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Something like \"A strange person gives you an airline ticket that can take you anywhere\" and this is where I ended up. ","description_bbcode_parsed":"This one was a prompt. Something like "A strange person gives you an airline ticket that can take you anywhere" and this is where I ended up. ","writing":"[center]A Ticket to Anywhere\nPart 1[/center]\n \nThe airport was a madhouse. Christmas day was looming and the weather wasn't eager to cooperate. Everyone had somewhere else to be for the holiday and no time left to get there. Delays, delays, delays... everything was behind even as more people filed into the doors of the terminal. I was among those desperate fools trying to get home for pumpkin pie and political arguments with the crazy side of the family. \n\nI dragged my baggage behind as I got into line at the ticket station. The line was horrifyingly long, the zig-zagging ropes corralling hundreds of people into neat rows of luggage and stressed would-be passengers. I scanned the amount of people in front of me and calculated that I was going to be standing there for somewhere between an hour and when time should end. I sighed and settled in for the long wait. \n\nThe going was slow. Every couple of minutes we all got a chance to gather up our belongings and make one step closer to the end of the line as even more piled in behind. Word made it back through the line that they were having issues with the computer system, because of course they were. The family in front of me had two small children who were already getting fussy and agitated. One of them eventually throws herself onto the floor in a fit of boredom. She was screaming as if trying to test the octave limits of her vocal cords. Her parents did their best to ignore both her and the accusatory glares. \n\nJust as I was about to accept that I had actually died on the way to the airport and this was some level of hell that I was assigned to, I noticed a new ticket station being opened. The woman behind the counter prepared her station for work and straightened her uniform. To my amazement as she folded her hands in front of her in a comely manner to signal that she was ready, nobody in the line moved toward the station. I craned my neck to see the front of the line. The person in the front appeared ready, eagerly glancing back and forth for an opening but somehow missing the woman obviously available. \n\nWhen I looked back at the woman she appeared to be waving in my general direction. I glanced around and saw nobody else looking at her. When I returned my attention back to her she waved again. I dumbly pointed to myself and she nodded, motioning me to come to her despite all the other people in line ahead of me. I hesitantly ducked under the rope, feeling like I was cheating the other people in line. None of them seemed to notice or care that I was getting preferential treatment. I dragged my luggage up to the counter the entire time expecting someone to shout a protest, but none did.\n\n\"Good evening, sir.\" She greeted me as I approached. \"What can I do for you today?\"\n\n\"I just need to pick up my ticket that I ordered.\" I told her. Now that I was closer I couldn't help but notice that she was a striking looking woman. She was taller than what was average. She had a long, well-defined face with sharp features, high cheekbones, narrow nose and jawline. Her skin was pale and unblemished. Her long, flowing hair was as dark as ebony. \n\n\"Not a problem, I just need your conformation number, credit card, and I.D.\" She said as she leaned forward. The woman was particularly busty and I couldn't keep my eyes from glancing down. I tried to hide my wandering gaze as I searched my pockets for the items she requested. \n\n\"Yes, they're real.\" She answered an unspoken question that popped into my mind.\n\n\"Sorry.\" I said as I finally averted my eyes. She grinned at me. A strange, overly toothy grin. Her teeth seemed too sharp and too long. Maybe it was poor dental work. Having just been caught gawking I didn't want to do it a second time. I finally managed to produce the requested items. \n\n\"Mr. Jack Landers.\" She read my name as she turned to her computer and busied herself with looking my information up. As she was working she brushed her hair behind an ear. An ear that was strangely misshapen. It was pointed. Just like the character Leonard Nimoy used to play on that sci-fi show. Just what was this woman? Something behind the counter moved and I looked down. \n\nShe had a tail!\n\nRight above her skirt poked out a long tail with an arrowhead shaped tip slowly swaying behind her. Perhaps I actually was in hell. \n\n\"Ooh... Chicago.\" She said sounding disappointed. \"There's a big snow storm up there. It's delayed indefinitely.