of Lumbago! ...And yes, it actually [u]is[/u] Lumbago this time.\"\n\n\"[i]I heard that![/i]\" Junella barked.\n\nZinc 'tee-hee'ed. \"Scenic land of ten-thousand birdshit-splattered rocks, with creaky rope bridges as far as the eye can see. If you're afraid of heights, well then, tough titty said the kitty.\"\n\nToby made a face. \"I think I'll be staying in the car.\"\n\n\"Y'sure? This next part's kinda fun.\" Zinc got a manic gleam in his eye. \"Watch this!\" He jumped down from the blade with a dusty thump and ran off across the plateau.\n\nToby leaned out the window and held Doll where she could see too. Outside, a half-acre of rock was the only visible land. There could have been innumerable pillars like this all around, but if so, the mist was hiding them like a miser. Toby wanted to believe it was just a whole lot of ground fog, but from the harshness of the wind he felt sure they were literally walking among the clouds.\n\nA thought struck him out of the blue: how were they going to get the Fearsleigher down from here? Unless another bridge was due to show up soon, they'd been marooned on a towering stone finger hundreds of miles in the air. Maybe Zinc had an idea. And maybe-\n\nWait.\n\nWas Zinc running straight towards the edge of the plateau!?\n\nZinc's tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth, flapping in the breeze. His feet pounded rhythmically against rock. He kept his gaze locked ahead, not paying attention to the fact that there was nothing visible ahead but clouds.\n\nHe ran at full speed onto nothingness.\n\n\"Zinc!!\" Piffle shouted.\n\nToby clutched the windshield.\n\nZinc kept running.\n\n\"[i]He's doing that thing again,[/i]\" Junella commented with mild irritation.\n\nThe ground left him behind. The wind whipped through his cheekfur. It made his ears and jacket flutter. His heart was beating hammerstrikes against his ribs. Zinc blocked out everything else but momentum. He kept straight for a few yards, then dared to curve his path a little, back towards the rock. It'd been a while since he'd done this.\n\nToby's jaw was hanging open. The world had turned into a cartoon on him. Zinc was acting out the scene where a villain would run off a cliff, then remain in the air for as long as they didn't look down.\n\nThough looking closer, that wasn't the case. Toby could see blurs of motion below his canine compadre. As Zinc made a looping turn back towards the car, thin pillars would shoot up to meet every footstep. Like he was running across a path of stepping stones, but they only existed for the exact split-second they were needed.\n\nPiffle cheered wildly as Zinc zoomed in for a landing. He was panting hard, gaze frenzied. The moment he was back on terra firma, he slid to a stop and bent double, wrench-hands on his knees, sucking in huge lungfuls of oxygen.\n\n\"Holy... moley... macaroni!\" he moaned, \"I forgot... how fuckin' THIN... the AIR is... up here!\"\n\nHe looked for a moment like he might pass out, then he gulped down one more gasp and stood up in a 'tada!' pose, a goofy grin on his muzzle.\n\nPiffle clapped her paws pink. \"Woo hoo! That's [i]stupendous[/i]! How in the world didja do it?\"\n\n\"No trick, really,\" he rasped as he started dragging his tired pelt back to the car. \"The rocks pop up automatic-like. All you gotta do is keep running. But that's also the tricky part, 'cause you don't dare stop. One hesitation and down you go.\"\n\nToby was speechless for a moment at Zinc's stunt. Then an absolutely awful thought occurred to him. \"Waitaminnit! We're not all gonna have to run across to get where we're going, are we!?\"\n\nZinc chuckled at how the mouse's panic had made his voice rise an octave. \"Naw, naw.\" He was starting to get his breath back to a normal rate. \"Vehicles work fine. You can stay in the car.\"\n\nAll of a sudden, Toby felt sheepish about that. \"I mean... maybe I could do it. If I really tried.\"\n\nZinc waved away his worry. \"I have a policy against wasting my time on false bravado. I suggest you adopt the same. Fact is, what I just did is as difficult as it is stupid. I'm a [i]professional[/i] moron, remember? Try it sometime: do one thing, continuous-like, without the slightest skip. It's hard. And it's harder the more you try and concentrate on it.\"\n\n\"I can imagine,\" Toby said. \"Like dumbfounding.\"\n\nGeorge nodded towards the group. \"I should think I will be able to accomplish such a task with relative ease,\" he said. Then quickly added, \"Not to brag! I am merely acknowledging that nightmare constructs are naturally skilled at being... single-minded.\"\n\n\"Good to hear,\" Zinc said. He ducked under the car, then popped up on Junella's side, hoisting himself up on his elbows. \"You were always good at it too, partner. Whattaya think? A race? Me and you?\"\n\n\"[i]Across the canyon!?[/i]\" she sputtered. She flicked her scarf over her shoulder in annoyance. \"[i]Zinc, after all that hardship on the highway, I don't want to do anything but sit. Take it easy for a while.[/i]\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"Perfectly reasonable, perfectly reasonable. I understand if you're too weakened from all the excitement...\"\n\n\"[i]Now you wait just a minute![/i]\"\n\nZinc tried to keep a straight face. \"No, no, Juney! It's all copacetic! You have yourself a little relax. After all, fursons your age do need to rest more frequently.\"\n\nJunella very nearly blew flames out of her ears.\n\n\n***\n\n\nIt was breathtaking to watch them run.\n\nToby was spectating out the side window while George powered across the canyon. Junella and Zinc were bounding ahead of them at a steady pace. The carrot-colored pillars sprang up perfectly beneath their feet, fast as bullets. Toby had no idea how they worked or why. He wondered who had discovered them, and was able to guess how that first encounter had gone. Piffle was zipping along behind the racing pair, humming an energetic melody to spur them on.\n\nZinc's strategy seemed to center on distraction while Junella was pure focus. The canine joked with Piffle along the way, laughing, singing; whatever he could to keep his mind too busy to think about what he was doing. He wanted his feet on autopilot and his brain engaged elsewhere. Whereas Junella kept her movements robot-rigid and her gaze locked on-target. Her eyes looked like painted marbles. While Zinc was trying to win through a separation of mind and body, Junella's mind was a taskmaster with a whip, forcing her vinyl to perform to perfection.\n\nToby found himself wondering what was happening beneath the Fearsleigher. When one is thousands of miles high, one takes an interest in what is holding themselves up. He leaned out of his seat as far as he dared, but the skate blade was blocking his view. Finally, he asked George what he could see up front.\n\n\"Nerve-wracking, Sire Toby!\" the stallion replied. \"Two lanes of stone appear beneath my tires and vanish the instant I'm off them. They blur, but I believe the pillars are laid out very closely together in a hexagonal pattern. For efficiency, no doubt. I much prefer driving on a surface that I am certain exists before I set hoof upon it.\"\n\nToby gazed ahead. With the wind whipping at his nose, it was more noticeable how much the air up here really did stink. Like a spice rack overrun with rot. Maybe the clouds were made of something other than water vapor. 'There's a thought that'll do nothing but give me stress.'\n\nMeanwhile, Zinc could feel his lungs starting to burn. He was drinking down air in open-mouthed chugs, but his lungs were still hungry. He looked ahead through the clouds. He thought he could see a darker place, but whether it was land or an illusion was unknown.\n\n\"Hey Juney, how you holdin' up?\" he asked. He tried to sound casual, but there was a wheeze to his voice.\n\nShe did not waste momentum on speaking. She merely turned her head and gave him a small, sharp nod. Her movements were still those of a tireless machine. Inside her mind though, she felt like she was barely holding herself together by strings and rubber bands. This race was a dumbass idea. It was not the breezy blow-off activity she'd expected when they'd started. Her only strength right now was that she had a better poker face than Zinc. She told her legs that they'd damn well better keep going unless they wanted to be ferried to shore by Piffle, who'd be singing the entire time. That thought coaxed a bit more cooperation out of them.\n\nZinc had been sure it was just his mind giving him false hope, but no. That dark patch ahead wasn't disappearing. Hard rock at last! He cautioned himself about getting too happy. It wouldn't matter how close the finish line was if he got overeager and missed a step.\n\nBut then he saw movement within the dark patch.\n\nHe blinked, trying to make it be a trick of the eye.\n\nNo. Something was definitely walking back and forth in there. Something tall and stoop-shouldered.\n\n\"Junella...\" He was too winded for more than a hoarse whisper.\n\nThis new development complicated things. Although really, there was only one thing to do. Zinc knew his partner would call him a cheater for this, but oh well.\n\nJunella noticed Zinc swinging his wrenches back and forth now. Big, apelike lunges to hurl his weight forward faster. 'Trying that trick on me? Oh you mutt...'\n\nZinc could see the shape in growing clarity as he drew closer. Junella hadn't noticed it, her focus was still on winning. Zinc shoved his strength into his arms. Back... and FORTH, back... and FORTH. When he thought his rhythm was dead-on, he kicked forward in a long jump and swung his wrenches in a circle, pounding himself forward through the air.\n\nPiffle gasped and zoomed after him.\n\nFor just a moment, Zinc was flying. He looked below, saw nothing to catch him, and found the strength to cycle his wrenches around one more time. It was just enough of a kick. His feet skidded onto sand at an awkward, painful angle, but his toeclaws held.\n\nThe shape's head jerked towards the sound.\n\nZinc rolled with his momentum. As soon as his stance was solid, he held his wrenches out to the sides, signaling danger to everyone behind him.\n\nA second later, Piffle bumped into his steel barrier. \"What's...\"\n\n\"Shhhhh,\" Zinc said immediately.\n\nThe clouds stopped right at the edge of the rock like a misty wall. Breaking through, the thing that had caused the urgency in Zinc's voice was now revealed. Once Piffle saw it, she had no problem obeying his order.\n\nPissed as a polecat could be, Junella arrived in second place. She was just about to start cussin', but her anger was immediately jettisoned by the sight of the creature before her. 'Twelve hopping fucks,' she thought. Her hand sought her cutlass reflexively.\n\nZinc shook his head at her, expression saying, 'Not yet.'\n\nThe situation had suddenly turned very bad for George. He could see three of his passengers standing still just ahead, and he was barreling towards them, nailplow-first. Something very messy was about to happen unless he took drastic action.\n\n\"Hold tight!\" he called to his passengers, and took a big risk.\n\nHoping the pillars would remain in place beneath him, he hurled his entire weight sideways. His wheels slid like ice, but retained momentum, and whatever force guided the rock pillars seemed to count this as fair. So instead of falling, he drifted. And instead of crashing into ZP&J with a wedge of spiky death, he skidded in flank-first. The skate-blade swooped inches above the trio's heads and swatted off Piffle's hat.\n\nGeorge could barely believe he'd done that. Two of his tires were on solid ground. The others jutted halfway past the cliff's sheer edge, dirt trickling out from beneath. And no one had died! He allowed himself a moment of pride.\n\nToby went from amazed to terror-stricken in exactly as long as it took for his eyes to travel from the skate blade to the unspeakably ugly beast standing mere feet away from it.\n\nIt seemed stunned, confused. That was very good because it bought Zinc precious time. Normally these things pounced at the first sound of footsteps. But there had been three sets, and it was not sure which to devour first, and then a very loud thing happened that scrambled its primitive mind completely.\n\nIt was a biteranodon. Their first encounter with one had been as an entree on Piffle's plate. Now they were seeing one in the flesh.\n\nSix feet tall at the shoulder. Eight, if you counted the head. It covered itself in a trenchcoat of its own folded wings. Battered, matted, flaking things that looked like shedding leather dipped in crude oil. Its feet were enormous Xs, covered in hard scales and curled talons. Its head was the crescendo of its horror, for its name was a descriptive double pun.\n\nPicture the distinctly elongated, triangular head of a prehistoric pterosaur: the scissor-like beak with its tiny, hooked teeth. Now imagine a mirror placed across this image horizontally, creating a center jaw with teeth above and below. Three pieces in total. Like the bowl, seat, and lid of a toilet. Two tongues, two throats, uncountable teeth.\n\nSuch a configuration left no room for anything but mouth. The thing had no eyes, just two round dents in its bald, buzzardish head where they might have been on a saner creature. It swung its head back and forth on its desk-lamp neck, listening at the place where it had moments ago heard prey.\n\nIt stank. This was where the smell was coming from. Toby had smelt this hideous bird from all the way over on the plateau. Like hot garbage left at the curb for a week. Like a dumpsterload of expired meat. Toby did not need to be told to keep still, or recognize the way the blind beast searched for them with its ears. Its stench alone was enough to gag him silent.\n\nJunella, Zinc and Piffle had all gotten the wind knocked out of them by George, but had suffered nothing worse than bruises and dirt smears. They watched the nightmare bird. It shuffled from foot to foot, its mouths opening and closing, exhaling hot gas so vile it was visible.\n\nThe biteranodon made a series of '[b]cuk cuk cuk[/b]' sounds, like radar pings.\n\nBarely a whisper, Zinc said to Piffle, \"In hindsight, I probly shoulda warned you about the local wildlife.\"\n\nGaze fixed ahead, she nodded. And then the hamsterfly remembered the clothes she was wearing. What her role in this expedition was. Moving as silently as she could, she stood up.\n\nZinc reached out to stop her, but she was already padding towards the thing. Nothing he could do now but follow her lead.\n\nJunella mouthed the words, 'What the fuck is she doing? Trying to make it her pet!?'\n\nKeeping her eyes on the beast, Piffle picked up her left foot with utmost care, placed it without a sound, then picked up the other one. Her breathing sounded as loud as an accordion to her, with her heart an accompanying tympani.\n\n\"Hey there, Mr. Parakeet,\" she said shakily.\n\nIts double-jaws snapped at the sound. It took a step forward. It swiveled its skull back and forth, waiting for her to speak again so it could triangulate her.\n\nSweat was swimming down Piffle's forehead. The biteranodon loomed, much taller than her. She could only imagine what it concealed beneath those wings. She wondered which mouth would start eating her first if she messed this up.\n\nShe looked in all directions, thanking luck for her multifaceted eyes.\n\nWhen the others were ready, she spoke again. \"I'm right here.\"\n\nHer first sound had sent the creature into high alert. Its nerves were taut as violin strings. At this second sound, it lunged forward like a cobra, both mouths open.\n\nPiffle saw three silver flashes in her peripheral vision. Then blood was pouring down onto the rock at her feet.\n\nZinc and Junella had positioned themselves just behind Piffle's shoulders. When the biteranodon's head shot forward to clamp down on its prey, Zinc had swung both of his wrenches in a double arc to pulp its skull between them. In almost the same instant, Junella's cutlass had opened its throat, just to be sure. Congealed blood, thick with tumorous chunks, spilled out like a toxic faucet.\n\nPiffle backed up, Zinc let go, and the dead thing fell forwards to smack wetly against the rock.\n\nZinc took in a very long, deep breath. \"That... was not a parakeet.\"\n\n\"You said it, brother!\" Piffle agreed, trembling. She wiped her feet on the dirt, backing away from the blood.\n\nJunella watched the creature for a moment more. It spasmed once, but that was just a death twitch. When she was sure it was fully dealt with, she turned around towards the Fearsleigher, beckoning everyone closer.\n\nGeorge was more than happy to scoot away from the precipice's edge. He opened his door for Toby to emerge.\n\nThe mouse hopped down carrying Doll. His eyes were still glued to the dead dinosaur-thing. He was stunned by the speed Zinc and Junella had shown, and ashamed he'd done nothing to help. Though, was there anything he [i]could[/i] have done besides keep quiet?\n\nJunella waited for their attention. \"[i]Biteranodon,[/i]\" she sang in a teacher's voice. \"[i]Smelly. Ugly. Hungry. If you look up you will see lots of them. They're blind as baseball bats and just as stupid, but as you can guess, they hunt by sound. They don't usually enter the clouds because it's like acid on their skin. From here until we get to Fistula, we will stay in the car, and we will keep our voices down. We had to kill this one quick because even a single squawk will bring the rest of them down in the nastiest family reunion picnic you've ever seen. Comprendo, muchachos?[/i]\"\n\nToby nodded forcefully.\n\n\"[i]Not to scare you too much,[/i]\" she added as she sheathed her sword. \"[i]They're easier to kill than pickin' dandelions. But there's a [/i][u][i]lot[/i][/u][i] of them. I don't exactly relish the thought of having their stink on me all afternoon.[/i]\"\n\nJust to keep the dead one from regenerating, Zinc scooped his wrenches underneath and bulldozed it over the edge of the rock pillar. They heard it clunk against the side a few times as it fell, but the dull sound was no louder than Junella's song.\n\nToby looked up at the sky. He understood Junella mistaking Kartagener for this place. As thick as the sky had been with airliners there, here there were just as many biteranodons. They made lazy circles in the cloudless air, ears pointed towards the ground, listening.\n\nZinc gave Piffle a boost onto the skate blade. She pulled him up afterwards. \"You make great bait, Kate,\" he whispered.\n\n\"And you're pretty quick on the draw... I-Can't-Think-Of-A-Rhyme-For-That.\" She giggled and gave him a peck on the cheek.\n\nHe paused. For the first time he began to realize that maybe this had gone beyond play-flirting.\n\n'Would I mind that?'\n\nJunella jumped up and collapsed in the driver's seat. She could feel her calves pulsing angrily. First the race had drained her, then that bird had put her on nerve's edge. She felt like an empty gas can.\n\nZinc leaned in through the window. \"Y'know, I [i]did[/i] win the race.\"\n\n\"[i]By cheating,[/i]\" she pointed out.\n\n\"That's a matter of opinion. But even though the bet's off, could we possibly say that winners get to drive for the next little while?\" he pleaded sweetly.\n\nHer stare could have been packaged as pesticide.\n\n\"C'mon, Junebug! I knocked over a mall for us!\"\n\nShe stonewalled a moment, then considered that a passenger seat was a place she could relax. \"[i]Awright.[/i]\"\n\n'Tee-hee'-ing, Zinc took her place. He tried to conceal how tired he was too.\n\n\"[i]You're gonna bring up that mall thing in every argument we have now for the rest of our lives, aren't you?[/i]\"\n\n\"You betcher fur.\"\n\nOnce all his doors were shut and he could feel his passengers safely accounted for, George whispered, \"Do we have a direction from here?\"\n\n\"Pick one,\" the canine replied. \"No matter where you go it's like a funnel. It all ends up in one place...\" He grimaced just thinking about it. \"We've got a nickname for it: Hell's Arse.\"\n\n\"[i]Oh, it ain't [/i][u][i]that[/i][/u][i] bad,[/i]\" Junella groused. \"[i]Least it's quick.[/i]\"\n\n\"My arms melt every time we go in there!!\"\n\n\"[i]So do I, but you don't hear me bellyachin'![/i]\"\n\n\"You're not made of [u]metal[/u]! Stuff is painful!\"\n\n\"[i]And wax ain't!?[/i]\"\n\nToby got the impression he might want to put on some sunscreen before they arrived.\n\n\n\n\n-***-\n\n[b]Chapter Fifty-Seven[/b]\n\n\nWindows up. Doors locked. Everyone quiet.\n\nNow that the clouds were behind them, everyone could see they way forward. It was not a pretty sight. Drifting mist still clung to the air, but through it could be glimpsed dozens more skyscraping rock towers, all interconnected via a spider's web of rope bridges. Each bridge looked ratty, narrow, and fully exposed to attacks from above. George made careful calculations before tiptoeing onto the first one, making absolutely certain the skate blades would have clearance and not shear the linchposts off.\n\nToby watched the bridge sway with the wind. It was so very easy to imagine it snapping under George's weight. And how much [b]did[/b] George weigh? With five passengers inside him?\n\nAs if that wasn't enough of a worry, Toby became aware of something else. Bird droppings. Decades' worth. Greenish splats covered every inch of the pillars and bridges. Toby had never been more glad to be sealed behind glass. He could practically see the germs swimming around out there, just itching to crawl up the tires and march right into his mouth.\n\nGeorge's keen eyes scanned the horizon. He began to understand what Zinc had told him about how their choice of route didn't matter. From his current position there were several branching paths, but further away there were fewer and fewer. All routes converged to one point beyond his sight. A place Zinc had implied would be overbearing in temperature.\n\nNo one inside spoke a word. They were glued to the windows, unable to stop themselves from staring down. Even though Junella and Zinc had been through here before, it was impossible not to worry if today would be the day these old ropes finally gave up.\n\nGeorge was cautious in testing each bridge before setting tread upon them. He'd give the first few rungs a violent bounce with a front tire, feeling for any strain or looseness. Most seemed decently sturdy. He wouldn't have been confident tearing across them at top speed, but at a moderate pace he felt reassured enough. Though one time his test made the whole thing unravel in an instant. George watched the remains of the bridge swing down and away into the mist. Gone. 'Thank goodness there are four more to choose from.'\n\nThis was a shorter bridge, currently. Only twenty-three feet. Some of the ones he'd seen ahead connected far more impressive spans. The wind at this height was not inconsiderable, so he took his time crossing. He was very glad for his skate blades: they functioned like a tightrope walker's pole, keeping his center of gravity where it belonged. Relieved sighs came from his passengers whenever they felt solid rock beneath them.\n\nNot for long though. This plateau was puny. Only two bridges led away from it. George picked the left one, tested it, then headed across.\n\nToby didn't want to stare outside and think about plummeting, but his brain was being morbidly curious. Dread turned to disgust when he got a closer look at what the bridge's ropes were made of.\n\nHe remembered his bathroom at home. The shower. The monstrous tangles of fur that his mother would pull from the drains when they clogged. And it didn't matter what color fur went in: the clogs always came out the same sludgy black.\n\nThat kind of brackish, begrimed hair was exactly what the ropes were woven from. Grimy, tainted hair, accessorized with wads of crud. Oh lord, he could [i]feel[/i] that hair just by looking at it. His sadistic imagination pictured him being forced to walk across it in bare feet. [i]Squishing[/i] with every step.\n\nToby physically grabbed his head and turned it away from the window. The revulsion had been hypnotic. He needed something to knock the imagined texture out of his mind. \"Someone give me something else to think about so I don't get sick!\"\n\nJunella made a 'keep it down' gesture.\n\n\"Sorry!\" he squeaked. \"I just saw all that hair and...\" He gagged.\n\nJunella was sympathetic, but snickered anyway. She ran her hands along her smooth curves. \"[i]Thankfully, hair clogs are not something I have to worry about.[/i]\" She turned her head to Zinc. \"[i]...Unless HE gets in the shower before me,[/i]\" she said pointedly.\n\n\"Poor baby. Gotta deal with my shedding? Try the circus act of having to lather up using only your feet,\" he shot back.\n\nToby wondered about that for a second, then pictured the utter catastrophe of Zinc trying to maneuver his wrenches around inside a shower. There'd be broken tile and shampoo everywhere. That image distracted him from his disgust enough for a laugh to pop out.\n\nZinc was glad to see he'd lifted the mouse's mood. He reached below his seat and found a lever. The whole thing rotated ninety degrees so he could address the back seat more easily.\n\nJunella blinked. \"[i]They can [b]do[/b] that?[/i]\" She started fiddling around under her seat and was rather delighted when she found the lever. She only wished Zinc had told her about this earlier. No more stiff neck!\n\nToby liked the swivel-seat idea too. If they'd had a little table, they could have set up a card game between them. \n\n\"We're not gonna make the ropes any stronger by worryin' at 'em, so let's pass the time with some shit-shooting. For starters...\" he rubbed his neck, \"sorry about my unprofessional conduct back there. I should've warned you two about the birds before I went runnin' off.\"\n\nPiffle whisked her paw. \"Water under the bridge. I forget stuff all the time.\" She remembered wanting to play with Doll's hair and now was a perfect time for it. She asked her plastic pal if it was allright and received an enthusiastic nod. Soon Doll was unbagged and immobile, but enjoying the feel of Piffle's fingers on her scalp.\n\nToby nodded. \"I'm not mad either, Zinc. You've forgiven a lot of my screwups, and honestly, we just went through a horror highway and an airplane barrage. I can understand why you and Junella wanted to blow off steam. If this place didn't smell so bad, I'd be tempted to get out and stretch my legs too.\"\n\nZinc nodded appreciatively. \"Allright, I just hadda get it off my chest. It was unbecoming of a bodyguard-slash-tour-guide-slash-mayhem-artisté such as myself.\"\n\nToby laughed. He was glad they all were talking now. It was a heck of a lot better than just staring out the windows and fending off acrophobia. Another topic came to mind. \"Hey. Um. I was curious. When I go home, what do you guys think you'll do afterwards?\"\n\nPiffle's antennae poked up. \"I hadn't thought of that.\"\n\n\"I have,\" said Zinc. He reached in his jacket pocket for a blackened rag and started buffing his wrenches with it. \"The way I see it, assuming we get back down the mountain in one piece, we're gonna be hot shit supreme for having been there. Might even get on TV. It'll be good for business, that's for sure. I'm hopin' we can get enough imaginite pouring in, I can finally start work on my dream car.\"\n\n\"[i]You've been talking about it long enough,[/i]\" Junella needled.\n\nHe laughed because she was right. \"Everything I've built so far's been all about function. I wanna do something with [i]form.[/i]\" He gestured like a woman's curves. \"I want red paint, and so much chrome you could die. I want lines like ocean waves. Two big round 'hello sailor' headlights. Six axles! An engine that purrs like a cheetah! Huge fuckin'-\"\n\nA playful kick from Junella cut him off.\n\n\"Heh. Started workin' myself up a bit there.\"\n\n\"[i]You don't dream big enough, partner.[/i]\" Junella leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms behind her head. She looked past the ceiling to imaginary clouds. \"[i]We've done a lot together, and we've built a lot. But you've never made me something that [/i][u][i]flies.[/i][/u]\"\n\n\"I didn't know you wanted one,\" he said, sounding interested in the prospect.\n\n\"[i]I dunno where the idea came from. It's recent. Maybe I dreamed it, but... I got this image in my head of the Jennie-Mae, remastered. What if we fixed her up new? Gave her some lift?[/i]\"\n\nVisions of a flying pirate ship floated through everyone's minds. They all had to admit it was a pretty damn cool idea.\n\n\"Spose it's possible...\" Zinc muttered, already considering propulsion, aerodynamics and armaments. Once upon a time, their ship had sailed. Just a few feet of hover, but it was enough to get them place to place. Then an encounter with a wormhole and a raincloud had ended all that. He'd been meaning for the longest time to fix her back up, but there was always something else that needed his attention.\n\n\"[i]Possible or not, it's fun to think about,[/i]\" Junella sang languidly. \"[i]Maybe we could get George to power it somehow.[/i]\"\n\nFrom up front, George's trying-not-to-sound-too-excited voice responded, \"You [u]know[/u] I enjoy flying.\"\n\nShe liked that he was on board with the idea so quickly. It was pure fantasy, she knew. But if they were just throwing out wishes, why not? She glanced over at Piffle. \"[i]So then, shortcake, what about you?[/i]\"\n\nThe hamsterfly replied straightaway, not even looking up from Doll's hair. \"I'm gonna marry Zinc and settle down in a little cottage by the lake.\"\n\nZinc did not have any liquid in his mouth with which to do a spit-take, but he improvised.\n\nPiffle put her paws over her mouth to keep her laugh quiet. \"I'm just teasin'!\"\n\n\"Whew! Nearly had a heart attack there. No offense intended, but I don't see myself as the ball-and-chain type.\" He blinked. \"Plus, yeesh! Would our kids ever be [i]ugleee![/i]\"\n\nPiffle giggled again. \"Actually, I was-\"\n\nThe car came to a sudden stop.\n\nEveryone looked up and around for danger. But George wasn't sounding an alarm, so they eased back into their seats and relaxed.\n\nPiffle's gaze was still fixed out the window, just in case. \"I forgot what I was gonna say...\" She noticed her hand was still resting atop Doll's curly locks. \"What about you then? Do you have any plans after we reach the mountain?\"\n\nDoll couldn't answer, since she was currently being seen. So Piffle placed the little writing pad in her hands and covered her up with the bag again. The car was quiet enough to hear the scratch of pencil on paper.\n\nFinally, Doll poked Piffle and she felt a folded sheet pass into her palm.\n\n\"Izzit okay if I read it out loud?\" Piffle asked.\n\nDoll nodded.\n\n\"Okeydoke.\" Piffle inhaled and began to read with a smile, but that quickly evaporated as she heard what she was saying.\n\n\"I wAnT To Be A womAn AGAIn. I wANT To Be seeN. I wAnT To wALK oN NoRmAL LegS uP To THe man wHo LocKeD ME IN THIs BoDY & SpIT IN HIs fAcE. I wAnT To Be ALIve.\"\n\nThere were tears at the edges of Piffle's eyes when she finished. She leaned over Doll and cradled her gently, kissing the top of her head, unable to say another word.\n\nEveryone felt a shift in their attitude towards their plastic companion.\n\nIt was easy to think of her as a prop, a toy, a mascot. But there was a truer word for what she was: handicapped. Though her current form was a miniature mix of cute and grotesque, none of them really had any idea what she was inside. She was like a quadriplegic. Unable to move without special equipment. Unable to speak. Her silence made her seem less real than everyone else.\n\nPiffle felt sudden, intense guilt over treating Doll like a baby. Speaking to her in a cutesy tone, playing with her hair. As respectfully as she could, she lifted Doll from her lap and placed her at her side as an equal.\n\nThe burlap bag rustled. Soon another reply was pushed out.\n\n\"YOu meAnT nO DISReSPecT.\"\n\n\"I do care about you very much,\" Piffle said, nodding. \"I'm sorry if I forget sometimes you're not really a doll. Maternal instincts, I guess. I can't wait until you're whole and real again and we can talk together and I can hear your voice. I'm sure it's pretty.\"\n\nDoll reached out a burlap-covered hand to gently touch Piffle's thigh.\n\nThe hamsterfly smiled warmly and put her furred paw atop it. Then something moved in her peripheral vision.\n\nShe turned her head and froze.\n\nHer voice was hoarse and quiet. \"Oh Toby... you really don't wanna look out your window right now.\"\n\nZinc's attention had been on Doll. Now he looked to Piffle, then at the side window. He found it difficult to believe he hadn't seen the shadow crawling across the interior.\n\nIt was standing on the skate blade, listening to them.\n\nThe biteranodon had been hanging asleep below the rope bridge. Hours ago it had dived beneath the mist for a chance at consuming one of the rabbitlike constructs that roosted in the rocks. Now, with a full belly and too much cowardice to fly back up through the stinging fog, it had been waiting for more food to come along. Lo and behold, it had.\n\nEveryone in the car did their best impressions of mannequins.\n\nGeorge was in a panic. Shame and dread overwhelmed him. He had stopped cold when he'd heard the rustle of greasy feathers beneath his wheels, then felt the odious thing's touch upon him as it walked up from underneath the bridge. There wasn't a single thing he could do to stop it. And how could he give any warning to his passengers? He contemplated taking over the gatling gun again to blast it to shreds, but a noise like that would bring down all the others. He was between the devil and the deep blue sea.\n\nThe only motion inside the Fearsleigher was four pairs of eyes looking back and forth amongst themselves.\n\nBarely moving her mouth, Piffle said, very quietly, \"Maybe it will go away.\"\n\nBut that was unlikely. It had heard their voices already. That meant the big wheely box had food in it. The sounds had stopped, but biteranodons are not [i]quite[/i] so stupid as to think that an absence of sound means prey has vanished. The construct's head swung back and forth like a pendulum. It lifted one foot and scraped the talons across the window, listening for meatsounds of panic.\n\nToby did not make any, but holy hell did he want to. The nightmare's face was less than a foot away from his. The sunken, eyeless pits. Those tiny, yellowed teeth in agonizing detail. The biteranodon's rank breath began to fog the window. Toby watched its upper and lower mouths opening and closing like a double metronome.\n\nJunella looked tired already. Her needles skimmed delicately across her grooves. \"[i]I actually thought we were gonna get all the way across this time without having to go through the goddam duck hunt routine.[/i]\"\n\n\"We've never made it this far,\" Zinc said through gritted teeth.\n\nJunella exploded as quietly as possible, \"[i]IT'D BE NICE FOR ONCE.[/i]\"\n\nSlowly, slowly, slowly, Toby was extending his hand. He was opening his palm. He was feeling his hammer inside, nestled between his radius and ulna, readying it to come out.\n\nThe bird's head passed back and forth with an unreadable expression. It tried to bite through the glass but gained no mouthful of meat. It took a step back, looking vexed.\n\nEveryone hoped with all their heart this meant it was about to give up and fly away.\n\nActually, it had run out of patience.\n\n\"REEEEEAAAAAWWUUUK!!!\"\n\nIt reared back and slammed its head through the window, scattering sparkling shards like raindrops.\n\nEveryone screamed.\n\nIt was over so fast that, afterwards, Toby couldn't even describe what he'd done.\n\nWhen the glass exploded, he was already itching to deploy his hammer. When the ghastly bird came ramming through like a linebacker, Toby's hand shot forward to block. Pure reflex. His palm touched its dome. There was a sound like a gunshot.\n\nThe biteranodon's head [i]ceased to exist[/i].\n\nToby shrieked and bounded over Piffle. Aerosolized bird meat now painted the car's interior. The nightmare's body went limp and physics took over. Without a brain to hold it up, gravity took hold of the stinking corpse and yanked it right out the window, past the blade, then down, down, down over the side of the bridge.\n\nFor a moment, everyone was dead quiet except for the piston-thumping of their hearts.\n\nJunella's jaw was in her lap. \"[i]WHAT THE PISSING SHIT DID YOU JUST DO, TOBY!?[/i]\"\n\nToby was unaware he was still crab-walking over Doll and Piffle's laps. He just wanted as much distance between himself and that gore-soaked broken window as possible. \"I HAVE NO IDEA!!!\"\n\nWith Toby's hand squashing her face, Piffle hiccuped and blurted rapidly, \"[i]After Anasarca I was gonna move my mom and me into a nice house in Coryza and maybe get a job as a nurse!!![/i]\"\n\nEveryone looked at her.\n\nZinc blinked. \"Well that's very nice but...\" He looked up through the window and saw exactly what he expected to see. \"...we got incoming.\"\n\nThe biteranodons above had definitely heard the hullabaloo below. The flock was coalescing into a swarm. Their circling sped up, tighter and tighter. They began to descend from the top of the sky like the emerging tail of a tornado.\n\nToby became aware he was squashing his two friends. He jumped off, looking frenzied and helpless. \"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Oh my God, I alerted the birds, didn't I!? I made them come! I'm so sor-\"\n\nJunella slapped him, lightly. She grabbed his chin with one hand and sang at him double-speed with the other. \"[i]Not your fault. Shit happens. Cry later, action now.[/i]\"\n\nHe sucked in a deep breath. \"Thank you.\"\n\nA curt nod. Then Junella swung her chair back into position so the others wouldn't see the micro-burst of frustrated rage that passed over her features. Sometimes you just wanna relax and drive, and fate sends nightmare birds up your ass. She strategized for a second, then whipped back around towards Zinc.\n\nBefore her needle could touch a groove, he anticipated her orders. \"Me. Roof. Gun.\"\n\n\"[i]Exactly,[/i]\" she sang with relief, glad he was so dependable.\n\nJust as Zinc was stepping outside, Piffle sat straight up, electrified with purpose. \"I'll help too!\" she shouted, then whooshed out the door.\n\nJunella had been about to hand her a weapon, and instead gawked after her in disbelief.\n\nZinc watched her zoom through the air towards the swarm. \"Where the flyin' fuck are you flyin' to!?\"\n\nPiffle didn't hear him. The wind was already drumming in her ears and slicking her antennae back. Her wings blasted her towards the top of the sky, one fist held out in front of her, feeling an imaginary red cape flapping at her back. Her muzzle was set in a grim little smile. She was gonna teach these overgrown budgies it was impolite to scare her friends.\n\nThe swarm could not believe their luck. The smell of fresh meat was climbing right up to meet them! Beaks popped open, releasing screams of hunger. Biteranodons by nature are terrible hunters. On Earth their stupidity would have doomed them to extinction in a few generations, but Phobiopolis cultivated their desperation, keeping them on the brink of starvation to ensure berserker feeding frenzies.\n\nPiffle knew none of this. She powered towards her enemy, fueled by the boundless will that had seen her through countless other perils. A sky full of gaping, serrated mouths bore down upon her, and she was unafraid.\n\nWhen one bird was finally close enough, Piffle spun like a drill and punched it sideways, grunting with the impact. Then she turned to knock another out of the air. But more came. And the biting started. Piffle screamed.\n\nBiteranodons can clamp down with one mouth and start chewing with the other. Piffle struggled, twisted, punched and kicked, but her overconfidence had sent her into a whirlpool of teeth as surely as flying headlong into a garbage disposal. She watched her beautiful jacket getting shredded to ribbons. She watched her blood trail through the air.\n\n\"Thiswasamistake, thiswasamistake, thiswasamistake!\" she yelped. \"I'm sorry I ate one of you! Leave me alone!!\"\n\nTwo steel hands clamped down on two brass gun grips.\n\n\"Allright pidgies...\" Zinc breathed, \"...come and get your birdseed.\"\n\n[b]BBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!!![/b]\n\nBullets rained upwards into the swarm. The shadowed sky spat back clotted blood as a dozen birds burst. Earsplitting screeches of agony ripped out of the biteranodons as they fell. Piffle felt hope as she watched feathers fill the air. Not all let go of her, but at least one's head was bisected completely from its body.\n\nTwo steel balls shot out of Zinc's back, followed by several feet of heavy chain. Engines on his shoulders grunted to life. Before the doorknockers had time to fall, Zinc was whipping them around into a whirl. Twin cyclones on his arms.\n\nHe sure as shit wished Piffle had given him some advance warning, but at least she'd bought him a few seconds to get to the roof, get on the gun, and get into a killin' mood. His bared teeth flashed white lightning.\n\n[b]BBBBBRRRRRRRTTTTT!!![/b]\n\nMeanwhile, Toby had been stuck motionless, trying to decide if he should hide or help. He noticed Junella was just about to join Zinc in some target shooting. He lunged for her, grabbing her arm. \"What can I do!?\"\n\nHe'd asked instead of darting off like Piffle. She liked that. Junella looked the mouse up and down, cross-referencing him with the supplies behind the backseat. She briefly pictured him trying to wield one of the army surplus rifles she'd bought, and that beggared belief. She spotted his hip pouch. \"[i]Had any practice with those yet?[/i]\"\n\nToby patted the pouch, thinking about how dinky the knives and shurikens inside were. \"Will they do anything against biteranodons?\"\n\nShe clapped his shoulder. \"[i]They've got hollow bones and big ol' wings. How well can a kite fly with a rip in it?[/i]\"\n\nGood point. Toby nodded acceptance of his mission.\n\nShe nodded back, then leapt out onto the skate blade. Her white scarf fluttered behind her like a contrail. \"[i]Any of you beaked bastards shits on my head, I will personally return the favor!![/i]\" Her willpower filled both hands with revolvers. Fire and lead leapt from their mouths.\n\nGunfire deafened him. Toby turned and looked through the broken window, seeing the sky darken with even more incoming biteranodons. How many of them were there!? He flipped open his pouch and dug inside, trying not to prick his fingers.\n\nA tug on his leg. He looked down to see Doll, re-bagged, asking wordlessly how she could help.\n\nToby tipped his muzzle towards the backseat. \"Same as before I guess!\" he shouted above the sound of screeches and shots. \"Find me anything I can throw!\"\n\nShe saluted and began searching.\n\nMeanwhile, George realized that no one was listening to his apologies for letting that rotten bird get so close in the first place. They were all booming away like crazy. Which, he considered, was good. Better to take action than dwell on the past. That went for him too, so he fixed his sights forward, daring to increase their speed across the bridge as much as the swaying would allow.\n\nHe estimated they were halfway to their destination. The pyramid-shaped layout of bridges and pillars was narrowing towards its apex. Looking ahead, he could see that soon enough all routes would converge onto one last choice. From there the rock towers aligned in a row like stepping stones, leading to a place where the last bridge stretched across empty air into a flaming zero. A tear in the sky that spat bright sparks into this half of reality. George's nerves were on edge as he came to another bridge and tested its strength, trying to balance haste with thoroughness.\n\n'I am officially insane,' Toby thought. The wind pelted his face and sucked the breath from his lungs. He stood in the doorway, trying to force himself to step out and join the battle.\n\n'Stop being such a fraidy cat! You already did this before on the highway!'\n\n'Yes, but now I'm miles off the ground, held up by nothing but old hair!'\n\n'And before you were going at freeway speeds across concrete.'\n\nFine. He couldn't argue with that. He felt slippery metal beneath his sandals as he stepped onto the skate blade. He kept one hand glued to the door frame while re-thanking Zinc for the seatbelt winch. He looked up. Dread punched him in the stomach. There had to be millions of biteranodons up there. A tidal wave of oily flapping wings and trap jaws. All the bullets in the world couldn't hope to make a dent in their numbers!\n\n'NO,' he thought, physically pinching himself. He looked again. Between Zinc and Junella's guns, a heck of a lot of them were already plunging limply towards the ground. Piffle was circling like a ceiling fan, keeping them distracted. 'This is not hopeless, and you are going to help your friends right now.'\n\nKeeping his eyes skyward, his hand went to his pouch and he threw the first thing he touched. A miss. 'Doesn't matter. Try again.' He did. He plucked a silver star and let his arm uncurl towards the closest nightmare. He held his breath.\n\nA miracle happened. The shuriken ripped right through its wing like cutting paper, and the biteranodon screamed. It tumbled and flapped desperately, but all it accomplished was smashing into another of its kind. Both fell out of the sky.\n\nToby's eyes were wide as headlights. 'I just did that. I actually just...'\n\nA disbelieving grin came to his face and he started flinging metal as fast as he could fill his hand.\n\nPiffle was a pink comet. She'd learned her lesson trying to take them on directly. Now she was doing her best to out-fly the stinky chickens, leading them on a back-and-forth figure eight around the car. Anything to keep their attention on her and away from the others. She winced at the pain from all of the bites, but kept on flying. Zinc's hail of bullets followed her like a horse and cart.\n\nThe canine followed her flightpath, amazed by her determination and her trust in his aim. He moved his bullets smoothly like a finger through the sky. Tracing after her, hoping a sudden turn wouldn't put her in his line of fire.\n\nGeorge thought about diesel trains and tanks. He kept the Fearsleigher inching forward, but having to hold back his speed was driving him insane. He was keenly aware of every last knot and fray in the ropes beneath his wheels, always searching for instability. A lone biteranodon got past the barrage and dove straight towards him. He welcomed the chance to vent his frustrations. Opening his mouth, he unleashed a furnace-blast at the unfortunate construct. It screamed from both mouths as it fell towards the canyon, wrapped in hellfire.\n\nJunella did a beautiful little tuck-and-roll as the last bird she'd blasted was inconsiderate enough to fall straight down and smack into the spot she'd been standing in. She hit the side of the car, shoved off, and got back into position. She threw her guns away and was pulling the triggers on two new ones, all in one breath.\n\nToby watched with envy. He'd nicked a few so far, but nowhere near as many as Zinc and Junella. 'It's not a contest,' he reminded himself. 'Start feeling sorry for yourself and your aim'll screw up. Think of it this way: every one you kill is one less your friends have to deal with.' That did help. He didn't have to be the ultimate hero. This was a team effort. He reached back and felt something new slap into his hand. He glanced back. Doll had found some bigger knives for him. \"Thanks!\" He swung the blade to test the weight, then sent it sailing towards another bird. The biteranodon's chest opened up like unzipping a coat. Toby yelped in celebration, but then had to duck falling giblets.\n\nAll six of them were doing their part, but Zinc was racking up the most kills. Between his bullets and his shoulder-balls, he'd performed radical surgery on nearly sixty birds so far. He was absolutely [i]drenched[/i] in gore. It tasted like engine lubricant and raw turkey. Not bad.\n\nOne particularly skilled biteranodon was able to accomplish a sideways swoop that carried it low across the battlefield, straight at the meat creature covered in metal. Its back was turned. Perfect target.\n\nZinc brayed in shock as its talons tore through his jacket and into his shoulders.\n\nThe pain made him see stars, but in a heartbeat his madman's grin returned. \"Congratulations, shitbird. You win the idiot award.\"\n\nZinc retracted his doorknockers.\n\nThey were engineered by Dorster & Son to melt harmlessly through fur, flesh, and clothing. This did not include whatever happened to be in the way when this feature was triggered. So the biteranodon let out a very surprised shriek when Zinc became an egg slicer. Two heavy chains slashed laterally through its body, shearing its wings and spilling its guts.\n\nZinc cackled sadistically as the nightmare's screaming remains sloughed off like wet bags of tripe and toppled into the chasm below.\n\n\"THE GRIM REAPER BEGS FOR MY AUTOGRAPH!!!\"\n\nGeorge could feel Zinc's latest kill add its blood to the veritable topcoat of birdsludge he was now wearing. 'I fear I will never be clean again,' he thought with disgust.\n\nWhen her eyes weren't on the sky, Junella spared some glances towards Toby and realized the mouse actually had a decent arm on him. She decided to reward him. Ducking back through the door, she called out, \"[i]Doll! In the glovebox there's some round, white, egg-lookin' things! Get two and give 'em to Toby![/i]\"\n\nDoll was surprised to be addressed like a normal furson. She saluted and skittered across the car.\n\nToby had overheard. \"What are they?\" he shouted.\n\n\"[i]You'll see! Just give one a squeeze and throw it towards the biggest cluster of birds! And...[/i]\" Her sentence was cut off when another biteranodon dived towards her. A bullet through its ribs made it reconsider. \"...[i]And be careful! They're expensive!![/i]\" She'd really wanted to save the little whizzers for a special occasion, but right now, getting their asses to safety was good enough.\n\nSoon Doll had slipped two intricate ivory ovals into Toby's hand. 'Huh. Fancy.' They looked more like jewelry than weaponry, but he knew appearances were not to be trusted in Phobiopolis. He looked up towards the swarm, scanning. He squeezed one egg and pitched it high.\n\nThen his heart caught in his throat as he realized Piffle was zipping right towards it. He tried to scream to warn her.\n\nAs it turned out, he didn't have to. She saw something that looked like a ping pong ball coming up to say howdy, and then she was blinded by fireworks.\n\nToby leapt back by reflex when the little ball unleashed a lightning storm. Sizzling blue arcs of electricity hit every biteranodon close by, then jumped from one to the next in a chain. The energy sought out nightmare flesh like a magnet. Toby saw the constructs' chests swell up like microwaved hot dogs. They screamed shrilly as smoke poured out of their burning bodies. Then they all started exploding. Also like microwaved hot dogs.\n\nPiffle was right in the middle of the lightshow and felt the energy touch her, but it produced no more than a pleasant tickle. Whatever had just happened, souls were immune to its effects.\n\nToby clutched the Fearsleigher's frame in disbelief as he watched twenty-eight charred corpses come tumbling out of the sky like a hail of chicken nuggets. He reached down to tuck the remaining egg safely in his vest pocket. If these things could do [i]that[/i], he would [i]not[/i] let his next throw go to waste!\n\n\"[i]Fun toy, huh!?[/i]\" Junella called out to him.\n\nThe mouse watched dead birds smack with splattering crunches into all the surrounding pillars. \"Don't know if I'd call it fun. But effective? Holy shit, yes!\"\n\nIt was a valiant fight from everyone. Piffle was rattled by the lightning but kept on directing the swarm's attention in her back-and-forth loop. Doll dashed back and forth like a short order cook, finding new things to fling. Toby continued riding his adrenaline, hurling sharp things skyward as soon as his pouch reloaded or Doll restocked him. Junella's guns were small but her nerves were ice and her aim was godly. George was the envy of any dragon with his flamethrower nose. And Zinc was simply a merciless natural disaster wrapped in fur and streaked with blood.\n\nIt was a valiant fight, but a doomed one.\n\nNo matter how many geese they cooked, reinforcements were always inbound. They dived without heed towards the blazing guns, driven mad by the possibility of fresh meat sliding down their throats. Death was merely a speed bump to them. The canyon floor was so far below, a few birds resurrected mid-fall. Some were so disoriented they met a second death on the hard ground below. Others managed to get their wings outstretched to shoot back upwards and rejoin the chaos.\n\nThe travelers' goal was not to depopulate the area, only to get away. The flaming portal was within George's sight, but he couldn't move any faster towards it. The bridge beneath him was already swaying too much for comfort.\n\n\"OUCH!\" he roared.\n\nFuriously offended, George looked below to see beaks and talons holding onto the underside of the bridge he was currently on. One individual had sunk its fangs into his right rear tire. He snarled the ugliest curse he could think of and blasted a flood of fire beneath him. \"They are below us as well!!\" he shouted to his comrades.\n\nA second later, as the bridge caught fire, George was filled with regret.\n\nThey all smelled it. Few things in any universe smell worse than burning hair.\n\nGeorge watched the fire dance along the guideropes, spreading like luminous paint. He could feel the unraveling begin. He looked ahead to the next rock plateau. A perfectly timed surge from his wheels might just get them there before the bridge collapsed.\n\nIt was a microscopic fraction of a chance, but there was no reason not to try for it.\n\n\"HOLD ON!!!\" George shouted.\n\nHe clamped his brakes down, then flooded energy into the drive shafts. Release. Friction. Speed.\n\nGeorge dared to laugh as he rocketed across the rope inferno.\n\n[b]SNAP SNAP[/b]\n\n'Well, that's the end of that,' he thought with a resigned sigh.\n\n\n***\n\n\nThe strain from George's peelout had eradicated whatever structural strength the poor bridge had left. The Fearsleigher and all its passengers seemed to float in the burning air for a few moments before gravity's hand closed around them, pulling them straight down at a speed so fierce it nearly knocked them all unconscious.\n\nToby's stomach smashed against the top of his ribcage. He watched the second egg slip out of his pocket and hover before his eyes, weightless. All he could think was, 'Junella's gonna be mad if I lose that.' He reached out to snatch it and felt a wonderful moment of pride before the reality sank in that he was falling.\n\nPiffle and Junella reacted quickest. Piffle because she was the most used to falling, Junella because she, in her infinite pessimism, had been expecting this all along. The skunk let her current pair of revolvers fall upwards (there were about sixteen of them scattered around her feet that were now dancing through the air like confetti) and used her tail as leverage to lunge towards the open passenger door. She grabbed for the doorframe and sunk her needles in. 'Sorry, George.'\n\nZinc screamed down, \"Juney!! The blue button!!\"\n\nShe wanted very much to scream back, 'I'm TRYING!', but her hands were occupied with keeping herself from sliding upwards out of the car into empty air.\n\nJust as Toby was beginning to piece together the mystery of why his feet were starting to float away from the car, a bunch of funny black dots popped up all over his vision. Then his brain rolled over and tried to switch off.\n\nPiffle saw Toby's eyes. Zero expression. She changed trajectory in less time than it takes to say so. She swung herself around in a curve to build momentum and tackled the drifting mouse. She did not know his seatbelt would have saved him anyway, she only knew her friend was in trouble.\n\nThey somersaulted together into the car. The jolt of hitting his head on the backseat clicked Toby's brain back on. Without conscious thought, he grabbed the fluffy cheeks of his rescuer and crashed his lips into hers.\n\nPiffle sputtered for a few moments, then laughed out loud. \"Gee whiz, Toby! That's gratitude!\"\n\nHe laughed nervously. \"I c-can't believe I did that...\"\n\n\"But ya did,\" she said, and nuzzled noses with him. Piffle checked around the car for Doll. From inside the storage area, she got a burlap thumbs-up.\n\nMeanwhile, Junella's mouth was forming all sorts of fiery swears her hands couldn't articulate. She clawed and kicked like a wildcat, trying to swim towards the dashboard, casting her eyes back and forth for that goddamn button. She hadn't wanted Zinc to install it. She'd ignored a perfect time to use it on the highway. But now she had no choice. 'Of course fate wouldn't cut me some slack on this.'\n\nAmongst all the other dials and switches, she finally saw the little sapphire circle. She got a death grip on the steering wheel and used her other hand to call out to the others, \"[i]HOLD ON TIGHT TO WHATEVER YOU CAN!!! 3...2...1!!![/i]\"\n\nHer finger flew like a javelin towards the blue button.\n\nPiffle and Toby felt a double [b]ker-chunk[/b] below them.\n\nToby remembered that sound. It was from when George and the Fearsleigher had merged. Specifically, from when the skate blades had raised up and locked into place. Toby looked past the door and saw that they had extended outwards a few feet and clicked into a mirrored diagonal alignment.\n\n'Like helicopter blades,' he had just enough time to observe.\n\nThen eight Gs picked him up and bashed him against the front seat hard enough to break his nose.\n\nPiffle's wings folded like origami. The gear in the back flattened Doll. Junella watched as the steering wheel caught underneath her arm and bent it in about seven different ways it shouldn't have. Zinc's scream sounded like an unbroken forty-second yodel as the Fearsleigher turned into a buzzsaw below him.\n\nThis was the emergency failsafe he'd asked Andy to install. Zinc had purchased a Cyrus Tear especially for it: a substance so volatile you had to be either real smart or real stupid to work with. Zinc's plan was to make use of the flat, wide surface of the extended skates. If the car fell from a great height, it might be possible to spin them, generating enough lift to slow the descent and leave the car in a salvageable state when it touched down.\n\nOf course, there is a reason why helicopters have tail rotors. The Fearsleigher had no tail rotor.\n\nSo for the next one hundred and thirteen seconds, the occupants of the Fearsleigher got to experience what it would feel like to be a wadded-up sock in a washing machine powered by jet fuel.\n\nPiffle was only just starting to feel the stinging ache from her mangled wings when the sheer force of the spin pinned her to the ceiling, where her lungs collapsed and she blacked out.\n\nJunella managed to drag herself into the cubbyhole beneath the driver's seat. The gas and brake pedals dug into her like blunt garden spades, but she could handle that. She watched her broken arm flop around like a sweater sleeve. 'If we get through this alive,' she thought, 'I might just walk back to EC, find Andy, and flay him.'\n\nThe gatling turret was positioned close to the center of the car, so Zinc was not whipped [i]around[/i] so much as [i]upwards[/i]. He felt his pants shoot down his legs and fly away. He shut his tin lids tight, trying to hold onto his eyeballs. His ears were long gone. At least his grip on the gun was secure. He'd screwed his wrenches down tight and locked them in place. Now all he had to worry about was whether he was going to be ripped straight off of his own arms.\n\nPoor Toby. He wasn't getting the worst of it, but this sure wasn't Disneyland either. The G-forces felt like he was being squeezed through a printing press. And what could be worse? Seeing that both back doors were still hanging open. Only friction was keeping Piffle from falling out.\n\nShe'd saved him, so it was time to repay the favor.\n\nHe did not allow himself time to think. Adrenaline was for decision-making now, not reason. The centrifugal force was so intense, pulling himself away from the front seat felt like tearing off his skin with velcro. He realized his arm had been crushed beneath him and he'd broken three fingers. But he still managed to flop towards the unconscious hamsterfly and snare her ankles.\n\nAs he pulled her down towards the back storage compartment, two more hands aided him. He did not look back, just in case Doll was unbagged. They struggled Piffle into the little cubbyhole together and squeezed in beside her. Pain still danced along Toby's nerves like thorny lightning, but at least the gravity pressure was slightly less here.\n\nHe tilted his head. His neck sounded like Rice Krispies. He saw Doll: dress torn, head half-flattened. He weakly gave her a thumbs-up. Her bag had been swept away so she couldn't reply, but he held her close and waited out the spinning.\n\nGeorge had not regretted merging with the Fearsleigher until now. The world whirled around him, blurring into oranges and blues and greys. He barely knew up from down. But the spin was literally tearing him to pieces. He could feel parts loosening, rivets coming undone, seats shaking, axles shuddering. It was a completely new kind of unpleasantness. As if all his bones were being slowly carved apart in different directions.\n\nBut the worst part was that he could feel what was happening to his passengers. Their bodies slammed back and forth inside him. His body was harming them instead of protecting them. It was one thing to know they had been suffering in Amaurosis Fugax, but now he was experiencing it internally. [i]Feeling[/i] the consequences of his failure.\n\nGeorge could feel his grille bayonets bending, a sensation like having his teeth pushed down his throat. He could not endure this much longer. He could feel the fluids slapping around inside of him that had once belonged to his poor passengers. This was intolerable. They did not deserve this. George could feel his door hinges tearing. He could not endure this much longer. It was not fair. They should not have to suffer this much. George's hood popped open and was bent immediately in half. He could not endure this much longer. This was not fair. George's skull shattered and bits of his eye sockets sprinkled across the frothing sky. THIS WAS NOT FAIR. HE COULD NOT ENDURE THIS.\n\n[u][b]THUD[/b][/u]\n\n\n\n***\n\n\n\nThe landing was a mercy. Not just because the terrible spinning finally stopped, but because it killed every one of them instantly. Their pain blessedly ceased, replaced by perfect numbness.\n\nThe impact sprinkled chunks of car and bits of bodies in a twenty foot radius. Toby, Doll and Piffle were accordioned into one another. Junella looked like a smashed inkpot. There was nothing left of Zinc atop the car but two wrenches with a ribcage dangling between them.\n\nGeorge was now bone again.\n\nHis death had reverted the transformation potion. The crash spat out his remaining fragments like watermelon seeds.\n\nDim flashes of awareness began twinkling through everyone's brains. Sensation returned to limbs. Hearts began to beat again. Lungs took in air.\n\nZinc's torso was somewhere half a mile down the road, but he resurrected around his wrenches nonetheless, laid out across his loyal, lovely gun. His hands were clamped down so hard, the gun grips looked like bubblegum. \"Sorry girl,\" he coughed out. He looked down and was grateful to see that his pants had reappeared.\n\nToby heard groaning. He smelled blood. He felt tingling in his extremities. He put all of his functioning neurons to work trying to figure out how to open his eyes. Mission accomplished: a square hole was looking back at him. He and Doll had their arms wrapped protectively around one another.\n\n\"Thank you,\" he was able to say properly this time.\n\nDoll could not respond yet, so he closed his eyes. Then he felt a gentle plastic hand touch his forehead. He nodded.\n\nFrom beside them came Piffle's muffled voice, \"That was the worst merry-go-round I've ever been on.