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You don't have to read if you don't want to.\n\nDepression is different for everybody in that it can be triggered different ways and effect your life differently. For me, it can happen when plans change or when things don't go my way. That may sound selfish and self centered, but maybe you might understand if you knew how I grew up. I've developed my own way of dealing with depression and not bringing other people down with me. That being one of the reasons I don't talk a whole lot on the sites where I post things. I have some close friends that I talk to and that help me through the terrible sadness. Stress is also something that triggers a depressive episode for me and with my wedding coming up in January, having to plan and save money for it is troubling at best. At worst it down right floors me. Originally in this picture I wanted to draw a bunch of people wearing Oni Masks. The reason being is a metaphor my friend came up with to help explain the feeling of being an outsider. \nFor him, he says: Imagine you're just hanging out with your friends one day and chatting when suddenly you notice one of your friends wearing a purple bunny suit. You ask, why are you wearing that purple bunny suit? To which the friend replies, \"What suit, I have no idea what you're talking about.\" So you just let it go. Just one person right? Well, now gradually more and more people are wearing purple bunny suits and sometimes you ask but you never get your answer. \nSo for him, he thinks everyone is mad at him or doesn't like him. For me, it's Oni masks and everyone hates me.\nAnd yes, I looked for inspiration on what to draw for my depression picture and came across a quote on DeviantArt posted by [url=http://the-orange-ribbon.deviantart.com/art/Depression-341568722]The-Orange-Ribbon[/url]:\n\"What is depression like?\" he whispered.\n\"It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing.\"\nI agree with this because I go through stages before my depression. First there's the problem, a panic that raises up in me, then anger and defiance to whatever is preventing me from doing what I wanted, and finally, depression. Regret of what I may have said or done while angry, sadness that I could even do such a thing; to be that angry. This may not be the same for everybody and I may have something wrong that someone else may understand and be able to tell me. But the fact is, I've been to doctors and therapists. They don't help. Doctors throw pills at you and Therapists just sit there listening to your problems. Maybe they don't work because I've moved as many times as years I've been alive but the fact remains that so far, nothing as worked for me. Living alone now helps, because I don't have other people causing problems that I can't control. Come to think of it, I may be a bit of a control freak in that regard. But still... \nAnyway, this was just my look on things and how I am feeling today. I am sorry if this was a bit too intimate for some of you, it's like I said, if you didn't want to read it, you have no obligation from me to do so.","description_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Disclaimer: You don&#039;t have to read if you don&#039;t want to.<br /><br />Depression is different for everybody in that it can be triggered different ways and effect your life differently. For me, it can happen when plans change or when things don&#039;t go my way. That may sound selfish and self centered, but maybe you might understand if you knew how I grew up. I&#039;ve developed my own way of dealing with depression and not bringing other people down with me. That being one of the reasons I don&#039;t talk a whole lot on the sites where I post things. I have some close friends that I talk to and that help me through the terrible sadness. Stress is also something that triggers a depressive episode for me and with my wedding coming up in January, having to plan and save money for it is troubling at best. At worst it down right floors me. Originally in this picture I wanted to draw a bunch of people wearing Oni Masks. The reason being is a metaphor my friend came up with to help explain the feeling of being an outsider. <br />For him, he says: Imagine you&#039;re just hanging out with your friends one day and chatting when suddenly you notice one of your friends wearing a purple bunny suit. You ask, why are you wearing that purple bunny suit? To which the friend replies, &quot;What suit, I have no idea what you&#039;re talking about.&quot; So you just let it go. Just one person right? Well, now gradually more and more people are wearing purple bunny suits and sometimes you ask but you never get your answer. <br />So for him, he thinks everyone is mad at him or doesn&#039;t like him. For me, it&#039;s Oni masks and everyone hates me.<br />And yes, I looked for inspiration on what to draw for my depression picture and came across a quote on DeviantArt posted by <a href=\"http://the-orange-ribbon.deviantart.com/art/Depression-341568722\" rel=\"nofollow\">The-Orange-Ribbon</a>:<br />&quot;What is depression like?&quot; he whispered.<br />&quot;It&#039;s like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing.&quot;<br />I agree with this because I go through stages before my depression. First there&#039;s the problem, a panic that raises up in me, then anger and defiance to whatever is preventing me from doing what I wanted, and finally, depression. Regret of what I may have said or done while angry, sadness that I could even do such a thing; to be that angry. This may not be the same for everybody and I may have something wrong that someone else may understand and be able to tell me. But the fact is, I&#039;ve been to doctors and therapists. They don&#039;t help. Doctors throw pills at you and Therapists just sit there listening to your problems. Maybe they don&#039;t work because I&#039;ve moved as many times as years I&#039;ve been alive but the fact remains that so far, nothing as worked for me. Living alone now helps, because I don&#039;t have other people causing problems that I can&#039;t control. Come to think of it, I may be a bit of a control freak in that regard. But still... <br />Anyway, this was just my look on things and how I am feeling today. I am sorry if this was a bit too intimate for some of you, it&#039;s like I said, if you didn&#039;t want to read it, you have no obligation from me to do so.</span>","writing":"","writing_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'></span>","pools_count":1,"title":"Depression (Day 72)","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"image/png","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"0","rating_name":"General","ratings":[],"submission_type_id":"1","type_name":"Picture/Pinup","guest_block":"f","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"0","views":"20","sales_description":null,"forsale":"f","digitalsales":"f","printsales":"f","digital_price":""}