\" \n \nI shook myself back to reality. She's not a demon and this wasn't the underworld. She's one of those people who go to comic conventions and get dressed up. What do they call them? Cosplayers? She was just wearing make up and a prosthesis. She probably has a servo hidden under her skirt to make the tail move. The airline industry must have a very lenient dress code. I was just going to pretend I didn't notice, just like I pretend I don't notice a transvestite. \n \n\"So what are my options?\" I asked.\n\n\"Well, you could wait it out, you could get a refund, or I could get you a ticket going somewhere else.\"\n\n\"You have anything close to Chicago?\" I asked. Maybe I could rent a car and drive the rest of the way.\n\nShe turned back to the computer with her tail swishing behind her. \"I have a seat going to St. Louis at nine P.M in three days.\" She told me.\n\nI groaned. St. Louis is at least a six hour drive to Chicago in the winter, and three days was Christmas Eve. By the time I made it there I'd be exhausted and spend the entire holiday sleeping.\n\nShe leaned in toward me again, apparently inviting my eyes. \"You didn't really want to go to Chicago, did you?\" She said slyly.\n\n\"How's that?\" \n \n\"Did you really want to put up with another year of your mother asking: Why aren't you married yet and where are my grandchildren?\" She asked. \"Haven't you had enough of your grandfather's appallingly racist jokes? Or your sister complaining about yet another failed relationship? How about Uncle Fred's fun stories about the war that you've heard every year for your entire adult life? Like that one where he took shrapnel to the knee that he tells in excruciating, gory details?\" She made a mock gag gesture, revealing her cloven tongue.\n\n\"How would you--\" I started, but she leaned even closer in. The strain on the top button of her blouse was too much. It disappeared suddenly, flying off to who knows where, and the top of her cleavage was exposed.\n\n\"I can get you a ticket to anywhere.\" She said, giving my curiosity about her specific knowledge about my life little mind. \"Why would you want to go home? You could go to Paris, or Moscow, or even Sydney. You know it's summertime right now in Australia, right? Anyplace you want to go, just name it.\"\n\n\"Chicago?\" I suggested.\n\nShe looked like she was about to start pouting. \"And here I thought you were the adventurous type. I'm offering you a chance to go anywhere you want to and you choose to go where you don't.\" \n\n\"Fine,\" I said, wondering exactly what this woman's deal was, \"you want to know where I want to go? I'll show you.\" At this point it felt like she was wasting my time. If she was going to be ridiculous I could too. I reached into my jacket and pulled out a book. It was a cheap, generic fantasy paperback that I had bought anticipating the long flight. It was called [i]Sovereign of Xog[/i]. I wasn't even sure what it was about, buying it purely on the shlock cover art and hoping for some poorly written brain candy.\n\n\"I wanna go here.\" I said jokingly. \"Can you do that?\"\n\nThe woman took the paperback from me, glancing at the poorly rendered image of an idealistically proportioned, nearly naked man with a sword, being swooned over by an equally perfect and lightly dressed blond woman on the cover. She turned it over in her hand, looking unfamiliar with the work. That didn't come as a surprise at all. She bent the book, using her thumb to flip through the pages. As the paper buzzed before her eyes a smile played on her lips.\n\n\"I know this place!\" She said. \"Some of the details are a little off, but most of it is right. The author must have taken some liberties. This would be a really fun trip.\" \n\nSure. Like I was going to believe that she read the entire thing in five seconds. This crazy chick was starting to get on my nerves.\n\n\"Look,\" I said, \"can I just get my ticket?\" I didn't care how long I had to wait for the flight to Chicago. It couldn't snow forever. Eventually I'll be able to board a plane if I could just get into the terminal. \n\n\"Certainly, sir.\" She said going back to her computer. After a moment the printer spit out a silver ticket and she handed it to me. \"Any luggage?\" \n\n\"Just carry-on.\"\n\n\"Very well.\" She said with a smile. \"Do enjoy your flight.\"\n\n\"Thank you.\" I replied as I turned to find my way through security.\n\nSecurity was relatively pain-free with only mild groping by the TSA agents. Once through I found my gate and readied myself for a long wait with the crowds of other people. To my surprise, no sooner had I opened my trashy fantasy novel when the announcement was made that my flight was boarding. The good fortune pleased me so much that I hardly noticed that the flight attendant who saw me aboard had similar characteristics to the woman behind the ticket counter. I also failed to notice that I was the first one to board the plane, and nobody came on after. I was so tired and relieved to be on a plane that I had scarcely settled into my seat before I had dozed off. \n \n[center]** ** **[/center]\n \n\"Sir?