\"\n\nJunella peeled herself off the floor. She was lying in a slippery pool of her former self's inky innards. She reached up to pull herself loose, then slumped against the front seat and began chuckling soundlessly. Soon she was shaking with helpless sobs of laughter. After living through a hell like that, what else could one possibly do?\n\nBeneath them, the Fearsleigher rumbled. Now that George had been ejected, it followed its programming and began lowering the skate blades to their normal position. Or at least it tried to. The car rose and fell like a fat man trying to stand up from a low seat. It tried to raise the nailplow too, but that had been sheared clean off its mounts.\n\nToby stretched. On all fours, he slowly eased himself backwards out of the crawlspace. Daylight trickled in through the open, leaning doors.\n\nJunella reached up and dug her claws into the upholstery. Grunting from the strain, she hauled herself to her feet. She bonked her head against the ceiling and hissed. Then, just as she was about to ask how everyone was doing, a voice interrupted her.\n\nIt was like an earthquake creating words. Cannonade becoming language.\n\n\"[b]I AM NEVER GOING TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME!? ANYONE! ANYWHERE! I REFUSE!!! YOU CANNOT MAKE ME! NEVER! I WANT TO MAKE THAT ABSOLUTELY CLEAR! NEVER! THAT WAS THE MOST INTOLERABLE, THE MOST UNDESERVED... NEVER!! NEVER, DO YOU HEAR ME!? [/b][u][b]NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!!![/b][/u]\"\n\nThe ground actually shook from the sheer volume of George's protestation. Leaves rattled on the scrubby bushes around them. The sky echoed with his words long after he had stopped erupting them.\n\nHis throat hurt.\n\nHe stood there, once again a charred but illuminated skeleton, devoid of metal. And he smoldered with rage. He did not care who had heard him. It was his ultimatum to the universe in general.\n\nAll of Zinc's fur had been blown back. He pried his eyelids open just so he could stare properly. \"Jesus [i]wept,[/i] Georgie!\"\n\nThe sound of another voice startled the stallion so much he nearly tripped over his hooves. \"Sir Zinc! I... I apologize. I let my emotions overtake me.\"\n\nThe others were cautiously peeking out from inside the Fearsleigher, like soldiers unsure if the grenade lying in front of them was live or not.\n\nGeorge hung his head and nervously fidgeted. He was babbling now, in a much smaller voice, \"That was undignified of me. I am sorry you had to hear that. It was a tantrum, plain and simple. When the spinning began, I could feel your bones break and your blood spill. Unspeakable heartache. Failure! Absolute failure! My reason is to protect you and I [i]failed![/i]\"\n\n'Good god, he's gonna have a nervous breakdown,[i]'[/i] Junella thought as she sprang from the car and ran towards him. She hugged his leg. Holy shit, he was actually [i]trembling![/i]\n\nToby tucked Doll under his arm and jumped down too. Piffle joined him. Zinc tried his best, but couldn't get his wrench jaws unstuck from the semi-melted grips.\n\nJunella squeezed. \"[i]Shut your sweet mouth, George,[/i]\" she lullabyed. \"[i]We all screw up sometimes. Don't let it tear you up.[/i]\"\n\n\"I... I...\" George could not speak. For a moment there, he had felt his old self pounding with all four hooves against the inside of his brain, trying to come back. All the unthinking brutality and rage. It was the most awful feeling. Though still not as bad as feeling his friends suffering inside him. Nothing could be worse than that. George knew he must remember it forever. It would sting him like wasp's venom, but it would be a remembering pain. A pain he would do anything to never repeat.\n\nAnd then he felt Sire Toby and Madam McPerricone hugging him as well. Even Madam Doll.\n\n\"I am grateful to all of you,\" he whispered.\n\nA faraway sound tickled Zinc's newly-regrown ear. He looked around. His face fell. \"Sorry to break up the party, guys... but we're standin' in a minefield.\"\n\nEveryone had been so focused on George, they hadn't thought to check their surroundings.\n\nThe area they'd fallen into was typical of the canyon floor in Lumbago. The land was curved between the rock pillars, sloping up and down like a snowboarding half-pipe. Orange rock and orange sand, punctuated by sickly, tangled bushes. And the corpses of biteranodons were littered absolutely everywhere. Their flattened bodies were like a feathered carpet. The stink was incredible. Smaller nightmares were emerging from their dens, shaped like rabbits but with teeth and claws three times normal size. They stared in disbelief at this bounty from heaven, then began to feast lustfully on their former predators.\n\nRetaining a wounded dignity, there stood the Fearsleigher. She'd gotten considerably uglier, but was still in one piece. The emergency failsafe had landed it without major structural damage (and had flung away most of the bird blood). The doors were lopsided, every last bit of glass was gone (again), some of the armor plating was curled, the paintjob was now more scratches than paint, George's harness was a crumpled squiggle, and the bayonets were bent nearly sideways. But it still stood. And the skate blades looked invulnerable as ever. Just not lowered. And without them in place, there was no way George could reintegrate with the car or hitch himself to it.\n\nNightmares resurrect slower than souls. Typically, the stupider they are, the slower it takes. And biteranodons are quite stupid. But now there were corpses littered all around the Fearsleigher, any one of which might spring back to life at any second.\n\nThey all realized their dilemma. Junella took charge as usual. \"[i]Allright! I gotta get these blades working or we're a buffet. The rest of you, grab whatever weaponry ain't broken and start bustin' skulls![/i]\" She swept her arm towards the car for Toby and Piffle to follow her.\n\nGeorge was still standing in the same spot. His pinprick eyes blazed like two microscopic suns. Low and cold, he said, '\"You may not need any weapons at all, Madam Brox.\"\n\nFor a second she wasn't sure what he meant. Then she turned and saw him scraping the ground repeatedly with his foot. His whole body vibrated. He was coiling himself like a clockspring.\n\n\"[i]New plan! Everyone still gets guns, but mostly we just stay the fuck outta George's way![/i]\"\n\n\"I like this new plan,\" George said. His voice sounded like a thundercloud trapped in his throat.\n\nJunella climbed up the side of the car to bang on the roof. \"[i]Zinc, I want you to check the hood real quick; see how much of our supplies survived.[/i]\"\n\nHe grinned sheepishly. \"No can do, Sarge.\" He tugged on his wrenches. \"Stuck.\"\n\nHer eyes bugged a bit at seeing the metal grips warped around her partner's hands. \"Can it still fire?\"\n\n\"The trigger's permanently pulled. So I think maybe as soon as I start pedaling...\" He let her finish that thought.\n\n\"[i]Well, shit, then just point it birdwards and keep doin' what you're doin'.[/i]\"\n\n\"Yes, ma'am!\"\n\nPiffle's cutely round rump filled the backseat as she and Doll poked around inside the storage space. Toby waited at the door to get a weapon, then realized, 'I'm already holding one.' He looked down at his palm. That faint glow was still emanating from it.\n\n'What did I do to that biteranodon's head?' he finally asked himself.\n\nHe was still reeling a bit from everything that had happened in the last few minutes, but this was the clearest his mind had been since it started. Might as well make use of it.\n\nHe took himself back to the moment when the bird had broken in through the window. He let his muscle memory tell him the story.\n\nAnd then suddenly it was obvious. Simply a matter of cause and effect.\n\nHe didn't stop to think. Otherwise his cowardice would have grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him back against the car. Toby hopped down and went running out into the open.\n\nJunella had just mindfucked up a new pair of revolvers, then dropped them in disbelief when she saw her client seemingly going AWOL. \"[i]Get your ass back here! You crazy!?[/i]\"\n\n\"I'm not running away!\" he shouted over his shoulder. The dead birds were spread out across a wide area. He found one relatively isolated and stood facing its motionless double-beaked head.\n\n\"Sire Toby! Let me assist you!\" George cried in alarm. \"You will be injured!\"\n\nToby gulped. Sweat ran down his ears and forehead. He felt his leg muscles twitching, felt the sand beneath his soles. \"Only if I fail.\"\n\nGeorge cocked his head in disbelief. Then he realized that his master had not gone mad after all. He gave a whicker of encouragement and resumed his stance.\n\nThe six of them were sweaty, bloody, tired and quaking with anticipation. Junella wriggled herself beneath the car, toolbox in hand. Piffle found an army surplus rifle. Doll was stacking up boxes of bullets. Zinc's legs were tensed to begin pumping. George was doing small stretching exercises, feeling out his old body again and remembering why he liked it so much.\n\nToby was rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. The air down here felt oversaturated with oxygen now, like he was getting drunk on the stuff. He glanced above. The swarm was still there, circling. Either afraid of the mist or confused at where their meal had gone. 'Good. At least we'll only have to worry about the ones on the ground.' Toby looked back down at the dead nightmare. It was sure taking its sweet time to resurrect.\n\nZinc spotted movement. A beaked head raised from the dust, casting about in confusion. Zinc soundlessly rotated his gun towards it. \"Get ready, cats and kittens...\"\n\nA scaly leg twitched here. A wing fluttered there. One by one, the birds began to stir.\n\nThe travelers kept silent.\n\nThe biteranodons did not classify George as food. Like many constructs, they paid almost no attention to their peers of different breeds. But the scent of meat was on the air. Coming from a certain direction. Beaks began to swivel towards the blood-soaked car.\n\nThe nightmare at Toby's feet started uncurling. Toby felt his heartbeat slow to a pounding thrum in his ears. His skin felt like ice. Inside him was the same overwhelming fear as ever, but there was a core of energy keeping it at bay. He felt the hammer in his arm. Felt its weight. Felt his blood pulsing around it. Silently he knelt, spreading his fingers, reaching out his hand towards the beast.\n\nIts mouths snapped open in a hiss. Its wing lashed out and knocked Toby backwards. He pinwheeled his arms to keep from falling on his ass. The biteranodon squawked and thrashed, trying to stand. Its head zeroed in on the tasty slender mouse standing in front of it. The bird could not fly yet, but it could leap.\n\nToby's mind snapped into slow motion hyper-awareness as the biteranodon lunged at him feet-first. He saw its broad, tattered wings dimming the sun. Its boil-covered chest. Its glistening double tongues. The steely black talons stretching towards his flesh...\n\nToby's arm came up, stiff as a beam. He did not try to duplicate his feat from before, he simply let it happen.\n\nThe nightmare's scales touched his palm.\n\n[b]POW[/b]\n\nThat was the sound of the biteranodon's leg being launched straight through its body like a fucking harpoon.\n\nToby allowed himself the luxury of shrieking like a little girl as he leapt out of the way of the falling corpse.\n\nWhat he had done was simple. Cause and effect. When the window had broken before, Toby had tried to launch his hammer into his waiting grip. But the biteranodon's skull had been in the way. So the hammer bounced off the skull, back towards his arm. But his arm was solely concerned with forcing it [i]out[/i]. Alfonzo's design did not [i]like[/i] that, so it pushed [i][b]harder.[/b][/i] The effect upon the nightmare's bone had been like an overclocked jackhammer.\n\nSame with this one's leg. Its corpse hit the dirt with a wet crunch.\n\nHyperventilating and dizzy, Toby stared at the lumpy black pile of dead meat. His breathing turned into a gasp of high-pitched laughter. He'd actually done it! He'd discovered a new use for his hammer! A completely unexpected side effect! Wait till he told Dorster and Alfonzo about this! Could he do it again? Why not! He had a lethal piston inside of his arm now! He-\n\n[b]BBBBBRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!!![/b]\n\nToby was so startled he leapt about three feet straight up.\n\nThe bird that had been just about to make a meal out of Zinc was shredded straight down the middle by a machete of bullets. It fell in two loud splats on either side of the gun. Zinc's fangs gleamed. \"Yup! She still works!\" he crowed.\n\nToby scrambled to his feet and dusted off his shorts. \"Stop being cooler than me! It's not fair!\"\n\nZinc laughed his ass off. \"You'll catch up!\"\n\nA twitch of movement caught George's eye. He interpreted Zinc's barrage as the signal to begin the festivities.\n\nThe reborn biteranodon never saw it coming. It had been dead, then it was alive again, waking up slowly, confused. It raised its head and spoke a questioning, 'cuk?' Then two hundred pounds of solid bone came crashing down, grinding its brains to powder, leaving no time for a single squawk.\n\n\"YOU DISGUST ME!\" George bellowed. \"NO THOUGHT, NO LOYALTY, NO HYGIENE!\" He spotted another one just waking up, trying to prop itself up on its wings. \"STAY ASLEEP, YOU CRAVEN GERM!\" George introduced his hoof to the top of its head, which soon made acquaintance with its fifth and sixth spinal vertebrae.\n\nThe sounds of gunshots and hoofbeats turned the silent afternoon into a rainless thunderstorm. Zinc pummeled the sandy ground with bullets. Piffle fumbled with her rifle until she was hitting her targets more by intention than luck. Junella tinkered as fast as she could.\n\nGeorge's head was whipping back and forth like an electric mixer, hunting for more targets. He snorted, snarled and roared. The glow from his bones was brighter than a kerosene lamp. Flames from his mouth and nose crawled up along his skull and down the length of his spine, giving him a burning mane.\n\n'I'm SO glad he's on our side!' Toby thought, heart racing with terror and awe. \"George! I'll check over here!\" he called out, waving his hammer.\n\nThe nightmare stallion twitched, startled. \"Hmm? Oh! Yes! Fantastic idea! We shall work as a team!\" He snorted in ardent approval. \"Comrades! Brothers in arms!\" He laughed heartily as he turned another stirring bird's cranium from convex to concave.\n\nToby grinned lopsidedly. George's enthusiasm was infectious. He actually felt sort of hopeful about his chances. He heard an 'Aaawk!' over his shoulder and whipped around. Here was a chance right now. This biteranodon had landed in a backbreaking slump with its legs curled up over its head. Now those legs began twitching. Its wings flapped and it struggled to right itself.\n\n\"No you don't!\" Toby yelled. He held up his bracer to protect himself from the talons and rushed in to apply his new technique to its head.\n\nThe biteranodon kicked hard and sent Toby sprawling.\n\nHis vision spun for a second, but his bracer had kept the claw from plunging though his face, so that was something. Toby jumped to his feet. \"Oh yeah!?\" he spat, trying to sound tough. He aimed his arm and shot his hammer out with as much willpower as he could generate.\n\nThe hammer sailed like an arrow towards the birdthing's eyeless head and clanged against the bone. Instant broken neck. Then the hammer went flying off sideways about twelve feet.\n\n\"Oh shit!\" Toby squealed and ran off after it. He made a mental note to not use his hammer as a projectile weapon again.\n\nThankfully it landed in the open dirt. A terrorbunny was nearby. It looked at the hammer, looked at Toby, then puffed up to quadruple its size, shrieking like a teakettle.\n\n\"I'm having a bad day!!!\" Toby roared at it.\n\nThe little nightmare turned tail and ran off as fast as its claw-burdened feet could manage. As if to say, 'Okay! Sheesh! Sorry!'\n\nToby snatched up his hammer and reloaded it.\n\nMeanwhile, black sweat was rolling down Junella's face as she fought to unjam the blade-lowering mechanism. The fact that it wouldn't stop juddering up and down was not helping her. She kept having to dart her fingers away lest they get pinched flat. Suddenly, two big ruby eyes slid in beside her. She was so startled she nearly hit herself in the face with her wrench. \"[i]WHAT!?[/i]\" she snarled at Piffle.\n\nThe hamsterfly cringed. Shouting a bit over the gatling gun's eructations, she explained, \"I shot a few, but I think the boys got the birds covered. I was wondering if I could be of assistance down here?\"\n\nJunella bared her fangs. \"[i]No, I do not need a co-mechanic! I-[/i]\" Her sentence stopped as she thought about the bigger picture. They needed to get out of here. Piffle could fly. \"[i]Wait! No! Sorry! Look, we need to get back up to the bridges, right? There's a coil of As-Much-Rope-As-You-Need in the front. Get it, fly up, then loop it around the biggest, thickest bridge pole you can spot so we can pulley the car up.[/i]\"\n\nThe hamsterfly blanched. \"I can't lift a whole big car by myself!\"\n\n\"[i]We'll help you. Now just-[/i]\"\n\nPiffle snapped her fingers. \"Wait! I could do it myself if I was big! Do you still have the resizing thingamabob?\"\n\nJunella's eyes widened. A flash of her hand and she was holding it.\n\n\"Aces! Why didn't we think of this before!? Remember how it shrunk those people when we were trying to make the apartment building little? That oughtta work in reverse, right? So I'll fly off as far away as I can, then you look at me through the window and make me grow!\"\n\nJunella mirrored her grin. \"[i]I have no idea if that'll work, but hot damn it'd be cool if it does! Get going![/i]\"\n\n\"Right!\" She turned to shuffle out from beneath the car, then turned back.\n\n\"[i]What now?[/i]\"\n\nShe smooched Junella on the cheek, then buzzed away.\n\nThe skunk rubbed her cheek and laughed. \"[i]Nutcase...[/i]\"\n\nMeanwhile, Zinc was still ejaculating hot lead into the anatomy of many, many nightmare birds. He was really in need of a shower. Sweat and giblets stained him head to toe. Aiming with the triggers stuck on auto-fire was tricky but not impossible. He soon got into a rhythm of pedaling fast for a wide spread and slow for more precise peppering. And he called out his thanks when he saw a pair of burlap-clad hands dutifully emptying out another basket of caltrops.\n\nGeorge was busy laughing maniacally, pouncing like a pogo stick, ensuring that any downed biteranodons stayed down. There was such savage pleasure to be had in an unfair fight. The little birdies woke up without a clue that a hurricane of bone was bearing down upon them. The crunch of skulls beneath George's hooves was like the touch of velvet. The sound of their startled shrieks, a harp solo.\n\nToby was glad that George was having so much fun. The stallion was taking care of 90% of the battlefield, leaving Toby the other 10. Of which he was doing a decent job keeping under control, he thought. He'd practiced his new hammer technique on five birds so far, and it was as effective as a shotgun blast each time. Well, almost. One time his hand slipped and he'd sheared a beak off when he'd been aiming for the brain. There was a brief panicked flurry, then a second shot sent it to sleep. But after that hiccup, he was staring to get the feel of it.\n\nAnother one! Toby's head turned towards where he'd seen movement, hammer at the ready. But this time it was only Piffle soaring past.\n\n\"Off on an errand! Be back soon!\" She gave him a jaunty wave.\n\nHe smiled back at her, until serrated pain rocketed up his left ankle. Tiny little teeth were digging into him. Teeth that were made for gripping and restraining struggling prey.\n\nToby whirled around. Embarrassment overshadowed his hurt ankle. He'd been standing right in front of one of the dead ones. It had woken up when his back was turned and did what came naturally. Toby yelled angrily at it. The bird bit down harder. Toby twisted his waist around to get his hand in position.\n\n[b]POW[/b]\n\nHis hammer shot out like a marble from a Gauss gun, resulting in one spectacularly exploded skull.\n\nHe looked down. After prying the bits of beak away, his leg looked like a scratching post. He took a careful step with it and the pain made his teeth clench. This was not good. He wasn't going to make any progress limping from bird to bird like this.\n\n\"[i]Yo, Toby![/i]\"\n\nHe looked up. A small dark hornet was coming to say hello to him.\n\nThe bullet passed clean through his corpus callosum, like parting his hair.\n\nA moment later his heart was racing and he was scrambling to his feet in a new body. He looked down: clean clothes and intact ankle. And another dead Toby a few feet away. \"Eeugh.\"\n\n\"[i]You're welcome![/i]\" Junella shouted.\n\nWell, at least it had been painless. He waved back, then spotted another twitching biteranodon and scurried towards it.\n\nJunella took a moment to marvel. This was actually the same mouse that, just a few days ago, had nearly had a coronary seeing Sander take Zinc's breath. Now she'd put a bullet through his dome and he'd gotten back up like it was no big whoop.\n\nAnd it was lucky for him she'd noticed the bird's ambush. The skunk's gaze had been fixed on Piffle, and she'd only glanced his way by chance. She looked back to the diminishing pink dot in the distance, resizer in hand.\n\nPiffle was streaking through the air like a fighter jet. Her safari outfit was not exactly aerodynamic, but her strong wings and stronger heart more than compensated. She headed towards the highest hill, a few hundred feet from the car. She wanted to be as visible as possible for Junella.\n\nThe skunk squinted. 'Thank goodness for that silly-ass getup,' she thought. Piffle's clothes were bright as a lighthouse bulb. Finally the hamsterfly settled down and saluted, ready to be enlarged.\n\nJunella took a deep breath as she closed the resizing window as small as it could go. She poured her willpower into it. 'I'm sure you weren't designed for this, but do me this favor, would you please?' She held it up to her eye. Piffle's tiny bouncing image was right in the center.\n\nJunella pulled the corners apart.\n\nPiffle's image grew to fit the new dimensions of the little plastic window.\n\nThe skunk's face sprang into a grin.\n\nThen, just as quickly, she was frowning again as she watched Piffle suddenly shoot up into the sky. Where the heck was she going? Sightseeing? Junella put a hand above her eyes to follow the hamsterfly's course towards the top of the stone pillars. It was hard to make out what happened next, but it looked like Piffle was cheerleading. Waving her arms around and dancing in midair.\n\n\"Your six!\" Zinc shouted.\n\nJunella turned. She'd had to stand in the open to see Piffle, and she hadn't been watching her back. The biteranodon had taken a few bullets but could still glide. It had slipped past Zinc and was soaring straight towards her. She put her arms up to block beaks and it knocked her to the dirt. They tumbled together into a clot of bushes.\n\nThe nightmare bird's wings were wrapped tight around the strange-smelling meat. The prey struggled hard, but it pinned the squirming thing in place with its feet and prepared to fill its belly.\n\nJunella forced her forearm deeper into the bird's lower maw to keep it busy while her head dodged the upper one. If she could just get her hand to her hip...\n\nThe bird let out a strangled 'Aaaawk?' as it suddenly grew a unicorn horn.\n\nJunella's cutlass was hilted in it. Straight through the chest, up the throat, and out the top of its head. Like threading a needle.\n\nShe wriggled her legs between herself and the corpse and kicked it off of her. Her sword slipped out of its head with a fantastically gory noise.\n\nShe got to her feet and kicked it in the face. \"[i]Rude piece of shit,[/i]\" she spat.\n\nToby ran up to her. \"Nicely done.\"\n\nShe sneered down at the thing, offended that it had touched her. \"[i]I shoulda been paying attention.[/i]\"\n\nHe shrugged. \"Hey, your arm's leaking pretty bad. Want me to, uh, do what you did for me a moment ago?\" He felt weird about the offer even as he held up his palm.\n\nHis politeness got a laugh out of her. \"[i]Nah, it'll melt over soon. Thanks though.[/i]\" Then her ear twitched as she caught a high-droning buzz coming closer. Almost like a single-engine aircraft.\n\nThe skunk and mouse both looked up to see a gigantic shape soaring in from overhead, making a beeline for the largest group of biteranodons. A flash of gold made them shield their eyes.\n\nWhen they looked again, their jaws dropped.\n\nPiffle's fork had gotten enlarged as well.\n\nThe biteranodons scattered into the air as the loudest buzzing of wings they'd ever heard scrambled their radar. Something unfathomably huge was descending upon them.\n\n\"[b]CHOO CHOO!!![/b]\" said Pifflezilla.\n\nThe resizing window had done its job splendidly. Piffle was nearly forty feet tall, not counting her antennae. Her golden fork now weighed at least a ton, and she herself was about the same mass as a two-bedroom tract home. A fluffy pink airborne juggernaut.\n\nShe had her fork held out in front of her lengthwise, like a battering ram. Uncountable greasy black wings snapped as she tore through.\n\nZinc stopped pedaling and his gun went silent. \"Someone make me some popcorn, 'cause this is gonna be a helluva show...\"\n\nThe swarm scattered. Those that hadn't been demolished by Piffle's extraordinary entrance were blown away by the tornado-force wind from her wings. They cawed in panic. Not once had they ever faced anything like this. Piffle's grin was enormous. The deluxe-sized hamsterfly angled her wings and did a sudden flip around the axis of her fork, like a gymnast swinging around the parallel bars. She plummeted towards the ground feet-first, landing like an atom bomb and crushing several constructs to jelly.\n\nJunella had the forethought to grab Toby and duck him under the car beside her. Piffle's boots sent a shockwave of sand racing across the canyon. Junella felt it rattle shards from her tail as it passed. Zinc was blown horizontal like a windsock.\n\nWhile half their number had fled, several of the remaining biteranodons regrouped for another assault. Even with their nostrils perpetually clogged with their own filth, they could certainly smell thousands of pounds of hamster meat. A feast to feed the entire colony!\n\nPiffle shot back into the air like a V2 rocket. \"You guys'd better clear outta here if you know what's good for you!\" she growled. But biteranodons have very little sense of self-preservation, so one of them dived straight for her face. A colossus punch sent it whizzing across the canyon to crunch against a rock pillar. The others seemed to take this as a signal to attack. Dozens swarmed at once.\n\nPiffle knew, there was a time to keep up a sunny disposition and a time to get mad. These overgrown mosquitoes had put her and her friends through an afternoon of misery and had utterly routed her before. But that was when she was little. Now she outnumbered them all by herself. Tiny beaks bit her everywhere, but barely hurt. Their talons only felt like thumbtacks. She reached behind to one on her shoulder and pinched it flat between her fingers.\"Bad bird!\"\n\nToby winced hard. \"Oh yuck!\"\n\nPiffle swung, punched, kicked, and karate chopped. Turning on every axis in midair. Her wings spun her around like a whizzing top while she sang the Popeye theme. The tiny, fragile bodies barely registered as she pulverized them.\n\nGeorge had stars in his eyes. \"I dearly wish I had wings again. How I'd love to join her!\"\n\nCorpse after corpse smashed against the ground. The terrorbunnies were having a carnival amongst the remains.\n\nThe nightmare birds attacked with all their ferocity but were hopelessly outclassed. Those that flew too close to her fists and boots got a free chiropractic rearrangement. Those that flew too close to her wings got blasted out of the sky by the downdrafts. Only one of them managed to make Piffle cry out in pain: it landed on her head and chomped down on her left antenna.\n\n\"NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!!\" she boomed. She reached up and grabbed the little pest in both hands. It squawked and thrashed helplessly. The soft cushiony paws that had once brushed Doll's hair were now pneumatic compactors made of iron. As the others watched from below, she pulled in opposite directions and ripped the ugly little nuisance clean in half.\n\nJunella, Toby and George were all hiding under the car at this point, since outside it was raining dead birds like the world's ugliest hailstorm. When the top and bottom chunks of that last unfortunate individual splatted against the dirt, they all flinched.\n\nToby could not tear his eyes away, but his shoulder nudged Junella's. \"Aren't you glad she tagged along with us?\"\n\nThe skunk mutely nodded.\n\n\"Give 'em hell, Piff!!\" Zinc cheered. He jumped up and down, stomping the roof and whistling. \"Go, cat, go!\"\n\nThe canyon towers were speckled up and down with bird blood. Piffle's safari outfit was riddled with tiny teethmarks and sticky black feathers. And still the biteranodons would not retreat. Piffle snatched two of them out of the air and rammed their heads together with a sickening [b]sploosh.[/b]\n\nPiffle was a little bit frightened of herself at the moment. She was being awfully cruel to these little things. After all, they couldn't help being what they were. But then she thought of them attacking Toby, swooping at Zinc, getting poor George so mad he burned up the bridge by accident. Sympathy went out the window. \"You shoulda left my friends alone!\" she bellowed. She reached out to swat one of the buggers, then managed to catch another on her backswing, crumpling it like a candy wrapper. A backflip sent a well-timed karate kick at yet another, pinning it to one of the rock towers in a crimson stain.\n\nHer love for her friends poured fuel onto her fire. Piffle geared herself up for a final blitz to wipe out the last of the nasties. But then, her antennae twitched at a distant sound.\n\nThe others heard it too. Or rather, they felt it.\n\nthoom... thoom... thoom...\n\nThe vibration rattled up through the sandy ground. Something was coming. Something humongous.\n\nToby looked up to see chunks of rock raining down from the spires. He pressed his palms to the ground and could feel the rhythmic thumps travel up his arms. His heart turned to ice. There was something horribly familiar about this.\n\n[b]thoom... thoom... thoom...[/b]\n\nZinc looked all around. The echoes were ricocheting off the pillars, making it difficult to pinpoint their source. He swiveled the gatling gun back and forth, wondering if this was something he'd have to shoot. Wondering if shooting would make any difference.\n\nThe terrorbunnies all wisely darted for the safety of their burrows.\n\n[b]Thoom... Thoom... Thoom...[/b]\n\nThe biteranodons were in a tizzy. Those that had survived the onslaught of the titanic furry conqueror were flapping around in flustered circles. Their ears told them just how big and heavy this advancing unknown was. Two enormous beings in one day was simply too much to cope with. Two of them bashed into each other by accident and were soon joining the piles of Piffle's body count below.\n\n[b]THOOM... THOOM... THOOM...[/b]\n\nToby's heart quickened. The footsteps now shook the ground hard enough to rattle his teeth. Whatever impending nightmare was drawing near, it would dwarf Piffle.\n\nThen he saw it. A foot emerged from behind a far pillar. Red as blood.\n\nToby felt ice crystals encrusting his whole body. His breath caught in his throat.\n\n[u][b]THOOM[/b][/u][b]... [/b][u][b]THOOM[/b][/u][b]... [/b][u][b]THOOM[/b][/u][b]...[/b]\n\nHad it followed him?\n\nIt turned the corner and squeezed itself through the gaps between the rock towers, its blocky shoulders scraping rubble away wherever it couldn't quite fit. One of the towers began to lean. Then came an ear-puncturing thundercrack as the mile-high pillar snapped at its base. It shattered from the strain of falling. Thousands of tons of rock spilled down from the sky. Then the whole world shuddered as the mountainous chunks impacted. A tsunami of dust raced across the canyon, sandblasting everything in its way. Boulders spun through the air like water drops. The shockwave sent the Fearsleigher hopping several feet straight up, and when it came down it bisected Junella neatly. She was barely aware of it as she reformed, still gawking agog at the mind-scrambling sight before her.\n\nThe creature emerged from the dust cloud without any indication that it noticed or cared about what it had just caused. Its pace never changed. Where before it sounded like it was charging, it was actually just taking its time. Strolling. Perfectly unconcerned with the cataclysms that followed wherever it walked.\n\nThe rustbeast.\n\n\n\n\n-***-\n\n[b]Chapter Fifty-Four[/b]\n\n\nToby miraculously managed not to wet his pants.\n\nMemories flooded back to him: his first frenzied moments in Phobiopolis, cowering among the trees as an unspeakably huge creature came stomping right past him. Impossible. Unstoppable. It had found him again. Toby watched those massive crimson legs leave square footprints big as swimming pools. He was going to end up in one of those footprints. Squashed like a grape. Flattened into a tiny smear.\n\nThe rustbeast was constructed entirely of rectangles, like a small child's drawing of a bug. If Piffle was as big as a house, then this was easily the size of a mall. And shaped like one too. The body was a gargantuan box, with six stiffly bending legs and a relatively small square head. No facial features. No eyes, ears, mouth, wings, or antennae. Every surface was the exact same color: oxidized coppery red. Rust incarnate.\n\nAt first, Toby was too stricken with brain-destroying dread to notice how much it had changed since their first encounter. But gradually it dawned on him that before, its appearance had been almost skeletal. Its limbs were like the Eiffel Tower: crisscrossing gaps all throughout its infrastructure. But now they were filled in smooth. And hadn't it had a tail before? Was this not the same beast? Another of its 'species'? Or had fear tangled up his perceptions the first time?\n\nWhilst everyone else was staring at the immense oncoming abomination with a knowledge deep in their souls that this was the end, Piffle's reaction was quite different.\n\nShe twirled in mid-air, then flung her arms outward and shrieked in total joy, \"It's RED!!!\"\n\nShe zoomed like a cruise missile across the canyon right up to the rustbeast, immediately flinging her arms around its neck in a jubilant hug. \"Oh it's SO good to see you again!!\" she squealed. \"And I can finally give you proper cuddles at this size!\" She planted a series of rapid-fire kisses on the side of its face, staining her lips orange.\n\nDoll leaned out of the side door and just gawked. She couldn't think of any gesture that could convey her feelings at seeing what she was seeing.\n\n\"[i]Oh, of course,[/i]\" Junella muttered weakly, her brain blowing gaskets right and left. \"[i]Of course Piffle knows the monster at the end of the world. God put her here to fill my life with chaos.[/i]\"\n\nGeorge didn't hear a word she'd said. He was slowly getting to his feet again, trembling as he stared. His eyes shone with awe. \"It's a nightmare construct,\" he breathed. \"Like me.\"\n\nJunella was about to say, 'Well yeah, there are lots of nightmares all over,' but then the deeper meaning struck her. \"[i]Like [/i][u][i]you[/i][/u][i]? You mean... smart?[/i]\"\n\nGeorge's voice was far away. He could barely believe his senses. The very idea that he was not alone in this realm had been unthinkable just a moment ago. \"It does not seem to possess the same level of intelligence as I do, but look! It is not attacking her. It is docile. It is... tame!\"\n\nIndeed, the rustbeast was rubbing its cheek against Piffle's. Swaying side to side as she squeezed and smooched and babytalked to it.\n\nShe sighed in bliss. \"You couldn't have come at a better time, ya big sweetiepie. We were in a heckuva fix, but you wouldn't mind doin' us a favor and letting us hitchhike, wouldja old pal? Nah! 'Course not! Because you're wonderful all over, aren't you? And looking so well-fed! Hardly any holes today!\"\n\nIt nodded slowly. Its head was roughly half her current size. Flakes of rust like crimson dandruff sloughed off whenever it moved. Its shape was like a beetle, but its movements recalled a very large, old tortoise.\n\nPiffle gave the rustbeast one last firecracker of a kiss, then buzzed her wings and rocketed back towards her friends. She was so overwhelmed with happiness, she did three barrel rolls and landed on her tummy like a runner sliding into home plate. \"Hiya, guys! Isn't this great!?\" she boomed.\n\nThe resulting minor earthquake knocked everyone off their feet. She giggled sheepishly as her friends picked themselves up.\n\nToby pointed past her and stated the obvious. \"...That's the rustbeast!!\"\n\n\"It's Red!\" she repeated. \"He's an old pal. I met him years ago. He walks through the Blackdamp every now 'n again, then vanishes for a while and comes back. Actually, that might explain why he's hereabouts. Maybe he just walks from one end of the world to the other. For exercise.\"\n\nGeorge looked up into her shining eyes, desperate for answers. \"Madam McPerricone! Why did you never tell me you knew of another ascended construct? I've felt achingly alone all this time! Thinking I was nothing but a fluke, an aberration!\"\n\nShe blinked. \"Gosh, it never crossed my mind!\" She looked back and forth between George and Red. \"I never thought of him as a nightmare! I mean, he's never acted like one. Normally you guys are all 'rawr rawr'. But I watched him go by a few times and he just seemed like he was passin' on though without a care. I flew up to talk to him one day and he didn't seem to mind me. After a few times, he'd even wait for me to show up.\"\n\n\"Incredible,\" George husked. His mind whirred with curiosity. Had this beast lost its normal nightmarish temperament through the years, like he himself had? Or had it come into existence like this? Was it really even a nightmare? It smelled like one and gave off all the right signals. But it might also be something new. Or something ancient, predating himself and all other constructs. Was it someone's imaginary friend come to life?\n\n\"I think he'll like you guys,\" Piffle said with assurance. \"Anywizzle, didja see the way I KO'd those nasty crows?\" She grinned proudly and took a swing at imaginary villains.\n\nSeeing her so gigantic made Zinc's heart beat in a rather unexpected way. He was the size of a sparkplug compared to her. \"You're the most, babe! Our very own Pauline Bunyan!\"\n\n\"Why thank you,\" she said sweetly. She looked down at all her tiny friends, greatly amused at their bug-eyed expressions and how they were barely taller than the toes of her boots now.\n\nThat gave her a wicked idea. \"I just can't resist!\" She crouched down and made a grab for George.\n\n\"ExCUSE me, I...\" He neighed in protest as she bounced him up and down.\n\n\"Trot trot trot! My little horsie went to the races!\" She paraded George around in a circle like a plastic toy.\n\n\"This is an assault on my dignity!\" he snorted.\n\nJunella was laughing so hard she was crying. That is, until a humongous hamster paw picked her up and lifted her into the air. She opened her mouth to scream but all she could manage was a record scratch.\n\nToby did not panic too much when Piffle did the same to him. He knew she wouldn't do anything terrible to him, right? And her paw was really soft. Like having a bunch of couch cushions abduct him.\n\nPiffle's grin was spectacularly mischievous. \"And here we have the lovely bride and groom on their wedding day! Aren't they a sight! I'm the preacher and I say that now you may kiss the bride!\"\n\nJunella's expression turned to boundless horror.\n\nToby screamed as Piffle suddenly thrust him headfirst towards Junella.\n\nPiffle was careful not to crack her little playthings' skulls, but she did kind of bonk Toby's face against Junella's cheek while making smooching noises. \"Oh, oh, my precious darling! You are the cream in my coffee! The only one for me!\"\n\nJunella wiggled a hand loose enough to scream, \"[i]ZINC, FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHOOT HER!!![/i]\"\n\nBut he was laughing [u]way[/u] too hard to aim straight.\n\nFrom behind them came a quiet, questioning grunt. Although \"quiet\" hardly applied to a rustbeast. Its mutter sounded like iron beams bending.\n\nPiffle remembered she'd left him standing there. He was probably wondering why his friend had run off so suddenly. She was about to tuck her friends in her pocket, but then remembered poor stuck Zinc. Instead, she lifted Toby, Junella and George up onto the Fearsleigher's roof. Then she gripped it under the chassis, lifted with her knees, and picked the whole darn thing up. \"Whoof! It's heavier than it looks! How do you do it, George?\"\n\nHe was too busy trying to not fall off to answer. Hooves and metal do not make for secure standing. Plus, the others were all wobbling around trying to deal with the shaking too and he didn't want to step on them by accident.\n\nPiffle skipped merrily across the canyon with her playset and action figures. Each footstep sounded like a dumpster dropped from a helicopter. Toby flattened himself to the roof on his tummy. Junella wobbled around like a rolling die, barely avoiding the gatling gun barrel (it was still so hot it would have melted her smooth). Piffle skidded to a stop in front of Red and held up the car. \"Looky! These are my friends!\"\n\nToby's brain could barely deal with being so close to the thing that had first introduced him to the terrors of Phobiopolis. Back then it had nearly scared him into a coma. He expected a gush of hot breath to blast him off the roof as the thing sniffed him, but of course it didn't have a nose. Its face was nothing more than a featureless red wall.\n\n\"Oh, and we can't forget Doll.\" Piffle snugged the Fearsleigher under her arm so she could poke her finger through the side door. Doll felt as tiny as a ladybug as she crawled up onto it. Piffle placed her on the roof along with the others.\n\nDoll craned her neck up, trying to deal with the enormity of this thing. She gave an uncertain wave to it.\n\nRed's head moved back a fraction, surprised by the near-microscopic furson dressed in burlap. Then it leaned in a little closer.\n\n\"I think you're interesting to him,\" Piffle said.\n\nThen she farted.\n\n[b]POOOT[/b]. The flabby, rumbling noise was almost exactly the same as air escaping from a balloon. And just as it happened, Piffle shrank a few inches.\n\nHer cheeks reddened. \"Oh gee!\"\n\nZinc piped up, \"I don't think that resizer's supposed to work like this! I think the effect's wearing off!\"\n\nJunella had a horrible thought of Piffle suddenly reverting to normal all at once, and what would that do to the car and everyone on it? \"[i]Put us down while you still can!![/i]\"\n\n\"Better idea!\" Piffle sing-songed. She reached out to gently pet Red's big square noggin. \"Is it okay? I just wanna be sure first.\" She tooted again, hiccuped, and lost another bit of height.\n\n\"[i]Hurry!![/i]\"\n\n\"There's always time for politeness,\" Piffle admonished the skunk.\n\nIt took a few moments for Red to acknowledge Piffle's question, but then his head slowly raised and slowly lowered: a nod.\n\n\"Great! Thank you so much!\" She kissed his forehead, then got a better grip on the car and took off with her wings. She grunted. It was even harder trying to carry the big armored thing while flying.\n\nAnother poot. Everyone on the roof nearly lost their balance.\n\n\"Sorry, sorry, sorry!\" Piffle said. Straining and puffing, she managed to get enough height to bring the Fearsleigher's roof level with Red's back. Then her friends could hop to safety while she dealt with getting the car parked.\n\n\"[i]Go, go go![/i]\" Junella yelped. By reflex she snatched up Doll's arm as she dashed past, and tossed her like a bowling ball onto the relatively stable ground of Red's back.\n\n\"Need assistance, Sire Toby?\" George asked.\n\nToby did indeed. His bravery tank had reached empty and he was having a lot of trouble convincing his limbs to let go of the roof.\n\nGeorge bent down and picked him up by his vest collar like a mother cat carrying a kitten. He trotted onto Red and set his master down.\n\nThe rust felt uncomfortably scrapey under Toby's moccasins.\n\nStill shrinking by inches every few seconds, Piffle struggled to haul the Fearsleigher up higher. At first she was just going to plop it straight down, but then she realized that the unexpected solution to one problem had created another. The Fearsleigher had not been able to push itself up on its blades, but with Piffle holding it, gravity had bent them down anyway. And locked them there. This was good for the car but might be painful for Red's back. Piffle fretted for a second, then decided the best solution would be to tip the car over on its side.\n\nZinc hollered as his feet slipped out from beneath him and he dangled by his hands. \"Still stuck here, remember!?\"\n\n\"Yikes! Forgive me!\" Piffle exclaimed. \"How do I set it down without hurting him!?\"\n\nJunella got an idea. She ran back towards the car and timed a perfect leap onto the grille. Then she clambered up the fender and dropped down into the front seat. She called out to Piffle, \"[i]Rotate it back to normal if you don't wanna get sepukku'd![/i]\"\n\nThe hamsterfly obeyed. Zinc was glad to have something to stand on again. Junella pressed a button and the car started vibrating. Piffle yelped and tightened her grip. The skate blades began to move.\n\nWhat Junella had done was to engage the manual merging sequence. Even without George there, the Fearsleigher could be tricked into thinking he was. Its gears click-click-clicked, extending the mangled remains of his harness while raising the skate blades to their horizontal position.\n\n\"Good job, Junella!\" Piffle said as she sat the car down flat. Good timing too, as her arms had started shaking from the strain. Now that all her friends and all their stuff was safe, she switched to the next highest priority.\n\nShe flicked her wings and swooped back around to Red's head to glom it in one last mega-hug. Now it was almost larger than she was, but still the mammoth hamsterfly squeezed with all her heart. \"Thank you [i]soooo[/i] much, Red! You're a swell fella! A really big help! I dunno what I can ever do to repay you, but I hope my hug's a good start.\"\n\nHis head slowly raised, then slowly lowered.\n\nPiffle rubbed her cheek against him, getting it all rusty. \"I'm glad.\"\n\nPiffle continued to poot until she was back to normal size. By then she had crawled up on top of Red's head, lying spread-eagle across it, trying to ensure that her hug would continue to cover as much surface area as Pifflely possible.\n\nToby peeked over the edge of Red's back. It was like a sheer cliff. Ten feet down to where his head was, but sixty more to the ground. He was still nervous about Red, but anyone Piffle could love so wholeheartedly couldn't be all bad.\n\nDoll toddled over to hold onto the hem of his shorts for stability. Toby looked down at her, then at Piffle and Red, and found the parallels interesting.\n\nPiffle gave her big buddy one last squeeze, then sat up. \"I guess I'd better tell you where we're going, huh? Hopefully it won't be an inconvenience. We're trying to get to a place called... I'm not sure, actually. Zinc called it Hell's Arse and Junella called it Fistula.\"\n\nJunella overheard this and ran over at top speed to correct her. \"[i]No, no, no, NO! Don't give him that idea!![/i]\"\n\nPiffle nibbled her finger in confusion. \"But you said...\"\n\n\"[i]That was when we were up on the ropes! Did you see that flaming hole in the sky? Normally it's the quickest route. But if your big pal doesn't mind, I'd MUCH rather take our time and walk to Marasmus. Skip the hot place entirely.[/i]\"\n\n\"...Amen!!\" Zinc shouted. \"Ever had your eyelids pan-sear your peepers? Ain't fun, lemme fuckin' tellya!\"\n\nPiffle grimaced. \"I can imagine!\" She reached down to stroke Red like a puppy. \"So how's that? Do you know where Marasmus is?\"\n\nIt nodded a little faster this time, as if she'd asked a really easy one.\n\nShe clapped her paws. \"That's super!\"\n\nFrom deep within the beast came a low bass groan. Like the creak of long-dormant machinery struggling back to life after centuries of decay. Resonant enough to vibrate up through everyone's feet. For Red, it was a whisper.\n\nPiffle gave him a pat. \"Mm-hmm, we're ready. We can go anytime.\"\n\nIt nodded. Then it looked side to side at the nearby rock pillars. Red had no reason to care about environmental destruction when he was all by his lonesome. Everywhere in Phobiopolis, the land perpetually healed itself behind the scenes (and where it didn't, Red did not go). But now he had smallones as passengers. Heavy rocks could kill them. That would make them unhappy. Red knew that sometimes he would step on smallones by accident, but tried whenever possible not to.\n\nToby dropped down to all fours as soon as he felt the rusty bulk shift below him. He could perfectly picture this thing rocking back and forth like a humongous camel, sending him sliding off the side to fall and go splat. But to his amazement, once those big legs started moving, Red's stride was as smooth as if he were gliding on rollers. Toby cautiously stood up, laughing in amazement.\n\nPiffle could see the overwhelming breathless relief in her mouse friend's expression. He actually put his arms out to the side and let the wind rustle over him.\n\nShe smiled warmly. Was there a better feeling in all the world than introducing old friends to new, and having them all get along?\n\n\n***\n\n\n'The view from up here [u]is[/u] impressive,' Toby had to admit.\n\nNow that he had a moment to appreciate them, the rock pillars were actually rather beautiful. They were not a solid orange, but striped with many different hues. And the way the land curved between them reminded Toby of ocean waves. Best of all? No more biteranodons. Any of them foolish enough to hang around after Piffle's pummeling had skedaddled the instant they laid eyes on Red. Well, except for the ones that were currently beset by packs of gnawing terrorbunnies.\n\nToby's nerves were calming down. Red had shown not a speck of aggression so far. If the big beast knocked over trees and rock pillars when it walked, that was only due to clumsiness, not malice. Toby told himself that if he could accept George as a friend despite his fearsome appearance, there was no reason he couldn't accept Red too.\n\nThe mouse knelt down to reluctantly pat the rustbeast. \"Uhh... Hi.\"\n\nIt raised its head in Toby's direction.\n\n\"Pleased to meet you,\" Toby semi-lied.\n\nA slight head tilt. Possibly a shrug?\n\n'Not the world's greatest conversationalist,' Toby thought.\n\nMeanwhile, Junella was trying to get Zinc down off the roof. Some people vented their frustrations though sports or debate. Right now she was using a crowbar. It had come from the storage space under the hood, where she'd been glad to see (thanks to the inner carpeting and some tight packing) almost nothing had been broken. Right now she had the crowbar's forked end jammed between her partner's right wrenchpaw and the gun grip, sweating and straining and actually rather glad for having a practical problem in front of her she could solve with brute force.\n\nZinc had his tail between his legs. \"I appreciate this, partner. I was starting to think I'd spend the rest of the trip as an object d'art.\" (Of course, he pronounced it as 'ob-ject da art'.) He had his feet folded up behind him as far away from the pedals as possible. Still, Junella gave the gun threatening looks as she worked. 'Just you TRY and shoot me...'\n\nFinally there came a [i]CRACK[/i] and both the skunk and mutt fell backwards. Junella tipped herself back on her feet with her tail. She hefted the crowbar over her shoulder. \"[i]One down, one to go.[/i]\"\n\n\"Nah, you go unwind. I got this one,\" Zinc grabbed hold and grunted. Finally having some leverage, the second wrench came free in half the time. Even better, the grips' inner mechanisms still had some spring in them. With a bit of repair work, he was certain the gun would be good as new again.\n\nSeeing as Zinc now had that 'Oh boy I get to fix something' gleam in his eyes, Junella decided to take his advice and go chill while she had the chance. She handed him the crowbar and hopped down from the car. She found she kind of liked the feel of Red's scaly 'skin' on her feet. Good for scratching itches. She laid herself down and stretched out every bit of herself, releasing a sigh.\n\n\"Might I offer my ribcage as a pillow for your head, Madam Brox?\" George asked as he trotted over.\n\nThe skunk shrugged. \"[i]Don't hafta.[/i]\"\n\nHe was already kneeling down to curl his legs below him. \"Actually, I was hoping we could have a bit of a conversation.\"\n\nJunella got her tail out of his way and scooted back so she could fold her arms behind her head. She eased down onto him. For charred old bone, he was fairly comfortable. \"[i]'What's shakin'?[/i]\"\n\nGeorge looked out across the landscape. The rock pillars were becoming scarcer in this direction. There were more numerous bushes and other native flora. Packs of terrorbunnies followed behind Red like groupies, all leaping up to nibble scraps of biteranodon flesh from his feet. Great numbers of them were gooshed beneath those gargantuan square soles, but Red took no notice.\n\nFinally George laid his skull down against the rust. \"I just... It seems as though you are the de facto leader of our expedition, and given that position of authority, I feel I must make a formal apology for my actions earlier.\"\n\nJunella arched an eyebrow. She said nothing, coaxing him to continue.\n\nHe was surprised she didn't immediately know what he was talking about. \"I let the biteranodons rile me into burning down the bridge! Then, after we fell, I let loose that dreadful outburst!\" He shook his skull from side to side in shame.\n\nJunella snorted and closed her eyes again. \"[i]Forgiven.[/i]\"\n\nHer curtness wounded him. \"Madam Brox, I am serious in wanting to make amends. I don't-\"\n\nShe shot a hand out to lightly smack him upside the head. \"[i]And I was serious about forgiving you. George, did you happen to notice I drove us off the wrong ramp and landed us in Kar... Kart...[/i]\" It was always hard finding the syllables to stitch together a new place. \"[i]...the land of 1000 airplanes!? That was stupid as hell of me and it nearly got us all royally fucked. And you know what? OH WELL![/i]\"\n\nShe shouted that last part so loudly it startled him.\n\n\"[i]Point is, no one's the hero every time. I get that you're on this noble quest of penance for your evil past. I can relate to that more than most people[/i]...\" The hand that had smacked him reached out to gently caress his cheekbone. \"[i]But you're gonna fuck up along the way. And you've gotta forgive yourself, 'cause you'll curl into nothin' if you don't. Remember that you fucked up, but don't get all crazy over it either. The more you concentrate on a mistake, the more likely you are to do the same damn thing over again.[/i]\"\n\nGeorge took a moment to silently ruminate on this. Then he spoke softly, \"That is very wise, Madam Brox.\"\n\n\"[i]Experience,[/i]\" she sang back. \"[i]You either get smart or get dead.[/i]\"\n\nHe nodded. Then nudged her cheek gently. \"Thank you. That was, I think, the most helpful thing you could have said to me.\"\n\nShe grinned a little. \"[i]I'm a people-pleaser[/i].\" Then she tilted her head back to stare up through the lazily swirling sky. She'd just let George see a part of herself she usually kept hidden. There was a thoughtful place inside her she'd long ago sealed behind walls of outer armor. It was a place she could see firsthand on the rare occasions when she curled up into her own bellybutton. She only did this when Zinc was nowhere around, and only for as long as it took to remember. It was easy to forget her own advice. She often did.\n\nMeanwhile, Piffle was sitting on top of Red's head, just enjoying the view and daydreaming. The weather was nice and warm. She could see dust trails pluming up from the various nightmare critters that patrolled this place. But they didn't worry her. Up here on Red, they might as well have been doodlebugs.\n\nShe leaned over to give him one more kiss and a pat, then stood up to stretch. She was curious what the rest of her friends were up to. She jumped, and hoisted herself up the ridge onto Red's back.\n\nToby was sitting cross-legged nearby. Doll was propped up beside him, back-to-back. The mouse's eyes were blank and faraway. He looked deep in thought, so she decided to slip past without disturbing him.\n\nIn actuality, Toby's mind was as vacant as his expression. Now that he had this moment to cool down, he'd taken full advantage of it and fallen into a kind of waking sleep. He let all conscious thought slip away as his brain's sub-basement tried to process through everything that had happened recently.\n\nPiffle gave Doll a wave, and a wave was returned. Doll seemed to be keeping watch over Toby while the mouse spaced out, so Piffle left her alone too.\n\nThen, up on the rooftop, click click click. Zinc was giving the gatling turret a thorough inspection, squeezing it and fondling it from every angle with his wrenches.\n\nPiffle fluttered up to peek over his shoulder.\n\nHe took no notice at first. His gaze was locked on the big brass gun, checking her all over for injuries. He realized now that her out-of-this-world price tag wasn't just for her looks, but her craftsmanship. Solid as a battleship.\n\n\"What's the prognosis, doc? Will she ever play the piano again?\"\n\nHe swiveled around to find Piffle loitering behind him. He chuckled. \"Once I fix the grips she'll be right as rain. Wouldja mind grabbing my tools from inside? I'm pretty sure I remembered to stash 'em back in the glovebox before we...\" he gestured like a spinning top.\n\n\"Right on it,\" she said and vanished. A moment later she plopped his tool bag beside him, along with an unexpected surprise. \"Voila!\"\n\n\"Jesus, this thing's got a good luck charm on it!\" Zinc took the rumpled cornucopia from her paws and marveled at it.\n\n\"I thought we'd lost it too! But nope, it got wedged under your seat.\"\n\nZinc uncrimped the edges and held it above his head. A fountain of cool water spilled out. \"Ahhhhh! That hit the spot!\" He shook himself top-to-bottom, drying off as canines do. Piffle laughed and shielded herself from the spray. Then Zinc conjured up a peeled hard boiled egg from the cornucopia and handed it back. \"Thanks, toots,\" he said with his mouth full.\n\n\"You're welcome. I always like helping.\" She pulled out a plate of cake and sat down to watch him work.\n\nSeeing that he had her attention, he decided to give her something worth looking at. First he spread out his tools on the roof. Then he detached his Doorknockers and let his wrenches pop off their mounts. He shucked his shirt and jacket to keep them from getting grease-stained. He reattached his arms and arched his back in a long, deep stretch. The afternoon sun ran its warm fingers through his chestfur. Felt good.\n\nPiffle felt her heart flutter. Zinc's body shape was a bit like an alley stray: thin and patchy. But his muscles were like bundles of copper wire underneath his taut skin. And then she realized that he had a circle of curious fur over his left pectoral, right where his heart would be. \"Say, what's that big polka dot you got?\"\n\n\"Oh this?\" He was mildly startled. He'd put a lot of work into matching the color. Not many people noticed it. \"Come on over and take a closer look. It's real interestin'.\"\n\nPiffle let her cake stop existing and stood up. He'd sounded almost shy just then. Her antennae twitched as she leaned in closer. She put out a paw to touch the spot. \"It feels counterfiet. Like a stuffed animal.\"\n\nHe nodded. \"Lift the flap. See what's underneath.\"\n\nShe crouched a little lower to do so. When she did, she gasped.\n\nThe round patch came off in her hand like velcro. Underneath was a hard plastic circle: the end of a clear tube that passed entirely through the left side of Zinc's chest. She reached around to feel his back. As expected, she found a second patch.\n\nWhen she slid it away, the sun shone fully through him.\n\nInside the transparent tunnel was a tiny masterpiece of gears. Bronze-colored and sparkling. They made up a rough sphere that whizzed around inside the tube: back and forth, back and forth, like a trapped bee behind a closed window. Piffle could not get a good look at the speedy little thing, but she could tell it was as delicate as it was complex, and that constant miniature lightning strikes were going off around it.\n\nShe was speechless.\n\nZinc grinned at her expression. \"Nifty, huh? I got a tin man's heart.\"\n\nReverently, Piffle put her hand against the plastic window. It felt incredibly durable. Bulletproof. She could feel an intense tingling vibration travel up her fingertips from the tiny dynamo inside. \"It's beautiful...\"\n\nHe acted nonchalant, but his cheeks were turning pink. He liked seeing her amazed expression. The way her mouth hung open past her cute buck teeth.\n\nThen she furrowed her brow. \"But... I saw Miss Xenoiko eat yours. And Luxy scooped it out 'long with mine.\"\n\nHe chuckled and patted the other side of his chest. \"Real one's still in there too.\"\n\nShe leaned even closer to press her ear to Zinc's right side and could hear the [b]th-thump, th-thump[/b] of his organic beat.\n\n\"A normal heart can't generate the force for bloodpower. Not for long at least.\" He flexed his wrenches in a bicep curl. \"So ol' Doc Coddington shoved it aside and plugged this spankin' new one in for hi-octane backup. It's a bitsy little power plant. Perpetual motion. If that tube ever broke, all hell'd break loose. The little wind-up toy inside'd probably go whizzing around and shred right through the world and out the other side.\"\n\n\"Gosh...\" Piffle breathed. The longer she held her hand in place, the more the buzzing from the tube traveled slowly up her arm, creating a tickly numb sensation. When she let go, she could still feel it strumming her nerves. \"That's a doozy of a ticker you got there. Or ticker[u]S[/u]!\"\n\n\"I'm glad you like 'em, baby.\" He took the patches back and reapplied them. \"Too much sun can make it overheat,\" he explained. \"I wouldn't want to end up with a broken heart.\"\n\n\"You and me both.\" As soon as Piffle said this, she blushed as pink as her jacket and covered her mouth with a paw. But the other, giving away her true feelings, reached out to trace along the edge of Zinc's right wrench.\n\nHe shivered as those gentle furred fingers traveled slowly up and down his rough metal. Ooooh... \"Hee hee! If I could get 'em, you'd be givin' me goosebumps!\"\n\nPiffle's touch inspected every little nick and dent. \"They've been through a lot, haven't they? You're gonna have to set me down one of these days and tell me all about where you got 'em.\"\n\nA lightbulb went off. \"How 'bout now? The repairs on the gun are dead simple. I just need to bend metal till it gets back to normal. You could sit and listen to me talk.\"\n\nShe 'boop'ed his nose. \"Even better, I can be your eager young assistant. You can ask me for tools and I'll go fetchem. Just like in a surgery where the doctor asks the nurse, 'Scalpel... forceps... washcloth...'.\"\n\nThey both chuckled. \"That'll be good practice for when you get back to Coryza,\" he said.\n\nShe liked that he remembered her ambition. \"Whatcha need first?\"\n\nZinc leaned over the bent grip. \"Uhhh... Let's see. I think, first...\" He cast a sly eye towards her. \"...a smooch?\"\n\nShe felt like sunny yellow dandelions were raining down around her. With a bounce of her ruffles, she giggled, squeezed closer, and placed a feather-light kiss to his cheek. The fur smelled like gunpowder and sweat. A very exciting odor. \"Silly pup,\" she whispered.\n\nZinc turned beet red.\n\n\n***\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Alex Reynard
presents

