As you lie next to me in the bed,
like on so many other nights,
I feel the guilt return...
the shame...
During our nighttime trysts,
I moan your name like you're the only one;
just as I do for all the others on the nights I work late.
I don't deserve you--
the world's made that very clear by making our life so expensive--
but you don't deserve the pain of loss, either.
How ironic--
the stuff of the stage, or at least a television movie--
Almost nightly I have to break my promise to you,
just so I can afford to be with you.