\"\n\nSomeone poked me on the arm and I woke up with a start. I looked up to see the flight attendant looming over me.\n\n\"I'm sorry, sir, but we've arrived.\" The strange, pointy-eared woman said. \n\nI groaned and blinked away the weariness in my eyes. \"I slept for the entire flight?\" I asked groggily.\n\n\"You sure did.\" She told me as she opened the overhead to pull down my rolling bag. \"You looked so peaceful I didn't want to bother you.\" \n\nI glanced around. \"Everyone else is already off?\" I noticed. \n\n\"You were the only one on this flight.\" She informed me.\n\n\"I'm the only one on a flight to Chicago?\" I asked suspiciously. \n\nThe flight attendant looked momentarily confused. \"Uhm... we're not – I mean, yes, this is Chicago. It was a, uh... private flight.\" For some reason my sleep muddled brain accepted that explanation. I stood up and grabbed my luggage. As I turned to walk up the aisle the flight attendant stopped me.\n\n\"Wait, sir!\" She called out. \"You forgot this on the seat.\" She handed me the pulp novel. \"You might need it.\" \n \n\"Thanks.\" I said as I stuffed it into my pocket. She followed me to the exit and down the boarding bridge, her spade-tipped tail swaying behind her. When we reached the doorway to the terminal she lightly grabbed me by the arm.\n\n\"Sir?\" \n\n\"Yes?\" I turned back to her. To my surprise, she handed me an item wrapped in cloth and tied with a ribbon. \n \n\"A traditional gift for all new arrivals.\" She explained.\n\n\"Oh, um, thank you.\" I said. What a strange thing to do. I had never heard of airlines giving a gift for people arriving at O'Hare. I tugged at the ribbon and unwrapped it as the woman opened the door to the terminal. I revealed a bronze hilt attached to a large knife in a wooden sheath. Puzzled, I looked at the woman. \"Look, I know Chicago has a reputation, but don't you think this is excessive?\"\n\nShe grinned at me and smoke wafted between her fangs. \"Thank you for flying with us today, sir.\" She said with a hiss. The flight attendant put a clawed hand on my chest and shoved me through the doorway. With a laugh she slammed the door, which made a heavy, stony thud as it closed and I found myself in complete darkness. It was obsessively hot and humid, my feet were in something that was wet, and there was a constant noise of dripping water. I fumbled in my pocket for my phone and switched it on. The weak illumination of the screen provided enough light that I could see my surroundings. There were stalagmites and stalactites all around me. Where the door had just been there was nothing but a bumpy rock surface with no trace of an exit.\n\nI had a sneaking suspicion that I wasn't at O'Hare.\n\nSomewhere nearby there was a roar of some huge, unseen creature.\n\nDefinitely not O'Hare. \n\n","writing_bbcode_parsed":"A Ticket to Anywhere
Part 1
The airport was a madhouse. Christmas day was looming and the weather wasn't eager to cooperate. Everyone had somewhere else to be for the holiday and no time left to get there. Delays, delays, delays... everything was behind even as more people filed into the doors of the terminal. I was among those desperate fools trying to get home for pumpkin pie and political arguments with the crazy side of the family.
I dragged my baggage behind as I got into line at the ticket station. The line was horrifyingly long, the zig-zagging ropes corralling hundreds of people into neat rows of luggage and stressed would-be passengers. I scanned the amount of people in front of me and calculated that I was going to be standing there for somewhere between an hour and when time should end. I sighed and settled in for the long wait.
The going was slow. Every couple of minutes we all got a chance to gather up our belongings and make one step closer to the end of the line as even more piled in behind. Word made it back through the line that they were having issues with the computer system, because of course they were. The family in front of me had two small children who were already getting fussy and agitated. One of them eventually throws herself onto the floor in a fit of boredom. She was screaming as if trying to test the octave limits of her vocal cords. Her parents did their best to ignore both her and the accusatory glares.
Just as I was about to accept that I had actually died on the way to the airport and this was some level of hell that I was assigned to, I noticed a new ticket station being opened. The woman behind the counter prepared her station for work and straightened her uniform. To my amazement as she folded her hands in front of her in a comely manner to signal that she was ready, nobody in the line moved toward the station. I craned my neck to see the front of the line. The person in the front appeared ready, eagerly glancing back and forth for an opening but somehow missing the woman obviously available.