~~P~H~O~B~I~O~P~O~L~I~S~~

Dream III: Long Dark Road




\tThey say the greatest coward can hurt the most ferociously
\t\t\t-Eurythmics, "Miracle Of Love"





-***-

PART FIFTY


They began walking.

The base of Ectopia Cordis is wide enough that any attempt to circumnavigate it on foot will likely take the better part of a day. Thankfully, they had George. Even better, soon after heading off, they came across another parking attendant who was a tremendous help. He not only gave them directions to RB&WB's garage (on the opposite side of the citybase, unfortunately), but also rented them a four-seat wagon that George could pull.

Considering there might still be Ectopians around with vendettas against them, the quintet camouflaged themselves as best they could. Toby suggested George could grow a coat of flesh. George was not keen on the idea, and neither were the others once they saw the results. He looked like a walking catalog of skin diseases. Still, he no longer resembled a bonecuddy. The others shaded themselves beneath the biggest beach umbrella they could buy. Then they set off through the crowd, attracting no more attention than any of the other hundreds of pedestrians.

Toby had forgotten how expansive the parking lot was. It was a grey desert stretching out to the horizon. From this close to the city, he literally couldn't see the edge of it. As George walked on and he gradually let the tension leave his shoulders, Toby realized this was just what he needed. He'd said in the lounge how he was wishing for some cooldown time. This was it. He sat beside Junella while Piffle leaned contentedly on Zinc. None of them talked much. It would have been hard to anyway, over the omnipresent murmur of the crowd. The five friends recognized that this was an opportunity. A last calm moment before heading out on the road again.

Toby was content to just people-watch and let his mind wander. He saw families with kids. His heart nagged him some more. 'It's not too late. You could go back now, find that adoption center. Go back to a life of safe, consistent, boring normalcy!'

He rested his head in his hands and drew his tail around himself. The thought was agonizingly seductive. Worse, it was followed by his inner voice asking, 'What does it matter? If you reach Anasarca, you'd just be headed back to your old life anyway. You could save so much time and effort...'

He couldn't say why he needed to keep going. Not logically, anyway. Maybe he just felt swept along by the current. Events had been set in motion and now he had to ride them out. But what he'd said earlier was true too. He didn't want to leave his friends. Even if the rest of the trip threw constant misery and horror at him, could it be worse than the slow death of loneliness?

He thought back to his days in the cave. Nothing had actually attacked him there. Aside from jumping at shadows and thunder, not much of anything had happened, really. He had been safe. And it had been a living hell. There were parts of this trip he never wanted to relive, but each time he'd mulled them over, he found that the first example his memory supplied was always the cave.

For all the stress and chaos he'd been through on his journey, there was something inexpressibly enriching about it. Just having someone nearby to talk to, to touch, was wonderful in a way his earlier self had wholly forgotten. And there was the sheer exhilaration of uncertainty too. To not know what tomorrow would be. To taste foods his tongue had never known. To sleep in different beds. To dazzle his eyes with sights beyond his imagination.

He loved his books, but there was a limit to the pleasures he could experience through them. There was something unique about being there.

He dwelt on that pleasant thought for a moment.

But then thought of a qualifier. 'Not just that,' he realized, 'being there together.'

He took a moment just to look at each of his friends' faces.

Then he looked off to the horizon. The tip of Aldridge's mountain was just barely visible beyond the clouds.


***


They could tell it was coming before it came into view, just from the crowd's rising volume.

Up ahead, the milieu was different than the usual background chatter. Buzzing voices from walkie-talkies. The gush of firehoses. Sounds of heavy machinery carving into mortar and metal. And an undulating chorus of weeping.

None of them wanted to see this, but it seemed they were fated to.

Soon enough, as George kept on, Gyre 2 came into view.

Toby had forgotten its scale. The sheer enormity. Every spoke on that wheel had once held twelve apartments, and Gyre 2 had forty spokes. He tried to do the math in his head. How many tenants did that add up to? He couldn't handle the number.

Now the wheel was nothing but a smoldering bent corpse. EC work crews swarmed the site like ants. Spinning orange lights formed a perimeter. Rubble was strewn for miles. Hundreds of people were here. Some were gawking or taking photos, some were waiting for loved ones to be rescued. Workers were jackhammering away to free those still trapped inside. Sometimes they'd pull a battered, blood-soaked furson out and walk them shakily down to the ground. Toby saw a few reunions. But it would take time to carve all the way down to those in the lowest apartments. And how many people had been sitting here in the parking lot when the sky fell down upon them?

There was a desk with a long line of people behind it and a sign above: 'CAR CLAIM'. Toby thought about the Fearsleigher, how much work Zinc and Junella had put into it. Everyone in that line had likely built their own vehicles from scratch, or worked hard to fill a willwell to pay for one. How many cars had been destroyed when the wheel was dropped? Toby looked down the line, seeing people's rage, frustration, and helplessness.

At first he tried not to let guilt stab too deeply into his heart. He reminded himself of what he and his friends had said at the trial. All this loss was squarely on the shoulders of... whatever-his-name-was. Cleanup Crew. The muskrat had set events in motion. He chose to involve Toby and his friends, not the other way around. And their solution to stopping Gyre 2 might not have been the best, but it was the best they could have accomplished in what little time they had.

Still, their choice had been to involve themselves. There were people trapped beneath that wheel right now, and it had been his little groups' actions that put them there.

'My choice, really. Junella wanted us to just leave.'

So Toby took a long, deep breath and let the guilt come. For a while at least. It wanted in anyway. Why hold it back? All the rational counterarguments in the world couldn't shoo it off anyway. The emotion was insistent. It wanted into his heart so it could gnaw and tear. 'Just feel it, and let it pass,' Toby told himself.

All five of them were silent. They kept their eyes on the Gyre as George walked them past it. They had done a good thing, they had received praise, and now witnessing the aftermath was the accompanying penance.

'That's something else they don't show in superhero stories,' Toby thought. 'The good guys and bad guys fight, tear up half the city, and they usually don't show the day after. The rescue workers and construction crews. They'll show the really cool part with the parked cars exploding, but they don't show the furson who owned one, and how now they can't get to work.'

Toby's mouth tasted bitter.

And then, near the edge of the crowd, someone shouted, "Is that them?"

Toby sprang to alertness. Were they going to get chased again!?

He looked around and saw who'd spoken. Someone was pointing, then three furs got up from the car hood they'd been sitting on and ran over. It was a couple of male mice (from their body language it was clear that 'couple' was the right word) and a lady reindeer. The mice both had extensive facial piercings, and each one's placement mirrored the other's. The reindeer had bright green plastic suspenders. All three furs were streaked with soot and sweat, and looked tired.

"You're them, aren't you? We saw you on TV," one of the mice called out as he got close.

"Your horse looks different. That a disguise?" the other asked.

Toby and the others looked at each other warily, not sure if they should admit anything or not. This trio didn't seem angry, but it was clear from their appearance that Gyre 2 had affected them.

The mice and doe looked expectantly at the fivesome.

Junella elected to speak, "If you're asking if we're the ones responsible for that-" she pointed to the wheel, "-there's no use denying it."

The trio smiled in relief. One mouse, a piebald, took his partner's hand and made introductions. "This is Turo, I'm Lock. That's our roommate, Gingerale."

"Hi," the reindeer said. She looked too dazed to add much else.

"We were in Gyre 2 when it fell," Lock continued.

Toby and his friends all flinched.

Piffle was the first to respond. "We're so sorry!"

"Don't be," Turo said immediately. "Tumbling around in there, smashing into our furniture, dying endlessly... I can't remember anything worse we've ever been through."

Lock patted his partner's cheek and finished the thought. "...But we would've been in there longer if it hadn't been for you. Thank you."

"Thank you," Gingerale repeated.

Turo actually bowed.

The quintet were all a bit stunned.

Lock went on. "We got out a few hours ago, but we've been here in the parking lot since. Just... wandering and watching. I guess we're shellshocked." The other two nodded. "We're trying to help however we can. There's not much we can do, but, speaking for myself, I'm not ready to go back up and see how bad everything's messed up. Seeing our building like this is already too much to process."

Piffle kneaded her paws. "I understand."

Gingerale chewed her lip. "So... did you come by to see the wreckage?"

"No, uh... Actually we were skippin' town," Zinc admitted, ears drooping.

"That's probably smart," Lock reassured. "We've heard other people talking. Not everyone feels like us. Some of them would happily skin you for trophies right now."

Toby blanched.

"You guys go on. We just wanted to say thanks."

"And, like, is there anything we could do to show some gratitude?" Turo offered.

Zinc's eyebrows went so far up they nearly fell off. "Geez, kid! You don't owe us anything! Hell, you lost your home. Thanks a million, but it's allright."

Lock chuckled. "Thought so. And don't worry about us. We made it to Fifty-Two in the first place, right? Finding a new place isn't gonna be difficult. We'll imaginite up all our old stuff. Probly donate a good chunk to fix up the neighborhood nice again too."

"Good luck then, all of you," Piffle said warmly. She reached out her arms for a hug, and Gingerale happily accepted.

The mice came forward too and handshakes were exchanged all around. Gingerale even bumped hooves with George.

The moment had felt unreal to Toby until then, but he was powerfully moved at feeling warm paws holding his own. Looking into their eyes. These were real people. People who were thanking him for what he and his friends had done.

"You guys get going," Lock urged. "Before someone else sees you and starts throwing bricks."

"Good suggestion." Junella said. She patted George's neck. "Come on."

Lock, Turo, and Gingerale waved goodbye as the five travelers departed.

Toby looked back and forth between them and the Gyre, and felt some of his inner conflict unclench.


***


They continued on in silence. Gyre 2 was behind them. The city's background noise faded into a hypnotic hum. Piffle managed to fall asleep back-to-back with Zinc.

Then he jolted her awake as he suddenly sproinged up. His wrenchhands gripped the sides of the cart in anticipation. His tail began to wag.

He had seen the word 'garage' up ahead.

Piffle rubbed her eyes and antennae. "...Whuzzit?"

"I know we had kind of a solemn moment back there," Zinc said to everyone, "so I hope I'm not painting myself as an insensitive clod to point out that..." He became too verklempt to say anything more than, "...TH' CAR!!!"

Junella looked over and chuckled. "No one's gonna bitch about you getting excited, partner. Look at you. You're like a puppy waiting on his kibble."

The mutt bounced up and down in his seat. "Sounds about right. I can't wait for you guys to see it! I told the mechanic he could put some of his own flair on it and surprise me." He bit his lip. "My baby's gonna be all grown up now!!"

Piffle giggled and turned herself around to squeeze him. "Thanks for being a good pillow."

"Pleasure's all mine, toots." He was a bit too excited about the car to notice, but something in her gaze had changed since the day before.

The outside wall of Ectopia Cordis is set up very much like a strip mall. Wherever there aren't entrances, there are stores. Food carts, souvenir stands, phone booths, armories, imaginite-to-luxybux exchange stations, arcades, even pet shops. To accommodate as many as possible, most of these establishments are tiny, all crammed in beside each other like cereal boxes. But standing apart from the rest was the towering marble columns and gold-plated ivy of Rippingbean & Woofingbutter's Autoparadise. A vast, open showroom where curvy hot rods and bristling safari trucks rotated on raised platforms like gladiators before battle.

Zinc whined with lustful desire when he caught his first glimpse of the new and improved Fearsleigher. He vaulted out of the cart, elbowing a few customers by accident, and ran over to start drooling.

The canine stood, panting hard, enraptured to the point of paralysis.

"Oh, baby. They treated you good..."

Another parking attendant was on hand to take the cart. George unhitched himself and joined the others beside Zinc. Toby stopped dead in his tracks when he finally saw their new beast. 'Holy heck! Maybe I'm actually gonna be safe on this trip after all!'

When he'd left the Fearsleigher three days ago, it had been mostly-silver and mostly-rumpled. Now it looked like a towering fusion of style and threat. The hood had been extended several feet by welding on the front end from a mid-fifties cruiser. The headlights looked like gleaming, sightless frog's eyes. The grille was an endless expanse of chrome fangs. Below it hung two overpowered-looking machine guns, the kind with the polka-dot perforated barrels. And below them were two bayonets as big as elephant tusks. This new face had been seamlessly integrated into the original military-transport shell. Two killer fins jutted out from the back as well, with taillights like red lipstick tips.

All over it was black. Flowing, shimmering obsidian. With guest appearances by mouthwatering chrome, milky white pinstriping, and halloween-orange flames airbrushed so vividly they almost seemed to radiate heat. And the name on the side was spelled correctly!

The armaments were upgraded as well. The spikes along the sides were bigger, and curved in various directions. At the heart of each was an impaled plushie. Toby remembered Junella saying how their love energy warded off nightmares. But for uglies that didn't get the message, there were the aforementioned twin ratatats and pig-stickers, plus a painful-looking nail-studded snowplow which currently adorned the roof, creating a V-shaped shield for the other new addition: that gorgeous brass gatling gun. To make room for it up top, the harpoon turret was now mounted on a triangular platform jutting out from the back bumper. Toby noticed the brass gun had been further customized with the addition of about four extra handles. He couldn't fathom why.

The giant-size ice skates were attached differently as well. No longer was the chassis welded directly onto them. The body of the car now sat on a rotating mount with the skates emerging from a separate section below. The advantage in steering seemed immediately obvious.

Zinc finally snapped out of his trance and ran over to throw his arms around the right skate, smearing sloppy kisses all over the metal. "She's BEAUTIFUL! She's STUPENDOUS! Somebody stop my heart from goin' Nagasaki!" Just as abruptly, he spun away and piledrived Piffle in an equally passionate embrace. "Oh THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for bankrollin' her!!"

The hamsterfly cooed happily and kissed his cheek. "Making you this happy was worth every nickel!"

"Oh I am, babycakes! I am! You can't even believe!" He swept his arms towards the car (nearly knocking over Toby) "This is my best Christmas morning ever!"

Because the temptation was impossible to resist, Zinc started babbling about all the modifications. "We got all-new, all-hog leather interior. Stuff'll damn near stop a bullet. We got new shocks, new windows, new cup holders. We got state-of-the-art Himmelman 500 headlamps on this bad mama. So-named because that's the degrees Fahrenheit they can output on anything stupid enough to stand in our way. I talked with Andy a long time about maybe slappin' an engine up inside to take the workload off George." The stallion looked noticeably crestfallen at the idea. "We shot the shit back and forth over whether we oughtta go with internal combustion or a Cyrus Tear, and we did 'ventually use a small Tear for something else, but it was Junella who had the idea on how to keep our beast running on good ol' American horsepower."

"I don't believe I qualify as American," George pointed out.

"Don't spoil his rhythm," Junella whispered. "There's nothing little pups love more than showing off their toys."

This was true. "Now up top you'll see that sexy, deadly, honey-colored six-shooter we bought..."
Zinc went on like this for quite a while. Until something peeked out from the backseat window. Something small and brown.

Junella drew her cutlass. "Zinc, there's a varmint in the car!"

"What!?"

But Piffle knew exactly what it was. She spread her wings and zoomed up to the door.

"Hello?"

A little burlap head popped up.

Piffle flung open the door and divebombed in. "Oh, DOLL! It is you!!" She hugged and squoze the little plastic toy until they both nearly burst. "I'm so sorry we left you in here all this time! And look at you! Look how smart you are! Let's go show everyone your new trick!"

The overjoyed hamsterfly jumped out from the backseat and held up what looked like a baggy brown ghost. "Looky, guys! Doll figgered out how to move!"

An arm-shaped lump waved to them.

Junella remembered the parameters of Doll's curse: motionless while being observed. But now that she'd found a bulky bag to slip into, no part of her anatomy was visible. "I gotta admit, that's clever. And I think she might actually be less creepy this way. She jus' looks like a wobbly potato."

Toby had a moment of confusion, until it was swallowed by overwhelming embarrassment as he realized he'd forgotten all about their plastic companion. She'd been waiting in the car this whole time! It'd been days!! The poor girl! And he was supposed to be responsible for taking care of her! Toby's cheeks burned. He felt like a heel.

Zinc had a spark of recognition when he saw the burlap. "Oh, hey! I dunno how it ended up in the Fearsleigher, but remember it, Juney? That's the sack we kept Sulilong's big stupid head in!"

"Oh, right!!" She cackled. "I got a kick out of listenin' to him in the back of the Killcanoe, rolling around and swearing the whole fuckin' time!"

Toby gave them a quizzical look.

"Old bounty of ours."

Piffle hopped down daintily, bringing Doll over to Toby. They cuddled her between them. "I'm really sorry we made you wait on us so long," Toby said. "At least we can tell you a good story about why."

Piffle nodded. "Yup! We got nicked by the pigs for disturbin' the peace! But it was all for a good cause though, don't you worry!"

Doll's head turned back and forth as she listened, still silent as ever. But then from under the sack came a scribbling sound.

"Oh right, you gave her a notepad," Toby remembered.

They were patient as Doll wrote. In the background, Toby could see another of those cat guys: the miniature clones that had been running the automotive department upstairs. There were plenty of him running around the garage too. This one seemed to be the original, since he was twice as tall as the rest. His nametag marked him as Andy. He and Zinc started talking about the car, with the canine making lots of exuberant gestures to express his satisfaction. Several customers had to duck out of the way of his wrenches, lest they get uppercutted into next week.

Finally, a slip of paper appeared from the bottom of Doll's bag. Piffle plucked it and read aloud. The handwriting wasn't the best (as Doll had been writing in the dark), but it was legible.

"I hAD A GooD rest. I hoPe no1 MInDs Me usInG the BAG. I Cant see WeLL but I Can MoVe soMe noW. GooD 2 Be toGether."

"And it's wonderful to see you too," Piffle said.

Toby patted Doll's head. "We won't leave you alone again."

She reached out, indicating she wanted to hug them both. They held her between them.

Doll had been polite and casual about her isolation, but Toby thought he felt her true feelings emerge in that hug. Enormous relief.


***


The new seats of the Fearsleigher took some getting used to. The leather had come from the hog-like nightmares that patrolled the city's garbage, so it was stiff and thick. Almost like sitting on steak.

The car was still in park. Toby sat sideways in the front passenger seat with the door open, legs dangling off the side. Junella and Piffle were side-by-side, lounging on the hood, waiting for Zinc and Andy to finish talking shop. Doll was currently cuddled up in Piffle's cozy lap. And Junella must have been in a good mood since she hadn't said a word so far about Doll's proximity.

Zinc shook Andy's hand (carefully). "I can't thank you enough. She's so souped up, we might reach the mountain by tomorrow."

The mechanic chuckled. "I should be thanking you for letting me work on her! These scratchbuilt jobs're usually a pain in the tail, but you put her together simple and solid. Cooperative as can be. I hate to say it, but I almost hope you get banged up on the way back so you'll have reason to bring her here again!"

The canine and feline laughed. "You have my word," Zinc assured. "Though if my aim is true, I won't let her get so much as a ding."

"Awww," Andy mock-pouted. Toby had noticed that whenever the cat talked, all the other miniatures nearby would move their lips in unison with him. It was kind of spooky.

The cat and mutt parted ways and Zinc clapped his wrenches together. "Allright, go-cats! Deal's done and we're almost ready to vamoose. I didn't forget about grabbing us a last hot lunch. How 'bout that taco place we passed? The one with the guy in the jalapeno costume?"

Junella wrinkled her nose. "I remember saying 'not too spicy'."

"Chill, Lucille. I'll bring back somethin' nice for ya."

"I don't know what I want," Toby spoke up.

"I'll just get a bit of this'n'that." Zinc held up the roll of Luxybux. "Gonna be a long time before we have another opportunity to spend these."

After he exited, Junella bunched up her scarf behind her head and leaned back against the windshield, savoring these last few moments of calm before they'd head out into the suck.

"What's our plan once we get the ol' jalopy rollin'?" Piffle asked.

Junella cocked an eyebrow. "Weren't you paying attention when I showed Toby the map? No, wait. You weren't there. Forgot." She grumbled a bit, but rolled over on her side so she could gesture with her finger along an imaginary route. "Just don't laugh at me if I can't pronounce half these damn complicated names."

"I'd never," Piffle assured.

George leaned in to listen, wanting to make sure he correctly recalled everything she'd said back in Scrofula. Toby listened too, since he'd forgotten every word of it.

"We're here," Junella started, pointing at the wiper fluid nozzle. "The quickest shot to the mountain's not exactly the safest, so we'll be going long for Toby's sake. And honestly, mine too. After all the bullshit we waded through here, the more road stress I can avoid, the better.

"Directly from the parking lot we'll be on the main highway. The whole thing's one giant nightmare. Alive, but barely mobile."

"Like a coral reef?" Toby asked.

"That's just about dead on," she said, nodding to the mouse. He felt pleased. "Doesn't mean it's harmless though. It doesn't like people driving on it, so it reacts like anyone else when they feel a bug on their skin. It'll send out bucketloads of minor constructs to swat us. But the car'll handle 'em. The highway's a breeze if you keep up your defenses and keep moving. Should almost be fun, if you like roller coasters."

Toby winced. "What if I don't?"

"Then try not to ralph on the seats," she said with a blithe smile.

Toby made a note to keep several baggies on hand.

"What next?" Piffle asked. She'd gotten herself rotated so she was lying on her tummy with her legs kicking back and forth. Doll was seated between her wings.

"From the highway, we end up at the river bridge. It's the simplest part of the journey: stay in the car and wait. The bridge'll take us to Lumbago. It's a hole. Literally. Big damn canyon with rope bridges all across. The vertigo'd be bad enough without all the biteranodons."

"I ate some of those!" Piffle remembered.

"And now they'll wanna eat you," Junella replied, pointing a finger. Then she motioned with it along the hood: the car traveling an invisible route. "Assuming we get across, we've gotta zip through a blast furnace called Fistula. After, if we're lucky, we'll run across Gilla-Gilla somewhere in the flesh forest."

"What happens if we're not lucky?" Piffle asked.

"Then we get to sleep outside and be woken up every five seconds by constructs," she replied matter-of-factly. "Gilla's an old colleague and he's got his own place. Plus he's got paranoia down to an art. His shack's the safest place in the world next to Coryza.

"We'll mooch some rest and breakfast off him, then it's on to..." She stuttered a bit, having to piece together syllables to make a word that was definitely nowhere in her lyrics, "...Drapetomania. The humidity there's bad enough to make you wish for death. Also, cacti that grow like tentacles. And they'll lunge at you. Though when you crack 'em open they make a damn fine soup."

Piffle licked her lips.

"Oh and don't forget the huge invisible bees! Bet you can't guess how fun they are! Next up..." Another difficult word. "...Borborygmus. More desert, but drier. Almost smooth sailing if it wasn't for the Okononos."

"The Okononos?"

"Six-foot-tall, pink-as-hell bunnyrabbits."

Piffle grinned at the thought. "That doesn't sound so bad!"

Junella sneered in revulsion. "They're the biggest bunch of disgusting rapists imaginable. You do NOT want to get caught by them."

Piffle looked quite startled. Then she blushed. "I'm sure that would be just terrible," she said unconvincingly.

Junella narrowed her eyes. "Suit yourself. You are dressed for bait after all. If we can toss you to 'em like meat to wild dogs, and it gets 'em to stay as far the fuck as possible away from me, I'm good with that."

"Then we agree!" Piffle said with a sunny smile.

Junella needed a moment to not say all the things it occurred to her to say then.

"So after the valley of the naughty rabbits, what then?"

Junella tried to remember that far out. It'd been a while. "Then there's a vomit swamp. We'll want the windows rolled up tight. Might run into cops, might not. That leads to Rhinolith, where we might be able to snag a bedtime before the maze." She sighed, all humor leaving her face. "I'm sure with George we'll sail right through, but it's one of the places easiest to get lost in. The walls are covered in writing, and if you read one word, you'll have to read another. And another. Forever."

Piffle shuddered. She certainly didn't mind new experiences, but her zeal for them was within reason.

Junella gestured with her hand, indicating a great big empty area. "Then... Dysphoria. Ain't nothing I can say will prepare you for it. It's not a place you ever want to go back to. It gets in your head. You can't trust your perceptions. It's..." She threw up her hands. "It's every nightmare you've ever had. All at once. No better way to put it than that."

Piffle tried to stay hopeful. "But after that's the mountain, right?"

Junella nodded. "Yeah. Supposedly it's an easy climb. They say."

Piffle rolled over onto her back, scooping Doll into her arms as she did so. She needed something to hug. "And then we'll meet Aldridge and Toby can go home," she said resolutely.

Toby sighed. "It still kinda weighs on my conscience that you guys are doing all this for me."

"Well it ain't 'cause of my naturally altruistic demeanor," Junella reminded him. She reached out to pat George's muzzle. "You promised me a hell of a payment."

He whinnied, proud of his value.

"Plus..." She debated for a moment telling them this. "...supposedly, if Aldridge is in a good mood, he's been known to hand out favors."

Piffle sat up. "Could he fix Doll?" she asked immediately.

"Maybe," the skunk acknowledged. Piffle started to bounce with glee and Junella restrained her shoulder. "Calm down, Little Miss Lollipop. I don't wanna get your hopes up. There is not a lot of recent intel on the man. We're going off what we know from events that happened before any of us were born. Fairy tales. For all anyone knows he could be dead up there. Or maybe he went back to his home."

Toby felt his heart drop through his stomach. "So it's possible that we could do all that work, go through all that awfulness... for nothing?"

She leaned over on her elbow, making direct eye contact. "Yes. It's possible," she said in her most sincere, 'no bullshit' tone.

He looked out across empty space. "I hadn't realized that. I thought Aldridge was a certainty."

"He probably is," Junella replied. "We're not talkin' 50/50 here. This was a guy with the powers of God, who stuck around through all the worst eras this world ever saw. I can't think of anything that'd kill him or make him give up. But nothing's ever certain, mouse. Swallow that pill now and get it over with."

Toby gulped.

Piffle tossed a smile his way. "If nuttin' else, if we get to the top and see a 'gone fishing' sign, I'm sure the view from up there'll be spectacular!"

The mouse couldn't help but smile. "Piffle, you are just optimism incarnate."

She was quite pleased at that.

Junella had a thought. "I know one thing I'm gonna ask him for."

"Whazzat?" Piffle asked.

"If he can flick his magic wand and teleport our asses back to my sweet Jennie-Mae. I am NOT looking forward to repeating this whole odyssey in reverse~"

Piffle nodded agreement. "Especially without Toby."

"Aww," he said.

"Well of course I'll miss you when you're gone, you silly goose!"

A sombrero sailed through the air like a UFO and landed on Junella's head.

"Bullseye!" Zinc shouted.

She turned slowly towards her partner, grumpy as a fat cat. "Te voy a apuñalar repetidamente."

"And I love you too, Junebug." He tossed two bulging sacks up onto the hood which rapidly filled the air with amazing smells. Piffle and Toby were drawn in like magnets.

Zinc ascended George's back to join them. "I basically pointed to the menu and said 'All of it'. They whipped it up quick. Service was friendly. But holy shit, someone did a crime in that bathroom!" He pinched his nose. "Call the FBI!"

"We did not need to know that particular information, Zinc," Junella informed him.

He took no notice. "How 'bout we take our seats, get buckled in, and we'll eat once we get movin'?"

Toby cocked his head. "Isn't eating while driving dangerous?"

Zinc blinked, and then he grinned. He looked at Junella and grinned harder. He looked at George and grinned even harder. "Shall we show him our little idea?"

"I would be quite pleased to!" the horse enthused.

"Ditto for me." Junella gave Toby a look like she had a delicious secret, then took hold of the windshield frame and gracefully swung herself into the driver's seat. She disposed of her sombrero onto a passing Andy.

Piffle handed the chow sacks to Toby, then flitted to the back seat. He climbed past the shift lever to join her.

Zinc poked his head through Junella's window. "Uh-uh. I get to drive first."

She fixed him with a look. "You stuck me with the car while you went out callin' on Miz Millie. I know it ain't strictly your fault, but that action set into motion the whole carnival-ass rigmarole we been through the last two days."

"You're gonna blame me for that? Really!?" he huffed. "I just went and bought you dinner!"

Junella's scowl intensified.

Zinc clacked his wrenchtips menacingly.

She rolled her eyes. "Look at it this way: you get first dibs to hop up on the roof and use the gun."

This changed his mood immediately. He leaned in and kissed her nose. "Peachy-keen, babe."

Toby asked out his window, "So what's the surprise?"

Zinc paused and thought. "Actually, you're gonna want to see this firsthand. My mistake. Hop back out."

Toby grumbled. He'd just figured out where the seatbelt was.

Everyone piled out of the car and stood in front of it. Zinc slid down from George's back and gave his ribs a pat. "You ready for this?"

"Without hesitation, Sir Zinc! The mechanic named Andy, by which I mean the instance of him capable of speech, allowed me to practice several times. It is actually quite invigorating."

Toby listened to this, quite puzzled.

Junella chuckled at him. "Remember that thing I did with the parrot potion?"

From beneath the Fearsleigher, in between the skate blades, Zinc unfolded a harness rig that snapped tidily into place. George backed up into it. A snug fit. He allowed his fatty outer shell to dissolve back into his bones as the canine dashed around him, getting all the straps secured.

Toby noticed that the harness had several glass spheres attached. He thought at first they were lightbulbs.

"All tucked in cozy?" Zinc asked George once he'd double-checked the buckles.

"Quite so!"

"Then the stage is yours, my friend. You're on."

"I believe I need someone to break a bottle first."

"Oh, right," Zinc turned to Junella. "Wanna do the honors?"

"Sure." In one smooth motion, she dumbfounded her revolver into her hand, aimed, and shot through one of the glass balls.

The gunshot drew the attention of the garage's other customers, and what they saw next dropped their jaws.

Transformation potion spilled from the shattered glass all over George's flank. His bones stiffened as he felt the liquid seep in. He calmed his mind, giving no resistance, even visualizing his new shape to help it take him over.

George's rainbow lights changed hue. Small flickers of violet lightning traveled up and down his body like veins. They sizzled along the harness as well, up into the Fearsleigher, until both horse and cart were pulsing with a purple glow.

Instead of changing shape, George was slowly pulled into the underside of the car.

The Fearsleigher seemed to suck him in and gobble him up. Toby had noticed earlier there was a hole above the front grille. He now knew what it was for, as George's skull emerged. A hood ornament. But the transformation wasn't over.

Purple lightning cracked and popped like firecrackers. The potion began to swell George's legs. They bulged into oval shapes. George groaned low in his throat at the unnatural stretching sensation. Then, with a snap like a falling tree branch, each one of them split down the middle into a hoop shape.

Toby understood now. The car was turning George into a set of wheels!

The spectral stallion crowed with pleasure. The transformation felt like a good, deep back massage. The potion's energy tugged and molded his legs, stretching them into circles as tall as the ice skate blades. It thickened them into dense bone tires, all while lowering his hips and shoulders into axles.

Now it was time for the car to transform as well. As soon as the Fearsleigher's weight was off the skates, the skates themselves began to raise. Customers on either side backed out of the way. The massive metal blades rose until they were perfectly horizontal. Then, with a 'KERCHUK', they retracted in to lock in place: from frictionless runners to deadly-sharp defensive weapons.

On the roof, the nail-studded snowplow began to lower on hydraulic armatures. It passed George's face, the bayonets retracted momentarily to give it some room, and with a 'KHUNK' it settled into place below. The car now had a face. Headlights for eyes, a skull for a nose, two steel elephant tusks, and a bristly beard.

George let out a bellow of raw triumph, sending jets of flame from his nostrils and exhausts. He was now the car. The car was now him. Chariot and horse had fused into an unstoppable juggernaut of bone, fire, and steel. George could feel every part of the car like his own marrow. The spikes and guns were now his flesh. It felt powerful.

"I ENJOY THIS IMMENSELY!!!" he roared at the top of his lungs. The walls and floor shook, displays trembled, and screaming customers scattered like rats.

Zinc giggled in total joy.

George popped his four doors open. "Come, my friends! Step inside me! We have many miles to travel, and I cannot wait to start! Oh, I cannot convey to you the sheer dynamic exhilaration of this new form! I feel ten times my normal strength! Swift as the wind! More mighty than God himself!!!"

Junella's eyes got wide. "Might wanna ease back a bit there, George."

He looked around and noticed he'd scared away everyone else in the store. Even Piffle and Toby were clinging warily to each other. "Oh. Oh my! I'm terribly sorry about that, dear companions! I assure you, I'm fine now."

Toby hesitated just a moment before stepping forward. "You sure? You seemed to be going a bit 'mad scientist' there."

"Indeed, Sire," he said with a nod. "It would have been hard not to. This configuration does things to me. But I assure you, I am one hundred per cent in control of myself now. And considerably embarrassed!"

Zinc chortled. "No need to be! I envy you! I wouldn't mind merging with this hot piece o' steel myself." He leapt up into the driver's seat and slammed the door.

"HEY!" Junella ran over and pounded it. "I thought we agreed I was driving!?"

Zinc leaned over the side, smiling like the world champion of smug bastards. "Yes, partner, but you forgot that I'm an asshole."

And Zinc had forgotten that Junella was still holding a revolver. She shot him in the neck and kicked his body over to the passenger side.

Piffle and Toby both shrieked.

"Quitcher bitchin'! Like you've never seen a little bit of blood before!"


***


Zinc recovered quickly as usual, and if anything, had an even bigger smirk on at having teased his partner to the point of homicide. He popped the glove compartment and a swarm of gold ladybugs emerged to clean up his previous remains. Thanks to Piffle, they'd finally been able to afford the kind that returned to their box once they were done (and not eat the seats).

Junella was pleased with the Fearsleigher's new layout. She finally had a steering wheel in her hands, which just felt natural. No more shouting out the window for course corrections. And if she still needed to, with George's head on the hood they could hear each other more clearly.

Many pedestrians hollered, gawked, or took photos as the first-of-its-kind car/construct fusion rolled out of Rippingbean & Woofingbutter's. The crowd, for the most part, was good about getting out of the way to let George pass. Though the stallion's heart yearned for speed, he adopted a turtle's pace, as there were gobs of people and kiosks he had to avoid trampling.

The Taco Shack sacks were opened and the food divvied up. Junella gave Zinc a genuine smile at having brought her an amazing-looking avocado salad. The rest was a smorgasbord of quesadillas, tacos, empanadas, burritos, carnitas, dip, chips and cervezas. Zinc had even considered that Toby and Piffle might not want to get shitfaced and passed them some horchata. Toby drank a bottle halfway in one gulp and licked his lips. If this stuff had come from imaginite, then the chef had a really good imagination! Piffle decided to be bold and try a beer, while Junella went straight for the tequila. Piffle again expressed how sorry she was that Doll couldn't share in their feast, but a note from under the burlap assured her that she was more than happy to luxuriate in the smells. The hamsterfly called out to ask if George wanted any vittles. He said that all he hungered for at the moment was speed.

Soon enough he'd nudged his way past the ring of warm bodies encircling the city into the parking lot proper. There were fewer things to dodge in the lanes, but also the occasional loose pig-thing to consider. He asked Junella which direction the highway was, and for a second she was stumped.

Zinc remembered the trick though. "Look way up until you can spot Luxyland. One of the rides juts out, like a finger pointing the way." It was one of the few static patches of EC, and its placement on the beam was for the specific reason of directing traffic.

She smiled at him. "You're bein' all kinds of helpful today, partner. I'm almost sorry I shot you."

"No you're not," he needled. They shared a grin and he went back to trying to hold nachos in his wrenches without snapping them.

