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I decided to take some worldbuilding and piece it together into a tongue-in-cheek guide to debauchery.
Not sure how to rate this series properly. Meh, it's gonna be frank discussions so I'll label it "adult".
","writing":"[center]The Complete Bard's Guide to Monster Seduction\n(Everything You Wanted to Know but were Afraid to Ask)\n\n \nBy:\nMarkon Khane: Silver Tongue of Straunia\n\nWith special thanks to: \nOrym Yintoris\nShaneh Freebend\nand\nFigvard the Mad\n\nThis work would never have been possible without any of you. \n \n\n \nForeword\n [/center]\n \nIt is a time-honored tradition for the bard to inject themselves into the quest of another in search of adventure, inspirational muse, fame, or even something as elementary as accusation of wealth. As keepers and distributors of lore, it is our responsibility to engage in such activities to witness great triumphs and terrible failures firsthand. Every epic poem was first spoken by one who bore the journey, and every tragic song first sung by one who suffered the defeat. In the performance of our duties there will inevitably come a time when a beast is faced where the sword of the warrior is broken, the magic of the sorcerer inept, and the prayers of the cleric rejected. Yea, even our traditional methods of diplomacy and guile will not yield results. It is then that we must wield our most cunning weapon of all. \n \nSeduction is more than a skill in our repertoire, it is an art, and as such requires just as much honing and knowledge as the painter's brush, the wizard's staff, or a swordsman's arm. It would not do, and would be doomed to abject failure, to attempt seduction only when the situation requires it. After all, it is not the squire that slays the dragon, so it shall not be the incipient that beds one. Practice is essential. While many a bard will doubtless consider themselves to be an unparalleled philanderer when it comes to dealing with humans, elves, dwarves, and the like, the approach for monsters varies wildly from those encounters. \n \nIt is the purpose of this tome to bequeath my many years of research and experience in this most misunderstood and often maligned art. My background in seduction of this nature spans nearly fifty years and involves thousands of encounters, some with creatures widely regarded as ineligible. While my techniques and knowledge is by no means exhaustive and I admit there are monsters I have never encountered (or indeed, managed to conquer), I firmly believe this is the most comprehensive treasury on the subject as you are likely to read. \n \nI want to be clear that this is a work about the basics of seduction, not a guide to rape. There is no art to holding down an opponent and having your way with them (even if some species prefer it that way), this is about initiating consensual encounters. As such it's going to require a certain amount of respect for your conquests. \n \nSuccess in this foray involves a deeper understanding of your adversaries than knowing their physical weaknesses, strengths, abilities, and combat tactics. I shall be exploring their cultures, desires, mating habits, as well as a myriad of other nuances that can be exploited. Some of this information may appear gratuitous, possibly even trite, but will help you form a more complete awareness of each creature. There will be discussion on when the approach is viable and when it is certainly not. I will discuss compatibility and what mating act is best suited for each monster. I will then outline a strategic approach to each encounter, putting this knowledge into practice. Often this will involve how best to disengage, as with many monsters the dismount can be as potentially fatal as initiating the act. It will include any further hazards including communicable diseases, curses and the possibility of hybrid offspring. \n \nKeep in mind that this is by no means an infallible approach, individuals of a species may vary from the norm and will require you to tailor each encounter. Being able to read your opponent's responses to your advance is essential. Admittedly, often this will be challenging. Since the difference between aroused and angry can be slight, the difference between success and failure can hinge on the smallest of details. Develop your ability to empathize with each individual and engage completely. This may require some humility on your part as you may not always be capable of being dominant. There are no halfhearted measures in this game. If you're unwilling to see an engagement to completion, don't initiate it! \n \nAs my colleague Shaneh Freebend is fond of saying: \"Sometimes the distinction between bred and dead is submission\". ","writing_bbcode_parsed":"The Complete Bard's Guide to Monster Seduction
(Everything You Wanted to Know but were Afraid to Ask)
By:
Markon Khane: Silver Tongue of Straunia
With special thanks to:
Orym Yintoris
Shaneh Freebend
and
Figvard the Mad
This work would never have been possible without any of you.
Foreword
It is a time-honored tradition for the bard to inject themselves into the quest of another in search of adventure, inspirational muse, fame, or even something as elementary as accusation of wealth. As keepers and distributors of lore, it is our responsibility to engage in such activities to witness great triumphs and terrible failures firsthand. Every epic poem was first spoken by one who bore the journey, and every tragic song first sung by one who suffered the defeat. In the performance of our duties there will inevitably come a time when a beast is faced where the sword of the warrior is broken, the magic of the sorcerer inept, and the prayers of the cleric rejected. Yea, even our traditional methods of diplomacy and guile will not yield results. It is then that we must wield our most cunning weapon of all.
Seduction is more than a skill in our repertoire, it is an art, and as such requires just as much honing and knowledge as the painter's brush, the wizard's staff, or a swordsman's arm. It would not do, and would be doomed to abject failure, to attempt seduction only when the situation requires it. After all, it is not the squire that slays the dragon, so it shall not be the incipient that beds one. Practice is essential. While many a bard will doubtless consider themselves to be an unparalleled philanderer when it comes to dealing with humans, elves, dwarves, and the like, the approach for monsters varies wildly from those encounters.
It is the purpose of this tome to bequeath my many years of research and experience in this most misunderstood and often maligned art. My background in seduction of this nature spans nearly fifty years and involves thousands of encounters, some with creatures widely regarded as ineligible. While my techniques and knowledge is by no means exhaustive and I admit there are monsters I have never encountered (or indeed, managed to conquer), I firmly believe this is the most comprehensive treasury on the subject as you are likely to read.
I want to be clear that this is a work about the basics of seduction, not a guide to rape. There is no art to holding down an opponent and having your way with them (even if some species prefer it that way), this is about initiating consensual encounters. As such it's going to require a certain amount of respect for your conquests.
Success in this foray involves a deeper understanding of your adversaries than knowing their physical weaknesses, strengths, abilities, and combat tactics. I shall be exploring their cultures, desires, mating habits, as well as a myriad of other nuances that can be exploited. Some of this information may appear gratuitous, possibly even trite, but will help you form a more complete awareness of each creature. There will be discussion on when the approach is viable and when it is certainly not. I will discuss compatibility and what mating act is best suited for each monster. I will then outline a strategic approach to each encounter, putting this knowledge into practice. Often this will involve how best to disengage, as with many monsters the dismount can be as potentially fatal as initiating the act. It will include any further hazards including communicable diseases, curses and the possibility of hybrid offspring.
Keep in mind that this is by no means an infallible approach, individuals of a species may vary from the norm and will require you to tailor each encounter. Being able to read your opponent's responses to your advance is essential. Admittedly, often this will be challenging. Since the difference between aroused and angry can be slight, the difference between success and failure can hinge on the smallest of details. Develop your ability to empathize with each individual and engage completely. This may require some humility on your part as you may not always be capable of being dominant. There are no halfhearted measures in this game. If you're unwilling to see an engagement to completion, don't initiate it!
As my colleague Shaneh Freebend is fond of saying: "Sometimes the distinction between bred and dead is submission". ","pools_count":1,"title":"The Complete Bard's Guide to Monster Seduction (Foreword)","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"application/msword","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"2","rating_name":"Adult","ratings":[{"content_tag_id":"4","name":"Sexual Themes","description":"Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal","rating_id":"2"}],"submission_type_id":"12","type_name":"Writing - Document","guest_block":"f","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"0","views":"112"}