When I looked back at the woman she appeared to be waving in my general direction. I glanced around and saw nobody else looking at her. When I returned my attention back to her she waved again. I dumbly pointed to myself and she nodded, motioning me to come to her despite all the other people in line ahead of me. I hesitantly ducked under the rope, feeling like I was cheating the other people in line. None of them seemed to notice or care that I was getting preferential treatment. I dragged my luggage up to the counter the entire time expecting someone to shout a protest, but none did.
"Good evening, sir." She greeted me as I approached. "What can I do for you today?"
"I just need to pick up my ticket that I ordered." I told her. Now that I was closer I couldn't help but notice that she was a striking looking woman. She was taller than what was average. She had a long, well-defined face with sharp features, high cheekbones, narrow nose and jawline. Her skin was pale and unblemished. Her long, flowing hair was as dark as ebony.
"Not a problem, I just need your conformation number, credit card, and I.D." She said as she leaned forward. The woman was particularly busty and I couldn't keep my eyes from glancing down. I tried to hide my wandering gaze as I searched my pockets for the items she requested.
"Yes, they're real." She answered an unspoken question that popped into my mind.
"Sorry." I said as I finally averted my eyes. She grinned at me. A strange, overly toothy grin. Her teeth seemed too sharp and too long. Maybe it was poor dental work. Having just been caught gawking I didn't want to do it a second time. I finally managed to produce the requested items.
"Mr. Jack Landers." She read my name as she turned to her computer and busied herself with looking my information up. As she was working she brushed her hair behind an ear. An ear that was strangely misshapen. It was pointed. Just like the character Leonard Nimoy used to play on that sci-fi show. Just what was this woman? Something behind the counter moved and I looked down.
She had a tail!
Right above her skirt poked out a long tail with an arrowhead shaped tip slowly swaying behind her. Perhaps I actually was in hell.
"Ooh... Chicago." She said sounding disappointed. "There's a big snow storm up there. It's delayed indefinitely."
I shook myself back to reality. She's not a demon and this wasn't the underworld. She's one of those people who go to comic conventions and get dressed up. What do they call them? Cosplayers? She was just wearing make up and a prosthesis. She probably has a servo hidden under her skirt to make the tail move. The airline industry must have a very lenient dress code. I was just going to pretend I didn't notice, just like I pretend I don't notice a transvestite.
"So what are my options?" I asked.
"Well, you could wait it out, you could get a refund, or I could get you a ticket going somewhere else."
"You have anything close to Chicago?" I asked. Maybe I could rent a car and drive the rest of the way.
She turned back to the computer with her tail swishing behind her. "I have a seat going to St. Louis at nine P.M in three days." She told me.
I groaned. St. Louis is at least a six hour drive to Chicago in the winter, and three days was Christmas Eve. By the time I made it there I'd be exhausted and spend the entire holiday sleeping.
She leaned in toward me again, apparently inviting my eyes. "You didn't really want to go to Chicago, did you?" She said slyly.
"How's that?"
"Did you really want to put up with another year of your mother asking: Why aren't you married yet and where are my grandchildren?" She asked. "Haven't you had enough of your grandfather's appallingly racist jokes? Or your sister complaining about yet another failed relationship? How about Uncle Fred's fun stories about the war that you've heard every year for your entire adult life? Like that one where he took shrapnel to the knee that he tells in excruciating, gory details?" She made a mock gag gesture, revealing her cloven tongue.
"How would you--" I started, but she leaned even closer in. The strain on the top button of her blouse was too much. It disappeared suddenly, flying off to who knows where, and the top of her cleavage was exposed.
"I can get you a ticket to anywhere." She said, giving my curiosity about her specific knowledge about my life little mind. "Why would you want to go home? You could go to Paris, or Moscow, or even Sydney. You know it's summertime right now in Australia, right? Anyplace you want to go, just name it."
"Chicago?" I suggested.
She looked like she was about to start pouting. "And here I thought you were the adventurous type. I'm offering you a chance to go anywhere you want to and you choose to go where you don't."
"Fine," I said, wondering exactly what this woman's deal was, "you want to know where I want to go? I'll show you." At this point it felt like she was wasting my time. If she was going to be ridiculous I could too. I reached into my jacket and pulled out a book. It was a cheap, generic fantasy paperback that I had bought anticipating the long flight. It was called Sovereign of Xog. I wasn't even sure what it was about, buying it purely on the shlock cover art and hoping for some poorly written brain candy.