As has been mentioned before, Ectopia Cordis' parking lot is a wonder to behold. Fifteen hundred square miles of grey pavement stretched out to the horizon. It is said that you can only see the edge from Bigwheel Fifty-Two. This gave George lots and lots of practice room. As enthusiastic as he was about his new form, he had to admit that enthusiasm is not the same as experience. He was so used to hooves! Having his tires in constant contact with the road was an entirely different sensation. And while driving was far easier than galloping, that also meant it would be equally easy to slip up and skid out. So once he was past the majority of pedestrians, he played a bit, taking a winding route through the parked cars, occasionally seeing how tight of a turn he could make. He hoped instinct would help him hold the road when he got fully up to speed later. And the question burned brightly in his mind: just how fast could he go now?

The food had seemed endless at first, but then dwindled so quickly that they all blinked in bafflement when it ran out, as if a magician had whisked it away. Bits of lettuce and chopped tomatoes sprinkled the seats. Everyone's bellies bulged pleasantly, their fingers dripped with oil and cheese, and their tongues dozed peacefully in heaven. Junella had blazed through the tequila like a champion and swallowed the worm without even realizing it. There were quite a few empties below Zinc's seat as well. This was yet another George-advantage: he made a perfect designated driver.

Toby wiped himself clean with five or so wet-naps, then balled all the wrappers and containers into a tidy lump. He wasn't sure what to do with it though.

"Over here," Zinc indicated. He flipped a switch on the dash and a hatch opened in the ceiling. The trash was stuffed inside while the canine explained that this was another purchase: a dandy solution to the problem of the many, many bullet casings the brass gun was gonna spit out. Any kind of waste could go in the collection hatch and get compressed into caltrops. Whenever they needed to take out some tires, they could just reach up into the ceiling for a handful. "Works with anything! Casings, garbage, I could even stuff you in there!" he kidded.

"I don't think I'd make very good caltrops," Toby replied. "Someone'd step on me and they'd just hear muffled whining."

Zinc cracked up.

Toby was happy with himself for that bit of self-deprecating humor. It had come naturally. Maybe he was finally loosening up a little.

He looked out the window to notice they were about halfway through the lot. Long-term parking. Getting close to permanent-term. Plenty of the cars out here looked broken into. Some were up on blocks. Toby imagined thieves working the acres of cars like a coal mine, moving inward as each layer was stripped down to nothing but chassis.

Behind him the city was still bright as ever. A colossal heaven-reaching tube of sprockets and shine. Toby didn't quite know how to feel about the place. Or did he feel everything at once? Relief that he was being allowed to leave instead of sentenced to The Pipe. Regret at not having been able to see some of the sights Zinc had mentioned, like Luxyland. Unease at how different the city's principles had been from his own. Lingering dizziness from the sheer visual overload. He thought about the masked kid whose jaw he'd broken. About the pink hotel room. The spatula elevators. The loud restaurant. Mr. Roosman. Millie. Kay and Kaye. The muskrat with the screwy eyes. The fox with the messed-up face and his invisible gorilla partner. And looming over all of it, that raccoon with the smile like a mouthful of blades.

Toby felt a rumbling in his gut that he first ascribed to being overemotional. Nope: overfull. The payload of spicy food in his guts began to fire off, resulting in some world-class burps.

Zinc guffawed from the front seat. "Ten points!"

Piffle hid her giggle and patted the mouse's arm. "Dinner not agreeing with ya?"

"I've probably never had a meal that heavy before. I guess even here, I can't suspend disbelief enough to think my stomach would be okay with it." He urped again. "Worth it though."

Zinc got an idea, inspired by the trio they'd met beside Gyre 2. He dug out the cornucopia he'd bought and produced a bottle of ginger ale for himself. "Want one? This stuff's always good for settling stomachs and preventing chowder showers."

Toby grimaced at that colorful term, but he knew from years of experience that ginger ale was good stuff for an upset tummy. "Sure."

Zinc held it up. "Just reach in and take one."

Toby squinted at the thing. It looked exactly like the big wicker cones you'd sometimes see as Thanksgiving decorations. He reached into the open end and suddenly felt cold glass fill his palm. A bottle of his favorite brand was there when he took his hand out. He narrowed his eyes. "Wait, how's this work? Is there super-concentrated imaginite in there or something?"

Zinc was impressed he'd think of that. "Nah. Totally different principle. Take a sip."

Toby was wary of the canine's grin, but unscrewed the top from his bottle and was about to drink.

Zinc suddenly brought his wrenches together with a 'CLANGG'.

"Yaaah!" Toby jumped at the noise. Then he fumbled his hands around, trying to catch the bottle before it fell and spilled and... Wait, where was it?

Piffle could not resist a giggle at the pure bafflement on her mouse friend's face.

Zinc guffawed too. "Cornucopias only make illusions," he explained. "Imaginite's got substance to it. It'll fill you up. This won't. But it's great if you wanna just snack on something or get a bad taste out of your mouth."

"Pretty neat," Toby said. He reached in for another bottle, then a small box of saltines. He was mindful to keep his attention on them this time.

Piffle reached past and pulled out a dish of buttermints. Junella managed to arch her arm all the way back to steal a few. She was just about to pop them in her mouth when she found herself airborne.

Everyone shrieked.

The Fearsleigher landed with a hard thump on the pavement. George had been getting so confident in his new driving skills that, upon seeing a few station wagons heaped together in a ramp-like configuration, he'd decided to jump them.

Everyone's food had vanished. Junella sighed in mild irk. "Are you having fun, George?"

He was chortling with glee until he heard her voice. "To be perfectly honest, yes. I apologize, but I found myself in high spirits."

How could she stay mad at that naughty schoolboy tone? It reminded her of Zinc. "Fine, fine. But save the stuntwork till after our snack. Better still, save it for the highway."

"Absolutely!" he pledged. "I cannot wait to get there!"

Junella found a line from a sea shanty on her flank. "Steady as she goes, then. Forward to the storm."

Zinc passed around the cornucopia again.




-***-

CHAPTER FIFTY



It had been night for so long, Toby had nearly forgotten real sunshine. If asked, he probably wouldn't have remembered where he'd seen it last. It had been dark throughout his time in Coryza, in Amaurosis Fugax, in Polycoria, and in EC as well. At least then it had been easy to not notice due to the city's constant artificial brightness.

Toby was in the back seat, finishing his soda and looking out the window at the Veil Of Tears. The constellations roamed to and fro as they had for centuries. Beings of starlight, decorating the blackness around them. Toby wondered how sentient they were. Were they merely animate and reactive like nightmare constructs? Or did they have thoughts and dreams of their own? Were they souls like him, who had ended up in Phobiopolis and were changed?

These dreamy thoughts distracted him from noticing that they were nearing the edge of the parking lot.

As soon as they passed over, the sun sucker-punched Toby in the eyeballs.

"AAAIIIIGH!!"

It was a good thing George didn't need to blink, because everyone else in the car was sure doing a lot of it. At the exact edge of the lot, they passed through the region of eternal night into a section of Phobiopolis that kept more or less regular hours. Meaning the merciless afternoon sun was directly overhead. Whether the architects of Ectopia Cordis had built the parking lot right up to an already-existing terminator, or if Phobiopolis conformed itself to a man-made boundary, no one knew. Either way, the effect was like stepping out of a darkroom into a spotlight.

It was also a good thing they had set up some automatic defenses for the car. The sextet couldn't see the nightmares that had been waiting at the edge of the daylight to ambush blinded tourists, but they all heard the squeals as the scavenging beasts leapt at the sides of the vehicle and were deterred by spikes, skates, or stuffed animals.

When the travelers' eyes adjusted, they could see that George was ferrying them along a dirt path in the corpse of a coniferous forest. The land was scorched yellow. Trees like blackened popsicle sticks leaned alarmingly. Chunks of charred branches were all over the road. Nothing grew here but scribbled bushes, barely hanging on.

They didn't spend long in this place. Less than a mile away, the highway and the cliff came into view.

Toby had to shield his eyes again. He thought at first that Hypovolemia was a long bridge over an ocean. But that reflection wasn't water. As they neared, Toby leaned out the window and realized with terror that they'd be driving over an ocean of broken glass. He zipped back into his seat and rechecked that he was all belted in.

The sound beneath George's wheels changed as they left the dirt and rumbled onto a ten-lane ribbon of concrete. The dead forest ended as abruptly as the parking lot had, this time falling away into a thirty foot cliff. Below was a vast basin of shards. Windowpanes, liquor bottles, syringes, television screens. Anything broken that came to a jagged point. The glass stretched out endlessly in all directions, reflecting sunlight in daggers. It would've taken a fleet of trash trucks decades to haul it all, but Phobiopolis had brought it into existence on nothing weightier than the fears of its dreamers.

Junella and Zinc tossed their empties out the window. Because, why not?

Junella had said the freeway was a gargantuan living nightmare, and while it didn't twitch or growl as they drove onto its flesh, there were still signs. Its white and yellow lines were oddly organic, like stripes. It was supported off the ground by asymmetric concrete beams that looked more like tree trunks or elephant legs. And where the road connected to the forest path, there were sun-shriveled fleshroots anchoring it in the dirt. The highway was like an insect: an exoskeleton of concrete with all its squishy innards sandwiched in between. This was visible at the edges of the outer lanes. Rebar stuck out like curly hairs, and scabs dripped oil wherever the creature's flesh was exposed.

'Of course there's no guardrails!' Toby thought. If they fell off this road, it would be one of the worst fates in all Phobiopolis. There would be nothing else to do but crawl towards land, bleeding to death repeatedly along the way. And what if you sank? What if you fell beneath the surface of that glass ocean, shredded to pieces again and again as you resurrected eternally?

Toby did not have to be told how sharp the stuff was. There were crashed vehicles all around with crimson trails leading away from them. Nightmares patrolled on bloodied feet, searching for skeletons they could tear a last few morsels from.

Up ahead on the road, there were more of the hog-like things that circled EC's garbage piles. Toby also saw furry things slithering up the leg supports, and faraway, circling specks in the sky. He was struck with a memory of a science documentary about the many mites and bacteria which live on people's skin. 'Holy crap, this thing isn't just a big nightmare, it's got its own ecosystem!'

And farther to the horizon, he could see that this ride would not remain smooth for long. This was the first time he could remember Phobiopolis throwing something at him he'd actually dreamt about before. At nighttime back home, memories of curling up in the backseat on long car trips had become bad dreams of impossibly-twisted roads with humongous bumps and loop-de-loops. Far in the distance, he could see the highway curling around like a snake, rising high up in the sky, chunks flaking down from the undersides as the creature they fell from slowly writhed like a great dormant god.

The sight alone was making Toby's saltines want to come back up, even though he knew he hadn't actually eaten them.

In contrast to Toby's increasing dread, Zinc was bouncing in his seat, giddy and eager. "Man alive, Juney! Here come the constructs! We spent plenty on all these new toys, let's play with 'em!"

They were closing in on a pack of pigs. Some unlucky motorist had crashed their car and now half a dozen snorting swine were crawling all over the wreckage, eating literally every piece of it. Seats, doors, windows, bodies, everything. Toby couldn't help but wonder where the folks inside had gone to.

The pigbeasts all looked up at the sound of new meat approaching on four bone wheels.

George called out, "I would rather we didn't allow them to dine upon us."

Junella figured Piffle had spent enough will on their ride, she deserved a chance to have fun with it. "See this, Piff?" she pointed out a switch on the dash. "Headlights. Give 'em a try."

"But it's daytime!"

Zinc chuckled; she hadn't been listening to him earlier at the shop.

They were getting closer and closer to the hogs. "Just hit the switch."

The hamsterfly shrugged. She strained a bit to squeeze her chubby tummy between the seats, but gave it a flip as directed.

Instantly: the sound of scorching meat and squeals of pain.

The Fearsleigher's headlights came on with a brightness that made the sun look like a dead bulb, focused intensely into two tight beams. Toby didn't know if they were more like lasers or lightsabers, but they speared out ahead of the car for about half a mile. And whatever they touched started burning. Hogs became kindling as George jiggled the car back and forth to target them. Some of them ran and jumped off the edge to get away.

Zinc's tail wagged in sadistic glee. "Ha! Barbecued pork!"

"Jeepers!" Piffle said. She knew they were nightmare constructs, but she almost felt bad for them.

He noticed her concern. "Our first car broke down out here years ago. Imagine trying to rebuild an engine from mindfucked parts while an army of nightmares is all trying to sink their teeth into you. Ain't no picnic. So every time we come back, we like to savor our revenge."

The headlights were effective, but only worked in a straight line. Some of the pigs, along with a few puma-sized ratbeasts with six hips, figured out how to dodge around the beams and come charging at the car.

Junella grinned. "Persistent. Shall I light 'em up, partner?"

"Please do, m'dear!"

She extended her pinkies as she flipped the covers off two square sections of steering wheel, revealing big shiny buttons. When she jammed her thumbs down on them, everyone's ears rang with the ACKACKACKACKACKACK of gunfire.

The pigs and rats spun and danced as the machine gun's bullets tore into them like paper dolls. The nailplow handily knocked the corpses out of the way. Nightmare blood flooded the lanes and made red smeary tracks for George to drive through. "Such an interesting sensation. Like prancing in warm mud!"

Toby was very glad that his friends all seemed to have everything under control and he didn't need to do more than keep still. He held Doll, pretending to comfort her, when it was really the other way around. He tried to tell himself it wasn't his cowardice acting up, just a distaste for adrenaline after the overdose he'd endured in EC. Sitting this out sounded fine to him.

He watched from the sidelines until a smear of peripheral movement jerked his head to the window. Just in time to see another rat creature leap at the car and split itself in half along a skate blade. Black blood splattered the glass. Toby saw the rat's body go tumbling and somersaulting away behind them.

Ah, but he'd brought friends. Rats and pigs and other things were scrambling up the legs of the bridge and onto the road. Coarse fur, black eyes, long claws, and yellow teeth. A squirming mass of ugliness. Toby poked the two front seats. "Um, guys? There's a whole bunch of creepy crawlies back there chasing us."

Zinc shrugged. "Why fret about what you can outrun?" He patted the dash. "You can outrun them, can't you, George?" he asked teasingly.

The skull on the hood guffawed. "What a preposterous question!"

George slowed just a little to give the creatures behind him false hope. He heard their squeals of triumph as they surged forward. But then he put the pedal to the metal and tore off at double speed, leaving them screaming and howling as they watched their dinner escape.

George roared, "I can't say it enough: I am entirely enraptured with this new body!!"

Ahead was the first of many hills. From the window it looked as steep as a mountain, but that was mostly a perspective illusion. Once they were on it, it wasn't much worse than a normal highway bump. Toby didn't think they'd all be that easy.

Zinc had been sporadically poking his head out the window for a while. At first Toby thought he was just acting like a nonev dog, enjoying the wind on his fur, but Zinc was looking for something. A sudden burst of enthusiasm signaled he'd found it. "Right on time! Bats ahoy! I knew they'd spot us eventually!" He leaned across the center to smooch Junella's cheek. "You were right."

"About what?"

"You drive, me gun." With that, he vaulted out the side window.

Toby felt a reflexive lurch of worry, imagining his friend splattering all over the pavement. But of course Zinc was fine. In fact, the Fearsleigher now had a new roof rack specifically made to facilitate someone with hands of unusual size swinging up from his seat onto the top of the car.

Toby looked out the side window, and in the overcast sky above he could see something circling. Jagged, dark, swooping shapes. They were turning, heading towards the car. Toby heard Zinc's feet clomping around, making his way over to the big brass gun. And then...

BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTT!!!!!

Toby clamped his hands over his ears. It sounded like the devil was tapdancing!

In between bursts of the mighty gun, Toby could hear Zinc's rapturous laughter. BRRRRTT! BRRRRTT! BRRRRTT! The canine howled with joy at the sheer phallic power in his hands. Toby started seeing black bleeding shapes falling out of the sky to land in the glass below.

One of them even hit the road. It was gone in a flash, but the batcreature's wings looked more like trash bag plastic than flesh, dripping with greenish blood. Toby thought he'd seen these before in the swamp around Sander's shop. Back then they were far enough away to give no sense of scale. But the one that had just smacked into the cement had a wingspan of at least seven feet.

Junella got a faceful of pink ruffles as Piffle squeezed by into the passenger seat. "Well, Zinc's not using it right now."

The skunk snorted, not sure if the hamsterfly was gonna be a nuisance.

Piffle eyed the buttons on the steering wheel. "Mind if I give it a try? I wanna eighty-six some piggies!"

Junella arched an eyebrow. "You can be deceptively bloodthirsty sometimes."

Piffle did a tiny curtsey. "Why thank you!"

That got a legit chuckle out of the skunk. She took her hands off the wheel. "Go wild, sister."

"Hot dog!" Piffle leaned way over, nearly smothering the skunk with her ponytailed pith helmet, and fired the machine guns at the latest wave of snarling nightmares. "Sooooeeey! Here pig, pig, pig!" She giggled as the machine guns made mince meat of them.

"Enough, enough!" Junella growled, shoving the hamsterfly off her. "I don't wanna die drowning in pink sequins!"

Piffle patted her paw. "Thanks, though. You're rilly sweet!"

"Rrrrr..."

Meanwhile, Toby was looking out the back window at something he did not want to see. A tentacle had flopped up onto the road from beneath. Then another. 'Please don't let there be eight,' he whined internally. But there was.

Hauling its blubbery bulk up onto the highway was an arachnopus, and it was even uglier than Toby remembered. A wet sack of blubbery flesh covered in tarantula bristles, with eight protruding eyes. It moved faster on land than one would think, using its own gooeyness to slide along the road like an air hockey puck. And of course it was heading straight for the Fearsleigher.

For a heartbeat, Toby was 100% sure this was the same one whose web he'd fallen into back in the Blackdamp. It had followed him all this way. To finish the job. Or maybe it had just taken a liking to his flavor.

Those hairy, suckered legs scooted it along at a monstrous speed. Its eyes jiggled. Its mandibles opened and its beak snapped. It wanted fresh, tender mouse meat. It was gaining on George. It would be close enough to grab onto the back bumper in seconds.

BBBRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTT!!!

Then it exploded like a wet pinata full of cottage cheese. The gatling gun's bullets damn near inverted its center mass. Tentacles flailed in reflexive agony. Eyeballs flew in every direction. Zinc gave it another few shots to make sure it wouldn't get up again for a while. Then it was just another sack of unmoving meat on the highway.

Zinc pumped his arms in the air. "I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUN!!! I WANNA MARRY IT AND HAVE LITTLE GUN BABIES!!!"

In the front seat, Piffle sniggered. "With talk like that, a girl could get jealous."

Toby stared in awe as the smoking corpse of the octospider receded to vanishing in the rear window. A monster he'd feared so much upon his first encounter, and now he'd watched one die in seconds. Like swatting a fly.

"Toby, climb on up here! You gotta see this baby in action!!" Zinc howled.

After a show like that, the mouse was almost tempted. But his brain reminded him of how much he did not want to topple off a moving car onto a hard concrete surface.

As if reading his mind, Zinc added, "Your belt's on a winch! It'll reel you back in if you fall!"

The mouse looked outside at the pavement blurring past, imagining how it'd become a cheese grater to any bodily parts that made contact. But he was impressed that Zinc had foreseen his objection before he'd even made it. He gave Doll a squeeze. "What do you think? Should I go?"

She didn't bother with the pad and went back to her original method of communication. Toby felt 'S-U-R-E-!' spelled out on his chest.

"Allright. Thanks for the vote of confidence. But what'll you do?" As soon as the question left his lips, his brain answered it. "Would you mind being our chief supply officer?"

From beneath the burlap she gave a thumbs-up.

"Great!" Toby remembered their fight with the Hell's Bozos and how helpful she'd been there. He unbelted and stood up, folding down the backseat to reveal a treasure trove of newly-bought weaponry. "Here. I get the feeling we're gonna need this stuff." He patted Doll on the shoulder, wishing her good luck. "And don't anyone look in the backseat while she's working!" he reminded Piffle and Junella.

The skunk glanced up at the rear view mirror, seeing that Doll was uncovered again. "Eeeeguh. Don't want to."

Piffle swatted the skunk's arm. "Now don't you go back to being mean to Doll again!"

"So long as she stays back there, I won't have to. Also, Toby, if you're about to go visit Zinc, you might wanna hold off for a sec."

He was about to ask why. Then a glance out the windshield showed him.

In seconds, his ass was back in the seat and Doll was cradled protectively in his arms.

"Wheee!" shouted Piffle.

This was the first of the monster hills. That earlier bump had been nothing but a baby. George whinnied as the road shot up at a sudden forty degree angle, and the incline got worse the farther up it went. Six feet, twelve feet, twenty feet high... Toby's eyes were shut tight and his claws were digging into the upholstery. George could feel the little pinpricks but said nothing. The bulk of his concentration was on getting up over the rise and not skidding backwards.

Forty feet above where it had started, the hill tapered off. Toby dared to open his eyes.

The freeway dropped almost straight down.

Toby braced his feet against the floorboards and bit back screams as George went over. There it was, the nut-punch feeling. He remembered it from long car trips through hilly areas. He moaned in pain as gravity socked him below the belt. For a moment, everything in the car that wasn't strapped down was weightless. Time stretched agonizingly.

George had a rare moment of panic as he fought to keep his wheels in contact with the concrete. A drop this steep would have normally sent his hooved self sprawled and crashing. But friction kept his tires kissing the road. They went down like a rocket until the pavement curled up into a short dip and leveled out. "Thank goodness!" he exclaimed in relief.

After Toby was horizontal again, all he wanted was for the car to just pull over and stop. But they'd be gobbled in seconds if they did that. And he'd already told Zinc he'd be joining him on the roof.

With a queasy heart, he resigned himself to his choice. He set Doll on the seat and rolled his window down. Wind slapped him across the cheeks like it was challenging him to a duel. He looked down to see white lines zipping blurrily beneath him. He had to be insane to even consider this!

'Y-O-U-C-A-N-D-O-I-T' was spelled out on his thigh.

Toby turned and Doll froze again. He took a deep breath. "Thank you," he told her.

He checked that his belt was securely anchored. When he stood up, a sturdy cable extended from the seat. 'I'll be okay. I jumped off Bigwheel 48, didn't I? And again into the garbage. A fall won't kill me. Or rather... Ach. Never mind.' Toby got a firm grip on the window's edge and carefully eased a foot out.

BBBRRRRRRRTTT!!!

Another perforated trash-bat fell out of the sky and went 'THUNK' against the skate blade. It missed Toby by mere feet. He clung to the car like his fingers were fused to the metal.

"Sorry!" Zinc called down. "Aiming with this thing ain't an exact science!"

Toby opened his eyes and uncurled himself from the fetal position. The wind was plowing through his fur and his ears were flapping like windsocks, but he'd done it. He was outside the car. He was standing on two of the big spikes, holding onto the window frame, and the waist belt was holding him snugly. 'I'm outside,' he told himself, his brain refusing to believe it for a few seconds.

"Howdy, neighbor!"

Toby looked up and instantly understood what those four newly-added handles on the brass gun were for.

As purchased, it wasn't really meant to be operated by someone with gigantic threaded metal hands. Zinc at first felt like it would be sacrilege to have someone take a welding torch to this masterpiece, but practicality won out in the end. He'd bought it. It was his now. He had all the right in the world to customize it. And what good was a toy you could only look at? So he'd asked Andy to add some sturdy grips towards the front, tailor-made to fit his wrench-jaws. As for the crank, another handle had been added on the opposite side. Affixed to both were pedals.

Toby couldn't believe what he was seeing. Zinc was riding the gun like a bicycle!

The canine's fur fluttered in the breeze. His tail was straight back like a rudder. It would have been impossible for him to get any happier. The gun was on a gyro mount: Zinc could point and shoot by swinging and see-sawing his body around. Constant pedaling kept the barrel spinning, and the bullets came out whenever he clamped down on his hand-holds.

"Bandit at four o' clock!" Zinc cried. He leaned his whole body to the side to aim towards another trashbat that was zooming in for a kamikaze dive. Its lamprey-like mouth was wide open, showing a snaggletoothed circle of fangs. No eyes, no nose, no ears. Nothing but a hole to shove food into.

BBRRRRRRRRRRRTTT!!!!!

Sunlight shone through the forty holes Zinc had punched through the ghastly thing. Green, toxic blood spilled in all directions as its corpse plummeted to the glass sea below.

Zinc laughed like a maniac.

Toby felt slightly ill, as if it were wrong somehow for anyone to be taking this much enjoyment out of violence.

Zinc noticed the quease. "You gonna be a wet rag, Toby? After everything we've been through?" he ribbed.

The mouse looped his arm through the roof rack to secure himself. "I wasn't gonna say anything. I'm just... not a gun guy, I suppose."

Zinc winked and stuck his tongue out. "Good. Means I don't have to offer you a turn." He scanned the skies again. It seemed like the airborne beasties were getting the message. So he swung the gun around 180 (making Toby duck) to check his six. "Now isn't that neighborly. Look whose chums dropped by!"

The squishing, sliding, lurching sounds gave Toby a clue before his head turned. Behind them he counted five more arachnopuses drawing near. And three of their cousins: equally-immense spiders with eight great snakes for legs. Scales covered each of these entirely. Their fangs dripped yellow poison. Each foot hissed and snapped with every step. Toby's brain immediately started imagining what that venom might do to him if it got into his blood. And which of those mouths might start taking bites out of him first.

But he looked up and Zinc was calm as an evening pond. The wind rustled the mutt's cheekfur and flapped his jacket, but the sight of an approaching horde didn't dim his grin a bit.

"There's so many of them! How can you be so relaxed about this!?" Toby yelled.

"Would it help me any if I wasn't?" he lobbed back.

"That's not quite..." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the eight-legged horrors gaining. Like birds in a swarm, they managed to move en masse without tripping one another up. Their speed was double that of the hogs or rats. "I meant, are you really not afraid of them?"

A tiny shrug. "If I didn't have this, I might be." His tail caressed the gun like a hand on a señorita's hip. "But I do. So I'm not."

"It's that simple?"

"Sure," he replied, with an unsaid, 'Why not?'

Uncountable alien eyes were fixed on them. Tentacles and reptiles reached out for them. Inches away from the back platform now. Each nightmare was vying to be the first to climb aboard and cram one of the meat-beings into its craw.

"Zinc! Aren't you going to do something about them!?"

"No need to rush," he replied coolly.

In reality, he only appeared unconcerned. His eyes said boredom, but his body was keenly alert. The tendons in his legs were tight as steel cables. Waiting patiently. Purely for the sake of showing off, but what harm was there in that?

The spiderbeasts were within seconds of overtaking them. A single sucker from a single tentacle touched the car.

BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!!!!!

They'd never had a chance.

It was over in seconds. Eyes blazing with bloodlust, Zinc swept the gun back and forth over the slimy squad and tore them to ribbons like ripping open birthday presents. Spider gore showered the harpoon turret, back window, and Toby's feet. Zinc's laughter was bestial. Rapid flashes from the six gun muzzles shone in his eyes. He bared his gleaming teeth, hoping that in their last few instants of vision before the bullets carved them up, the nightmares would see and recognize: there was only one predator here. They were never anything but prey.

Toby was out of breath just from watching it. Also completely deafened, hearing nothing but the piercing high-pitched tone that accompanies a sound too loud to handle. And his nose hurt from the stink of gunpowder. A gagging chemical aroma. The closest he could compare it to was tossing an armful of pencils in a furnace.

He looked up and saw Zinc's smile of perfect satisfaction.

Some part of Toby envied it.

That smile didn't even budge when dozens more tentacles appeared from the edges of the road, and dozens more octospiders and snakespiders came crawling into view.

Zinc knew it'd take the creeps a while to catch up, so he turned his back on them, looking skywards again. The bats' circular flight patterns were starting to break up. Their tiny minds were already forgetting what had happened to their comrades.

Toby's attention was still fixed on the bulbous uglies behind them. Could he count on Zinc being so quick on the draw twice? "They just keep coming!" he wailed.

One nice thing about a land where all physics is illusory: it's easy to will your ears to stop ringing. "Yeah. And?" Zinc called back.

The mouse couldn't take his eyes off the nightmares, or the streaks of offal their dead kin had left behind on the highway. He stuttered, trying to find words that didn't make him sound like a complete wuss. "How do you deal with it!? How are you not as scared as I am? I understand you're more used to it, but I think I'd crack up if I had to put up with life throwing monsters at me for the rest of eternity!"

Zinc could understand Toby feeling like that. As he thought about what to reply, he swung the gun around to decimate the latest wave of crawling nightmares. Both for his mouse pal's peace of mind, and to demonstrate that his aim was good at a distance as well as point blank.

When their ears had stopped ringing, Zinc said, "That's what life is, Toby."

"Endless giant spiders?" he snarked.

Zinc chuckled. "Nah! I mean the part you said about how it just keeps coming. I'm not one of these piss-pants pessimists who think life is all suffering and misery and then you punch your ticket to the grave. But it ain't easy either. Shit keeps rolling downhill at you. You're right, it never stops. Though once you accept that, you can roll too. Stay in one place? Of course it's gonna pile up. The only place you should ever sit down is the driver's seat."

It was not what Toby wanted to hear, but it was hard to argue with. And strangely hopeful.

Zinc smirked at how seriously the mouse was contemplating those words. He glanced up and noticed that one of the bats had caught stupidity. It had just begun to dive towards them. "Hey, Toby, heads up."

The mouse noticed it right away. Wings folded back and mouth gaping. "Great. More of 'em." He noticed Zinc had taken his wrenches off the gun grips and folded them across the barrel. "Um, are you gonna drive me crazy and wait till the last second again to do something about it?"

"Nope," he said, laying down and closing his eyes. "You are."

"WHAT!?"

Zinc faked a yawn. "I repeat: you are. That is, unless you feel like letting that thing chew your whiskers off."

Toby started hyperventilating. "Zinc, that's not funny!!"

"Not joking."

Trashbats hunt silently. There was no screech as it drew closer, just the wind and the rumble of George's tires on the highway. The bat's teeth curved inward like the mouth of a leech. Green drool slithered from its wide-open, hungry hole.

"I'm the client!" Toby said desperately. "You're supposed to do what I tell you! Didn't you say something about how it was unprofessional to let me die!?"

Zinc's tin eyelids were still shut. "You gonna yap like a poodle or do somethin' about that bat?" he drawled.

Toby started climbing the car, reaching up with both hands to yank on the canine's jacket. "ZINC, DAMMIT!!!"

The canine yawned again.

Toby looked up and the bat was mere feet away.

Something in his mind switched gears. He realized that Zinc was not just teasing him. This was no joke. Zinc would not spring to action at the last second and save them. Toby could either keep trying to make Zinc do something, or he could do it himself.

He barely got his hammer in hand in time. The bat shot towards him like a bullet and Toby swung on pure instinct. A glancing blow. He felt the hammer hit flesh, but barely. The bat fell against the roof in a hissing tangle of wings and squirmed to right itself. Toby felt panic rising in his heart, trying to freeze his muscles, and realized he simply did not have time for that bullshit. He willed himself to move. Keeping one foot latched under the roof rack, he darted in as close as he dared and kicked. The trashbat's greasy plastic flesh brushed his ankle as it shuddered back, sending nausea through Toby's nerves. The bat got itself back on its scrawny legs and emitted a high-pitched squealing gasp that sounded extremely offended. Toby screamed right back and swung several times in its general direction. The bat made a lunge and caught a steel punch right in its ear. Gut-wrenching shrieks of pain came out of the thing as it fell sideways off the roof, where it suffered immediate death by road rash.

Toby's eyes bulged as he stared at the smear of green and black on the pavement. He was gripping the hammer hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

Zinc lazily opened one eye. "What happened? I wasn't paying attention."

Red-hot steam nearly poured out of the mouse's ears as he swiveled around and brandished his hammer right at Zinc's face.

Zinc raised an eyebrow. "Damn, champ. I did rattle your cage, didn't I?"

Toby looked up at the raised weapon. He vanished it immediately. "Oh god, I'm so sorry!!"

The canine let out a cackle. "What for!? I did a rotten thing to you and you have every right to smash my bastard head in for it!"

Toby deflated. What could he possibly respond to that with? He glanced down and realized how incredibly precarious his position was. Standing on the roof of a speeding vehicle, holding onto nothing, held in place by only one foot. He yelped and clutched Zinc's leather again.

More chuckling. Zinc put a congratulatory arm around the mouse. "You were keeping your balance just fine when you didn't realize it."

Toby opened his mouth, then fumed for a second, then huffed in defeat. "Stop being right so I can argue with you properly."

That shit-eating grin never quit. "Sorry to toss your ass in the deep end, my friend, but the point was illustrated, was it not? I forced you into a corner where you either had to fight or flight. You chose well. You impress me."

Toby wasn't sure if that was sarcasm. "For real?"

"Absolutely." The reply was without hesitation. He patted the mouse's shoulder. "I tell you this as a pal, Toby. You bitch and moan a hell of a lot-"

"Gee, thanks."

"Ah. But that's just talk. I've seen you whine and whine and whine, but then you do the right thing when it's time to. You did a sweet job helping us smash the Cold Coven after Fugax. You even held your own against a pack of mall cops. When you're on the spot, you pull through."

Toby blushed.

Zinc's expression softened into a genuine smile. "Like I said, life never stops throwin' stuff at you. But there's a certain degree of pleasure to be found in whacking it back. Y'follow me?"

"I suppose, for some people," Toby mumbled. "I wasn't exactly ecstatic about what I did to that bat."

Zinc shrugged. "Understandable. But if you got some practice in, and built up your confidence to the point where you could, f'rinstance, look at a dozen charging spiders and not break a sweat because you know you can wipe ass with 'em easily..."

Toby's mind flashed back to Trapforest Path. To how much his mood had improved when he'd made the choice to pick up his hammer. "It's about being in control, isn't it?"

He shook his head. "Nah. That's Juney's style. And lookit how stressed she is all the time! For me it's more like..." He thought a moment, then happened to notice another bat diving down. In a single motion, he swung the gun up, clenched onto Toby's vest to keep him from falling, and squeezed the left trigger. The bat was obliterated in an instant. It hadn't even gotten close. It hit the freeway and George's wheels turned it to road paint.

Zinc looked from where it had splatted, to his wrench-hand clutching Toby's vest. "Like that, actually! I keep relaxed until I ain't." He narrowed his eyes, trying to put into words something that was so much a part of him he never really thought about it. "I guess... I guess I don't care about being in control, because whatever's gonna happen is whatever's gonna happen. And I know I can deal with it. So... ehh." He shrugged again.

Toby admired Zinc's attitude. "I think I'd have to deal with a lot more bats before I could be like you."

Zinc clapped him on the back. "Hey, if we manage to get you home, you won't need to be."

Toby nodded.

Zinc's smile lit up crazily again. "Until then, d'you wanna switch places and take a ride on this bitchin' bangcycle?"

"Hell no!" Toby said immediately. "It looks really cool, yeah, but I haven't ridden a bike since I was six! And especially not one with no seat that spits bullets!"

Zinc threw back his head in a laugh.

WHAMMM

The gun threw Zinc off the roof.

Toby's scream didn't even make it out of his throat as time stopped and Zinc went airborne. Something had smashed into the Fearsleigher hard enough to tip it forty-five degrees. Toby felt Zinc's jacket slip out of his grip. He reached out and felt his fingers clutch nothing but wind.

The look in Zinc's eyes was one of, 'Didn't expect THAT to happen!'

Just when Toby was sure he'd have to call out a stop so they could retrieve Zinc's body before the spiders ate it, a steel wrench clamped down hard on the car's left-side skate blade.

Zinc's instincts had saved his pelt again. He dangled behind the car like a sports pennant. "Whew! Cuttin' it close there!"

Toby gasped out a relieved laugh.

Zinc reached out his other wrench. "Mind giving me a hand up?"

Toby looked at the wrench jaws, then his delicate little furless paw. "Try not to amputate."

The canine snickered and tried his best not to as he hauled himself to safety.

Meanwhile, as soon as she'd felt something slam into the car, Junella's eyes had darted to the rear view mirror.

She didn't even waste time cursing. Her right arm shot out past Piffle, banging on the ceiling for Zinc's custom shotgun to fall out. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to fire, but it was the closest weapon in range. Every second counted. Junella swung the gun over the dash and out the window, aiming with the mirror.

The nightmare was big, boxy and white. It didn't give a single damn about the skate blades, and had kamikaze'd itself right onto them. From where the metal had sheared through its side, its white paint began to dribble down like sentient slime. It was starting to merge with the car.

Junella emptied both barrels. BLAM! BLAM!

The nightmare broke off, shards of its flesh flying in all directions. Some of the paint was still boiling and bubbling its way into the skate, trying to take over. Junella hadn't completely stopped its attempt at infection, but she was sure George's presence could drive it out.

She tossed the shotgun into Piffle's lap and yelled out the window, "ZINC! WE GOT AMBULANCES!"

"Gee, Juney, I couldn't tell!" he hollered back.

Piffle looked at the side mirror and her jaw dropped. It was like something straight out of a cartoon.

From seemingly out of nowhere, a pack of ambulances had appeared behind them. Their proportions were completely ridiculous. Tiny, beady wheels. Spinning dome lights. Bulbous windshields. Trapezoidal sides with big red crosses on them. And with every bump on the road, they squashed and stretched like animation. That was surreal enough already, but then there were the grilles. The ambulance's bumpers were beestung silver lips, pulled back to reveal humongous chrome chompers. Motor oil drool splashed from those mouths and was licked away by obscene silver tongues.

"Those are some mean lookin' meat wagons!" said Piffle.

The skunk nodded. "They're far off their usual turf. They come from this hospital in Teratoma. Seek out healthy people and drag 'em back. You get taken to surgery and, if all you lose is your limbs, count yourself lucky. You might end up stitched to whoever you came in with. Then nightmare nurses stick you in a bed and 'take care of you' forever."

Piffle opened her mouth...

Junella put her hand over it. "I can already hear what you're thinking, you masochist! And the answer is, Some Other Time!!"

The hamsterfly blushed a bit. "Golly, we must really be becoming good friends if you can read me that easy."

The skunk's scowl could've soured milk. "You wanna maybe make yourself useful instead of widening my ulcers?"

Piffle perked up. "Oh, sure! Just tell me what to do!"

Junella could not believe she was about to say this, but, "Can I trust you with explosives?"

Not a speck of fear or hesitance. Piffle simply asked, "What kind?"

Junella jerked her head towards the back. "Hey! Creepy plastic doll! Where are you?"

Two fist-thumps on the back of her seat.

She kept her gaze on the side mirror. "I heard Toby deputize you, so see if you can find me a box of eight or nine round, striped things. They look like bumblebees. Should be a detonator in with 'em." The grinning ambulances were revving up to ram them again. She listened to hear sounds of little plastic hands searching around in the backseat, then went deaf for a second as Zinc filled the closest ambulance full of lead.

BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTT!!!!!

"Suck my undies, fuckface!!" the canine shouted. His last blast from the gatling gun had nearly pummeled the wheeled nightmare off the road. It had flipped and landed sideways with a shower of sparks, but he knew these damn things were tough. It'd be up and after them again soon enough.

A box full of round, striped things was pushed between the front seats. Doll looked up at Junella with her head tilted, as if to say, 'Did I get the right ones?'

Junella grunted and grabbed the box.

Piffle put her hands on her hips. "Say 'thank you'!" she scolded.

"I am not gonna...!" Junella started to protest, but figured it was a losing battle. Her needles carved out curls of vinyl as she snarled, "Thank you, Doll."

"There, see? Was that so hard? Isn't it nicer when we're all nice to each other?" Piffle beamed, batting her eyelashes.

Junella grit her teeth. "Do you have an 'off' switch!?"

Piffle tittered. "Now you oughtta've figgered out by now that I'm just teasing you 'cuz you make it so easy."

Junella banged her head on the steering wheel a few times. Then she sighed. The munchkin princess was right. She'd been letting herself get far too irritated by the cutesy-wootsey schtick. This time she spoke to the hamsterfly as a fellow furson. "These are sound-activated grenades. I call 'em percussives. If you can keep up with the car, it would be a big help if you could fly out and slap one on each ambulance. Peel off the yellow strip and it's sticky. Just don't, for God's sake, get your hand stuck to one."

Piffle saluted. "I'll do my best!" She took the box onto her lap and started filling her many pockets. "I assume you wanna keep this?" she asked as she handed Junella the detonator. It looked like a walkie-talkie.

"Exactly. Just holler when you're done and we'll blow 'em sky high. And be quick! They'll try to smash into us again so they can merge with the car and turn it into one of them."

George overheard. "Is that what it was doing!? I felt the most hideous itch on my left side where it impacted. I can assure you both, I will not allow myself to be osmosed! I shall take evasive maneuvers!"

"Good! The less we make contact the better." Junella reached out the window and thumped the roof. "And Zinc, hold off on that gun! Piffle's 'bout to prove she's more than just a big pink zit ridin' my ass."

The hamsterfly 'hmmph'ed at that.

Junella stuck her black vinyl tongue out at her. "I can tease you too. Get out there."

"Oh all right, you big bullyskunk!" she said as she popped the passenger door and readied her wings. Though she was smiling as she said it, and noticed Junella had been too.

Toby jolted back as a fur tornado shot out of the car past him.

Piffle let herself fall horizontally, just far enough to be clear of the car so she could unfold her wings to full span. They caught her like a parachute. Then she flapped hard and felt the weight of the air support her. The rumble of the road filled her ears. She pirouetted to survey the battlefield.

There were five ambulances in total, all bouncing along and jockeying for position to nip at the Fearsleigher's heels. The disturbingly-organic details of their construction, and the impossible way they moved, created a wave of surreality. Their wheels seemed to have hair. Their red crosses seemed to be scabs. And of course, there was no one driving them. The wheeled monstrosities all noticed Piffle at once. Five windshields turned towards her like clear, shiny eyes. Five wet tongues licked metal lips.

Piffle gulped, but reminded herself that she was dressed for bait after all. 'And I can lick these overgrown tin toys!' she reminded herself. She dug the first bomb out of her jacket pocket and peeled it mid-dive.

George was glad that Madam McPerricone had diverted the ambulances' attention from himself. (He shuddered at the idea of being absorbed by one of them. 'What might I then be forced to do to my passengers!?') But still, he was worried the horrid vehicles might gang up and overpower her. That's when he noticed a little curly-haired plastic head pop out a side window. He quickly looked away, wondering what Doll had planned, and smiled when he heard the tinkling chime of caltrops hitting concrete. "Good thinking, Madam Doll!"

Doll couldn't take credit for the idea though. A moment ago a green light had told Zinc the hopper was full. He'd kicked a lever on the roof to drop down a basketful of freshly-baked foot-piercers. Doll jumped to action, whipped off her burlap dress to gain greater mobility, and heaved the bulky basket onto the seat. She waited for just the right moment, then dumped it in the path of three of the ambulances.

The resulting pileup was spectacular. The one in front blew its tires with a splash of construct blood. No sound came from its mouth, but the silver lips stretched back in a yodel of pain. It reared up on its hind wheels, then kept on somersaulting upside down when the one in back rear-ended it. They ended up locked together, hood-to-hood. The second ambulance's windshield was smashed to shards. It swerved blindly and clipped a third. Ambulance number three skidded hard to the left, but its proportions were too top-heavy and it crashed on its side, sliding out of control. It tried in vain to chomp the edge of the road and stop its fall, but it only got a mouthful of rebar and plummeted out of sight. Then came the crash of metal on glass.

One down, four to go.

"Three cheers for Doll!" Piffle cheered. She deviated from her mission just long enough to fly to the car and give her friend a quick hug. Then it was back to business.

With the upside-down ambulance wedged on top of the blinded one, both were ripe targets. Piffle found the bombs as easy to peel as tangerines. She dropped three of them on the struggling one's undercarriage just to be sure. For the other vehicle, she got a great shot and rolled a bomb right through its broken windshield. "Bullseye!"

Zinc was enjoying the show and Toby was enjoying a breather. The mouse didn't understand much about construct behavior, but he got a sense that there was a hierarchy among them. These ambulances were rough customers. Any time another nightmare got near, they bulldozed it right out of the way. It wasn't even malice. More like the ambulances didn't even register their presence. Toby had noticed that the arachnopuses and snakespiders seemed almost cooperative, and the pigs and rats didn't get in each other's way either. Maybe different 'breeds' had trouble sensing each other?

'Or maybe the highway itself is controlling them!' he thought. 'Like smaller minds orbiting a larger one.' He wasn't sure why the ambulances seemed immune, but if he'd correctly overheard that they were from a different region, that might fill in the missing piece.

With Piffle's bombs planted on the two wounded specimens, that left another duo to chase down. She'd hoped to sneak up on them from behind, but they were already focusing on her and turning to attack. One surged forward and she had to do a barrel roll to keep her feet out of its chomping jaws. "Bad puppy!" she admonished. At least it had volunteered for the next target. She got two more percussives ready and swooped low over the ambulance's roof. Both bombs plopped into place right behind its spinning dome light. It gnashed its teeth and jumped straight up. Piffle had to brace herself on its roof to leap away. Just from that brief contact, she could feel its venomous paint starting to eat her paws. She winced and tried to flick the awful stuff away.

"My friends, you might want to hold on to something!" George suddenly called out.

Toby looked ahead and the question 'why' was answered before he could ask it. The freeway was about to curve sideways in an insanely tight hairpin turn. He threw his arms around Zinc and squeezed.

He looked amused. "If you wanted a dance partner you coulda asked first."

George did not have extensive experience with tires, but he'd mastered flying easily enough and still had his uncanny spacial awareness. His piercing eyes took in the curve ahead and calculated just how much to slow his speed to make it through.

To his intense embarrassment, he was wrong.

For a moment, everyone's heart skipped a beat as George's tires screeched, skidded, and the Fearsleigher tipped. Its right skate blade hit the pavement and showered sparks. George fought for friction but couldn't overcome momentum. Their arc would take them over the edge and into the glass. "Ten thousand hells!!" he swore.

Time slowed for all of them. Junella realized she was stuck behind the wheel, completely powerless. Toby's brain told him his only hope was to jump, but his muscles were frozen. Thoughts of failure and overwhelming shame filled George's mind.

Something pink shot past like a bullet. Piffle swung herself around in a hard arc. Just before the car would have toppled off the road, she elbowed the car back on track with every ounce of her considerable willpower.

Her push was just enough. The skate blade skimmed open air and gravel skittered over the edge, but the Fearsleigher stayed on solid ground. It was close though. The rims of George's tires had traced the road's edge.

Junella stared out the window in astonishment. She couldn't say a word. Her hands had a death grip on the steering wheel.

Piffle gave her a triumphant smile, a salute, and zipped out of sight.

Both Zinc and Toby were hooting and hollering for her. Piffle allowed a moment of internal rejoicing at having saved the day, but remembered there was still one ambulance left to play tag with.

It had not forgotten them. Being much more used to wheels than George, it took the hairpin easily and leapt towards the Fearsleigher's back platform. Its metal teeth clacked together, missing, but not by much. Piffle strafed past and Toby shouted encouragement to her.

The ambulance ignored the pink insect. It understood now that there were several meat-things inside the strange vehicle. Even a nightmare's mind can understand that 'several' is better than 'one'. So while saliva splashed as it made many attempts to chew the Fearsleigher, it never felt the bombs Piffle skillfully placed on both its back doors.

Like a fighter jet with bows and antennae, Piffle zoomed away from the last ambulance. Her compound eyes were perfect for keeping tabs on all her targets simultaneously,  so she knew right away when the remaining three had gotten back on their wheels. They were driving in formation, catching up, and would be within gnashing range soon. Piffle buzzed close to the car, just outside Junella's window. "All devices planted, Sergeant J.!"

Junella was so startled her head bumped the ceiling. "Don't sneak up on me like that! And if you got all four percussives in place, then getcher booty back inside!"

Piffle sheepishly nibbled her index finger. "Ummm, four?"

A growl. "Did you miss one?"

"No, the opposite actually! I wanted to do a really good job, so I tried to use at least two for each."

Junella's eyes got very wide. Her hand hovered over her grooves, ready to go off on a volcanic tirade. But those big, innocent ruby eyes made her hold back. 'Que sera sera,' she decided. "Fine, but you'd really better get inside, because the freeway is NOT gonna like this."

"I did an oopsie, didn't I?"

Junella simply nodded.

Piffle figured that one way she could make up for it would be passing the news on to the boys. She flew up beside them. "Junella says we better take our seats. I think I used about triple the amount of bombs I shoulda."

Zinc's eyes got as big as Junella's had.

Anything bad enough to make Zinc look worried was not something Toby was gonna stand around asking questions about. He held the rack to steady himself as he stepped down from the roof. However, his foot slipped and the wind nearly knocked him sideways. The waistbelt reacted to the sudden slack exactly as it was designed to and yanked him through the window. He ended up curled in a dizzy ball on the seat, wincing in pain and wondering how he'd managed to whack all of his knees and elbows simultaneously. 'Still in one piece though!' he consoled himself.

Piffle reached out to help Zinc down from the gatling gun, and he was puzzled for a second by something about the gesture. It took him a moment to realize that her other arm was hanging limp as a sock.

She noticed his concern. "Oh, this? I, um, I think I broke my shoulder when I pushed the car."

Now that he was looking closely, he could tell she'd flat-out pulverized it. "Geez-o-petes, kitten! Don't it hurt?"

"Not yet," she said, looking on the bright side. "But it'll probably sting like a doozy once the shock wears off!"

She had guts. He admired that. "Hey, I can't let a swell chicky like you suffer. Why wait to heal? Want me to kill it all better?"

"Oh, sure! Thanks for offering!" Piffle bowed her head to him.

"Won't take a sec." Zinc took aim at the top of her skull and swung his right wrench around to bash it inside out.

A moment later she popped back to normal. "Gee, thanks! Didn't hurt a bit! Although, my goodness the stars are out early today!"

He chuckled and scooped her up in his wrenches, then deftly hopped down to land on a skate blade. He popped the door and Toby had just gotten situated enough to help Piffle in to sit beside him. She was still a bit dizzy from the bludgeoning, but her shoulder felt right as rain.

"You were incredible out there!" Toby complimented.

"Aw, it was easy. I just hope I didn't mess up too bad with the bombs."

Zinc vaulted towards the passenger side and plopped into his seat. "All systems go for kaboom-time, Juney?"

"Hell no! Not until we've got as much distance between us and them as possible." The skunk checked the backseat just to make sure everyone was accounted for, then returned her attention to the road. She soothingly patted the dashboard. "Don't beat yourself up over your little slip back there, George. You're new to driving. Mistakes happen. How 'bout you relax and let me take control?"

"Yes, I would much prefer that. And you have my thanks for trying to help console me." Without knowing exactly how, he relaxed his mind's hold on his body and allowed the steering wheel to guide him. Junella flexed her fingers and tested George's responsiveness. For him the sensation was curious indeed, yet felt somehow 'right'. It was like puppet strings running through his body to Madam Brox's hands.

