>You wake up to feel something messing with your morning wood
>Whaddafuck
>You rub the sleep out of your eyes and look around, spotting safari cuddled up to you
>You just now register how warm and soft she is
>She's doing nothing
>Except her horn's glow...ing...
>Even as your member is stroked by an invisible force, you manage to put together 2 and 2
>It equals potato
>Or more likely, telekinesis
>She sees the reaction on your face and smirks
>You let out a small chuckle and lay back, relaxing
>You start to wonder if she's done this before
>If not, she learns quickly
>Doesn't help that the telekinetic force feels so good, even better than that fleshlight you hide under your bed
>In a matter of minutes, you reach your peak and release several shots of baby batter
>She catches it with that telekinesis of hers and pops it into her mouth, much like she did with the noodles and swallows
>"Meh. Not impressed. You know, those porn movies are kinda inaccurate - making cum look like the tastiest thing ever."
>You blink and look at her, not entirely knowing how to respond
"uh..."
>"Yeah, I know you probably haven't tasted cum, I don't expect you to have an answer. But I need to wash the taste out of my mouth." 
>She bounds out of bed with ease and heads into the kitchen
>You get dressed and follow her
>All the while thinking that you might very well have gotten the best gf ever
>And she's a technicolor miniature magical equine
>Where did your life take a left turn at batshit insanity road?
>Well, no matter
>You make some noodles for the both of you, which you wash down with some GAMER FUE- err, mountain dew
>Then you get back to basics and plop yourself down by the computer
>It's pretty early in the day, around 9:50
>You get out your art tablet and decide to do art
>Safari watches silently
>Still, you can feel the curiosity mixed with bored impatience.
>"So what'cha doin' Anon?"
>Bless her heart, she does her best to sound interested
>Since when did you ever use expressions like 'bless her heart'
>Huh
>Whatever
"I was thinking of drawing a bit. Heh, maybe you'd like to model for me?"
>She gives a laugh, which really highlights the slight scratchy quality in her voice
>"Sure, if you think I'm an alright model."
>She strikes a pose
>You begin drawing her
>Hm...needs that little extra flavor
"Say, could you please find a youtube video of the full Shock Treatment soundtrack and play it?"
>She nods quickly and does so
>You quickly sketch her projecting the site - while also whistling along to the music under your breath
>You finish the lineart pretty quick, actually
>Somehow, you are Anon, the Artistic Autistic Apartment-dweller
>You show her the lineart
>"Wow, you did this? Dayumn, that's pretty fucking good! Even if you may not have captured my essence perfectly..."
"Safari, you're not even a week old, what kind of essence have you had the time to develop?"
>She rolls her eyes and pouts
>Then cracks a tiny smile
>"Fair point, I suppose."
"Well, mind continue modeling while I get the colours done?"
>"Aight, make it quick though, I am dying of boredom"
"Heh, that's what she said..."
>The two of you share a laugh
>You colour in the drawing, taking great care to get all the colour nuances and lighting right
>You finish and show it to her
>"Well shit, that's...really good. Can we go outside now?"
"Heh, sure, in a little bit, lemme just upload this first, so others can admire you too."
>You catch her blushing
>Hah!
>You upload the piece to Deviantart
>You'd have thought that place would self-implode with all the furries and sanic inflation fetishists causing all sorts of drama
>Apparently not
>You're a small-time semi-celebrity on there
>Sometimes you do comissions, mostly for fun
>Some people get weird though
>You ignore those
>You hear a meaningful cough from the hallway
>You sigh
"Yeah yeah, coming now"
>"Heh, that's what she said"
>You simultaneously facepalm and chuckle
>You put on your shoes and decide to ask Safari before going outside
"So, what was up with that...I guess kind of handjob?"
>"Heh, well, you seemed aroused, but I had a headache."
>Another shared laugh
"Well, I'll keep that in mind then"
>"Heh, if not, I'm gonna be right here to remind you."
>The two of you head outside
>It's a kinda cold, windy day
>Her mane gets blown every which way, causing visible frustration
>Even so, you decide to walk in the opposite direction of where you biked last time
>After a while, you end up in the older part of town, with a bunch of older buildings
>As well as a lot of sculptures and trees and other plants arranged cleverly
>It's kinda pretty
>Though the wind is getting to you, and Safari seems only marginally warmer, due to her coat
"Hey Safari, what say we swing by a café and get something hot to drink?"
>"I can think of worse thing. Like a non-stop marathon of Stephenie Meyer movies."
>You shiver, and not from the cold
"You've got a very sick mind, you know that?"
>"Eyup"
>She giggles
>You have to admit, that sounds a bit odd coming out of her
>But anywho, you swing by a café you remember after having jogged your memory
>You head inside and order a coffee for you and a hot chocolate for her
>You always did like things with caffeine in them
>You sit down by your table, and she jumps up in a chair, levitating her drink up, smelling it experimentally
>Right, you forget, but she's new to this taste
>There's a giggle from a table by you
>A girl with red and white hair and ruby eyes is sitting there with some unremarkable guy
>"Do I amuse you, toots?"
>Safari looks insulted
>"Oh, it's not that, not at all." the girl responds with a knowing smile that seems a bit smug to you
>Safari raises an eyebrow and takes a sip of her drink
>You look over at the guy, who shrugs and takes a drink of his tea
>The girl puts down her drink and concentrates for a moment
>Suddenly, she's gone and there's a pony in her stead
>With a white and red mane and red eyes
>"My name is Opera, and I'm an AI as well. I had similar experiences to that when I first arrived here. So, well okay, I guess I did find it amusing, but only because I've been there myself."
>She smiles and transforms back into a human
>Safari gives her a questioning look
>"Hands. Very convenient when you don't have telekinesis, which I, as a first-generation AI, don't have."
>She takes a long drink of her tea
>Meanwhile, her partner just grins
>Safari looks somewhat excited
>"Pleased to meet the two of you. My name's, well, you probably guessed already, Safari. And my ball 'n chain here is Anon"
>She grins and gestures to you
>The guy decides to pipe up, looking amused
>"Funny, my name's Anon too. Handsome name, ain't it."
" 'course it is. Majestic, even."
>He holds out his fist
>You bump knuckles with him
>Safari's busily engaged in conversation with Opera
>"Mind letting us in on the conversation, ladies?" 
>Safari responds almost instantly
>"I've been having trouble with my avatar system, thus locking me in pony form, and Opera helped me find a fix for it. Oh and we were totally talking shit about you two."
>They both break into a gigglefit
>You shake your head, chuckling
>You drink about half of your coffee
"Heh. Funny. But yeah, Safari's been helping my life get on track, get me outside and talking to people. As you can see, that's lead to awesome things like this. Which reminds me, I gotta find a way to return the favor"
>You look over at her
>She's just finishing her hot cocoa, licking her lips
>She grins triumphantly
>"Shucks, ain't nothing, bro."
>You trade skype names and phone numbers