Fox with Guns
Written By Adam Leisemann
Apologies to:   
Dana Lyons, because we parodied his song, “Cows With Guns”
The Audience, because they have to read this.

Note:  The real reason that the British Parliament has considered outlawing fox hunting, story-song-style.

(Start song)
Fuzzy and clever, pretty but stunted
They may be cute, but they were still hunted
Great fox-hunt

They all burrow, burrow to hide,
Hiding beneath all the countryside.
That’s no fun.

Nobody thought it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great fox guru
Fox are one

He hid in the forest, for he was quite sly
Constantly watched “Return of the Tod-I”
Fox-I Wan

He spoke about justice, ignored by the bulk
He felt like an outcast, alone in the skulk
Fox Doldrums

He yipped we must fight, or be skinned like stoats,
Fox gathered ‘round, cause they didn’t like coats.
Bad fox jokes!

But then he was captured, grabbed by a mutt,
Hauled back to the furrier, to be skinned in a hut.
Foxes bummed.

He was a scrawny kit, he looked rather woozy,
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi.
Fox with guns!

They came with a knife, to scrape off his fur,
He bit their…ahem…he made a big stir.
Jerks un-hung!

Took down his pursuers and fled for the door
A ruddy big lot lay dead on the floor
Foxes run

He got on a stallion, cried out “Tally Ho!”
And all of the foxes got into the show

We will fight for vulpine freedom
And hold our small heads high
We will be free from the basset hounds, or die
Fox with guns

They ripped up the streets like a mad parade
They fought a great battle, and all London prayed
Vulpine fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap,
Covered in fox-scent, oy what a reek.
Noses stunned

Japanese foxes show up in their mecha
And onlookers cry out “What the fu… uhm... heck-a!”

We will fight for vulpine freedom
And hold our small heads high
We will be free from the basset hounds, or die
Fox with guns

The Queen up and said “Enough is enough!
These uppity foxes, it’s time to get tough.”
Big fox hunt

Then parliament said, “Well that is that.
All of those foxes shall be made into hats.”
Fox-furs done

The fox were surrounded, they could only pray
They yipped their last yips, they lived their last day
Fox outgunned

The order was given, to turn foxes to toppers
Enforced by the might of ten-thousand coppers
Yet on the horizon, surrounding the shoppers
Came the nose-rending stench of skunks in great choppers

We will fight for vulpine freedom
And hold our small heads high
We will be free from the basset hounds or die
Fox with guns