Junella purred. She liked the feeling of handling so much horsepower. She kept her eyes focused ahead. More curves and hills were coming up. The freeway was normally smooth and straight until something bothered it. They were giving it an itch now, and it was responding. 'It's about to respond a hell of a lot more,' she thought.

When Junella pumped the gas pedal, George let out a small shriek. It felt exactly like being goosed!

The ambulances were in hot pursuit, red lights circling. No sirens, just the wet, gnashing sounds of their metal mouths. If any of them had felt the bombs stuck to their aluminum skin, they might have tried to assimilate them before it was too late. But road debris stuck to them all the time. And the scent of flesh was diverting their attention. They could not wait to chew the strange vehicle into bits and slurp down the wriggling treats inside. Keep them safe in their metal bellies. Transport them home to the hospital so they could be cured of all their ills, permanently.

Toby squeezed Doll as the road threw a quarter mile of speedbumps at them. Everything in the car was jiggled higgledy-piggledy. Toby and Piffle dodged their feet away from two stray caltrops, and her ponytail ended up whapping him in the nose, making him sneeze. Junella's hands were busy on the wheel and she couldn't shout a warning when the detonator fell out of her lap. Thankfully, Zinc was quick and caught it on its second bounce. "H-how 'b-b-bout I ho-o-old ont-t-to this-s-s?" he said.

George rather liked the speedbumps. They vibrated his chassis in an amusing fashion.

Junella's hands were rocksteady on the wheel. The bumps ended just as another hill began, but she was ready for it. She'd guided the late Killcanoe down this road before. Twice, even. She knew speed was less important than control. Especially when they'd come to the loops.

Toby peeked out the side window. "Ambulances approaching!"

Junella goosed George again to gain speed on the downhill descent. She wanted to tell Toby she was waiting for a smooth patch to put more distance between them and the nightmares, but her hands were busy at ten and two.

Toby had all four limbs braced against the seat. Doll was immobile at the moment, but had managed to clutch his vest tight. Piffle was turned around in her seat, watching the ambulances through the back window. "We're outrunning them!" she was happy to report.

Junella checked her mirrors. There was half a dozen car lengths between them and the nightmares, but she wanted more. She mentally kicked herself for not telling Piffle exactly how powerful each one of those sticky bombs was. Just one could easily turn an ambulance into a charred, smoking wreck. If Piffle had used the whole box, there was no telling how big the explosion would be.

Up ahead in an S curve, an arachnopus was waiting for them. It scuttled out into the middle of the lane and raised its hairy tentacles threateningly.

"I believe I can take care of this slimy troublemaker," George said confidently.

Junella tapped the wheel: 'Go for it.'

George remembered a little trick from his days tormenting the innocent. Sometimes he'd snort flame from his nostrils up onto his face, turning his skull into a fireball. Now he did the same trick, but with the nailplow. It was a glorious sight. Fire gushed from his inner furnace and coated the spiked wedge like a deadly carpet.

Arachnopuses are relatively intelligent by construct standards. This one wasn't. As the Fearsleigher bore down upon it, it reared up on its tentacles and bared its beak as if to swallow them up.

When the flaming nailplow hit, the octospider burst like a water balloon. Chunks of charred calamari pelted the car and the road. Junella turned on the windshield wipers.

George belted out a basso laugh. There would always be a part of him that delighted in carnage, and that was fine so long as he kept it well-fed.

The road ahead was straight and clear, at least for the next hundred feet or so. They couldn't hope for a better chance. Junella slammed the gas pedal to the floor. George whinnied in alarm and doubled his speed.

Piffle bounced on the backseat as the Ambulances were left in the dust. "Hot diggity! They look like ants now! And they're all clustered together too. Go for it, Juney!"

She swiveled around. "Hey. Only Zinc gets to call me that."

Piffle pouted. "No offense."

Junella turned to her partner. "Wanna do the honors? You remember how to work that thing, right?"

He looked positively insulted. "Like I'd forget a weapon." Then he turned to the backseat passengers. "This is your captain speaking. Please buckle all safety belts and prepare for some serious goddamn turbulence."

Toby rechecked both his waist and shoulder belts, then felt around to see if he could find any more.

"Want me to dumbfound you up a crash helmet?" Piffle asked.

He wasn't sure if she was teasing. "No. But thanks!"

Zinc was not going to miss this show, even if the shrapnel blew his face clean off. He stood up and poked his upper half through the passenger window, looking back at the snarling, salivating ambulances. They were not happy to see their prey getting away. Zinc grinned at how much worse their day was about to get.

He gripped the detonator carefully. It would not do to accidentally drop it. Raising it to his lips, he cleared his throat. The device registered the sound, but was waiting for the magic words.

"Now, please."

He could swear he saw their metal mouths start to scream just as the blast ripped them apart.

The light was like the birth of a second sun. The explosion was a sphere of fire a hundred feet across. The boom blotted out every other sound for miles around. And the shockwave was a juggernaut.

Toby's teeth rattled as a giant invisible hand punched the car from behind. The heat was like the world's largest oven flinging open its door. The shockwave shoved the Fearsleigher up off its back wheels entirely. The sides of the skate blades caught the hot air and for a brief, incredible moment, the car was windsurfing.

Everyone inside was screaming. Obviously.

Not only had the ambulances not survived, they were damn near disintegrated. The largest chunk of one flew straight up in the air and didn't come back down for forty seconds.

The freeway roared in pain as a massive chunk of itself ceased to exist. The explosion performed a complete amputation, blasting away concrete, liquefying the underlying flesh, and bending the rebar inside like pipe cleaners. Blood cascaded from the open wounds. Concrete slabs cracked and slid off into the glass sea like falling dominoes. The road's legs started buckling.

Toby thought nothing could have felt worse than that explosion. He was wrong. The sensation of the car tilting diagonally backwards was worse.

The freeway was rapidly collapsing. Any remaining creatures opted to leap off the edges into the glass below, rather than ending up trapped beneath the wounded concrete beast's falling body. A haunting moan came from within the freeway as it felt its exoskeleton crumbling and its raw tissues exposed to air and flame.

Junella's hands were too tight on the wheel to say a word, but she put her faith in George and eased off the gas. Speed would make them lose control. What was important right now was precision. She tried to keep her heart from beating right out of her chest as she watched the road ahead rise up and start to curl. Cracks streaked like lightning through the concrete. The freeway was gearing up for one unholy hell of a tantrum.

From the backseat, Piffle could be heard saying over and over, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..."

The heat had melted the fur right off Zinc's head and turned his metal dome into a tangled, bloody mess. But it still couldn't stop his grin. "Hot damn, that looked cool!"

Not taking her eyes off the road, Junella reached out a hand to yank her partner inside, then filled her palm with pistol and blew away the remaining half of his fool head.

Once he was reconstituted, he shook his new noggin to make sure everything was in order. "Thanks again, partner."

She jabbed a finger towards the headlight control, then pointed out the window.

"Yeah, yeah. Blood tentacles, I'm on it."

If the freeway couldn't buck them off, it'd strangle them to death. While behind them mammoth chunks of concrete snapped and folded as they smashed to the glass sea below, up ahead, boiling crimson oil came bubbling up from cracks in the monster's grey skin. Tendrils of ichor began to rise like hellish saplings.

The only good thing about this was that the freeway was too big to be fast. The travelers would have precious seconds before each tentacle grew to full height, and it was Zinc's job to prevent that. He flicked on the high beams and five hundred degrees of heat surged out. Any tentacle it touched was burnt blacker than an over-grilled hotdog.

From all around them came that terrifying bass moan again, like an orchestra of cellos playing underwater. The freeway was in excruciating pain. Every tentacle they destroyed felt like ripping out its nerve endings.

The road ahead suddenly folded up at a nearly ninety-degree angle. Junella kept her head cool and knew exactly when to pour on the power. They shot up the incline like a rocket and were momentarily airborne. The car tilted towards the pavement as it fell. 'Sorry about your tires, George!' Junella thought.

The stallion winced, braced himself, and cursed fire when he hit. His wheels felt like they'd shattered. "May we not do that again!?" he whined.

"Gonna be the first of many 'til we're off this road," she replied.

George flexed his axles and kept going. If there was nothing to be done about it, then he would do his best to remain stoic.

Junella let everything else go. Her mind was a rat's nest of shrieking fear at seeing the coiling twists of the road ahead, but worry never helped anyone become a better driver. She did her best to blank herself. She kept her eyes peeled. She thought of a powerful song. If George could merge with the Fearsleigher, then she could too. She tried to feel the steering wheel as part of herself. The seats were her own flesh. His wheels were hers.

Cement chunks rained down from the freeway's supports as it writhed back and forth, trying in vain to flick away its tormentors. It stretched and heaved, throwing dips and hills and 90 degree turns at them. It cracked its own concrete in its haste to throw more tentacles at them. The wheels of the Fearsleigher felt like claws sinking into its skin.

Junella had no sympathy. If they were causing it pain, tough titty. This was the only path to get where they were going, so the road was shit out of luck if it didn't like that. She kept her heart a block of ice. She took her time with each turn. Her instincts screamed to rush, but she didn't listen. Smooth. That was the key. Keep all four wheels on the road and they'd make it to the end.

Zinc left the headlights on and hopped out to get back on the roof. It was not an easy journey. The car bobbed and tilted like a ship in a storm. If the roof rack hadn't been bolted in place as securely as it was, he never would have made it. But finally, his wrenches clamped down on the gun grips, his feet slid onto the pedals, and he felt the gun humming to life as he kicked off and started the barrel turning. He looked ahead to the red fingers of roadblood poking up through the freeway cracks, squirming like worms and seeking blindly to curl around living things and crush them flat. "Ah, ah, ah! Papa spank."

BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTT!!!!

The sky rained blood as hundreds of bullets scorched through the air and pierced the road's pseudopods. The stumps flailed wildly and melted back into red inanimate sludge. Zinc felt the gun rumble beneath him like a well-tuned Harley. That was exactly what it felt like. Riding a motorcycle on top of a tank. Could anything top that?

Toby was pretty much paralyzed. He knew he was 100% at the mercy of Junella's driving skills and Zinc's aim. Whether or not he'd end up squished into spam by one of those tentacles, or sent hurtling down to the sea of shards, was completely out of his control. All he could do was hold Doll tight and wait it out. He did everything he could think of to take his mind away. He tried to remember his room, to envision his bookshelf and count the titles.

Piffle leaned forward as far as her seatbelt allowed. "Junella? Is there anything at all I can do to help?"

The skunk spared only half a second to look up in the rear view mirror and give her a dragon's glare that said, 'SIT DOWN AND KEEP QUIET.'

"Loud and clear!" she said, shaken by the fury in those orange eyes.

Junella was quite pleased to see that the puffball could handle directions. And Toby wasn't screaming constantly. Also good. In fact, another glance at the mirror showed her the mouse had gone all glassy-eyed. Even better! A catatonic passenger is a quiet passenger.

Curve after curve. Junella was starting to really feel the Fearsleigher as her own body. She leaned side to side as she turned, pouring her will into it, not knowing if it was helping but figuring it couldn't hurt.

Zinc swept bullets back and forth like a broom of death. He swore there were fewer tentacles now, like the freeway was finally getting the message. But maybe it was just gearing up for something different.

Up ahead, he saw the first loop. He wished he'd thought to put some kind of seatbelt on the gun. "Ah shit. Hindsight's 20/20."

Black sweat dripped down Junella's forehead, but her face stayed calm. The loops had terrified her the first time through, but she'd learned quickly that they were easy enough if you could keep steady and not panic. She eased off the throttle. Getting all the way up and over required a counterintuitive speed.

'Easy does it...'

The road rose above them into a curving wall. Gravel and dust skittered down from the cracking concrete. Toby felt his guts churn harder the more the road tilted. He could see out the windows, he knew what was happening, but he couldn't allow himself to accept it or he'd lose his marbles. Even as terrified as he was, he was still aware enough to realize that the last thing Junella needed was a screaming lunatic in the backseat. He forced his brain to see only bookshelves. The cover art, the thickness of the pages, the smell...

Zinc's jaw dropped. One never got used to this. Not even in a city like EC where life was always spinning. He felt gravity reverse as the Fearsleigher went up, up, up...

"It's just like flying," George marveled.

Junella felt her heart stop and her nerves freeze when they reached the apex. It was all about keeping a steady momentum to get them past the point of no return. She exhaled hard when she felt them start to head downwards again, but she couldn't relax entirely. There was nothing but friction and inertia keeping them magnetized to the road right now. Gravity could still decide to pluck them off and flatten them.

Zinc had been clutching the gun's grips so hard he was blasting bullets all over the road without realizing it. As they finally came out of the loop, the green light came on and, without thinking, he kicked the lever.

'Oh shit,' he thought, as he realized what he'd just done.

Toby and Piffle's eyes went wide as they watched the ceiling hatch come open and a basket full of caltrops start to drop down. They'd spill all over. Spiked comets. And both rodents were belted in and unable to prevent it from happening.

In an instant, Doll realized that no one was looking at her.

She tensed her stubby plastic legs and leapt. She jumped past Piffle and Toby and felt their heads start to turn towards her. Their peripheral vision began to petrify her. But she'd calculated for that. Momentum kept her rigid body sailing towards the hatch, then she bumped it closed again. Her reward for her quick-thinking heroism was to clatter undignified onto the car's floor.

But as soon as she was able, Piffle unbelted herself and scooped Doll into her arms, hugging her with all her heart. "Oh thank you, Doll! Thank you so incredibly much! You saved us!" Toby reached over to give Doll even more grateful hugs.

From the roof, Zinc called down, "Forgive me, fellas! I wasn't thinking!"

"I'm gonna use Doll like a nightstick and beat you in the head, Mr. Zinc!" Piffle fumed at him. Then she petted Doll's plastic curls. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Yes you would."

Junella took several slow, deep breaths as they came safely out of the loop. She didn't know what had almost happened in the backseat, but she knew she didn't want to know either. They were not home free yet. There were still dozens more twists ahead, plus a second loop-de-loop before the big one.

Something enormous dropped down behind them with a bone-jarring thud.

It had been perched outside the loop, gazing down like a vulture. Just waiting for tender prey to come rolling along. It hadn't managed to squash the Fearsleigher, but that was no matter. It had plenty of time to catch up and steamroll them into a delicious meat and metal sandwich.

Zinc swung his gun around and pissed his pants. They'd been down this road before, but they'd never encountered a twenty-foot-tall rolling ball of cat skulls.

The freeway shook from its weight. Hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of fleshless feline heads. Blank, empty eye sockets. Piranha-like snapping jaws. Gleaming teeth. The heads moved and turned in unison, all focused on the Fearsleigher. It looked like they were smiling.

Zinc was an icicle for a moment, a helpless little pup with his tail tucked in. Until he remembered the solid brass cylinder jutting between his legs.

BBBBBRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!

Cat heads shattered into powder as the bullets tore through. Zinc felt savage triumph for a moment, until he realized he wasn't actually accomplishing anything. The skull-ball kept on rolling. It wasn't breaking up. No matter how many heads he blasted away, more were birthed from within to take their place. "Well that just sucks!"

Piffle looked behind her at his exclamation, then shrieked.

Junella fishtailed the car for a few seconds. She gritted her teeth and tried to regain concentration for the twelve-foot dip in the road ahead.

"Whatever's behind us, I don't wanna know," Toby said absently.

"It's a humongous ball of cat heads!!" Piffle yelped.

"See, I did not need that information. At all."

Fretting that she was starting to make everything worse, Piffle looked around for something to do. She spotted the ceiling hatch. Perfect! She waited for Junella to get them out of the dip before unbelting and standing up. Bracing herself against the ceiling with one hand, she unlatched the flap and took out the basket of new caltrops. The windows were already open, so she looked, aimed, and tossed the whole thing.

Zinc could have told her. If bullets didn't faze this thing, caltrops wouldn't either. In fact, the ball didn't even shudder as it rolled over them. The skulls on the bottom were already being crushed continuously, so a few more didn't matter. The ball's method of locomotion was to regenerate more skulls as fast as the ones meeting the road shattered. The countless jabbering jaws seemed to be laughing.

Piffle was crestfallen. "Oh shoot! Oh darn! Oh pootertoots!"

Junella steered through a curve one-handed so she could yell with the other. "Sit your spangly ass down and gitcher belt on! I'm about to do something insane and I don't need you bouncin' around like a pinball back there!"

"Sorry, Junella," Piffle said.

Junella had too many things to concentrate on already. At least the freeway was no longer falling apart beneath their wheels. Zinc was doing a fine job getting rid of the occasional tentacles that still tried to lash out at them. And Toby might as well have been a statue. But the driving wasn't getting any easier and now she had a boulder fulla bones to deal with. She patted the dash. "George?"

"Yes, Madam Brox?"

"I'm gonna try to euthanize those kitties behind us. It's a real dumb idea, but trust me. Don't fight it."

"I have seen no reason so far to doubt your skill. You are doing an excellent job of driving me."

She smiled. It was nice to hear a compliment every once in a while. "Awright then. Hold on to your panties everyone!"

Junella launched the car into a hard turn and slammed down the handbrake.

It was like bald tires on an icy road. The Fearsleigher went into a pirouette spin and everyone inside was slammed sideways. Zinc's feet slipped off the gun's pedals and for a moment he was doing an involuntarily handstand. The car lost speed, top half whizzling around like a UFO, and the ball of skulls surged forward to pounce.

Exactly as planned. Because it wasn't just the car that was spinning, it was the skate blades.

Junella had turned the Fearsleigher into a makeshift chakram.

Skulls went fucking everywhere. The spinning skate blades buzzsawed through the side of the cat-ball and carved out a nice fat chunk. For a moment it looked like a huge screaming head, spitting hundreds of broken teeth from its wide open mouth.

Junella waited for just the right moment, then jerked the wheel hard, canceling the spin. Everyone's heads got knocked around, but Junella was prepared enough to goose the gas pedal and get the hell out of Dodge.

The ball had split into two hemispheres. They crashed onto the road in a tidal wave of skulls. Teeth and eye sockets littered the freeway like a carpet. Zinc could not resist adding insult to injury by blasting the pile with a few bursts from the gatling gun.

Junella looked in the rear view mirror and her smile sizzled. "YES! That oughtta buy us some time!"

Piffle clapped with joy, until she looked over and saw Toby's face. He looked like he'd turned into green cheese. "Toby! Are you okay? Are you even conscious?"

His eyes did not blink, but his lips slowly moved. "I'm overloaded. I can't take this. It's too much to deal with. I'm gonna lose my mind."

"Poor mousie!" She reached over to hug him, then had an idea. "Hey, remember what I said about your bellybutton?"

It took a while for that to penetrate. Then he remembered the trick she'd shown him in the hotel room. "That's an option?"

"Sure! I won't be offended. You can just curl up like a little pillbug and I'll keep you from rolling around too much, okay?"

The very idea that he could escape from this situation seemed too good to be true. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten the navel-gazing trick. "Allright," he told Piffle. "Wake me when it's over."

"You can count on me."

Toby's muscles felt like rotted, cracking timbers as he slowly and carefully got his seatbelt off. He opened his vest and looked down at his tummy. How had he done this before? Just fall forward and...

Back home.

The shelves he'd tried a moment ago to recreate in his imagination were suddenly standing tall in front of him. All his beloved books. The washable vinyl pages with their colorful covers. He reached out, then stopped himself.

How had he forgotten all the stains?

He looked down. The floor was littered with tissues. Wadded up and covered in his own snot and blood. He saw streaks on the walls and... the ceiling too? How in the...?

He looked all around, suddenly dizzy. Not just from the stench of his sickroom, but from how alien this place felt. It was impossible. He'd been in this memory just a day ago. Admittedly, not for long, but... He'd lived all his life in this room. How could it feel so wrong?

Toby looked around at the deflated Get Well balloons. The stuffed animals with dried bile stuck in their crevices. Sunlight struggled to make it through the room's thick curtains, oily with biological residue.

He had been avoiding turning all the way around. He did not know what he would see there. In the bed. His bed. His sickbed his

deathbed

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO," he shouted, and his voice sounded petulant and babyish. A little kid throwing a tantrum. The reek of disinfectants, medicine, and urine made his eyes sting, blurring his vision as he forced himself to turn around. No part of him wanted this, but he had to face it. He didn't even know why, but he had to.

The bed came into view. Cavernous. Sunken. An ocean of white sheets, turned yellow from years of piss and pus. An endtable filled to overflowing with emptied pill bottles, their tops encrusted with dust. Small snowdrifts of them had fallen to the floor. Somewhere lost in the center of the bed, like lying prone on quicksand, was a boy. A little mouse. Glued in place by his own secretions. His popped sores. His incontinence. He was barely visible: a skeleton with a pelt. Two long pink rodent feet jutted up like fence posts. The skin was cracked and dry, the uncut toenails long as pencils.

From within that bed, Toby heard a slow, wet sucking sound. His own breathing.

He sat straight up, suddenly back in the car. The Fearsleigher was swerving back and forth along an impossible series of rippling curves, and the sphere of skulls was back in action right behind them. The sound of a thousand biting jaws was like bacon frying through a megaphone.

But the smell was gone. And he could no longer see that sick, dying thing that had once been himself. Toby felt himself all over. No sores. His fur was soft and clean.

Of all the expressions Piffle had thought he might show upon returning, relief was not among them. "Toby!? I don't have a clue why that keeps happening! Whenever I go in my bellybutton I end up in a candy village or a nice meadow or something. Where did you go that could possibly be worse than here?"

He ran his hands through his hair. His mouth felt dry. "My past," he said simply.

Piffle scooted over to administer a first aid hug. She put Doll between them for extra comfort. "I don't know what you saw, but I'm sorry you did. If it makes you feel better, at least you missed another big rollercoaster loop. And Junella says we're almost at the offramp!"

"That's assuming I can shake these goddamn skulls!!" she yowled from the front seat.

Toby could see at a glance she was on her last nerve. Her scowl seemed to swallow her face. She was driving more erratically, showing signs of mental exhaustion. Her inner tank was nearly empty.

'How long was I in my memory?' he asked himself.

He hesitated, not wanting to make things worse. But then he said softly to her, "You can do it. You can get us out of here. You're Junella Fucking Brox, right?"

She was on a hair-trigger anyway, ready to tell him to shove his positive affirmations up his ass. But hearing him swear in that delicate little voice of his actually made her snicker. And she had to admit, the mouse had a point. She was Junella Fucking Brox. She'd been through worse than this. Just reminding herself of her true name gave her a second wind. She was not helpless. Junella Fucking Brox never was.

She needed both hands to pull them through another hairpin, but she glanced at the rear view mirror and threw Toby a 'Thank you'.

He rubbed his shoulder from where the inertia had slammed him into the armrest. "You're welcome."

Piffle gave Toby another squeeze. "Oh, and you might wanna get your belt back on."

"Why-" His question turned to a gurgle when he saw through the front window what was looming ahead.

Oh, it was simply not fair. His only two choices of where to be right now were the inner hell of his fetid bedroom, or in a car that was about to enter the biggest damn loop-de-loop his mind could comprehend.

Taller than Gyre 2. Easily. Maybe even the circumference of Coryza. The immense concrete circle stretched up into the sky so high it was impossible to see its top. Fist-sized crumbs of concrete littered down like dandruff with every shudder of the still-infuriated freeway. This was worse than Toby's worst driving nightmares. This was giving him heart palpitations just looking at it.

"Toby."

He shook his head. "What!?"

Junella had locked her right hand on the wheel so she could talk with her left. She had to make this part very, very clear. "You've been a perfect passenger back there so far, and I'm grateful, but I need you to promise me that'll continue. Because I have really got to concentrate now."

He nodded. "If I have to I'll shove myself in the storage space and just cry the whole time. But I promise, I will not freak out and be distracting."

She smiled, recognizing just how much bravery it took to think of someone else at a moment when you're pushed to your limits.

The wind whistled past. The road rumbled. George's tires thrummed. Junella looked ahead. She could just barely feel the tilt starting. She brought herself back to the times before. No matter what, the big loop was always here at the end.

With the Killcanoe, they'd been able to hop the gap. Jump from the start of the loop to its end, avoiding the middle. The Fearsleigher would not hop. And that posed a problem because they'd just barely skated through that last loop. It was going to take more than just steady speed and perfect control to get through this. The big one was so damn huge, gravity would rip them off before they got to the apex. They needed something more. But no new ideas were forthcoming. Whatever they did, their ride would have to remain smooth as silk from start to finish. If that cat-thing bumped them even once, they would fall and smash and die.

"Piffle, do you have any percussives left?"

"Well, sure! I didn't use the whole box!" She patted her pockets. "Looks like there's five here."

"Three will be plenty," Junella replied. She locked eyes with Piffle in the rear view mirror. "I know we're not always on the best terms, but right now I need to drive, so that means I need to trust you to do something very important and very precise."

Junella's solemn tone snapped Piffle to attention. She sat up straight with her hands in her lap. "I'm listening."

"You remember the harpoon turret? It's on the back of the car. I need you to fly out and get to it. If it's loaded, unload it. The last thing we need is to end up grappled to that thing. There will be regular spears with no ropes attached. Load one. Stick all three bombs to the tip. When we get to the apex, fire."

The hamsterfly's heart beat faster. That was a lot to remember. "Doesn't Zinc normally do this kind of thing?"

"Yes. But if he falls off, he can't fly back."

"That is a good point," she had to admit.

Toby reached out to take her paw in his. "You can do it. You've got a stronger will than any of us."

She smiled brightly at him for his kindness, then gave his cheek a smooch. "Allright, Junella. I'll do it. If I follow your tune, the cat heads'll blow up and gravity will scatter 'em all over the place, right?"

"Exactly right," Junella sang. Plus the explosion might give them an extra push through the loop. It wasn't certain enough to count on though. She had to look away to the road then. The tilt was increasing. The real fun was about to start. But she spared a second more with her hand off the wheel to give the hamsterfly a thumbs up.

Piffle took just enough time for quick Toby and Doll hugs. Then a deep breath. Then she opened the door.

They were driving at a thirty degree angle now, still at freeway speed. She needed a moment to orient herself before spreading her wings. The drag nearly yanked her into the wind, but she held on tight to the door frame. She was glad for her compound eyes. Back when she'd had eyelids, they certainly would've been watering from all the wind and road dust. From her position now she could see the harpoon turret clearly.

She let go.

It was over before she realized it. Instinct had taken over. She'd let the forward momentum of the car pull it out from beneath her, then she reached out and grabbed the turret as it passed by. Piece of cake.

"Hey, nice move!" Zinc called down.

"Oh hi!" she replied, waving. "Almost forgot you were up there!"

She had to yell a bit over the pounding drone of George's wheels and the incessant snapping smiles of the cat skulls. Thankfully, the ball had reached its top speed and couldn't do much more than keep up with them. But it was following damn close. It was trying to conserve energy for a lunge. If it could just get in a single bite, the rest of itself could swarm all over the car and devour it.

Piffle ignored the construct, as she tried to do with most bullies. "I'm glad you're here!" she shouted to Zinc. "Junella wants me to shoot the catball with a spear, and I don't have a gosh-darned idea where those are!"

Zinc smiled back. Piffle'd been asked to fire heavy weaponry at a twenty-foot-tall monster, and was remaining chipper as ever. What a gal! He pointed to her left. "See that tube with the hinge like a toolbox? There ya are."

"Thanks!" The road was getting steeper by the second. Piffle was starting to slip, so she positioned herself behind the turret, leaning forward onto it. She opened the spear box very slowly, careful not to spill any. "How do I unload the harpoon and swap this one out?"

"The big red button fires it. DON'T push that! Flick the square switch to the right of it."

Piffle looked around on the control panel and found it. This released the turret's hold on the harpoon and, due to their forty-degree angle, it slid out to clang against the road.

"Oh poop!" she exclaimed.

Zinc laughed. The harpoon was dancing around behind them, still attached by its rope. "Not a problem! Just reel it in!"

Piffle did so, then tucked it away in the spear box. Now came the problem of getting a new spear into the turret. She figured it'd be easier to ready the explosives first. She carefully pulled a percussive from her pocket and started peeling. "Gosh I hope this thing doesn't go off early!"

"It won't," Zinc assured. "I've used 'em before. They don't pop until they hear the go phrase: 'Now-"

Piffle looked up and shook her head violently. "No!"

He chuckled and grinned at her. "I wasn't really gonna say it, c'mon!"

"Ooooh, you're naughty!" she said, laughing too. The bit of humor actually helped to steady her nerves. She peeled the grenades as easy as pulling off candy wrappers, then arranged them nicely on the spear tip.

Under normal conditions, loading the turret would have meant taking a few steps along the platform and sliding the ammunition down the barrel. But considering how close to vertical they were by now, Piffle didn't want to chance falling off. That meant flying. She took another deep breath and spread her wings.

When the ball of skulls saw her jump from the car, it reacted like any predator to the movement of its prey. It pounced. The toothy mass moved like a swarm of birds, stretching forwards to snare her.

Zinc was not about to let that happen. He'd already been pedaling the cranks, and the instant he saw movement from the catball, he pounded it with a hailstorm of hot lead. BRRRRRTTT!

The whole ball shuddered and shed skulls like dandruff. Zinc dared to hope he might have unbalanced it enough to send it rolling back down the loop, but things were never that easy.

Piffle buzzed along behind the car with the spear out ahead of her like she was a pole vaulter. It took several tries to thread the end into that itty-bitty barrel hole, but finally the shaft sunk in with a satisfying clamping sound. She happily returned to her perch behind the turret and held on tight. "Whew! Mission accomplished!"

"Not yet, pet. You still gotta fire it!"

"That's right!"

Meanwhile, Junella had been calmly explaining their gravity predicament to George.

"Yes, Madam Brox, I did feel my wheels sliding precariously through that last loop. I had hoped you would have some idea on how to increase the down force upon the road."

"I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'."

"We do not have much time before we'll need to act."

She banged her fists on the steering wheel. "I KNOW!"

George had another thought. "I could retake driving duties if you need your hands free. All it would require is to keep a consistent speed, correct?"

She reigned in her temper. George was just trying to be helpful. "Thanks, but I'm in the zone here. I've got the feel. I'd worry about any slip-ups if we switched gears."

"I trust your expertise."

"No worries, hoss. You've been golden this whole time. You're getting' a big fat kiss on the lips when we can finally stop."

"I have no lips, but that would be very pleasant nonetheless."

Junella chuckled. George's smooth voice helped ease her stress. "Toby? You still sane?"

"Barely." He looked out the window at the horizon slowly turning over. He felt gravity sucking him back into his seat, pooling his blood away from his face and fingertips. His brain was slowly filling up with static. "I think I might be going into shock again. Feels nice."

"Try not to. Do you think you can handle a small job?"

He blinked in surprise. What could she possibly need him for? "I... Maybe?"

Junella knew that the feeling of helplessness increased the chances of a freakout. Having something to do helped a furson keep their head. She reached over to Zinc's seat for the detonator, then tossed it in Toby's lap.

He caught it clumsily, then stared at it. "You want me to...? I don't know, Junella! I'm a wreck right now! What if I stutter!?"

She locked eyes with him in the rear view mirror. "You won't. Just two little words. You remember them, right?"

He stopped himself in time from saying them aloud. That would have been a Very Large Oopsie.

"I'd do it myself, but I want both hands on this wheel, understand?"

Toby nodded.

And as Junella turned her focus back to the road, a humdinger of an idea popped into her brain. Letting the problem simmer had produced a solution. "George!! The car's your body, right? How much can you customize it?"

He wasn't sure how to answer that. "I am uncertain. I cannot alter my shape or mass, but-"

There was no time for idle words. They'd have to implement this idea before they hit the rapidly-approaching ninety degree mark. "The plow goes up and down. Can you get it up and over the gun turret!?"

The request seemed insane, until he envisioned exactly what he'd be reshaping it into. "A spoiler! Madam Brox, you are a genius!"

"Can You DO It!?" she exploded.

"I see no reason why not!" he shouted back with optimism.

Junella reached out the window to thump the roof and get Zinc and Piffle's attention. "Allright! This is the plan! We're gonna be upside down soon. If we get past the apex, that bunch of skulls could pounce right on us. That'd be undesirable. So when we're close, Zinc: you count down from ten. Piffle: when he gets to zero, you fire right into the heart of those bony fuckos. Toby: when you hear the turret fire, you count to one and say the words. George: you keep us on the road. I'll keep us steady. All clear!?"

"Roger that, Cap'n!" Zinc shouted.

"Roger!" Piffle followed.

"I'll do my best!" Toby said.

Junella glanced back and flashed him a teasing grin. "You'll do perfect or I'll feed you to that thing back there with barbecue sauce."

"Thank you for that pleasant thought," he gurgled.

George didn't have many seconds to spare, so he did some body calculations. The nailplow was raised and lowered by a pair of hydraulic arms. They could get the plow to the back of the car, but there wouldn't be enough clearance to pass it over the gun turret. He'd end up shearing it right off the back, and with Sir Zinc currently astride it, that would not do.

Closer and closer towards the ninety degree mark.

A Gordian Knot solution occurred. George grunted heartily as he ripped the plow in half down the middle. The whole chassis shook. Sprinkles of wood and metal clattered all along the bottom of the car between the wheels. It was his own flesh; he felt no pain.

George swung the lifting arms up and back, rotating the plow-halves on their mounts. "DUCK, Sir Zinc!!!" he called out.

Zinc sure as hell did. Two jumbo slices of nail-studded pizza whizzed past his head as he skroonched himself down tight against the gatling gun.

George locked the now-flat-side-up plow sections into place. Instantly he felt a strong gusty hand shove his backside against the road. The skate-blades had already given them some downward push, but the spoiler was the extra added 'oomph' they needed. He cackled in triumph, leaned his weight forward for balance, and sped forward.

Junella held her breath as he approached the ninety line

...and zoomed right past, slick as butter.

"YEAH!!!" she hollered. "Dynamite job, Georgie!"

Getting all the way through the loop would still require incredible skill, but this was a very good start. "Your idea was brilliant, Madam Brox! I feel like I'm glued to the road!"

She lovingly thumped the glovebox. "Then go, go, go! Pour on that speed nice and slow and thick, like maple syrup!"

George snorted agreement. He chained his focus to the road then, letting it whisper in his ear exactly how much more force and velocity he needed to keep racing onward.

They passed one hundred degrees. Then one hundred and thirty. The blood was rushing to their heads now. Nothing but friction and momentum were holding them to the road. They were a fly walking across a ceiling. The sea of glass had become the sky. If George's wheels lost their grip for an instant, there would be a gut-churning instant of weightlessness, followed by the fall.

The catskulls were keeping pace effortlessly. Grinding their ivories. Clinging to the pavement like velcro. Getting hungrier and hungrier by the mile. Zeroing in on dinner.

Zinc had his feet hooked around the crank pedals, acutely aware of how much gravity wanted to snatch him off. He looked below at the seeming miles of empty air between him and the bottom of the loop. Inverted like this, it was hard to swing the gun around to look forward, but he managed. They were not far from zenith point. Now or never. "Ten!" he shouted.

Toby heard the countdown begin and felt his throat close up. His mouth upholstered itself in sandpaper. It seemed impossible he could speak one word into the detonator, much less two. Impossible!

"Nine!"

Junella could feel sweat beading on her skin and sliding towards the ceiling. Her hands had an iron grip on the wheel. She could feel every tiny crack and bump in the road's surface, as if her feet and George's wheels were one and the same.

"Eight!"

Piffle steeled herself, finger over the big red button. She had the turret pointed just right. Into the heart of the thousand-jawed nightmare. Their empty eyeholes were all pointed directly at her. 'Criminy, something about that makes my skin crawl!'

"Seven!"

Toby envisioned himself choking at the final moment, unable to speak, unable to set off the bombs, dooming himself and everyone else. But he couldn't let that happen, no matter how much his cowardly core seemed to crave it. He searched his brain for a way to cancel his stage fright.

"Six!"

Doll was not having a good time. The belts were holding Toby in place, but she was loose and once again immobilized. She slid up the seats and onto the back window. There was nothing keeping her from the cat skulls but a thin pane of glass. She could see her burlap sack a foot away. So close, and yet infinitely out of reach due to her curse.

"Five!"

George reassured himself that even if they failed they were not necessarily doomed. He knew about the other addition to his chassis that Zinc had insisted upon. Junella did not trust the mechanism, else she would have engaged it earlier when she'd had a perfect chance. He guessed she felt better entrusting herself to her skills, rather than a machine. But it might save them if they fell. The only worry then would be the many-skulled nightmare falling upon them from above and devouring them in midair.

"Four!"

Practice. That was what Toby needed. Do it by reflex. He parted his lips and started mouthing the words, over and over and over, trying to keep his mind blank. If he could set his mouth to automatic, then all he'd have to do was breathe. 'Now please now please now please now please now please...'

"Three!"

Zinc kept his eyes latched to the road ahead, to the apex. But he could hear the deafening chatter of teeth behind him, clawing for his attention, daring him to look back. Were the skulls laughing at him?

"T-two!"

Piffle buzzed her wings to keep herself in place. She was hovering upside down with her hand above the button. Tense as a racehorse waiting for the starting gun.

"One!"

'nowpleasenowpleasenowpleasenowpleasenowpleasenow'

"ZERO!!!"

Piffle slammed her palm down. The turret let out a hiss of compressed air that shoved the spear out nearly as fast as a bullet. The deadly length sailed across the gap between the car and the cats. Their dead eyes turned towards the tiny toothpick, then their mass swallowed it whole. The skullball laughed unmistakably. Thousands of juddering jaws, teeth clacking together at the utter hilarity of these meat-beings. Thinking something so tiny could possibly pose a threat!

Toby's ears perked at the sound of the spear being launched. He counted 'now please now please now please.' His lips moved automatically. He breathed.

He spoke, clear as a bell: "Now please."

The skullsphere transformed into a thousand flaming calcium missiles.

The percussives' shockwave rippled the air and tore through bone as easily as newspaper. The nightmare legion's jaws were wrenched open in howls of surprise as the explosion shattered the collective. Their hivemind broke into a billion feral fragments, none able to register anything more than primal pain and fury.

Piffle was the only one looking backwards and thus the only one to take in the awesome sight: a fiery mass of bone falling from the road and plummeting towards, to her, the sky. It lost its shape as it fell, crumbling into smaller and smaller chunks. The spear had gutted it internally. The center could not hold.

Junella felt the blast reach out and shove the car. She felt the wheels slip. With no conscious thought, moving like flowing water, she eased the wheel and the gas pedal to compensate. She felt the Fearsleigher correct its speed, stabilize, and coast through the apex.

All of them felt it internally: the moment when their guts became weightless. They hung there an eternity, waiting to fall or sail through.

Junella held her breath. It took all the effort in the world not to reflexively hit the gas.

Toby felt a shudder of relief bolt through him when he felt the familiar tug of friction's reassertion. Junella had pulled them through. Blood was pooling in his head, and the seatbelts were digging into his skin, but all he could feel was amazement that they'd made it.

Then he felt small plastic fingers touch his shoulder. Y-O-U-D-I-D-I-T.

A smile broke over the mouse's face.

This second explosion had reawoken the freeway's rage. The loop began to tremble now. George felt it in his tires. The road was going to crack again. He looked all around, scanning for falling chunks of concrete, and wondered if it was even possible to dodge them while keeping their steady speed.

Zinc saw what was happening too. He started pumping his pedals. Readying the gun. If he saw even the tip of a tentacle, he'd blast it to kingdom come.

Junella watched the road preparing for a tantrum. The freeway's last ditch effort to punish those who caused it pain. She willed herself not to blink, not to think. She foresaw a coming crack and dared to ease the car gently to the left. 'Steady speed, steady speed... Past it. Good.' Now all she had to do was pull off that same impossible trick twenty more times until the road was finally flat again.

White lines shattered. Hunks of cement shook loose. Patches of red flesh and rebar started to burst through. Freeway blood began to slide and pool and drip through the cracks.

Zinc's eyes were built to stay open. He kept a hawk's watch on the blood. Waiting for movement. His wrenches trembled as they held the gun grips, ready at a millisecond's notice to squeeze.

'Ease left, ease left, ease left,' Junella told herself. 'Nice and slick. Wall off your fear. Yes, the road ahead is falling apart and you are on that road, but you are also Junella Fucking Brox, and you are going to get through this because, goddammit, you say so.'

Sometimes the most powerful thing in the world is remembering who you are.

The car slid like butter in a skillet along the road, past all its hurdles. Junella had chosen the loop's tippy-top to fire the spear for another reason: the scattering remains of the cat sphere would fall straight down, while the Fearsleigher's path was curved. It was simple math to see which one would reach the bottom first. Junella had foreseen this. She knew the skulls might still be dangerous if they landed en masse on top of the car, but maybe not if the skulls hit first and the Fearsleigher slammed right through. 'That'd be a fine time for George to get the nailplow back down,' she thought to herself.

The Fearsleigher was now almost perfectly horizontal. George looked up to see hundreds upon hundreds of cat heads raining down upon the freeway below. Most turned to powder upon impact, though plenty landed with inaudible crunches in the glass sea below. There was still going to be a snowdrift of shattered fragments for them to plow through at the bottom. Snow drift. Plow through. Oh, that gave him an idea! He waited to coast past the danger zone. Then as soon as he felt the car settle back into gravity's grip, he retracted the two halves of the nailplow, jammed them back together as best he could, and belched up a fireball to light them aflame.

A grin stretched across Junella's muzzle. 'I think I love you, Georgie.'

She was finally able to give the car some gas. They were past the worst three quarters of the loop and her guts were settling back into normal positions. Now that constant velocity was no longer a need, she could dodge the heaving chunks of road no sweat. She felt the heat from George's flames and they suited her mood nice and sweet.

Zinc was almost disappointed. The road ahead was churning itself into casserole, but wasn't spewing up any more tentacles for him to shoot at. Awww. Maybe the freeway was tired. Well, at least there was that minor mountain of wriggling skull chunks up ahead. Couldn't hurt to put some bullets into it.

George could see the pile of bone too. Moving. It was beginning to heal itself. "Madam Brox, do you think it would be advisable to go 'full steam ahead'?"

"Eat your heart out," she crooned. "Hell, I'll even let you take the wheel. You've earned it."

George felt control come back to his wheels and he skidded, but only for an instant. Then he was back in command. He flexed his steel and bone, reaffirming his love for this body. "Smashing!" he bellowed. Then chuckled at the inadvertent pun.

Zinc shouted down, "Go, George, go! I'll tenderize, you pulverize!"

"That sounds most agreeable, Sir Zinc!"

BBBBBRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!!

If the cat skulls thought their bad day was about to turn around, a blistering metal slap knocked that notion right out of their heads. Newly regrown skulls that had just pushed their way to the front of the pile were churned to splinters by Zinc's bullets.

And then here came a great big flaming nailplow.

To the sound of George's overjoyed cackles, the Fearsleigher bulldozed through. And for the second time that day, the sky rained skulls.

Barbecued bits of bone flew in every direction. The car juddered at the sheer heft of heads it had to punch out of its way, but they made it through easily. The Fearsleigher had become an unstoppable force, powered by the unbreakable will of its passengers.

All of them cheered their throats raw as they sailed through. Back on solid road again. With the offramp finally in sight.

Hundreds of skulls clattered onto the glass ocean below, sprinkling the landscape white. Some of the minor nightmares, the ones with a taste for marrow, descended and began a crunchy feast.




-***-

CHAPTER FIFTYSEVEN



The offramp.

Picture a whale's tail rising up out of the ocean after a dive.

Hypovolemia's freeway did not end with a sensible exit onto solid ground. Instead it curved upwards. Not into a new loop, but into a multi-headed ski jump. The ten lanes split like a bouquet in ten different directions. Beyond the ramps was nothing but sky above and endless shattered glass below.

Somehow, this didn't surprise Toby. He was starting to get the picture by now that Phobiopolis had its own version of Murphy's Law. Anything that could be made as terrifying as possible, would be.

Concrete shook and crumbled. The freeway was throwing a hissy fit at realizing the pain-insects on its skin were about to escape scot-free. There were less than two miles between the carload of irritants and open air. The freeway surged flesh out from within its cement skin to grasp and clutch and squeeze.

"Now that's what I've been waitin' for!" Zinc cheered.

BBBRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!!!

A low, agonized groan came from beneath them. The road had sent out its bloody tentacles to capture the insects, and now their metal-spitting scorpion tail was chewing through them like a lead lawnmower.

Zinc watched blood fly like confetti as he razed the tentacles on every side of the car. "GIVE UP YET!?" he hollered.

Junella could not wait to be off this road, even if all she had to look forward to was the acrophobia of Lumbago. There were no more 'good' places left on the path; just trading one rotten situation for another. Looking ahead, she nudged George into the right lane and goosed him for more speed.

"Hey, Toby!" she called out. "George too! This is important! Once we go off that ramp, you gotta close your eyes and keep 'em closed."

"That probably won't be hard," said Toby, rather relieved at being given permission to cower.

A note of worry was in George's voice. "Madam Brox, I have neither eyes nor eyelids. I'm not sure I would be capable of 'closing my eyes'."

She gritted her teeth. This could be a deadly problem. "You'd better think of a way real quick. Because each lane on that ramp points towards a different place. You only get there if you don't see the crossover. If even one of us peeks, the magic doesn't happen and we plunge straight down. It's like how Santy Claus won't come down the chimney 'till you're asleep."

"Oh dear heavens," said George. He envisioned himself and his friends smashing to bits in the shattered ocean, no choice but to crawl the agonizing miles back to Ectopia Cordis on bloody hands and knees. And all because his species couldn't blink! He felt a thunderbolt of rage and frustration rip through him at the unfairness of it all. Then suddenly a perfectly simple solution kicked him in the head. "This should work!"

Junella saw through the windshield as George pulled his skull back through the hole in the hood like a turtle.

"It should!" she agreed. And that reminded her, "Doll? Burlap time."

Toby leaned over to grab the bag and scoop Doll inside. No time to waste looking away and letting her do it on her own. Safely covered, she gave him a thumbs-up.

Meanwhile, Zinc was still trying to educate the freeway. His lessons consisted entirely of bullets. Tentacles were shooting up like weeds now. They'd become a forest if he didn't keep sweeping the gun back and forth to prune them. The tentacles speared towards them, seeking. They quivered and burst into frothy dreck as the bullets ripped through. The Fearsleigher was splashed with so much red it looked like it'd rear-ended a tomato truck.

Zinc happened to glance up ahead. There was only one thing that could have made him leave his perch on the gun. He saw it.

"Piff, take over for me!" he yelped as he clambered off the pedals.

"What!?" she squeaked. She'd been catching her breath since firing the spear and thought her part in all this was over. But the hamsterfly was loyal above all else, and in the blink of an eye she was fluttering roofward.

Zinc was poised at the edge, ready to jump down to the skate blade. He could see the tentacles rising up as soon as the bullets stopped. "Just point, pedal, and squeeze! Nothin's easier!" They were half a mile from where the offramp began to curve towards the sky. "I gotta go chat with Junebug right this second."

Piffle hefted her plump rump onto the gun. "Ooof!" She started pedaling as soon as her feet were in place, just as she was told.

"Thanks loads, kitten!" Zinc leapt and landed on the skate blade with an impact that sent them swerving. "Oh, and as soon as we're off the ramp, shut yer eyes and keep 'em shut if you like your ass uncontaminated by glass!"

Piffle rolled her eyes at him. "Obviously!" As if she'd never been on a perception-bent road before. "Waddaya think I am, a tourist?"

That got a grin out of him. Which grew even bigger when Piffle practically strangled the handgrips and sent a firehose spray of hot lead into the creeping batch of tentacles reaching out for them. 'My gun's in good hands,' Zinc thought to himself as he darted for the passenger door.

Junella was less than happy to see him. "What the fuck you doin' not on the roof!?"

He held up his wrenchhands. "Chillsville! Piffle's got it covered. I just came down because you're in the wrong lane."

The road was starting to tilt upwards again. In less than a minute they'd be flying.

Junella made a face like sucking lemons. "I am not."

Zinc reached for the wheel. "Hate to break it to ya. Fifth lane from the left is where we wanna be!"

She gnashed her teeth and slapped away his wrenches. "Fifth from the right! I remember from last time!"

"That's what you said last time!!"

Toby had one hand over his eyes and the other holding onto Doll. The argument from the front seat was sending his confidence plunging.

"Which lane should I be in!?" George wailed, starting to panic.

"Keep it steady!" Junella commanded.

"Not if you don't want us ending up in the middle of nowhere! Or worse!" Zinc shouted.

Junella snarled, clutching the wheel like a mother lion protecting her cub. "I know this road! I've driven on it since before we even met!"

Piffle was whizzing around like a helicopter blade and the tentacles still kept coming!

Zinc's heart was a jackhammer. "Juney, I love you, but you're misremembering. We've only got seconds left to change course!"

Toby stared in horror out the window, at the thumping, curling, dripping red arms converging all around them.

"I REMEMBER JUST FINE!!" Junella screamed.

Zinc reached across to the dashboard. "Really? Because you forgot to turn the headlights on."

Piffle gushed a sigh of relief as the freeway shrieked in agony. The Himmelman 500 headlights blazed to life, burning through the tentacles in front of them like twin scalpels of fire.

Clearing away the creepers had also cleared the way to see how much of the ramp was left.

About twenty feet.

Zinc's eyes widened and his ears flattened. "Well this argument just became academic."

Seconds later, George's wheels left the road and they shot towards the clouds like a bladed cannonball.

Toby's brain could not resist the morbid impulse to swivel his head towards the back window and watch solid ground recede away. He saw the blood tentacles writhing petulantly, cheated of their prey. But phasing through them fast came something else. Something that made his already-overworked heart thud faster.

A shimmering ghost of the Fearsleigher. Following them.

He shut his eyes, for several reasons.


***

Nothing below them but acres of air and an ocean of deadly, lacerating shards.

Toby heard the wind whistling outside the car. Felt the emptiness beneath their feet. Felt the cold chill of knowing that, in any world that actually paid attention to physics, the only place they were headed was straight down into glass. He had to trust faith that they'd end up somewhere less immediately fatal. Though, depending on whether Zinc or Junella was right about the lanes, that could be anywhere.

"EYES SHUT!!!" Junella screamed.

Everyone obeyed. Even Doll, inside her burlap, put her hands over her face.

Suddenly there came a loud thump at the side. Toby thought at first they were being attacked in mid-air. A last grasp of the freeway tentacles? Instead, the wind howled when the door popped open and Piffle tumbled through. Toby could not stop himself from a split-second peek: one arm was over her eyes while she fumbled with the other to get the door re-latched.

"Did you actually just get back here from the roof, blindfolded!?"

"Sure did!" she said, panting a bit. She wiggled her antennae at him. "Having an extra sense helps a bunch!" The hamsterfly skootched in beside him, Doll between, and took Toby's paw in hers. "One hand for my eyes, one hand for you. So we won't be scared."

There was no way a single touch was going to erase the tonnage of terror weighing down on his heart. But it did help a little. There was always the comfort of knowing he wouldn't die alone.