"I wanna go here." I said jokingly. "Can you do that?"
The woman took the paperback from me, glancing at the poorly rendered image of an idealistically proportioned, nearly naked man with a sword, being swooned over by an equally perfect and lightly dressed blond woman on the cover. She turned it over in her hand, looking unfamiliar with the work. That didn't come as a surprise at all. She bent the book, using her thumb to flip through the pages. As the paper buzzed before her eyes a smile played on her lips.
"I know this place!" She said. "Some of the details are a little off, but most of it is right. The author must have taken some liberties. This would be a really fun trip."
Sure. Like I was going to believe that she read the entire thing in five seconds. This crazy chick was starting to get on my nerves.
"Look," I said, "can I just get my ticket?" I didn't care how long I had to wait for the flight to Chicago. It couldn't snow forever. Eventually I'll be able to board a plane if I could just get into the terminal.
"Certainly, sir." She said going back to her computer. After a moment the printer spit out a silver ticket and she handed it to me. "Any luggage?"
"Just carry-on."
"Very well." She said with a smile. "Do enjoy your flight."
"Thank you." I replied as I turned to find my way through security.
Security was relatively pain-free with only mild groping by the TSA agents. Once through I found my gate and readied myself for a long wait with the crowds of other people. To my surprise, no sooner had I opened my trashy fantasy novel when the announcement was made that my flight was boarding. The good fortune pleased me so much that I hardly noticed that the flight attendant who saw me aboard had similar characteristics to the woman behind the ticket counter. I also failed to notice that I was the first one to board the plane, and nobody came on after. I was so tired and relieved to be on a plane that I had scarcely settled into my seat before I had dozed off.
** ** **
"Sir?"
Someone poked me on the arm and I woke up with a start. I looked up to see the flight attendant looming over me.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we've arrived." The strange, pointy-eared woman said.
I groaned and blinked away the weariness in my eyes. "I slept for the entire flight?" I asked groggily.
"You sure did." She told me as she opened the overhead to pull down my rolling bag. "You looked so peaceful I didn't want to bother you."
I glanced around. "Everyone else is already off?" I noticed.
"You were the only one on this flight." She informed me.
"I'm the only one on a flight to Chicago?" I asked suspiciously.
The flight attendant looked momentarily confused. "Uhm... we're not – I mean, yes, this is Chicago. It was a, uh... private flight." For some reason my sleep muddled brain accepted that explanation. I stood up and grabbed my luggage. As I turned to walk up the aisle the flight attendant stopped me.
"Wait, sir!" She called out. "You forgot this on the seat." She handed me the pulp novel. "You might need it."
"Thanks." I said as I stuffed it into my pocket. She followed me to the exit and down the boarding bridge, her spade-tipped tail swaying behind her. When we reached the doorway to the terminal she lightly grabbed me by the arm.
"Sir?"
"Yes?" I turned back to her. To my surprise, she handed me an item wrapped in cloth and tied with a ribbon.
"A traditional gift for all new arrivals." She explained.
"Oh, um, thank you." I said. What a strange thing to do. I had never heard of airlines giving a gift for people arriving at O'Hare. I tugged at the ribbon and unwrapped it as the woman opened the door to the terminal. I revealed a bronze hilt attached to a large knife in a wooden sheath. Puzzled, I looked at the woman. "Look, I know Chicago has a reputation, but don't you think this is excessive?"
She grinned at me and smoke wafted between her fangs. "Thank you for flying with us today, sir." She said with a hiss. The flight attendant put a clawed hand on my chest and shoved me through the doorway. With a laugh she slammed the door, which made a heavy, stony thud as it closed and I found myself in complete darkness. It was obsessively hot and humid, my feet were in something that was wet, and there was a constant noise of dripping water. I fumbled in my pocket for my phone and switched it on. The weak illumination of the screen provided enough light that I could see my surroundings. There were stalagmites and stalactites all around me. Where the door had just been there was nothing but a bumpy rock surface with no trace of an exit.
I had a sneaking suspicion that I wasn't at O'Hare.
Somewhere nearby there was a roar of some huge, unseen creature.
Definitely not O'Hare.
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