Something that also helped was the realization that they hadn't yet started to fall. Ever since they'd left the ramp, they'd been arcing up, up, and away. In fact, not only could Toby tell that they were still rising, their speed was increasing. As if they'd passed close enough to a comet to hitch a ride in its orbit.

Zinc was not calm. He had no idea where they were heading, and to avoid the compulsion to look ahead and find out, he popped his eyes out and dropped them in his jacket pocket. His leg jittered, fidgeting. "Christ, Juney, I hope I'm wrong and not you. I sure as shit don't want us ploppin' down in some place like Teratoma or Polydactyl."

"We will be fine," she replied. Her tone was fierce, but there was a quaver in it. Her fingers had trembled over her grooves.

"Sounds t'me like you're not fully confident on that point."

She was glad he couldn't see, because she'd reflexively raised her hand to give him a needle-filled slap. But she stopped herself, singing, "You'll see. Any moment now we'll end up on the river bridge. Smooth as silk. Just like normal."

"For what it's worth," came George's muffled voice from inside the hood, "if I was at fault in any way, I hereby apologize."

"No, no," Junella reassured. "You were solid, slick, and superfine." She realized he'd been trying to take the heat off her and felt cruddy about that.

Piffle spoke up. "How much longer are we gonna be in the air?"

Junella bit her lip, feeling even worse now about acting like a brat to Zinc when they had an audience in the back. "Shouldn't be long."

"Does it..." Toby started, not sure if it was worth mentioning or not, "Does it mean anything that I saw, like, another us just after we went off the ramp?"

"YOU WHAT!?" Zinc and Junella sputtered simultaneously.

Toby immediately regretted opening his mouth. Even with his eyes covered he could sense their incredulous looks. "Maybe it was nothing! Maybe I was just hallucinating!"

"Let's say you weren't. What exactly did you see?" Junella demanded.

Toby could feel the car continue to accelerate towards wherever or whatever was pulling them in. "It was like a mirage. The car, with us inside. Shimmery like a ghost."

Zinc sighed in relief. "Allright. I thought for a sec the bastard ambulance that got a taste of us figured out how to copy the car."

"Same here," Junella sang.

"So then what was it?" Toby asked.

Piffle squeezed his hand a little harder as a sudden memory poked her. "Oh cripes, I might have an idea..."

Junella did not like the worried shiver in the hamsterfly's voice. "If you can contribute to this discussion, then please-"

WHAMMM


***


Everyone's bones rattled. Their guts jumped. Their teeth clacked. Doll smacked into the ceiling and everyone's seatbelts nearly sliced them in half.

For a few moments they were all disoriented from the sudden resurgence of gravity. They had landed, but it hadn't felt like they'd smashed into the ground. More like something enormous had spontaneously appeared beneath them.

"Oh my tires! Oh my skull!" George moaned.

"Is it safe to open my eyes now?" Toby whimpered.

"Should be," Piffle said warily.

Everyone checked themselves out, searching for broken bones or, in George's case, busted shocks. Everyone ached, but didn't seem to be grievously damaged.

Toby risked a peek out the window.

Well, this was a pleasant change. Outside was the most refreshingly normal setting he'd seen in Phobiopolis so far.

They were in a wide field of healthy green grass, punctuated by perfectly average-looking trees, all spaced evenly apart. 'Must be an orchard,' he thought. The sky above was blue and bright, not abnormally overcast like everywhere else. About the only odd thing to note in this pastoral place; there sure were a whole lot of airplanes up there. Flying so high among the clouds they looked like specks. Like dust among cotton.

The air was quiet. Not even the sound of wind.

Toby felt his relief sour.

No, no, he couldn't be this lucky. This was just a mask, waiting to rip away and reveal this place's true, nasty nature. Just like everywhere else in this nightmare world.

George's skull cautiously emerged from the hood. His perceptions were keener than Toby's and he noticed right away there was something decidedly unusual going on here. The leaves of grass were all exactly the same shade. Not just mostly: exactly. They all pointed in the same direction too. And there were really only two trees, one a bit shorter than the other. Both were copied over and over again endlessly, laid out in a grid stretching to the horizon. There was something wrong with the horizon as well.

Junella leaned forward, scanning the sky. "See, Zinc? I told you I knew what lane we were in. I dunno how, but we must've skipped over the bridge and gone straight to Lumbago."

Zinc reinserted his eyeballs, took a look around, and cringed. "You think this is Lumbago?"

"Sure, sure." Her song was not confident. She sounded like she was trying to convince mostly herself. "It's a part we haven't been to before, that's all. See? Look up. Sky's full of biteranodons, just like always."

Piffle had been so busy tending to Doll, making sure her plastic companion hadn't gotten squashed on re-entry, that she hadn't looked outside yet. At the mention of biteranodons, she did. Her expression curdled into outright terror. "I was right!!"

Zinc turned around in his seat. "Yeah, you were gonna say something 'bout that. Just before the ground interrupted us." His jocular smile died out in an instant as he saw Piffle's face.

She grabbed at his shoulder. "This is a really bad place! We hafta get out of here right now!!"

Junella looked skeptical. "Doesn't seem all that bad."

Piffle didn't even glance at her. She poked her head out the side window, staring up at the sky at the slowly swimming shapes in the clouds. "Trust me. I found this place by accident one afternoon when I was trying to see how far up I could fly."

The wind arose, running its airy fingers through her hair.

Piffle pointed skyward. "LOOK!!"

They all craned their necks. For a moment, none of them had any idea what had gotten Piffle into such a commotion. There was nothing alarming above them except the endless blue and the clusters of airplanes.

Though, wait... Were the airplanes turning?

Slowly?

All of them?

ALL of them!?

In an instant everyone understood Piffle's panic, as an uncountable number of nosecones turned to point towards the Fearsleigher. Zeroing in like a platoon of hunting dogs.

And then they began to descend.

A trapdoor opened under Toby's heart, plunging it down into cold blackness. Time slowed to a stop. He was frozen. Eyes wide, mouth gaping open. All those silent shapes up in the sky. Hundreds. Like a flock of birds communicating soundlessly mid-flight. They had all received some secret signal. Down below was their target. Hundreds of noses dipped. Hundreds of dark, birdlike shapes began to grow larger. They were no longer flying. There was no sound of engines. They were falling. Like leaves. Like javelins. They only seemed slow because of how far they had to fall.

"GEORGE, DRIVE!!" Piffle screamed.

He did not waste a second hesitating. Tires growled on grass and flung dirt behind them as he dug in and peeled out.

Toby and Piffle nearly lost their heads as their necks slammed into the window frames.

Piffle yanked her mouse friend back inside."Are you okay?"

The mouse's vision swirled, but he managed to squeeze a sound out. "...ai-airplanes."

Piffle nodded. "Yup. They've smelled us. It didn't take long, did it?"

Toby looked again, hoping his eyes had lied the first time. No such luck. The sky was starting to dim with the presence of even more flying in from all corners of the sky.

George shouted, "Madam McPerricone! Please let me know exactly where it is I'm trying to get to!"

"Just drive straight!" she yelled back. "See how curved the horizon is? It's like a tiny little planet! The only way out is to circle all the way 'round and look for a shiny spot where we first showed up!"

"Can't we just turn back now and try to find it?" Junella protested.

Piffle shook her head. "No dice. I tried that the first time. It's all-the-way or nothin'."

The vinyl skunk looked up through the windshield, seeing the swooping flock of white vultures getting closer by the heartbeat. Her face melted into utter regret and self-hatred. This was 100% her fault. Her stupid stubbornness. "George," she sang softly, "would you like to see just how fast you can pull this car? Because I think we'd all really appreciate that right about now."

The stallion had been feeling despair himself, but the request ignited a spark in him. On the freeway, he'd spent most of his time regulating his speed. Going fast, but not too fast. It had been a torturous denial of his real desire: to go all out and really see what this new body could do.

"Madam Brox, I believe I would enjoy that very much."

"Brace yourselves!" Zinc shouted.

George whinnied, blasted fire from his nostrils, and prepared to chase his limits.

When he took off, the five passengers were all punched back in their seats so hard they saw stars.

Past the Fearsleigher's windows, the trees became blurs. Brown and green smears. George's tires shredded the immaculate grass in his attempt to put as much distance between himself and the falling nightmares as possible. He knew from the curve of the horizon he could not circumnavigate this place quickly enough to evade the crashes entirely. They would come. At best he could get a head start.

Above, the planes fell without a sound. They were shaped like passenger jets, but their windows were merely spots on their hides and their turbines never spun. They were nightmare constructs in the skin of airliners. They would never carry customers or cargo. They did not even have mouths to devour their prey. Their single instinct was to spot a living soul and smash into it. Their minds were simple, even by nightmare standards: Seek. Drop. Embrace in fire.

Toby stared at the rain of aircraft. It brought him back to memories of sitting at his bedroom window, seeing helicopters and passenger planes skimming by through the clouds. Watching a faraway, toylike flying machine and having that awful thought of, 'What if it suddenly... fell?' To have that fear magnified a hundredfold right in front of his eyes was almost too surreal to deal with. From this distance, he had no sense of scale. But he knew how big an airplane was. He'd seen them on TV. A direct hit would obliterate the Fearsleigher and all its contents. There would be fire, smoke, and then a million bits of wreckage no bigger than a tinfoil ball.

Junella stared straight ahead, hands at her sides, face slack. One hand weakly scratched her leg, "You can go ahead and say it, partner. 'I told you so'."

Zinc looked away from the approaching hellstorm, almost offended. "You think I'm gonna gloat at a time like this? People make fuckin' mistakes, Juney. Boo hoo! George'll pull us through, we'll get back on the road, and that'll be the end of it."

George spoke up from the hood, "I am glad to hear you have such confidence in me, Sir Zinc."

Zinc tickled the glove compartment handle. "Shouldn't I?"

That got a throaty chuckle from George. He appreciated Zinc's words, but couldn't spare any more attention on a reply. His focus was on the grid of trees. There was ample space between them for three Fearsleighers to pass side-by-side. But he knew this would not be a simple straight shot. There were ever more aircraft crawling in from every corner of the sky. All falling. He knew he would need to dodge impacts eventually. So he timed the trees. He would have to be very, very precise to thread himself through them. A crash at this speed would turn his passengers into paste.

Toby was terrified, as always, but showed no outward sign except for his stricken posture. His fate was entirely out of his hands. He was stuck in a metal box traveling at 200 miles per hour, targeted by a swarm of kamikaze nightmares, and he wasn't screaming. He felt like he couldn't scream. Maybe he'd already reached the limit of what his mind could stand in Hypovolemia. Maybe he was just numb. 'Or maybe you're adapting,' a part of him whispered.

He did not see the first crash, but he felt it. A second later he heard it.

A violent vibration shook the car, followed by a faraway boom.

Then came a second. And three more, one right after another.

Then more, and more. They were getting louder. They were getting closer.

Toby and Piffle could see, in the tiny reflection of the front seat's rear view mirror, that the trees behind them were turning into blossoms of flame.

George readied his shocks for a pounding.

SSSSSSHHHHHHTHAMMMM

The next plane hit closer than any of them were prepared for. Toby felt the Fearsleigher's back wheels lift off the ground. A shockwave grabbed him by the shoulders and shook. The window filled with searing orange. The sound nearly burst his eardrums.

In slow motion, in excruciating detail, Toby watched a turbine engine the size of a refrigerator sail past his window like a car in the passing lane. He could see the inner blades, the shredded skin, the mechanical guts, the tendrils of trailing smoke. Almost beautiful, like a painting.

George fought weightlessness, slamming his back end down on the ground where it belonged. He pumped more power into his all-wheel drive and kept on, steady as an arrow.

And now the air rippled with the painful pulses of aircraft crashes all around them. Like a giant's footsteps. An apocalyptic drunkard wobbling around, stomping the forest flat with every burning footstep. Chunks of wing sliced across the sky. The colors of fire were everywhere.

Antennae clutched in her fists, Piffle blocked her ears and tried to hide her eyes under her hat, shivering in her seat as one of her worst memories replayed itself.

Toby eventually noticed she wasn't holding his hand anymore. He was able to rip his eyes away from the ragnarok outside to see her curled up beside him, shellshocked. He wrapped himself around her in a hug.

Junella had not said so earlier, but she could empathize deeply with Toby's frustration at the lack of control in a bad situation. She could only stare at the steering wheel in front of her. George was fully in the driver's seat here. She knew the highway, but she wouldn't have dared to try navigating through the trees like he was doing. Whenever debris landed in front of them like a blazing meteor, George would adjust course quicker than she could blink, zipping through the forest like a champion slalom skier. It was breathtaking. And his moves were not jerky either. She didn't go ricocheting around in her seat with every sharp correction. George wasn't just driving, he was flowing.

The nightmare stallion's skull was empty. There was no room for thought. All energy was directed to pure automatic instinct. George was as mindless as his days before his burial. Only now, his purpose was to protect instead of pursue. All around him, explosions shoved at his sides and white-hot metal stung his skin. But he felt no pain. Pain was for later. Right now, all that existed was his vision and his wheels. He diverted course before he was consciously aware of doing so. His perceptions were a hundred feet ahead, trying to predict the debris before it fell. Playing chess with it. He had never felt more at one with the car. It was as if he'd been born in this body. Like his calcium had always been merged with steel.

Junella and Zinc both jumped in their seats when the headlights came on by themselves and blasted a clump of fallen branches into charred twigs.

The mutt and skunk looked at each other. George was a quick learner.

Zinc looked towards the roof. "I wonder if he can... No way, it's not-"

BBBRRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!!!

The canine's jaw dropped as he watched a falling chunk of fuselage get swatted out of their way. Shoved by a pummeling blast of bullets from the gatling gun.

Zinc stared, gobsmacked. "I've been replaced by automation."

Meanwhile, small burlap-covered hands were massaging Piffle's shoulders. The hamsterfly reached up to pat Doll's head, then thanked her with a kiss, though her gaze seemed glued to the floor. "I was trapped here for hours. Felt like days. Months," she said in a husk of a whisper.

"We'll make it out," Toby assured her.

W-E-W-I-L-L, Doll concurred.

"I know," she said, a tear falling from her ruby eye. "I know we will now. We've got George. But back then it was just me by myself. The planes were falling all around me. I was so scared. I died so many times. It burned. Hellfire. I couldn't find my way out."

Toby squeezed tighter. He'd never seen Piffle this way. Even when Amaurosis Fugax had fucked with all their heads and hearts, this was different. 'There must be a limit to everyone,' he thought.

The hamsterfly stared hollowly at the car's floor for a long time, trying to block out the flashes and bangs from outside. But then out of the blue, a small smile broke through her clouds. "Actually... I'm glad."

Toby was taken aback. "How!? About what?"

Piffle sat up a little straighter. "I'm glad I got snagged here before. I'm glad. Because, even though it was so awful and frightening, it taught me. I told George to drive. I gave us a head start." Sunlight broke over her face as she spoke, and she visibly returned to her normal self. "Because of the first time, I knew how to get us out this time!"

Toby was somewhat awed. Piffle's power to see the best in all things had been tested, and emerged victorious yet again. "That's right," was all he could say.

"I dunno if everything happens for a reason," she said, "but maybe there's always a way to take some good outta the bad if you can find it."

"Piffle, you are amazing." Toby leaned on her shoulder and held her tighter. Doll did too.

A burning hot rivet crashed through the window like a bullet.

Piffle shrieked, then realized she was unharmed. The rivet sizzled on the carpet and glass littered their backs, but it hadn't hurt anyone. She chuckled. "Gee whiz, that was close!"

'And there she is, back 100%,' Toby marveled.

Meanwhile, the driving was getting a bit more difficult for George. The crashes were coming closer, and quicker. He was having to dodge bigger and bigger chunks of wreckage. A swift diagonal turn kept a wing from clipping the gun turret off. Landing gear, seats, and other smaller detritus were knocked away by the nailplow. He was, at least, having success blowing up larger bits with the heated headlights and gatling gun, but it was a lot to juggle. Without fully realizing it, he'd been seeing 360 degrees by unconsciously appropriating the side mirrors as a second pair of eyes.

When it rains, it pours. More and more planes fell from the sky. Arrows of steel and glass and fuel, turning the ground to craters and the sky to smoke. George’s only advantage was that, once the planes picked their target and started to fall, they couldn't change course. They kept hitting where the Fearsleigher had already been. It was child's play to predict where they'd hit. The problem was their sheer damned numbers.

Every window was shattered by now. Piffle, Doll and Toby were huddled densely on the floor while Junella and Zinc tried to shield themselves behind the dashboard. Occasionally they'd risk a peek outside. Every glance showed a worse hell than the last. George was doing the impossible, guiding them through an unfathomable inferno.

Shattered shards littered their backs with tiny cuts. Flaming hot debris hit the floor faster than they could chuck it back out. The forest fires' heat was making blobs of black vinyl drip down Junella's legs to pool on the floor mat. Zinc hissed in pain when an icicle of bent aluminum sailed through the empty window and into his shoulder.

Junella reached out a comforting hand to him. Her voice was slurred due to melting. "How 'bout I buy dinner next time to make up for this?"

Through his pain, he managed to grin. "Sounds fair, babe. But this time I'm gettin' steak."

The endless green of this unknown planetoid had turned into volcanic reds. The trees were torches. More and more airliners seemed to spawn in the skies, relentlessly hammering down all around them.

George was running out of room to maneuver. The more crashes that came, the fewer options he had to avoid them. A scythe of fuselage tore a gash along his hood. Letting it wound him was safer than getting too close to the impact blasts on the opposite side. Pain was easy to ignore. He could be repaired. His priority was his passengers. And though he knew they could resurrect, there was a principle involved.

What drove him more than necessity was guilt. His memories replayed at the back of his thoughts: the long nights when he and his old herd would stalk, trample and devour unwary souls. How he relished the sensation of a mighty hoof crushing a spinal column. But he was something new now. To banish his old self, he had to drown it in fire. Every slash and dent in this beloved metal form was penance. As if he were reaching back into the past to take the suffering from his long-ago victims and place it upon himself where it belonged.

His pinprick eyes blazed brighter and hotter than the headlights. His body was illuminated with purpose. Trees and wreckage scattered away from the force of his bullets and plow. His wheels were like water. Shifting fluidly, drifting, skating frictionlessly between the trees. He had attained the same state of perfect purpose as Zinc slipped into when he'd been chopping down the mall.

And then something ahead grabbed his attention. "Madam McPerricone!!" he bellowed.

Piffle's head popped up. A smoldering piece of wood grazed her pith helmet. "Need some help, George?"

"You said you saw a shimmer where the exit was?"

Hope rose in her heart. "Yes! Like a wobbly place in the air! Like a funhouse mirror! I could see back home through it!"

Far ahead, hundreds of feet away, something glimmered like a ripple in a pond. George corrected course and made a beeline for it."It lies ahead!!" he shouted triumphantly.

"YES!!" Piffle exploded.

Zinc and Junella dared to look. They could see it too, the shimmer.

"Go for it, George!"  Zinc cheered. "You're faster than the Daytona 500! Faster than a space rocket! Faster than the motherfuckin' speed of light!!"

George had a straight shot. Plenty of splintered tree trunks and twisted, flaming airliner corpses along the way, but nothing he couldn't handle. He aimed for the shimmer and focused his attention in all directions around it, making sure the path was clear.

"Damnation," he snarled.

One last jet. Maybe smarter than the rest, maybe just lucky. But it was on target to impact the ground mere feet in front of the shimmer. It would hit before they could get through. George saw the wind tearing chunks away from its aluminum hide as it plummeted. Saw its expressionless black windows. It would eviscerate them.

"My companions," George spoke, "any spare willpower you could lend me right now..."

He didn't even need to finish his sentence. Junella gripped the steering wheel in her melting hands, pushing her soul into it as hard as she could.

The others saw and followed. Zinc clamped his wrenches on the dash and doorframe. Toby wasn't sure where or how to help, but he scooped up Doll in the crook of his arm and they both touched the side door.

Piffle laid hands upon the front seat headrests. She had her eyes closed, ignoring the battlefield outside and the shaking of the car. All her thoughts were on George.

Did he feel more power surge into his wheels? Did he just imagine it? Did their confidence and support help him find hidden reserves?

George did not know. He only knew that somehow, his wheels seemed to glide easier. The air resistance lessened. His speed crept past what he thought had been his maximum.

He became a bullet.

Reality seemed to warp around him. The trees were not just blurs, but swirls. All sound vanished. George's sense of touch melted away. Nothing mattered except racing that plane to be first through the shimmer. He was literally trying to outrun gravity.

Gravity was a hard opponent. The feral airplane began to slowly spin, then pick up speed, turning itself into a gigantic drill bit.

Through the shimmer, George could see vague  images of concrete and white stripes.

Zinc's wrenches dented the doorframe.

Piffle kept her eyes shut even when her hat caught fire.

Toby looked out through watery eyes. They were flying through a furnace.

The shimmer was a hole through reality. A wobbly-edged funnel through which light and matter melted and curled inward.

Two hundred feet away... one-seventy... one-thirty... eighty...

The airliner was close enough for George to see the seams in its metal nose. Its hollow black eyes seemed to grin at him. It was a shark. They were its minnows.

George felt the limits of physics holding him back by the shoulders. He snorted fire in defiance and shook them away.

The shimmer was so close he could smell it.

The airliner loomed.

Just before he shot through, George could swear he felt something scrape across his roof.

Then he was surrounded by some uncanny ether, like reality made liquid. He and his passengers stared in astonishment as time slowed to a stagger.

Behind them, the airliner dove nose-first into the dirt, its seams splitting, its panels shearing away, vomiting fire from its metal intestines. The sound was slowed and muffled. Impotent. The shockwave of the crash did little more than nudge them.

Their attention was elsewhere anyway. They saw, through the flickering, flowing walls of the shimmer, themselves. Up ahead on the offramp. About to go flying off into the sky to land on an unknown sphere where airplanes fell.

"Is that what you saw, Toby!?" Zinc breathed.

The mouse was pretty sure his heart had stopped, but tried not to let it bother him. He could see through the shimmer, across the concrete, through the back window of the Fearsleigher, into his own wide eyes. "Sort of," he croaked out.

The slo-mo ended just as suddenly as it began. They were shooting up the offramp at several hundred MPH. George's tires caught fire from the friction of the concrete.

No time to celebrate. Junella and Zinc both broke free of their awestruck paralysis to slam their hands down on the steering wheel and shove the car into the correct lane. No disagreement this time.

The blood tentacles were so flabbergasted they didn't even try to stop them.

For the second time that day, the Fearsleigher zoomed off the edge of the offramp like a shuttle to the moon.

They were all too dumbstruck by their escape to do much more than stare out the broken windshields as they sailed weightless through the air.

Doll suddenly covered her face with her hands.

"Oh crap, that's right!" Toby shouted, nearly dropping her in his haste to get a paw over his eyes.

That reminded everyone, and in an eyeblink Junella had ducked her head under the dash, George retreated into the hood, Piffle hid behind the front seats, and Zinc threw his eyeballs into the glove compartment.

Toby could still envision the expression on his face, staring out from the back seat at himself staring back at himself. "So... time travel. Does that happen often in Phobiopolis?"

"Two words," Junella replied, "FUCK and NO! Whatever the hell that was, Zinc and I've never seen it before, and that's saying something!"

A voice from under the hood: "To be perfectly honest, Sire Toby, neither have I."

Toby didn't know how to feel about the fact that there were things in this land that went beyond the knowledge of even his fearless companions.

thump

There was a minor jolt, no worse than a speed bump, and suddenly they were perfectly stationary. Before he opened his eyes, Toby could smell salt and feel moisture in the air.

He raised his head. Outside was a shimmering blue blanket that stretched as far as the eye could see.

"The river bridge," Zinc introduced.




-***-

Part Fifty-Three


Toby guessed that "the river bridge" was a name chosen out of ironic inappropriateness, or simply because it sounded good. It was certainly a lot better than, "the bridge hanging out by itself smack dab in a kazillion miles of open water".

It was conspicuous in its normalcy. Six lanes, surrounded by crisscrossing diagonal support beams and gleaming white guardrails. Many structures in Phobiopolis appeared ancient or timeless, but the river bridge looked like someone had reached down to Earth, picked up a modern-day highway bridge by its trapezoidal handle, then plopped it down in a giant bathtub.

On all sides was a proper ocean. Water, not glass. The surface was a rich, intense blue, like lapis lazuli. The water rolled and sloshed. Its waves were content and lethargic. The air was invigorating, full of salty smells and soothing sounds. Toby knew in his gut that there were probably all sorts of untold horrors lurking just below the surface in the unseen deep, but for now, the water was calm and pretty, and that was just what his nerves needed.

Piffle pulled her arms away from her face like a self-unwrapping Christmas present. She poked her head up, periscoping around. "We made it!!" she shouted joyfully. "We're all still here!" She swept Doll into her arms for an extra-big hug, then pounced on Toby and peppered his cheek with kisses.

Junella flicked a short smile in the direction of the rear view mirror.

George took in a deep sniff of sea air and sighed deeply. He was banged up, pockmarked, overheated, and his wheels ached like hell, but he was happy. He'd fulfilled his mission. He'd raced against impossibility and won. He'd pulled off a genuine miracle. No need to brag about it to the others, but he did cheerfully dwell on the pleasant feeling for a while. "I hope everyone inside me is relatively unscathed?" he asked.

"Near 'nuff," Zinc said, pulling out the shard of fuselage. "You did a fuckuva job back there, George. You beat the devil."

The car rocked side to side a bit as the praise made him wiggle in happiness.

Piffle's smile was gargantuan as ever, but Toby could feel her muscles fluttering. She'd really been shaken by the experience, and her relief eclipsed even his. He gave her another big squeeze, then reached for the door handle.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Junella barked.

Toby looked up, a little shocked. "What did I do? I was just gonna go thank George."

"Nothin' wrong," she reassured. "And I think that's something we all ought to do. Just not yet. Wait for the spinning to stop."

Well that was a nice little chunk of dread to fling at him. "What spinning?"

Zinc checked his seatbelt again, just to be sure. "Oh, you'll see in a moment."

George snorted. "Botheration. More perils?"

"Naw. This is the easiest part of the trip. Just keep still. You'll know exactly when it's safe to move around," Junella replied.

"All bridges take you somewhere. This one just does it more literally," Zinc quipped.

The bridge was not free-floating. It did not shift with the waves. It was anchored to something deep below. Soon they felt a shudder come from beneath. Some great mechanism struggling to life. The water began to bubble at the sides of the bridge.

The juddering increased until everyone in the Fearsleigher was holding onto their seats and trying not to bite their tongues. Then some unfathomably huge cog below them managed to finally overcome inertia and engage. Waves crashed and water splashed up onto the road surface. As if attached to some gargantuan drive shaft, the bridge began to rotate. Slowly at first, like a ferry pulling out of the harbor, but then it began to gain speed.

Toby held Doll tight in his lap, ashamed that he'd let her go bumping around the interior before. He could feel the rotation of the bridge starting to churn his stomach acid. He had a feeling that if he ever went to a carnival, he would not enjoy the rides.

George could feel increasing G-forces tugging at him. "I'll slide right off!"

"No you won't!" Zinc reassured. "Just keep cool and ride it out!"

Faster and faster they spun. The water turned to sprays of white foam all around. The bridge's unseen mechanism made deep, rumbling roars beneath the water. Sounds that vibrated through the asphalt and up their spines. Everyone in the car was leaning hard to the side as the velocity of the spin kept rising and rising.

Rising and rising... literally!

Toby felt the difference when the harsh shaking of colossal machinery smoothed away into a stable spin. He could see the horizon drop outside and feel the change in weight beneath his feet. The bridge was flying! The machine below had spun it up to speed like a gyroscopic top, and now they were whirring in place, hovering above the surface of the water!

The river bridge continued to ascend. Floating on thin air, held aloft by momentum alone, it climbed to twenty feet above the water, then began to slide sideways. Without any landmarks around, their direction was unknown. But the bridge seemed to have one in mind.

Just when the spinning was starting to become unbearable and Toby was worrying he'd need to whip off Doll's bag to be sick in, he felt it start to ease.

"R-r-right on t-time," Zinc stuttered.

As slowly as the spin had begun, it reversed. But only for the car and its passengers. The bridge itself was still impersonating a berserk merry-go-round. Yet through some inexplicable means, the Fearsleigher's rotation steadily decreased until it finally eased down to a perfectly smooth stop, leaving all of them frazzled but unharmed.

It didn't help Toby to look out the window and see the bridge still buzzing in circles around them like they were its axis. Had a section detached to stop them spinning? He hadn't felt anything like that. It seemed like they were gliding in place on a cushion of frictionlessness.

"This is more like it," Zinc said. He popped his door open. "Now we can get out and stretch our legs."

Toby was about to cry out, worried the centrifugal force would fling Zinc away like a tornado.

Instead, the canine calmly stepped out onto the skate blade. He gave it a stomp. "Rock solid. Anyone wanna join me out here? Great weather for a beach party."

Junella slid out to join him. She stood up and cricked her back. "Uhhhgh. Fuckin' seat..."

Piffle perked up. "Let's go give George a hug!" She opened her door and, with a mischievous grin, grabbed Toby by the shoulders to yank him and Doll out with her. A short squeaking flight later, they were plopping down on the hood. Piffle crawled on all fours over to the stallion's skull and threw her arms around it, bombarding George with love. "You're the tops, Georgie! I love ya to the moon and back! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

The construct was delighted. "Goodness, Madam McPerricone! You will make me blush!"

"Then we'll both be pink," she said with a giggle.

Toby looked over the hood to see the white lines on the asphalt whizzing around underneath them. They really were keeping still in one spot while the entire bridge rotated around them. "How...?" he muttered to himself.

"C'mon, Toby! Get over here and hug this horsie hero too!"

He chuckled. "Just a moment, Piffle." He was still holding Doll and tried to keep her safe while scooting himself in tiny, careful steps across the hood.

I-C-A-N-D-O-I-T, Doll spelled out.

"Well... okay." He didn't want her to go skidding off and get flung across the ocean, but he also didn't want to overprotect her. He set her down on her little plastic feet and, without an ounce of fear, she toddled over to join Piffle's hug. 'I have literally less courage than a baby doll,' Toby thought, feeling his cheeks flush. He awkwardly shuffled over to give the skull a pat as well. "You're really something special, George."

"Thank you very much for saying so, Sire Toby. I was just as surprised as you at how far I was able to exceed my own capabilities. I am glad we all made it through safely."

At that, Toby looked down to the gash in the metal his hand was resting upon. He sat up, finally taking in the damage the airline nightmares had wreaked.

It was bad, but not as bad as he'd imagined. Every single window was completely gone. The paintjob was scratched all to hell. Uncountable divots, shrapnel holes and slashes. But the Fearsleigher, and George, remained structurally intact. They'd lost every one of the nightmare-repelling plushies though. (Toby thought that must have happened a lot earlier, considering how up close and chummy the ambulances were acting back on the highway. Or maybe they were just too mean to be affected.)

Zinc balancing himself with his wrenches at the far edge of the skate blade, leaning far back to survey the aftermath. He whistled. "Luck? Skill? I dunno what you've got George, but I'm impressed as hell by it!"

"That goes double for me," Junella sang sincerely. "Thank you for pulling us out of my stupid mistake."

Any remaining pain from his battle scars faded to null. George was awestruck at this outpouring of gratitude. He didn't think his species could cry, but he wouldn't have minded if he did. This was such a new feeling from anything in his old life. He felt overwhelmed, unprepared, and deeply appreciative. "You are all welcome. I did my best for you, and am glad it was enough. We are all together, safe and sound. I could not be more pleased."

Zinc nodded. "Now, while we've got time, let's see if we can't get a few repairs in before land ho."

Piffle kissed George's temple. "Absotivey posilutely! We'll give you the royal spa treatment!"

"That would be simply stupendous, Madam McPerricone."

Zinc popped into the back seat to root around for supplies. Amazingly, the cornucopia had survived. Splintered and stepped on, but still intact. "Eyyy! Anyone else for a snack? Stress makes me ravenous." He reached inside and the first thing that touched his hand was a pack of Red Apple cigarettes. He looked surprised, but not too surprised. He stared at the pack for a moment with wistful nostalgia, then turned and chucked them far into the ocean. He went back to the cornucopia and this time found a wrenchful of red licorice. "That's more like it."

The dented cornucopia was passed around. Toby calmed his nerves with a can of cool rainwater.

George turned his head. "I do not require food or drink, Sire Toby, but I think I would find it rather refreshing to have some of that poured on top of me."

"No problem."

Toby upended the rest of the can over George's skull and the bonecuddy sighed blissfully. "Mmmm. More please?" he gently requested. Toby and Piffle both pulled out cans and started giving their nightmare friend an invigorating shower.

Soon Zinc whistled for them. "Time to punch the clock, comrades."

Piffle jumped off the hood and flitted right over, eager as could be. "Whaddaya need me to do?" Zinc said her wings would be perfect for the job and presented her with what looked like a toothpaste tube. She knew just what it was for and buzzed on over to the back window frame, starting to squeeze out liquid glass. Junella selected a soldering torch from the mat, grabbed Toby's seatbelt, secured herself, and hopped off the blade to dangle below.

Zinc noticed Toby was standing on the edge of the hood and staring down, trying to build up the courage to jump to the skate blade. "Lemme assure you that your worst fears are completely founded."

His head jerked up. The whirling pavement was mesmerizing. "Um, don't you mean 'unfounded'?"

That grin again. "Nope!"

"I thought not."

"Our first time through here, I got some real bad stupid in me and thought I'd hop outta the Killcanoe and check out the scenery." He made a gesture with his wrenches like flicking a marble: "P'chooo! Straight off the side! I managed to grab onto a chain and was dangling at the end of it for dear life! The spinning nearly knocked my whole face off!"

Toby's eyes were wide. "Geez, how'd you get back on?"

"I didn't! I fell off and died," he said nonchalantly.

From below came Junella's voice. "You cannot believe the pain in my ass trying to rescue him. I had to drive the car off the bridge, splash down, hunt around with the metal detector, throw out some rope, then wait for his dumb dead ass to reanimate so he could clamp hold of it."

Zinc busted a gut laughing. "Neither of us can swim worth shit! I sink like a rock and Juney's too buoyant. All she can do is float like a rubber duck. I hadda lock my wrenches on the rope and get towed to shore, drowning to death every coupla minutes!"

Junella could not help a snigger.

Toby was once again discombobulated that they could be so jolly about something that would have been a psyche-destroying nightmare for him.

"By the way," Zinc added, "you don't have to jump here from the hood. Try sliding down through the busted windshield."

Toby looked to his right and, indeed, there was a perfect pathway there. 'Great, now I feel cowardly AND unobservant!' The little cubes of spilled safety glass made him nervous, but he'd rather deal with them than jumping.

"In fact..." Zinc had an idea. He dug into the storage space and brought out a shopping bag. "Here ya go, boss. You and Doll can fill this up with all the glass bits and other crap. That way you can help out without having to watch the bridge do the twist."

Toby took the bag. "That's very considerate of you."

Zinc punched the mouse's shoulder. He smiled, and this time it was completely genuine. Like how a big brother might smile. "I tease ya, but it does take some time buildin' up an immunity to this place. The constant horrorshow. You're coming along a lot better than you probly realize, Toby. You're a different mouse already from when we first met."

Toby felt warm. Part of him wouldn't believe Zinc's kind words, but the rest of him was simply grateful. "...Thank you."

The canine grinned. "Besides, this leaves all the fun jobs for me!" He lightly tugged on the mouse's tail, then snatched up an imaginite welding cannon and gave it a few loud revs.

Toby chuckled and went to work.


***


Unsurprisingly, Doll was very good at hunting down all the little bits of debris that were hidden beneath the seats. Toby did his best as well. If he couldn't be brave or skilled, he could at least be meticulous. No cube of glass or scrap of metal escaped his sight.

They all chatted as they worked. Though Junella not so much, as she tended to have her hands full most of the time. They could all hear her climbing around below the blades, her torch going 'fwoosh' and sending bits of slag dripping down. George cooed and squirmed the whole time. The heat eased his tension marvelously.

In between zaps from his cannon, Zinc gobbled more illusory snacks and rambled on about whatever topic came to mind. He talked about some of the nightmare beasts they might face ahead, about his favorite music, about past jobs, and about how he could see up Piffle's skirt whenever she flew by. She made sure to wiggle her fanny at him a few times. She also helped Toby by flicking loose bits of the old windows into his bag as she filled in new ones.

"It gets off to a rough start, but man does this bridge save time," Zinc said. "I'll take a short whirly flight over hours of boating any day. No clue why this's here or how it works though. Some say all of Phobiopolis was a blank sheet until people started exploring it. That whatever they expected to find out here was what they found, and it stays like that because everyone else who comes by expects it to too. I can't cogitate on eggheady stuff like that for very long. Like, if we'd all concentrated real hard on landing on a giant rib roast instead of a bridge when we left the offramp, would it change?"

Toby chuckled at the image. "Don't ask me. I'm just vacationing here."

Thinking about geography reminded Zinc of something else. "Say, that place with all the airplanes... That's not on any map I ever seen."

"I bumped into it near Stoma. Maybe it moves around," Piffle said.

"Like a moon," Zinc considered.

That was a bizarre idea, Toby thought. A moon that orbited within the atmosphere. But it certainly wasn't too impossible a concept compared to everything else in the realm. "Do you think we're the first to discover it?"

"By the law of probability, nah," Zinc said. "Although..." A lightbulb went off above his head. "...we might be the first to claim credit! Hot damn! We could get our names in the hist'ry books!"

"That'd be swell!" Piffle said.

He bowed to her. "And you're the one who found it first, so the honor of naming it would go to you."

"Me?" Piffle fidgeted bashfully. "Golly, I wouldn't be able to decide on a name for a whole big moon. Toby? How 'bout you?"

He set down his bag (which had gotten pretty full, he was proud to say). "Me?"

"Sure! You told me about how you used to get the sniffles all the time. I'm sure you'd know lots more medical words than I would."

"Yeah," Zinc added, "you could uphold the Phobiopolan naming tradition better'n any of us."

Both the canine and hamsterfly were surprised when this suggestion sent Toby rigid with shock. The mouse froze with a rictus stare, like he'd just had cold water splashed over him.

Piffle fluttered down to touch his shoulder. "Toby? Did I bring up bad memories or somethin'?"

He was still staring off into space. "No, no... It's not your fault, it's just..." The mouse seemed to be coming awake after a sudden, intense hallucination. "It's just that I'd been noticing it all along. The names. Everywhere we've been to, it's all been old, obscure names for diseases and injuries and things like that. Even the words I'd never heard of, I could guess they followed the same pattern. I'd actually been keeping my mouth shut about it this whole time."

Piffle cocked her head. "Why?"

Toby looked embarrassed, uncomfortable, and strangely guilty. "I thought... It's crazy, I know, but I thought that it was just too perfect a coincidence. Someone like me, who's had every illness under the sun, somehow ends up in a place where everything's named after illnesses? I thought maybe it was a sign this was all a dream. Maybe this was all here for me. Like, I'm in a coma somewhere and making it all up as I go along." He shook his head. "I don't know why it seemed to make sense, but on some level I was convinced that, so long as no one ever brought it up, I could keep holding onto it as 'proof' none of this was real."

Piffle's antennae drooped. "Sorry to pop your bubble." She leaned in for a hug.

He patted her back. "No, it's okay. I kinda already knew I was lying to myself. No dream I've ever had has lasted this long or felt so real. And honestly, I'm glad in a way. I'm glad you're all real."

Zinc and Piffle smiled at him. George craned his neck to do the same. Doll lightly touched Toby's arm. And beneath the car, Junella chuckled silently.

Toby went on. "I'll even admit, there's some parts of Phobiopolis that aren't so bad. Like all the food I've never tried before, and all the amazing things to see in Coryza and EC. But... can you blame me for holding out hope that maybe I'd just wake up one day? That I wouldn't have to keep on trudging to Anasarca, chased by monsters and ambulances and airplanes and things?"

"Yeah, I copy," Zinc said softly. For just a moment, he looked out past the clouds. "Though I dunno how it got in your head that us not talking about the names proved you were havin' naptime."

Toby sighed. "Dream logic, I guess? It was like I knew a secret everyone else didn't, and they should have been, and that didn't fit, so..." The theory seemed to make less sense the more he tried to explain it. "...So it really is just a coincidence."

"They happen," Zinc said with a shrug.

Something else occurred to him. "Actually, now that I think of it, the only place I've been to that I know breaks the pattern is Phlogiston. I saw that in a book. It's a nonexistent substance people used to think made things catch fire."

Zinc suddenly looked sheepish. "Yeah... heh heh. Juney and I chose that when we moved in. We were kinda cocky and wanted to claim the place for the queen of Spain, get me? But we, ah, misremembered what the word meant and by then it was too late. We'd already painted the sign."

"And misspelled it," Toby remembered. "'Baware' of Tinder Fingers?"

"Hey, I was still teaching myself to write with these things!" Zinc clanked his wrenches. "I was paying more attention to penmanship than spelling. Heck, for how clumsy I was back then, that sign's a flippin' masterpiece."

Piffle giggled behind her paws.

Shifting the focus, Zinc pointed out, "You never did give us an answer, Toby. Naming rights to a moon. Anything that strikes your fancy. What'll it be?"

"Uh..." The mouse sputtered for a second. He put his trash bag aside and cleared his mind, trying to remember a lifetime's worth of doctor's appointments. All the long, complicated names of conditions he'd once had. He'd neglected to mention what was truly the best about Phobiopolis. He was healthy here. He'd been symptom-free for so many days now, he was beginning to forget what sickness had felt like.

"Kartagener," he said absently. It came to him without thought as he rustled through his big box of diseases. "From my Kartagener's Syndrome. It sounds as much like a place as anywhere else, I guess."

"I think it's a very nice name," Piffle said. "Prolly too nice for a place like that to deserve," she added.

"Kartagener it is then." Zinc leaned over to pluck an ice cream cone for Toby from the cornucopia. "Mazel tov."

Toby took a lick and Piffle darted in to steal one too. They both giggled.

Then they were interrupted by George clearing his throat. "Excuse me, but I have been waiting for a natural break in the conversation to point out that I believe I can see our destination."

Everyone craned their necks.

"And congratulations, Sire Toby. It is a fine name."

Toby gave the window frame a 'thank you' pat.

Phobiopolis was back to doing its unseen scene transitions. Toby wondered if the scenery waited for everyone to be distracted before it changed, or if there was a fuzzy place in the middle where one place blurred into another. Either way, the bridge had carried them very high up into the sky amongst endless foamy clouds of fog. Many yards ahead, just barely visible, was a dull orange rock formation. A lone pillar amongst cotton candy.

"Looks like we got just enough time to pack up the tools 'fore we dock," Zinc said.

"I'm almost done with the windows!" Piffle said, dashing back to work.

Below, they could hear Junella's torch roar its raspy hiss. "Just a few more spots, Georgie-sugar. I'll get you all patched up 'n shipshape."

"I appreciate everyone's attention very, very much," he told her.

"Least we can do for my favorite tank," she replied.

Toby handed his bulging trashbag to Zinc. "Here. I think Doll and I got everything."

"Good job, both a ya." He gave Toby his equivalent of a thumbs-up (extending the screw on his wrench), then patted Doll on the head.

She seemed a bit stunned at the friendly touch.

Once Zinc had clambered up onto the roof to feed the garbage into the casing chute, Toby bent down and whispered to her, "I think you're starting to fit in."

She looked up to him. It was hard to read her expression from the tiny eyeholes in the bag, so she bent over and scribbled on her pad for a moment. She handed Toby the paper:

"I'm HAppy. ALL I've wANTed THIs wHoLe TIme Is To NoT maKe peopLe scareD."

Toby gave her a warm smile.

She put her writing pad away and opened her arms.

Toby picked her up and sat her on his shoulder so she could see across the rolling white mists. "We'll get you all fixed up when we reach Anasarca. I'm sure Aldridge will be able to help."

Doll nodded. B-O-T-H-O-F-U-S, she spelled.

"You can be who you used to be, or choose a whole new look. But you'll have a face again. And a voice. I don't know if I can promise it, but I'll do everything I can for you to make it come true."

A tiny finger wrote on his shoulder, T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U-T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U-T-H-A...


***


Piffle, Doll, and Toby were all buckled in for docking. They could see the rock plateau much clearer now. It was the color of pumpkin pie and, though there was no telling how tall the pillar was, the space on top was roughly equal to a parking lot. (Though not EC's.) Junella and Zinc weren't in their seats. They stood on either side of the front doors, gazing ahead through the fog and hoping to spot any danger signs before they became actual danger.

George was feeling rather well, all things considered. A nice clean interior, new windows, and most of his scars sealed over. He was slightly embarrassed to be seen in public with a ruined paint job and flecks of silver sealant along his hide, but he reasoned to himself that performance was more important than looks.

The river bridge's spinning slowed steadily. It eased up to the rock plateau and finally bumped against it with barely a jolt. Like it'd done this a thousand times before.

Junella thumped the roof. "Roll out, George! Before it decides we want to head back for a swim!"

"Straight away!" Though when he rolled forward he winced, as his tires were still a bit sore from the rough ride Kartagener had given him. Thankfully the flat, sandy rock was not too coarse beneath his tender treads.

Once they were off, the river bridge waited around a few moments more, as if checking whether anything else wanted to debark from it. Then it gave a shrug as if to say, 'Not my problem', and began again to rotate. The six travelers watched it spin back up to its previous velocity and vanish away into the clouds. Piffle waved out the window and thanked it.

Junella hopped down from the skate to scout around, making sure everything was as she remembered it from last time. No more unexpected unpleasantries. She drew in a deep breath through her nose, then coughed. "Yep. Same stink."

That left Zinc to resume his role as tour guide. "Welcome, welcome, welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the charming vacation paradise of Lumbago! ...And yes, it actually is Lumbago this time."

"I heard that!" Junella barked.

Zinc 'tee-hee'ed. "Scenic land of ten-thousand birdshit-splattered rocks, with creaky rope bridges as far as the eye can see. If you're afraid of heights, well then, tough titty said the kitty."

Toby made a face. "I think I'll be staying in the car."

"Y'sure? This next part's kinda fun." Zinc got a manic gleam in his eye. "Watch this!" He jumped down from the blade with a dusty thump and ran off across the plateau.

Toby leaned out the window and held Doll where she could see too. Outside, a half-acre of rock was the only visible land. There could have been innumerable pillars like this all around, but if so, the mist was hiding them like a miser. Toby wanted to believe it was just a whole lot of ground fog, but from the harshness of the wind he felt sure they were literally walking among the clouds.

A thought struck him out of the blue: how were they going to get the Fearsleigher down from here? Unless another bridge was due to show up soon, they'd been marooned on a towering stone finger hundreds of miles in the air. Maybe Zinc had an idea. And maybe-

Wait.

Was Zinc running straight towards the edge of the plateau!?

Zinc's tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth, flapping in the breeze. His feet pounded rhythmically against rock. He kept his gaze locked ahead, not paying attention to the fact that there was nothing visible ahead but clouds.

He ran at full speed onto nothingness.

"Zinc!!" Piffle shouted.

Toby clutched the windshield.

Zinc kept running.

"He's doing that thing again," Junella commented with mild irritation.

The ground left him behind. The wind whipped through his cheekfur. It made his ears and jacket flutter. His heart was beating hammerstrikes against his ribs. Zinc blocked out everything else but momentum. He kept straight for a few yards, then dared to curve his path a little, back towards the rock. It'd been a while since he'd done this.

Toby's jaw was hanging open. The world had turned into a cartoon on him. Zinc was acting out the scene where a villain would run off a cliff, then remain in the air for as long as they didn't look down.

Though looking closer, that wasn't the case. Toby could see blurs of motion below his canine compadre. As Zinc made a looping turn back towards the car, thin pillars would shoot up to meet every footstep. Like he was running across a path of stepping stones, but they only existed for the exact split-second they were needed.

Piffle cheered wildly as Zinc zoomed in for a landing. He was panting hard, gaze frenzied. The moment he was back on terra firma, he slid to a stop and bent double, wrench-hands on his knees, sucking in huge lungfuls of oxygen.

"Holy... moley... macaroni!" he moaned, "I forgot... how fuckin' THIN... the AIR is... up here!"

He looked for a moment like he might pass out, then he gulped down one more gasp and stood up in a 'tada!' pose, a goofy grin on his muzzle.

Piffle clapped her paws pink. "Woo hoo! That's stupendous! How in the world didja do it?"

"No trick, really," he rasped as he started dragging his tired pelt back to the car. "The rocks pop up automatic-like. All you gotta do is keep running. But that's also the tricky part, 'cause you don't dare stop. One hesitation and down you go."

Toby was speechless for a moment at Zinc's stunt. Then an absolutely awful thought occurred to him. "Waitaminnit! We're not all gonna have to run across to get where we're going, are we!?"

Zinc chuckled at how the mouse's panic had made his voice rise an octave. "Naw, naw." He was starting to get his breath back to a normal rate. "Vehicles work fine. You can stay in the car."

All of a sudden, Toby felt sheepish about that. "I mean... maybe I could do it. If I really tried."

Zinc waved away his worry. "I have a policy against wasting my time on false bravado. I suggest you adopt the same. Fact is, what I just did is as difficult as it is stupid. I'm a professional moron, remember? Try it sometime: do one thing, continuous-like, without the slightest skip. It's hard. And it's harder the more you try and concentrate on it."

"I can imagine," Toby said. "Like dumbfounding."

George nodded towards the group. "I should think I will be able to accomplish such a task with relative ease," he said. Then quickly added, "Not to brag! I am merely acknowledging that nightmare constructs are naturally skilled at being... single-minded."

"Good to hear," Zinc said. He ducked under the car, then popped up on Junella's side, hoisting himself up on his elbows. "You were always good at it too, partner. Whattaya think? A race? Me and you?"

"Across the canyon!?" she sputtered. She flicked her scarf over her shoulder in annoyance. "Zinc, after all that hardship on the highway, I don't want to do anything but sit. Take it easy for a while."

He shrugged. "Perfectly reasonable, perfectly reasonable. I understand if you're too weakened from all the excitement..."

"Now you wait just a minute!"

Zinc tried to keep a straight face. "No, no, Juney! It's all copacetic! You have yourself a little relax. After all, fursons your age do need to rest more frequently."

Junella very nearly blew flames out of her ears.


***


It was breathtaking to watch them run.

Toby was spectating out the side window while George powered across the canyon. Junella and Zinc were bounding ahead of them at a steady pace. The carrot-colored pillars sprang up perfectly beneath their feet, fast as bullets. Toby had no idea how they worked or why. He wondered who had discovered them, and was able to guess how that first encounter had gone. Piffle was zipping along behind the racing pair, humming an energetic melody to spur them on.

Zinc's strategy seemed to center on distraction while Junella was pure focus. The canine joked with Piffle along the way, laughing, singing; whatever he could to keep his mind too busy to think about what he was doing. He wanted his feet on autopilot and his brain engaged elsewhere. Whereas Junella kept her movements robot-rigid and her gaze locked on-target. Her eyes looked like painted marbles. While Zinc was trying to win through a separation of mind and body, Junella's mind was a taskmaster with a whip, forcing her vinyl to perform to perfection.

Toby found himself wondering what was happening beneath the Fearsleigher. When one is thousands of miles high, one takes an interest in what is holding themselves up. He leaned out of his seat as far as he dared, but the skate blade was blocking his view. Finally, he asked George what he could see up front.

"Nerve-wracking, Sire Toby!" the stallion replied. "Two lanes of stone appear beneath my tires and vanish the instant I'm off them. They blur, but I believe the pillars are laid out very closely together in a hexagonal pattern. For efficiency, no doubt. I much prefer driving on a surface that I am certain exists before I set hoof upon it."

Toby gazed ahead. With the wind whipping at his nose, it was more noticeable how much the air up here really did stink. Like a spice rack overrun with rot. Maybe the clouds were made of something other than water vapor. 'There's a thought that'll do nothing but give me stress.'

Meanwhile, Zinc could feel his lungs starting to burn. He was drinking down air in open-mouthed chugs, but his lungs were still hungry. He looked ahead through the clouds. He thought he could see a darker place, but whether it was land or an illusion was unknown.

"Hey Juney, how you holdin' up?" he asked. He tried to sound casual, but there was a wheeze to his voice.

She did not waste momentum on speaking. She merely turned her head and gave him a small, sharp nod. Her movements were still those of a tireless machine. Inside her mind though, she felt like she was barely holding herself together by strings and rubber bands. This race was a dumbass idea. It was not the breezy blow-off activity she'd expected when they'd started. Her only strength right now was that she had a better poker face than Zinc. She told her legs that they'd damn well better keep going unless they wanted to be ferried to shore by Piffle, who'd be singing the entire time. That thought coaxed a bit more cooperation out of them.

Zinc had been sure it was just his mind giving him false hope, but no. That dark patch ahead wasn't disappearing. Hard rock at last! He cautioned himself about getting too happy. It wouldn't matter how close the finish line was if he got overeager and missed a step.

But then he saw movement within the dark patch.

He blinked, trying to make it be a trick of the eye.

No. Something was definitely walking back and forth in there. Something tall and stoop-shouldered.

"Junella..." He was too winded for more than a hoarse whisper.

This new development complicated things. Although really, there was only one thing to do. Zinc knew his partner would call him a cheater for this, but oh well.

Junella noticed Zinc swinging his wrenches back and forth now. Big, apelike lunges to hurl his weight forward faster. 'Trying that trick on me? Oh you mutt...'

Zinc could see the shape in growing clarity as he drew closer. Junella hadn't noticed it, her focus was still on winning. Zinc shoved his strength into his arms. Back... and FORTH, back... and FORTH. When he thought his rhythm was dead-on, he kicked forward in a long jump and swung his wrenches in a circle, pounding himself forward through the air.

Piffle gasped and zoomed after him.

For just a moment, Zinc was flying. He looked below, saw nothing to catch him, and found the strength to cycle his wrenches around one more time. It was just enough of a kick. His feet skidded onto sand at an awkward, painful angle, but his toeclaws held.

The shape's head jerked towards the sound.

Zinc rolled with his momentum. As soon as his stance was solid, he held his wrenches out to the sides, signaling danger to everyone behind him.

A second later, Piffle bumped into his steel barrier. "What's..."

"Shhhhh," Zinc said immediately.

The clouds stopped right at the edge of the rock like a misty wall. Breaking through, the thing that had caused the urgency in Zinc's voice was now revealed. Once Piffle saw it, she had no problem obeying his order.

Pissed as a polecat could be, Junella arrived in second place. She was just about to start cussin', but her anger was immediately jettisoned by the sight of the creature before her. 'Twelve hopping fucks,' she thought. Her hand sought her cutlass reflexively.

Zinc shook his head at her, expression saying, 'Not yet.'

The situation had suddenly turned very bad for George. He could see three of his passengers standing still just ahead, and he was barreling towards them, nailplow-first. Something very messy was about to happen unless he took drastic action.

"Hold tight!" he called to his passengers, and took a big risk.

Hoping the pillars would remain in place beneath him, he hurled his entire weight sideways. His wheels slid like ice, but retained momentum, and whatever force guided the rock pillars seemed to count this as fair. So instead of falling, he drifted. And instead of crashing into ZP&J with a wedge of spiky death, he skidded in flank-first. The skate-blade swooped inches above the trio's heads and swatted off Piffle's hat.

George could barely believe he'd done that. Two of his tires were on solid ground. The others jutted halfway past the cliff's sheer edge, dirt trickling out from beneath. And no one had died! He allowed himself a moment of pride.

Toby went from amazed to terror-stricken in exactly as long as it took for his eyes to travel from the skate blade to the unspeakably ugly beast standing mere feet away from it.

It seemed stunned, confused. That was very good because it bought Zinc precious time. Normally these things pounced at the first sound of footsteps. But there had been three sets, and it was not sure which to devour first, and then a very loud thing happened that scrambled its primitive mind completely.

It was a biteranodon. Their first encounter with one had been as an entree on Piffle's plate. Now they were seeing one in the flesh.

Six feet tall at the shoulder. Eight, if you counted the head. It covered itself in a trenchcoat of its own folded wings. Battered, matted, flaking things that looked like shedding leather dipped in crude oil. Its feet were enormous Xs, covered in hard scales and curled talons. Its head was the crescendo of its horror, for its name was a descriptive double pun.

Picture the distinctly elongated, triangular head of a prehistoric pterosaur: the scissor-like beak with its tiny, hooked teeth. Now imagine a mirror placed across this image horizontally, creating a center jaw with teeth above and below. Three pieces in total. Like the bowl, seat, and lid of a toilet. Two tongues, two throats, uncountable teeth.

Such a configuration left no room for anything but mouth. The thing had no eyes, just two round dents in its bald, buzzardish head where they might have been on a saner creature. It swung its head back and forth on its desk-lamp neck, listening at the place where it had moments ago heard prey.

It stank. This was where the smell was coming from. Toby had smelt this hideous bird from all the way over on the plateau. Like hot garbage left at the curb for a week. Like a dumpsterload of expired meat. Toby did not need to be told to keep still, or recognize the way the blind beast searched for them with its ears. Its stench alone was enough to gag him silent.

Junella, Zinc and Piffle had all gotten the wind knocked out of them by George, but had suffered nothing worse than bruises and dirt smears. They watched the nightmare bird. It shuffled from foot to foot, its mouths opening and closing, exhaling hot gas so vile it was visible.

The biteranodon made a series of 'cuk cuk cuk' sounds, like radar pings.

Barely a whisper, Zinc said to Piffle, "In hindsight, I probly shoulda warned you about the local wildlife."

Gaze fixed ahead, she nodded. And then the hamsterfly remembered the clothes she was wearing. What her role in this expedition was. Moving as silently as she could, she stood up.

Zinc reached out to stop her, but she was already padding towards the thing. Nothing he could do now but follow her lead.

Junella mouthed the words, 'What the fuck is she doing? Trying to make it her pet!?'

Keeping her eyes on the beast, Piffle picked up her left foot with utmost care, placed it without a sound, then picked up the other one. Her breathing sounded as loud as an accordion to her, with her heart an accompanying tympani.

"Hey there, Mr. Parakeet," she said shakily.

Its double-jaws snapped at the sound. It took a step forward. It swiveled its skull back and forth, waiting for her to speak again so it could triangulate her.

Sweat was swimming down Piffle's forehead. The biteranodon loomed, much taller than her. She could only imagine what it concealed beneath those wings. She wondered which mouth would start eating her first if she messed this up.

She looked in all directions, thanking luck for her multifaceted eyes.

When the others were ready, she spoke again. "I'm right here."

Her first sound had sent the creature into high alert. Its nerves were taut as violin strings. At this second sound, it lunged forward like a cobra, both mouths open.

Piffle saw three silver flashes in her peripheral vision. Then blood was pouring down onto the rock at her feet.

Zinc and Junella had positioned themselves just behind Piffle's shoulders. When the biteranodon's head shot forward to clamp down on its prey, Zinc had swung both of his wrenches in a double arc to pulp its skull between them. In almost the same instant, Junella's cutlass had opened its throat, just to be sure. Congealed blood, thick with tumorous chunks, spilled out like a toxic faucet.

Piffle backed up, Zinc let go, and the dead thing fell forwards to smack wetly against the rock.

Zinc took in a very long, deep breath. "That... was not a parakeet."

"You said it, brother!" Piffle agreed, trembling. She wiped her feet on the dirt, backing away from the blood.

Junella watched the creature for a moment more. It spasmed once, but that was just a death twitch. When she was sure it was fully dealt with, she turned around towards the Fearsleigher, beckoning everyone closer.

George was more than happy to scoot away from the precipice's edge. He opened his door for Toby to emerge.

The mouse hopped down carrying Doll. His eyes were still glued to the dead dinosaur-thing. He was stunned by the speed Zinc and Junella had shown, and ashamed he'd done nothing to help. Though, was there anything he could have done besides keep quiet?

Junella waited for their attention. "Biteranodon," she sang in a teacher's voice. "Smelly. Ugly. Hungry. If you look up you will see lots of them. They're blind as baseball bats and just as stupid, but as you can guess, they hunt by sound. They don't usually enter the clouds because it's like acid on their skin. From here until we get to Fistula, we will stay in the car, and we will keep our voices down. We had to kill this one quick because even a single squawk will bring the rest of them down in the nastiest family reunion picnic you've ever seen. Comprendo, muchachos?"

Toby nodded forcefully.

"Not to scare you too much," she added as she sheathed her sword. "They're easier to kill than pickin' dandelions. But there's a lot of them. I don't exactly relish the thought of having their stink on me all afternoon."

Just to keep the dead one from regenerating, Zinc scooped his wrenches underneath and bulldozed it over the edge of the rock pillar. They heard it clunk against the side a few times as it fell, but the dull sound was no louder than Junella's song.

Toby looked up at the sky. He understood Junella mistaking Kartagener for this place. As thick as the sky had been with airliners there, here there were just as many biteranodons. They made lazy circles in the cloudless air, ears pointed towards the ground, listening.

Zinc gave Piffle a boost onto the skate blade. She pulled him up afterwards. "You make great bait, Kate," he whispered.

"And you're pretty quick on the draw... I-Can't-Think-Of-A-Rhyme-For-That." She giggled and gave him a peck on the cheek.

He paused. For the first time he began to realize that maybe this had gone beyond play-flirting.

'Would I mind that?'

Junella jumped up and collapsed in the driver's seat. She could feel her calves pulsing angrily. First the race had drained her, then that bird had put her on nerve's edge. She felt like an empty gas can.

Zinc leaned in through the window. "Y'know, I did win the race."

"By cheating," she pointed out.

"That's a matter of opinion. But even though the bet's off, could we possibly say that winners get to drive for the next little while?" he pleaded sweetly.

Her stare could have been packaged as pesticide.

"C'mon, Junebug! I knocked over a mall for us!"

She stonewalled a moment, then considered that a passenger seat was a place she could relax. "Awright."

'Tee-hee'-ing, Zinc took her place. He tried to conceal how tired he was too.

"You're gonna bring up that mall thing in every argument we have now for the rest of our lives, aren't you?"

"You betcher fur."

Once all his doors were shut and he could feel his passengers safely accounted for, George whispered, "Do we have a direction from here?"

"Pick one," the canine replied. "No matter where you go it's like a funnel. It all ends up in one place..." He grimaced just thinking about it. "We've got a nickname for it: Hell's Arse."

"Oh, it ain't that bad," Junella groused. "Least it's quick."

"My arms melt every time we go in there!!"

"So do I, but you don't hear me bellyachin'!"

"You're not made of metal! Stuff is painful!"

"And wax ain't!?"

Toby got the impression he might want to put on some sunscreen before they arrived.




-***-

Chapter Fifty-Seven


Windows up. Doors locked. Everyone quiet.

Now that the clouds were behind them, everyone could see they way forward. It was not a pretty sight. Drifting mist still clung to the air, but through it could be glimpsed dozens more skyscraping rock towers, all interconnected via a spider's web of rope bridges. Each bridge looked ratty, narrow, and fully exposed to attacks from above. George made careful calculations before tiptoeing onto the first one, making absolutely certain the skate blades would have clearance and not shear the linchposts off.

Toby watched the bridge sway with the wind. It was so very easy to imagine it snapping under George's weight. And how much did George weigh? With five passengers inside him?

As if that wasn't enough of a worry, Toby became aware of something else. Bird droppings. Decades' worth. Greenish splats covered every inch of the pillars and bridges. Toby had never been more glad to be sealed behind glass. He could practically see the germs swimming around out there, just itching to crawl up the tires and march right into his mouth.

George's keen eyes scanned the horizon. He began to understand what Zinc had told him about how their choice of route didn't matter. From his current position there were several branching paths, but further away there were fewer and fewer. All routes converged to one point beyond his sight. A place Zinc had implied would be overbearing in temperature.

No one inside spoke a word. They were glued to the windows, unable to stop themselves from staring down. Even though Junella and Zinc had been through here before, it was impossible not to worry if today would be the day these old ropes finally gave up.

George was cautious in testing each bridge before setting tread upon them. He'd give the first few rungs a violent bounce with a front tire, feeling for any strain or looseness. Most seemed decently sturdy. He wouldn't have been confident tearing across them at top speed, but at a moderate pace he felt reassured enough. Though one time his test made the whole thing unravel in an instant. George watched the remains of the bridge swing down and away into the mist. Gone. 'Thank goodness there are four more to choose from.'

This was a shorter bridge, currently. Only twenty-three feet. Some of the ones he'd seen ahead connected far more impressive spans. The wind at this height was not inconsiderable, so he took his time crossing. He was very glad for his skate blades: they functioned like a tightrope walker's pole, keeping his center of gravity where it belonged. Relieved sighs came from his passengers whenever they felt solid rock beneath them.

Not for long though. This plateau was puny. Only two bridges led away from it. George picked the left one, tested it, then headed across.

Toby didn't want to stare outside and think about plummeting, but his brain was being morbidly curious. Dread turned to disgust when he got a closer look at what the bridge's ropes were made of.

He remembered his bathroom at home. The shower. The monstrous tangles of fur that his mother would pull from the drains when they clogged. And it didn't matter what color fur went in: the clogs always came out the same sludgy black.

That kind of brackish, begrimed hair was exactly what the ropes were woven from. Grimy, tainted hair, accessorized with wads of crud. Oh lord, he could feel that hair just by looking at it. His sadistic imagination pictured him being forced to walk across it in bare feet. Squishing with every step.

Toby physically grabbed his head and turned it away from the window. The revulsion had been hypnotic. He needed something to knock the imagined texture out of his mind. "Someone give me something else to think about so I don't get sick!"

Junella made a 'keep it down' gesture.

"Sorry!" he squeaked. "I just saw all that hair and..." He gagged.

Junella was sympathetic, but snickered anyway. She ran her hands along her smooth curves. "Thankfully, hair clogs are not something I have to worry about." She turned her head to Zinc. "...Unless HE gets in the shower before me," she said pointedly.

"Poor baby. Gotta deal with my shedding? Try the circus act of having to lather up using only your feet," he shot back.

Toby wondered about that for a second, then pictured the utter catastrophe of Zinc trying to maneuver his wrenches around inside a shower. There'd be broken tile and shampoo everywhere. That image distracted him from his disgust enough for a laugh to pop out.

Zinc was glad to see he'd lifted the mouse's mood. He reached below his seat and found a lever. The whole thing rotated ninety degrees so he could address the back seat more easily.

Junella blinked. "They can do that?" She started fiddling around under her seat and was rather delighted when she found the lever. She only wished Zinc had told her about this earlier. No more stiff neck!

Toby liked the swivel-seat idea too. If they'd had a little table, they could have set up a card game between them.

"We're not gonna make the ropes any stronger by worryin' at 'em, so let's pass the time with some shit-shooting. For starters..." he rubbed his neck, "sorry about my unprofessional conduct back there. I should've warned you two about the birds before I went runnin' off."

Piffle whisked her paw. "Water under the bridge. I forget stuff all the time." She remembered wanting to play with Doll's hair and now was a perfect time for it. She asked her plastic pal if it was allright and received an enthusiastic nod. Soon Doll was unbagged and immobile, but enjoying the feel of Piffle's fingers on her scalp.

Toby nodded. "I'm not mad either, Zinc. You've forgiven a lot of my screwups, and honestly, we just went through a horror highway and an airplane barrage. I can understand why you and Junella wanted to blow off steam. If this place didn't smell so bad, I'd be tempted to get out and stretch my legs too."

Zinc nodded appreciatively. "Allright, I just hadda get it off my chest. It was unbecoming of a bodyguard-slash-tour-guide-slash-mayhem-artisté such as myself."

Toby laughed. He was glad they all were talking now. It was a heck of a lot better than just staring out the windows and fending off acrophobia. Another topic came to mind. "Hey. Um. I was curious. When I go home, what do you guys think you'll do afterwards?"

Piffle's antennae poked up. "I hadn't thought of that."

"I have," said Zinc. He reached in his jacket pocket for a blackened rag and started buffing his wrenches with it. "The way I see it, assuming we get back down the mountain in one piece, we're gonna be hot shit supreme for having been there. Might even get on TV. It'll be good for business, that's for sure. I'm hopin' we can get enough imaginite pouring in, I can finally start work on my dream car."

"You've been talking about it long enough," Junella needled.

He laughed because she was right. "Everything I've built so far's been all about function. I wanna do something with form." He gestured like a woman's curves. "I want red paint, and so much chrome you could die. I want lines like ocean waves. Two big round 'hello sailor' headlights. Six axles! An engine that purrs like a cheetah! Huge fuckin'-"

A playful kick from Junella cut him off.

"Heh. Started workin' myself up a bit there."

"You don't dream big enough, partner." Junella leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms behind her head. She looked past the ceiling to imaginary clouds. "We've done a lot together, and we've built a lot. But you've never made me something that flies."

"I didn't know you wanted one," he said, sounding interested in the prospect.

"I dunno where the idea came from. It's recent. Maybe I dreamed it, but... I got this image in my head of the Jennie-Mae, remastered. What if we fixed her up new? Gave her some lift?"

Visions of a flying pirate ship floated through everyone's minds. They all had to admit it was a pretty damn cool idea.

"Spose it's possible..." Zinc muttered, already considering propulsion, aerodynamics and armaments. Once upon a time, their ship had sailed. Just a few feet of hover, but it was enough to get them place to place. Then an encounter with a wormhole and a raincloud had ended all that. He'd been meaning for the longest time to fix her back up, but there was always something else that needed his attention.

"Possible or not, it's fun to think about," Junella sang languidly. "Maybe we could get George to power it somehow."

From up front, George's trying-not-to-sound-too-excited voice responded, "You know I enjoy flying."

She liked that he was on board with the idea so quickly. It was pure fantasy, she knew. But if they were just throwing out wishes, why not? She glanced over at Piffle. "So then, shortcake, what about you?"

The hamsterfly replied straightaway, not even looking up from Doll's hair. "I'm gonna marry Zinc and settle down in a little cottage by the lake."

Zinc did not have any liquid in his mouth with which to do a spit-take, but he improvised.

Piffle put her paws over her mouth to keep her laugh quiet. "I'm just teasin'!"

"Whew! Nearly had a heart attack there. No offense intended, but I don't see myself as the ball-and-chain type." He blinked. "Plus, yeesh! Would our kids ever be ugleee!"

Piffle giggled again. "Actually, I was-"

The car came to a sudden stop.

Everyone looked up and around for danger. But George wasn't sounding an alarm, so they eased back into their seats and relaxed.

Piffle's gaze was still fixed out the window, just in case. "I forgot what I was gonna say..." She noticed her hand was still resting atop Doll's curly locks. "What about you then? Do you have any plans after we reach the mountain?"

Doll couldn't answer, since she was currently being seen. So Piffle placed the little writing pad in her hands and covered her up with the bag again. The car was quiet enough to hear the scratch of pencil on paper.

Finally, Doll poked Piffle and she felt a folded sheet pass into her palm.

"Izzit okay if I read it out loud?" Piffle asked.

Doll nodded.

"Okeydoke." Piffle inhaled and began to read with a smile, but that quickly evaporated as she heard what she was saying.

"I wAnT To Be A womAn AGAIn. I wANT To Be seeN. I wAnT To wALK oN NoRmAL LegS uP To THe man wHo LocKeD ME IN THIs BoDY & SpIT IN HIs fAcE. I wAnT To Be ALIve."

There were tears at the edges of Piffle's eyes when she finished. She leaned over Doll and cradled her gently, kissing the top of her head, unable to say another word.

Everyone felt a shift in their attitude towards their plastic companion.

It was easy to think of her as a prop, a toy, a mascot. But there was a truer word for what she was: handicapped. Though her current form was a miniature mix of cute and grotesque, none of them really had any idea what she was inside. She was like a quadriplegic. Unable to move without special equipment. Unable to speak. Her silence made her seem less real than everyone else.

Piffle felt sudden, intense guilt over treating Doll like a baby. Speaking to her in a cutesy tone, playing with her hair. As respectfully as she could, she lifted Doll from her lap and placed her at her side as an equal.

The burlap bag rustled. Soon another reply was pushed out.

"YOu meAnT nO DISReSPecT."

"I do care about you very much," Piffle said, nodding. "I'm sorry if I forget sometimes you're not really a doll. Maternal instincts, I guess. I can't wait until you're whole and real again and we can talk together and I can hear your voice. I'm sure it's pretty."

Doll reached out a burlap-covered hand to gently touch Piffle's thigh.

The hamsterfly smiled warmly and put her furred paw atop it. Then something moved in her peripheral vision.

She turned her head and froze.

Her voice was hoarse and quiet. "Oh Toby... you really don't wanna look out your window right now."

Zinc's attention had been on Doll. Now he looked to Piffle, then at the side window. He found it difficult to believe he hadn't seen the shadow crawling across the interior.

It was standing on the skate blade, listening to them.

The biteranodon had been hanging asleep below the rope bridge. Hours ago it had dived beneath the mist for a chance at consuming one of the rabbitlike constructs that roosted in the rocks. Now, with a full belly and too much cowardice to fly back up through the stinging fog, it had been waiting for more food to come along. Lo and behold, it had.

Everyone in the car did their best impressions of mannequins.

George was in a panic. Shame and dread overwhelmed him. He had stopped cold when he'd heard the rustle of greasy feathers beneath his wheels, then felt the odious thing's touch upon him as it walked up from underneath the bridge. There wasn't a single thing he could do to stop it. And how could he give any warning to his passengers? He contemplated taking over the gatling gun again to blast it to shreds, but a noise like that would bring down all the others. He was between the devil and the deep blue sea.

The only motion inside the Fearsleigher was four pairs of eyes looking back and forth amongst themselves.

Barely moving her mouth, Piffle said, very quietly, "Maybe it will go away."

But that was unlikely. It had heard their voices already. That meant the big wheely box had food in it. The sounds had stopped, but biteranodons are not quite so stupid as to think that an absence of sound means prey has vanished. The construct's head swung back and forth like a pendulum. It lifted one foot and scraped the talons across the window, listening for meatsounds of panic.

Toby did not make any, but holy hell did he want to. The nightmare's face was less than a foot away from his. The sunken, eyeless pits. Those tiny, yellowed teeth in agonizing detail. The biteranodon's rank breath began to fog the window. Toby watched its upper and lower mouths opening and closing like a double metronome.

Junella looked tired already. Her needles skimmed delicately across her grooves. "I actually thought we were gonna get all the way across this time without having to go through the goddam duck hunt routine."

"We've never made it this far," Zinc said through gritted teeth.

Junella exploded as quietly as possible, "IT'D BE NICE FOR ONCE."

Slowly, slowly, slowly, Toby was extending his hand. He was opening his palm. He was feeling his hammer inside, nestled between his radius and ulna, readying it to come out.

The bird's head passed back and forth with an unreadable expression. It tried to bite through the glass but gained no mouthful of meat. It took a step back, looking vexed.

Everyone hoped with all their heart this meant it was about to give up and fly away.

Actually, it had run out of patience.

"REEEEEAAAAAWWUUUK!!!"

It reared back and slammed its head through the window, scattering sparkling shards like raindrops.

Everyone screamed.

It was over so fast that, afterwards, Toby couldn't even describe what he'd done.

When the glass exploded, he was already itching to deploy his hammer. When the ghastly bird came ramming through like a linebacker, Toby's hand shot forward to block. Pure reflex. His palm touched its dome. There was a sound like a gunshot.

The biteranodon's head ceased to exist.

Toby shrieked and bounded over Piffle. Aerosolized bird meat now painted the car's interior. The nightmare's body went limp and physics took over. Without a brain to hold it up, gravity took hold of the stinking corpse and yanked it right out the window, past the blade, then down, down, down over the side of the bridge.

For a moment, everyone was dead quiet except for the piston-thumping of their hearts.

Junella's jaw was in her lap. "WHAT THE PISSING SHIT DID YOU JUST DO, TOBY!?"

Toby was unaware he was still crab-walking over Doll and Piffle's laps. He just wanted as much distance between himself and that gore-soaked broken window as possible. "I HAVE NO IDEA!!!"

With Toby's hand squashing her face, Piffle hiccuped and blurted rapidly, "After Anasarca I was gonna move my mom and me into a nice house in Coryza and maybe get a job as a nurse!!!"

Everyone looked at her.

Zinc blinked. "Well that's very nice but..." He looked up through the window and saw exactly what he expected to see. "...we got incoming."

The biteranodons above had definitely heard the hullabaloo below. The flock was coalescing into a swarm. Their circling sped up, tighter and tighter. They began to descend from the top of the sky like the emerging tail of a tornado.

Toby became aware he was squashing his two friends. He jumped off, looking frenzied and helpless. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Oh my God, I alerted the birds, didn't I!? I made them come! I'm so sor-"

Junella slapped him, lightly. She grabbed his chin with one hand and sang at him double-speed with the other. "Not your fault. Shit happens. Cry later, action now."

He sucked in a deep breath. "Thank you."

A curt nod. Then Junella swung her chair back into position so the others wouldn't see the micro-burst of frustrated rage that passed over her features. Sometimes you just wanna relax and drive, and fate sends nightmare birds up your ass. She strategized for a second, then whipped back around towards Zinc.

Before her needle could touch a groove, he anticipated her orders.  "Me. Roof. Gun."

"Exactly," she sang with relief, glad he was so dependable.

Just as Zinc was stepping outside, Piffle sat straight up, electrified with purpose. "I'll help too!" she shouted, then whooshed out the door.

Junella had been about to hand her a weapon, and instead gawked after her in disbelief.

Zinc watched her zoom through the air towards the swarm. "Where the flyin' fuck are you flyin' to!?"

Piffle didn't hear him. The wind was already drumming in her ears and slicking her antennae back. Her wings blasted her towards the top of the sky, one fist held out in front of her, feeling an imaginary red cape flapping at her back. Her muzzle was set in a grim little smile. She was gonna teach these overgrown budgies it was impolite to scare her friends.

The swarm could not believe their luck. The smell of fresh meat was climbing right up to meet them! Beaks popped open, releasing screams of hunger. Biteranodons by nature are terrible hunters. On Earth their stupidity would have doomed them to extinction in a few generations, but Phobiopolis cultivated their desperation, keeping them on the brink of starvation to ensure berserker feeding frenzies.

Piffle knew none of this. She powered towards her enemy, fueled by the boundless will that had seen her through countless other perils. A sky full of gaping, serrated mouths bore down upon her, and she was unafraid.

When one bird was finally close enough, Piffle spun like a drill and punched it sideways, grunting with the impact. Then she turned to knock another out of the air. But more came. And the biting started. Piffle screamed.

Biteranodons can clamp down with one mouth and start chewing with the other. Piffle struggled, twisted, punched and kicked, but her overconfidence had sent her into a whirlpool of teeth as surely as flying headlong into a garbage disposal. She watched her beautiful jacket getting shredded to ribbons. She watched her blood trail through the air.

"Thiswasamistake, thiswasamistake, thiswasamistake!" she yelped. "I'm sorry I ate one of you! Leave me alone!!"

Two steel hands clamped down on two brass gun grips.

"Allright pidgies..." Zinc breathed, "...come and get your birdseed."

BBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!!!

Bullets rained upwards into the swarm. The shadowed sky spat back clotted blood as a dozen birds burst. Earsplitting screeches of agony ripped out of the biteranodons as they fell. Piffle felt hope as she watched feathers fill the air. Not all let go of her, but at least one's head was bisected completely from its body.

Two steel balls shot out of Zinc's back, followed by several feet of heavy chain. Engines on his shoulders grunted to life. Before the doorknockers had time to fall, Zinc was whipping them around into a whirl. Twin cyclones on his arms.

He sure as shit wished Piffle had given him some advance warning, but at least she'd bought him a few seconds to get to the roof, get on the gun, and get into a killin' mood. His bared teeth flashed white lightning.

BBBBBRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!

Meanwhile, Toby had been stuck motionless, trying to decide if he should hide or help. He noticed Junella was just about to join Zinc in some target shooting. He lunged for her, grabbing her arm. "What can I do!?"

He'd asked instead of darting off like Piffle. She liked that. Junella looked the mouse up and down, cross-referencing him with the supplies behind the backseat. She briefly pictured him trying to wield one of the army surplus rifles she'd bought, and that beggared belief. She spotted his hip pouch. "Had any practice with those yet?"

Toby patted the pouch, thinking about how dinky the knives and shurikens inside were. "Will they do anything against biteranodons?"

She clapped his shoulder. "They've got hollow bones and big ol' wings. How well can a kite fly with a rip in it?"

Good point. Toby nodded acceptance of his mission.

She nodded back, then leapt out onto the skate blade. Her white scarf fluttered behind her like a contrail. "Any of you beaked bastards shits on my head, I will personally return the favor!!" Her willpower filled both hands with revolvers. Fire and lead leapt from their mouths.

Gunfire deafened him. Toby turned and looked through the broken window, seeing the sky darken with even more incoming biteranodons. How many of them were there!? He flipped open his pouch and dug inside, trying not to prick his fingers.

A tug on his leg. He looked down to see Doll, re-bagged, asking wordlessly how she could help.

Toby tipped his muzzle towards the backseat. "Same as before I guess!" he shouted above the sound of screeches and shots. "Find me anything I can throw!"

She saluted and began searching.

Meanwhile, George realized that no one was listening to his apologies for letting that rotten bird get so close in the first place. They were all booming away like crazy. Which, he considered, was good. Better to take action than dwell on the past. That went for him too, so he fixed his sights forward, daring to increase their speed across the bridge as much as the swaying would allow.

He estimated they were halfway to their destination. The pyramid-shaped layout of bridges and pillars was narrowing towards its apex. Looking ahead, he could see that soon enough all routes would converge onto one last choice. From there the rock towers aligned in a row like stepping stones, leading to a place where the last bridge stretched across empty air into a flaming zero. A tear in the sky that spat bright sparks into this half of reality. George's nerves were on edge as he came to another bridge and tested its strength, trying to balance haste with thoroughness.

'I am officially insane,' Toby thought. The wind pelted his face and sucked the breath from his lungs. He stood in the doorway, trying to force himself to step out and join the battle.

'Stop being such a fraidy cat! You already did this before on the highway!'

'Yes, but now I'm miles off the ground, held up by nothing but old hair!'

'And before you were going at freeway speeds across concrete.'

Fine. He couldn't argue with that. He felt slippery metal beneath his sandals as he stepped onto the skate blade. He kept one hand glued to the door frame while re-thanking Zinc for the seatbelt winch. He looked up. Dread punched him in the stomach. There had to be millions of biteranodons up there. A tidal wave of oily flapping wings and trap jaws. All the bullets in the world couldn't hope to make a dent in their numbers!

'NO,' he thought, physically pinching himself. He looked again. Between Zinc and Junella's guns, a heck of a lot of them were already plunging limply towards the ground. Piffle was circling like a ceiling fan, keeping them distracted. 'This is not hopeless, and you are going to help your friends right now.'

Keeping his eyes skyward, his hand went to his pouch and he threw the first thing he touched. A miss. 'Doesn't matter. Try again.' He did. He plucked a silver star and let his arm uncurl towards the closest nightmare. He held his breath.

A miracle happened. The shuriken ripped right through its wing like cutting paper, and the biteranodon screamed. It tumbled and flapped desperately, but all it accomplished was smashing into another of its kind. Both fell out of the sky.

Toby's eyes were wide as headlights. 'I just did that. I actually just...'

A disbelieving grin came to his face and he started flinging metal as fast as he could fill his hand.

Piffle was a pink comet. She'd learned her lesson trying to take them on directly. Now she was doing her best to out-fly the stinky chickens, leading them on a back-and-forth figure eight around the car. Anything to keep their attention on her and away from the others. She winced at the pain from all of the bites, but kept on flying. Zinc's hail of bullets followed her like a horse and cart.

The canine followed her flightpath, amazed by her determination and her trust in his aim. He moved his bullets smoothly like a finger through the sky. Tracing after her, hoping a sudden turn wouldn't put her in his line of fire.

George thought about diesel trains and tanks. He kept the Fearsleigher inching forward, but having to hold back his speed was driving him insane. He was keenly aware of every last knot and fray in the ropes beneath his wheels, always searching for instability. A lone biteranodon got past the barrage and dove straight towards him. He welcomed the chance to vent his frustrations. Opening his mouth, he unleashed a furnace-blast at the unfortunate construct. It screamed from both mouths as it fell towards the canyon, wrapped in hellfire.

Junella did a beautiful little tuck-and-roll as the last bird she'd blasted was inconsiderate enough to fall straight down and smack into the spot she'd been standing in. She hit the side of the car, shoved off, and got back into position. She threw her guns away and was pulling the triggers on two new ones, all in one breath.

Toby watched with envy. He'd nicked a few so far, but nowhere near as many as Zinc and Junella. 'It's not a contest,' he reminded himself. 'Start feeling sorry for yourself and your aim'll screw up. Think of it this way: every one you kill is one less your friends have to deal with.' That did help. He didn't have to be the ultimate hero. This was a team effort. He reached back and felt something new slap into his hand. He glanced back. Doll had found some bigger knives for him. "Thanks!" He swung the blade to test the weight, then sent it sailing towards another bird. The biteranodon's chest opened up like unzipping a coat. Toby yelped in celebration, but then had to duck falling giblets.

All six of them were doing their part, but Zinc was racking up the most kills. Between his bullets and his shoulder-balls, he'd performed radical surgery on nearly sixty birds so far. He was absolutely drenched in gore. It tasted like engine lubricant and raw turkey. Not bad.

One particularly skilled biteranodon was able to accomplish a sideways swoop that carried it low across the battlefield, straight at the meat creature covered in metal. Its back was turned. Perfect target.

Zinc brayed in shock as its talons tore through his jacket and into his shoulders.

The pain made him see stars, but in a heartbeat his madman's grin returned. "Congratulations, shitbird. You win the idiot award."

Zinc retracted his doorknockers.

They were engineered by Dorster & Son to melt harmlessly through fur, flesh, and clothing. This did not include whatever happened to be in the way when this feature was triggered. So the biteranodon let out a very surprised shriek when Zinc became an egg slicer. Two heavy chains slashed laterally through its body, shearing its wings and spilling its guts.

Zinc cackled sadistically as the nightmare's screaming remains sloughed off like wet bags of tripe and toppled into the chasm below.

"THE GRIM REAPER BEGS FOR MY AUTOGRAPH!!!"

George could feel Zinc's latest kill add its blood to the veritable topcoat of birdsludge he was now wearing. 'I fear I will never be clean again,' he thought with disgust.

When her eyes weren't on the sky, Junella spared some glances towards Toby and realized the mouse actually had a decent arm on him. She decided to reward him. Ducking back through the door, she called out, "Doll! In the glovebox there's some round, white, egg-lookin' things! Get two and give 'em to Toby!"

Doll was surprised to be addressed like a normal furson. She saluted and skittered across the car.

Toby had overheard. "What are they?" he shouted.

"You'll see! Just give one a squeeze and throw it towards the biggest cluster of birds! And..." Her sentence was cut off when another biteranodon dived towards her. A bullet through its ribs made it reconsider. "...And be careful! They're expensive!!" She'd really wanted to save the little whizzers for a special occasion, but right now, getting their asses to safety was good enough.

Soon Doll had slipped two intricate ivory ovals into Toby's hand. 'Huh. Fancy.' They looked more like jewelry than weaponry, but he knew appearances were not to be trusted in Phobiopolis. He looked up towards the swarm, scanning. He squeezed one egg and pitched it high.

Then his heart caught in his throat as he realized Piffle was zipping right towards it. He tried to scream to warn her.

As it turned out, he didn't have to. She saw something that looked like a ping pong ball coming up to say howdy, and then she was blinded by fireworks.

Toby leapt back by reflex when the little ball unleashed a lightning storm. Sizzling blue arcs of electricity hit every biteranodon close by, then jumped from one to the next in a chain. The energy sought out nightmare flesh like a magnet. Toby saw the constructs' chests swell up like microwaved hot dogs. They screamed shrilly as smoke poured out of their burning bodies. Then they all started exploding. Also like microwaved hot dogs.

Piffle was right in the middle of the lightshow and felt the energy touch her, but it produced no more than a pleasant tickle. Whatever had just happened, souls were immune to its effects.

Toby clutched the Fearsleigher's frame in disbelief as he watched twenty-eight charred corpses come tumbling out of the sky like a hail of chicken nuggets. He reached down to tuck the remaining egg safely in his vest pocket. If these things could do that, he would not let his next throw go to waste!

"Fun toy, huh!?" Junella called out to him.

The mouse watched dead birds smack with splattering crunches into all the surrounding pillars. "Don't know if I'd call it fun. But effective? Holy shit, yes!"

It was a valiant fight from everyone. Piffle was rattled by the lightning but kept on directing the swarm's attention in her back-and-forth loop. Doll dashed back and forth like a short order cook, finding new things to fling. Toby continued riding his adrenaline, hurling sharp things skyward as soon as his pouch reloaded or Doll restocked him. Junella's guns were small but her nerves were ice and her aim was godly. George was the envy of any dragon with his flamethrower nose. And Zinc was simply a merciless natural disaster wrapped in fur and streaked with blood.

It was a valiant fight, but a doomed one.

No matter how many geese they cooked, reinforcements were always inbound. They dived without heed towards the blazing guns, driven mad by the possibility of fresh meat sliding down their throats. Death was merely a speed bump to them. The canyon floor was so far below, a few birds resurrected mid-fall. Some were so disoriented they met a second death on the hard ground below. Others managed to get their wings outstretched to shoot back upwards and rejoin the chaos.

The travelers' goal was not to depopulate the area, only to get away. The flaming portal was within George's sight, but he couldn't move any faster towards it. The bridge beneath him was already swaying too much for comfort.

"OUCH!" he roared.

Furiously offended, George looked below to see beaks and talons holding onto the underside of the bridge he was currently on. One individual had sunk its fangs into his right rear tire. He snarled the ugliest curse he could think of and blasted a flood of fire beneath him. "They are below us as well!!" he shouted to his comrades.

A second later, as the bridge caught fire, George was filled with regret.

They all smelled it. Few things in any universe smell worse than burning hair.

George watched the fire dance along the guideropes, spreading like luminous paint. He could feel the unraveling begin. He looked ahead to the next rock plateau. A perfectly timed surge from his wheels might just get them there before the bridge collapsed.

It was a microscopic fraction of a chance, but there was no reason not to try for it.

"HOLD ON!!!" George shouted.

He clamped his brakes down, then flooded energy into the drive shafts. Release. Friction. Speed.

George dared to laugh as he rocketed across the rope inferno.

SNAP SNAP

'Well, that's the end of that,' he thought with a resigned sigh.


***


The strain from George's peelout had eradicated whatever structural strength the poor bridge had left. The Fearsleigher and all its passengers seemed to float in the burning air for a few moments before gravity's hand closed around them, pulling them straight down at a speed so fierce it nearly knocked them all unconscious.

Toby's stomach smashed against the top of his ribcage. He watched the second egg slip out of his pocket and hover before his eyes, weightless. All he could think was, 'Junella's gonna be mad if I lose that.' He reached out to snatch it and felt a wonderful moment of pride before the reality sank in that he was falling.

Piffle and Junella reacted quickest. Piffle because she was the most used to falling, Junella because she, in her infinite pessimism, had been expecting this all along. The skunk let her current pair of revolvers fall upwards (there were about sixteen of them scattered around her feet that were now dancing through the air like confetti) and used her tail as leverage to lunge towards the open passenger door. She grabbed for the doorframe and sunk her needles in. 'Sorry, George.'

Zinc screamed down, "Juney!! The blue button!!"

She wanted very much to scream back, 'I'm TRYING!', but her hands were occupied with keeping herself from sliding upwards out of the car into empty air.

Just as Toby was beginning to piece together the mystery of why his feet were starting to float away from the car, a bunch of funny black dots popped up all over his vision. Then his brain rolled over and tried to switch off.

Piffle saw Toby's eyes. Zero expression. She changed trajectory in less time than it takes to say so. She swung herself around in a curve to build momentum and tackled the drifting mouse. She did not know his seatbelt would have saved him anyway, she only knew her friend was in trouble.

They somersaulted together into the car. The jolt of hitting his head on the backseat clicked Toby's brain back on. Without conscious thought, he grabbed the fluffy cheeks of his rescuer and crashed his lips into hers.

Piffle sputtered for a few moments, then laughed out loud. "Gee whiz, Toby! That's gratitude!"

He laughed nervously. "I c-can't believe I did that..."

"But ya did," she said, and nuzzled noses with him. Piffle checked around the car for Doll. From inside the storage area, she got a burlap thumbs-up.

Meanwhile, Junella's mouth was forming all sorts of fiery swears her hands couldn't articulate. She clawed and kicked like a wildcat, trying to swim towards the dashboard, casting her eyes back and forth for that goddamn button. She hadn't wanted Zinc to install it. She'd ignored a perfect time to use it on the highway. But now she had no choice. 'Of course fate wouldn't cut me some slack on this.'

Amongst all the other dials and switches, she finally saw the little sapphire circle. She got a death grip on the steering wheel and used her other hand to call out to the others, "HOLD ON TIGHT TO WHATEVER YOU CAN!!! 3...2...1!!!"

Her finger flew like a javelin towards the blue button.

Piffle and Toby felt a double ker-chunk below them.

Toby remembered that sound. It was from when George and the Fearsleigher had merged. Specifically, from when the skate blades had raised up and locked into place. Toby looked past the door and saw that they had extended outwards a few feet and clicked into a mirrored diagonal alignment.

'Like helicopter blades,' he had just enough time to observe.

Then eight Gs picked him up and bashed him against the front seat hard enough to break his nose.

Piffle's wings folded like origami. The gear in the back flattened Doll. Junella watched as the steering wheel caught underneath her arm and bent it in about seven different ways it shouldn't have. Zinc's scream sounded like an unbroken forty-second yodel as the Fearsleigher turned into a buzzsaw below him.

This was the emergency failsafe he'd asked Andy to install. Zinc had purchased a Cyrus Tear especially for it: a substance so volatile you had to be either real smart or real stupid to work with. Zinc's plan was to make use of the flat, wide surface of the extended skates. If the car fell from a great height, it might be possible to spin them, generating enough lift to slow the descent and leave the car in a salvageable state when it touched down.

Of course, there is a reason why helicopters have tail rotors. The Fearsleigher had no tail rotor.

So for the next one hundred and thirteen seconds, the occupants of the Fearsleigher got to experience what it would feel like to be a wadded-up sock in a washing machine powered by jet fuel.

Piffle was only just starting to feel the stinging ache from her mangled wings when the sheer force of the spin pinned her to the ceiling, where her lungs collapsed and she blacked out.

Junella managed to drag herself into the cubbyhole beneath the driver's seat. The gas and brake pedals dug into her like blunt garden spades, but she could handle that. She watched her broken arm flop around like a sweater sleeve. 'If we get through this alive,' she thought, 'I might just walk back to EC, find Andy, and flay him.'

The gatling turret was positioned close to the center of the car, so Zinc was not whipped around so much as upwards. He felt his pants shoot down his legs and fly away. He shut his tin lids tight, trying to hold onto his eyeballs. His ears were long gone. At least his grip on the gun was secure. He'd screwed his wrenches down tight and locked them in place. Now all he had to worry about was whether he was going to be ripped straight off of his own arms.

Poor Toby. He wasn't getting the worst of it, but this sure wasn't Disneyland either. The G-forces felt like he was being squeezed through a printing press. And what could be worse? Seeing that both back doors were still hanging open. Only friction was keeping Piffle from falling out.

She'd saved him, so it was time to repay the favor.

He did not allow himself time to think. Adrenaline was for decision-making now, not reason. The centrifugal force was so intense, pulling himself away from the front seat felt like tearing off his skin with velcro. He realized his arm had been crushed beneath him and he'd broken three fingers. But he still managed to flop towards the unconscious hamsterfly and snare her ankles.

As he pulled her down towards the back storage compartment, two more hands aided him. He did not look back, just in case Doll was unbagged. They struggled Piffle into the little cubbyhole together and squeezed in beside her. Pain still danced along Toby's nerves like thorny lightning, but at least the gravity pressure was slightly less here.

He tilted his head. His neck sounded like Rice Krispies. He saw Doll: dress torn, head half-flattened. He weakly gave her a thumbs-up. Her bag had been swept away so she couldn't reply, but he held her close and waited out the spinning.

George had not regretted merging with the Fearsleigher until now. The world whirled around him, blurring into oranges and blues and greys. He barely knew up from down. But the spin was literally tearing him to pieces. He could feel parts loosening, rivets coming undone, seats shaking, axles shuddering. It was a completely new kind of unpleasantness. As if all his bones were being slowly carved apart in different directions.

But the worst part was that he could feel what was happening to his passengers. Their bodies slammed back and forth inside him. His body was harming them instead of protecting them. It was one thing to know they had been suffering in Amaurosis Fugax, but now he was experiencing it internally. Feeling the consequences of his failure.

George could feel his grille bayonets bending, a sensation like having his teeth pushed down his throat. He could not endure this much longer. He could feel the fluids slapping around inside of him that had once belonged to his poor passengers. This was intolerable. They did not deserve this. George could feel his door hinges tearing. He could not endure this much longer. It was not fair. They should not have to suffer this much. George's hood popped open and was bent immediately in half. He could not endure this much longer. This was not fair. George's skull shattered and bits of his eye sockets sprinkled across the frothing sky. THIS WAS NOT FAIR. HE COULD NOT ENDURE THIS.

THUD



***



The landing was a mercy. Not just because the terrible spinning finally stopped, but because it killed every one of them instantly. Their pain blessedly ceased, replaced by perfect numbness.

The impact sprinkled chunks of car and bits of bodies in a twenty foot radius. Toby, Doll and Piffle were accordioned into one another. Junella looked like a smashed inkpot. There was nothing left of Zinc atop the car but two wrenches with a ribcage dangling between them.

George was now bone again.

His death had reverted the transformation potion. The crash spat out his remaining fragments like watermelon seeds.

Dim flashes of awareness began twinkling through everyone's brains. Sensation returned to limbs. Hearts began to beat again. Lungs took in air.

Zinc's torso was somewhere half a mile down the road, but he resurrected around his wrenches nonetheless, laid out across his loyal, lovely gun. His hands were clamped down so hard, the gun grips looked like bubblegum. "Sorry girl," he coughed out. He looked down and was grateful to see that his pants had reappeared.

Toby heard groaning. He smelled blood. He felt tingling in his extremities. He put all of his functioning neurons to work trying to figure out how to open his eyes. Mission accomplished: a square hole was looking back at him. He and Doll had their arms wrapped protectively around one another.

"Thank you," he was able to say properly this time.

Doll could not respond yet, so he closed his eyes. Then he felt a gentle plastic hand touch his forehead. He nodded.

From beside them came Piffle's muffled voice, "That was the worst merry-go-round I've ever been on."

Junella peeled herself off the floor. She was lying in a slippery pool of her former self's inky innards. She reached up to pull herself loose, then slumped against the front seat and began chuckling soundlessly. Soon she was shaking with helpless sobs of laughter. After living through a hell like that, what else could one possibly do?

Beneath them, the Fearsleigher rumbled. Now that George had been ejected, it followed its programming and began lowering the skate blades to their normal position. Or at least it tried to. The car rose and fell like a fat man trying to stand up from a low seat. It tried to raise the nailplow too, but that had been sheared clean off its mounts.

Toby stretched. On all fours, he slowly eased himself backwards out of the crawlspace. Daylight trickled in through the open, leaning doors.

Junella reached up and dug her claws into the upholstery. Grunting from the strain, she hauled herself to her feet. She bonked her head against the ceiling and hissed. Then, just as she was about to ask how everyone was doing, a voice interrupted her.

It was like an earthquake creating words. Cannonade becoming language.

"I AM NEVER GOING TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME!? ANYONE! ANYWHERE! I REFUSE!!! YOU CANNOT MAKE ME! NEVER! I WANT TO MAKE THAT ABSOLUTELY CLEAR! NEVER! THAT WAS THE MOST INTOLERABLE, THE MOST UNDESERVED... NEVER!! NEVER, DO YOU HEAR ME!? NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!!!"

The ground actually shook from the sheer volume of George's protestation. Leaves rattled on the scrubby bushes around them. The sky echoed with his words long after he had stopped erupting them.

His throat hurt.

He stood there, once again a charred but illuminated skeleton, devoid of metal. And he smoldered with rage. He did not care who had heard him. It was his ultimatum to the universe in general.

All of Zinc's fur had been blown back. He pried his eyelids open just so he could stare properly. "Jesus wept, Georgie!"

The sound of another voice startled the stallion so much he nearly tripped over his hooves. "Sir Zinc! I... I apologize. I let my emotions overtake me."

The others were cautiously peeking out from inside the Fearsleigher, like soldiers unsure if the grenade lying in front of them was live or not.

George hung his head and nervously fidgeted. He was babbling now, in a much smaller voice, "That was undignified of me. I am sorry you had to hear that. It was a tantrum, plain and simple. When the spinning began, I could feel your bones break and your blood spill. Unspeakable heartache. Failure! Absolute failure! My reason is to protect you and I failed!"

'Good god, he's gonna have a nervous breakdown,' Junella thought as she sprang from the car and ran towards him. She hugged his leg. Holy shit, he was actually trembling!

Toby tucked Doll under his arm and jumped down too. Piffle joined him. Zinc tried his best, but couldn't get his wrench jaws unstuck from the semi-melted grips.

Junella squeezed. "Shut your sweet mouth, George," she lullabyed. "We all screw up sometimes. Don't let it tear you up."

"I... I..." George could not speak. For a moment there, he had felt his old self pounding with all four hooves against the inside of his brain, trying to come back. All the unthinking brutality and rage. It was the most awful feeling. Though still not as bad as feeling his friends suffering inside him. Nothing could be worse than that. George knew he must remember it forever. It would sting him like wasp's venom, but it would be a remembering pain. A pain he would do anything to never repeat.

And then he felt Sire Toby and Madam McPerricone hugging him as well. Even Madam Doll.

"I am grateful to all of you," he whispered.

A faraway sound tickled Zinc's newly-regrown ear. He looked around. His face fell. "Sorry to break up the party, guys... but we're standin' in a minefield."

Everyone had been so focused on George, they hadn't thought to check their surroundings.

The area they'd fallen into was typical of the canyon floor in Lumbago. The land was curved between the rock pillars, sloping up and down like a snowboarding half-pipe. Orange rock and orange sand, punctuated by sickly, tangled bushes. And the corpses of biteranodons were littered absolutely everywhere. Their flattened bodies were like a feathered carpet. The stink was incredible. Smaller nightmares were emerging from their dens, shaped like rabbits but with teeth and claws three times normal size. They stared in disbelief at this bounty from heaven, then began to feast lustfully on their former predators.

Retaining a wounded dignity, there stood the Fearsleigher. She'd gotten considerably uglier, but was still in one piece. The emergency failsafe had landed it without major structural damage (and had flung away most of the bird blood). The doors were lopsided, every last bit of glass was gone (again), some of the armor plating was curled, the paintjob was now more scratches than paint, George's harness was a crumpled squiggle, and the bayonets were bent nearly sideways. But it still stood. And the skate blades looked invulnerable as ever. Just not lowered. And without them in place, there was no way George could reintegrate with the car or hitch himself to it.

Nightmares resurrect slower than souls. Typically, the stupider they are, the slower it takes. And biteranodons are quite stupid. But now there were corpses littered all around the Fearsleigher, any one of which might spring back to life at any second.

They all realized their dilemma. Junella took charge as usual. "Allright! I gotta get these blades working or we're a buffet. The rest of you, grab whatever weaponry ain't broken and start bustin' skulls!" She swept her arm towards the car for Toby and Piffle to follow her.

George was still standing in the same spot. His pinprick eyes blazed like two microscopic suns. Low and cold, he said, '"You may not need any weapons at all, Madam Brox."

For a second she wasn't sure what he meant. Then she turned and saw him scraping the ground repeatedly with his foot. His whole body vibrated. He was coiling himself like a clockspring.

"New plan! Everyone still gets guns, but mostly we just stay the fuck outta George's way!"

"I like this new plan," George said. His voice sounded like a thundercloud trapped in his throat.

Junella climbed up the side of the car to bang on the roof. "Zinc, I want you to check the hood real quick; see how much of our supplies survived."

He grinned sheepishly. "No can do, Sarge." He tugged on his wrenches. "Stuck."

Her eyes bugged a bit at seeing the metal grips warped around her partner's hands. "Can it still fire?"

"The trigger's permanently pulled. So I think maybe as soon as I start pedaling..." He let her finish that thought.

"Well, shit, then just point it birdwards and keep doin' what you're doin'."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Piffle's cutely round rump filled the backseat as she and Doll poked around inside the storage space. Toby waited at the door to get a weapon, then realized, 'I'm already holding one.' He looked down at his palm. That faint glow was still emanating from it.

'What did I do to that biteranodon's head?' he finally asked himself.

He was still reeling a bit from everything that had happened in the last few minutes, but this was the clearest his mind had been since it started. Might as well make use of it.

He took himself back to the moment when the bird had broken in through the window. He let his muscle memory tell him the story.

And then suddenly it was obvious. Simply a matter of cause and effect.

He didn't stop to think. Otherwise his cowardice would have grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him back against the car. Toby hopped down and went running out into the open.

Junella had just mindfucked up a new pair of revolvers, then dropped them in disbelief when she saw her client seemingly going AWOL. "Get your ass back here! You crazy!?"

"I'm not running away!" he shouted over his shoulder. The dead birds were spread out across a wide area. He found one relatively isolated and stood facing its motionless double-beaked head.

"Sire Toby! Let me assist you!" George cried in alarm. "You will be injured!"

Toby gulped. Sweat ran down his ears and forehead. He felt his leg muscles twitching, felt the sand beneath his soles. "Only if I fail."

George cocked his head in disbelief. Then he realized that his master had not gone mad after all. He gave a whicker of encouragement and resumed his stance.

The six of them were sweaty, bloody, tired and quaking with anticipation. Junella wriggled herself beneath the car, toolbox in hand. Piffle found an army surplus rifle. Doll was stacking up boxes of bullets. Zinc's legs were tensed to begin pumping. George was doing small stretching exercises, feeling out his old body again and remembering why he liked it so much.

Toby was rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. The air down here felt oversaturated with oxygen now, like he was getting drunk on the stuff. He glanced above. The swarm was still there, circling. Either afraid of the mist or confused at where their meal had gone. 'Good. At least we'll only have to worry about the ones on the ground.' Toby looked back down at the dead nightmare. It was sure taking its sweet time to resurrect.

Zinc spotted movement. A beaked head raised from the dust, casting about in confusion. Zinc soundlessly rotated his gun towards it. "Get ready, cats and kittens..."

A scaly leg twitched here. A wing fluttered there. One by one, the birds began to stir.

The travelers kept silent.

The biteranodons did not classify George as food. Like many constructs, they paid almost no attention to their peers of different breeds. But the scent of meat was on the air. Coming from a certain direction. Beaks began to swivel towards the blood-soaked car.

The nightmare at Toby's feet started uncurling. Toby felt his heartbeat slow to a pounding thrum in his ears. His skin felt like ice. Inside him was the same overwhelming fear as ever, but there was a core of energy keeping it at bay. He felt the hammer in his arm. Felt its weight. Felt his blood pulsing around it. Silently he knelt, spreading his fingers, reaching out his hand towards the beast.

Its mouths snapped open in a hiss. Its wing lashed out and knocked Toby backwards. He pinwheeled his arms to keep from falling on his ass. The biteranodon squawked and thrashed, trying to stand. Its head zeroed in on the tasty slender mouse standing in front of it. The bird could not fly yet, but it could leap.

Toby's mind snapped into slow motion hyper-awareness as the biteranodon lunged at him feet-first. He saw its broad, tattered wings dimming the sun. Its boil-covered chest. Its glistening double tongues. The steely black talons stretching towards his flesh...

Toby's arm came up, stiff as a beam. He did not try to duplicate his feat from before, he simply let it happen.

The nightmare's scales touched his palm.

POW

That was the sound of the biteranodon's leg being launched straight through its body like a fucking harpoon.

Toby allowed himself the luxury of shrieking like a little girl as he leapt out of the way of the falling corpse.

What he had done was simple. Cause and effect. When the window had broken before, Toby had tried to launch his hammer into his waiting grip. But the biteranodon's skull had been in the way. So the hammer bounced off the skull, back towards his arm. But his arm was solely concerned with forcing it out. Alfonzo's design did not like that, so it pushed harder. The effect upon the nightmare's bone had been like an overclocked jackhammer.

Same with this one's leg. Its corpse hit the dirt with a wet crunch.

Hyperventilating and dizzy, Toby stared at the lumpy black pile of dead meat. His breathing turned into a gasp of high-pitched laughter. He'd actually done it! He'd discovered a new use for his hammer! A completely unexpected side effect! Wait till he told Dorster and Alfonzo about this! Could he do it again? Why not! He had a lethal piston inside of his arm now! He-

BBBBBRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!!!

Toby was so startled he leapt about three feet straight up.

The bird that had been just about to make a meal out of Zinc was shredded straight down the middle by a machete of bullets. It fell in two loud splats on either side of the gun. Zinc's fangs gleamed. "Yup! She still works!" he crowed.

Toby scrambled to his feet and dusted off his shorts. "Stop being cooler than me! It's not fair!"

Zinc laughed his ass off. "You'll catch up!"

A twitch of movement caught George's eye. He interpreted Zinc's barrage as the signal to begin the festivities.

The reborn biteranodon never saw it coming. It had been dead, then it was alive again, waking up slowly, confused. It raised its head and spoke a questioning, 'cuk?' Then two hundred pounds of solid bone came crashing down, grinding its brains to powder, leaving no time for a single squawk.

"YOU DISGUST ME!" George bellowed. "NO THOUGHT, NO LOYALTY, NO HYGIENE!" He spotted another one just waking up, trying to prop itself up on its wings. "STAY ASLEEP, YOU CRAVEN GERM!" George introduced his hoof to the top of its head, which soon made acquaintance with its fifth and sixth spinal vertebrae.

The sounds of gunshots and hoofbeats turned the silent afternoon into a rainless thunderstorm. Zinc pummeled the sandy ground with bullets. Piffle fumbled with her rifle until she was hitting her targets more by intention than luck. Junella tinkered as fast as she could.

George's head was whipping back and forth like an electric mixer, hunting for more targets. He snorted, snarled and roared. The glow from his bones was brighter than a kerosene lamp. Flames from his mouth and nose crawled up along his skull and down the length of his spine, giving him a burning mane.

'I'm SO glad he's on our side!' Toby thought, heart racing with terror and awe. "George! I'll check over here!" he called out, waving his hammer.

The nightmare stallion twitched, startled. "Hmm? Oh! Yes! Fantastic idea! We shall work as a team!" He snorted in ardent approval. "Comrades! Brothers in arms!" He laughed heartily as he turned another stirring bird's cranium from convex to concave.

Toby grinned lopsidedly. George's enthusiasm was infectious. He actually felt sort of hopeful about his chances. He heard an 'Aaawk!' over his shoulder and whipped around. Here was a chance right now. This biteranodon had landed in a backbreaking slump with its legs curled up over its head. Now those legs began twitching. Its wings flapped and it struggled to right itself.

"No you don't!" Toby yelled. He held up his bracer to protect himself from the talons and rushed in to apply his new technique to its head.

The biteranodon kicked hard and sent Toby sprawling.

His vision spun for a second, but his bracer had kept the claw from plunging though his face, so that was something. Toby jumped to his feet. "Oh yeah!?" he spat, trying to sound tough. He aimed his arm and shot his hammer out with as much willpower as he could generate.

The hammer sailed like an arrow towards the birdthing's eyeless head and clanged against the bone. Instant broken neck. Then the hammer went flying off sideways about twelve feet.

"Oh shit!" Toby squealed and ran off after it. He made a mental note to not use his hammer as a projectile weapon again.

Thankfully it landed in the open dirt. A terrorbunny was nearby. It looked at the hammer, looked at Toby, then puffed up to quadruple its size, shrieking like a teakettle.

"I'm having a bad day!!!" Toby roared at it.

The little nightmare turned tail and ran off as fast as its claw-burdened feet could manage. As if to say, 'Okay! Sheesh! Sorry!'

Toby snatched up his hammer and reloaded it.

Meanwhile, black sweat was rolling down Junella's face as she fought to unjam the blade-lowering mechanism. The fact that it wouldn't stop juddering up and down was not helping her. She kept having to dart her fingers away lest they get pinched flat. Suddenly, two big ruby eyes slid in beside her. She was so startled she nearly hit herself in the face with her wrench. "WHAT!?" she snarled at Piffle.

The hamsterfly cringed. Shouting a bit over the gatling gun's eructations, she explained, "I shot a few, but I think the boys got the birds covered. I was wondering if I could be of assistance down here?"

Junella bared her fangs. "No, I do not need a co-mechanic! I-" Her sentence stopped as she thought about the bigger picture. They needed to get out of here. Piffle could fly. "Wait! No! Sorry! Look, we need to get back up to the bridges, right? There's a coil of As-Much-Rope-As-You-Need in the front. Get it, fly up, then loop it around the biggest, thickest bridge pole you can spot so we can pulley the car up."

The hamsterfly blanched. "I can't lift a whole big car by myself!"

"We'll help you. Now just-"

Piffle snapped her fingers. "Wait! I could do it myself if I was big! Do you still have the resizing thingamabob?"

Junella's eyes widened. A flash of her hand and she was holding it.

"Aces! Why didn't we think of this before!? Remember how it shrunk those people when we were trying to make the apartment building little? That oughtta work in reverse, right? So I'll fly off as far away as I can, then you look at me through the window and make me grow!"

Junella mirrored her grin. "I have no idea if that'll work, but hot damn it'd be cool if it does! Get going!"

"Right!" She turned to shuffle out from beneath the car, then turned back.

"What now?"

She smooched Junella on the cheek, then buzzed away.

The skunk rubbed her cheek and laughed. "Nutcase..."

Meanwhile, Zinc was still ejaculating hot lead into the anatomy of many, many nightmare birds. He was really in need of a shower. Sweat and giblets stained him head to toe. Aiming with the triggers stuck on auto-fire was tricky but not impossible. He soon got into a rhythm of pedaling fast for a wide spread and slow for more precise peppering. And he called out his thanks when he saw a pair of burlap-clad hands dutifully emptying out another basket of caltrops.

George was busy laughing maniacally, pouncing like a pogo stick, ensuring that any downed biteranodons stayed down. There was such savage pleasure to be had in an unfair fight. The little birdies woke up without a clue that a hurricane of bone was bearing down upon them. The crunch of skulls beneath George's hooves was like the touch of velvet. The sound of their startled shrieks, a harp solo.

Toby was glad that George was having so much fun. The stallion was taking care of 90% of the battlefield, leaving Toby the other 10. Of which he was doing a decent job keeping under control, he thought. He'd practiced his new hammer technique on five birds so far, and it was as effective as a shotgun blast each time. Well, almost. One time his hand slipped and he'd sheared a beak off when he'd been aiming for the brain. There was a brief panicked flurry, then a second shot sent it to sleep. But after that hiccup, he was staring to get the feel of it.

Another one! Toby's head turned towards where he'd seen movement, hammer at the ready. But this time it was only Piffle soaring past.

"Off on an errand! Be back soon!" She gave him a jaunty wave.

He smiled back at her, until serrated pain rocketed up his left ankle. Tiny little teeth were digging into him. Teeth that were made for gripping and restraining struggling prey.

Toby whirled around. Embarrassment overshadowed his hurt ankle. He'd been standing right in front of one of the dead ones. It had woken up when his back was turned and did what came naturally. Toby yelled angrily at it. The bird bit down harder. Toby twisted his waist around to get his hand in position.

POW

His hammer shot out like a marble from a Gauss gun, resulting in one spectacularly exploded skull.

He looked down. After prying the bits of beak away, his leg looked like a scratching post. He took a careful step with it and the pain made his teeth clench. This was not good. He wasn't going to make any progress limping from bird to bird like this.

"Yo, Toby!"

He looked up. A small dark hornet was coming to say hello to him.

The bullet passed clean through his corpus callosum, like parting his hair.

A moment later his heart was racing and he was scrambling to his feet in a new body. He looked down: clean clothes and intact ankle. And another dead Toby a few feet away. "Eeugh."

"You're welcome!" Junella shouted.

Well, at least it had been painless. He waved back, then spotted another twitching biteranodon and scurried towards it.

Junella took a moment to marvel. This was actually the same mouse that, just a few days ago, had nearly had a coronary seeing Sander take Zinc's breath. Now she'd put a bullet through his dome and he'd gotten back up like it was no big whoop.

And it was lucky for him she'd noticed the bird's ambush. The skunk's gaze had been fixed on Piffle, and she'd only glanced his way by chance. She looked back to the diminishing pink dot in the distance, resizer in hand.

Piffle was streaking through the air like a fighter jet. Her safari outfit was not exactly aerodynamic, but her strong wings and stronger heart more than compensated. She headed towards the highest hill, a few hundred feet from the car. She wanted to be as visible as possible for Junella.

The skunk squinted. 'Thank goodness for that silly-ass getup,' she thought. Piffle's clothes were bright as a lighthouse bulb. Finally the hamsterfly settled down and saluted, ready to be enlarged.

Junella took a deep breath as she closed the resizing window as small as it could go. She poured her willpower into it. 'I'm sure you weren't designed for this, but do me this favor, would you please?' She held it up to her eye. Piffle's tiny bouncing image was right in the center.

Junella pulled the corners apart.

Piffle's image grew to fit the new dimensions of the little plastic window.

The skunk's face sprang into a grin.

Then, just as quickly, she was frowning again as she watched Piffle suddenly shoot up into the sky. Where the heck was she going? Sightseeing? Junella put a hand above her eyes to follow the hamsterfly's course towards the top of the stone pillars. It was hard to make out what happened next, but it looked like Piffle was cheerleading. Waving her arms around and dancing in midair.

"Your six!" Zinc shouted.

Junella turned. She'd had to stand in the open to see Piffle, and she hadn't been watching her back. The biteranodon had taken a few bullets but could still glide. It had slipped past Zinc and was soaring straight towards her. She put her arms up to block beaks and it knocked her to the dirt. They tumbled together into a clot of bushes.

The nightmare bird's wings were wrapped tight around the strange-smelling meat. The prey struggled hard, but it pinned the squirming thing in place with its feet and prepared to fill its belly.

Junella forced her forearm deeper into the bird's lower maw to keep it busy while her head dodged the upper one. If she could just get her hand to her hip...

The bird let out a strangled 'Aaaawk?' as it suddenly grew a unicorn horn.

Junella's cutlass was hilted in it. Straight through the chest, up the throat, and out the top of its head. Like threading a needle.

She wriggled her legs between herself and the corpse and kicked it off of her. Her sword slipped out of its head with a fantastically gory noise.

She got to her feet and kicked it in the face. "Rude piece of shit," she spat.

Toby ran up to her. "Nicely done."

She sneered down at the thing, offended that it had touched her. "I shoulda been paying attention."

He shrugged. "Hey, your arm's leaking pretty bad. Want me to, uh, do what you did for me a moment ago?" He felt weird about the offer even as he held up his palm.

His politeness got a laugh out of her. "Nah, it'll melt over soon. Thanks though." Then her ear twitched as she caught a high-droning buzz coming closer. Almost like a single-engine aircraft.

The skunk and mouse both looked up to see a gigantic shape soaring in from overhead, making a beeline for the largest group of biteranodons. A flash of gold made them shield their eyes.

When they looked again, their jaws dropped.

Piffle's fork had gotten enlarged as well.

The biteranodons scattered into the air as the loudest buzzing of wings they'd ever heard scrambled their radar. Something unfathomably huge was descending upon them.

"CHOO CHOO!!!" said Pifflezilla.

The resizing window had done its job splendidly. Piffle was nearly forty feet tall, not counting her antennae. Her golden fork now weighed at least a ton, and she herself was about the same mass as a two-bedroom tract home. A fluffy pink airborne juggernaut.

She had her fork held out in front of her lengthwise, like a battering ram. Uncountable greasy black wings snapped as she tore through.

Zinc stopped pedaling and his gun went silent. "Someone make me some popcorn, 'cause this is gonna be a helluva show..."

The swarm scattered. Those that hadn't been demolished by Piffle's extraordinary entrance were blown away by the tornado-force wind from her wings. They cawed in panic. Not once had they ever faced anything like this. Piffle's grin was enormous. The deluxe-sized hamsterfly angled her wings and did a sudden flip around the axis of her fork, like a gymnast swinging around the parallel bars. She plummeted towards the ground feet-first, landing like an atom bomb and crushing several constructs to jelly.

Junella had the forethought to grab Toby and duck him under the car beside her. Piffle's boots sent a shockwave of sand racing across the canyon. Junella felt it rattle shards from her tail as it passed. Zinc was blown horizontal like a windsock.

While half their number had fled, several of the remaining biteranodons regrouped for another assault. Even with their nostrils perpetually clogged with their own filth, they could certainly smell thousands of pounds of hamster meat. A feast to feed the entire colony!

Piffle shot back into the air like a V2 rocket. "You guys'd better clear outta here if you know what's good for you!" she growled. But biteranodons have very little sense of self-preservation, so one of them dived straight for her face. A colossus punch sent it whizzing across the canyon to crunch against a rock pillar. The others seemed to take this as a signal to attack. Dozens swarmed at once.

Piffle knew, there was a time to keep up a sunny disposition and a time to get mad. These overgrown mosquitoes had put her and her friends through an afternoon of misery and had utterly routed her before. But that was when she was little. Now she outnumbered them all by herself. Tiny beaks bit her everywhere, but barely hurt. Their talons only felt like thumbtacks. She reached behind to one on her shoulder and pinched it flat between her fingers."Bad bird!"

Toby winced hard. "Oh yuck!"

Piffle swung, punched, kicked, and karate chopped. Turning on every axis in midair. Her wings spun her around like a whizzing top while she sang the Popeye theme. The tiny, fragile bodies barely registered as she pulverized them.

George had stars in his eyes. "I dearly wish I had wings again. How I'd love to join her!"

Corpse after corpse smashed against the ground. The terrorbunnies were having a carnival amongst the remains.

The nightmare birds attacked with all their ferocity but were hopelessly outclassed. Those that flew too close to her fists and boots got a free chiropractic rearrangement. Those that flew too close to her wings got blasted out of the sky by the downdrafts. Only one of them managed to make Piffle cry out in pain: it landed on her head and chomped down on her left antenna.

"NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!!" she boomed. She reached up and grabbed the little pest in both hands. It squawked and thrashed helplessly. The soft cushiony paws that had once brushed Doll's hair were now pneumatic compactors made of iron. As the others watched from below, she pulled in opposite directions and ripped the ugly little nuisance clean in half.

Junella, Toby and George were all hiding under the car at this point, since outside it was raining dead birds like the world's ugliest hailstorm. When the top and bottom chunks of that last unfortunate individual splatted against the dirt, they all flinched.

Toby could not tear his eyes away, but his shoulder nudged Junella's. "Aren't you glad she tagged along with us?"

The skunk mutely nodded.

"Give 'em hell, Piff!!" Zinc cheered. He jumped up and down, stomping the roof and whistling. "Go, cat, go!"

The canyon towers were speckled up and down with bird blood. Piffle's safari outfit was riddled with tiny teethmarks and sticky black feathers. And still the biteranodons would not retreat. Piffle snatched two of them out of the air and rammed their heads together with a sickening sploosh.

Piffle was a little bit frightened of herself at the moment. She was being awfully cruel to these little things. After all, they couldn't help being what they were. But then she thought of them attacking Toby, swooping at Zinc, getting poor George so mad he burned up the bridge by accident. Sympathy went out the window. "You shoulda left my friends alone!" she bellowed. She reached out to swat one of the buggers, then managed to catch another on her backswing, crumpling it like a candy wrapper. A backflip sent a well-timed karate kick at yet another, pinning it to one of the rock towers in a crimson stain.

Her love for her friends poured fuel onto her fire. Piffle geared herself up for a final blitz to wipe out the last of the nasties. But then, her antennae twitched at a distant sound.

The others heard it too. Or rather, they felt it.

thoom... thoom... thoom...

The vibration rattled up through the sandy ground. Something was coming. Something humongous.

Toby looked up to see chunks of rock raining down from the spires. He pressed his palms to the ground and could feel the rhythmic thumps travel up his arms. His heart turned to ice. There was something horribly familiar about this.

thoom... thoom... thoom...

Zinc looked all around. The echoes were ricocheting off the pillars, making it difficult to pinpoint their source. He swiveled the gatling gun back and forth, wondering if this was something he'd have to shoot. Wondering if shooting would make any difference.

The terrorbunnies all wisely darted for the safety of their burrows.

Thoom... Thoom... Thoom...

The biteranodons were in a tizzy. Those that had survived the onslaught of the titanic furry conqueror were flapping around in flustered circles. Their ears told them just how big and heavy this advancing unknown was. Two enormous beings in one day was simply too much to cope with. Two of them bashed into each other by accident and were soon joining the piles of Piffle's body count below.

THOOM... THOOM... THOOM...

Toby's heart quickened. The footsteps now shook the ground hard enough to rattle his teeth. Whatever impending nightmare was drawing near, it would dwarf Piffle.

Then he saw it. A foot emerged from behind a far pillar. Red as blood.

Toby felt ice crystals encrusting his whole body. His breath caught in his throat.

THOOM... THOOM... THOOM...

Had it followed him?

It turned the corner and squeezed itself through the gaps between the rock towers, its blocky shoulders scraping rubble away wherever it couldn't quite fit. One of the towers began to lean. Then came an ear-puncturing thundercrack as the mile-high pillar snapped at its base. It shattered from the strain of falling. Thousands of tons of rock spilled down from the sky. Then the whole world shuddered as the mountainous chunks impacted. A tsunami of dust raced across the canyon, sandblasting everything in its way. Boulders spun through the air like water drops. The shockwave sent the Fearsleigher hopping several feet straight up, and when it came down it bisected Junella neatly. She was barely aware of it as she reformed, still gawking agog at the mind-scrambling sight before her.

The creature emerged from the dust cloud without any indication that it noticed or cared about what it had just caused. Its pace never changed. Where before it sounded like it was charging, it was actually just taking its time. Strolling. Perfectly unconcerned with the cataclysms that followed wherever it walked.

The rustbeast.




-***-

Chapter Fifty-Four


Toby miraculously managed not to wet his pants.

Memories flooded back to him: his first frenzied moments in Phobiopolis, cowering among the trees as an unspeakably huge creature came stomping right past him. Impossible. Unstoppable. It had found him again. Toby watched those massive crimson legs leave square footprints big as swimming pools. He was going to end up in one of those footprints. Squashed like a grape. Flattened into a tiny smear.

The rustbeast was constructed entirely of rectangles, like a small child's drawing of a bug. If Piffle was as big as a house, then this was easily the size of a mall. And shaped like one too. The body was a gargantuan box, with six stiffly bending legs and a relatively small square head. No facial features. No eyes, ears, mouth, wings, or antennae. Every surface was the exact same color: oxidized coppery red. Rust incarnate.

At first, Toby was too stricken with brain-destroying dread to notice how much it had changed since their first encounter. But gradually it dawned on him that before, its appearance had been almost skeletal. Its limbs were like the Eiffel Tower: crisscrossing gaps all throughout its infrastructure. But now they were filled in smooth. And hadn't it had a tail before? Was this not the same beast? Another of its 'species'? Or had fear tangled up his perceptions the first time?

Whilst everyone else was staring at the immense oncoming abomination with a knowledge deep in their souls that this was the end, Piffle's reaction was quite different.

She twirled in mid-air, then flung her arms outward and shrieked in total joy, "It's RED!!!"

She zoomed like a cruise missile across the canyon right up to the rustbeast, immediately flinging her arms around its neck in a jubilant hug. "Oh it's SO good to see you again!!" she squealed. "And I can finally give you proper cuddles at this size!" She planted a series of rapid-fire kisses on the side of its face, staining her lips orange.

Doll leaned out of the side door and just gawked. She couldn't think of any gesture that could convey her feelings at seeing what she was seeing.

"Oh, of course," Junella muttered weakly, her brain blowing gaskets right and left. "Of course Piffle knows the monster at the end of the world. God put her here to fill my life with chaos."

George didn't hear a word she'd said. He was slowly getting to his feet again, trembling as he stared. His eyes shone with awe. "It's a nightmare construct," he breathed. "Like me."

Junella was about to say, 'Well yeah, there are lots of nightmares all over,' but then the deeper meaning struck her. "Like you? You mean... smart?"

George's voice was far away. He could barely believe his senses. The very idea that he was not alone in this realm had been unthinkable just a moment ago. "It does not seem to possess the same level of intelligence as I do, but look! It is not attacking her. It is docile. It is... tame!"

Indeed, the rustbeast was rubbing its cheek against Piffle's. Swaying side to side as she squeezed and smooched and babytalked to it.

She sighed in bliss. "You couldn't have come at a better time, ya big sweetiepie. We were in a heckuva fix, but you wouldn't mind doin' us a favor and letting us hitchhike, wouldja old pal? Nah! 'Course not! Because you're wonderful all over, aren't you? And looking so well-fed! Hardly any holes today!"

It nodded slowly. Its head was roughly half her current size. Flakes of rust like crimson dandruff sloughed off whenever it moved. Its shape was like a beetle, but its movements recalled a very large, old tortoise.

Piffle gave the rustbeast one last firecracker of a kiss, then buzzed her wings and rocketed back towards her friends. She was so overwhelmed with happiness, she did three barrel rolls and landed on her tummy like a runner sliding into home plate. "Hiya, guys! Isn't this great!?" she boomed.

The resulting minor earthquake knocked everyone off their feet. She giggled sheepishly as her friends picked themselves up.

Toby pointed past her and stated the obvious. "...That's the rustbeast!!"

"It's Red!" she repeated. "He's an old pal. I met him years ago. He walks through the Blackdamp every now 'n again, then vanishes for a while and comes back. Actually, that might explain why he's hereabouts. Maybe he just walks from one end of the world to the other. For exercise."

George looked up into her shining eyes, desperate for answers. "Madam McPerricone! Why did you never tell me you knew of another ascended construct? I've felt achingly alone all this time! Thinking I was nothing but a fluke, an aberration!"

She blinked. "Gosh, it never crossed my mind!" She looked back and forth between George and Red. "I never thought of him as a nightmare! I mean, he's never acted like one. Normally you guys are all 'rawr rawr'. But I watched him go by a few times and he just seemed like he was passin' on though without a care. I flew up to talk to him one day and he didn't seem to mind me. After a few times, he'd even wait for me to show up."

"Incredible," George husked. His mind whirred with curiosity. Had this beast lost its normal nightmarish temperament through the years, like he himself had? Or had it come into existence like this? Was it really even a nightmare? It smelled like one and gave off all the right signals. But it might also be something new. Or something ancient, predating himself and all other constructs. Was it someone's imaginary friend come to life?

"I think he'll like you guys," Piffle said with assurance. "Anywizzle, didja see the way I KO'd those nasty crows?" She grinned proudly and took a swing at imaginary villains.

Seeing her so gigantic made Zinc's heart beat in a rather unexpected way. He was the size of a sparkplug compared to her. "You're the most, babe! Our very own Pauline Bunyan!"

"Why thank you," she said sweetly. She looked down at all her tiny friends, greatly amused at their bug-eyed expressions and how they were barely taller than the toes of her boots now.

That gave her a wicked idea. "I just can't resist!" She crouched down and made a grab for George.

"ExCUSE me, I..." He neighed in protest as she bounced him up and down.

"Trot trot trot! My little horsie went to the races!" She paraded George around in a circle like a plastic toy.

"This is an assault on my dignity!" he snorted.

Junella was laughing so hard she was crying. That is, until a humongous hamster paw picked her up and lifted her into the air. She opened her mouth to scream but all she could manage was a record scratch.

Toby did not panic too much when Piffle did the same to him. He knew she wouldn't do anything terrible to him, right? And her paw was really soft. Like having a bunch of couch cushions abduct him.

Piffle's grin was spectacularly mischievous. "And here we have the lovely bride and groom on their wedding day! Aren't they a sight! I'm the preacher and I say that now you may kiss the bride!"

Junella's expression turned to boundless horror.

Toby screamed as Piffle suddenly thrust him headfirst towards Junella.

Piffle was careful not to crack her little playthings' skulls, but she did kind of bonk Toby's face against Junella's cheek while making smooching noises. "Oh, oh, my precious darling! You are the cream in my coffee! The only one for me!"

Junella wiggled a hand loose enough to scream, "ZINC, FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHOOT HER!!!"

But he was laughing way too hard to aim straight.

From behind them came a quiet, questioning grunt. Although "quiet" hardly applied to a rustbeast. Its mutter sounded like iron beams bending.

Piffle remembered she'd left him standing there. He was probably wondering why his friend had run off so suddenly. She was about to tuck her friends in her pocket, but then remembered poor stuck Zinc. Instead, she lifted Toby, Junella and George up onto the Fearsleigher's roof. Then she gripped it under the chassis, lifted with her knees, and picked the whole darn thing up. "Whoof! It's heavier than it looks! How do you do it, George?"

He was too busy trying to not fall off to answer. Hooves and metal do not make for secure standing. Plus, the others were all wobbling around trying to deal with the shaking too and he didn't want to step on them by accident.

Piffle skipped merrily across the canyon with her playset and action figures. Each footstep sounded like a dumpster dropped from a helicopter. Toby flattened himself to the roof on his tummy. Junella wobbled around like a rolling die, barely avoiding the gatling gun barrel (it was still so hot it would have melted her smooth). Piffle skidded to a stop in front of Red and held up the car. "Looky! These are my friends!"

Toby's brain could barely deal with being so close to the thing that had first introduced him to the terrors of Phobiopolis. Back then it had nearly scared him into a coma. He expected a gush of hot breath to blast him off the roof as the thing sniffed him, but of course it didn't have a nose. Its face was nothing more than a featureless red wall.

"Oh, and we can't forget Doll." Piffle snugged the Fearsleigher under her arm so she could poke her finger through the side door. Doll felt as tiny as a ladybug as she crawled up onto it. Piffle placed her on the roof along with the others.

Doll craned her neck up, trying to deal with the enormity of this thing. She gave an uncertain wave to it.

Red's head moved back a fraction, surprised by the near-microscopic furson dressed in burlap. Then it leaned in a little closer.

"I think you're interesting to him," Piffle said.

Then she farted.

POOOT. The flabby, rumbling noise was almost exactly the same as air escaping from a balloon. And just as it happened, Piffle shrank a few inches.

Her cheeks reddened. "Oh gee!"

Zinc piped up, "I don't think that resizer's supposed to work like this! I think the effect's wearing off!"

Junella had a horrible thought of Piffle suddenly reverting to normal all at once, and what would that do to the car and everyone on it? "Put us down while you still can!!"

"Better idea!" Piffle sing-songed. She reached out to gently pet Red's big square noggin. "Is it okay? I just wanna be sure first." She tooted again, hiccuped, and lost another bit of height.

"Hurry!!"

"There's always time for politeness," Piffle admonished the skunk.

It took a few moments for Red to acknowledge Piffle's question, but then his head slowly raised and slowly lowered: a nod.

"Great! Thank you so much!" She kissed his forehead, then got a better grip on the car and took off with her wings. She grunted. It was even harder trying to carry the big armored thing while flying.

Another poot. Everyone on the roof nearly lost their balance.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Piffle said. Straining and puffing, she managed to get enough height to bring the Fearsleigher's roof level with Red's back. Then her friends could hop to safety while she dealt with getting the car parked.

"Go, go go!" Junella yelped. By reflex she snatched up Doll's arm as she dashed past, and tossed her like a bowling ball onto the relatively stable ground of Red's back.

"Need assistance, Sire Toby?" George asked.

Toby did indeed. His bravery tank had reached empty and he was having a lot of trouble convincing his limbs to let go of the roof.

George bent down and picked him up by his vest collar like a mother cat carrying a kitten. He trotted onto Red and set his master down.

The rust felt uncomfortably scrapey under Toby's moccasins.

Still shrinking by inches every few seconds, Piffle struggled to haul the Fearsleigher up higher. At first she was just going to plop it straight down, but then she realized that the unexpected solution to one problem had created another. The Fearsleigher had not been able to push itself up on its blades, but with Piffle holding it, gravity had bent them down anyway. And locked them there. This was good for the car but might be painful for Red's back. Piffle fretted for a second, then decided the best solution would be to tip the car over on its side.

Zinc hollered as his feet slipped out from beneath him and he dangled by his hands. "Still stuck here, remember!?"

"Yikes! Forgive me!" Piffle exclaimed. "How do I set it down without hurting him!?"

Junella got an idea. She ran back towards the car and timed a perfect leap onto the grille. Then she clambered up the fender and dropped down into the front seat. She called out to Piffle, "Rotate it back to normal if you don't wanna get sepukku'd!"

The hamsterfly obeyed. Zinc was glad to have something to stand on again. Junella pressed a button and the car started vibrating. Piffle yelped and tightened her grip. The skate blades began to move.

What Junella had done was to engage the manual merging sequence. Even without George there, the Fearsleigher could be tricked into thinking he was. Its gears click-click-clicked, extending the mangled remains of his harness while raising the skate blades to their horizontal position.

"Good job, Junella!" Piffle said as she sat the car down flat. Good timing too, as her arms had started shaking from the strain. Now that all her friends and all their stuff was safe, she switched to the next highest priority.

She flicked her wings and swooped back around to Red's head to glom it in one last mega-hug. Now it was almost larger than she was, but still the mammoth hamsterfly squeezed with all her heart. "Thank you soooo much, Red! You're a swell fella! A really big help! I dunno what I can ever do to repay you, but I hope my hug's a good start."

His head slowly raised, then slowly lowered.

Piffle rubbed her cheek against him, getting it all rusty. "I'm glad."

Piffle continued to poot until she was back to normal size. By then she had crawled up on top of Red's head, lying spread-eagle across it, trying to ensure that her hug would continue to cover as much surface area as Pifflely possible.

Toby peeked over the edge of Red's back. It was like a sheer cliff. Ten feet down to where his head was, but sixty more to the ground. He was still nervous about Red, but anyone Piffle could love so wholeheartedly couldn't be all bad.

Doll toddled over to hold onto the hem of his shorts for stability. Toby looked down at her, then at Piffle and Red, and found the parallels interesting.

Piffle gave her big buddy one last squeeze, then sat up. "I guess I'd better tell you where we're going, huh? Hopefully it won't be an inconvenience. We're trying to get to a place called... I'm not sure, actually. Zinc called it Hell's Arse and Junella called it Fistula."

Junella overheard this and ran over at top speed to correct her. "No, no, no, NO! Don't give him that idea!!"

Piffle nibbled her finger in confusion. "But you said..."

"That was when we were up on the ropes! Did you see that flaming hole in the sky? Normally it's the quickest route. But if your big pal doesn't mind, I'd MUCH rather take our time and walk to Marasmus. Skip the hot place entirely."

"...Amen!!" Zinc shouted. "Ever had your eyelids pan-sear your peepers? Ain't fun, lemme fuckin' tellya!"

Piffle grimaced. "I can imagine!" She reached down to stroke Red like a puppy. "So how's that? Do you know where Marasmus is?"

It nodded a little faster this time, as if she'd asked a really easy one.

She clapped her paws. "That's super!"

From deep within the beast came a low bass groan. Like the creak of long-dormant machinery struggling back to life after centuries of decay. Resonant enough to vibrate up through everyone's feet. For Red, it was a whisper.

Piffle gave him a pat. "Mm-hmm, we're ready. We can go anytime."

It nodded. Then it looked side to side at the nearby rock pillars. Red had no reason to care about environmental destruction when he was all by his lonesome. Everywhere in Phobiopolis, the land perpetually healed itself behind the scenes (and where it didn't, Red did not go). But now he had smallones as passengers. Heavy rocks could kill them. That would make them unhappy. Red knew that sometimes he would step on smallones by accident, but tried whenever possible not to.

Toby dropped down to all fours as soon as he felt the rusty bulk shift below him. He could perfectly picture this thing rocking back and forth like a humongous camel, sending him sliding off the side to fall and go splat. But to his amazement, once those big legs started moving, Red's stride was as smooth as if he were gliding on rollers. Toby cautiously stood up, laughing in amazement.

Piffle could see the overwhelming breathless relief in her mouse friend's expression. He actually put his arms out to the side and let the wind rustle over him.

She smiled warmly. Was there a better feeling in all the world than introducing old friends to new, and having them all get along?


***


'The view from up here is impressive,' Toby had to admit.

Now that he had a moment to appreciate them, the rock pillars were actually rather beautiful. They were not a solid orange, but striped with many different hues. And the way the land curved between them reminded Toby of ocean waves. Best of all? No more biteranodons. Any of them foolish enough to hang around after Piffle's pummeling had skedaddled the instant they laid eyes on Red. Well, except for the ones that were currently beset by packs of gnawing terrorbunnies.

Toby's nerves were calming down. Red had shown not a speck of aggression so far. If the big beast knocked over trees and rock pillars when it walked, that was only due to clumsiness, not malice. Toby told himself that if he could accept George as a friend despite his fearsome appearance, there was no reason he couldn't accept Red too.

The mouse knelt down to reluctantly pat the rustbeast. "Uhh... Hi."

It raised its head in Toby's direction.

"Pleased to meet you," Toby semi-lied.

A slight head tilt. Possibly a shrug?

'Not the world's greatest conversationalist,' Toby thought.

Meanwhile, Junella was trying to get Zinc down off the roof. Some people vented their frustrations though sports or debate. Right now she was using a crowbar. It had come from the storage space under the hood, where she'd been glad to see (thanks to the inner carpeting and some tight packing) almost nothing had been broken. Right now she had the crowbar's forked end jammed between her partner's right wrenchpaw and the gun grip, sweating and straining and actually rather glad for having a practical problem in front of her she could solve with brute force.

Zinc had his tail between his legs. "I appreciate this, partner. I was starting to think I'd spend the rest of the trip as an object d'art." (Of course, he pronounced it as 'ob-ject da art'.) He had his feet folded up behind him as far away from the pedals as possible. Still, Junella gave the gun threatening looks as she worked. 'Just you TRY and shoot me...'

Finally there came a CRACK and both the skunk and mutt fell backwards. Junella tipped herself back on her feet with her tail. She hefted the crowbar over her shoulder. "One down, one to go."

"Nah, you go unwind. I got this one," Zinc grabbed hold and grunted. Finally having some leverage, the second wrench came free in half the time. Even better, the grips' inner mechanisms still had some spring in them. With a bit of repair work, he was certain the gun would be good as new again.

Seeing as Zinc now had that 'Oh boy I get to fix something' gleam in his eyes, Junella decided to take his advice and go chill while she had the chance. She handed him the crowbar and hopped down from the car. She found she kind of liked the feel of Red's scaly 'skin' on her feet. Good for scratching itches. She laid herself down and stretched out every bit of herself, releasing a sigh.

"Might I offer my ribcage as a pillow for your head, Madam Brox?" George asked as he trotted over.

The skunk shrugged. "Don't hafta."

He was already kneeling down to curl his legs below him. "Actually, I was hoping we could have a bit of a conversation."

Junella got her tail out of his way and scooted back so she could fold her arms behind her head. She eased down onto him. For charred old bone, he was fairly comfortable. "'What's shakin'?"

George looked out across the landscape. The rock pillars were becoming scarcer in this direction. There were more numerous bushes and other native flora. Packs of terrorbunnies followed behind Red like groupies, all leaping up to nibble scraps of biteranodon flesh from his feet. Great numbers of them were gooshed beneath those gargantuan square soles, but Red took no notice.

Finally George laid his skull down against the rust. "I just... It seems as though you are the de facto leader of our expedition, and given that position of authority, I feel I must make a formal apology for my actions earlier."

Junella arched an eyebrow. She said nothing, coaxing him to continue.

He was surprised she didn't immediately know what he was talking about. "I let the biteranodons rile me into burning down the bridge! Then, after we fell, I let loose that dreadful outburst!" He shook his skull from side to side in shame.

Junella snorted and closed her eyes again. "Forgiven."

Her curtness wounded him. "Madam Brox, I am serious in wanting to make amends. I don't-"

She shot a hand out to lightly smack him upside the head. "And I was serious about forgiving you. George, did you happen to notice I drove us off the wrong ramp and landed us in Kar... Kart..." It was always hard finding the syllables to stitch together a new place. "...the land of 1000 airplanes!? That was stupid as hell of me and it nearly got us all royally fucked. And you know what? OH WELL!"

She shouted that last part so loudly it startled him.

"Point is, no one's the hero every time. I get that you're on this noble quest of penance for your evil past. I can relate to that more than most people..." The hand that had smacked him reached out to gently caress his cheekbone. "But you're gonna fuck up along the way. And you've gotta forgive yourself, 'cause you'll curl into nothin' if you don't. Remember that you fucked up, but don't get all crazy over it either. The more you concentrate on a mistake, the more likely you are to do the same damn thing over again."

George took a moment to silently ruminate on this. Then he spoke softly, "That is very wise, Madam Brox."

"Experience," she sang back. "You either get smart or get dead."

He nodded. Then nudged her cheek gently. "Thank you. That was, I think, the most helpful thing you could have said to me."

She grinned a little. "I'm a people-pleaser." Then she tilted her head back to stare up through the lazily swirling sky. She'd just let George see a part of herself she usually kept hidden. There was a thoughtful place inside her she'd long ago sealed behind walls of outer armor. It was a place she could see firsthand on the rare occasions when she curled up into her own bellybutton. She only did this when Zinc was nowhere around, and only for as long as it took to remember. It was easy to forget her own advice. She often did.

Meanwhile, Piffle was sitting on top of Red's head, just enjoying the view and daydreaming. The weather was nice and warm. She could see dust trails pluming up from the various nightmare critters that patrolled this place. But they didn't worry her. Up here on Red, they might as well have been doodlebugs.

She leaned over to give him one more kiss and a pat, then stood up to stretch. She was curious what the rest of her friends were up to. She jumped, and hoisted herself up the ridge onto Red's back.

Toby was sitting cross-legged nearby. Doll was propped up beside him, back-to-back. The mouse's eyes were blank and faraway. He looked deep in thought, so she decided to slip past without disturbing him.

In actuality, Toby's mind was as vacant as his expression. Now that he had this moment to cool down, he'd taken full advantage of it and fallen into a kind of waking sleep. He let all conscious thought slip away as his brain's sub-basement tried to process through everything that had happened recently.

Piffle gave Doll a wave, and a wave was returned. Doll seemed to be keeping watch over Toby while the mouse spaced out, so Piffle left her alone too.

Then, up on the rooftop, click click click. Zinc was giving the gatling turret a thorough inspection, squeezing it and fondling it from every angle with his wrenches.

Piffle fluttered up to peek over his shoulder.

He took no notice at first. His gaze was locked on the big brass gun, checking her all over for injuries. He realized now that her out-of-this-world price tag wasn't just for her looks, but her craftsmanship. Solid as a battleship.

"What's the prognosis, doc? Will she ever play the piano again?"

He swiveled around to find Piffle loitering behind him. He chuckled. "Once I fix the grips she'll be right as rain. Wouldja mind grabbing my tools from inside? I'm pretty sure I remembered to stash 'em back in the glovebox before we..." he gestured like a spinning top.

"Right on it," she said and vanished. A moment later she plopped his tool bag beside him, along with an unexpected surprise. "Voila!"

"Jesus, this thing's got a good luck charm on it!" Zinc took the rumpled cornucopia from her paws and marveled at it.

"I thought we'd lost it too! But nope, it got wedged under your seat."

Zinc uncrimped the edges and held it above his head. A fountain of cool water spilled out. "Ahhhhh! That hit the spot!" He shook himself top-to-bottom, drying off as canines do. Piffle laughed and shielded herself from the spray. Then Zinc conjured up a peeled hard boiled egg from the cornucopia and handed it back. "Thanks, toots," he said with his mouth full.

"You're welcome. I always like helping." She pulled out a plate of cake and sat down to watch him work.

Seeing that he had her attention, he decided to give her something worth looking at. First he spread out his tools on the roof. Then he detached his Doorknockers and let his wrenches pop off their mounts. He shucked his shirt and jacket to keep them from getting grease-stained. He reattached his arms and arched his back in a long, deep stretch. The afternoon sun ran its warm fingers through his chestfur. Felt good.

Piffle felt her heart flutter. Zinc's body shape was a bit like an alley stray: thin and patchy. But his muscles were like bundles of copper wire underneath his taut skin. And then she realized that he had a circle of curious fur over his left pectoral, right where his heart would be. "Say, what's that big polka dot you got?"

"Oh this?" He was mildly startled. He'd put a lot of work into matching the color. Not many people noticed it. "Come on over and take a closer look. It's real interestin'."

Piffle let her cake stop existing and stood up. He'd sounded almost shy just then. Her antennae twitched as she leaned in closer. She put out a paw to touch the spot. "It feels counterfiet. Like a stuffed animal."

He nodded. "Lift the flap. See what's underneath."

She crouched a little lower to do so. When she did, she gasped.

The round patch came off in her hand like velcro. Underneath was a hard plastic circle: the end of a clear tube that passed entirely through the left side of Zinc's chest. She reached around to feel his back. As expected, she found a second patch.

When she slid it away, the sun shone fully through him.

Inside the transparent tunnel was a tiny masterpiece of gears. Bronze-colored and sparkling. They made up a rough sphere that whizzed around inside the tube: back and forth, back and forth, like a trapped bee behind a closed window. Piffle could not get a good look at the speedy little thing, but she could tell it was as delicate as it was complex, and that constant miniature lightning strikes were going off around it.

She was speechless.

Zinc grinned at her expression. "Nifty, huh? I got a tin man's heart."

Reverently, Piffle put her hand against the plastic window. It felt incredibly durable. Bulletproof. She could feel an intense tingling vibration travel up her fingertips from the tiny dynamo inside. "It's beautiful..."

He acted nonchalant, but his cheeks were turning pink. He liked seeing her amazed expression. The way her mouth hung open past her cute buck teeth.

Then she furrowed her brow. "But... I saw Miss Xenoiko eat yours. And Luxy scooped it out 'long with mine."

He chuckled and patted the other side of his chest. "Real one's still in there too."

She leaned even closer to press her ear to Zinc's right side and could hear the th-thump, th-thump of his organic beat.

"A normal heart can't generate the force for bloodpower. Not for long at least." He flexed his wrenches in a bicep curl. "So ol' Doc Coddington shoved it aside and plugged this spankin' new one in for hi-octane backup. It's a bitsy little power plant. Perpetual motion. If that tube ever broke, all hell'd break loose. The little wind-up toy inside'd probably go whizzing around and shred right through the world and out the other side."

"Gosh..." Piffle breathed. The longer she held her hand in place, the more the buzzing from the tube traveled slowly up her arm, creating a tickly numb sensation. When she let go, she could still feel it strumming her nerves. "That's a doozy of a ticker you got there. Or tickerS!"

"I'm glad you like 'em, baby." He took the patches back and reapplied them. "Too much sun can make it overheat," he explained. "I wouldn't want to end up with a broken heart."

"You and me both." As soon as Piffle said this, she blushed as pink as her jacket and covered her mouth with a paw. But the other, giving away her true feelings, reached out to trace along the edge of Zinc's right wrench.

He shivered as those gentle furred fingers traveled slowly up and down his rough metal. Ooooh... "Hee hee! If I could get 'em, you'd be givin' me goosebumps!"

Piffle's touch inspected every little nick and dent. "They've been through a lot, haven't they? You're gonna have to set me down one of these days and tell me all about where you got 'em."

A lightbulb went off. "How 'bout now? The repairs on the gun are dead simple. I just need to bend metal till it gets back to normal. You could sit and listen to me talk."

She 'boop'ed his nose. "Even better, I can be your eager young assistant. You can ask me for tools and I'll go fetchem. Just like in a surgery where the doctor asks the nurse, 'Scalpel... forceps... washcloth...'."

They both chuckled. "That'll be good practice for when you get back to Coryza," he said.

She liked that he remembered her ambition. "Whatcha need first?"

Zinc leaned over the bent grip. "Uhhh... Let's see. I think, first..." He cast a sly eye towards her. "...a smooch?"

She felt like sunny yellow dandelions were raining down around her. With a bounce of her ruffles, she giggled, squeezed closer, and placed a feather-light kiss to his cheek. The fur smelled like gunpowder and sweat. A very exciting odor. "Silly pup," she whispered.

Zinc turned beet red.


***

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